Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Complain About Sh*t Podcast - #335

Episode Date: August 4, 2015

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers will learn that an Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now now only on peacock Pop it away hey how's it going let's import drone go drone go

Go go you can make it. No, it's not always scary. I used to think it's scary now. Oh All right, there we go. Hey, they're throwing that Gavin. I got Gavin. I got for VidCon. Are you firing at me? That's some good height. I spent on you expected by the way you still jump Yeah, that's what you're talking about Bernie like jumping We should all do introductions. Hi. I'm Bernie. Hi. I'm Gavin. I'm make and I'm Ashley no Gus no Barbara Yeah, they are very very busy making RTX happen and we're just not which is somehow so fuck somehow this week How did that happen? Yeah? Yeah, and it's actually been longer than normal since the last RTX. I'll help you

Thank you. This is a twist off for you setting it for disaster It's a twist off. I just got it halfway So listen I did the hard part for you. Setting it for disaster. There you go. It's a twist off. I just got it halfway. So listen. I did a hard part for you. Right before we went live, Meg was telling a story that she has. She needs a new. What are you doing? Bernie, you're doing this wrong.

You have sponsors. Oh, hey, our sponsors this week are nature box. Peach a Hut and square space. Point over there. There we go. I got them all. So we'll be talking about them in depth later point in the podcast. I'm excited. When we started the podcast, Meg was talking about something she said, something actually does

reminds her that she needs to buy a new wet brush. No, I said, not something that I see in a hash. I'm reminded that I need to get a new wig brush. Oh, you say wig brush. Because wig brushes are actually has an extension brush, which are the same thing in there. They have metal. They're really. So you want to the same thing and they have metal teeth. They're really like corns. So you want to use this brush that you have at home? Yeah, you're actually having a power. It hurts.

That's for synthetic hair. It's like brushing your hair with a pincushion. So it's more important. More importantly, if you have a tangle in your hair, it doesn't care. It's ripping it all out. Honestly, that's probably why I've got like, I've got like short hairs up here where I get a lot of breakage. I wonder why that happens.

Yeah, probably because you're using a wig brush on your head. So it wasn't a wet brush after all? No, but wet brush is the name of the brand that I have that I use for my hair that's nicer to your hair. And I use it as a brush for your hair when it's wet. And I said no, not specifically. It's good to your hair when it's wet, but it's also for when it's dry.

How many brushes do you have? Just one. That's what I'm trying to communicate. Because I don't have a bunch of special brush, well, I guess I could like give a wing. You know what? You got me there. You have a wig brush, a wet brush. And that's it. Do you have like a daily utility brush?

That's what I'm saying, the wet brush is all you need for everyone here. I'm gonna ask you now, how many brushes do you have? None. I mean, I have a rumble. Oh, I imagine if there was one for your head that just drove over it in the morning across your pillows.

I got you going to hit the button on that thing and turn it off by the way. That will be horrible. I'll be over your head because our rumble gets stuck on about 500 things every day. Okay, I want a rumble at the recommendation of Gavin. If you could plan about the rumble, you're wrong. It's a fantastic piece of a piece of a piece of a piece of a piece of a piece of a album. You've been very defensive.

Yeah, you have to always have a house you just moved into that you've never, ever lived in, ever. Because if you've ever lived in it, you will immediately, if we get caught on shit. Come on. Really? Yeah, no issue. Look.

Gone. We had the opposite problem where we started using it. And at first, we were using the room, but and it was getting stuck on everything. It managed to wedge itself under a couch. It never went back to its dock. No. It a couch. It never went back to its dock. No, it's straight. It never went back to its dock.

You know what, you know what, it's house too big. Is that what it is? No, it's just like it gets like caught. Just trying to dig it. It gets caught on, we have animals, animals, animals. It gets caught on your animals. No, it gets caught up on their stuff. Like the cat's toys and Penny's toys.

Basically, when I lived alone, my room was fine. I used to go on many adventures per week. I never got stuck on anything because I'm not an animal. I put stuff on the floor like animals. When you live alone again, it'll never get stuck on things. How quickly do you regret the couple's podcasts immediately? Well, we're like four minutes in. Nailed it.

So Vars' brush and room two minutes. I like to keep a nice clean floor, is what I'm saying. I don't like to kick stuff. I've broken my toe at the weekend. I don't like to step on things like my little toe. How'd you break your little toe? By kicking my suitcase. And also, I like to-

Because why is a suitcase in the middle? Oh, that's funny, because you're a suitcase. And your carry-on are also downstairs. I'm just gonna sit here and drink beer. No, try it out me. Would you have more suitcases on the floor than I do? Really sorry you guys were breaking up. Me too.

But seriously, a broken toe, I guess it's broken. It went all crooked. But, um, we have to keep hanging off his foot. He just kicked it and was like, ow and then moved on with the foot. Living with somebody else though, when you have a mess around,

it doesn't matter what it is. When you make a mess, it's like, I made a mess, I gotta get that up. Somebody else makes a mess, it's like, this is disgusting. What are you doing? This is filthy. This is absolutely disgusting.

I had to go home, by the way, to fix, our house has a trash compactor. Which I have ever even seen. Well, like a baila. I've never seen one. There's so good. So they bailed the trash. You open it up, you put trash in it, you shut it,

you do a little thing where you put your foot under switch and you lift it up and it goes, mush. Yeah. You can hear it, it's like sluggish. Mush. And then we get to the bottom, it goes, like it's crushing stuff. Yeah.

We put a load of fruit in it. The kids have unloaded stuff and they're like light bulbs and everything. Eggs. Yeah, they, eggshells, but it's like it doesn't work like that for some reason. It doesn't really crush anything and just mush is it. No, it's wonderful. My parents had one when I was in high school and I love that. Well, I think the one that's in our house was bought the same year. Yeah, they were all the rage then. Yeah, because it's like super old. I had to get a fix today and

basically, there was a service calls 89 bucks for the guy to come out to work on it because this is the wonder of homeownership is that you're responsible for every little thing That goes wrong and the thing wouldn't open the the most thing inside wouldn't run anymore and the door wouldn't pull out it wouldn't open up So the guy comes out 89 bucks who walks in he looks to give I don't know gets on the phone for like two seconds Okay, I'll try that he like literally like pulls it a little bit so you can look inside of it And he reaches out in there and pushes the button and it works So this is a reset button 80 no pain bucks. I guess I'm paying for the knowledge J.D. was with me and it watched the whole thing goes you like you paid that guy 89 bucks

I can only came all the way out of your guts. He doesn't deserve any night Like I'm like I feel like I just like tell the guy pay in you. Yeah, but your kids like your chump. You have to, my kids, my kids that you haven't earned it. Yeah, so you have to value people's time. That's true. And he spent probably the same amount of time there than he would if he fixed it. Like, what? It's true.

He did use minutes on his phone calling the person who knew more than he did. To be fair, the thing about a home ownership where you're saying you have to fix every little thing, you really start to figure out as a couple how far you can go with not fixing things. We are down to me cooking in semi-darkness in the kitchen because two of our four light bulbs are out. You're denying what a mess is gonna replace. Let me say, hey, beat that system.

Here's how you beat that system. It's a little bit more expensive. You buy 100 light bulbs? No, no. We want to do that. When they go out, you buy LED bulbs, and then you'll never change those bulbs. I would love that.

I would absolutely love that. But they don't break. I don't have 10 years. They don't break bright, though. I just, I think, and on the 18th birthday, you found out it wasn't his? 18 years. Thank you.

One person. No, the thing about it is, you can tell that the people who live in this house changed all the light bulbs at the same time, because I think in the last month what like seven light bulbs have gone out. Yeah. It's been a string of light bulbs.

How much is that? Why is it expensive? There's more. Because it lasts longer. Because it lasts longer. Yeah, that's actually probably nailed it. It's probably way more expensive. It's like if you're not going to be replacing them every year, they want their money.

Yeah. They deserve it. I'm out of it. You know, like Tesla gets blocked from a lot of states for selling there is because not because of the state. It's because of the automotive dealers, the associations. That's who blocks them in Texas because they never need to have that. Yeah, they're like cronies. Because you buy them directly because one of the big things about that were auto dealerships make a lot of money. They sell a lot of cars, but then they also make a lot

of money from service. Like oil changes and stuff like that and let your cars don't need any of that That your car doesn't need an oil change. Where would the oil go Gavin? I'm just like a lubrication keep the loop up right and then for what this stuff spinning in that thing I don't know a wheel what Do you not have to loop wheels? No, I don't have a card and I don't need to stop over there. I go I don't know. Every now and then you have to stop over the next go. You're pretty much good. Everyone had to do that.

Like everyone hits a red traffic light. All the doors open, a foot comes down to the side. Flobbing on the, yeah. Spit on the axle. It'll be fine. It'll all be good. I'm all out. I'm like, I'm like, I'm a little respect.

What's that? Just spitting on it. Well, when you actually, when you go to buy a Tesla or when you go to price out one or budget one, they calculate all this stuff like your electricity, they calculate how much money you make per hour versus not sitting there like filling your car up with gas, and then oil changes figure into it as well. They pretty much figure everything they can into it to justify the cost. You're like no seriously, this is a good deal. Yeah.

You're gonna say like five this is a good deal. Yes. You. I mean, actually, you're gonna say like five minutes a week on filling up. Dude, I had to go fill up the truck the other day. I had forgotten like what the process of filling up, like it's a 22 gallons in the truck. How long it takes to do that. I was like, I was standing there like 20 minutes

filling that thing. It was probably five. You know, I've never done that before. You've never filled the car with gasoline. No, no, people have asked me to do that. I feel like it was standing there like 20 minutes feeling that thing. It was probably you know I've never done that before. You've never filled the car with gasoline. No, no. People have asked me to do it. The guy who pops out and is like, baby let me do it. I just wouldn't know what to do. I would mess it up. You know how this is like I don't know how do you know what to do.

Do you ever see the video of the guy who was filling up his car and then he decided to like jump over the hose while it was filling up and the whole thing was caught on fire? That would happen to me. I wouldn't even try me I wouldn't even try but I don't think that's a real video He was bored and tried to like Match at him at that moment. There's no way that he caused that I saw video to the day Orchmoca Frappuccino Your friends too can't not die in freak gasoline fight accidents come on Oh, Zoolander how are Oh, it's Zoolander.

How are you happy with the Zoolander 2 trailer? You're a 2 trailer, like, tear lately. I am. Well, so the Zoolander 2 trailer came out on the weekend, or I didn't know this, but apparently it was a leak. And by the way, I was really upset about this. So I was really excited. I saw the teaser.

I didn't think it'd be a better teaser, but I'm excited about the movie. Yes. And I agree with you. And if you had lots of little funny in jokes. But here's the weird thing. So I tweeted of the link that I had been shown basically. And Paramount issued a DMCA takedown on my tweet. Really?

You can't take down a tweet? Yeah, and here's the thing. It wasn't embedded. The video was not tweet taking that What's that? Paramount Paramount Kb after you've taken that to me. But here's the thing It's like the video wasn't in the tweet. It wasn't probably tweet it linked to an external website where that video was hosted You can't DM see that I think actually you can because isn't that the argument?

Sharing higher-rated material isn't that the argument behind torrent sites is that they don't actually host any of the content They just tell you where to go to get it But they've they've now made the case that linking to copyrighted material and before you start you can stop writing the email right now I'm not saying whether or not I agree with this. I'm just saying this is what's happened They use that in order to take down stuff like the pyre made then those guys just all go to prison again I don't know I don't know But then the one of them went to prison and then what I mean do you think they just like

go like Rochambo I'm sorry rock paper scissors and who gets to go to prison this week yeah like who will take the hit and then you go to Rochambo and you were in Utah? no I call it Rochambo in Australia Rochambo is that what they said? do you do rock?

is that racist? I have no idea I don't think it is I have no idea what it stands for. What it means. I've only heard like Rochambo. OK, now you can see it. If it is by the way, what's the audience? If it is racist right there.

She's so. She's so. Sorry. The inadvertent racism is always the worst. When you find out later, like you think you're totally fine. And then you find out later. Yeah. I'm just going to have to have it happen to me.

It's happened once to me. You never have an accidently racist. I think I accidentally racist a lot of times like I never I never knew the Etymology of the term GIPT he always said he says GIPT Concentration when I'm like I feel like I've been shipped and I never knew what that meant I didn't know that it was a reference to like it was about gypsies. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it's kind of offensive in it. I am like although Pretty much everything that you can possibly say is offensive.

Yeah, to someone. So this weekend, you were talking about Zoolander too, we saw the teaser trailer in the theater, we went to see Mission Impossible, and the worst thing in the world happened ever in the theater. Why have you done that? Why have you done it? How to do it with Gavin's beard by any chance. It didn't.

Who would happen, though, buddy? What are you the worst thing in the world that happened to you? How did you do that? So we went, okay, how dare you, it was really good. beer by any time. It didn't. Who would have been there, buddy? What would be the worst thing in the world that happened to be the impossible playoff picture? Okay, how dare you? It was really good. So we went to this theater where you get like a love-seat recliner. Oh, no, you were telling me about that. Yeah, I was preface the story by saying that we don't go to the Alamo anymore because it's

just full of bastards who talk. All the time. They would be very upset to hear you say that. Do you report them? Well, normally, it's not like you're all you have to read order card right stop the mood start watching the movies like right down hey the bastards behind us allowed would you feel that much better if you get the kick the fuck out though

the thing that gets me is it's with the album of the we've had the problem i've had recently is is not people talking like my gosh is not so great but well it's people talking to the damn waiter and then their waiter like also talking back, which they have to do, totally get it. But it's like somebody talking. Now, the waiters are loud. And they are.

I'm like, I'm like, I guess at the end. Do you want salsa? I'm like, I'm like, I'm moving. Yeah, well, what happened to me last time was, I went and I sat down and the guy next to me showed up late. And then the waiter was like, hey man, I'm gonna be taking care of you. If I've been here before, I was like, no.

So then the waiter to my throat was whole spiel about how you order, and the movie I'm gonna be taking care of you. If I've been here before, I was like, no. So then the waiter had to went through his whole spiel about how you order and the movie had already started. I was super happy. I wasn't at previews. Well, still, shut the hell up. I want to see what's gonna be coming out. Okay, I really like the previews as well. So we went to this place called I Pick.

It's at the domain. And it's like, I think it was $60 for two tickets. Whoa. Because you get like a love see recliner and you're not near home. You're not near anyone. We're like, all right, let's give this a shot. It was like 40, I don't think it was 60.

It was 60. Yes, it was 60. It should be in the movie. We're not going there again. So we get in there, we're all like tucked in. We're so excited. You have a blind kid and a pillow and it's like, yeah. And the movie, really?

Yeah. We got to take down the Cindy Kit. Meg. That makes it worth it. It was so lovely. Yeah, and the movie, we gotta take down the syndicate, Meg. That makes it worth it. It was so lovely. There's like a waiter who comes and gives you all your food and everything. It was wonderful.

And these two fucking guys sit down behind us and they're talking so loud before the movie starts. And we're already like, fuck. And the movie starts, they do this thing. Like, somebody like punches somebody in the face, and they're like, 99. Yeah, there's a bit where, like, something bad's happening to Tom Cruise, and the guy behind us is like, there's no dialogue, because it's like, oh God, and he's like,

she's gonna have to dive in and get him, yeah. Oh, God. And then there was like a intense moment at the end, it's all about to kick off, and there's like a moment of just like two people looking at each other, you know it's about to kick off. there's like a moment of just like two people look at each other you know it's about to kick off. That building is the silence. There's no music.

The guy behind us goes, BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM And it's like, I was, Yeah, humming the theme tune now. God damn it. So loud, like the whole theater for sure, like, and at one point, I said anything to this dude. So one point I turned around when he was like 99.

I turned around, I was like, really? Like, shut up Obviously and he still they did not give two shit. Well now had naughty. It's not your turn Raying for an order card to raise about the two cons by me and I did not have one and I miss the album 60 bucks fuck. I'm so pissed Yeah, I saw them in the parking lot and I almost yelled at them in the park like I wanted to drive by like That's it. It I wanted to drive by like, eh. That's the picture of the place. Yeah, that's it.

It's used drive over them. I thought about it. That actually used to be a bigger deal, like those kind of movie theaters. They had the gold class cinemas. They still do in Australia. Yeah, they had a different, I think they might started in Australia

and then we got them here and then they came and went, like nobody ever went to them. There is a danger with them though. I was shooting on a day I got up really early that day and then we saw the movie at 10 pm. And so what's the danger to the recliner? You're full of damselies. Well, I was just a long movie and I was just like,

oh, it's too comfortable. That sounds really pleasant. Yeah, but you know what, kept you awake, the cunt behind us. So, I'm so angry. Shout out to that guy, print. Green. Yeah, it's just like that level of furious where you want to do something,

but you also don't want to raise a fuss. I want to watch the movie. Yeah, let's somebody like it's like you want to enjoy it in spite of him trying Also, I got to be careful about getting into fights because say he punched me Then I obviously try and punch him back even though he was quite big. I'd go for a face shot, right? But then what if I get deported for that? You can't punch me. Yeah, you got a problem. Yeah, I'm gonna stay out of fights man. What you just get to worry I got this. I was the one who turned around. I was like, I got you, baby, I'll get him.

Really? But it only happens to me. That always happens, by the way. I think most fights are started by with me. Well, when I saw Train Dragon the Elemon, I was like, this is me. I've only really had this in America though. And it made me homesick watching that movie. I was like, I need to go to England for like a day,

just to watch movies. Yeah, just get out of the way. You know, I fall asleep in episode three when I want to go see it with you. I fall asleep too. Yeah, I fall asleep while watching it. Did we release good snacks at the movie? They're actually the food was really, really good.

And it's like free popcorn and everything. Yeah, it was ruined though. I do like the free popcorn. It was nice. Speaking of snacks. That comes out of the key dollars. That's how you do a segue, guys. Not I need to read this.

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And here's what I'd recommend. Have Barbara pick out your snacks, because Gus picks out the nature box when it comes, and it's like, it's all good stuff, but it's like when Barbara does it, it's every single bag is a home run. She knows how to pack it. You remember the voting system that we had

once upon a time where they were like, hey, vote on all these snacks, we're not gonna order anything you voted on. Like, we voted for all this stuff. All this stuff? You voted? No, no, no, no, no, we're not gonna order anything you voted on. Like, we voted for all this stuff. You voted, maybe. You voted? No, no, no, no, we voted for all it. First of all, I creeped on the voting so hard.

Try these. These are little pretzel balls. Honey, macadamia, pretzel pops. Where are we? Here, they're going that way. This is so good. We go to all this stuff and then it just never, like, never arrived and then we got all new stuff.

But actually, it's been really good lately. Hey, Jacob, I wanna say to my pretzel pop. 99. I want to just say 99 to this guy. Oh it's just a level of selfishness. I've never. Never. I've never, like why?

It's like people, I went on this Twitter rant like three weeks ago. Like people who laugh during scary parts of movies or emotional parts of movies. Oh yeah, that bugs me. When I just like, someone doesn't get it at all. Well, and like, the girl next to me, the whole movie she came in, she was like, I'm so high. Like, oh God, oh, I can't watch this movie, I'm so high. Can I get a drink?

She's like drinking the whole time and then she's like laughing. And the guy, it was clearly a date. And the guy was, at the end, he was like, wait, I think there's a post-credits scene for Ant-Man Ant Man she's like oh my god I really want to lift a truck and he's like not let's lift it all. She went on rather damn lifted truck for like 20 minutes and then the in-scene plays he's like that was cool and she goes you made me wait for that and he was like let's just go. I was like this is horrible

date that just kept bombing. Alright let me throw some of you ladies let's say you're both single like something horrible happens. Yeah, but now you're both single you meet a guy gorgeous guy Good job interesting person lots of personality. That's a very vague description Follow along with me here huge dick But you go out he takes you out somewhere you see his car It's a jacked up pickup and it has the fake testicles on the back of it. I'm out It that is as the other does that other deal my way? I'm so in I don't give a shit about your car. What was a amazing dude. He has a great job

He's sweet, but I don't give a shit His Tickles on your car is he if when was giant, jacked up monster trucks was testicle, if he had to get his car full? I want you to know that if you walked away, you were like, no, I saw your car and I left. And then I was like, baby, I don't care. You can have whatever car you want.

And then he was like, I know, it was my dad's. And I just keep it because it makes me think of him. Is it not why I have a sensitive man? Are you doing this? Are you struggling rubbing her microphone? Backhand, it's you. What you're caressing Are you struggling rubbing her microphone? Backhand too. What are you caressing that? The testicles in the back of the truck? Yeah, you got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You back your hand You don't get it away faster

It pushes you The testicles there you go. That's real and even says got nuts What if you had a guy an after license plate? Can I see no care? You got to ride around to your sensitive dates in that truck don't take my car baby. I've got one No, you can do that. What if he put the truck? It could be no, we can't put balls on my car I'm sorry. It could be any kind of car like maybe it's an athlete He wins a super bowl and drives off on a Hyundai. Yeah, I got it I know I can't back. We're gonna do those all day. Yeah, absolutely

You know what I did find out about fake balls though is you can get them for your pets So for example Joe the cat is a fixed cat But if for example, we thought he was Missing his balls you can buy fake balls for your pet. Just like silicon balls. It's like getting a blue job, except for your pet. Oh, you mean inside the square, yeah. Yeah, I thought you were like hanging a fake set of things off his tail.

Why would you? When one of yours went looped out, that would be weird. Would you have been, is there, are there several models of fake testicle you could have picked from? Well, I didn't lose the test. Well, I know, but I'm asking you, did they even breach that subject? Or they were just like, we got it and you didn't have to worry about it at all. I wouldn't get a prosthetic. I'd go with the one.

I would either. And what I do is I'd rotate which side of the scrotum my ball was in, depending on which week it was. Can you do that? You can do that. What separates there? Is there any separation? Yes.

There is. And you can put, so we have an expert now on the dog testicle. Thank you, Dr. Well how did you, we have an expert now. Thank you doctor Why didn't you do my face? How you lost your other testicle? Really okay, so that's a very there was the first thing I asked him the other night on we were how high would you ask? You don't you tell me they had one bull out and I was like do you have a swap sides? He's like yeah feels weird Did just go on the other way, but it's also I would not get a prosthetic I would I would rock the one ball because then you'd be able to like tell people I One ball

I don't feel like I look at that. It's a different Let's be different So apparently Like little rubber ball to gigantic I'm weird Is that like a cup to de-cup except in balls? That's an enormous ball. We need some scale, I don't know which one I would have.

I'm not going to be a banana for size. Is that the one on the left of your ears? Is that the one on the left of your ears? Is that the one on the left of your ears? Is that the one on the left of your ears? That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears.

That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears.

That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That's the one on the left of your ears. That I don't feel like you just see ball like they're not like boobs like you don't just see those I'm not like hey, let me check out your balls We'd have to feel it by the time you get down to seeing one ball

You've probably done that's probably not a deal breaker Yeah, well you're in you're never be a deal I mean because you said you break up with me if I lost a finger. Let's talk about this because Like weird like if I have No, I don't have all their fingers, but it's like, if you've lost a section of finger, I feel like I would feel creeped out

by you touching me with your short fingers. So, a guy that you used to work are right for drunk gamers. Back in the day, his name was Skylock. He lost a finger while we were all working on drunk gamers together. And he lost it in probably the worst way I've ever heard of someone losing their finger.

And he came home drunk from the bar one night and he was trying to get into his house, gets out his keys, fumbles his keys, drops him like in a little sewer grate. Like it wasn't that far down. Reached into the sewer grate, pulled his hand out and just caught his fingers, finger stayed in the sewer grate.

Oh, he's like, he's like popped it off. All the way out. Like the second knuckle. it. He like popped it off. That's all the way up. That's like the second knuckle. Thank you. Just like that was it. That was it. Well, I was high school with a kid who was holding on to a rope. And I think it was attached to a boat or a truck.

But either way, the vehicle went and they wrapped around the last knuckle of these three fingers and it just pulled them straight off. And he would always tease me. Like, still love them, still my friend, but he always be like, woo, and I'd be like, ugh, it's just not something I want to be caressed by, I'm sorry.

It's probably just a soft as a fingertip. I mean, other part, like you could lose your arm, it's just your fingers. My whole arm? Like, it's just a little strange thing. Think about this, there's no nails to get caught anywhere. Well, there shouldn't be any way. Yeah, there's no nails.

There's no nails. Also, what is it, there shouldn't be any way. Yeah, there are no nails. There are hands. Also, what is it getting caught on? Ooh. Just scraping. Yeah, scraping. It's scraping, okay. I'm like, might be even shining up. I'm like, you can't.

Pull my finger out of the hole finger camera. But there is even a cat is scratching something and it gets a nail caught very clearly. It's caught, but it tries to play it off. Like, if you're not caught, it's like, it's just standing there with it's like, claw stuck on the couch like that. I'll cut those like in the back.

Like in the screen of a window, just going, it's got cool. It's waving. So I'll start, like, remember when you got us Paul caught under the refrigerator? He like got us caught, Paul caught under a part of the refrigerator and he was like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh,

because it was really bothered, like really hurting. Yeah, sure. So I went to help him, but then he attacked me while I was trying to help him. And I'm like, And they blame you. Screaming, I'm trying to help you. Like that's gonna make it any better for him.

And I'm just the person hurting him and yelling at him. Yeah, that's the way he sees it. Yeah, animals are really dumb. Like you can't ever help an animal that's dogs, especially when they're hurt because they're like, Pinnie is obedient enough that I can be like, stop if I'm like hurting her. Probably you can.

Not only me, because if Gavin tried, she would definitely not let you do it. But anything that doesn't feel comfortable to her if I'm like, stop, she like overrides. She just like chills out until I'm done with whatever I'm doing. I recently found out that Gavin is not a dog person. Like very, well the dog hates me, therefore. Penny loves you.

Whenever I touch the dog, it pisses everywhere. Because she's like, it's a sign of submission. Yeah, but don't submit on the kitchen floor. Also, I like to point out that you shout at Penny a lot. And so she's terrified of you. So every time Gavin comes over, she's like excited, but also so nervous. So she loves you, but she's scared. She thinks that you yell and then she pees more.

Because sometimes we'll come back and she would have just like raided the trash can, like shredded food. And I'll come and I'll be like, you idiot. You stupid. And I'll just yell at the other. Gavin just doesn't understand how dogs work. Like, you can't call him an idiot,

because then they pay on you. No, you have to punish them. Who did you know Gavin? Yeah, exactly. You have to punish them the Who did you know, Gavin? Yeah, exactly. You have to punish them, they did wrong, and then you move on. There's not like two hours. She doesn't understand an hour later,

why is he going in there? Does that understand it, a grudge? No, the animals. Is that actually one of the worst things about animals? That's all. Like if you discover something they did hours ago, you can't punish them for it. Because they don't understand.

But it's new to you. God, that was true for humans. It'd be a terrible, well-tool of him. Yeah, I'm like, you just don't understand. Officer it's new to you. God, that was true for humans. It'd be a terrible, well-to-living. Yeah, I'm like, you just don't understand. Officer, I killed her yesterday, okay? Oh, you don't do it again. I catch you doing that. You're in big trouble.

The worst about Penny is she's extraordinarily smart. Gosh, hold your nose and a devil. I don't do that again. You don't cut that. It's what you did. You're the worst person ever. Gross. Penny's really smart, so she is conniving.

Like, you didn't remember when we first started ending, you were like, oh, she can't play in things in advance. But now, you realize that she does. Yeah. She like, we had an egg roll that we had like Chinese food. And we'd throw it everything away, but this one egg roll was like in a bag on the coffee table. And Penny got up, we like, now we have the drop cans so we can look.

So she got up on the couch and like just casually sat near it the whole morning. So like we wouldn't like really look at it. She was just kind of like, oh, it's good. And then we're like, all right, we're leaving. Bye. And it's soot. And like literally the door is like, kachink, she's like, ah, just like goes to town on this egg roll as soon as the

road closes. And what does it do with dogs in that like they just freak out It's the moment they have no supervision whatsoever. Absolutely. That's it Those are cameras like that have taught us is that dogs are fucking loody takes yeah one of my favorite types of videos online Or the ones where they find some kind of Destruction in the house and they have multiple dogs and they're going asking which dog hit it and so clear Which dog kind of gives us so guilty when they're going asking which dog hit it. And it's so clear which dog kind of gives us so guilty. When they're tearing apart the trash, do they just think this is the best thing ever?

And then I'm like, oh, she hit it. I imagine the dog gets drunk with excitement. And then afterwards it's like a bad hangover and you're like, what did I do last night? And it's like that for the dog. He's like, what did I do 16 seconds ago? Look at this mess. Well, Penny tries to like clean it up or hide it.

She's really notorious for like jumping up, she can hit the kitchen counter and pull the bread down. So if it's anywhere near the edge, she can reach it and she'll tear into the bread, eat like six sizes of bread and then try and stuff, things that are bread shaped in the bread bag. So it's like she thinks of it the same size. We won't do this.

The dogs down with the bag of sand, just like, yeah, like you need a job. She thinks like if it's the same volume size, we won't notice, so she'll put like a sock or something and where the bread was missing or she'll take the bread back It's smart. Yeah, she's really smart and then I meet an a peanut butter and sock family You're not so smart. You need to watch out for that dog Kevin. Yeah, she'll I think that dog's not planned towards you She um, she'll also like shove it under the oven like if we she'll just take the whole loaf of bread and she'll have it under the oven like we would never know She'll just destroy the evidence She's gonna catch the house on fire for sure the other day she was out and she what was she was like 10 feet behind you when she followed

Gavin out so he wouldn't notice she was out before he left because we put her away We leave and so she like got out of her cage before we left and that she just like Gavin was going this way So she just like tailed him around so he didn't notice. Really she just stayed in your blind spot the entire time? Yeah. You know what do that? Kids do that.

Kids have an unbelievable ability to find your fucking blind spot and then you're sitting it. I'll be somewhere like in a amusement park with Teddy. I mean, you just went back and he was like six. And it's like, where's Teddy? I turn, I'm looking, I go, where's Teddy? And he's like literally just like sticking behind me. He's not trying to hide's just you know sticking in my blind spot trying to stay out of my way while I'm looking for Teddy He's like where is Teddy he's looking around then finally you spot him in your blind spot you like

Get up here. I would hate to lose a kid. Let you see those like it's do that Louis C. Episode is so much panic Have you ever done that? Have you ever lost a kid? No, I've lost a kid for like 15 seconds, and it's 15 seconds of utter dread. Every time I hear an announcement like on this, the PA systems where they're like, hey, your daughter's here at the front, that must be the biggest sense of relief,

because I know they've been looking for that kid for like 10 minutes probably. I was always that kid. I used to lose my whole constantly. You've got lost restores. I did that too. I got lost all the time too. I got lost at Astro World once.

There's like a photo in like our photo album of me. Like the lost kid center with like my dad picking me up into lost kids center like, ugh. I got lost intentionally as much as possible. Why? It's awful. Cause like I just spend time alone. You want to get away from your brother and sister alone time? Yeah, my brother and my sister just like I was just like

This is nice. I go the way I can't believe magazines or something I would do a thing where I would be following my parents and then I'd look up and it's not my parents that I'm Oh yeah, I did that all the time. You had a home alone too. I was like a duckling basically Just like latching on and going this way and then I'd look up and I'd freak out But my mother also did this thing, so I'm embarrassed to admit, she always dressed me and my brother exactly alike when we went anywhere in public.

So we'd have the same green and white stripe shirt on, and it's just like, all our photos are like that. It's like, but white stripe, are you a rugby player? Something like that. I mean, it was always like, the green and white stripe one is always remember of like blue checks or something like that.

And we're sitting there in the same goddamn outfit. But it made it, it made it seem to fun. A handy for one. One of you gets older, like you have a hand me down that already fit. Yeah, or she'd lose me and she'd go, do you show the security person? I lost one of my kids. I don't know which one it looks just like this one. It's a matching set to this one.

Yeah, just find another one. That looks like this one. Have you ever found a missing kid? Yes. Yeah, be cute. Yeah, here's the problem though, is that I'm a don't mail. You can't. So I got to stand about five feet away and go, it's going, be true. Yeah, here's the problem though is that I'm a don't mail You can't you can't about five feet away and go it's gonna be okay like I can't get anywhere around them Yeah, I wouldn't talk to a kid on it so in the horrible it's so horrible

It's weird you're just won't I probably keep an eye on it But I wouldn't be like I wouldn't approach the kid or like interrupt the kid just like are you still breathing cool? What if the dad walked up and lamped me in the face? Not at all. That's the danger in fact. We dealt with this just recently because we went to New Orleans. And we weren't, New Orleans wasn't the whole trip.

New Orleans was like, stop over with the, we went on a vacation with the kids. We stopped over to New Orleans. I thought, I'm gonna introduce the kids to New Orleans. Just let them see it. They play New Orleans smells like old beer and vomit, the entire city, and the whole front square. And a whole lot of outdoor pee.

Yeah, and outdoor pee. And the kids absolutely hated it. And then Teddy hates loud noises, like we have to give him ear plugs like Marvel movies and stuff. Although he's getting past that too. But he hated New Orleans because there's a big drum line that there was performing like on Bourbon Street.

In the middle of all the pee smell. Yeah. So you can imagine. Well Austin smells like pea too though. What's that? Austin smells like piss. I don't think so. New York does.

Well, you know, back on Congress, it was always pissy down those alleys. Yeah, there's some. Congress gets pissy. Well done, done around six. Once you get near a bar, you're kind of like all bets are off. Yeah, I think.

So what happened with the lost kid there? Oh, we didn't lose the kid. What was talking about New Orleans? I have no idea. Oh, no, we were the aquarium. We were the aquarium and it was a picture that you guys have seen actually had the bird on her finger looking like a little Disney princess. There was a parakeet section of the aquarium, which I don't know. It doesn't make sense in the high-side. For whatever reason, every aquarium seems to have a bird section.

But this is parakeets. I mean, this is like 50 cent birds at the pet store. There was like a thousand of them, but it was really cool to go in there. Anyway, weren't there. We were in the frog section, and we were looking at these little frogs and so tank, and we were trying to find this orange one. I found it was back behind the log.

And so I lifted my kids up so they could see it. Was it like a famous frog or something? Why were you trying to see it? It's orange frog. It was in the thing, and we were trying to find all the frogs. Why'd you know it was in there? Because it was all in there. It was all in there. Oh, because this is this frog. And there's like, where's orange frog. It was in the thing and we were trying to find all the frogs. I just wasn't there. Because it's all science.

Oh, because this is this frog and this is whatever is like, where's the orange one? There it is. And this other kid next to us was like, where, where I can't see it. I can't see it. So I was like, I was like, I don't give a shit. So I like reach on gravity and pick up and I said, here, see that. And then I set it back down again. I'm like, I would gather them like you. I was like, totally prepared to like get the fight with somebody over that. Yeah. I helped the kid see this orange frog. Oh, no way. I'm very like like it conventions I just we did a photo of me holding a baby had someone had a baby and I was like

Well, let's find that because someone would have to give you a baby unless you just picked up a baby of the ground I guess I know I we know when I imagine this there's a little lost kid, little lost girl. She's in a like a little princess dress or whatever. She's lost. She's crying and I walk up and I say, Hey, it says, you know, is everything okay? She's like, I love my mom or whatever. So okay, we'll help you find your mom. Then somebody else walks up and here's a grown male talking to a crying girl. And it's immediately your problem. See, I don't think that. I feel like, I mean, maybe it's different, because again, a woman, I think it does different,

but I wouldn't, if I saw you like, hey, are you okay? And then pick her up, okay, let's go find mom. I wouldn't think that that was a wrong situation at all. Unless you walked up later, then like you weren't there for the first part of it. Maybe. I'm definitely too, I'm too British to deal with problems like that. I just stand a distance, maybe way to out,

see if it turns out right, and then head on my way. That's also, I mean, the perspective of it too, is, hey, there's parents looking for a lost girl. Where are we gonna find her? Where are we gonna find her? Oh, she's with a strange man walking, looking, walking in some direction. You know what I mean?

That's a recipe for disaster. I mean, I've been in situations like that. It's, it's, it's, people just assume the worst whenever like grown male adults get around kids. It's unfortunate. It's like that plain thing. whenever like grown male adults get around kids. It's unfortunate It's like that plain thing. Yeah, when they cut out the the quantus thing where they they move the guy We've talked about that like I think a thousand times in the podcast. Yeah, that's good. It's still insulting It is still insulting. We just talked about it on the on the Colton podcast

So somebody wants to know Madification on the website wants to know did you hear about Jimmy Fallon decloving his finger? Yes, that was freaking crazy. Caught his wedding ring fell down. So he no longer wears one, right? No, I don't think he can anymore. Right. I don't think it might happen to his finger. So he had this weird thing. They ended up canceling the tipping of the show because it was a super normal thing.

He like, he slipped and he knocked his finger on the counter at his house and his ring caught and it basically separated his finger from itself. But I think it was, am I right in this? It was still inside the skin, just like everything had come disconnected. Yeah, he's like, he had to, he thought he broke his fingers.

He thought he broke his finger and they did actually go, no, your fingers off. Oh, so they're still connected by the outside. Yeah, so they had to do like this microsurgery it took something like six hours they had to translate translate a transport different different tendons list tendons being spanned blood vessels from other parts of the body and a lot of times they can't save the finger but in this case they they managed to because you don't not say to me found finger yeah the host of the tonight show you're probably he didn't do you love it? He did like the opposite of the gloving air

Ring of all gen that's what he's loving it is taking all the skin off So I have to are what the fuck that picture that up You then have a bloody bone and like or is not so. You then have a bloody bone and like, I think it's a lot. Yeah, well, like, yeah, exactly. Just sit there. It's not like the skin side.

Just draw a face on it and give it to a kid. It's a new finger puppet. And do you mean that's what it is supposed to be and it's very important to pin your fingers and being like, basically a bone blanket? Yeah, he just bled her up. What's great to me about the body is that the skin is an organ and you need the skin to live.

Yeah. And that's weird, because it's really just a container, but it isn't. It's nuts. It is nuts. This has been Thoughts with Gavin But you can't live without skin. How much skin do you need to live? Well, how much of you is there Yeah, how much skin can you lose?

I lost all of my right arm skin. You're you're lose your arm man. My arms gone. Yeah, okay? Whatever whatever you lose the skin over whatever you want to keep Probably not gonna keep that arm Probably not cuz that's is like a barrier to infection as well, right like it seems like um I know burns get infected pretty easily, but also seems like if like you get one of those like it's not a cut But it's like you lose like the first six out of seven layers. A scrape and you're like massive scrape. Yeah, it's when blood comes out. Yeah, like a super level.

Yeah, that seems like it's bad news to. Oh, you know what I hear is when it's not even blood coming out of it. It's just like saline. Yeah, it's just body juice coming out of you. It's a plasma or something like that. Leakin out. It can cross the membrane. Yeah.

Yeah. Just think. Thanks for bringing that up. If you were if you were cook. Yeah, if you were cook, that's the stuff that Yeah. Just think. Thanks for bringing that up. If you were if you were cook. Yeah, that's the stuff that would keep you juicy. Let's go back to talking about finding lost kids. Oh my God. Please, people are not posting stuff or what are with the fuck.

Don't don't there was a really, really terrible one on there. I saw earlier today. I don't generally gag at that stuff, but it was. Do you want to know what it was? It's a demonstration that no today I don't generally gag at that stuff but it was do you want to know what it was? It's a damn conversation that no I don't know. This is constantly us embed me going like oh my god okay I just saw someone break their foot off you want to see? No no no no no I'm like tackling your mouth. No. No. That's what I do I want to see. Potentially worse than any I've never seen anything on there before that made me like literally gag it was a first of all was vagina

Okay, no it's a blue waffle. Nope. I don't know. We want Gavin to be on the podcast. He's gone It's a blue waffle. I don't know, but it was like a crazy advanced STD and then there were maggots in it. Oh That's your vagina. I thought you deserved two microphones for that one. No, it was good. It was pretty severe. They were dancing around. That's gotta be like a third world country, no access to medical.

Nope, nope. I would still like, if I had that on my arm, I'd go like this. Don't need for a small message. Well, yeah, but you are not like, I mean, that's like something you could see or not like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, guess what, I would go mean that's like something you could see you're not like

Guess what I would go I think proving not on the wide for that. I would do that. I mean I have a butthole I have a butthole would you be like butthole out just like flink? If I if I had stuff in my butt that was working its way around I would get rid of Here's either that out of it. Here's either the good news or the bad news depending on how you look at it is maggots only eat in a product flash they only eat something that's dead right there's no maggots on the rodding gotcha not just saying that you don't have to worry about getting maggots on

i think you have maggots they're eating away the necrotic flesh and that's a good thing these and for uh... treatment right like bad tissue like for people who have like bad circulation or feet. Exactly. So they're going to have a couple's podcasts and somehow we started talking about this would be a nice one. Bear sites, the disease. But basically they're crown around. You want to leave them there, right? What's that? Because they're eating something bad. I guess so. No, no. I would get rid of the maggots and then go see

somebody with the bad stuff. Okay. I would put a of the maggots and then go see somebody with a bad stuff okay I would put a cream on it we got something something did I tell a story about how my dad found a load of maggots in a wheelbarrow it was like a wheelbarrow we just came into the garage one day and it was just full of maggots why it was like someone just poured like six buckets of maggots into the wheelbarrow the ones like the grub ones like this big was it your wheelbarrow or Yeah, it was in a garage just full of maggots one day so we don't go on the garage that off Or was it I mean what had been in the wheelbarrow nothing? I'm empty so we don't know what we don't know if someone put maggots in a

We'll be anyway And I didn't really know what to do to get rid of him. So we just poured boiling water on him and it just turned into a big thick paste. And then we poured it down and drained. That's horrible. That's the worst thing ever. You tortured the animals and then you poured them in a drink. I don't think it's torturing them,

no I think it's better than squashing them all, isn't it? No, I feel like hot water would take longer to kill them. Also, I'd just like to point out, I like that you think that somebody attacked you very passive aggressive I'm having like someday they might find these maggots So British you're right. It could be true. How much water did you boil? It's a wheelbarrow It was like to kettle less of war just to kettles. Yeah Yeah

It was just like just yellow sludge. I can't even, you know what, like I'm just gassed it. I can't even, and you put it down the storm drain, I guess. Yeah. Some people's drinking water. I can't believe that. The most part is if you, I wonder if you like started to pour the wheelbarrow, but then stopped

if it would continue to like slip over you. Like in one condition, the worst paste. No. How much do you think got on you because there's got to be a splash back on that because like an and the first Poor is gotta be yeah Well, you like this game. I this is why we're on the topic of no stuff We have a little bit of a problem our house the one thing that we argue about is that Ashley will buy food I will buy food and it's for everybody actually will buy food. It's just for her But then it gets eaten after like four weeks a chocolate bar in the cabinet gets eaten and it happens And she gets upset about it. Totally understandable, but give me a break. So

The other day she had a like a breakfast bar or something that she had bought and I took it to the set of million dollars When we were shooting because we shot it like seven in the morning for one of my segments So I grabbed this little breakfast bar and went out and was eating it there and I was like, well this is interesting, it's a little different. What is this made of? It's like, okay it's palm of granite blueberry and cricket flour. And I was like, cricket flour, I go, I can't be like crick-crab made out of crickets. I'm gonna look on my back and it says like, Aranagas Domestika, it actually was like the fourth ingredient. I'm like, what is that? How do you get flour? And I looked it up and it made it was a cricket. She had a fucking cricket Bright this bar

Please tell me this you did this on purpose So glad that he ate it because otherwise I would have I got it to try and see if it was any good I didn't know his cricket flour I just saw the blueberry pomegranate. I thought that sounds nice for breakfast sometimes Cricket flower. It was in free because Cricket flower was a big deal. I think she felt too bad and did want to own up She did it to get you to stop eating her shit So it's like I was really upset that he ate it

So he got it specifically so that I could try it now. I'm really glad I got a really honk quick quick. So they just like harden a cricket and then just grate it into. Yeah. I don't think we're so much as they probably just yeah ground it just. That's not. Hey, do you remember when we got that but it is food and it's a protein. It's an incredible source of protein apparently. Cheese for our picnic. Cheese. We first moved in. We're like we're gonna go on as picnic. It's gonna be so great. Remember that?

And then we got this like special cheese. It was like special cheese. It was from HEB. It was like not weird little cheese section. They have this like, oh, we're fancy. Like the artist and cheese section. It's like just like the main cheese section. It's like the main cheese section.

It's just, yeah, it's not just like a regular store cheese section. There's like a person there. It's too fancy for H. So it's like the cheese counter. Right. But it's like, where's your monster? It's like, oh, it's in just like a regular store cheese section. There's like a person there. It's too fancy for it So it's like the cheese counter, right, but it's like where's your monster? It's like, uh, it's in the weird cheese section It is the weird cheese section. Let me walk you down there. You know cheese or win cheese? You gotta walk like this It was like this like super herb Like Mediterranean herb cheese. It was like something weird So we're like, oh, this looks great. There are little cubes and they're in this little fancy plastic thing

And we took it home and we opened it. We're like, we're just gonna have a couple cubes before picking it. We're just doing diving just a little bit. So we each eat one and then we're like, oh, it's just really good. And Gavin's like, Gavin goes to get another one. And then he goes, what do you think this green fuzz is? I'm like, he's like, it's gotta be like an herb, right? And I'm like, oh my god, it's all moldy.

And we just eat it. It's fuzzy herb. How many, how many? Yeah, how many? I'm on your cheese. It was one of the six way you're just like What's on this fifth one I mean? Basically it's just you just turned itself into blue cheese. Oh yeah, that's what it is. When you like take a macro lens to some blue cheese. It's just fuzzy mold. It's like beans of lens to some blue cheese. It's just fuzzy mold

It's a bit of a maze of mold. Yeah, I mean, it's very carefully molded Yeah, it's like the day we bought it too. We were all excited about our fancy cheese and it was mold Yeah, molding general's not too bad like even when they do age stakes They make them all nasty and moldy and then just cut that part off Yeah, if you have like a block of cheese and it's molding just cut it off and keep going I think the only thing that's if it's got mold in it that you should watch the fuck out bread. It's peanut butter That's super dangerous anything grow in peanut butter is like yeah, it's really dangerous to have molding peanut butter So if you see molding peanut butter, don't even try it and turn it green potatoes

What poisonous? Yeah, those are poisonous. You know Not just boiling thing, but we've been talking about the book The Martian Which you're about to make in a movie with Matt Damon and he ends up eating a lot of potatoes for a specific reason in that book and I keep wondering like Because he's Russian. Yeah, raw potatoes because Irish wait Both both. No, he's Russian. He's Irish Russian. Yeah, you do eat real potato. It's raw potato. I'm gonna look at that. You can eat raw potato. Yeah, but it's not good. What do you want to make? You want to make it. Is there anything potato is the most delicious thing anywhere you cook it. You can make double stuffed jacket potatoes or baked potatoes or fries or potato salad or you can boil your potatoes. can do anything with potatoes here raw potatoes disgusting that's true I actually like most vegetables raw

like I prefer raw peppers and mushrooms then cooked ones but yeah yeah yeah good for a spot gun here you want to you want to scoop on raw potatoes what about potatoes here's a scoop on raw potatoes this comes from livestrong.com to get themed today for this is believe it or not I get a lot of my nutritional advice from Livestrong It comes up. Yeah, they must be high on the top because it's always at the top Yeah, okay because they are indigestible raw potatoes uncooked potatoes pass through the upper intestine with very little change They arrive in the lower intestine largely attacked where they begin to ferment under the influence of intestinal bacteria. It's a really long-

Wait, so you can get drunk from the inside? Drunk from the inside is great. That's awesome. The result of this fermentation is the production of gas, which causes bloating, cramping, and flatulence. Okay, do you have a lot of these? No, I don't have these. Our threat to health, they are uncomfortable and very inconvenient. So, I guess you can digest a raw potato.

It's a good luck on that. You gotta go. I wonder how much fat one potato gives you. I never said it's indigestible raw, but then you cook it and you can eat it. Like, I mean, a lot of things you have to cook, to eat them safely, but like, I could eat chicken. I could eat a chicken if I caught one, I could eat it.

Yeah, but your body can use the chicken though. It's the same situation, isn't it? I don't think so. What does your body do to the chicken? Don't you get like salmonella from that? No, I don't think you do get salmonella from that. From raw chicken? You can't. So was it was in the body caster talking about the French salmonella test they did? Where they wondered why people in France never get salmonella because they don't wash the day they don't wash their eggs and the fact that we wash our eggs contributes to them getting salmonella because it washes

protective dirt off. First of all, I think salmonella is overrated. But I think you can actually, everything, like a cad eats a raw chicken. I mean, does it a fox? Does it? Oh, me if fox. When I don't have a cat, they're getting raw chicken. I mean, take out like parasites, stuff like that. You can eat a pig. I mean, pork is one of the most dangerous things to eat raw because of parasites. But I mean, other than that, it's like if you just, if those parasites didn't exist dangerous things to eat raw because of parasites, but I mean other than that It's like if you just if those parasites didn't exist you can eat raw pork Yeah, and digest it. I mean, that's it If it wasn't for all the stuff that's unhealthy for you, you could eat it raw

Exactly. No, I'm saying is that it's not indigestible like your body can't do anything with it So you're asking what is indigestible? Yeah, why does it make it? Why does it take something cooking it taken from something? It separates some bonds A cooking is basically chemistry. Cooking is basically chemistry. Yeah. Okay, that's the new cooking show. What you really don't think so. Cooking is basically chemistry. You mean when you make a recipe? And you're sort of cooking this chemistry. You're changing this makeup, but you know cooking breaks down proteins. That's why you know with your sous vide steak stuff, you can only leave it in the heat for so long. It's so but you know cooking breaks down proteins. That's why you know with your sous vide steak stuff You can only leave it in the heat for so long

Down that's all chemistry. I don't think we only leave it in for so long Yeah, you can I mean listen, I get what you're saying it makes a reaction to it So yeah, but it's the cookie and scammer's true. It was kind of funny guys don't break up. I know I'm sorry By the way, I ate all your food just enough. I know you'll cricket dust good Lord just in a minute. You'll crick it thus. Good lord. I love that. I love that.

My girl's ruined by what the fuck he'm just. I've got chocolate. Yeah. I've got chocolate stashes all over the place. In case I need a emergency chocolate, because he eats all my chocolate. I have a whole drawer. I've got a drawer of English chocolate. I've got a drawer of English chocolate.

I've got a drawer of English chocolate. I've got a drawer of English chocolate. I've got a drawer of English chocolate. I've got a drawer of English chocolate. I've got a drawer of English chocolate. I've got a drawer of English chocolate. I've got a drawer of English chocolate. I've got a drawer of English chocolate. I've got a drawer of English chocolate. I've that's like this is mine. Please don't eat it We share everything. If we shared everything I would get nothing I don't eat any of your chocolate. It's really snaky

Snacky are you going to Ireland with me? Sure, okay? People are asking if you're gonna go to Ireland. Sure. All right. We're gonna go to Ireland. I want to go see some castles two weeks from now Have a Guinness in Dublin. I'm dying to that It's different somehow. It is. I've heard it's very different like it's different here and in Dublin It's also different in England. Well, it's not a heavy like a tourist It's fresher. It's closer to its origins right It's like when you get a bagel in New York. It's different What are you saying? Why are you looking me like get a bagel in new york it's different what are you saying way looking like that

bagel uh... the reason the bagels taste different there is actually the water you know that the rules of water like i think even home-sized pizza like ships in water from new york that that i think that's how the by the way

by the way like eating pizza in italy I was like, no, I've had this pizza in New York before. Like, you know, nothing about Italian pizza was different than what's American invention. So the weird thing. No, yeah, totally. Oh, here's the we got up. Here's the weird thing about the Italian diet. Is that tomatoes are indigenous to America. So before 1492, they didn't have tomatoes in Italy and also Marco Polo brought noodles back From pasta back from China. So what the hell did the Italians eat olives and one all of the olives and cream right? That's what they ate the entire time. I'm one and one. Yeah, that's a one. What's a lot of good was good? Okay?

We're gonna have the internet where was pizza Invented what wait what what was the complete was where where was pizza Invented where was there actually one of responses Where was pizza invented China? I don't know why they would know that and then where was where was pizza invented? We're gonna go with the first one. Yeah. Okay. You feeling lucky? No. Not anymore, because I see it now. The word pizza was first documented in 997 80. So it couldn't have been America. Almost the Navajo's were making pizza in Guyada, Italy. Guy, Italy, I've always felt flat on

your Austin. American. Here's the thing is I, there's a lot of people that i always think american until i find out otherwise what mostly actors i had no idea for a decade that you jackman was australian here is your panel like no clue i thought mel Gibson was australian he's american he's an american living in australia when he got cast in roguorra or mad max i should say so you thought pizza was American even though it's no pizza.

I thought pizza was Italian and I thought I remembered somebody telling me that I was incorrect. Probably when I was a teenager some dope had it in a fact book that they like made it the state fair. I totally trust that it was made. If American invented the pizza they wouldn't they would call it like lunch pie or something they wouldn't call it a pizza. What? Your America hatred has been like a little like how many times we had this conversation the last week

it's been a little much it's not american it was just that that guy in the movie i know that was what you'd already like gotten warned about your america hatred and then that guy and you really think it over the top you're talking about gaffin you hate america i love i move to i live here now we'd also like to thank another one of our sponsors of the ruchy podcast. This episode is brought to you by pizza Hut Pizza Hut Cheesy Bites Pizza is back now with your choice of one of seven crust flavors like ranch or smoke house barbecue Get a one topping pizza now for 1199 at pizza hut.com

Thanks again to our friends at pizza hut for sponsoring this podcast and for the delicious cheesy bite pizza We actually got like two of them here tonight. That was way too tempting. Did you eat your cheesy bites? I had those cheesy bites were good. They're so good. I'm usually thought I was gonna be like the hot dog in there, but then the cheesy bites were just good.

The hot dog. You know, you ever seen the hot dog in the things? I do that in other countries. I'm gonna stop. Stop. Don't the end read. Hold that till I have to the end read. For all you guys who will be attending RTX's, we can please stop by our hashtag RetroBytesArcade

powered by Pizza Hut to compete in our hashtag RetroBytesArcade Gaming Tournament. Remember, check out the cheesybitespizza on pizzahut.com where you can get a one topping pizza for 1199. Pizza Hut also a major sponsor of RTX. So we cannot thank everybody at pizza hut enough for their support And they made a pizza for this podcast and their hot dogs and they made that they made the hot dog You guys have seen the hot dog crust pizza, right?

Where's a Canada they do that? Somebody who's somebody's in the know who watches the podcast talk to us about that That was a collective shut up. I wasn't telling anybody in particular. Yeah, no. I wasn't telling you in particular. I was just telling both of you. I had a bad run with Meg for a while. Like, now we can talk about it where I told Meg not

to eat a Cheeto to she had her playboy, she was like oven baked, glazed potato chip thing. You know, she was a playboy. He was saving you from those. Those are gross. Can you just like, no, those are delicious. No you from those those are gross Can you like normal? Those are delicious. Oh, I love like anything tastes like cardboard. Oh, I'm a sucker for normal lace chips But the oven baked ones if I eat them because I'm trying to be healthy

They just remind me how miserable being healthy is no way I really like that. I've actually eaten those Package stuffing things that look like Cheetos that are biodegradable like a polystyrene packing peanuts Now the cornstarch ones they make the the the eco-safe ones you never seen that Yeah, I've eaten those before why I say good they're tasty and I was trying to prove that they were safe I saw a thing on line where I got it so I ate one two so they what the Digestible but a role potato isn't Well it's cornstarch. I think they make it feel like yeah, that's them that's them They don't use them so much anymore now they use whoever invented the air packs is like a brilliant person. Oh, yeah

Well, the name is on uses big bubble wrap Well, then I don't know what happened like after I had that thing with Meg which I I was just trying to help out But I was like it looked like I was policing It was really funny because you were like so sure about that Yeah, and at first I think I was policing what you're saying. It was really funny because you were like, so uh, sure about that. Yeah. And at first I think I was like, oh, playboy, no, I think it's gonna be great, you know, it's not nude, it's like the thing that they're going

here like, no, no, no, the chips. I'm like, oh. You just said I'm done with countering, you're watching today. I did? And Miles, you remember Miles was like, no, Meg, you eat those chips. He was like, he was a pilot. Miles, that's a little loo-loose stood up for you. I did. And then, he was a little bit more. But he was mild enough to lose to it up for you. And then I forget his full-on girl power.

I forget what it was that happened, but it was here. Meg was walking this way. I was walking that way. And I saw Meg and she was doing something. I forget what she was doing. And I said, I walk by her and I go, smile, Meg. And I go, did I just tell you she goes,

do you just tell me to smile? I like to cut me off. I have no idea why I said it. I never tell anybody this smile and I told make this smile Which is like so I know why I did it. I don't know why I did it the worst thing as fellas It's never charming if you're like a small baby. Yeah, shut the fuck up It comes you can't win because these are comes to this. Don't you tell me to smile or tea some other marinated? Like it's never like, oh, I didn't think about that. Oh, let me just make your day better. Because usually if you're if you're irritated about something,

that's not gonna happen. Can you imagine while I get up to a construction, we're gonna go and hate smile. You'd be like, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck yourself? Although for a lady when I'm telling him, I'm going, you want some small baby? That's like the one voice I have for someone.

That's your one street walking cat collar? Yeah, when I told you about Playboy and you were, and then we couldn't talk about it. We did the the the the Binaural podcast. Yeah, it's gonna get jackass. Something coming up, but yeah. I'm just a little jackass, so it was a helpful jackass. It was fun, I had fun whispering on people's ear holes

Especially the like the like the fake head. Yeah, just being like hey, what's up, buddy? Talking to a fake head is a little bit weird, but also really fun It's kind of freeing We should get one of those. Yeah, we should get one of those we should but I don't know It's like it was actually on the RT lab channel That was probably the thing that did the best I think was the binoral podcast. People really liked a day in the life of Joe as well. That's true. Joe the cat. Wait you, we talked about this, we talked about lost animals or lost kids. We lost Joe the cat. Like when we moved. We didn't know. Here's the thing. We didn't lose Joe the cat. Joe the cat. Walked away.

Fucking walked away. You guys let me just let me just let me just put this out there because I think maybe you're a little too close to the situation. You don't see it. I think you guys are being a little overbearing and you just needed some time Well, apparently so yeah, so we were this whole mac and nation of like we actually is okay Say some of the place. Yeah, I'm personally So I actually like posted on like our Austin Like that we were looking for Joe the cat and somebody called it out They're like that you're the cat from Roushji, then I was like oh shit Your cat is famous enough. He was gone for two fucking weeks

He was gone and we like had posted we hired a cat lady You hired a picture we hired a lady who could find the text is a real yeah, yeah Absolutely she was she was tracking like the wildlife trails around because there are also there are a lot of raccoons and Skunks in the area a lot. I said Gavin we've had dears around our house yeah and so she was like tracking these wildlife things and checking the holes and defenses for cat hair like just like a single hair that might have got caught on the fence to indicate he went this way the problem turns out you have any idea how many people own orange cats a lot of people own orange cats it turns out I also find

out the cat cats lost it goes in about a 250 foot radius, which there's utilities you can use online, you can put your point down and it shows you a 250 feet from your house. They might go as far as 500 feet if they're in or up top. They need to do a bigger one, which is 500 feet. And that's pretty much it. Like that's as far as they'll go. Joe, we finally got him back. Actually did all this stuff.

She, she, I have postcards sent out to like a thousand households in our neighborhood. Everyone within a mile of our house got a postcard about Joe the cat. Postures up everywhere. And wildlife cameras we set up at like, you know, other people's yards trying to find them. I mean, we were desperately trying to find Joe. And then at the end, we just got a call from a lady who got his name on a tag. That was it. He wanted into our backyard and she's picked him up. A half mile away.

Three quarters of a mile away. How many fees? That is so much. We would have filed a 25 hundred feet. So then it'd be like 37 hundred feet is three quarters of a mile. My favorite part about this whole process because we're like every day asking like his Joe back and like hearing about all of it as it went on was that people called Ashley to tell them tell her that they also own cats they're like

yeah so it's not a cat but I own an orange cat and like who calls a lost cat number to talk about their own I had I had one person get this I actually had one person notified to get me who they sent me a text message saying, we got to do the cat bag by the way. She's going to be up to the gun and back. But we were going to talk about it otherwise. She sent someone sent me a text message saying,

I saw your posters up that you're missing a cat. We have a pure bread Persian that's not adjusting to our move very well. Do you want it? Yeah, they're like, we saw you lost the cat. You want another cat. You want a shitty cat. It's like, you're desperately looking for your cat

and you just want ours instead. Same thing, right? So. So hey, I lost my kid, you have the music right. Lots of kids, you're gonna, there's one. Oh, I have twins and I only want one, so. Yeah, that one's crying a bunch. I think that one doesn't want to go any the right.

So it's pissing me off. Well, so we used to let me outside when we first got to me we really let him be like an outdoor cat and he would basically he got stuck in the same tree like four times you got a cat that gets stuck in the tree? yeah actually it was the same and he would just get up to the same branch and then just meow and then say one every time

we climb up and get him down and then he just goes straight back to the tree then meow I think he was actually in the tree being like, NANANANANANAN everywhere everywhere finally we found him in our neighbors yard and Gavin hops offence And like brings him back and then the next week it may be like three or four weeks after that happened our Neighbors we saw them in the driver and they're like hey, and they're like um hey what's your cat's name? Schmien were like a Smeen and they're like oh, yeah, we haven't seen him is he okay? And we're like yeah, you know, we decided we were going to keep him indoors after it took him like four hours to come home. If we were a little worried, we're like, yeah, we just been keeping him inside and they're

like, oh, we miss him. We're like, wait, what? And they're like, oh yeah, he used to just come in and take naps with our baby. And he's just going their house and taking naps with their infant child. That was cheating on us. Joe the cat did that. Joe the cat did that as well. In fact fact our neighbors would send us pictures of Joe the cat Walking through their house because their little girl fed him pink salmon

Do you feed him I'd be annoyed if someone was feeding my cat and bragging about it I don't put stuff in my cat. It's my cat. I get to do that I'm really most indoor outdoor cats have multiple families. Yeah, Gavin was I want you to know the Gavin was truly Devastated and what the first thing you said to me when they said that was, if we have a baby, it won't be his first baby. Hahaha. Did you really say that? I remember saying that, but it wouldn't be some East first face. So now he's an endocat forever. Yeah. Really? Because you're jealous. Yeah. Because of absolutely because of Gavin. Well, that was the thing is like, we were, I

mean, we were legitimately worried about you. Right. The reason I was, I thought I got eaten by a coyote. I had almost convinced myself that coyote. I wasn't into work for like a week because I would get here and I'd get a call from someone saying they saw an orange cat outside somewhere. I go back immediately, search the whole area and find out there was another resident orange

cat. Or we get there. They're all really sweet talking about something and then actually we just start crying. Put her head on the table for a minute and say, I was like, oh my God, then after two weeks, we got to call, race down there, three quarters a mile away, get Joe the cat, didn't give a shit.

He did not care at all. It's like he just left. He got him back in the house, sat him down and he goes, and he goes out of his food bowl, eats like four whole things, and then sleeps for 20 hours and just goes, hey. The nice thing though is like, is that he slept, which makes it feel like he's comfortable and he's like, oh, I have my adventure, now I'm home. Yeah.

So I think that was nice. I just hope he would have found his way back. That's what's not true. I don't think he would have. Yeah. That far away. I wondered if he was pulling a little bit of a homeward bound on us What trying to go to the old house? Yeah, yeah, because because we moved not that long ago Yeah, I see at the Winfield us or two guy River Jones on the website says I assume it's a guy could be girl Our name is River. We lost our cat years ago. Someone found it in another town very far away from where I lived and

We lost our cat years ago, someone found it in another town very far away from where I lived and returned it to us We suspected that our neighbor was putting out traps for the cats And he also took the cat to the pound as well peel the pound and describe their neighbor So he's not a neighbor's neighbor's neighbor's a weird about cats sometimes. I just remove other people's cats Yeah, yeah, it's like we have a chip in both of our animals But people don't check them enough. That's the thing that drives me crazy. We had a GPS collar on Joe and we had a chip. It will tell us the second he leaves the house. But because we had been away for a couple of days, like the chart don't only last for like three days. So we didn't put on them because we figured it'd be uncomfortable and no point because you know.

Who would die? Yeah. Who would die in the next episode? She was really excited about that too. She's worried that she had messed up. Oh yeah, no I can't imagine. You can't like you feel so helpless. I don't have kids but I imagine it's similar like when Simea was ill and he wouldn't eat and I just like sat I just sat and cried and boiled chicken and like just eat the chicken you're gonna die. I never see the video of the woman who just binned that cat. Oh yeah England. crazy bitch woman. Yeah, it's for walking by someone Oh, yes, did she just like picks a cat up and put it on the wall just mind except it She just goes like bins it and then that and then her excuse was like yeah, I don't know why I did that I was like what you're a lunatic. Yeah, yeah

It's a trail that could easily you do that in Texas that would kill that cat. Yeah, oh absolutely Yeah, because nobody would know that cat was in there for like six guys. I would die from heat Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I can't people are that's why it's so Gavin about like having to me outside is like people drive like idiots Like there's always cats on the side of the road like there to people aren't stable enough out indoor outdoor cats Oh, you just you just send burning off on a whole new chance that you've lived in Austin a very long time. Yes I've lived in Austin a very long time. Yes. I've lived in Austin a very long time. Something has happened. Down in where?

One of the last 18 months, two years. Something has happened where the quality of driving in Austin is taking it. Let me tell you what happened. Fucking knows that. Everyone who lived in LA was like, oh my god, Austin's in LA and moved to fucking Austin. Actually, I play a game, which is like we just go, we live about 15 minutes from the office. It's a really short commute. We play a game, I thought we should just do it on

Paris good Monday, it's like, okay, let's just start off from the office, but we ended up in our house, we can't do that, maybe we're good dinner. We just try to drive in our car anywhere and not run into somebody that's just an absolute fucking lunatic just about the way they're driving. We have bike lanes around here and around the office and people, I don't know if it's like an education issue or if people don't care. Oh, absolutely. Just about the way they're driving. We have bike lanes around here and around the office.

And people, I don't know if it's like an education issue or people don't care. That's not an extra lane. You don't get to just drive half of your car and that's a bike lane. Get the, out. Like it just drives me crazy. Or just, I would never ride a bike in this city ever. The big thing now is like nobody's ever gonna miss their turn. That's it.

It's like, oh, I'm supposed to turn left here. I'm in the right lane out of three lanes. I'm gonna go left. And it's like, I'm just gonna try to work my way over at the stop light to do that. It's like, you missed your turn. That's what happened. You go another block, you come back around.

Exactly right. Take it right here and then turn around and come back. You missed your turn. When we were in Anaheim for VidCon, just now we saw a guy who missed his turn, pulled over to the side and then started reversing down the road and he wasn't like- Gavin I will trust he can he was like waving people please like go past me go on get around

I missed my turn he was just like he missed a driveway to a hotel and he backed up Gavin I were walking to dinner and we're walking in the direction that he's backing up so we're like catching up to this guy and starting to pass him as he's backing up and he's looking the rear of your mirror and going like it's getting mad at everybody else and waving them around and he backed up a quarter of a mile probably. And then got back to where the hotel was and then turned it. Such an idiot. I said to the guys, you're an idiot.

I was like, can nobody would call that guy out for anything. Is it faster to just go around the block and tap on it? People are not going to go around the block. It doesn't exist anymore. There's nobody who goes around the block and people are not gonna go around the block. It doesn't exist anymore There's nobody goes around the block my favorite thing that people do is that because you have frontage roads here Right, it's like kind of like the highway, but it's not it's on the side of it Matt hates frontage roads. I've never seen him before He needs frontage roads cause traffic and I can't get him to explain why he thinks that is

I understand yeah I didn't have them in LA why he thinks that is. I understand. Yeah. I don't see any. I just see them when I didn't have them in LA. It basically runs parallel to the main highway. And sometimes when there's traffic on the actual highway, people will just drive up over the curb onto the frontage road and carry on. And pick up.

There was a lot of pickups. I was with Dan when we saw this. I was like, there's traffic here. I bet you at least three cars here just drive straight over the pavement onto the other road. And it like four of them did. I was like this traffic here. I bet you at least three cars here Just drives straight over the pavement onto the other road and it like four of them did I was like now My thing that gets me whenever I'm stuck in traffic. I just look at that with flinker Wouldn't it be good? That's gonna be so illegal

It's gonna be like your license tape. You're driving off the road Having it all the time. It's definitely moving violation But what gets me is when they do it in front of cops like up to like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I get it if like you don't signal in a, I don't know, driving, you make like a mistake that you still drive in the road. You don't signal in a driving. Yeah, but that are driving up off the road and then back onto a different road. You can't surely be like, hey, do you know what you just did? And you go like, no, I have no idea. What did I just do? You just drove off the road.

You just say, I transitioned from one road to another road. I got out of traffic using some not road. There's still common in Texas. They actually have a name when you exit the freeway. They're called Texas. That's just the common. They are. They're called Texas.

That's the awesome thing. The one thing I miss about LA that is here in Austin is the shittiest thing that's been imported is that it's that kind of selfishness of like, I'm not gonna miss my turn or I need to get over so I'm just gonna like go and assume that you're gonna get there. But people do it timidly here, like,

oh, maybe not so, but maybe, but maybe not and then they end up slowing people down even more in LA. It was so great because people suck it driving there but they're so confident about it and everybody knows to get out of the way of the people that are like, I'm just getting over and everyone's like,

all right, cool, and they move on. But in Texas, it's like, it's five times slower because they're like, I'm getting over, ooh, I'm getting over, ooh, I'm getting over now. And it's like, just, if you're gonna be an asshole, be a confident asshole. Have you ever texted an asshole, you're a nice driver, like,

I'll leave like a gap for someone to get in. I leave their blinker on it, it's like, get to like six car lengths. And it's like Get like six car links and it's like how much room oh I know Get I'm trying how much space do you need you like mad for being nice? You know the most the maddest I've ever seen a driver in Texas. It was before Uber was around here I was in a cab with Dan and Dan fired and the driver was so mad. He whipped open his glove box and pulled out for breeze, which I guess he just keeps there.

And he started spraying it all around. That's an all-in-off face. And Dan was like, yeah, all right. I'm going. He's like, I put up with a shit all the time and he's just digging fire. He was really annoyed. Like, and then he did it again, Dan fired it again. The guy didn't bring out the for breeze again.

But I was just like, we were laughing about it. And the smell kind of calmed down. And we just thought it again, then fought it again. The guy didn't bring out the forbrees again, but I was just, we were like, we were laughing about it. And the smell kind of calmed down, and we just thought, yeah, again, and then all of a sudden I smell it again. And I was like, you did it. And he was just like, yo. And I was like, come on, then, thank you for trying to have had worse.

It's not like it was vomit. The guy opened all of the windows and sprayed for breeze. Like he was not hiding the fact that he was annoyed by this fog and it was a honking fog. It was awful. Actually, I got back from a trip from the airport. We took a cab because we determined it was cheese for the cab to and from the airport then to park the car there for like a week that we were on. Why do you take an hoop? So we took a cab back because I was under the mistaken notion that Uber couldn't come to the airport. Not that way.

No, they can come to the airport in Austin as well. It just turns out I was wrong. No, they can't in LA now too. Good fucking lord. The moment we got in the car, to the moment he dropped us off, 20 minute car ride from the airport. The guy, the cab driver, yellow cab driver, would not stop talking about Uber the entire time

and how shitty Uber was and now they were terrible for everybody And you should write your sender and tell them to stop Uber, but it's time we get out of go I'm never getting a cab again. I'm gonna go on Uber. You know the best commercial for the best commercial for Uber of all time You know how you get like you try and put off the social cues like I don't care like I'm not interested Let's just not talk about it. Come here like you fake like pant my pretty gun in your mouth just not talk about community or writing. Yeah, like you say, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the fun house offices and the guy talked about spiritual healing for a hour and about how he says mantras every day and bring him the things that he wants and it was

it was so horrible that I thought at one point that I could just get out of the car and just tuck and roll and then get another just fame dead you know I mean at some point for those interactions just like laid on the back seat carry a jar of flies with you. Just over it. It's like, lay there dead. I've had the coin done your eyes. I've had a really annoying, I feel like this is just like the complaint about ship hookers. I've had venting, annoying experiences with Uber recently, and now I don't like Uber. So what happened is, I'll call one on the app, and then someone will accept

your ride, and it says they're gonna be there in five minutes or so But that's just based on distance and it isn't actually really accurate So if they take a wrong turn that number will go up to like eight. Yeah, so what's been happening is It's our check about five minutes. I'll go and do something for like four minutes and then just check on them again It still says five minutes. Yeah, and I realize he's just sat somewhere right just sat just been sat still This guy was sat still for 15 minutes and I was like I'm canceling this obviously and then you get charged for it they'll charge me probably so then I'm like yeah wait a bit request another one same guy accepts it I'm like

prick you're not moving stop except because you can't there's no one out he just bags it he's like yeah I'll take that one and then he just sits there so it's like only I can't use Uber because this guy is Hugging all of Uber for me so I choose lift and he wasn't even like starting to move again It wasn't like he accepted it like oh fuck sorry. I'm on my way in line I'm like yeah, it's probably in line at drives real yeah, I could see him pop next to it It's like stop accepting my god damn Uber you can message the guy I It's like stop accepting my god damn you can message the guy I

Was like I do not want to talk to this person. I had a guy sit there five minutes and I was like I was like are you coming to get me? He's like yeah, I'm on my way It's like and I thought the same thing as you the guy's inside getting a drink somewhere or something Yeah, I'm so sick of him. Does he get my phone number? I don't think he does I think he does no, but here's the thing is like I can contact the driver so I can get their number. You can message them or you can call them. Yeah, I just don't want them to have mine. Theoretically, they can contact you, right?

Yeah, they see your number. It's just a cell phone call. Yeah, absolutely. They'll text you. But it's an automated text whenever they get within a minute. Yeah, but they can call you and it'll call your cell phone number. OK. So then they'll have that in there.

Maybe I've been called once in your phone. You had a problem with Uber though. You're rating. Oh yeah, I find I have a bad rating. I'm never, I'm one of the drivers told me, he goes, yeah, he goes, he goes, just so you know, it's like, you know, you probably have trouble getting picked up for rides.

He goes, but I pick people no matter what the rating is, no matter what, what? He goes, oh, you can't see your ratings, but I can see your rating, you have a low rating. Like most people are like 4.8, you're like a 4.1. Like you're like a 4.4. I mean, Bern you probably snarked once too many times. So now I'm like overly nice to fucking.

They're like you making you even lower. But there was, I think I know what it was, there was one time the first Uber I'd ever took, was this guy and it said, Ray sure thing and I said, oh I'd love to rate it. And I clicked on it to rate it, but I'd realize it would I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't money. I've done that before because in the app, you can slide from one to five. Now, is that what it is? You can go like, but if you do it on the email, I went to slide from one, but it just took the input of one. It's like, thanks, one.

I was like, oh, oops. So I went in again and did five. Yeah. I do report a driver in, when I was in LA for E3. For my very first time, it was off of LIF, which I liked better than Uber.

But he, I'm, I've lived in LA for four years, so I know When people aren't taking me an optimal way and this guy not only wasn't taking me like a good way He took like I could see his phone. I'm convinced by the way that there's an app for those drivers that looks like Google Maps It takes them like a little bit longer away. I'm so that's not an app someone should make it It's bad for me, but it's a genius app. Anyway, so we had it like on a screen and it was like take a right and then he took a left

which wasn't like, oh, he's taking your shortcut. I'm like, I know he's screwing me here. And then he like a street was closed. So it was like really fucking over and he wasn't saying anything like, oh, sorry, I screwed up or anything. He was just like, yeah, dude, dude, dude, like no big deal. Then he almost hits another driver

and stops in the middle of the road long enough that I'm like, does he expect me to get out in the middle? Like we've been sitting in the middle of traffic long enough at a stop that I'm like, do I get out now? And then we just, and then he dropped me off on like the wrong road. And I was like, here you go.

And I finally was like, one star, I'm reporting you. I had a problem with with lift. It was um, Jack and Blaine and I, it was at E3 as well. We were going to, uh, and Ubisoft preview event to do some hands-on before we had the demos on the stage. And so we called a lift from the hotel, we get in it, and it's, this is lady, she's perfectly nice, except that we had to like run down the block to like go to her because she was like, I'm here, I went too far, come to mean, and not also, by the way, I'm in like a right turn lane, so you better hurry. Oh, gosh.

So she was one of those people, she was just stopped in her right turn lane, like, I don't want it. But then she, she was driving us along and then she was like, it's right there. So she pulls over and let us out. It was like two blocks away and we had to like navigate through a maze of like little alleys and side streets just to get to where we were going. She had the address new exactly where we needed to go and was like, eh, that's close enough. I'm going to drop you off at this dead end. God, it's amazing. Amazing.

Alright, let me read one last thank you for sponsoring the podcast night. This episode of the Roosteried Podcast is also brought to you by Squarespace. Start building your website today at Squarespace.com for a free trial and 10% off your first purchase. Go to squarespace.com slash Roostereed. Squarespace build it beautiful. We're in the middle of like redoing our website right now. But one of the things I always tell people when they're getting started is like make sure you have your own part of the web and it's not easy. That's going to hurt. Those are hard. I don't want to catch one on my teeth.

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in the world, Squares space starts at $8 a month and you get a free domain if you sign up for a year. Start your free trial today with no credit card required at Squarespace.com. When you decide to sign up for Squarespace make sure to visit Squarespace.com slash research teeth for a free trial, it's a free trial, and get 10% off your first purchase. Squarespace. Build it beautiful. I wish I had Squarespace when we start off on web stuff. It would have been a lot easier on us like building the website.

No, it just looked great. What's that? It would have been easier, I said. It would have been a lot easier. I was also kidding about it looking great. Yeah, the first one was a little bit rough, and then we hired a couple of programs. What's that? It would have been easier, I said. It would have been a lot easier. I was also kidding about it looking great. Yeah, the first one was a little bit rough. And then we hired a couple of programs.

Yeah, let's see, and show that. It was basically just like a white site with a menu on the left. Yeah. And it had a little red and blue guys at the top left. Yeah. It was basically two match-in-chiefs that we just like changed a hue on in Photoshop. And then threw that up there as well. So he was back in like Web 1.0.

Pretty much. Pretty old. I found the first thing I ever Photoshoped the other day, it was in like a box of stuff. I made a Tonya Harding figure skating game for like EA, for like a fake commercial that we were filming. It was during the whole Tonya Harding thing. So I found the first thing I ever Photoshopped and it was when I worked here because I didn't use Photoshop, but it was Ashley over my shoulder.

I'm like, I do what now? Was it a year? I think the first thing I Photoshopped was a picture of Gus. Was it really? Yeah about 12 years ago. It was so powerful that tool. First thing I Photoshopped probably would have been, I probably changed the colors on some fairies in high school. You probably fake that website so you get credentials to go to E3.

Oh no I absolutely did that but that was the after-i-learned Photoshop. That was post-fairy? Yeah. After your fairy face. That's my fairy face. I got you. I absolutely did fake my credentials to get into E3 the first time. No, the first two years. The first year, it was me and my boyfriend of the time. And the second year, it was us. And then, like, of course, all of our friends. It was fantastic. Yeah. Wait, why would you just forge documents? No, I made a website. Like I made a website and then everyone I made to everyone submit articles and everything. But like I started the way I started in the industry in

the first place was I made my very first thing was an American McGee's Alice fan site. You know, you have to tell people that. Also, when to look like context. Keep that to yourself. It's really cool. And but I went from there into building a couple of websites and then I wanted to make a general one and that's how we got into E3. Nice. Nice. What's this about a previous boyfriend?

I don't know about this. Well, we're at the other day. That was so fun. You were like, my husband, you were like, wait a second. There's been a second. I'm so sorry I had to be here to shoot this. So I guess they just talked about a second boyfriend. It's like two boyfriend. It's like, two boyfriend.

Two boyfriend? How dare you. Yeah, because my first two boyfriend's had the same name. I learned so much over where we're gonna go to eat. Chipotle. Chipotle. No, we're Chipotle. Do you guys always go to lunch together?

You three? What's that? No. Not, typically, I just know you never take your love the girlfriend to lunch, though. It's true. We've not won't spend until lunch together. But we want her to free them.

We want to live together. We want to live together. And because because so do they and they also go to lunch. But we were going to lunch and so and I saw makes it. I'm always like the sad like I can throw a piti Chipotle. Thank you. Thank you. Honestly I don't like going out for lunch. Liger. I just like to and you do every day. You go out with Jeff and all those boys every day I've been to the lunch with Jeff for months. I basically run to wait she being back My favorite thing to do is to ruin Gavin's lunch the best thing was when I think last time damn was in town And they were walking back with went to which which when they went to which which where you order your own sandwich to dance I'll fuck up or

No, we went in his car. But they were walking. Boy, Dan has a car. Well, he rents one. When he comes in town. Mm hmm. What? Dan's a man. Dan doesn't even live here.

He just gets here and he rents a car. Did I tell you that your mom talked to me about that when we were in Italy? I don't know. His mom talked to you? Yes, mom was driving. I let's give Meg the floor. What did Gavin's mom say to you?

Talk to his mom. His mom and his sister were both like, do you think Gavin would learn to drive this year? We were both worried that they were worried about him. Do you encourage him to learn to drive? Like am I helping you learn to drive enough? I'm not like I don't I don't think he will learn to drive. Do you feel that you're like uphold the American image

when you meet with Gavin's family? Uh, I don't feel like I have I drive the You feel that they're like uphold the American image when you meet with Gavin's family Now I don't feel like I have I feel like I'm representing my country. It's not the Olympics Do you think me caught at any point? No, I would smoke cigarettes like like they say when do you think a learn to drive go? Let me tell you something sweetie I'm a gun for Christmas this year For four in July put a plan on my gun We were in Italy for the fourth of July

Yeah, it was a very patriotic yeah they they've the stave stop celebrating 4th of July in Italy they've really let it go anyway we were just Italy having a depends day from what from what they were never independent of anything well I only ever heard of one independence day. What? Is it like Mexican independence day? Yeah, that's a lot. Not many of them are mine.

But there's also, there's also Canadian independence day. Australia has Australia day. So, well I mean a lot of stuff came out of the British Empire. But, do they have that? We're all, everyone is celebrating one thing. I'm not being part of you anymore. What's your big day, the big like the equivalent of? Is it called like lost all of our sweet British day? I assume it would be the same day. Queen's your big day, the big like the equivalent of? Is it called like lost all of our sub-brit-say?

I assume it would be the same day. Queen's the first day maybe? I assume it would be Saint George's day, which is in May I think. What's that about? It's when uh Saint George killed the last dragon. Get the fuck out of here. What? That was a bit of a thing?

I love how you think we're assholes for celebrating not having you guys around anymore, but you're like, yay dragons! I mean we nailed it. We started the Empire. What were we gonna celebrate, Leven? My favorite thing was Gavin and I for start dating was that he didn't know anything about American history whatsoever. So, he'd be like, when we were talking about the Revolutionary War, and you were like, oh yeah, we sent like five guys that. We didn't care that you guys were leaving. I'm like, so wrong, so wrong, yeah. The thing is about history in my school was that you learn about St George killed the dragon

Yeah, yep, he's right We know reassess that It's a little dragon made up wank, but that's what we celebrate. I think it's like England day St George's day What do you think the dragon actually was if you're George? Because you're not saying George until he's giving you the same hood Yeah, you're really just George I'm gonna say but when they're going I was at what it is but when they're talking about it You just like uh-huh. Yeah, go the dragon

Yeah, that was totally good. It was huge but every every even every legend Every Fib has a basis in truth right what was that dragon was dragon was like a celamander like I just made it up Well, there are dragons it might have just been a little commoto dragon in England Yeah, you know Pangaea and then and then dragons and England a British are you Anyway, what I'm saying is that you learn some things in history you learn about you know the shooters You learn about you learn about the fake dragons

You learn about all this like British stuff Actually, I learned about JFK which is American, but that was it I never learned about all the people that left and went to form other countries. There's a big deal for you But was it though? It was it was a big deal and you're just like always Did they just basically give India back in Hong Kong? There's no way we gave a lot back. Yeah.

I guess you guys are really hard for America. You did. Which is weird because Canada was peaceful independence. Australia was peaceful independence. At that point, the UK, England was just like, yeah, go ahead. How's it like the France kicked in? Yeah, well France is the only reason we actually have a country And a very very nice statue. Yes, and then they fought us like

eight years later or some such 20 years later. We're battling now. No, America even though it's so recent in age It has a lot of messed up history Yeah, but so cruelty from the government. Okay, to be fair like when like what when they were at war with Japan and all of the Japanese people in America got put into a camp That's they were Americans. It's very very to be fair. There was several Point. Yeah, you know one camp, but either way And obviously you're a CK. Yes, yeah, obviously grew up in an internment. Obviously England is awful too history. Go ahead We're so we're so old

We go fight we go back really fast It's like people were worse back then you just have so much ground to cover that you only get to hit the really major points The US is young enough that you can like dwell on every little yeah, the US is like every every little internment camp can like dwell on every little yeah every every little internment camp well we'll say one thing about America though but why America does the thing where we have a lot of different races in one place and traditionally most other countries don't have that that's not true and we that's absolutely true and they they just did it I have not seen anything but white people English English loads now but it wasn't always not even now. No, I've not won not white person

in the game. I live in a very classic farmer market town in the south of England. There's not many different races there, but you know London in places loads. But also Birmingham. The whole world is not London and America either, right? So what? I guess it's true. So we have on display a lot, a lot of the racial tensions in America, but when you go to other countries Racism is entirely different because there's nobody of different races when you go to those places And it's way more intense in those other places Just we keep all over issues at the forefront all the time and we put them on display basically Yes, they're not trying to hide that we don't try to hide them Australia is actually like very racist as well

But it's bizarrely like casually racist like on Australia like on Australia day when they're like it's it's like the equivalent of Fourth of July everyone's one around with bats getting into race wars. Yeah Fritz and right what do you I went to burning down some town that was known for it like it was a great It was a great Australia day a great australia day had a lovely time at the beach and there were a whole bunch of people walking on the batts just in case of fun times it was super weird

really supporting my boy yeah that's way more intense well that's why you feel like we live in texas and there are places in texas there are still not enough all the enough one of the most law abiding countries there is well i'm not a listen i'm not saying america doesn't have racial tension that's not the point i was

remake i'm saying that the rest of the world sometimes acts like we're the only ones that have a racial tension that is not at all the case that's not that is not the case hey talk about the guy shot the dentistry shot the lion yet uh... on the spot here's a news i read the line

i read an article saying that his brother who's been protecting the Cubs Jericho got killed. Yeah, it turns out he hasn't. Yeah, I should've asked a lot of you know it turns out he is also a lion. Yes. Which was written in the CNN news story. His brother who is also a lion. Oh really? That was actually the word I could call that out. Yeah. I got to read you a quote. Hopefully I can find this before His brother his brother who buys some quirk of fate is half cheetah His brother who happens to be a giraffe Yeah, damn I got to find this article. I might have saved it I think I saved it on my desktop computer. Oh, do you remember that story about the two giraffes that were being

Transpoiled down the the motorway that were just stood in the truck bed? Was that like, was that a hangover joke? No. Was it, was it happened in the trailer that I hangover thing? No, it happened in the trailer that I hangover thing. Apparently one of the giraffes banged its head on a bridge and died. Yeah, that's in the trailer for the hangover, the last hangover movie. I mean, the second one was...

I haven't seen the movies, but I just saw the trailer. The first one was good. The second one was... Have you were there? There was three. I don't know and the third one was not even see it never saw the third one. Oh here it is I can't wait from this article. This is probably one of the best things ever Cool I'm gonna be on one section of it. Okay, it was there my decalous cage And he hit and he woke up and there was a comb There was a guy a stalker in his house. Oh, yes

Danie the foot of his bed It eating a bicycle. He's naked eating your funcicles It says in Nicholas Cage it was it was two in the morning. I was living in Orange County at the time and was asleep with my wife My cheerlead time was in another room I opened my eyes and there's a naked man wearing my leather jacket eating a Fudge in front of my bed. I was terrified. Hold on. And then the article says right after that, a fudge is a chocolate frozen treat. Why is that? Why is that the clarification point? They want to make it. Here's a question. Was it in fact a frozen treat or was it an entirely

different kind of fudge sickle? I know. If there's a dude at the foot of your bed, naked, wearing your jacket and eating anything, are you sure it's actually an ice cream punch sickle? I don't know. Nicholas came just punch sickle. Oh, did he bring it in? I didn't clarify that. Once again, they'll leave me all the important stuff. I love that. It's like that whole scenario and then they immediately clarify. A punch sickle is a chocolate food trick. Do you think that that's like they went into the writers meeting there like, all right,

great. The editor is like, yeah, looking over your, your article here looks good. I do think some viewers might not know what a Fudge cycle is so I'm going to need you to go ahead and clarify at the very end here. What is that much cycle like that? I got actually right here. It's the Reuters article. I will post this in the journal. It is. He was eating a Fudge school in front of my bed. He told reporters. I know it sounds funny, but it was very, very horrifying. A Fudge school is a frozen ice cream like smack. And it's Reuters. Also you call it Reuters.

What do I say that's Reuters? You call it Reuters? I call it Reuters, yeah. It's Reuters. It's like a quote, but it's a quote. Which is, yeah. Yeah, the news people, the news people like you don't quote yourself.

Otherwise the whole Akoa would be a quote. So I just like the idea of like, that's what's about to up, says Reuters. quote. It is like the idea of like that's it's about to up says Reuters. We actually speaking of stuff in words. We were going on about a different gift. I don't know we're not going to argue. We were I listen, do you made a point in the car? I did. That finally made me see the the the reason for calling it a gif. And now you can't remember the argument you made. I can come up with something similar. It was basically this. English makes no sense.

Sure, no, it's a mess. It's a mess. But that's just an argument why we should be able to call a gift. Yes, sure. Anything that's cool realized is right. But it gets into like you can't say G, G is never just one sound.

It's two sounds, you can choose what it is. What do you mean, G is never one sound? It can be a G or a G. You're also once again arguing, they can go both ways. Sure. So I can say G. But the idea is if you make a word, you decide how the word sounds, right? Yeah. So the guy who made GIF, guess to decide how it sounds, right? But you can't tell some other names. You can't tell some other names. But I can't tell you how your name is pronounced. I can't say your name is mag or me

Me no, but you do get all the me but people call me megan all the time megan or megan No, but megan people get to decide how their names are pronounced right right there They're crazy out left field name sure no, what's it? He's name something you can't name your kid something and someone else goes name is Jeff. It's golf right? Well, this guy named it Jeff. That's I'm saying Yeah, but I'm already no longer with you now. It's not a name. It's a noun and Colloquially it's a word so yeah, but it is a noun. It's a word that guy made and decided how it sounded It's a name sure. Well, it's not a name. It's not a name most

Jeff It's not a name it's not a name most G words. Oh Jeff It's a name though. Yeah That I have it said already giraffe yeah, I already said giraffe earlier if I'm just having a bridge French you can't be put in the middle. Let's go start with the G Cons we put it in the middle. Let's go start with the G Right so no Jeff no giraffe a G what the starts with the George A name It's a new word gender sure, but I didn't

Here we go. There we go. So this is our own spot. Gentlemen. No, yeah, you're nailing it now. Gentlemen, it's good. My point fell apart. Again. It's mostly good. Well, here's the thing. I was just telling Gavin the Octopities spiel, which if you've never seen the Octop,

like Google OctopitiesDictionary.com, there's a woman who explains that. No, what I've seen that, by the way. Go ahead. Octopi is actually wrong because it's a Greek word and the Greek plural is octopities I so is octopodes octopolimics talk to us to the other day and I'm it's true that it's truly its octopities is the correct word but colloquially octopi has been so accepted that it is also correct so gif would also be correct because colloquially it's

also accepted okay the fair point but I would also want to point out to you. I don't like the fact that if we get stuff wrong long enough, it becomes right. I also don't like that. Do you with it? Oh, shit, hold on. Juggle, Georgia. That's all that's up spilling you. I also think it's a gif.

I don't think it's a gif. What the ex-hub is this giant panda? Oh, come on. What's that? There was a deal with it glasses and I did the whole like slow come down and they do it. You know what I mean? We need that like on a rope You try to get it right. Yeah, those aren't great glasses. I Think you think I don't know I just as well. I don't think we should end the podcast at some point. Yeah

Oh, yeah, I guess it's here. So we probably should do that. Well, there's no one doing it. Oh should we just keep going? You're in the chair. How long will they stay in there working? I will read the let me read what they have to say on the on the website real quick And then we'll go other socks. Oh, I should point out that I'm wearing my socks from Olga Kay gave me these socks. These are mousse walks. Let's get a close up. We promised our close up There we go. No, we don't need to close up. That's fine. I can do this. I'm one of these Whoever owns the other one of these big Patrick does you close up because I want it on that camera? Whoever owns the other one of these big Patrick does you close up because I want it on that camera Burn it there we go. No, I got a zoom magazine. Bernie is this the other like did this come with him? No, those are mine. Oh All right, we've lost control here on the couch. I don't know where you're going. I've got a lot of our chests

It was a very complete Do you yeah? Yeah, oh, you just feel like lighter? We can talk about this later I'm ready to say this is a safe place Gavin anything you want to get off your chest about your relationship No, I like it. I'm happy I feel like Bernie just loaded that because he wants to say something. I'm fine. I'm fine Oh, wait, are we guys? You maybe spent too much time on the cat, but that's okay knowing the cat was gonna come back anyway It's all good wait, what about the cat too much time on the cat but that's okay knowing the cat was gonna come back anyway. It's all good. Wait, what? What about the cat? Too much time on the cat. Hmm.

We built it. It was like two weeks of our lives trying to find that stupid cat. It's like, we hired so many people and in the end someone just like read the number on his collar and called it. Do you have to do this a tag in the collar? Some glasses on them. They do. They say pun glasses.

All right, we want to thank you for watching the Rushi's podcast. We have RTX this week. So next week when we are on the screen, we'll be very tired. So the next podcast will be the one that we recorded RTX, right? We will record it at RTX. So the time after that will be very tired. We want to thank our sponsors, NatureBox, Squarespace, and Pizza Hut.

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