Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Cat Condom Catastrophe - #337

Episode Date: August 18, 2015

RT Discusses Condom-Eating Cats. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers will learn that an Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now now only on peacock This week brought to you by brain tree me on these and pizza All three of them out there. The middle one always hides for me in the Ristreet logo. This week? I like Death Theme. It's like after a hard day learning stuff, just getting you

underwear and you Pizza. I could have fun with the head. It's like in the correct order. That was my life. Where do you wipe your hands at that point? That's, I don't want to pay sure it. Got in the pizza box. We have a special guest for this this week. Look! We have Felicia Day joining us here in the studio. That was a regal. Look at the queen. Well, I was, I actually am from Austin and I was in a parade when I was in college here in Austin. I played beauty and beauty in the beast and the guy who played beast put his hand way too much on my thigh the whole time.

But anyway, so it was a prey. You're in a prey, you put his hand on your side during the parade. Oh, yeah. We were in like a carriage. I was playing Bell and he was playing the beast and I had my hair huge. I have so many pictures of this where and they taught you they taught me how to wave when you're in a page and it's wrist wrist arm arm, wrist wrist arm arm. And that's what you do. That's how the queen wrist wrist arm arm wrist wrist arm arm. And that's what you do. That's how the queen wrist wrist arm arm.

I got it. Looks like something that comes forward out of a clock and then starts. I've never seen Queen Elizabeth wave like this. Do you ever see her do this? Do you have a lot of footage of her? No, she's a wave fan, right? Yeah, she always like, yeah, that's her like her default wave.

She does like this. Yeah, that's what that's royal wave number one. It's the pageantry of royalty. So does the guy then you're in a public parade and he puts his hand on your leg? It was it was yeah It was I was in the ball gown as Bellas want yeah He was in a beast mask and I was like hey, I never actually saw what he looked like I don't know who he was holy was really Nothing before yeah, no, but never he just showed up in a mask. He might have been the beast

It probably might not have been a mask So this is this is UT like UT Austin. Yeah, no, they're never he just showed up in a math he might have been the beast It probably might not have been a mask. So this is this is UT Like UT Austin. Yeah, like no, it might even Joel His Joel was in theater back then he was in a UT theater That's the thing about it release so that I don't think many people that were Q. No is that she went to UT She's actually a math major I studied music college of natural sciences Yeah, I did a lot of like little little shorts for the RTF program actually a math major. I studied music, college of natural sciences, represent.

Yeah, I did a lot of like little shorts for the RTF program. I tried to talk my way into the theater program. They wouldn't let me. They were like, you gotta be a major. So I took dance there. Yeah, and they're always trying to get me to go to the alumni dinner for the theater department.

I'm like, guys, you turn me away. Yeah, Matt has that to our CEO. It's like, I was a computer science student. And he was all, oddly enough, computer science was in the College of Natural Science as well, because it was an offshoot of the math department. A silicone, right? Yeah, I guess so. It's one of the elements, right?

Yeah. So you see silicone, by the way? Yeah, good enough. Cylacons, it's all the same. She nearly credibility is like plummeted. But yeah, but Matt was, Matt was a guy trying to get in the film school forever and then just ended up staying in RTF instead of going direct film school and then now it's like he's on the

board for the communication school and the film department's always like, hey come over with this thing. Yeah, they're like, I'm sorry you didn't let me in. I will not, I will not donate my $20 a year whatever to keep my email. You did, yeah, and you, you tease like 50,000 students. I think the best thing you learn at UT are that I learned at UT is that there's no one there to help you Basically, you're on your own and you learn how to work in a huge system And now they like write me all the time like for money and everything

I'm like I gave you guys enough money. I know and and also I try to get into certain classes And you have to go and court the professors like for two weeks I wanted in this folklore class because I love folklore and fantasy and Fairytales and two weeks I kept going to this guy's office hours trying to convince him to let me in his Track and then eventually he was like I'm not gonna let you in but I really enjoy talking to you I'm like out. It's like you show up with flowers like please. Yeah and like a Claire's and all this stuff and finally I was like I was never gonna let you in. Oh my god. Here's how Felicia left the office hours for last time she was like you in. Oh my god. Here's how Felicia left the office hours for last time. She was like, bye.

Restressed arm. Restressed arm middle finger. That's the way you go out the door. So, wait, wait, wait, I'm going to go back to something. You said, so you can pay, like, the Alumni Association, to keep your email address? Yeah, you have to stay and to keep that you text us.edu. And I never did it. And when I was researching my book, actually, I was like, hey, let's go in those emails, because I'm sure there's something embarrassing. And it was gone because I never paid to maintain the... I'm glad. Yeah. I don't want my bad.

I feel like that's something you would want. Like when you're graduating, it's like an nostalgia thing. Like, oh, I've had this email address for four years. But then from the outside looking in, you're like, no, that's stupid. If I, everyone's going to think you're still like a college student or a... Yeah, if you're 30 years in a college email address. I was like, why would you want a college email address? Because you want to join Facebook in 1994 or whatever 2004?

Yeah. When do they need college IDs to join Facebook? Oh, like five, I think. Yeah. Wouldn't people think you're a professor or something at that point? What do they have different emails? I do. Probably.

Because that would get you some. They just still fuck your... Then you get the meetings with people like Felicia and you go, I really enjoy talking to you, but I'm not a professor. If you were really smart, if you could pick your email address when you first start school, I would pick like, profsarola. That way, like when I graduated, talking to you, but I'm not a professor. If you were really smart, if you could pick your e-mail address when you first start school, I would pick like, profsarola. That way, like when I graduated, it's like, oh yeah, you totally professor, it's an e-mail address right there.

It's like, I've always wanted, I've always thought it would be really funny to have a kid and have their first name be doctor. Be like, this is my son, Dr. Serola. His name's Dr., you're not like misleading people, but it's like instant credibility So if he became a doctor, it'd be doctor doctor doctor doctor. That's pretty good. Which is a really good song Yeah, you're the only music major here trust me. I'm not picking that up Gus can I ask you a cheeky little question? What is on your nose? It's a glasses. No, what happened? You know? Side of your nose. No, I blew it.

He blew his up journey. I got a bandaid there. Um, I had a huge pimple, uh, that I tried. I was really upset that you tried to set you up on something and you just didn't go for it. I can tell you were genuinely hurt by that. I have my feelings. Because I never do that. Um, I had a giant pimple on there.

I guess it was like post-RTX dress. And uh, the stress went to your nostril. Yeah, so on Tuesday I decided to try to pop it and it just got like impacted. No, don't pop it. Gross Tuesday. Yeah, and then this morning in the shower it literally exploded. It just like blew up and went everywhere. So rather than subject you to the whole on the side of my nose I decided to put a little

bandaid on it. Why don't 14 inches do that? What do you mean? Like just put a bandaid on it and say, I had a mole removed except it's a, you know, I mean why don't we just do that? What do you mean like just put a bandaid on it said item mole removed except it's a you know I mean, why don't we just do that? I had a mole removed. I didn't have last week You have to cut that to size was that special pimple bandaid it was that size. I don't know Like a little variety pack of band a like where's the smallest one? That was it have you ever seen those videos on YouTube where it's

just pus extraction, it's just extraction? People are really into those. Sometimes when I, somebody's really mean to me and I just click on their portrait and see like, what kind of individual would say this to another human? A lot of the times I've seen people who just like those kind of videos like all the roads. So you're like, you're hate is like pus watches. A couple of them. I've been jared because the thumbnail is just something I didn't want to. So there's an ASMR thing, I guess. And there's a whole subreddit for it.

I think it's like popping or something. And it's just videos and gifts of that. I like stuff that isn't, it's actually still kind of gross. But stuff that you know you would get satisfaction from if it was happening to you. Like the big airwax lumps that get pulled out of people's ears. It's just like, you want to see mine? It's gross, but it's like, oh, that must feel amazing.

I like it, man. I like videos where like somebody removes like a giant splinter from their hand or something. I can't do it. I can't do like, especially. It was a sea turtle. Did you guys see this? Oh, with a nostril? Yeah, it had a...

And a sea turtle in their nostril? It's a very specific subreddit for that. Just taking tiny animals out of nostrils. I would watch that any day of the week. It's like, it's... It's a kitten. Elephant, yeah. Give me a guessing game. What animals do we remove now?

It's like a Kinder egg except I can't even smell the other notes. No, it's a people these oceanologists, what do they? I don't even know. I just turned the video. Marie was sad. Marie biologists. Marie biologists, why not? I don't think they are. They seem like people who had like two years of undergrad

and then all got in a boat together and went to Belize. It seems like that level is just like four dudes in the leather man. Yeah, got a leather man. And they had this giant sea turtle and two of them were holding it down because they found it had like something plastic hanging a little bit of its nostril.

And this guy gets a pair of pliers. It's like an eight minute video trying to get this thing out and Eventually they pull a full drinking straw out of this sea turtles nostril So how did they get in there? How did it go straight down it's not my god? That's okay first of all It's hard to watch it's blood as well First of all, you're not supposed to do that if you're not an actual doctor You shouldn't do that you know because you know when your cat eats a rubber band and it starts to stick out of its butt Can I talk about that? Go ahead. Yeah, go

ahead. We talk about whatever. See you. So, you know, you have a little bit of a rubber band out of your cat's butt and you're like, and then I've read online, you can't pull it or their intestines will come all the way out. It's just like, you can make cat hemorrhoids if you want. You know, they'll just literally like, oh, I just have this rate in my cat, kind of like a night, you know, a 14th century, you know, king would do to a trader. I don't think't think I'm gonna tell this certain podcast and we can edit this out because we're not live. So please, if we did you be a rule-er-shed? We just like except for the live stuff we pretty much say whatever one to I can't remember then everyone has the right to like final cut to veto. But that just lets us record whatever we want to.

Did I ever say about my cat in college? God damn it. Did I ever say about my cat in college that we eat condoms? No! Why did they out? condoms. That's the way they're doing it. No, no, no. Why are they out? Why are they not in the pockets? Well, I mean, like, if they end up somewhere out there, they're all they use. Yeah, they're all they use. Who can blame them?

That ruins a really intimate moment when it's like two in the morning, you hear this noise. Buh, buh, buh, buh. Well, my dog used to eat my underwear. Like, any used underwear? You're just like, what happened? That was very expensive. And for some reason, I don't know why it's tasty. Was it even, I don't know if I want this ever in there, but we don't worry. We can get anything out.

You said remember all the horrible stories. Yeah, I remember. I'm about to. So my crotch dog. Okay. He passed away. He won't be embarrassed. Oh, I'm sorry.

It's okay. Yeah. And then he was in a parade with her and put his hand at like Point the cat going for the Johnny's was it into it for the I don't know for this I like a mission. How frequently did this happen enough enough? I mean it was like I had to modify my behavior. Oh, yeah, don't fling you'll use Contents because the room you would have been in a lot of places like you know like put do the condoms because they're even in the one I want. They would end up in different places like, you know, like, put, do the tissue maneuver and then put it in the waste basket.

After you're done, don't take your shoot off like a rocket. In college, I didn't like, I do. Yeah. In college, I didn't live in a place where the bathroom was like part of my suite. I had to like leave and go down the hallway or whatever to use the bathroom. So sometimes you take the waste paper basket for a short term,

for convenience, and then that became remarkably inconvenient when the cat would have like half of a condom hanging out of its butt. Anyway, we'll get on that topic. Sorry about that. No, it was fascinating. What was the cat's preferred brand? They could put like a selection out of the cat's butt. It was whatever it had. It was cheesy. If the cat f cat fight would inflate

Yeah, so you're not supposed to pull anything out of it But if it was a rubber band surely you can just give it a snip and then be like I mean I think you just stare at Investigation because at first you think it's like a tapeworm or something Yeah, it looked on something out. What if it the cast hanging upside down from his a no I mean, I don't think it gets that long I don't have like a dust real size rubber bands that hold together crates or something I mean I'm just basically the cats from mission impossible

It's lowering itself to the floor. Bungie can be like a super power I'd like to think that that turtle with a straw and it's an off-stroll like it was trying to use a straw It was a vatch. It was a bendy straw. It was like bent up So it didn't actually have to surface to get air. You could just get right under the surface of the water. And be like, this is fucking awesome. They come and they take away his superpower. What I was imagining the whole time I was watching that video was there's some kind of actually

trained, you know, veterinarian out there who's watching the video going, yeah, that's a stint that somebody put in the turtles nostril to help it. And you guys are trying to pull it out because it certainly looked like I don't know how the thing would get in there. It must have been shoved in that box. Well, they have, if you've seen, I mean, isn't the pressing, but if you look, they're whole islands of plastic in the middle of our ocean that just the currents make and it's just awful. That's why you're always supposed to snip boys and girls always snip your six pack thing so the birds don't die. Where the seals begin around their neck. So that's why you play twat, right?

Everyone shoves their hand through the holes. Go ahead. What? And then, well, with a six pack, you get six people. It's called twat, right? Is this true? You shove the bridge ring. You shove your hand up the thing.

Everyone pulls away. Whoever gets the all of it is a twat. Twat? Yeah. And a twat is a vagina, right? Yeah, it's an insult. Or is that a fanny? No, yeah. Also, fanny is is a vagina right? Yeah, or is that a fanny? No, yeah, also

Fanny is also a vagina. T.Wat has moved on to just describing a person who's a giant Yeah, like calling someone to see what really see where did you just self-sensor yourself? Yeah, I don't say that on self-subs For gentlemen with a British accent. It's true I Definitely never heard of that game ever my entire life. It's a great thing. It's fun and it helps the environment We have we have so so I want to complain about Six pack for a second. It's a really good call. So you know There's the old method which is like those plastic rings that you're supposed to cut up

So I guess in order to combat that now we have those new types of six packs on if you've seen them for it's like hard six hard plastic Shills they go on top of the can. All right. Yeah, it like covers the top. I fucking hate those. Why? Because it's so hard to pull off a beer from those. Pull down. If you pull down, I've been trying to pull to the side. Oh, no. You can also pull.

I know you're being like a sarcastic prey. No, no, no. I'm on the side. Yeah. No, pull down. It's here. It's easier. Like, because I'm always like pulling to the side than like the whole thing shifts.

And I'm afraid that I'm shaking my beer in the camera. We're never curting to pull down like that because It is counterintuitive because normally you have things on a counter right can't like Mood space and time to be able to like I'm going through the fourth dimension to get my Never would have thought so what I do now is whenever I first get that six pack I pull off six off and put them in my fridge and then just throw that thing away because I don't want to have to deal with them. Oh, there you go. So yeah, show me.

Normally what I do is I try to pull to the side like this and you see it just turns. But don't you end up pulling down at some point? It sucks. That was pretty easy. That was pretty easy. Watch this gear's Gavin, test these methods. Pretty good, but you pulled a lot harder too. I was just gonna stay Let me do it.

I'll be left out. See? See it sucks. You can edit anything. I thought it was what you wanted. I thought it was what I wanted, but I got a beer. Let me give this a try. What is this?

That's actually a gift. You got an RTX. Someone gave it for the podcast. I think they wrote the name of Sarah Tosa. I just don't know. You have better wrist action. All of you men. You pulled straight down, right?

Yeah, he pulled straight down. It's really just a lid. I mean, let's me on. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do podcast. I think they wrote the name of Sarah Toss. I just don't know. You have better wrist action, all of you men. Right, you pulled straight down, right? Yeah, he pulled straight down. It's really just a lid. I mean, let's be honest, Gus.

There's like four little tabs. I'm sure there's a bad way of doing it. Maybe you need one of those security tag removies and it just comes off. You need a friend, it's a way to bond. One person holds it the other one posts. And then your friends forever. Speaking of cheer beer.

That's true. Speaking of RTX. So someone gave these to RTX. Yes. So are you gonna are you gonna drink this? Yeah, I love that beer. It's one of my favorites. Yeah. I don't know. Someone made me a tea pot. Really? That's beautiful. That dad was a potter. And then she gave me this. I was gonna say that the glaze on that is quite as lovely. I'm gonna have a cup of tea later. Nice. We had a few more beers and what not. I don't know. Would you get that one from Dan? Oh the way. Nice. We had a few more beers and whatnot. I don't know.

Would you get that one from Dan? Oh, okay. We had a few more beers that people gave us for the podcast. All right. I'm gonna try this. Makes me nervous. I don't like it. It's warm.

It hasn't been in the fridge. That's a really good beer. That's a really good beer. I think if you say, it's very nice to go to Comic Con. We're doing a signing. It's someone brings me like a tray of baked goods. I'm like, thank you.

I'm not gonna eat this. I'm not going to eat this. And I always try to communicate that so people won't waste their time. I have a lot of professional baker fans for some reason. Like I was in Boston signing two days ago. And this woman brought me the most professional whoopie pies I've ever seen in my life. And what? And then what? No, there were whoopie pies.

It's like a cake Oreo. So they were chocolate cakes. And then there was cream in the middle and she put little green frogs and and and it was good. Have any of this on you right now, but any chance on me. No, I know there were a dozen whoopee pies and I gave them away just so I would only eat half of them. And then last night in Toronto, someone gave me cookies literally with my face on them. So I was eating my life the whole night Like the kind of like printing they do or they just drew did they draw you know they're sprinting. Yeah, that's crazy

It was crazy come from you think they would have been a big announcement. Oh there it is. Oh there we go Yeah, it's good. Oh, it looks like a swollen Oreo. Yeah, don't say the word swollen We They can do you red velvet ones to you read one of those oh Revolved anything pretty much they could do like Red velvet sticky this point die right just red chocolate right red velvet kind of came out of nowhere It I never heard a red velvet growing up and all of a sudden everything was red velvet all the time Yeah, I don't know where where the lore came I would I imagine there's some old woman who just

Accidentally slipped in blood into a chocolate cake and that she's like oh, it's accidentally slipped in blood into a chocolate cake and she's like oh it's red. True or? But one time we had we had someone make us a bunch of bread like homemade bread. What are you talking about? This back when we were at the buta office. Someone like made someone make us bread? No we didn't make them. Someone made us homemade bread.

I said we had this time where someone made us homemade bread and they shipped it to us because we were down in our old studio. And we got it, and they even made like this elaborate box. It was really cool looking. They had like fabricated this cardboard box to look like a treasure chest, and they had drawn all over it. And it was like, wow, it's like a little locking mechanism.

We opened it up, it was filled with homemade bread. That was all moldy. No. Because they had sent it parcel post. No, that's a very... So it had taken like 10 days to get to us. And since it was homemade, it didn't have like preservatives or anything like that. And it was taken like 10 days to get to us and since it was home-aided didn't have like preservatives or anything like that it was just like bags of

mold and I felt so bad because obviously this person had put so much work and so you ate it anyway right no god no that's why you're a super power just cut it off and it the good great how good your immune system would have got off to that life I mean in the middle ages they would eat mold right I mean you had to they also died when they were 30 true We still eat cheese you say molding it right cheese mold Jesus age stake that's moldy. No you ever seen how they do age stake don't look it up Tell me they just leave it out for like 30 days

Well, they just leave a slab of meat out Yeah, they put in a room with like lower humidity and a certain temperature But the temperature's not like 30 degrees, temperature's like 65. If you ever go to a, and they just take the parts that are like nasty and they just cut that part off. That'd be a maggot's and stuff. Yeah.

Is that how you make like travelers bread and the stuff in RPGs that just last in your pack for, you know. Lamb is bread. Lamb is bread is actually just one your bread. That's like so old, that it's hardened. If you're ever in Vegas at the New York, New York casino, they have like a steakhouse, like right when you first walk in, I forget what it's called, but they age their steaks

in a window so you can see this process, if you ever wanted to see what it looks like, sometimes the steaks are fresh, like they just put them out, but sometimes it's like, oh, those have been there for like 30 days. And you can see, if you knew you were coming back to Vegas, could you be like, I want that in a month,

save it for me. I don't know, bro, Look out. You'll say they probably have other ones in the book. You should see that it's like killing a lobster. I can't, yeah, I have something to say. I've never, and I will live my life never being like, Earl, you die. Give me that lobster. Like never. I will never do it. I know it's a technicality because the lobster probably has a name and it's killed anyway. Pre if they're not live, but I will never be like that tank, give me that fish. Because you don't want to be like the grim reaper to that one fish.

Right. Are you okay with that? I've never done that. I don't think I will. Okay, good. I also don't want to do anything that like an alien civilization is going to find at some point in the future and say, oh, they're cool with this.

Like the Japanese dish where they eat the fish while it's still alive. Oh, no. So cool. I don't want anyone thinking we're okay with that. It's like you're still not against us. Wait until the aliens show up and they all look like that fucking fish. Yeah.

And they're like, oh no, this plan's going down. Dude, speaking of aliens, did you read that thing this week that octopus is an aliens? Yeah, what is that? Wait, what? Well, they're basically, they're not aliens. They're basically said that octopus is are not anything like anything else by a long way. Like, their genes are so different and they're not even like other models. They don't share anything.

Yeah, smart though, right? You could teach octopus some really cool thing. It's like finish, finish in Hungarian. I think are the only two languages like that language. Like an octopus? That's what I can. That's what octopus is actually unique. Yeah.

So, yeah. You can carve an octopus tentacle and it will still try and get food and feed a mouth that it no longer has. The tentacle will. Yeah. Well, the thing that creeps you out about octopus is like, do you ever see the thing where it was on the deck of the boat and it found a hole? It was like a drainage hole and the whole octopus fit through a hole about that big, a big

old octopus. Because the only hard thing is the beak. The big see only hard thing everything else can just mish Can you imagine fitting through any hole that you're mouth is good for the Lord? Yeah, you can go in someone's It's through I'm good. That's when plastic man needs to never happen as a movie. Yeah, well They tried to make it happen like last weekend again. They tried fantastic for Yeah, I really think that's what hold that's a whole back fantastic for is Mr. Fantastic. I've always what listen I can't in when I play Lego you know Marvel or anything I'm like get out of here I never use that guy he's a major creep. I think it freaks me out I really do. I think when they see the arms

stretching and all that stuff they can't handle it. Somebody really wants to make that franchise happen. Like it's this is like this is like another attempt at it and it's just none of them have really taken off like I feel like the previous incarnation did okay but even then it wasn't like anything like Avengers or any of the other comments because those are the comics as a kid I love the most yeah because it was a family it seemed cool it was like the Hercules and Scooby-Doo it's Hercules I love the her her

it's yeah Felicia actually likes something that's really important from my upbringing as well. Find out you're a big ultimate fan. You're a playing ultimate games. Yes, I, yeah, that is literally the formative video game. Are you a big ultimate fan as well? Huge.

I have like, I just went through it. We had a thing where we helped Richard Garriott launch his Kickstarter on the podcast for... Shroud of the Avatar. Shroud of the Avatar. And I had a copy of Al-Calabeth. I didn't play it. launch his Kickstarter on the podcast for uh... yeah shout out the avatar and uh... i had a copy of alkele that i didn't play it i was the unplay it was like one he made me a teenager to the zip lock that first one right here

that he would like to be there was like seven of them the world might have copy of it and he brought in some stuff and i was showing it to him i said you made this game like thirty five years ago and he goes that game that disk was made on that computer that he brought in and so we took the disk over the computer and it booted up as an apple to eat computer

yeah we re-nighted the disc with the computer like thirty five years and that's amazing i can't believe he brought that machine i even brought in like the uh... that is uh... so pretty three yeah that's a that's a really early one but you know it was the first one you play my first one was five five and then I went back and played four and I got to have said with that and then six was amazing.

Four was my first one. I kind of played three a little bit and then I played four. Four was like the first game I'd ever heard of where they built a moral system into the game. Well, that's what I put in my book. I have a whole chapter on. Oh no, yeah, I'll get you a copy. I'll give you a opinion.

Yeah, there's a whole chapter because I was home schooled so I didn't have any friends ever in real life and my brother and I loved video games we had like an amiga which is yeah and friends with amiga. Amiga was not the cool machine there was the commoner there was the PC there was the apple of the other this world that's about it that I remember that was the one exclusive that amiga had anyway. Anyway, just like, oh, yeah, that's the platform to be on note. So and then when we got prodigy, which was like this pre- internet thing, immediately I go into the Ultima form.

And I joined this group called the Ultima Dragons. And there's a whole story about how I met them in real life. And one of them was my first kiss and all the stuff. And like it's so formative. I would write like fan fiction about Ultima on the board. Yeah, awesome. Yeah, I would always enter a tavern and kick somebody in the face and just kiss people. This is used net by the way, she's talking about the dragon's forearms.

One I remember was on use net. It was on prodigy before on use net. And it was a splinter group that moved, you know, wow, that's amazing. Is that amazing? Yeah. Were you in it? Hardcore. I read dragon stuff on use net, but I wasn't really part part of it. I wouldn't say you didn't name yourself cuz I was code extra Why you yeah, well were you? Were you code extra code extra? And so that's what really say that's where codex came from. It's funny So it's funny you bring up prodigy, you know, we just had our event

downtown Austin last weekend and someone emailed me after the event like talking about what a great time They had they used a prodigy email address last weekend and someone emailed me after the event, like talking about what a great time they had, they used a prodigy email address. Like last week, and I saw, I was like, how the fuck does that still work? That's a new hipsterism. Right, it's like. It's like, take an obscure like,

Alta Vista. Compute serve. I knew someone who was really proud of his rocket mail address, which is what, Yahoo Mail bought when they launched Yahoo Mail. It was like, only if you had Rocket Mail before Yahoo bought it, could you still have the Rocket Mail address? He's like, yeah, I've got a Rocket Mail address.

Jeannie was another one. Remember that? I had a account on Jeannie too. That was like the... Was it like, just go visit my website at GeoCities. You did it. Try pod about with some of those other ones. We should do that.

Can we buy those domains? Can we just have like tripod.com. I'm gonna go to GeoCities right now. Let's see what it is. Yeah, it's just Yahoo. Yeah, Yahoo bought it Yeah, it's so bad It was like the brick-of-rack, you know like scrapbooking of people's websites. Yeah, with a rainbow bar and the animated gifts and all that stuff Oh so bad and then my space came along and took over all of that

She was at least it would animated gift for GIF where it would camp you in I say GIF just because I like the Interesting and I say gif just because I like the Interesting I say I kind of Whenever it comes out of my mouth I grow self-conscious and then quickly say the other one just so someone thinks I'm right either way It's a boat full of passionate debate online. I don't I don't have it's like who and whom or affect affect Yeah, my I get insecure whenever it comes out of my mouth. Where did I was an effect or effect? There was another one Damn it. I can't remember what it was. There was something I guess I got the effect an effect rule messed up We're ones a verb and one is a Now and you use one for the other and there was another word that I associate with that

But it just wasn't sure. I'm I'm the same for a minute think about it But it makes you insecure when you have when you say it that you might be, or maybe that's just, Oh, sure. So also when you go to spell and there's always the one word that you just can't spell. I always get confused with sang and sung. Like I never know when to use those. Sing and sung?

Yeah, like he sang that. He sang his song, he sang his song. Sing a song of six pence. I sung as, now you're ruining my mind. We know musical version of the podcast. This is Alicia. People get mad at us for getting science wrong all the time. Let's get grammar wrong now Yeah, that'll be great for us. That'll be easier to get wrong. There's less leeway. Yeah, but there's less

people know when you're wrong. I was I'm like all I know is that I can do as like a rules maven is the gerent like bringing You know you're always supposed to use that. I can't think of an example now, but the misuse of jaren's is very wait, it wasn't. So what is the wrong one of bringing? I can't be brought. Huh? Brought. I go for some brought worst. Yeah. His no, his bringing.

It's, oh, that's it. It's possessive. You always have to use his, the fact of his, his bringing it's oh that's it. It's possessive you always have to use his his the fact of he his bringing rather than him bringing I see okay the often use possessive when using a gerund and that's literally the only grammar thing like look at me When my gerunds that yeah, you're gerund showing dude Let me read this When I mind everyone this episode of the Rischief podcast is brought to you by brain tree code for easy online payments If you're building a mobile app and searching for a simple payment solution, check out BrainTree. The BrainTree V.0 SDK makes it easy to offer multiple mobile payment types.

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Because I thought you were gonna throw something in Showing off my ability to take the beers off the ring and the company's like why would you why be cringing when you were reading I didn't want to get hit in the face companies like why are you why are you cringing when you were reading on ad? I didn't want to get hit in the face. I'm trying to put the promotion of the first $50,000 of payments are fee free. Free free. What would you take for somebody new starting out to like generate $50,000 of payments? Are we theoretically going to service and you wouldn't pay any fees?

Mm-hmm. Is there a limit on the amount of time before you hit the 50K? I don't know. That's not that's not in front of me. So I can't tell you. I think there is. I cannot tell you what that's not. You should read all the rules. me so I can't tell you. I think there is I cannot tell you what that should read all the rules

I felt I felt so smart yesterday Oh, I figured out well, I think I figured out something that just kind of confused me for a while Why laughing? We're white switch. What was it? What was it that confused you know how when you get on a plane and jet wait it detaches to the plane? Let me real play. Okay. I'm on a plane You don't on the plane yet. You're walking on the jet way. Here we go. Got it. Thanks I'm walking on the plane always and a person who has a limp that will not get out of the center of the aisle I just people who don't know like it's got

Cons of the worst because it's like you're walking behind somebody and this people just literally stop to look at something in the middle of a Walkway and it's like or people like gather in a doorway to have a conversation. Well, they just tie that shoe right in front of you And you go straight over my favorite is the people who get to the top of the escalator and then stop. We're moving here. We cannot stop. Anyway, so you're on a jetway. Yeah, so they attach the jetway to the plane and it's weird wheel that looks like sits against the plane. I know you're talking about. Yeah, and I just saw one of those things where it's like, I wonder what that is. Never think about it again. And then until you're next on a plane, it's like, oh, it's not wheel again. I wonder what that is. Never think about it again. And then until you're next on a plane, it's like,

oh, it's not wheel again. I'm like, I'm like, it's the u-b-y-love. You do it. A little great. So the wheel, I figure it out, when the jetway gets heavy,

the wheel rolls down the plane, and then it knows how much to adjust back up. And I think that's what the wheel's for. Oh, so there's what you think it's for. Yeah, but I was just like, that's probably totally what that's for. Like when the wheel rolls down It lifts the jet way back up like it knows like a System knows the people on the jet system knows the circumference of the wheel. Yeah, so if it moves

It doesn't drop down below the step so here's what I would from this next time I get on a plane I can reach up grab that wheel spin it and it will launch it straight up in the air Am I really a catapult? I don't think that's what that's You don't feel it's an even easier. What's the wheel for then? I think it's for you seeing this wheel then. I have never seen the wheel. I always stand on the gang plank and picture a disaster where it feels very unstable just as you're getting onto the plane and it collapses right as I get there.

I thought I was the only one. It's a big drop. I think about it every time. Every single time. I've flown five times in the last week and every time I have an anxiety to actually, you know what I think? I would love an amusement park where we they don't have like Superman rides they have everyday situations

that have disasters. That's a really idea. I love it. You all packing to like a 737 and that's all it is and it's closed and it's just like it's like you get into an elevator and the doors close on your shoulders. You're like Yes, and then you're actually physically injured We can go through anxious thoughts all day and I can I believe we would meet each other I love Gavin's ride Gavin's ride would be like you get in the elevator And then just someone you don't know wants to talk to you that would be Gavin's that would be a disaster And you would have headphones and you put them on and they would still talk to you and then the elevator gets stuck and you're there for half an hour Yeah, guys guys is yours would be the same thing the small talk and hugs right? but the mom and they would still talk to you. And then the elevator gets stuck and you're there for half an hour. Yeah.

Guys, guys, this years it would be the same thing, the small talk and hugs, right? Yeah. You have to be in a room full of people you don't know who wanna hug you. I had to hug someone yesterday. How did I go? It was awkward.

But are you a germaphobe? No, I'm just like a weirdo about like touching. You hug fans, right? Yeah. I'm gonna go sit on your face. No, don't, please. I'm also a germaphobe. I don't want to back off from that.

I'm a germaphobe, but that has nothing to do with the hug. So what happened when your pimple erupted this morning? Did you feel like this is when the plague starts? This is my my boo boast that's exploding and I wasn't as worried about it because I was in the shower with soap. So I was able to clean it right away. It's a full image of your painting for it. Go on the wall or anything. It did not go that far. No, but it did spray out a little bit. So I said the fill pollution on something here. So Gus has a weird thing too, where he has the world's worst superpower, where he is corrosive over a very long period far. No, but it did spray out a little bit. So I can feel affiliation on something here. So Gus has a weird thing to where he has the world's worst superpower, where he is

corrosive, over a very long period of time, like his, he'll get a Mac laptop that's metal and he'll palms will eat through the metal here. Like you can show you his laptops. Yeah, so like, especially if I'm playing like World of Warcraft or an animal, where I can sit for a long time. Yeah, so your palms, yeah, over the course of a year, there'll just be like tiny pock marks all over the pop. Like it's going through through the metal so like when you pop a zit. Is it like that scene in Alien when The falls of the ship. Yeah, go down to the foundation of your house. It's going down to the Earth's core right now

That's really interesting to your pH balance is like crazy acidic. There must be yeah We think that if he was jailed he could just hold the buzzer time and eventually If you my wife hates this, but if you, if you look at like our bed sheets, you can tell what side of the bed I sleep on. Oh, Christ. Because it's just like slowly, partially eaten away. What? Yeah, it's awful.

It's awful. Yeah. So if you were in a hammock for a long time, you'd eventually fall through. I don't know, maybe. I feel like it would be a really long time. I feel like it would be a super power. Like you would be resistant to germs because you're so acidic nothing can live inside you. I can't wait for the sequel of Fantastic

5 with acid skin man. Slightly. It's not enough to do anything. It's over time. Don't worry guys I'll get us out of this jail sale. Give me three years. Yeah your pH balance is like 6.8. It's just slightly acidic. Also it it would be fantastic, 4.5. I don't know if I give you a full gig for that power. I have my B. General C for you, like the assistant. Have you seen the Great Lakes Adventures? Those are the squirrel girls in there, and Big Bertha.

No, I haven't seen that. That's a fun, I wish they'd make that, because they have really bad powers, that it's really funny. They have small spin-offs in the Marvel Universe. Those are the ones that I would go see would go to the i would go see squirrel girl would you be squirrel girl i want to be squirrel girl i told the head of marvel tv like a a panel i was like make me squirrel girl i feel like you know so i mean i do have

buck teeth in a way that i would be appropriate cast man right casting let's just be honest i know what is so i'm not a big i'm not a big comic span you know i'm i think it's something that i missed when i was younger what is so I'm not a big I'm not a big comics fan You know, I'm I did something that I missed when I was younger. What is squirrel girls power? She could call squirrels So she's like aqua man's boat with just squirrels. Yep. It's not a good power. It's a pretty popular comic, too I know I haven't rebooted it. I haven't read it yet I have all you know click like when with that I guess if you're writing a nut factory that'd be really helpful. That's a whole point. She's useless Right. Yeah, I feel like a lot of powers are useless

but you can apply them creatively. It's great. So I guess it's stretching. It's just the idea of there's all kinds of this gamut of superpowers, some which are really awesome. And then some which. This would be the subgroup of not awesome. I mean, in the Marvel Universe.

I don't know, I don't know comics. I'm probably people are yelling at me right now. I don't care, I'm sorry. But I do know about the great looks of it. One thing about the podcast is that people will talk to in real time on social media about it. Like they're like Bernie, no, that happened in issue like 530. It's like, what are you talking about? I'm just listening to the podcast. You guys, you're talking about Iron Man where he, you know, defeated

the Mandarin and that that was not issue 300 or issue 530. I said, I talked about that a year and a half ago. That's like they're talking to me like in real time. Yeah. Because they're listening to it. So yeah, somebody all of a sudden next week would go like, ah, you're inaccurate. You're not. Every rodent, it's not just squirrels. I am, I can get sleep last night.

So I was trying to find some videos that were kind of peaceful. I ended up watching your 20 minute compilation of chiropractic adjustments. That's, that's to me, that's the one I like. People just pop in backs and like, yep, snap in next. And the noise is, and like the groans afterwards, it's just like, that's to me. That's the one I like people just popping back and like yep snap in next and the noises and like the groans afterwards It's just that'll put me to sleep in two seconds. Are you kid is that ASMR? I mean is that a subgroup of ASMR? I think it is I would watch that but it's just like And they're like oh Sounds like it feels so good. Yeah Gavin. I this is really cool where Gavin, I watched this video of this guy in India,

and apparently when you get a haircut in India, they also give you a head massage. And this guy got a head massage in his core. This is more than that. He's like doing spiritual stuff. He's like pulling energy down, like flying in shit. Cosmic energy pulling it out of the universe and doing it.

But like that video has eight million views for that one video, the guy recorded that. And then now there's been 13 other installments of this web series, but it's all made by different people they all go find this guy in India And they all get record themselves getting their head massage by this guy and this web series has like 50 million views, but it's like eight different people that have worked on it or 13 now different on the same channel No, different channel making it sound like it's like they will know each other It's really just people going to see this guy, but they name it like part 12 part 13. Oh, they do yeah, they do world's greatest head massage part 13 People have ever argued about which part. It's like no, I've got 13. It's true. The simultaneous upload is like no

Yeah, it goes down. Yeah, they all they're like really end up in the waiting room with somebody also the video camera like I still feel like the original is the best one there because he really did stop So pandering towards the camera towards the end. So I'm kidding. He go like yeah 15 now oh wow January 10th 2015 there might be one later is it all guys or the winner their hair to or no this guy's and girls Here we go. So he's like You might see him do some like I don't know which one this is I guess good Which one is this what's he doing 16 16 So this is part of a haircut. Yeah, yeah, they do like a full upper body

I would hate this no, I don't like it at all. I just want like I hate enough when they have to like Adjust me or touch me like I just want when I go to get my nails done I'm like I want them painted. I do not and anything else done do not massage me do not put like Lotion, but it's not feel good to you. Like when you just get like a little bit of like oh bit pressure at least No, when people touch my fingers. I want to poke them in the eye kind of like it's too. I like There's like a recent thing where like now is like some bombers will have like a little shoulder massage You know that they think they're strapped in the back of the hand. I don't want that And I was like I don't know how to communicate like I'd be like no no it's the hair the hair That's it. Just tell them that. Yeah, I mean people always go too far with you people trim your eyebrows at your haircuts Yeah, wait what yeah, like there's one on this one place. I had to stop going to because like I'll have my eyes closed

Cuz they'll be like cutting my bangs and then the next guy know I feel like a comb on my eyebrows I would like that's weird and it's like snips it like how fuck they're trimming my eyebrows But that's good thing you need to keep those trims You don't want to be that guy with like like that's weird and it's like snips it like how fuck the they're chewing my eyebrows but that's good thing you need to keep those trips you don't want to be that guy with like ask that's true yeah but you he also has things to where he's super awkward and won't correct anybody either so I do the same thing I'll just let people do whatever and I'll be like I feel violated but I'm letting you just be quietly few minutes yeah don't come my beautiful hand on your leg how do you how do you stop someone after they've already made the first

cut on your eyebrow it's like you stop someone after they've already made the first cut on your eyebrow? It's like you're fucked at that point. You got to let them finish. You just immediately when they touch your eyebrow go, no, don't do that. I didn't know what was going on. Yeah, but he also did a thing like Gus got in a situation one time where he rented a storage unit and he sat there. They made him get on Yelp and make a Yelp account and then rape them up.

What? And you went along with the whole thing. He's so passive aggressive. He went home and was like, no one star. So, no, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what,

what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, I'm like, okay, so then I left, then I immediately deleted it, but then I had to come back the next day, and they're like, oh, I was looking for your review last night, I couldn't find it anymore, what happened? I was like, mother fuck, I have to do it again. I had to do it again. Ugh, awful. Yeah, so. I always do that when I go,

I have the same exact problem. I, and I've been trying to train myself to just say, okay, you don't want that, because when you go get a facial as a lady, they always try to upsell you, kind of like you're buying a car. It's like, no, you wantrasion you want the oxygen you want the special serum peel and I'll go like I'm naked under the sheet I guess do whatever You already have my wallet to the court. Yeah, it's in the locker. I can't do anything go ahead

Oxygen my face which makes no scientific sense that oxygen on my skin would make it any better So so ever get it facial. That's what I will lie. So in those situations where you're quietly livid, do you tip still? Um, tip that, yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. I did. I can't, I, even if I'm like, because I'm the same way, like I will never say anything. And I, I still can't tip nothing. I've never done that because I just feel weird. You've become so Americanized. I thought in the UK you don't tip though.

You still tip at restaurants. You don't tip for like a coffee or something. What about like a Bellman? Oh, I saw a thing where did a day, you know, you travel out of the Austin Airport sometimes, I assume they have the Schlotzki's there, which is an Austin Chi, that went out to the rest of the world.

They have kiosks where you just order your sandwich there and you get exactly what you want. You just punch in, nobody takes your order, you do it with to the rest of the world. They have kiosks where you just order your sandwich. There, and you get exactly what you want. You just punch in. Nobody takes your order. You do it with a computer, which I love. I think that's great. Yeah. Because then I don't have to like, I can like,

sometimes it'd be like, I don't want tomatoes, but I don't want to be a hassle either. So I just order the regular sandwich and pick off the tomatoes. Sometimes I'll do that. But with a kiosk, you do whatever you want to. Last time I was at the airport, I was at the kiosk. There was a tip cup on top of it.

This is tips. I'm like, what is this? Wait, what? Yeah wait? What yeah? That is the only human evidence around was the fact there was a tip cup right there When you're tipping the kiosk, yeah, they split it evenly across the the kiosk Some dude who was flying out later that day, so I was gonna put this tip jar up here and then Someone make in the sandwich. Maybe it's for them. Yes. That's exactly right But then put that where you pick up the sandwich

Exactly that makes way more sense. Why would you tip for them. Yes, that's exactly right. But then put that where you pick up the sandwich. Does that make more sense? Exactly, that makes way more sense. Why would you tip a machine? Yeah, there's a person there, it's delivering the sandwich. Well, that's a sentient machine. You put a battery in it. Like, when you get a stick,

here's a couple of gigs, where you put it, I hope you make it through. Like tipping in a bar was new to me. You would, I would never do that in England. I'll order the price. You don't tip in a bar? No, no, Jesus.

What about a bar tender, that's their whole point? No, you didn't do that Can I let you know that's where they're always hot? I mean have you been to the UK? I don't know anybody with an accent is automatically hotter to me. What is what is that? What what is that police? It's just I don't know. It's my lady genetics. It's a female thing for sure Right, I don't want to paint the whole gender We're not I mean we're just talking I it yeah we do they're also into uh... women

with a friend's woman who came up with a a bernie would you like me to take me to dinner that would get out of the loop but that would be like that would be like an automatic trigger it seems like it's an automatic trigger there's a we will have people come in from our jacks one of these guys uh... that we know from new zeland he worked on our our on our lord of the ring series that we did. Nick.

And you would like that series, actually. It was more of a reality one, but the guys walked from the set of the Shire where they filmed it to where they did Mordor. They carried a ring. So they marched all over across New Zealand. Took him like six days. They almost died.

These guys were not in good shape. Anyway, Nick, their guide came up and he's been coming up. And I was, he's been living in the UK and I asked him, him does the key we accent does it like help you as much in the UK? So it does an America you guys nope just America He goes like a superpower in America. Yeah, it's different combinations of stuff to like for example The American accent I find very attractive in women, but when I do this talking American it's like Chill out. See that's why I have a visceral reaction to it. But I do it.

It's because I didn't start traveling internationally until we started doing red versus blue. Fortunately, when red versus blue was popular, was when we had a very unpopular president in office, globally. So everywhere I went as an American dude traveling internationally, it wasn't like, oh, you're American, it wasn't like World War II,

you know, it's a soldier. It's like, no one canadian. Yeah, it's like like all he wanted to talk to me about bush and the war and everything else and it was like and I get it but it was like traveling as an American I didn't have that accent superpower everywhere I don't know why everyone hated him so much because he was so funny funny I don't know I think he was great at dodging shoes and all that stuff. I forgot about that. It's entertaining. Well, then you're probably a Trump supporter.

I stopped in... I'm a little bit of a Trump supporter. Why? Because it's entertaining. We don't need that. He's filth. Allegedly. Just not to get overly political. I'm probably not going to vote Republican anyway. I mean, I'm not going to. So it doesn't really manage to me what the other candidate is. But if Trump

is elected or nominated, I can't imagine that Trump would be elected. But if Trump got elected, that would be really like electing sexism and racism. It just doesn't seem like it doesn't seem like a real thing to me. It's a performance. It's like performance art. It's kind of like Ed Norton or wait, Shilah Booth when he's like in a bubble and time. Because even how much promotion he's getting, how much can it possibly cost him? He's actually raising money during the process. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's a lot of people run for president just to raise their speaking prices. That makes sense. Oh, yeah. What is it? It's a ton of free publicity on every major news network.

And it doesn't cost him anything. And that's kind of what he lives off of, right? It's interesting. Yeah. I'm not about the speaking angle. The speaking fee is angle. Yeah. What do you think Donald Trump is doing

speaking engagements? This is we never know. G-Severing Summit. Yeah. We can have fun. Can we get him for our TX next year? Oh my God. He's the only dude I've ever heard of.

He built a hotel in Las Vegas that doesn't have a casino. Explain that to me. How do you build a hotel in Las Vegas? You don't like it. No, that big gold tower has no casino in it. It's like a big tower, pimps. Yeah. Yeah, and you gotta go somewhere else.

And it's far from casinos. Well, it's like on the north end of the strip. The closer one I think is the win. And even that's like kind of walkable. The win is far. Yeah, and the win is far. Very purple, very regal. Not as far as circus circus.

Not circus circus. Circus like right in the middle. No, circus circus is way of his past with the win. X-Calibur's my favorite. Is it really? It's just so bad. I was at X-Calibur. It was the only place that was still at reservations.

I was at Y2K for New Year's. I went to Vegas because I figured if everything was going to shut down, I wanted to be in Las Vegas on the strip. The only place I could get a room with Excalibur. The first time I ever went to Vegas, Bernie took me. We decided to walk. We started at the wind and we walked all the way down the strip. We stopped every two. That's really far. And yeah, it was a long, I took hours and hours. I mean, it took forever.

It was like a day, basically. I had new shoes too, new dress shoes, rookie mistake. Yeah, we got, I ate through the back of my heels. By the time we got down to where like Excalibur is, we were really drunk. And we decided that if we looked at the wizard on top of Excalibur, it was bad luck. I do remember this. I do remember that. You say it. We had these little drinksters. If we looked at the wizard on top of ex caliber, it was bad luck

These little like drinksters and you have to look at him and say So Tell you that so every time I see him now I still think There was a crazy milestone that I hit on social media. Something I'd never seen on social media before. It was Phil DeFranco that posted it. Yeah, we say about like on social media how it's just, do people cherry picking, it's basically like a long narrative people are writing about their own life, where they,

you know, the stuff they put up is like all the best things about their life, or the other way, people, some people only put up the worst things in their life. And their whole life is like, they were writing this as a tragic narrative. But Phil DeFranco is the first person I've ever seen on social media, kind of just proved my theory. He wrote on Twitter that he lost money in Vegas, and now he said, you can tell a lot about social media, by the fact that nobody ever loses money in Vegas on social media. Everybody's a huge winner, or everybody always makes a ton of money.

And now that's the case, lots of Vegas would not have those big buildings. Right. You know, but everybody's a big winner on social media. They all leave Vegas up like $1,400 or something like that. You know, until the Frank goes like, I just lost a ton of money in Vegas this week. Oh well, they'll be deal. Well, someone I think I might have been you, Bernie. Someone in the past two years, I think like recontextualized all the Vegas for me. Like I love going there. It's beautiful, all these giant buildings. And whoever I was with, and again, I think it was you said, it's really crazy to look at all these giant buildings. Whoever I was with, and again, I think it was you, said,

it's really crazy to look at all these buildings and think every person you see here is paying for this. All of this is built on the loss of everyone else who's coming here. I've never been able to look at Vegas the same way against Sense-Them. I don't like Vegas particularly. I always lose exactly $40 on Kitty Glitter, which is a specific slot that I always look for. And it's a kitten.

And it's a Kitty blind glitter for your cat. No, no. But the only place you can get it. Yes, and that gets out alone. It's a slot machine called Kitty Glitter. And I put 40 bucks in, always lose it immediately, and then I go see a Cirque du Soleil Show and buy like a $50 steak. And that is my Vegas experience.

Yeah, every single time. Every single time. Every time you save any Vegas. Stop all the time. Stop by New York, New York, and see a rotting steak in a glass behind a glass window. I'm never getting age beef now. Oh, there's kitty glitter.

There's no fans on the uptake. Thank you. God, they're really fast back there. Is that grumpy cat? No, he's way too happy. That's just one variation. Sometimes the kitten is bigger, but it is a consistent brand across.

You know, I was attracted to the plants versus zombies, and I'm like, nope, go back to kitty glitter. Yeah, there's a ghost busser's machine that like, I normally don't like slot machines at all. I went to, we just had to go to a can for some big like TV, international TV market. We went there and then I go for an Ashley and I, we thought we're here. Let's just get in a car and spend a week and drive around. You know, so we went into Italy and then we went to a Monty Carlo, which is like right there in southern France. It's like, yeah, dude, that is like, you know, per capita,

the highest dollar per person in the world, you know, I mean, it's just like ridiculous. So we went to the famous casino in Monty Carlo and I was thinking, oh, this one James Bond did Baccarat, you know, what he mean? And it's like, it's going to be really cool and awesome. We got all dressed up and went it was all fucking it was all machines like that the whole thing It was it was like this like centuries old building and then people playing Kidding It was so disappointing. It's really disappointed. You see Cropie the Daniel Cray Yeah, that was the first one his first movie. No never been hotter really yeah

Just one of the best movies really you're just you've never been hotter really yeah just one of the best movies really you're just never been hotter he's not even well you know I just I'm not a big fan of him as James Bond really I came from the class he's he's okay I mean I'm sorry Pierce Bros then but I was obsessed with the kids he's said I wouldn't say that he's definitive bond but he's my definitive bond it's kind of like you have your who. He's I'm tenant is my definitive who. Yeah, I agree with you. Yeah, but so it's just a generational thing. Yeah, he, uh, I'm probably one of the only people in the world that Roger Moore is my favorite. Really? Yeah, because he was born. I knew. Yeah, he was all the bond stuff that I saw. You're a formative bond.

Yeah. Yeah. His presence. I'm. Moody raker. Come on. I'm a lesbian fan. George Laysenby I think you are Yeah, the Australian model who was bond once. Oh, we're kidding. Who's yours? Yeah, piss, bros. Jim. It's Dalton just cuz it was like I got into I think gold Now is the first bond movie. Don't nice really. Well, they're Sean Conor runs up. They're pretty like campy But they're pretty good. He's can't but I like that sense of camp I kind of resent it when people are like, now this is serious.

I get a little bit up aty. You know that, P.S. not P.S. president, Sean Connery wore a hair piece in every one maybe. He was bald. He was bald back then. Yeah, he had like only hair around here. Really?

The toughest head is always a wig in every one maybe. Well, that's the Jirundi for. I mean, if everybody on TV has fake hair on. Like any girl who has nice curls, those are, that's fake hair under there. Oh really? Yeah, root for everybody on TV has fake hair on like any girl who has nice girls, those are that's fake hair under there. Yeah, they're clip-ins and stuff. You can see them at the drugstore with their like expense

and versions of those in every girl's head. The professionally applied kind. Yeah. They want both CVS. Yeah, I'm going to read this whole thing. When I'm wondering, this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by me undies. 90% that's the

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But to get that 20% off, you have to go to meandys.com slash rooster teeth. That's meandys.com slash rooster teeth. I, yeah, thank you me andy's, for sponsoring the podcast. We were talking about slot machines, and it made me think about a conversation I had with someone recently. So, you know, there's this, there's this thought in Vegas now when it comes to like casinos and gambling about how they're trying to figure out how to attract younger people.

You have younger people who play, you know, video games, or like looking for a more interactive element as opposed to just, you to just static tumblers turning. That's a challenge, right? Everybody is now. Trying to figure out what young people want to get them off the internet, essentially. And I thought, wouldn't it be interesting if you had almost like five V5 setups of slot machines

where it's people planning each other, almost like MOBA style, where you have like a combination MOBA slot machine game where you're like covering different territories and competing its five other people on other slot machines looking directly at you. It's like pouring money into it. Right.

And in the end, like the casino just wins. Or even more money. Just let people go competitively play their play of MOBA. Sure. Why not do that? You're going to have a game, they have poker lounges. Now the poker's gotten so big. Why not have a gaming lounge?

You can bring your own computer lounges. Play against other people. And you know it's their machine. So you know it's gotten so big. Why not have a gaming lounge? You can bring your own computer out. Play against other people and you know it's a it's their machine So you know it's a secure environment, you know, it's fair and everything. No, there's no hacks or anything like that You guys need to open one Yeah, there's all these good ideas You think about like a sports book essentially like the sports book is just giant cubicles with little TV screens Yeah, there's already the space where you can stick fucking stick a gaming computer in there and start playing sure Yeah, you absolutely good and if it gets big enough, they just start

to you know, turn them in on TV. ESPN just the coverage of the international and it was really interesting to watch the those sports anchors talk about, uh, uh, uh, Dota 2. It was really interesting. Was it was it well commentated? Were there? Well, they had somebody they actually had the sideline reporter from it, but it was like two normal ESPN anchors, and they were talking about it. They were comparing the purse at the international to being higher than the masters, higher than Wimbledon, and higher than the Kentucky Derby,

you know, the overall purse for it. And it was two people talking back and forth, and they were doing that horrible thing when people don't know anything about the thing they're talking about, especially when it's technology, and they're just like, can you believe it that people watch other people play a video game? Oh, okay, so female reporter and a guy reporter and the guy was this old white hair dude He's like he's like it's a big deal. It's a big deal

Like he knew that he didn't know how big it was But he was like very self-aware and you can watch him like I don't want to be the clip like passed around the internet It's like no, they really like it. Just people watching other people play video game. That's really strange I guess a lot of people do it. They feel stadiums. We're really showing our age here. You're driving into the wall. We're going to be on the front page of Reddit tomorrow. Yeah, but I always think that you, it's like with video games

and like eSports and everything else. It's like we have now the international and those big things and those are in stadiums and then of course there's a lot of stuff over in Asia that's huge like that. But like most of the e-sports stuff are not those big events. Most of them are like hotel ball rooms. You know what I mean?

They're still at that level. And it's like in show by that. Well the ball, the ball, the entry is high. Like you know, I'm gonna blue come for like, you know, seven, eight years now. And you know, I'll stop and I'll watch some wow because I know that. Like I played wow so much that I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm following this. But as far as

StarCraft goes, like, I know the game, I played a little bit, but I'm not an expert enough to, you know, the bar to entry to be an active spectator is hard. I mean, especially with, you know, Dota and stuff, I just started playing a lot of hears of the storm because my brothers really into it. Now I'm like, oh, Iota and stuff, I just started playing a lot of Heroes of the Storm because my brother's really into it. Now I'm like, oh, I get this game, but it took like a couple of weeks before I was even semi-competent, which I'm not even claiming I'm semi-content now,

but at least now I have the vocab, and it's hard to get in. It would be fun to be able to sit there and watch my brother went for a week to the international, but I really wouldn't know where to start to appreciate to appreciate the the the level even as a spectator right yes i think of golf i grew up when there was golf on tv every week and like who's watching golf exactly i would go past it i think it's unbelievable i played golf twice and

immediately i found myself watching golf on tv you watch golf on tv no i found myself doing it i wouldn't say that i wasn't i never know how do they track the bull that's what the government is they they can't be zoomed in the bulls like this big on the screen yep it's got to be some kind of software right there's no way like it could be like a human can do that it's amazing Track the bull. Like how the government is amazing. They zoom in the bulls like this big on the screen. Yep. It's gotta be some kind of software, right? There's no way like, it's gonna be like a human can do that. It's amazing.

Yeah, this is like on the floor then. Whoop. Never leaves the frame. You're a genius. I just don't publicize whatever sensor they have. Did you do that? Right. It's probably just like,

bring it and like so the camera goes to them. It's only just have a chip in the bull. You can't, it's got to be some kind of detection of like the color of the ball. I don't know, I don't know. I can't. You can't do it when you're out there. somebody hits a drive like there'll be four people going Is that it? Is that it like you're like it's harder and you mentioned having one of those big-ass TV cameras doing it so possible

You mentioned Blizzcon did you see I think yesterday the day before they announced what the Blizzcon pet for this year is? Was it the moose or somebody else what was it illidan murky? Yeah, what yeah, so it's like all right. I'm getting I'm getting a virtual ticket or I'm going or something I'm gonna go you gotta go I only I've only ever I went to the first one and I haven't been another one since then how big is it now? It's it's pretty big. It's pretty great. Yeah, I've only missed I missed last year I think because I was working on super natural or something, but I've you know I was out there handing out bookmarks in 2007

of trying to get people to watch the guild. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I wondered about, as I was writing about it in my book, I was like having a flashback to trying to like, hey, would you like to see this? No, no, okay. No, you guys had a huge panel like a couple of years later there, didn't you?

Oh, yeah, yeah, they've been really great supporters. They were great supporters of the show when it was on. And, you know, just me on the go down a tour and just helping us, setting up booths for us to, like, kind of, you know, sign and stuff like that. Which, which, which con did you show that, do you want to date my avatar video? That was it Comic Con 2008, I think, or nine?

I'm not sure. I remember that was like, that was like the huge thing. Yeah, it's a glass cover. I didn't go to that convention, sure. I remember that was like the huge thing. Yeah, it's a glass cover. I didn't go to that convention, but. Yeah, it was Comic Con. We dressed in the outfits and we were like, Ta-da! Yeah, it was pretty cool.

I watched the video and then I watched the audience reaction video. We'll just like from someone filming in the audience. They went ape. Yeah, it was crazy. And they wouldn't give us a big enough room so that we were in a room like with 500 people And we asked to upgrade because we're like we definitely will fill

They had like a thousand people outside trying to get in and that the next year We got upgraded the indigo which we've been in for the last you know set six years Well, it's so frustrating about Comic-Con you have to cause like a traffic jam before they pay attention to you Yeah, you know It's basically the way Comic-Con works is you have to upset a bunch of people before they do anything. Like that's the only way they move our booth, remember? Well I think it's you know digital is like where the outside are people and we got to show people that we have a lot. I think it's changing now a lot. I don't know we were at VidCon and like the phenomenon of you know these the especially

vloggers and like homegrown people like having millions of followers. Yeah. Is now finally the Hollywood boat is like, what? What? Interest day. Yeah, slow turn. Sometimes it feels like just sprinting in this direction and sometimes it was a guy from a major network

that I talked to, he goes, yeah, I'm just, my first year of VidCon, he goes, I'm here, I'm trying to figure out, you know, I'm trying to figure all this stuff out. I was like, figure all this stuff out. Yeah, you're way way. And she doesn't play this. Yeah, six of those.

I mean, if, like, being in a building, it's on a fire and be like, I'm gonna read about fire on with you. That's all about. If it was the biggest like telling sign for me this year at San Diego Comic Con, I haven't been to San Diego Comic Con for five years. This was the first time I'd been since 2010 and we, I'm out there in our booth and I look up and there's this old faded ass sign above our booth that says web comics.

And I look around, I'm like, there are no web comics here. Like it's like us and mega 64 and like other online content creators. Like why the fuck is this sign here? Like it's still like playing capture. Well most people are just moving. I mean, I had a booth there for four years and eventually we just got stomped on by like the Warner Brothers booth or whatever and we just let our lease go. And now the-

That's the valuable real estate. Huge real estate because this grandfather didn't. You're basically automatically getting the booths. So it's hard to get booths, but all the indie people are just leaving because I can't sell anything because people are there for Hasbro and to get free bags and stuff.

So this year we were, you know, legendary owns my company now. And so we were at the stadium and had a huge off-site event with Nerdist at the stadium. That was awesome. Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. Yeah, at Peco Park. So that was a huge offside event with Nerdist at the stadium. That was awesome. Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. Yeah, at Peco Park. So that was a huge upgrade. But it kind of made me staff of the days where you could actually be an indie artist on the

floor. And that's just not what that con is anymore. It's all big companies. And you know, it's places like Dragon Con that could still support those RPG makers and the artists and stuff, which is still I love that con too. So Penny Arcade was didn't have a booth this year, which for the first time in the year. I think last year after San Diego Comic-Con they announced that that was their last one. Yeah.

And then I immediately emailed him and was like, give me your booth. Yeah, that's really smart. Signed it over. Well, they have their own cons that are so huge. Yeah, which is, it's kind of the best thing about it is they don't have to travel as much. Yeah, and I still get to be to your con. I was not able to do it last last week. Well, you should definitely come next year.

Next year, I will definitely be there. Actually, we're doing, do you get onto Australia much? I know you're still mentioning it on for supernova and stuff. I've been once. I need to, I get invited a lot. It's just hard to take the time out. When are you guys having an event there? We're doing RTX in Australia in January.

January 23rd and 24th. Sydney, the Australia Technology Park, buy your tickets now, RTXAU.com. Yeah. Yeah, let me think about it. You should come down. Australia is fun. 23rd and 24th Sydney the Australia Technology Park by your tickets now rtxau.com You should come down. I'll show you. It's fun. I mean, it's like the audience is down there are really tremendous Thank you much supernova is they tended like put the Events back to back so you can go to two events in one trip Yeah, that's what I did when the one time I went it's just really hard and I've been on a book tour I will have been on book tour for six weeks

That's a lot of travel. weeks. That's a lot of travel. Yeah, it's a lot of travel. So I kind of need to actually make more stuff for a while. Man, I have always been a reader my whole life, but I haven't had much time to read recently. And I just got cut up on the Martian. Have you read the Martian? I tell my Kindle, and I need to read it.

As a math major, you will love it. I just finished it finally. Oh my god, it's so good. Yeah, it's really good The new Neil Stevenson book is amazing about the moon blowing up and like what happens after that? Yeah, unbelievable. So that's the book. I'm trying to finish it right now. Well, it's off to the moon place You gotta read the book. I'm not gonna tell you the long line. I love Neil Stevenson But I feel like I know I haven't I've even heard about this one yet But yeah, I feel like over time his books have just been like getting large or enlarged.

Like is this like a two-parter? Like you legally can't carry one. Like the book is one with me. You can't fit in your carry on. Yeah, no, the Baroque cycle is one. I just could not get through. But everything else he writes is for the one-offs. I just like, I appreciate a guy who's like,

this is not a Nate Parter. Let's just get it done. Yeah, and I always appreciate somebody who starts something. They don't have the like the, whatever the fascination is with the trilogy in our culture. Oh yeah. Where everything has to be a trilogy. Or a trilogy into a four movie deal.

Yeah, exactly. Anybody, like they, you know, they'll turn it into like the third one they break it up into two books. That's a new thing now. That's the new version of the trilogy. I'm just always like somebody who does, even like a two-part thing is amazing to me. It's just like, why?

You did two parts and you were able to tell something and, you know, just two stories. You didn't have to break it out into three. But I'm reading right now. I just finished the Martian and I just started reading Gary widows book and then I'm gonna read your book after that Do you know Gary? Do you know him? Yeah, he's amazing follow. I was a huge fan of book of Eli when that movie came out and I was like Just like crawling about on the podcast. Well, he's a gamer. Yeah, like he started as a video game writer

Which I think is really awesome. He's one of the people I only know through social media. Oh social media friend. Yeah, so it's a copy of his book And I kind of like I was just so busy I hadn't got I couldn't I said I hadn't gotten to it I hadn't read it and then the book came out and I was like I started reading at the day it came out You know because I was like I realized how far behind I was on it So it's hard when you know a lot of authors. I have like arts getting trying to get blurbs for my book I'd be say hey and then they automatically send their book back so it's like oh gosh I need to read about 10 books which all of them are great because all the authors are amazing that it almost feels like you you have to keep up with the media or just piles up around

you like here's my steam library and here's the list of books my friends have made and here the ones I you know I don't know but I want to read it. You can read books while you look at loading screens and if we're playing steam games. Exactly. Yeah, you know who's not like that? You do have people with artists that you know that do things. The one group of people and I kind of appreciate this that's not like that are online video people, YouTube people for lack of a better term. It's like you'll be you'll meet somebody at a party and you're like, oh, hey, so and so Tom Scott It's like I'm you know, I'm familiar. I saw the ASDF movies. I make all this other stuff to it's like I've never seen that I guess I don't care

It's like literally it's like when people tell me like oh, I don't ever watch your stuff I go of course you don't it's like there's so much stuff to watch out there It doesn't offend me at all when someone doesn't watch something that we do either way. I don't know personally Tom scus other stuff is really funny It is really fun. I just watched some of his shorts that he did about he did a short about like a gambling thing that went wrong and it was really really funny I met you meet him and he is not actually like he doesn't animate ASDF He gets in there right in those voices. Yeah And I watch the thing with Tom scus it's interesting is

His vlog is really interesting because it's like, it seems to be the pattern is that he makes a vlog and then makes an apology vlog immediately afterwards. Like he, I've never seen anyone make so many like concilatory apology videos ever. Does he just have a really like emotional audience? Yeah, he does have a very sensitive audience. He's also very outspoken about like bullshit that he hates on online. Oh, I see. Okay. It's really hard though. If you're making videos, you can't just make one video. No. You have to make a million videos and therefore all you're doing is consuming your own content

by making it and when do you have time to actually consume other people's content? No, it's so much. It's so much. You ever watch your own old crap though? Like, I can't watch early slimmer guy stuff. It's really weird. Really? Why not? Because of your hair? Just to throw something out there? It's funny. I just rewatched it. You can't smell yourself in a video. What's that all about? I just rewatched your champagne one yesterday.

That was like four years ago and I looked at it and it was like, Gavin looks like he's 12 and your hair was like stupid. I was right now. What? What? What? What? What? what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what'll just sit there to laugh at my own stuff. You know what I mean, but it's like that's just a weird option to have. All you do at night. You're just you go home, let's watch some of me. No, it's like it's a great thing to get out. You're gonna be better if you do something. I never, one thing I really don't like doing more than watching old stuff is I don't like watching my own stuff with an audience. What? I don't know what.

Oh, that's awkward. I don't know what. It's like having public sex. It's actually so. What? What's important? Yeah, it having public sex. I actually I like watching stuff with other people. I like watching Revas Blue with other people and a slumber guy says the same way like when you get a reaction to something that happened. Yeah. It's nice feeling like when the movie comes out I will be like right dead in the middle of that audience like watching the whole movie. You'll be there too too, Gav. So, but like when we do that for Red versus Blue, and we're watching, like, there's a screening somewhere and they show like something from 2006, you know,

like something from season one or season two. And I'll be in the audience, and I won't remember half of it, and then I'm watching it again for the first time. And it's a lot of time in the back, and they're like, going, ha ha ha ha! You know what? I had that.

Who's the jackass in the back half? Who's the jackass in the back laughing at his own material? I had that yesterday on the plane. I was like, nothing to do on the plane really bored. So I was listening to an old podcast. It was probably like maybe a hundred or so podcasts ago. And it's to the point now where I don't remember anything from my point then. And I'm on it.

And I'm like, I'm thinking about what I would say in response to other people. And I just come out with completely different stuff. That's just like my humorous difference. I have the exact same train of thought that I do when I hear myself. I do it sometimes and sometimes like if I get cut off right before I was about to say something, I know what I was going to say. I'm like, oh I should have said that. No, with me it's always exactly the same. Like I'll hear you like, oh I should have said this

and then I'll say it's like, oh okay. That's exactly what I do. See for me it's depressing because I think of something funny to say in response to something that you said two years ago and the old version of me said something way funny. I'm like, man, I'm not as funny. It's weird. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. We're almost to seven years in for doing the podcast. It's weird to have an audio history, basically, of a large portion of your life, to go back

and the people listen to and they'll bring stuff up. Oh, yeah, I lived through that. I talked about all this stuff, buying that old shitty house and fixing it. There's just a living record now of all of these things that we went through. I was 21 when I was first on this podcast. Oh my gosh. And now he's 50. 50. Yeah. The other thing too is we get held accountable for opinions we had seven years ago. It's like your part tastes change over time. I mean, that's the thing about the internet. You can never outrun who you used to be.

Yeah. Like, oh, yeah. Well, five years ago, you said that. And I, and you can't be like, well, five years ago, me as an idiot. Well, that's why I'm amazed that you would like throw out your handle from the ultimate dragons news group. Because it's like, real good. Go back.

I'm sure people have gone back. Oh, they've sifted through everything. It's a dirty laundry to either probably use it against me real good back. I'm sure people have gone back. Oh, they've sifted through every piece of dirty laundry to either Probably use it against me in some way. So how how much time needs to pass before that? So valid excuse like oh, I was a long time ago like it's like five years Been every second you should be progressing as an individual every minute So even a year later you can have a different opinion about something. I don't I do yeah, so I do hear a safe I don't know six months. I don't think there's any you I don't think you ever escape it. You're

always you like you look at politicians and it's always like oh look at this shit you voted on 25 years ago you voted this way it's like it does the world was different not only will you different like the surroundings were different too. Yeah but it doesn't matter when you did it. It matters when people find out about it because it's new to them when they find out about it. Remember when I went to that thing where I was casting a movie and there was a Vine Star that was in the movie as well? And then it came out to me and my audience, it came out that this guy when he was 15,

like three years ago, made a really horrible Vine. It was awful, it was a horrible homophobic Vine. It was really terrible. But our audience was like upset with me about it. I was like, I didn't know, I'm fine about this. It's just a you guys are fine about it. It's like, I didn't know, I'm fine and I'm about, there's just a huge fine about it. It's like this happened three years ago when the kid was 15, first of all.

Why can't you retcon that script you wrote? Yeah, right. I don't think when they gave me the list of people that they were gonna be, it's like, oh, there's this person, oh, this made a whole new book mark. I look into all of them and make sure there's nothing offensive. Yeah, but I mean, I took it really seriously.

But I also, I mean, that kid had done a full, a full like two-page apology on the front page of Huffington Post addressing it. I think I remember that. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of Vine stars who have to apologize to some reason. Yeah, it's amazing how much I can get in six seconds. That's the one. Let's anyone ever unite and go, we accept his apology.

I've never seen that happen. Oh, yeah. You might as well just call it a day and I apologize for things on a couple of times I said something and I bid it. I'm like oh wow that was not cool. And I had everyone be like that apology was good enough. That's the tough phrase it incorrectly. And then I'm like I don't know what more I can do. I can only just not do that in the future. Yeah, there is a certain portion of a very vocal minority than when they hear an apology, that's when they really smell blood.

And it's like, oh no, not good enough. I need you to do this. It was like engaging trolls. Like there's just no winning. There's emotional trolls. Yeah, emotional trolls. Yeah, that's the also, it also doesn't work to completely ignore it.

Like it's what Sam Pepper did, what theid where the hell well, where is he? And well, well, he's was criminal allegations wasn't it? Yeah, but he'd like never even mentioned it. Yeah, I can't do that either Touching I'm grateful that I grew up in a time where every dumb thing I did between like 13 and 17 and probably beyond That all that stuff wasn't recorded and now people are going to the effort to self-document all that stuff and put it up. It's just like, you know. Well, there's that whole European thing. You have the right to forget kind of thing where they have to wipe you off the internet. Yeah.

Like, there's a good thing. Yeah, cool. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like, there's a law that says, if I want to delete my account, you can't like just make it invisible. You have to get rid of my. Yeah, you have to make it not searchable.

Right. Like, people have the right to be Yeah, you have to make it not searchable. People have the right to be like, I don't want anybody to search my name and find anything about me or my past or anything. And they have that right in Europe. So that's not net neutrality, right? No. No, that's not the same thing. No, but not me, but it's not like, you're then altering the internet and like censoring

the internet. I wonder what it would be like, though, if we went the other way, and it was like, the thing about privacy is, if there's a little bit of privacy, everyone has to have privacy. But what would be like if there was, like, literally no privacy? Like, what if I could look up your medical records, Gavin, and your bank accounts, balances, and everything?

Like, there was literally no privacy of any kind, but nobody had it. I mean, that's, people would use that against you. Like, employees, insurance, you know. Right. But it that against you. Employees, insurance, you know, right. But it would be like an honest thing of like, you know, a different world. Like if you're going to date somebody, you could just look up all their medical records and everything like that, their criminal history. Like I mean, it was openly visible to everybody, but it was like that for everybody. It was like that for the president of the United

States or the CEO of Bank of America. I mean, that means you can never become a different person. That's the inherent thing. Like, you know, if you commit a crime and you've done your, you know, you pay your, you know, you do your time and you want to become a better person, you can never out, I mean, isn't that like every Western? Well, I think, a lot of times, I mean, I think currently felons, you know, complain about that.

It's like, they go, they do their time to come out and they're still all like employment applications. They still have to say, yes, you know, I've committed a felony. Yeah, it's not good there. What's that? Isn't that good? I mean it depends if the person's changed like if they're trying to make a new life if they if the system works the way it's intended Right, if they've been rehabilitated it should not matter. Mm-hmm. It all depends on your philosophy of prison Like is prison punishment or is it rehabilitation? You know, and if they do their time, they're crime. I mean, that's why you go to court.

They committed this crime. Here's your amount of time you have to spend in prison. Then the theory is that after that amount of time, then your debt is paid. Your debt to society at that point. But it's like, a lot of people, it's like, no, that just sticks with them forever. I think it's thing with that, though, it's going with like this hypothetical scenario where no one has any privacy. If someone has a felony for like, grand larceny or something like that

And they go into a job where they don't get hired because they have a felony If they could go through the company and say like like here's a career executive staff has felonies You know what I mean? It's like everybody has it. Just some people are able to hide stuff better It would be nice if people were better people, but no, they would and I mean if you had an abortion or even a sexually transmitted disease Or you know people now have the right to deny people You know birth control through there because of their religious read. I mean that would just even be bigger I think we're going into territory. We don't want on the internet. Yeah I heard this great thing today, which is I just like when people have creative solutions to problems and this may vary with people's own political beliefs

That's fine But there was a guy in Kentucky a county clerk who had a really interesting Approach to marriage and all the controversy with marriage right now. He said, religiously, I'm an atheist. So from this point forward, I'm going to refuse to marry anybody who identifies as a Christian because it's against my religious beliefs to marry Christians. And it's like, that's an extreme example of like what some people deal with. I thought that's a really creative way to approach that. And it's like, there'll be a huge furver about that guy, right? Right. A furver or a furver?

Oh, no. For a visit. I think both are apt in that example. But it's interesting to see where the lines of our freedom are drawn. Quote and quote, freedom. Well, the good thing we can debate it because we have a constitution to allow us to debate it. Yeah.

And then be dictated to. Yeah, it's interesting times to be in right now. Really interesting times. Do you hear that Colorado hit all their state budget tax numbers in May of this year? Because of the way it's just because of weed because the tax on weed. Yeah. They hit all their goals from the previous year. They hit them in May of this year.

You're not going to want to move. They're going to have the best roads ever. Oh, man. Well, it's a short. I think it's want to move there. We're going to have to put the best roads ever. Oh, man. Well, it's just short. I think it's shortly right because I think they're going to pass it here in Texas. You think so? No. I think they will.

We're on the slow first step. They approved cannabis oil for, you know, certain medical procedures, but a doctor has to prescribe it, I think, for like seizures. No, but I think it makes enough money to do it. The money will definitely drive it. Yeah, I think so. So you guys don't have income tax, right income tax right no way of property tax which is the property tax in Texas at nightmare You can like buy a house Live in it 30 years pay off your mortgage and then we're just out to pay the state like something to pay like two thousand dollars a month to live in their house

Yeah, some of the property taxes high well Austin's in a bad shape in particular because our property values have gone up so much. Oh, it's so ridiculous. It's pretty ridiculous. And the traffic here is almost as bad as L.A. Yeah, I mean, for real. Yeah, Matt lived in L.A. for 10 years and he tells me that traffic in L.A. is better than an Austin. It is because-

Because- No, because the problem here is you guys don't- Your lights are awful. Like, I will sit at a light for 30 seconds a minute and it will not change and then it'll change for 10 seconds and then no one gets through and I'm like someone needs to hire someone to coordinate someone needs to damn roundabout get roundabouts some roundabouts in in Austin some they're building one right by here it's like lights but everyone goes all the time go go go roundabout yeah have you seen the drivers around here they don't

have to be able to figure that shit out no they're fine they're on their phone texting they're texting there's gonna be cars on fire in every round about if we did that like still driving just on fire mad Max would be like a road hazard I mean on my cars in the shop right I didn't know that what happened what do you have what's that what kind of card you know I drive a Tesla and it's super heavy it doesn't you don't know this about this car, but the batteries are super, super heavy. So Ashley was at a light. I've also kind of put a ding in the bumper.

She wants to be very clear that she was not the first person to damage the car. And there's a feature on the Tesla, because it's an electric car, when you take your foot off the gas, nothing happens. It just sits there and the freak people out that it didn't move forward at all. So they actually added a feature

that they pushed out over the network They think you can update the cars in the driveway. Wow where you can turn on creep So when you take your foot off the the brake then the car will creep forward at like a mile an hour Well, this is a long story about how we lost our cat for two weeks and we were getting like all these text alert updates about the cat's collar And she got one of those text He has a Tesla collar what does it has a he has a GPS collar oh really yeah it's called tag t-a-g-g

yes that's really cute that's amazing the cat was gone for two weeks the collar is charged and lasted like three days anyway she got alert at the light they need a black box

black box that shit black box yeah but she was she just crept forward and she tapped the car in front of her but because the car is so heavy that's a lot of momentum and it like

Crushed itself bumper anyway, so it did that so I've been using Uber while the car's been finding this part is apparently like It's like digging for gold apparently you know There's trying to make so many of those cars so fast yeah, I'm trying to get one part to like well We can either give you a part or make a car or we can make a car right do you need that pot? I know it's totally cosmetics And I want to get it back, but it's a drive also a Tesla with a big crunch in the front's funny. It stands out Yeah, yeah, let me let me read the I think the point I was gonna make is I've been getting addicted to Uber like just having someone else drive me around

It's like so addicted. There's rich people know what they're doing Like oh no, I want to drive I want to be in charge of it and all the stuff. I'm just sitting in the back like. No, that's what I've been doing. I've been doing the whole book tour because I have to get so many places. It's just a cart. Well, we have a cart to take me places because it's taxis are more expensive actually. So it's really nice to be like, oh, someone's meeting you. Yeah. And then we should have. Yeah. I get to work for like six bucks. It's great. And I'm just texting all the time. We, we, a couple of years ago, I went to London for an event that we did. And the event was up on the far east side of London. He throws on the far west. So when I landed Heathrow, I got in a cab. It's like, oh, it's like an hour and a half to get where I'm going.

I got there. It was like 150 pounds or something ridiculous. Raised. It's offensive. And I was like, I'm not doing that again. But when you take the underground, because it's so much fun to go underground. Yeah, it's like much fun to go underground. Yeah, it's like living in the future. The subway station there, just awesome. That's a train every minute.

Just get on. It's the way everything should be. It was far. But on the way back, I decided I'm not gonna get in a taxi again. I'm just gonna call a car service. So I called a car service, like this brand new huge Mercedes shows up. The guy opens the door for me.

He's like, oh, you know, the Wall Street Journal and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,ater in the back seat for you and he took me back to the airport. It was like half the cost of a cab. Yeah I was like, how is it that this much nicer experience is like half the cost? Yes, today, yesterday dad and I had a car service. It was gonna pick us up and take us to the the late late show with James Corden. Oh, that go by the way. It was great Yes, we walked up to the car and the driver just went What we like what he's like now I'm picking someone up Gavin free I'm like I'm Gavin free and he's like oh, sorry. You look really casual like we just look like scummy Dude just really funny. Yeah, he was like you don't belong in my car

They did a event for Google in Manhattan where they had it was a meet and greet with a bunch of people from the audience and they would spray paint and confetti and silly string all over Gavin and Dan while they filmed in Salmo and then whoever came to the event got to leave with the clip was a really cool event that Google put on. But then I had these two idiots covered in paint and I'm trying to get them across town in Manhattan. And it was like I tried to hail one cab, and the guy was like, fuck off. You're not getting my car. So we had to walk like 40 blocks. Yes, dressed in lab coats, covered in paint.

Nobody batting an island. There's no other way. Nobody gets a shit. All right, here I'll let me get this other thing. What I'm mind everyone, this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut's cheesy bites, Pizza is back. Now with your choice of one of seven cross flavors, like Ranch or Smokehouse barbecue. Get a one topping now for 11.99 by Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut's cheesy bites pizza is back. Now with your choice of one of seven

crust flavors like ranch or smokhouse barbecue. Get a one topping now for 1199 at pizzahut.com. Thank you Gavin. Thanks again for sponsoring this podcast and for delicious cheesy bites pizza. For those of you who were at RTX hopefully you got the chance to check out their retro bites arcade. And it was really exciting. They was our first ever top line sponsor for RTX. It was Pizza Hut. So a big thanks to Pizza Hut for sponsoring the podcast and for RTX.

And for, did you see the trophy they gave away? No. The person who won the retro bites arcade tournament, the trophy they gave them was bigger than the trophy we made. Like that joke trophy. Oh yeah. It was huge. It was bigger than the contestant who won.

So that was like a 20 foot. John. Wow. It was like, I think it was like eight and a half feet tall. Where was the person from? I don't know. I have one. I think they shipped it to him.

I did. Yeah. That's pretty cool. So that's kind of like when you win a prize at like the prices right, and then you have to pay tax in that you're actually in the hole by winning something. Yeah. It's where you guys did someone.

No, no, no, it's a trophy. It's just a way to make tax on their big extra trophy. It looked like someone just ordered a crate of bowling trophies and glued the mull on top of each other. It was awesome, it was huge. So yeah, at least they shipped to them. That's nice that they're paying for that. They got all that stuff, cross money though. They can do that before that stuff.

We don't have a trophy inside. But yeah, they did a pizza for us this last year too. Like there was a Ruchit podcast pizza There was there any of that stuff at RTX? Um, the podcast pizza is currently not available. You can still order it like per secret menu Yeah, like if you know what was on it. Yeah, I know it was on it at our Our computer pizza technology at RTX they were sampling the cheesy bites. Those are good Yeah, I mean they're they're they were so good I'd like like avoid them

after a while just anywhere that had them I just avoided the place you could smell it you're like oh yeah cheesy bites they're close and you start looking for them it was awesome so she met Audible's not a sponsor this week you know they sponsored the podcast because Felicia's book is on Audible I was on the the feature audible website was on the front of it who's the narrator did you see what the Audible website was on the front of it. Who's an narrator? Did you see? What? An narrator?

And the Joss Whedon does it? Forward. Forward, which is a word I didn't know that was a different word than forward. Right. It's a word. A-R-D. A-R-D. Right.

Yeah. But forward, here's my words. And a lot of people are getting the, because I actually, when I was writing the book, I would read it aloud to be like, when I read the audiobook, I won't be like God who wrote who what asshole wrote this book yeah actually because I've read a lot of audiobooks and a lot of voiceover and things like that and sometimes somebody will write something that probably looks good on the page and is unpronounceable right so that's what I did so you know I had a lot of fun with it I do like some singing and stuff I've always been curious how long does it take to actually record like the the session did you like

did you flub it it took oh yeah he flubbed it all the time. He was back up good thing. They were here to make you good good Yeah, so yeah, it took about three and a half days to read the whole book Which is you know just two and a half pages? So it was yeah, no it was good I always get your restart chapter. I would just restart it. I'd be like that I sound like an asshole. Let me redo that. I always wonder that when when he listened to Game of Thrones or something when I sound like an asshole. Let me redo that. I always wonder that when he listened to Game of Thrones or something, when the line will come before who said it, but they read it in the voice of that character. So they must have had to read the whole thing right before and then record it.

Can you imagine doing that for your own memoirs? Because then you get to do all your friend's voices. You'll be like, oh, woo-hoo. I don't talk like that. You know, when you get people really mad at you. In 2005, I met Gavin free. I went over to England and he was like, I love that. I love that. I love that. That would be a lot of fun. Do you do any British accents in your book?

No, I don't. I don't know any British people. I know, that's why. Do you just knock out the French woman accent? I did. That's one. I want to be in the second book. You're going to be, so we're going to have to have an encounter. Yeah. Well, this is not counter, but just some kind of adventure. Maybe you guys can be in the second book. You're going to be, so we're going to have to have an encounter. We're not not kind of encounter, but just some kind of adventure.

Maybe you guys can be in a parade together. Oh, good. You can just, this is the beast. Man, handle me. Yeah, we're still being terrible happen right now, like right before, right when we end the podcast. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Like a massive explosion in China.

So, books out now. Books out now. It is, it is doing people seem to enjoy it, which is very exciting. And after a year of writing about myself, it's good to get that book out there and people are taking funny pictures with their dogs and stuff with it.

I think everyone that I follow has read it. Like, keeping tweets from like Brian Singer, or someone who's at least, who's been fancied. Some fancy people, some awesome, you just friends. And no, it's pretty cool to get, people don't know things about me that I was home-schooled. And and no, it's pretty cool to get the people

don't know things about me that I was homeschooled. And I mean, there's all these homeschool people across the country I'm meeting who are like, I was homeschooled. I'm like, I want to talk to you. Do you feel as weird as I do in life? And you know, Ultima, like things like that, people will come up and say, I'm actually a fan of Ultima. And, you know, I wrote the book because, you know, in talking about myself, in presentations,

you know, you go around and do PowerPoint and all this stuff. People seem to like be inspired by what I say and like pick up a camera and shoot in your garage. Like, I want more people to do that. And just be as weird as they can because your weirdness is kind of your superpowers. And I think so the more weird I can encourage in this world is good. So you said VidCon, we had presentations like right now. Should you call a presentation there with these? The way they do keynotes at VidCon is they do like eight minute keynotes. They were 15 minutes last year, but I guess they're recognized in the attention span

of the audience is like decreasing on a regular basis. And now we're down to like seven or eight minutes. Yeah, no, wait, I had four minutes. You had four minutes? Or four or five, I mean, you know, yeah, but it was very short. You get the first. And Luis, I can't, I've learned I can't do that. I gotta have at least like 15, 20 minutes.

It's just like a keynotes. Your presentation was excellent in that truncated time See what see what's that we showed up for rehearsal She was like she's like where are you going on? I said I don't I think I'm going on either right before right after she gets Give PowerPoint. I go. Yeah, she goes no She's damn it. She gets okay. How many pages are in yours? And I was like I think I feel like for her and I said It was like 20. She's like no how many I said, it was like 20, she's like, no, how many 20? I got so insecure. Every time I saw her for the rest of the day, I was like, I just added another two pages

to my heart. Oh, and I was like, damn it, because I did mine just on a lark, because I was so nervous about it. It's all like in the PowerPoint distract people from my face, and then be like having a panic attack. The better, so I just kind of like clipped part of my way through it, and you looked, you had actual pie charts, and real logos It was a professional looking pie shots. Yeah, I just use it all the same things over and over again Just the rear just repurpose whatever we used on the last one. Use the blink tag

I'll say who's got the great technique down. It's Freddie It's like Freddie. Yeah, we're like what are you gonna do? They were her so what are you gonna do Freddie? I don't know It's like so then he gets up with the rehearsal and he like messes around a little bit and then he gets off and goes Well, I'm not gonna do for any guys? I don't know It's like so then he gets up at the rehearsal and he like mess around a little bit and then he gets off and goes Well, I'm not gonna do that So it's like three hours later. It's like then we're about to he's about to go on It's like what are you gonna do for any and he goes come up with something Do you think he's actually secretly really neurotic and like methodically plans everything or is he actually that laid back?

I don't Freddie is a very natural performer like he's got that history with all the I'm Freddie was like a professional rock band player, like a guitar hero. And I don't know, I think that comes with a certain level of performance where you're like. I think it's an extroverted person, it seems like. Gavin, let me ask you this. If I said you gotta go up in front of people

and you gotta talk for seven minutes, do you really think that you couldn't come up with seven minutes off the top of your head? I could, I would just be shitting myself from now until I finished. Oh, yeah. OK. Like my, I do poo.

You actually poo in your pants. Poo. Not necessarily. I've got some control. Where would you do it if not in your pants? I mean, yeah, where are you putting out your mouths? Because that's a weird, it's a weird superpower. I put it in a car and I just eat it to the cat.

I'm actually revolving, but not in my pants. One of the, I put somebody in the role of being, but not in my pants. One of the, I put to somebody in the audience's pants, check. I made you put to everyone's pants on the early. I would love that if somebody cut me off in traffic, I'd be like, who? Shit themselves. It's even better this girl girl. It would be better this girl girl.

If you had the ability to make people shit at a point, how often often would you use that I would do it every time I saw Donald Trump live Since having known me would you have made me poop at any point you well? I'm sitting next to you. You have to experience it right. I mean poo girl. You got to be There's no subtlety and super mirror names. It's just like poo girl the defa-catress Pretty good actually. That's the evil It's just like, Poo girl. The Devacatress. Oh, that's pretty good actually. That's the evil.

That is, that's the evil one. Wait, there's no good version of this. Well, if somebody can't poo, if they're not stipated, it would be like kind of like a Modi-Madee ad. They got. Poo girl. All right, yeah. You'd be like at the doctor's office,

like you just sit in a room and like when they have a really concentrated patient, like Poo girl. Poo girl to run to. Yeah, let me show you. Show me camera. It's a good tune in if they're feeling bad. Show me the good version.

It would be if someone just shit themselves you could put it put it back back up in their ass. Oh no that's like a reverse anima. Yeah but at least it was it's not it's not like it's a poo anima. It's taking up space that it previously took like forcing extra material. No I take it all oneself. They'll do it over time. Yeah no it'd be a good one. It compacts itself. Actually I never really thought how was the poo form inside of you. I imagine like a machine like crushing food into like little poo chunks. It's a little machine in there. Yeah, that would be cool. Sesame Street. Yeah, you know, this thing we're doing next summer or the we're gonna go to you. You have to do like 30, 40 minutes on stage for that.

What are you talking about? The thing you're just learning about it now. Also, if I don't know about it, could you tell me like the week before so I didn't worry about it for a year What is this is the thing where I got a letter from I was opening on mail one day I got a letter from Buzz Aldrin. I was like well this is cool And he does this apparently he does this Symposium every conference in the summer For kids that are interested in technology that are going on to between high school in college and for kids that are interested in technology that are going on to between high school and college and

Then they had speakers like they had Oh god, who's a guy who invented this eggway Dean Kamin? Yeah, yeah him and like a bunch of other people like that So I was supposed to do this last summer didn't do it and then I was gonna do oh So I pushed it to like next summer next event and then they want Gavin to come as well So you had to come and be very scientific I get to talk about digital media. You got to talk about like where your lab Motion and time and everything else talk about rolling shutter. I can tell what that just gonna ride down 40 minutes man Now you have eight months to think about it. Yeah, panic. I just like my heart rate So you'll be fine five minutes months for eight months. Yeah, what is it again? What is it like in the summer sometime in the

So lucky you and you obligated himself you you obligated him without any. Yeah, he's gonna. I know I clear with him. He's I remember that. Yeah. Okay. I forgot. What is the other thing to do that with my if I'm worried about something? I just lock it out. And then when the time comes near, I let it in again. Can you teach me that technique? Yeah. Because I can't just do like his goal fish. Yeah. If you don't think about it, it's just like gone. I just be like, all right. Well, it's about time to wrap wrap my problem always is when I'm when I'm doing stuff like that, it's probably what you did is like, Oh, that's in July of 2016. Sure. I'll do that. And

I say, yes. And then I think I'll have nothing on my calendar. No, no, no, no, this is a friend of mine. A couple of years ago taught me the best trick. I got to hear this. Never say yes to anything in the future that you wouldn't do that week. Yeah, okay. That's a good rule of thumb. Never. So it's never say yes to anything. Yeah, basically, never say yes.

Yeah. That doesn't work for some stuff. For example, like, I wanna go to Japan at some point, again, I wouldn't go this week, but I wanna go to Japan. If you'd have anything else to do that you would go to Japan. This week?

Yeah. No, I could have mentally prepared for like, at least 10 days. It would have to be something that you would call your willing to your it's important enough for you to carve out the time to do it as a as a number one priority. I think that's kind of the rationale. Yeah. So like if you would drop everything and do something, say yes. If it's just like, oh, this person won't leave me alone. Or you know, I mean, I get that. Just no, no is a good. I will not. Are you get it saying no?

No, you, me? No, no. Is it a hot cast or is it a show? I mean here. I'm here. Clearly. All right, what's about time to wrap up? We got to go.

All right, everybody, go buy Felicia's book. You're never weird on the internet, almost. It's on Amazon right now. Where should people go to buy it? Is there a particular place? I mean, any place is great. You can buy it at all indie game. I'm doing an indie bookstore tour currently, but you can buy it on Audible, UK, Australia. It's any English-speaking country you should have in my book. Awesome. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know. All right. Well, thanks for watching everyone. Bye everybody. Page your way. Oh yeah. Risk, risk, or... Risk, risk, risk. Do you like apples? Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way.

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