Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Great Labor Day Cereal Debate - #508

Episode Date: September 4, 2018

Join Gus Sorola, Jon Risinger, Burnie Burns, and special guest Nick Scarpino as they discuss pizza, stand-up comedy, San Francisco, and more on this week's RT Podcast! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only on Peacock. Oh, you're listening to Rooster Teeth Podcast number 508. If you hear something you would like to see from this episode, visit RoosterTeeth.com. Oh, really? Yeah, everyone. Welcome to the Rooster Teeth Podcast. This week brought to you by BabySama. Oh, we'll be in the butt.

BabySama. Oh, we'll be in the butt. BabySama. Oh, we'll be in the butt. BabySama. Oh really? Everyone, welcome to the RC Podcast. This week brought to you by BabySama. Oh, babySama. BabySama. How you say it? BabySama. I'm a really bunch.

That's my neck, hi. I'm John. I'm pretty. I'm Gus. We're introductions ever. We're a little frazzled. We're pre-taping. It's a surprise.

Literally, Speed's just showed up. Okay. I. We were a little frazzled. It's, uh, we're pre-taping. It's, uh, it's a... Literally, the speeds had just showed up. Okay. I want to tell a story. Just put them on. We just said, North, we said here for 30 minutes, wait. I ran for stories, depending on the people you could be here.

When we go. Take the podcast. You go ahead, come in, ruin the shot. No, it's not ruined. Normally, when we take the podcast on Monday night, we used to tape at 7th or it used to be live at 7th or 30, so we would have food. Uh, so people could eat. We would pull. That's better. Put the, put the podcast on Monday night. We used to tape at 7th or it used to be live at 7th 30. So we would have food. So people could eat, we move.

But Paul, that's better. Put the, put the pole up. We're not live, dude. We moved, we moved the time to five o'clock. Yeah. And we stopped getting food because it was so early, but then Gavin complained because he was hungry. Gavin free.

So we could start getting food again. So every week, before we go live. We can play. There's food today at about 11 o'clock, we're There's food. Today at about 11 o'clock, we're taping at noon at about 11 o'clock. I walked over. I was like, I'm going to get my seat. I'm going to start prepping for the podcast. There's probably going to be some food. I'll eat some food. No food. All right. That's fine. You know, I said Eric, bad Eric, bad Eric told me that the food would be here. I was like, all right. That's fine.

Food shows up like cool. Walk over there to go look at the food. It's all, the broadcast crew all ordered food for themselves. It's all bags with their names on it. Individual food, there's no food for Gus. That's the thing that I have to ask. No food for the cast. So then Bad Eric says, oh, don't worry, there's pizza on the way. It'll be here around noon.

I said, we're taping at noon. The fucking pizza showed up right as we're going. Do you call him bad Eric because he's bad at his job? Is that why? No, there's just better Eric's. There's better Eric's. Which one's bad Eric? Is that better?

That's the best Eric. Good Eric works at the know. Oh, this good Eric know that you can't talk to you at the same time. Talk to each other. He's good at. So I appreciate that they ordered each of us a pizza. Yeah, so everyone stick into your pizza. Yeah, that's great.

Just let me get alert about it's healthy. I mean, Johnny's healthy, but that's about it. John and Blaine, that's about it. With Gus, I literally had a discussion today about that we have one of the coolest things about working with RishiT. Yeah. We have snacks. Yeah, oh, yeah.

We have a lot there. And you guys have a lacroy for days, apparently. I'm done with it. I'm done with it. How many cases of La Croix is there? We still have, you probably 200 cases of La Croix sitting out in the office outside. You guys can collect a pillow. Have we got any of these?

We have no space. Have you had the Nikola? No, I don't. It's actually the one La Croix that I like. It's like cola flavored, sparking water. It's actually really good. It's like a clear coat. That needs to be said.

I don't like La Croix. I'd like the Nikola. That means. I don't like LaCroix. I'd like then you cool. Okay, well I'll try that then because I can't stand LaCroix. It's not that you're literally wearing the shirt. You guys can get this in the store. I actually don't think you can get on the store anymore. I don't think we can get on the store anymore. The stores also don't look like that.

Yeah, this is our, a LaCroix inspired. LaCroix inspired. It's shirt. We didn't copy it. LaCroix boys are forever though. Which is a great thing. We both got this shirt. Thank God. No, it's not that I know.

We're a La Croix office for sure. I just don't like sparkling water. I can't get into it. It has to have more of a taste. La Croix is like drinking sparkling water while smelling something else. I would let La Croix a lot more if it came in a bottle.

Because I agree with you. And the thing I was just a boccico. The thing I always smell is the can. Yeah. So I feel like is the can. Yeah. So I feel like I'm drinking penny water. Don't they also have an impressive bottle? Come to us. I've never seen a bottle.

I've never seen a bottle. I feel like I've seen it. Everything. Johnny, have your hand up? Does the smell of a can affect your experience with the soda? I'm just saying it's all metallic. Answer the question. Is it the case on your teeth?

He's saying like that. Like I agree with the flavor of La Croix. I agree with that. There's no flavor. It's kind of like they just bottled it or canned it and someone just came in the room and shouted, and grapefruit! Yeah, that was it.

That's the flavor. They missed it a great. Like it's right. That's what they do. They whisper it into the cans as they do it and then really quickly seal it. You're gonna be pomegranate. Like this is what it's like right here.

It's like if this were a la Croix, it would just taste like normal sparkling water. And then we just say it smells like pizza. But it doesn't actually taste like. And that's why Gus says, I don't get the experience of La Croix completely. It's weird. It's weird.

I don't know if you know that it's John can't smell. John can't smell. Yeah, I did not know that. So his, so La Croix for him is all sparkling water. It's just all sparkling water. It's just a texture. Yeah, that's weird. Come on. They're not showing you that. They're, so the crew for him is all sparkling water. Just all sparkling water. You just, just a texture. Yeah, that's weird. Come on.

He's, they're not showing you that. They're showing the, the croix. My little red light came on. No, no, they're showing it. Okay. See, this is what's live. And that's what they have cute.

There's a giant pizza box in my head. I thought that was the live one. All right. One piece of pizza for the wall. That's it. Yeah, because the discussion I had with Gus in the kitchen was, he was getting a bold cereal to tie himself over. So we have little cereal dispensers,

which is like the coolest thing ever. I agreed. And then we have milk in the fridge. And Gus was cereal. It'd be the hardest thing for me to say no to on a daily basis. Well, you'll like this, Johnny, you eat healthy. This is how far removed I am from eating healthy. I said to Gus, I go,

ah, hey Gus, one time I was getting a bowl of cereal here and we didn't have milk. Oh, he told me about him doing that. Instead, I used half and half. Oh, yeah, I found that. And I was like, bowl of cereal here and we didn't have milk. He'll tell me about him doing that. It's that I used half and half. Oh yeah, I found that. And I was like, haha, I guess because I've done that too. And there was this long pause and I go, it was delicious. It was so good.

It's like it's like lukewarm ice cream. It is. It's like eating ice cream. It was cereal in it. And to make it worse, I think it was cinnamon toast crunch. I haven't had this. There's nothing redeeming about that meal. Oh, no, that's absolutely.

Full cream and cereal. Well, I don't know what could possibly be. Hey, it's low carb. The cream is very low carb. The cinnamon toast crunch is all carb. It's just might be cinnamon toast carb is what it is. This is the thing, once you hit the fact that when you're eating breakfast cereal,

you can't kid yourself into thinking that's health anymore. No. So why give a shit? We're the half-naff on top of it. Remember when I was a kid? I'm just living my best life here. You live your best life. That's not how that worked. It's still mathematically possible to not have more than what you're already doing.

Once you've gone over the cliff, just keep following. Just enjoy the fall. I remember all those commercials when I was a kid trying to convince you that breakfast cereal is actually good for you. We thought? Part of a balanced breakfast. Yeah, I mean, sure, I guess. Well, that was like,

that was like, I'm gonna put the paper away, like it's still holding down the net. That's like the myth of the food pyramid that we were taught, which the bottom was just, the majority of your diet should be all grains, with no specifications of what those grains were. And so then they were like,

oh look, cereal's a grain, so just shove it in kids. There was also this weird shift the country went through when we went from being a wheat country, like amber waves of grain to corn country. We're a corn country. And like everything we make is corn base.

And somehow corn falls into grains, I guess. Corn is also a really, I got this wrong on a podcast once. Maybe they can look it up, but it's evidently it is a starchy vegetable. No, it's a grain. But it's a grain when it's dried. Is that what it is?

It makes sense, yeah. So if you're eating a corn on the cob, it's designated differently than if it's dried out. What by who? Who designated as a vegetable when it's... The people who were in the comment section of that video that were ripping me apart. No, wait, who drives corn out?

Who can't say that? What are you talking about? Who drives corn out? Well, when you make tortilla chips, that's when it becomes a grain, evidently. I got a corn. No, I got a corn. Do you think a popcorn is a grain or do you think a popcorn is a vegetable?

It's not a grain, but it's made by a grain. That's got to be a grain, it's a grain. What does it do? It goes through transformation? Yeah, that's a chemical reaction. I mean, it's still grain-based. That's the corn. It's actually a vegetable.

A grain and a frizz. Zero-absolutely absolutely zero chemicals involved. Does he involve a chemical reaction? Does the harvest for eating, corn, it's the grain, it's the dry feet of a dry feet. It's a little like the structure. It's a fruit,

that's the botanical definition. So it's technically a fruit, that's weird. So what you're doing when you heat popcorn, is there's a little bit of water and you're evaporating that but expands, is it heats up, it pops up popcorn your evaporating method expands, is it heat? So it pops up popcorn up. Isn't that considered a chemical reaction?

I wouldn't think so now. I think that's more of a chemical reaction. I think the point you make is a chemical reaction? Is it? No, just heating it. Chemical reaction is like you get a... But the chemical reaction happens within the air. Really?

You need a reagent. Oh my God. I did not know there was gonna be science on this podcast. I know. I am. Is it like a nightmare like? I do not know how the actual ends. You're gonna look down.

You're in your underwear? No, I don't know. I came up on China. We need to balance the chemical equation. I just Google stuff now. It's popcorn, whatever the chemical formula for that is, plus H2O, plus heat, arrow, and then you got to balance it all out. We're big with carcass.

That's all stoichiometry. Um, no, I mean, I'm good carc guy. Good carc guy. So you don't normally eat corn then. Like corn's not one of the other. I'll just go eat theometry. No, I mean, I'm good carb guy. Good carb guy. So you don't normally eat corn then. Like corn's not one thing I would. I eat yellow corn tortillas on occasion because they're better than any other tortilla options. Yeah, I just yellow corn.

For some reason, I mean, I'd have to look it up. Like a lot of things that I've looked up as to what I should eat. I've forgotten the exact details, but yellow corn's supposed to be a little bit better than like regular corn. I don't know, I could be, I could be guessing it. Maybe it's even just the flavor at this point. I like the flavor of the yellow corn is supposed to be a little bit better than like regular corn. I don't know, I could be, I could be guessing it. Maybe it's even just the flavor at this point.

I like the flavor of the yellow corn better. Well, I just wanna be clear. Cinnamon Toast Crunch with half and half is a great car. Let me ask you a great car. Let me ask you this question. It's a tasty car. It's an awesome car. It's a tasty, tasty, tasty, tasty,

and a little bit of a tasty crunch in the pantheon of breakfast cereal. It's the best. Listen, this is a real personal thing. I actually like super starchy stuff. So my favorite cereal of all time is rice checks. Oh my god. I can't eat rice.

Whoa. Were you born an old man? Yeah. For sugar on top of that. I'm not even shredded wheat. What's wrong with you? I just need, I was like, Did anybody ever have the actual like brick of shredded wheat?

Yeah. I've grown up eating, that's a joke. Mini shredded wheat. Which is now just actually just shredded wheat. Cause no one actually gets the brick of shredded wheat. Yeah, I've grown up eating mini shredded wheat, which is now just actually just shredded wheat, because no one actually gets the brick version. For the frosted version. I don't even know they make the unfrosted version, do they?

They, I don't know. No, here's a fun fact. My wife one time was like, we saw a commercial for pop tarts. She goes, what do they start putting frosting on top of pop tarts? And I'm like, where did you grow up? What a set of European country to grow up in? I knew those existed, but I never saw anybody eat a plain part.

Oh, they're a bigger part of a balanced breakfast. Yeah, exactly. See what I was like, I was like, we have that night, I'm like, we're going to get frosted pop tarts for you because my wife had never had them. Isn't that weird? And I got all of them. Well, not all of them. I got the main three flavors.

If you're eating a s'mores pop tart, you're a monster. Get away from me. Get away from me. That is not get away from me. It's scary, strawberry or the brown brown sugar. It's good. It's more. It's good. The smores is good. It's good. Number the, no, no. I am recalled. So you're, you're, you're, it's too far away from the norm. So cinnamon toast crunch is great. What smores pop tarts are not. There's two things you can't fake. You can't fake smores. Like they have smores flavored stuff. So cinnamon toast crunch is great. What's more's pop tarts are not the rubbish. There's two things you can't fake. You can't fake s'mores.

Like they have s'mores flavored stuff. It's always wrong. Just like salted caramel is good when it's salted caramel and that's it. If they try to make salted caramel ice cream or shake something like that, I don't know what that flavor is, they use it. It's fucking horrible.

Yeah, get that outta here. It's garbage at these things. I did. I did love it. Fire of the balance. Yeah, talking about the balance breakfast. Oh, that's seven here. Garbage at these things. I did. I did love it. Part of a balance. Yeah, talking about the balance breakfast. Oh, that's seven vitamins. Seven that's, oh, fuck.

I used to love when they showed the balance breakfast here because it was like eggs and like water. We're like, there was like a milk maybe. The balance breakfast image was always a bowl of cereal and then a plate with toast. Yeah. And then orange juice. So it's just sugar and bread and then bread

and then more sugar. And there was like, just sugar and bread and then bread and then more sugar And there's like there's no protein anywhere on the board. There might have been a banana there, which is again It's just more sugar. It's so crazy. It's hardly ever an egg in those images That was the period to that was in the period when eggs were bad Oh, we had to have it had to have like PR campaign. Yeah, telling you the eggs weren't as bad as you think Yeah, the whole egg industry went to the incredible edible Yeah, I remember that remember they tried to like push eggs on you. Yeah, look at that.

That's a balanced bracket. There's two cereals. There's no protein in that entire meal. It's a bill. No fat. No meal has a little bit maybe. By the way, who's eating cereals with pineapple chunks in it? The poll is doing that.

The polls are the die of the day. The whole of life is made up. The pills are the diabetes. The pills are the diabetes. The pills are the actual nutrition. Everything I wanted is just like the argument pill and a statin. That's helping with your blood pressure. Why does the Cheerios have pineapple in it? What is that? Who the hell eats pineapple? Is that pineapple?

I think it is. It's not banana chunks. It's banana in the, it what's the other bowl of whatever. That's like the next degree of pineapple on pizza. It's pineapples on Cheerios. First off, the pineapple lobby's gonna crash out with the pineapple. The pineapple on pizza debate is ridiculous.

Agreed. Pineapple is fine on pizza. No, it's fine. You put every wine on pizza. But it's explaining me why it's not fine for it to be on pizza. I understand why you wouldn't prefer it, but why is it not okay?

Sweet. No pineapples in Italy. You never have anything sweet and savory. Not on a pizza. Yes. Why? But why? You miss it? It's not it's not right. It's unnatural. It's it's not the Bible explicitly says that shall not sweeten thy pizza. It's the Exodus 4-3. Double by by. Double by by. I expect way too much time in church, okay? I'm not some extra grin that is not what it says. not sweeten thy pizza. It's the Exodus 4-3. Don't let my mind go. I expect way too much time in church, okay?

I'm not to my chagrin that is not what it says. Just stuck around longer. They get to it later. I went to a Baptist university. Did you really? I have a degree from a Christian university. Do you really? I do, yeah.

That's hilarious. I went to Catholic school until a third grade and then I just walked into my parents' room and I'm like, I'm done. Yeah. I, I'm not doing I have a visual arts degree from I just gonna do this from now on I don't know man Whatever he whatever you never wait so yours is Rice checks what is yours also fruity pebbles?

Yeah, they go they So fruity pebbles. Oh, no. Free pebbles. Nobody likes fruity pebbles. Nobody likes fruity pebbles. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee.

I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee.

I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go for coffee. I'm gonna go system though. I like it when I coding that thing with all cereal is a race and a strategic game on when you put the milk in and how quickly you you need to eat it in order to have maximum crunch all the down unless you're eating fucking sludge call for the pebbles. I just read on Reddit. I got to say they're talking about

weird things that you do that other people don't. And uh, excuse me. I'm not done eating pizza on the podcast. Uh, he talked about his dad, as soon as he, who, when he eats cereal, he gets a bowl of milk and a bowl of cereal, and then he takes a spoonful of cereal, dips it in the milk and- And cereal? It's brilliant!

This guy's brilliant! That's a great way to eat cereal. That is one of the things where you fix the problem, but then you also ruin, I think, cereal experience by doing that, because I think part of the great cereal experience is just sitting there with a big old bowl of sugary nasty. Well, you're also not getting the best part of the cereal, which is once the cereal itself

is done, you've got the flavor and milk, especially if you have cinnamon, toast crunch, especially with the CT crunch. So there was a trend for wild bars. I mean, sure this happened in San Francisco where they would make drinks out of cereal milk. Yeah. They would use cocoa pebbles milk as the basis for the rest of the cocktail. The cocktail. Basically, that's what it is.

Yeah. I mean, it's like, but it was such a great idea to put that in there because you're like, I'm definitely going to get whatever this fucking cocktail is. Did anybody mess with Reese's Puffs? Uh, yeah, a little bit. Reese's Puffs. That was a little after my time. A little after my cereal time too.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm glad you said that. You don't want to like venture out into new cereals? Like, I could have said. I don't eat cereal really anymore. I need it. like venture out into new cereals? Like I could have a cereal age. I don't eat cereal really anymore. I like bad Eric fucks up my lunch order and I have to eat cereal with a fork to time me over before the podcast starts.

What are the spoons? Why don't we have spoons? We have no spoons in the goddamn building. What did you select from the Lucky Charms? Is that what you had? Okay. Cause there's a new grown up version of Lucky Charms which are the fucking freeze dried

strawberries or whatever they get. Oh, I saw those. Yeah. Right next to them. They creep me out a little bit. I don't want to. Serial is a gut. I thought meal for me at this point.

I thought the adult version of Lucky Charms was alphabets because it's the same thing just without the marshmallows. Yeah, that makes it horrible. What? Alphabets. I used to pick out all the marshmallows from Lucky Charms and just eat those. Oh, yeah, of course. And then my brother would be super pissed and go to pour himself a bowl of it because

there'd be nothing. You could do it in the park. Oh, yeah, I'd go in and like, actually, like, I mean, I had nothing to do as a child growing up in a reverse outcome. I had nothing. Is there anything? Oh, yeah, it's right. I could have said, I could have said, I could have said, I lived.

It was nothing. There's, yeah. You've been there. Yeah. Well, they built a lot, but definitely not in the 80s. Well, it's better now. Yeah, in the 80s, there was this. You can buy those now, bulk. Can you?

You can buy it, because it's just like, it's basically just like starting. It was someone in the booth just went, oh, see, that's, that right there is a bad time. That's called a bowl of disappointment. Yeah, that's terrible. I'm never a big lucky time. I remember, it's not a bit, right?

If depression was a serial, that's what it would be. One of my favorite things my parents, my mom ever did in my life, to us, was that she used to get regular Cheerios for herself and then Honeynut Cheerios for me and my brother growing up. But my mom also doesn't like when things are out of order. So if, like she's kind of anal,

so like when the bins that she, she would pour them into Tupperware, so they would stay longer. Yeah. Because my brother and I were animals, we just rip open the box. I have also the bag. Why didn't they prove that?

I don't know. It's terrible. Yeah. So one day for whatever reason, we were used to just pouring the Tupperware. She decided to consolidate the two. And she poured the regular Cheerios into the Honey Nut Cheerios

and like mixed them up like we wouldn't notice. Like when you used to like nip off your dad's booze and you were kid and you'd full of water. You'd have like, am I dying? We thought we were, like I thought I was losing my sense booze. Yeah, yeah. And you'd full of water. You'd have like, my diet, we thought we were, like I thought I was losing my sense of taste. Cause I was like, I don't understand why these Cheerios keep getting like less and less honey nutty.

It was messed up. Man, I have a kind of a gross story. Let's go. I can't eat honey nut Cheerios to this day. Oh boy. Cause one time when I was a kid, you're gonna ruin these for life. Yeah, no, no, no.

It's just like honey. I'm worried not having about this story. I was visiting my grandmother. And I ruin these for life, right? Yeah, no, no, it's just like honey. It's just more not having this story. I was visiting my grandmother, and I remember I woke up early and I went, nobody else was awake and I poured myself shit, some honey nut cherries, I poured myself a bowl of honey nut cherries, put the milk in. I must have eaten the bowl too fast

or something finished everything, and I was like, man, my stomach's kinda hurts. And I did that thing where I needed to vomit, and I did that thing. Where, like you feel like you know you're gonna vomit. So like, I vomit, And I did that thing where I needed to vomit. You know you're gonna vomit. So I vomit, but I can't make it to the bathroom, so I hold it all in my mouth.

Holy moly. And then I swallow it. Oh my God. So to this day, anytime I taste or I smell honeynut Cheerios, I think about being like 10 years old with a mouth full of honeynut Cheerio vomit. It's like I can't eat that.

Two things about the story. honey nut tears are still great. The second thing is, no one else has ever done that ever. No one else vomit in their mouth and then swallowed it. No, I was like, I'm saying it. I really live it when you say that like the normal thing, I did that thing where you vomit in your own mouth. No, I did that swallow a lot. I did that thing where I knew I was gonna vomit.

Right. But you just, you specifically said you threw up in your mouth and then swallowed a mouth a little. Like that was the common thing. I mean, swallow a whole new story. First of all, isn't that what a frog man are supposed to do in the army? Like if you throw up in your mask when you're under, you just kind of like eat it slowly. Can we stop?

Hey, look, you can buy a frog man. You can buy a pound of marshmallows from Lucky Charles. I know. I can buy it from them. That's just, that's pure sugar. Did anybody ever eat the donut cereal? No, but I see cookie criss, which is pretty much just cookie.

Yeah, there was like a donut. Yeah, yeah, cookie criss, pretty good. I was like sprinkled donuts. Pretty good. Well, Greg has that like, that's fucking stupid show he does with the Oreos. He's still doing it? Yeah, everyone's been a while.

I literally, every time I go through the Oreo aisle, I think of Greg. And I'm just like, I'm mad at myself for having that branding thing work. Yeah. I saw some weird Oreos in Tokyo the last time I was there. And I think I tweeted in my photos, like green tea Oreos or something.

And you said, yeah, we did a video on that one. And it sent me like a link back to the video. We, there was a while where people would just send us the most obscure Oreos possible. And Oreos is a lot, they do a lot of obscure flavors. And we've tried them all. And it's, it's trying to just had a wasabi. Yeah. And he just sent me a picture of that. I don't know why they're not chicken wing. Yeah. The best Oreo is made. It's called an Oreo. You don't need to add more. You are four pineapple on pizza, but you're against Oreos. Well, that's because

I think he's a double standard here. Not double standard. The Oreo is like an actual product in itself. Pizza is a customizable thing that was introduced as a customizable thing. And so I think the Oreo was, was that it's peak when it was just the Oreo. In fact, the only way they improved it was by going double-stuffed.

That's all they did. Red double-stuffed is worse. It's worse. It throws off the ratio of the Oreo. The only have less cream than cookie. The only better Oreo. No. The only better Oreo is the Oreo thin. No, you're all bright.

The Oreo thin is good. They don't stop at the park with the normal go. I will, there are a couple of things. Well, I get the fuck out of here. Shut up. That's Photoshop. Stop it. They'll pick all seals. See, now look, now look, just hold that up there real quick though. They have improved the packaging for Oreos.

Because now they do the thing that honors the way you actually eat them. Because now you just open the whole top of your thing up, like you're in one of those old medical theaters where everybody's watching. You know, and you just open the whole cavity up and just start eating out of the center. That's exactly the way people eat Oreos. But it's still to this day with fucking cereal, they have this shitty little cellophane bag that you can't reseal.

And whoever you live with, the other person's house always opens it wrong, you know? That was me. Yeah, I think Ashley cuts it with scissors, which is just like, what's wrong with you? Or you live with a person who it's clear how hard they work trying to open it, like parts of the bag or white man.

Yeah, I was like, I was like, go to the fucking gym, you can't open it, you got to get a cereal bag. You can't cut them open because then it just goes bad, it goes bad. You got to be able to have the role, you got to be able to have the role. Yeah, yeah. So a certain point you have the role. But you should not do any of that.

No, sit block. It just, it mystifies me though that you're right. I never thought about this before, Bernie. I'm glad you mentioned this. Why do they not just sell them in bags? They do. They're the generic ones. They do. No, no, no, no them pick out which one they want from the real ones

And I say okay now we're gonna get the bag version. No, no don't look Air what's still sugar? What's the worst cereal? So you always just said but oh grape nuts Great, but it's pretty bad absolute worst So good somebody lead it hot. Yeah, great. That's our great. You're awful. You're awful Some people eat it hot. Yeah, that's our great. You're awful. You're awful. Sugar smacks my brother You Fucking hated them so much because they have a weird they they taste like styrofoam They have a styrofoam consistent. Also. It's like what is it? It's like some kind of weird folded over green thing

It's like a puff, but is it corn? I don't know. What is it? I think the green I I think a puff, but is it corn? I don't know. Or is it some kind of plus? I think it's a grain. I just think it's a good one. I think the entire cereal aisle from start to finish, I would eat anything that's in that aisle.

Awful. Except grape. I would eat grape nuts. Look at that. What is in that bowl with that line in the middle of it? It's a frog-based cereal. It's a frog-based cereal. What is it?

And then it has eight vitamins, so. So it's way better than the s'mores pop tart. I love it. But to this day, though, do you ever way better than the Smores Pop Tart. I love it. But to this day though, do you still, do you ever just walk down the cereal aisle and just spend a little time there? Yeah. Cause I do.

I do some stuff. Oh, I mean, he's just walking and you're like, which one would I go for today? On the list of amazing things, it's to be an adult, like being able to buy whatever cereal I want. Yeah, pretty high up there.

Now that I'm scared of being fat, I don't buy it anymore. But like at the beginning when I first was like, I got a paycheck in a house. Like I can get any. It's pretty high up there. Now that I'm scared of being fatjoned, I don't buy it anymore. But at the beginning when I first was like, I got a paycheck in a house. Like, I can get any fucking thrill I want. I've done it. I have ascended. That is a wonderful turning point in every adult's life

where you realize you still have the things you like from your youth, but now you have a credit card. And now you can buy all of those. Well, every now and then I would have ice cream for dinner when When I was younger, it's like, I can do that. No one's going to go about me. It's called using a shirt teller. Yeah, I'd be like, hey, guess what I'm doing? You can ask him for dinner, bye.

I mean, it's like, no, no. Oh. Well, it's one of the great things about having kids. Did you get to introduce them to these things? Yeah. But then also, you're not prepared for the fact of like, oh, here, try this cereal, fruity pebbles. It's the best cereal there is.

They eat it like, this is terrible. I'm gonna have sugar smacks. You're like, the fuck is wrong with you? Like you're not like that. But you have this like core disappointment. But actually my kids, the big disappointment is, they refuse these cereal. They don't like it.

They don't like the milk cereal. I'm like, what the fuck? I like literally a breakfast. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? They're eating these nice breakfasts of like eggs and toast and everything. And I'm pilled. And I'm trying to force this horrible sugary like sludge

on them and they're just like, get that away from me. It's horrible. And I'm like, you're not real children. That's what that's all right. I'm terrified of having kids for that exact reason. I would be like, I would just be so worried that all of my addictions would just be passed down through me to them. Yeah. Or because they see dad eating like you do you talked about the Oreos that you open up. There's a reason why people open them up like that. It's because there's no illusions anymore. You're eating the whole thing for you. Yeah.

You're not eating what you're not. They before you used to slide them out and they'd be a little sleepy like me about, no, I'm gutting that thing from the inside out. I'm eating all of them and then I'm going to start to shake a little bit and just don't look at me. Yeah. Just don't look at me. I mean, Pringle should be the same way.

Is she you open the top, you should also be able to open the bottom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So vacuum still and all of the stuff all like you just like to write your job going in prepped. Yeah. Pringle.

Just taking a knife to the side of a Bringle's can. Exactly. She would say. I mean, it's like, it's like when you get to the bottom of the can, right? You already feel bad about yourself at that point. You don't need to be like shoving your hand into a tenet. it. I don't need I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't

need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need

to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't need to. I don't do that. I have standard, John. And you don't do that. I totally do that. I have no apologies about that. Oh, I was looking for... Oh, Christmas are good too. I was looking for generic cereal equivalents that I found the image. He was my favorite. Crispy hexagon.

It's educational. Hey kids, wanna learn what hexagons are? What? I remember, Chris Bix came out. One half of the side of the hexagon is corn and the other half is rice. But then they seal them together and I remember thinking as a kid,

how do they do that? I still honestly don't understand how they make like these. Chris Bix hexagon is the 11 patterns of this. How do they do that? I wanna see how this stuff is made. That's the only reason that TV show how it's made exists. And that's the only one I'm ever interested in

is I want to see them make food that I've eaten. Like it's like, we're going to show you how we make boat motors, I don't care. We're going to show you how we make crisps. Oh yeah, turn that shut up. I love them all. It's the first time I ever watched. It's like, this is how we make lawn mowers.

And I'm like, fascinating. Tell me more. I love that, gentlemen. I want to go back further though. I want to see the planning stage. Because I'm sure in the Kellogg's and every other major serial manufacturer, General Mills, that there's a point at which somebody gets out of whiteboard

and says, engineer says, look, with this design, it will destroy the roof of their mouth 10% slower. So they'll be able to eat more of this. That's why I like Reese's Puffs over cap and crunch. Cap and crunch is a worse, because cap and crunch hurts. It's like you can sandpaper nuggets. That's why, cap Reese's Puffs over Captain Crunch. Captain Crunch is a worse because Captain Crunch hurts. It's like you can sandpaper nuggets. That's why Captain Crunch with Crunch barriers is my all time favorite.

It tastes so good, but hurt. My all time favorite. And it's because it has consequences. You gotta get it. You have to want it. It's gonna slow you down. You go the next day. Anything you ingest is going to burn the top of your mouth.

What do you mean? An hour later in the hurt. Yeah, that's fair. I love that and I love fruit loops from my other ones. And those are, that fruit loops that Apple jacks are pretty big offend. They keep you on your toes. They do.

Because you're like, am I, is that blood coming out of my mouth? Fuck it. I just realized I have a mecca that I want to go to and that's a Kellogg's office. Like people want to go like to Blizzard or Pixar. I want to go to Kellogg's and just try all the serials and all the experimental stuff you got. Well, wasn't the Kellogg guy who was obsessed

with taking big poops, wasn't? No, he was obsessed with stopping people from masturbating. Yes. That's right. Who was the guy who was obsessed with taking big poops? What was that? Who was that brother? I think.

Bad Eric Badakian, no, the answer to this question, right? They made the Matthew Broderick movie about the guy. Oh, look it up. I'll look it up. Wasn't there a president? That was a fast-taking, big poops. Yeah, so we're huge. Down sizing. I don't know.

Matthew, I love Google now, because you can type it stuff like Matthew Broderick movie about the guy who liked big poops. I love Matthew. And cannot lie. I got, I love Matthew Broderick, and love that there was always like, there was like a cliff that Matthew Broderick went toward with his career and then eventually just hit that and just went right off. What's the last Matthew Broderick film you've seen?

The last one I remember thinking that's Matthew Broderick was that one where he was with Meg Ryan where they were stalking their exes. Do you remember that? No. It was like addicted to love or something like that. No. I think the last one I saw was producers. Producers, yeah, I think I did see that as well.

He's been popping up on a couple of things here and there. He used to be huge. I unapologetically loved the Godzilla movie. Oh, the one with the, we're puffed at. He did the cashmere song. Where it's like, yeah, he just ripped off. Right. There was that time period where puffed at it was like, I'm gonna get huge by just ripping off every lead's apple and song possible. He's gone far, yeah, he just ripped off. Right. It was that time period where Puff that,

I was like, I'm gonna get huge by just ripping off every lead Zeppelin song possible. He's gone far. Yes, he's huge. He's been doing it. God, it wasn't Road to Wellness, what was it? It's the, by the way, I am, you know, it was Road to Wellness, wasn't it?

Road to Well-Dale. Well-Dale. Well-Dale. There you go. That's what it is. Okay, that's why I got confused. Why is it Road to Wellness now movie too, right? Isn't that what, explain the obsession with the big dookies?

Yeah, well I was just saying while I was looking this up, it suggested that I go and see the IMDB entry for Project X. I'm trying to remember this, we're at full version. Apple. We've got the monkey. Yeah, I love that movie.

The crazy thing about it, John, look at this. Here's Matthew Broderick in this 1987 movie. There's Helen Hunt. Helen Hunt looks the exact same. She has looked the exact same age since she was about 18 years old. She's like John Hamm. Like they just hit this point and they're like,

this is as old as they are. And they're gonna look this way forever. In this was John Hamm, always the John Hamm always look like a 45 year old man. Like in your brain. He said, it's my next door neighbor in college. Was he really? Yeah, my first year at college, he was my next door neighbor.

He was a bunch of university texts for a very short period of time. That's awesome. Yeah, that's cool. So you're best friends to have a hand. Didn't put it together until a of time. That's awesome. Yeah. That's cool. You like it. You like it. You like it. You like it.

Didn't put it together until a year later. It's like, oh, that was the guy. Do you think he remembers you? No, but I'm kind of dancing around a subject here, but it was, he didn't go to the, he didn't go to UT for very long for, because he was asked not to return kind of a thing. So you can look that up on your own if you want to. That's fun. Yeah.

I'll do that right now. Yeah. Project by the way, Project Dex, really good movie. I cried at the end of that movie every time I watched it. So when he has the release of Monkey, he's like, you're like, you're watching it. Well, again, grip on the side. It was on. It was like 5 to 8.

It was that and armed and dangerous. We're always on. I don't remember that movie, but it was great. I do remember the existence of that movie. This is where I think Eugene Levy dresses in assless chaps and it's just in comedy ensues, hilarity ensues. It's great.

This is my Kellogg. World to World, well, it's my Kellogg. It is. It is. It's a, it's a, I don't know about him was a masturbation stuff. He's on the world men shirt. Oh, wow.

It's from a local, local printer. Kimmer, who was it? I was, you'll appreciate this. I was, I was looking at one of the captions for no country for old men on like Amazon or something. And it was, you know, the caption that describes the movie as that. And it's like a man in the Midwest makes a bad decision

that forever authors his life. And he's hunted by a guy that has weird hair. No way, you said the weird hair. I swear to God, it's a weird hair. And I was like, that's how you're gonna, that's how you're gonna boil down Javier Bardem's performance as this like rafelike character that cannot be done. One of the best villains ever has the weird hair. And I was like, that's how you're gonna, that's how you're gonna boil down Javier Bardem's performance as this like rake like character that cannot be

one of the best villains ever has the weird hair. I guarantee you like 20 years from now when people are thinking about that movie and the way they want to look it up, they're gonna say movie with the guy who has weird hair. That's what they're gonna say, right? It's a bull cut. Yeah, or the guy with weird hair who has quarters.

Yeah, that's what they're gonna say. This quarter traveled all the way up. That was freaky. Yeah, that's what they're gonna say. This quarter traveled all the way up. That was freaky. Yeah, that's a good, good, heavier, bar, lemon, pressure dude. Just from that one, the Anton Sugar. Yeah, yeah. I did the thing, I went down a rabbit hole.

I do this maybe I read like five years, where I'm like, I'm gonna read more, because that makes me more cultured. But I only read books when there's gonna, the movie coming out so I can say, I read the book, why I read the book first, first before I watch the movie and then I'm the annoying person who tells you everything that's different in the book from the movie and how the books better because of that yeah that was me.

I do all the other way. I can appreciate it. I like that's when you can be better than other people. That's how it works. Do you understand that? There's a point. Okay. So did you read No country for all men? I did. They describe in the and they tried reading bloodmourin and I was like, I'm getting them. And the road

I was like, no, I can't do this. Oh my god. I read the road. The last last chapter of the road. Zaryl is these are all by Kormak McCarthy. But what I'm reading, I don't think I've ever read. But the last chapter of the road is like tear your fucking heart out. I mean, Jeff, did you watch the movie? I mean, I know I made Jeff Ramsay read it just to make him cry. Oh my God. It's, it's sad.

It's sad. You know, produce that movie? Mark Cuban, his company out of Dallas, yeah, that made that the movie. Also, super, super sad. I also love actors, and I won't say who the name of the actor, but it's an actor who makes a cameo in that movie. Very late, and I see him in cameos all the time,

and I like big name actors who make small cameos in movies. We're doing one of the guys at the very end. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I want to talk about him. Oh, hey, go ahead, go ahead. You're talking about Guy Perris, right?

Yeah, I'm about Guy Perris. Yeah. Did you see a lockdown, a lockup, or whatever that movie was, where it was about, he has to go to the prison, the like super max prison in space and save the president's daughter. He got a what? No, but I'm gonna see this.

Oh, it's not a lot of it. It's it's a good suit. I got the guy. They said good suit because it was too close to another movie. Lockout. Lockout. Lockout. Yeah, it's a stupid movie.

It is a it's like basically like judge dread almost. It is a 1980s movie that was made like five years. Emily Warlock, the daughter of the American president, leads a humanitarian mission to MS1, an outer space prison in which the 500, most dangerous criminals from Earth are kept in a state of artificial sleep. Just as Emily arrives,

the now awakened prisoner stage of violent rebellion, and she and the MS1 crew are taken hostage. Isn't it like Emily's only chance for salvation lies with snow, guy Pierce, a wrongly convicted agent who has been promised his freedom. If you save sir, it's escape from New York. Yeah. That's I think that's what suited.

But you're missing, you're missing the point of this. It's escape from New York. If the entire island of Manhattan were in space, you understand me and that it's actually a really fun movie. And I want to spoil the ending for everyone that's into you right now, but I I won't do that. They're not actually in space. No, they're still there in space. Okay. But the way it ends, the way they get from space to the surface of the earth is amazing. Okay. Yeah, it's amazing. They're locked out of earth. Now I think lockout's just a analogy for life. And he's locked out of his life.

What's one thing about a guy pierced roll they've still never explained was so he shows up in Prometheus at the beginning as old guy pierced. Old guy pierced. But then he never cut, he played the wailing. He was wailing. And then he then he never is shown as regular young guy peers ever in that movie. Not yet.

But then they have a sequel and he's still not young guy peers. Right. He's a young girl. Super. Yeah. So beyond the normal scope of the game life, why did they cast someone who's who to and then they make them old? It's because they need them to look young.

Maybe they didn't want someone super old because they weren't sure if they would still be alive for filming the sequel. Yeah. That's actually a possibility. Remember Dumbledore? Dumbledore died. Yeah, that's a good chance and it did not pay off.

Also, the Oracle from Matrix died. Yeah, that's another one that's the sequel. That kind of got explained. Yeah, they were able to explain that one. Yeah, so that's looked different. Well, it's a matrix. Yeah, swap people out to roll. one. Yeah, so that's looked different. They're not that much. Yeah, swap people out. So we're all I prefer the first actress to choose better.

Yeah, well, there's a big one coming up. You know, Carrie Fisher died before. Oh, yeah, episode nine. She's making it into all three films. Yeah, I think it's it's it's kind of it's a bit ironic in a very morbid way that of all those main characters. From the original trilogy, they've killed all of them, spoiler, except for her character, and then the actress who plays

Leia dies in real life. Yeah. I think JJ Abrams said they're going to use footage from episode seven that they didn't use for the film. And that's how they're going to use her. You know what the saddest part is, I'm not not gonna, I don't want to start talking about the last Jedi because I get hot when I talk about it. So we're just gonna keep it at a lukewarm temperature. But the saddest part is if you've seen that movie, there was a natural point where that character could have died. It would have been beyond natural.

I mean, it was amazing. Arguably should have died. But it would have been so great for the character development for Kylo Ren because he couldn't pull the trigger and someone else killed her. And that could have been so amazing depending on why that character is gonna go. and so great for the character development for Kylo Ren, because he couldn't pull the trigger and someone else killed her and that could have been so amazing depending on why that character is gonna go.

But instead, she lived. I don't know, man. I'll say about that. I don't know about that. I mean, I do agree with you from that specific moment, but over the course of those movies, I don't know how many of my childhood heroes

have to die to convince the audience and this is a bad guy. You know, it's like, it seems like the whole purpose of my childhood heroes was a show like this guy who doesn't look like he's about kind of looks like a whiny little kid. Yeah, he's actually really evil.

You know, like, when we get it, stop fucking killing him. How did Optimus, you're boiling it down that the only reason they're doing this is the only reason why they're doing it, they keep fucking killing my childhood heroes. How did Optimus Prime die in the Transformers anime? Of course, the world's A-Tam is the planet. I don't know, is that what it was?

I don't remember. I don't remember, but I remember being very sad. Yeah, I remember he died, but I remember being very sad. I remember he died. But I can't remember. It fucked me up. He got stabbed. Didn't he? It stabbed my big sword.

Optimus. By the guy who took over for Megatron. I don't know. I just remember that when he died, they passed the mantle to Hot Rod. And then he became a Rod and his prime. And I'm like, that is cool. I'm trying to find something. I'm trying to be able to buy at a certain shop

that has all the windows all like that. What's on a shop? What kind of shop? It'd be a deal though. Oh, I can't. I don't know. I don't know how we're gonna go with that. You were window shopping at a section.

I'm straight into a section. No, just all the sex shops. Like the windows are always like black. Ever bought anything at a sex shop? Yeah. No. Lots of stuff. Do you pay cash?

No, I don't care. I've bought stuff online. At this point, at this point, the government and everyone knows that I'm a pervert, so what who cares? Really? Yeah. Why is that being a pervert? Oh, you just see the shit that I'm trying to do.

Okay. No, no, no, I just mean, I'm not ashamed of going in there and buying something for. I think it's inevitable, right? That all that stuff's going to get out there anyway. There was, there hasn't been gotten a whole lot of press, but Reddit just announced or revealed that they got hacked in the middle of the summer. And their user database and some hashed passwords got out from a very specific point in time.

And I'm just working from memory here paraphrasing. I'll probably get some of this wrong. But one of the things they revealed was like, all the data, user data posts, upvote records, everything from like 2005 to 2007, very data posts, upvote records, everything from 2005 to 2007, very early on in Reddit's life, all that, the hacker got all that, including people's DMs,

which I don't think people were doing stuff in their DMs and Reddit, but it is one of those things. I know those things. Yeah, right, it is one of those things where, oh really, because people tag me in stupid shit all the fucking time. Is that what a DM is?

And when someone, Yeah, when you get a message, Yeah, it's a private message. I thought it was like a comment. You can message each other, but I think when you're tagged, it also shows up as a joke. I've never been DM'd, I've been tagged, but I don't think I've ever been DM'd.

It just shows up as an alert. Here's nothing too. Facebook, I'm at you. Facebook does this thing where they... Stop using it. I'm pretty anal about notifications. Like my inbox is my to-do list, and I clear out my inbox and email,

where's fucking Matt Hullam? I don't know how he lives like this. I look at his fucking phone, and it's literally his mail icon says he has 18,000 messages. That's cute, right? Oh, what do you got Nick? Let me see, let me see what Matt.

And I just, I don't know how people do it. That's how many messages I have. Oh wow. So there's a couple of things that make me mad here. Yeah. First of all, your email is 6,718. Your phone is 10. Yeah.

Don't see, so if you look at it. If you had the phone, like voicemails I have, that I have a list of do, yeah. There are no numbers on the front of my phone. And if you got one of those red numbers or gusts, if you got one, you would have to clear it out, right? It's like you would bug you until you got rid of it. Facebook and Instagram, both always tell me, oh, you have a notification.

And then I go to hit it. Oh, I hit that. What's my notification? They're like, you should add your contacts. It's like, no, that's not a notification that you want me to fucking add my contacts or give you access to my contact. And it just does it like every two weeks. Now fucking Instagram's doing it.

It's always bugging me of like, oh, invite or your friends are some. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Oh, yeah. And that top right call. Yeah, that's right. I added so many different small things to itging me of like, oh, invite, or your friends are some sort of, oh yeah. And that top right corner. Yeah, that's the trend. Instagram added so many different small things to it. And I'm like, you were so pure. You were so pure.

And now you're just not pure. You got zucked. Yeah, dude, there's just so much crap on there. Like I Instagram TV, you got stories about which you're by the way, the same fucking thing. What's the fucking difference? The same thing. One just lasts longer, which by the way, is the same thing as if you just post a video to your feed.

It's not the bigity said. Here's my two notifications I have right now on Instagram. I have two notifications. One is John, discover people and the other one is open Facebook. Why would I get a notification that I need to open Facebook? Maybe you have an alert in Facebook. Do you have your account connected to your Instagram account? I don't know, but if I do, I'm gonna turn it off.

Do they not? Do they want me to turn it off? Is Facebook just your mom now? Yeah, I just have one note calling you to remind you to cover shit you don't need to ever think about ever. Look, here's the rest of your sheet of it. Here's some recipes. Hey, there's a virus going around.

You know, you get those things from your pop. Here's viral email. Oh, Jesus Christ. Here's the problem though. I just clicked on the discover people and the first person I saw was someone I want to follow. It's like, I'm like, kind of worked. But yeah, Emily, bright. I'm gonna, I'm gonna read this. Yeah, what is it? What do you

want to remind everyone? This episode of the RISP podcast is brought to you by Beebe Sama apparel. Beebe Sama apparel is a unique new brand that has high quality stuff with stylish designs. Shirts are super comfortable. They're made from very high quality cotton. Their designs are done by top anime artists, like Jimbo Box and Lucid Sky. They're company enough to wear at home while binge-watching anime but also stylish enough to wear on a fun night out on the town. BBsama is officially collaborating with Capcom and Udon collectibles for some awesome products. The Zodiac bomber jackets are cool and unique. The embroidery is top of the line. We've got. Oh, yeah, here's one here. Let me turn the other one around. Oh, well, embroidery, where was I? Is top of the line. Inline design is super stylish. If you're looking for high quality apparel made from some of the coolest

enemy artists, definitely check out BBsama apparel. Their products are awesome. High quality, come with some of the coolest designs and high quality printing. Don't wait. Check out BBsama apparel on de los cooles y las posibilidades. No, venías, te apuntas? ¿Qué dices? Pero este pueblo es de legísimos. Nada, mira que fácil, primero 7 paradas de metro hasta tocha, de ahí trena abajo, luego un traje. No te lee es. Este verano viaja de puerta a puerta y sin complicaciones con Bláblacá. Siempre encontrarás uno cerca, incluso a última hora, de reservar tu próximo viaje,

ya. Bláblacá, bláblacá. I'm down a fucking rabbit hole over here. Looking at Dr. Kellogg's medical contraptions that he had, apparently he just believed in a lot of really weird shit. Dr. Kellogg. He, one of his mentions was the cornflake. Yeah, the cornflake was invented.

It was interesting because they wanted to curb masturbation. And the thought was you could control physical impulses like masturbation by eating very bland food. So what's the blandest food you can think of? Like, let's make cornflakes. So cornflakes was intentionally created to be bland so that people would stop jerking it. That's crazy.

How many people do you think of jerking it into a bowl of cornflakes? It's even better than half and half. Yeah, oh yeah, because it's thick. What's the best of your hand and jerk off with? Or you could try and learn a nose probably someone has. Aversion with masturbation specifically. Like, what's the motivation? if you cross a bunch of your hand and jerk off with, you can try and learn those probably someone has a version with masturbation specifically. Like what's, what's the motivation?

Why did that, why did that make it into the list of things you're not supposed to? You want, you want a legitimate answer? Yeah, yeah, because I was told constantly do not stop, stop touching yourself. It was, it's that you can have impure thoughts. So even like thinking something sexual about someone is considered an impure thought.

And so in order to masturbate, you normally have to at least think something sexual about another person. Unless you're 13 year old dude. But even, yes, but even then that's like it's just considered like the no, no birth control thing I get. Well, it could be also more people in your religion. So sure, it could be tied into that like they don't want you wasting your groceries. Oh, really?

The actual real reason. Yeah, that was in the Bible. It says don't spill your seed. You got to keep that seed. They want to use it to make kids. Yeah, yeah. And if they're masturbating, they're not going to make kids. Well, they feel like they figure if you're,

if you can't masturbate, you're going to just pop a load. You're going to be, you know, you're going fucking live wire in there and you're, you're going to make tons of kids. And you're also going to be way more motivated to go out and lie out. Oh, you're, you're trying. yeah, if you can't touch yourself, you gotta go. Which is a joke on me from the beginning because I don't make baby,

so I could have been jerking the entire time. Yeah, yeah. Did you ever go through a period where you didn't jerk off because of religious reasons? Loads. We were even. That's a poor, poor, poor, poor,

poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor of that. How big were those loads? No, there was actually, this is even a trend, this is even a trend that was done within the youths of the church was guys would try to see how long as a pact they could go. That's like how church like Seinfeld. Yeah, but like for God is why they did it. And so we would like, and then we would hold as like a pride thing like I didn't, I haven't jerked off in like two months. Really? Yeah.

Or did you get the conversation of like, well, if you jerk me off, it doesn't count. It's feel like I was going to brought that up. I would have been fine with that. But talking about their jerking off habits. Yeah. I didn't go to a Catholic school. We didn't sit around talking to each other about jerking off. I've always said the gayest guys are straight guys. So I went to for clarity. I went to a public school and we talked about jerking off. I've always said the J.S. guys are straight guys, so. I went to for clarity. I went to a public school and we talked about jerking off a lot. Yeah, just good. Yeah, of course.

I don't even know what I remember. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I really can't ever put my finger on. I'm 38. You're 38, okay? So that seems weird to me because, I mean, you're younger than me.

Yeah, a little bit. But I definitely was in an era where it's like, people didn't talk about jerking off, but even after I went to college, my girlfriend that I went to college with, she was in education, so she was doing your student teaching, and she was talking about how the kids in her class were always talking about jerking off, like very openly, publicly in class. It seemed like something that shifted. I don't remember ever talking about that or ever coming up. It's possible that I'm viewing my past through my present.

But I talk about it a lot right now. Who goes to me just Riverside? That's awesome. Again, nothing much to do. I get Riverside great place now growing up. Very cool. Nothing to do but meth. And talk about whether or not you're joking off.

Yeah, well you're sitting there minding your business. Well you've got to get x-coz you being your last step. Well what am I going to do? Well I'll hold you, you know, what's the hell and how? Well like you've got to get x-coz on TV and you're like, what am I gonna do? What you're gonna do? Well, I'll let you know. What was it, Helen Hunt? Well, like you at some point when you were growing up though, had to have the conversation with your friends of like who had the pornote.

No, literally, yeah, the pornote was the thing for sure. Where the pornote tape. Oh, I never got that. Everyone always had a pornote tape. First porn I ever saw was on the internet. Really? No, mine was we had VHS tapes, which was you were in the danger zone

because you didn't have, we weren't that kind of house that had, I didn't have my own TV and VHS tapes, which was, you were in the danger zone, because you didn't have, we weren't that kind of house that had, I didn't have my own TV and VHS player. So I had to be a living room activity, which was, you were just, you were running the gauntlet. So mom's going to the store. So you'd have to run on the gauntlet. Yeah.

That's changed forever. You just wanted to be injured walking in the open. But yeah, you would be like, mom's going to the store, you have to do the math and you're like, okay, it takes probably about 10 minutes for it to get there, 10 minutes shot, 10 minutes to get back. Then you're looking around going, did she forget anything? Like where's the purpose?

Where are the keys? What's going on? Is she going to come back in here? I don't think I ever got caught. But, Kamele and I, Kamele and I, Fionni has a great bit where he talks about this, like this exact thing you're talking about where

Same thing he realized he has a window of opportunity to watch his VHS porn tape But then the VCR broke and the tape was stuck in it. Oh, no So then it became a matter of how do you extract the tape from the VCR? Yeah, uh or time Yeah, what do you do in that situation? You're the mission impossible theme. Rock that, boy. Yeah, walk away and pretend like it doesn't think, I don't know, I got there. That's weird. Yeah, we used to have, when I was in college, I remember we had the bag of porn. Everyone had,

What's the bag of porn? What's the, that's not a term. No, it is, it is now. I'd like to get this into the Roach- Oh, it's the Roach- We had a giant black garbage bag of porn tapes that we everyone, me and my group of friends, had just accumulated over the years.

And we- The bag is shame. Well, it was like a club house. But what would happen was every time one of us would help the other person move, the bag would get somehow stashed in the new person's house. And it was always fun to figure out when and if they discovered the bag,

or maybe their girlfriend would discover the bag. So it was a plan. Yeah, we would just do it to screw with each other. So it was a plan. There was a plan. Yeah, we would just do it, just screw with each other. Okay. Because we had seen all of them already. It was like, well, how many times can you watch like, the German sausage number four before,

to the Christ of the life, because that's a made up name. The only, the stuff that I, on the TV that I was able to use for mass-metroid materials was always just the titty parts of like movies that were legitimate, like watching American pie or something like that. It was always like, after midnight on Showtime,

you'd get like some out there stuff like Emmanuel, Queen of the Desert. I've probably seen most of the Emmanuel series of movies. Did you see this story last, this I think was this week that HBO is finally discontinued and taking off all of their porn stuff, all the adult programming is going away. this story last, this I think was this week that HBO is finally discontinued and taking off. All of their porn stuff, all the adult programming is going away.

All of their original programming, real sacks and stuff. This is a great video where someone is like, it's young actors calling home and describing their parents the part they got. It's like, yeah, I'm in there. And I naked. And then the dwarf comes in and then I go down on him and he goes down on me. And then they're like, the parents the part they got. And it's all like, yeah, I'm in there. And I'm naked. And then the dwarf comes in and then I go down on him and he goes down on me. And then they're like the parents are all upset.

Oh, it's for HBO. Oh my God, that's amazing. And it's literally describing scenes from like Game of Thrones and other things and sex in the city. And. Well, it's like people got upset before Westworld season one came out

when they would see like the extra call sheets or the casting notices for extras in Westworld. And it'd be like, most be comfortable with nudity and posing as furniture. It's like, what the fuck are they doing? Like what are they making over there? That's hilarious. I'm gonna be nude acting as furniture.

Is there anybody in Westworld that hasn't been nude at this point? Anthony Hopkins, I don't think everyone. I think you're probably right on that regard. Oh, I'm not. But as far as like, as far as, I don't think anything. I think you're probably right on that regard. Yeah. But as far as like as far as I don't think anything Hopkins has ever been nude period in life. He was born with probably like a three piece. I don't think I need Hopkins.

New. Yeah. I don't see what Hopkins nude. Man, you know what I watch? Anthony Hopkins. I have never seen this movie and I can't get. I have to watch it in spurs because it's so hilariously bad. Alexander, have you seen this movie? No, it's on Netflix right now. It's on Netflix. I fired it up.

It's the ultimate director's cut, it's three hours long. Yeah. It's an all over stone epic about Alexander the great bond. Okay. And it, yeah, I can tell you exactly why it bonds. It bombed in theaters. Weird.

Shit. But it was right around the time that all the epics were coming out. And that was like the thing. It was like, they're trying to like, throw away and that kind of thing. It's a Jared leto Colin Farrell. It's a great cast, but it's just a weird movie. It's like that all over stone style where you're like, are we still in this battle?

Yeah. And are we flashing back in this battle? Like they do the battles and they do the left flank and the right flank and the middle flank and it's still confusing and they just keep cutting back. It's weird. it's weird. It's one of those things too. Has that story of this director's been trying to make this movie for 10 or 15 years?

Has that story I've rendered with? And then the movie came out and it was great. Ever? I can't think what that would be. No, I'm not talking about I know of. Avatar's probably the only one I could think of like that. Usually it's like when someone tries to, like I'm really worried about this Don Quixote movie.

Oh, this will make that. Oh yeah, they've been trying to make it for probably 20 years now. And I'm worried it's gonna come out and you'll be like, what was that? What was the point of all that? Yeah, it's usually when a production has issues like for quite a long period of time,

it doesn't, I can't think of any good examples of when that comes to fruition. I'm going through a list of movies that were in development health to see what I find to watch. Well, the world where list of movies that were in development health to see if I could find one. Well, the world where Z was one of the biography about like Truman Capote, where world where Z wasn't like a movie

that people want to make the book came out like, no, no, no, but it was a movie that that the production kept taking forever because they like pre-production took forever and they kept changing out people that were like writing or directing in. And so like it was one of the things that and everyone kept vying for it because of the book. And then when it came out, everyone was like, okay, it was actually pretty good

move. It was fine. It just wasn't. Yeah, it wasn't. And I'll be honest, I was like, I too. I guess an X-Men movie they tried to make since 84. Talking about the X-Men thing though, there was like an article they came out that was talking about how with the acquisition, new mutants and dark phoenix are pointless, but they're still going to release them. They've already made the mess. The thing. You're talking about horror movie. Well, they, but they're still gonna release them. They've already made them, that's the thing. You're trying to do that horror movie. Well, they, but they also went in, like they pushed its release way back,

and some people think it might have been because the acquisition coming, or some people think it's because no one liked what they made. Maybe. It's more locking. What's that? Warlock. I don't remember.

I remember seeing the trailer and I go, this feels tonally weird for this title, and then just anything, any other news that I saw from it just wasn't exciting. I like new mutants, it's a good title, and I love X-Men comics. I get irrationally angry. Comics tie?

It could all be. Yeah, not much. John, then I want to see if this happens to you as well. I get irrationally angry at all the X-Men movies when they show like us us usually it's a younger character a side character who has like earth moving powers or can shoot fire or something that of like it's almost like they're taking a character. But doing it almost like intentionally doing them wrong, you know, like the characters

especially like in Logan the younger characters I'm like I'm like why not just use the actual characters from the comics like avvalanche or somebody like that? And just call them that. Yeah. You know, instead of like just getting them kind of right. I feel like that's how like Rogue started off where she was supposed to be Kitty Pride. Like they made a hybrid of the Rogue

and Kitty Pride storyline. I could complain about everything like I've spent movie all the way up until Logan because I don't really think, other than maybe, you like Logan? I love Logan. Logan's fantastic. Logan likes you than maybe. Do you like Logan? I love Logan. Logan's fantastic.

Logan likes you. What did you do to Deadpool too? I love Deadpool too, actually. So we're starting to knock another part on that. Yeah, I think I called it in, right? Yeah, they're saying like, they've all... Is that interpretation, but it was still good? Yeah, and that's, I'm fine with that.

Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, Cataban doesn't know who you are. Cataban doesn't trust you. Oh, I haven't seen a pop like that. That was bad, Cataban. I like it. And I'll love you. Oh, I haven't seen a podcast. I hate that. That was bad. Caliban. And I'll give you a high five. I'm gonna be about just stands behind the entire time. Like, don't even get me started. I've got to fuck up. Sidewalk.

Fucking hate that movie. I hate a podcast. She was a Johnny come lately. Anyway, I don't really care. No, I'm just the whole apacas movie. And just in general, they fucked up everything. It's good. They're death angel with a blade wings? Death angel? Yeah, archangel. Archangel. Yeah, yeah. How's he go?

How's he go? It's just wings, John. It's on his arms. He's going to go. That's what they did. Yeah, they fucked him up. He's awesome. The character sucks.

He was way better after he died and he came back as the blue death angel. He didn't die. With a whew, yeah. He did die. He didn't die. Yeah. He didn't die and become Archangel. They put the spears in his wings. No, he was just, he was just put up in that. He got taken down.

He was fine. That's from when he was put up in the Moral Octonal. But then they put up, they turned him into Archangel. That was when he went to Apocalypse. Right after they stabbed him. No, that was the Moral Octonal. He was put up there. That was when Stormfights the Moral Octonal.

It's all one continuous narrative. No, it's not. I have the book at home Lens to do each other So what happened was our angel got a suit during the secret wars Hey, grab your just I got I got irrationally ang- speaking of getting irrationally angry I got irrationally angry in a meeting yesterday. You were there burning was there We were sexy Gus calendar. We were it was a meeting about the sexy Gus calendar

It's that meeting and we're going over all the images trying to side like which images are gonna go in the calendar And we get to the point in the meeting where we start talking about like what dates should be printed on the calendar So you start with of course all holidays to make sure they're all on there sure We get to November and Someone someone asks 10th anniversary of the podcast is in 2019 as well. That's another date in May. So we get to November and someone goes, I don't think that's the right date for Thanksgiving.

And I look at it and said, no, it's the 4th, Thursday in November. It's Thanksgiving. Like I don't think that's right. I go, no, that's definitely the right date for Thanksgiving. And someone else in the room goes, well, why don't we double check online

and make sure that's the right date for Thanksgiving? And I said, wait a little harder than I meant to. I probably shouldn't have said it at all. I just looked at everyone in the room goes, well, why don't we double check online and make sure that's the right date for Thanksgiving? And I said, wait louder than I meant to. I probably shouldn't have said it at all. I just looked at everyone in the mean. I said, are you all stupid? Thanksgiving is always the fourth Thursday in November. I mean, it's like, man, I can't believe we're having this discussion

and wasting time talking about this. Wow. That was a good point. Someone ended up looking up like, yeah, that's the right date. And the person who pointed out that there might be the wrong date initially said, oh, I, that's the right date. And the person who pointed out that it might be the wrong date initially said, oh, I was looking at the 2018 date instead of the 2019 date.

So of course, for now, I'm the asshole because I know when Thanksgiving is. I'm always the guy that has to ask when Thanksgiving is. Cause I don't, I don't, I don't, I've just, that's one thing. The other thing is to hear someone declare when Thanksgiving is ago. I don't think that's the day. You know we live in a society now Well, there's been a paradigm shift like before Google you had to know stuff after Google You just don't have to know stuff. You just have to know how to look it up

You just not a Google it, but I personally knowing I question everything Gus has a pretty good head on his shoulders. Yeah, Gus is like we haven't confirmed whether or not he's a computer. Right. We don't know that. So if Gus were to tell me that Thanksgiving is the fourth Thursday of November, I'd go that sounds very correct and I would go with that and I would not be someone in a meeting who would go no, I don't think it is. We should double check because Google it. I mean, I'm pretty sure you're you're pretty in this company, also would just be like, well, check it later. No, I was, I was like, I was really right. No, did you check it?

That's exactly how it's gonna do. That's the diplomatic angle Bernie was taking. It was the same thing. Let's double check all of the dates just to be 50. Yeah, we're taking a calendar. We want to make sure we don't get something wrong. Who the fuck knows? I would,

I think this could be one of the years where they add a second or some shit, you know? Well, that's like a 31st day in February. Exactly. And you're like, cool. Or 30th day in February and you're like cool. Yeah. Or 30th day in February and you're like cool. Whatever, they have the 31st but not the 30th. It's really weird.

That'd be hilarious. Some new stuff. You should do something. You got to, you got to hide a Easter egg in that calendar somewhere. There's 12 of them. Are there? It makes you sure amazing. Yeah, I think you saw the cover.

Is the cover you lying, you doing the burnt rentals? Yeah. I fucking love saw the cover. It's the cover you lying, you doing the burnt rentals. Yeah. I fucking love that so much. You showing me the good one. Oh my god. These are. He's giving him. All right.

This is, I need you guys to cover my crotch with these pizza boxes because that is, okay. That is. These are just, these are just all the options. These are all the options. That's got to be one. That's got to be one. I think that was one are all the options. That's got to be one. That's got to be one. I think that was one of them. Yeah, that's got to be one also.

So this calendar, while we're working on it right now, it won't be available probably until November because we just got to, we have now made it. We just have to now produce it. We have to manufacture all these calendars, which is going to take some time and then get them through shipping and all that stuff. These fucking teaky glasses are taking forever.

It's to get through customs. Have we, have we talked? Why? I don't know. It's just, I'm not saying that. Oh, you say it was custom. Just customs. Customs sometimes goes, no, you don't get your stuff.

Well, they're coming from Tikiwana. Where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where the, where's the, where the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where's the, where the, where's the. It's tough. It's tight.

I think unsurprisingly, they probably are coming from China. I would assume. I would assume. They got locked up. This is something else. I forget what the other thing is, but they've been locked up in customs. Yeah. And these are bags for RTX. Oh, they got they got those big old bags.

So these massive bags and they just didn't make it bad. But it's been like a month, dude. It's been a month. I feel like really an unceding guy. We intermittently have trouble with that process. Do we have the same problem with Gryff Balls back in the day? Yeah. Yeah.

I was here when we had Gryff Ball problems. I like that Gryff Ball Backpack way. I have to make sure I grab one before they're gone because then it's like I'm never able to get one again. Yeah. That's what has turned into these products. We used to just like, oh, they'll be there forever and we'll reorder them. But we have so many new products now. You gotta get it when it comes out and then it's like I'll never be able to get one again. Yeah. That's what's turned into these products. Like we used to just like, oh, they'll be there forever and we'll reorder them, but we have so many new products.

Now you gotta get it when it comes out and then it's gonna go away. Like my actual favorite hat to wear is that vintage RVB baseball hat. And that one, and I have one of them. I used to have two, now I have one. I was like, I'm afraid to like wear it because I know I'll never be able to get it again.

Be lost forever to time. Oh, where am I star-hat instead? From the big hat again. Be lost forever to time. Oh, where my star had instead. From the big hat company. So you keep the one. Yeah, right? So I'm not wearing the thing that I would prefer to wear. That's so funny. So I just, I sent, I recently, for the first time

in like 12 years because I had like a gift card and stuff. I finally got a new TV. I literally upgraded from, I don't think it was this fucking gift card. It was a pretty good gift card. Yeah. You've been consolidating gift cards for years. Yeah.

For the one gift card. But I went from, like, what those bitch exes. But it was a gift card. This is best buy on it. Where was the gift card too? It was best buy. Who gave you the gift card? I'm not going into this.

I want to know. I went from a 720p TV. I can wonder if you're, what is this like a grift and where you just make this part of it? Where did the gift card come from? It came from winning Fit for RTX. Oh, is that what it came from? You wanted a contest.

I wanted a contest. It was that big of a contest. The award winning body. Award winning body. Would you win? I won the muscle gain category. Muscle gained? How the fuck do you measure that?

Well, I lost a certain amount out of muscle, I mean, a fat percentage and also generally measure that. We measured, we measured fat percentage. How do you, I'm asking, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you,

how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you,

how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how? Did you dehydrate the day for no I did I did it actually please do that. No, I didn't I really wanted accurate number I mean you've made great progress. Thank you. I really this is a big fucking deal. Okay, it was the gift card Can you say I'm not telling you how much the big the how much was the gift card? Anyway, no any RTX fit losers in there You know what if you want to know how much gift card is, win it next year and lose some weight. So there's a company wide initiative to make people more healthy.

Yes. And you want a TV. Well, I want a gift card that helped me buy a TV. Well, TV, you had a 720p. What you got now? I got a 4K TV now. Nice. Not a very healthy choice. Get like a juicer, keep it going. 50% for our kids. I already have that.

TV. It's an investment in a few things. Give cards. I have that stuff already. And I do things already to make myself healthy. So you're saying you had an unfair advantage going into this? You are just trying to get something started. I'm not the one stealing TV.

I'm done. I don't want to talk. We need to get an independent council on this. I'm good. There was a point of the story. Well, it's the point of that. You got to fork it. It's not worth it.

It's not worth it. You've literally built up, I was just going to make some sort of stupid anecdote based off something you just said like 10 minutes ago. But now it's not worth it because you've taken into this rabbit hole of me fucking winning the fifth Friday at RTX thing because of an unfair advantage. I listen dude, either something else is hanging out there.

That's in the exact same position. We were talking about the Gus calendar. That was part of the first week goals. It was actually the first thing on the first week goal. You and I, we done, you're one of the people I recorded game time with. Those should become, I whistleed again. How do I do that?

I never, I cannot do it on purpose. Uh, Nick is breaking shit. Our game time should be coming out in the next couple of weeks. Yes. Now the Gus calendar is done among other people as well. There it is. It's because you saw the Gus calendar. Now you want to cover up.

No, I don't know why I even started with it. There are two shows happening right now. I'm sorry. It's the Nick's starpino microphone show. There's, I did. And he's not even doing it quietly. He's not even trying to do it. It might be dead. He's talking into thearpino microphone show. There's, I did. And he's not even doing it quietly. He's not even trying to deal with the choir. He might be dead.

He's talking into the mic with his problem. There goes my verte. I can't, do you have stronger strength in me? It's a shitty stance. No, they're all like that. I've never seen one mic stand that tell it like that does this. What'd you do? I just loosened it to pull it up a little bit.

And it was dumb. You thought about baseball too much. That's good. That's how you never worked for me. There it is. That's perfect. That's good. That's not to never work for me. There it is. That's perfect. Mike everybody. So what about this television that you scammed? Yeah. I don't even know why what I was telling you. 720p to 4k. Yes, which is insane to jump from. Yeah. As far as like I like I've been questioning why people talk

about liking watching movies at home for a long time because I don't like watching movies at home, but now I'm like, oh, I get it. As well as like even playing video games at home now like on a console like I get it. But I- You just don't- What you just don't,

were you usually the Game Boy still? The Black and White Game Boy? No, I've been an Xbox owner. I have an Xbox one, but I haven't played the Xbox one for probably a year because I play everything PC, but I do have- It's just a no point. No, I've been an Xbox, I've been an Xbox owner. I have an Xbox one, but I haven't played the Xbox one for probably a year because I play everything PC, but I do have a point. Yeah, I do have a, I do have a PS4 coming for Spider-Man. Oh, really?

Did you get the limited edition Spider-Man one? Yeah, and that's what I like. I've been waiting for that for like, I like, it's been like earmarking money for that until they announced they were selling it. And it was that some, where, where'd you, uh, where'd you steal the PS4 from? I stole the PS4 from your house, but, uh, the TV, uh, just a rebel browser, man.

He is. I was just, he's just like, this is, this is Bernie. Yeah. You're just gonna bump you. Yeah. Where's the button? I'm bored. I, I, I, I, I don't, I'm not in my Tesla.

What's the phone on? Here's Mac as I earned that. I didn't earn fitting fitting for our techs. That's a flow, that's a flow. That's a flow, no. That's a great hot flow. Here's Mack as I earned that. That's fair. That's fair. I didn't earn, winning fit for our text. He did, but it was unfair in a way. Why? Cause you were already fit going in. Okay, but I got fit her.

There's still a process. Yeah, I don't know. She still seems suspect to me. Well, the machine with the measuring. I don't know. I feel like you're projecting because you're not happy with the screen. I didn't get a fucking free TV. Yeah, well, maybe you should actually like to give card pay for the whole TV. No, it didn't. Okay, I don't know. I feel like you're projecting because you're not happy with the internet. I didn't get a fucking free TV.

Yeah, well, maybe you should actually like give card pay for the whole TV. No, it didn't. Okay, I don't think so. It didn't. We don't give out, we're not. We're not crazy. Hold on, it's not good.

Not bad, come on. No, no, no, it was like a perfect storm of like, had a gift card and I had some bonus money from something and then there was like a sale and I got it with like a discount code. And so it was like, a whole bunch of things that allowed me to get a TV because I don't normally buy,

I get really anxious with buying big purchases. It's something that's brought on. You should drive Gus crazy. I would wait, I would talk about buying something for like six or seven months. Oh, talk to you. I still do it. I just don't talk about it.

The worst is playing tickets. Yeah. For anyone to talk about buying and playing tickets forever. I didn't do it. I need weight and weight. Yeah, and they give more expenses. I, what we can, was it? For weight and weight. Yeah, and they give more expenses. I think it's for a thing. What weekend was it? It's for Thursday, November.

The pub is Gus. Whenever I say buy, like, and it's a month out, as soon as I hit the buy button, somebody goes, hey, we need you on this day for this thing. And it's like, I'm always punished by doing that. I have anxiety. I've been talking about wanting to get a new TV, and Andy could even talk about this since last November.

Like I've been like talking about, I need a new TV because I'm watching it on a tiny little piece of shit that I got from, I literally got the TV I had, I got a TV I got from my grandma who died a decade ago. Did it come in like the wooden cabinet? No. Yeah, that'd be cool. But I saw somebody just remade one of those old wooden wouldn't Stand up radios like they would you know people gather around the parties. Yeah, but you know I mean, it was really just a radio wasn't even a record player or anything

But they turn into a bar like they hollowed it out They actually put like a motorized lifting where it lifts up and it's got at least that's pretty cool Yeah, we're slow though. I feel like if I want to drink. I don't sit there and watch the thing I think it's more for the presentation I'll keep it out pushing button and it does the thing like you want to drink, I don't want to sit there and watch the single reason. I think it's more for the presentation. I feel like being able to go push a button and it does the thing. Like you want to drink? Like I do, but why are you walking to the radio? Oh my God. There you go.

I mean, that's why you do shit like that, right? Yeah. So you like your TV? I don't even know what the point of the TV story is. You were saying you like your RVB hat a lot, but you don't wear it because you were you're going to lose it. I just sent a message to, I said it to Andy, I think I'm gonna send it to Rahul as well,

because you would understand, one of my favorite movies of all time is Dark Knight. And I cannot wait to watch Dark Knight on my new TV in the way it is, but I said, I don't want to watch it on there because once I watch it, that's the last time I get to watch it for the first time on my new TV. And that's a legitimate like.

I do show that all the time. I do, I have for the first time on my new TV. Yeah. And that's a legitimate like, I do show that all the time. I do, I have a bunch of movies on my Netflix queue that I never intend to watch, but I just like to keep them there so that they can just be there. Like for the longest time, I had big trouble a little China queue up. It was like the number one spot on my list. And then I logged in one day and it wasn't there.

And I'm like, damn it, this was the day that I wanted to watch it. Yeah. Every single time. First movie I watched was Blade Runner 2049. Great movie. I felt like that was a pretty good make another one of those. Nick, did you have Netflix back when it was DVDs in there?

No, no, I'd ever did that. Totally. I had that too. And we used to have contests in the office to see who had the most expensive DVD that they were going to watch and they kept sending everything else back, except for this one DVD. And I think it was Jason, Jason Tucker.

He kept hotel Rwanda for about 14 months. He estimated it was like $180. He paid, because he's paying for the service. But not using it. But not using it. Like he's got three discs. So he's using a third of his service is being dedicated to that one disc.

That's just sitting there. And it was $180. So he convinced himself he was enlightened enough to watch Hotel Rwanda at some point. For me, it was bridge over the river Kwai. Wow. I think I had it for six months. I was like, I'm not going to watch it.

Don't watch it. Yeah. I'm, I returned. That's one of those classics that everyone ought to have seen, but no one actually wants to watch. Yeah. I couldn't get past the packaging of the Netflix TV. Yeah.

I don't like, I have some very weird sort of idiosyncrasies, one of which is like, I don't like the fact that sometimes they reuse hotel key cards, don't like that. The thought of that, me, I don't know if they do or not, but the thought of them are using the key cards. So, dude, you should never watch how they recycle glass bottles. I, I don't want to see that either. Uh, yeah, just, yes, how do they do it?

Like in your head, how does recycling a glass model work? Recycling that's why I just watch it. I imagine that's what they do. They just wash it out. I thought they crushed it down and melted the glass and wore new bottles. No, they just wash it out. So how does that work though,

if like the thing has imprints of like Coca-Cola on it's have to go back to Coca-Cola? I think they, there must be some sorting thing where Coke bottles go back to Coke, right? Right. How it's made. There it is, they've got it. Recycling, recycling, glass bottle.

The DVDs that used to get, and Netflix had the weird like, waxy, yeah, that thing, right? Yeah. And when you open it up, there would be like, there would be like, kind of dirty. Oh, there would be dirty. Oh, yeah, I don't like that people,

other people touched this to interact with. The whites leave. Really? Really good try-folded? No, I just don't like the, I get anxiety when I think about people interacting with the disc, fucking up the disc, and then going, oh, I already watched it, and giving it back,

and then maybe it gets to me and doesn't play right. I don't like that. If I touched the bottom of my shoe like this, is this for you? No, I just forget it all. Okay, because it really felt weird. Eric just had a conibction in the- Blue, Eric's real dad.

I don't have any dad. I got that. Jeff and Gus. Oh, is Jeff? Yeah, I thought it was Jeff. No, it was Jeff and Gus. It was like two weeks ago, was it? Oh, it was Jeff and Gus initially,

and then on the podcast, it was Gavin and Gus. It was like two weeks ago. It was Jeff and Gus initially, and then on the podcast, it was Gavin and Gus. Yeah, you guys are weird. Oh, that's right. Oh, we were in a conversation and talked about it. I do want you to wash your hands though, now. I don't know how to do that to yourself. You haven't noticed how to be so.

I used to care. I mean, you grew up in Riverside in the 80s. You know all about it. Well, no, but I live in a city now that has to actually have a poop patrol. That's a new thing San Francisco is doing. It's the poop patrol. What's the poop patrol do? The poop patrol, thanks for asking, John. That's a new thing San Francisco is doing. It's the poop patrol. What's the poop patrol do?

The poop patrol. Thanks for asking, John. It's a city run organization. I think there's six people now. They have little tiny steam cleaners. And when someone calls and says, Hey, there's human poop on the ground. They come and they like on the sidewalk on the sidewalk or in alleyways or in the street or in escalators. Windows. Yeah. Any of those things. So that's why I live. I'm reading here article on business insider about the poop patrol. Yeah. What are they called?

San Francisco has a poop patrol. Oh, God. To deal with its feces problem and workers make more than blank a year in salary benefits. I read this stuff. I'm gonna not, I read this article, so I'm not, I'm not gonna weigh in on this.

If someone were gonna pay you to be on the poop patrol in San Francisco in salary and benefits, what would they pay? What would the amount of money you would take they're gonna be on the poop patrol in San Francisco and salary and benefits What would they pay what was the amount of money you would take? First of all, I'm courting it. A hundred thousand dollar salary in San Francisco is like a twenty five thousand dollar salary. That's actually a hundred thousand dollars in San Francisco if I'm not mistaken if you have a family of I think Three or more as poverty level. Why? Yeah, let's talk about this in a second. So I want to talk about your documentary too that's coming out because San Francisco is a huge part of the documentary

I'm going to guess San Francisco to be part of the poop patrol. Gus, I'm going to ask for a salary of $100,000. Okay. So that I'm just at the poverty line. I was going to say like $120, $140, $184,000. What? For picking up poop benefits. With benefits.

But with benefits. So they're calculating in like, like, like, just less. You just walked out the door. He's going to join the poop patrol. It's never just go. But to be fair, you're picking up literally shit. Like you were shitting and picking up. And think about it.

Not like garbage where you're like, okay, sometimes it's going to be just like, like 180K a year. Okay, but what happens when the vehicle you're driving that picks up the shit or the stuff that's going to, like breaks down your screen stuff? Or if it splatters it all over the, you know, like you get it wrong way,

it's just pops it on the wall. There's plumbers, right? And guys, you drive septic tank trucks that they probably don't make 180K a year. I would commute into San Francisco for that job. 180, at the 180,000, every five years, you're making a million bucks. Yeah, salary and benefits.

That's important. And look, the future's bright. People are gonna keep pooping. You know? Yeah, I think that's a recession proof industry. It is, no matter what. You know, it might be a downturn, you know, as people, you know, as food gets cut off.

Yo, I think, well, that's, I think, I think the base pay was like 71,000. It's something like that, yeah. You remember, you remember, like with benefits was, yeah, it creeped over. Benefits, here's my problem, dude. Here's my problem. It's now, when I come to visit San Francisco,

I am gonna feel totally justified about pooping and in that school here. I'll take a shit and that's good. Yeah, so many's making $100.00 a day. You've shit with the whole breeze, just hitting your butthole, and you're on the escalator watch. But you gotta make sure you shit,

when you stand to the right, so people can still pass you on. It's piss on the left, shitt on the right, right? That's right. You can open up the can of worms about the escalators in London. Remember when we got into that whole conversation

with Gavin about it? Oh, God. Yeah. He says you still stand on the right as opposed to standing on the left. Oh, because they drive on the left. They drive on the left. You stand on whatever side.

That's the flow. It's like when you're in a car and you're passing, what side do you pass on? That's how you, that's, that should be it. That should be it. Right. Well, I learned that in Japan, Japan is the same way, right? You stand on the right, you pass.

You're driving the right. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, in Japan, it's like, people follow the rules. Japan, you're driving the left. Yeah, I thought they were opposite. Oh, they do. They definitely drive on the left.

You definitely drive on the left in Japan. Ah. Well, the escalator is still right, I think. I'm gonna look this up. I guarantee you, you're driving the left. Thanks, giving us the course. I thought we only got you to drive on the left. Everyone, everyone, Gus is right.

Let's look this up later. We'll come for everyone who drives. Which side ever, every guy. Australia and New Zealand, exactly right. That's a pretty good one. I'm double checking now. Your own life rule. That's the same outlet.

Yeah, hard drive on the side of the road. In Japan? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, let that be a lesson. If you, uh, defeat another country in war, you get to let them, they have to use your outlets. Is that the word that I work your life of war? I assume because we destroyed their infrastructure almost totally and had to help them rebuild it.

Yeah. We, we encourage them to remove our outlets. Yeah. We got a German 220 or 110. What do we, what, I think we're 120 and they're 110. Okay. It's something like it's pretty much as I was. Have you ever, um, actually plugged something in and blown, blown it up?

Cause I have no, I watched Jeff do it once. I actually did it when she moved to Australia. It's pretty much as I was have you ever actually plug something in and blown blown it up because I have no I watch Jeff do it once I actually did it when she moved to Australia. It's really scary I was I was working in and we went to TGS and I was doing like the Konami press conference or whatever they were doing and I Plugged in a piece of equipment with a surge protector and I had I just didn't wasn't I don't know I'm not electrician and it was just a little awesome Yeah, I'm not an electrician, and it was just a little awesome. Pfft. Yeah, that was weird. That sound, the first time I went to Australia with Jeff, pre-iPhone days,

he had like some shitty Verizon cell phone, and he went to charge it, played it into the wall, and made the noise you're talking about. The power went out in our room, but like, that's weird. We stepped out into the hallway. The power was out in the hallway.

The power was out in all the rooms in the part of the hotel we were in. It's like, that was a good time to leave the hotel. And we're gonna go to the bar and get a drink now. They're gonna forget. Yeah, I think if I remember correctly, there was like a whole, and it might not have been my machine, it might not have been my thing, it might have just been how they laid out the power

and this thing. But it was one of those were like camera riser and they had laid out power drops. And I think the power drop went down for everyone. So I felt really bad because like, this is back in the day when like, you had to plug stuff in and into, in order to capture a feed,

it was like just this big hole. You know, it's like, you know, you can do it on tiny little, oh, goto device, but yeah, that was pretty brutal. I was like, well, this thing's dead. It was wasted $6,000 of IGN's money. I'm like, fuck it, it's not mine. So whatever you want.

Thanks, Pear. Talk about Nick's doc. Yeah, So Nick has a doc coming out. We can punch one. What's that? It's it's Friday when we're recording this because we're pre recording for the holiday. So actually tonight you have a screening at the out of bounds festival. Yeah, we've been invited to screen it at out of bounds festival here in Austin at the spider house ballroom, which I don't know why I just mentioned that because it's useless to you guys now. It happened. It was great. It was a great time. But yeah, we're going to do a little comedy show. Brian show Brian cars gonna join us for that. Oh, that's great Christina Parrish. She's gonna be there as well

That's fantastic. So who's in the lineup tonight? Just the three of us. Oh, not Jeff. No, do it No, Jeff's flying to New York for a funky Luminine is wedding. Oh, right. Yeah He couldn't yeah, he couldn't make I wanted him for it because people actually you know, they want to see him Mm-hmm. They actually come out to see him I'm like me, but no, they want to see him. They actually come out to see him unlike me. But no, but the, but it's a really great documentary. I'm really proud of everyone that worked on it myself included. It turned out really, really well.

Like it's one of those parts we think, am I compelling enough to actually hold like a 30 to 40 minute long documentary? And then you think maybe, and then you realize the run times an hour and 15. I'm not, I'm not. Especially because I mean, once you watch the run times an hour and 15. I'm not, I'm not. Especially because I mean, once you watch the doc, you realize you're kind of living and dying five minutes at a time. Yeah.

You know, in this industry. It's really, really weird. It's weird to watch. It's also really weird to watch yourself be that vulnerable too, because I mean, most of the time I'm bombing and most of the time it's just that that go right, that's slow grind of doing two to three mics a night and saying the same jokes to the same people and trying to get them to laugh at them. It's brutal.

That was literally my first note after I watched the first cut of it was, has Nick seen this? Is Nick gonna be okay with this? Cause it's such a real piece and it's so vulnerable the whole time, you know? Like there are parts where I'm just like I find, like you can tell them,

like I don't wanna do this anymore. Especially since we had to go to more of them for the doc. And so it's sort of like, when I can, when I, like I don't want to do this anymore. Especially since we had to go to more of them for the doc. And so it's sort of like when I can, when I want to buy myself, I can sort of, I can kind of, who's out and of course correct and say, I just need a night for myself. I got to stop doing this.

But the fact there's a whole team behind me. I'm like, let's amp it up, which also amps up the anxiety of when the room is completely silent and you're listening to yourself bomb and you're just like, it's like an out of body experience that you just can't stop It's pretty brutal. Some of these rooms are not great, you know, it means that they're not great Yeah, that's that's the hard part about being a stand-up is that they say it takes a really long time and when I first started I was like I'll be able to crush this in like a year or two

But the reason it takes her long is because you're not really getting in front of Real audiences all that time. You don't have the opportunity to be, I can't just walk into the punch line and be like, cool, I'm going to do a set for 200 paying patrons right now. It's me trying to get the attention of the five people in the bar who are drunk, who just want to watch the Giants game, and don't want to listen to me tell them a joke about my wife. And so you have to sort of start learning those tools and just, you did it, obviously, you did a show with me last time.

You did our tech. You did a series of things. And so yeah, it's a big learning curve and it's something that I wasn't expecting. And if I had known now, then what I know now, I don't know that I would have started doing it, but I love it. Really?

Yeah, it's gonna take a long time. Well, I think it's a huge fear that a lot of people have, that they would get up by themselves at a microphone of all the forms of entertainment. It is the one that relies the most on you, you know, you can't even improv, which some of our people are doing now, at least you have a team around you. Right. You know, you have this idea that people can help you out.

But man, stand up, you are up, you and a mic, and that's it, and the audience is you and the mic and your ideas. Yeah. It's all on you. And that's the crazy thing is you like, and especially, it's interesting because before the documentary, I had a hard time going back and watching myself.

I still do. I can't really stand to sit there and scrutinize myself because I'm on worst credit. And that's why even when I got the first cut of the documentary, it took me like three days to watch it. I made my wife watch it first. I can understand that. And I was like, I don't.

I think it's a pretty common thing actually. Yeah, I just can't, but you have to. You have to. You have to, you have to yourself. You have to record your sets. You have to see, like, was that joke just not funny or did you screw it up or, you know, was the delivery off? Am I speaking too quickly? Am I not engaging?

And so the more you can do that, the better, but it's brutal. And it's not something that I'm very well acclimated for. I like to think that I'm amazing at everything and then have there be no proof one way of the other. That's what I'd like to do. Yeah, that's one of the nice things about the night that we did RTX,

is it wasn't recorded. So we can all be like, it recorded a little bit, that was a great time. I wanna do that night too. I know. Actually, the only other time I've ever done stand up I did for you.

And you crushed it. Kind of funny live too. Yeah, I know a seven and a half minute monologue and I'd never done that before. It was really well done. Yeah, but it was fun. Well, a little bit of a home field advantage to you with that crowd, because it was a great experience.

You know what's funny, everyone says that, but that's where you eventually want to get to, right? Like, so if I do this right, if I become a known for standard comedy, people are going to seek me out and come watch me. And so, yes, there's always going to be some audience that doesn't know me, but like, the big like Bill Burr, people don't go, who's Bill Burr? I'm going to go to see Bill Burr, right? So you're always going to preach to the convert to some degree

if you get there. There's two angles to that though, right? Like if you're, if nobody knows who you are, nobody knows, you know, your, your stuff, you can do, you can reuse the same material because you always get into turn of audience. But if you have an audience to seek you out, like you've got a constantly becoming up with new material, like I can't do that, because that's the set I did last time. You know what's funny though? Some people actually,

there are a lot of people that give me feedback that have seen me do the same set over and over again, that actually really like it, because they like to see how I tweak stuff. They go, hey, that joke about your mom being Catholic or whatever, it didn't work, but now it works and you change it this way. So it actually becomes sort of like a hobby for people that follow me, but you're absolutely

right. Like a fresh audience who doesn't know who you are is just endless possibilities. You don't know how it's going to go. And if you can get them on your side and you can start, this is a beautiful thing that happens, especially with the longer sets too, because now I'm doing, like when you first start off, you do three minutes and that seems like an eternity. And eventually now I'm into a point where I'm like, 10 minutes is where I like, because you settle into a groove with people and they're with you and you're in this.

And then you start realizing the beauty of the medium, which is that you're in this moment in time together. And these 200 or 100 or 5 people are just locked in with you and you're just experiencing that together. And so it's really, really cool. And it's something that I think one of the reasons I like it is because you don't get that here, right? Right, now we're sitting in a completely silent studio. And it's something that I think one of the reasons I like it is because you don't get that here, right?

Now we're sitting in a completely silent studio. And there are people around us, but they're not encouraged to interact. No one's like, with the exception of that Eric, we just, we can all agree, it's just terrible. But what I like is that you get that immediacy of, I just said, I wrote something and I can go, like, I can write a joke right now,

we can all write a joke and tonight I can do it and see how it goes. And you see it in people's eyes, like, oh, you got me, you made me laugh. And it's really cool. It's not like anything else you can do. Yeah, it's really fun. We did it a years ago.

When we were a much smaller company, we basically had everyone who appeared on camera, we put them through six weeks of improv training, right? Some like that. Like once or twice a week, we did it. And then at the end of it, everyone felt pretty good. The about their improv training. And I said, okay, well, the next stage in this will be,

we're gonna go and we're all gonna take a standup class and at the end of it, we'll all do five minutes at an open mic. Seriously, it's the one thing in the history of this company that suggested that a number of people came up to me and said, I absolutely will not do this. And some people said, I will quit if you make me do this. That's weird.

I will literally quit my job. Gus, I think you were one of those people. I don't think I was. Yeah, you, I wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't quit. I'm not quitting. But you were one of the people who said, I'm not doing this. Yeah, I wouldn't do it. No way I'm gonna do this.

I know where my bread's buttered. Right. But you're so good at it. You'd be really good at it. I don't know about that. I'm sure. Well, the thing is, like, you're the same thing as you guys. The thing that amazes me was like, Jeff was like Jeff obviously we got Jeff James and Elise to contribute as well

And they came out and they did they've done now a couple shows with me and they were super nervous about it But I'm like you aren't starting from zero You are starting from a performance background You just have to figure out the materials the hardest thing and that really the hardest thing is the unknown of like are people gonna Live so it's someone gonna find my material funny, but you're funny. Yeah, they're gonna find it funny. Yeah, funny. Yeah, funny.

Yeah, they're like, if nothing else, they'll take my shirt off. Yeah, that's fine. Pull a burnt crusher and take your shirt off. I mean, that's exactly what I was thinking of. Yeah, I'm so forward, man. I just started watching that Netflix special at his last night. It's funny. I haven't started it yet.

I couldn't get through it in one of it. Yeah, you know, I mean, it's hit and miss. It's hard for me to watch a lot of specials. I can't watch you to feel like you have to be like you have to see comedy live. Yeah, also knowing how they like edit it and sweeten it. Yeah, that's that's a I don't yeah, I don't I don't have proof of stuff like that, but I have seen a few specials and I'm like there's a reason why they're not showing the audience right at all. For like to show the audience everyone's laughing, but no one you're seeing in that shot is laughing. Yeah, they're like, yeah.

They're kind of agreeing, you're like, that's not a laugh. Like the specials that I love are the ones, I think the funniest ones are the ones that you can tell there was magic in the room at that time. And they're not afraid to cut over and show the people, the people's reaction, because I think there's such a part of standup

that you're having this shared experience. And that can be really hard to get through on camera. Like if you're in the room, if we're all in the room, we're all joining this together, there's a hypnotic feel to it that sometimes just does not translate through the lens. Have you ever watched that Galvanakis live at the onion?

No. Before he got big on, and hang over and got his film career, he was someone who was very well lovedloved in the standup world, but he was as far as international fame, he was not known, but he would put out a few of these specials, and his best one, in my opinion, is Zach Alfinakis' live at the onion or purple onion,

something like that. It's the same with the onion. And... And Zach Alfinakis, as a standup comic, was great, because the way it was always kind of described about him is that Zach didn't really care if you laughed. He wasn't there to actually try to get people to laugh. So therefore the way that he would perform stuff was a bit different.

And when you watch these shows, it's a very intimate experience. It's much different from watching like Kevin Harting, or he's in a goddamn stadium. He's in a small club and he's at his piano or he's sweating in front of the mic and he's just a small club and he's at his piano or he's sweating in front of the mic and he's just being Zach And so you can feel that that dissonance and also Evan flow of the of the show as you watch this special Well the stadium shows are always very weird because you can't like you guys have done giant shows like you guys have stood on on you know The staging it plus someplace like the codec theater like you can't see past if the lighting is just beating down You can't really see past like the third or fourth row.

You can't hope to have a level of intimacy with the audience that you can at a place like punchline, which is only 200 people and it feels very quaint. Like punchline I love because it's just you walk in and it's just a room. That's it. Little tiny stage, a couple steps up to it, and that's it. And there's pictures of like, you know, all around the place of like Robin Williams who just cut his teeth there and a bunch of other famous comedians.

They're like, cool, same stage. That's great. There's a cool simplicity to that. But then you get Madison Square Garden and you get a 50,000 seat soccer, you know, you see Russell Peters performing there. You're like, it's just a different vibe, much different vibe. But that's what I really liked about the kind of fun experience

that I had, had was my first time ever doing stand up. It was 1200 people. Yeah, it came to like a number of people that came there. So it's like it's still like my cover photo on Facebook is just like that's literally the first time I ever did stand up. Like it felt like it was a sea of people. What's crazy to me is when when when you agreed to do it, I was like, Oh, Bernie's gonna crush this. And you came in and you just absolutely you were

I would to sworn that you have done some level of that your entire life, which you sort of have, because that's what you're doing here right now, but you walked on stage, and you have that level of confidence of a seasoned vet who has had a mic and talked to audiences for the last 15 years of his life. You should have seen me the five hours before

that in my hotel room. Really? Exactly. Like, paste a hole in the floor of the hotel room. My whole thing is I memorized when I'm doing something. I just get it to where I don't have to think about it. I just memorized, memorized, memorized. I've always been very fortunate I've been able to memorize like a ton of dialogue and things like that.

So it's like, I remember in the room that day, I had a goal for myself. There was seven and a half minutes and I had to get memorized every minute, one minute per hour. It was my goal. So I was, yeah, I was just pacing back and forth. That's awesome. Saying it again and again and again. I did the same thing with my bit for the RTX thing. I just memorized the whole thing and that's the way. Like a few of the people that there had like notes and that's not a very common thing for comics to have like a, like a set list almost on them. And them and at least almost like had her whole thing on her phone and was looking at it, a good amount, at least killed it though.

It becomes part of her persona, too. Like at the end of waiting for the punchline or as part of the documentary, there is a showcase with you hosting a lot of other people from Jeff, you mentioned Jeff, or James and Elise, but then other people as well. Do you want to save that? So we can see then other people as well. Do you wanna say that? So we can see people.

Sure I guess. Oops. That's okay, it's up to you. It's a really cool moment where I want it. Like part of what I like doing as I like trying to entice other people to do this. And when we did the Let's Play spring break, it was one of the first times I actually got it

to sit down and talk with James and at least like get to know them. We had sort of floated around each other and been in content and stuff, but sitting down and actually having a beer with someone and talking to them. And they're obviously in LA and at least, you know, I found out she loved stand-up, I found out she loved Saturday Night Live and all these things. And there's always the one second that someone goes, yeah, I always kind of wanted to do that.

And then it just pops in my brain. I'm like, I'm going to get you to do that now. And so if you've mistakenly told me at some point that you have always thought maybe that'd be a fun thing to do, I'm gonna make you do it. Yeah. And and I'm gonna be that asshole friend that pushes you out onto the ledge and like jumps with you. Because it's fun and that's the thing. James and Elise, the phenomenal, Elise is a phenomenal phenomenal like personality. James great too. I don't want to, I don't want to knock him, but like, but no, we all get it. It's no at least. Yeah, at least just has like,

she has the bigger deficit that I feel like she thinks that she has to make up for. Whereas James, I'm like, James, it wasn't as nervous as she was, but I knew I was like, I know that you're gonna be more nervous, but you're gonna crush harder than anyone else on that stage that night,

because she's just so endearing and so fun to watch do anything. So Canadian. And so fucking believably, unapologetically, or rather very apologetically Canadian. Yeah. See, I want her to do more. I want her and James to do more of this. At least has a ton of fans in the community and in the company.

Like, there's a lot of people that work here that are fans of Elise. Like legitimately, like legitimately, like want to watch everything that she's in. We watched a trailer for the monopoly show that y'all do and she's in it and she has one line of trailer and it's the funniest thing. It's just perfect. It's perfect. Yeah. God bless her. It was great watching them film that. One of these I love about the doc too is is though it's not, it's not one specific note. Like what's it like to do? Comey, there's a lot of other layers in there that I like as well. There was one that really spoke to me as we talked about a little bit earlier about what it's like

to live in San Francisco and a lot of the comics that you talk to, they have to come from two hours away to perform for five minutes. And they'll make that journey because they can't afford to live in San Francisco. Yeah, that was my pitch to the docs team and to Hannah when we were talking about this, I was like, I really want to highlight the scene. I want to do a couple of things in this. One, I want to show people what it takes to go from

being from zero, from never having done a mic, to then trying to get through a club system like the punch line. Like, what does it take to go from doing open mics to, I am now an officially sort of past person at a very reputable club. And then I also wanted to show people that against the background, the backdrop of San Francisco. Because obviously you are just a product of your surroundings,

you're a product of the conditioning of where you live, and that's where a lot of material comes from. But what happens when you're a struggling artist and you're living in the most expensive city in the United States. You know, you're living in a place where, and not only that, but you're living in a place where you're trying to just do your thing

and you're looking around and there are people on their 20s for a millionaires and people on their 40s for a homeless. Yeah. And you're seeing people dumpster dive and you're seeing that sort of the left social. Yeah, there's a poop patrol, which is a perfect example and thank God,

because we need them, but that's silly of that we do need them, right? That's absurd. It's absurd that San Francisco, and that's the thing is like you ask, why do I still live there? Because it's a phenomenal city. It's beautiful.

It is, there are not a lot of places like San Francisco in the United States that you can live. Because it really is a European style city where you can just live and exist there and work there and never really have to leave that seven by seven blocks. Lots of different cultures around to, you know, one of our favorite cities. Yeah, it's phenomenal. And that's the sad thing though, is like, I've lived there long enough to be that guy that

says, I remember when this city has changed so much, like, I've been there 12 years and I got there right at the end of the first dot com bubble burst. I mean, that at the end of the first calm bubble burst I mean that was a second whatever was in the late 80 or late 90s early 2000s And so things were cheaper and there was still very much a counterculture there and tech wasn't really tech was calm It wasn't what it is now and so now everything yeah It wasn't apps. It wasn't iPhones. It wasn't you know, yeah, like back end servers and cloud computing and now everything's tech. I'll let you scoot and the counter. That's my opener, by the way.

Yeah, if anyone I came to the show, it's funny because I saw it. The doc, the first kind of it. I was like, I was like, oh, yeah, these are litch tutors. Cause you explain what it is for people who don't know. And then literally two weeks later, they were in awe state. Festation. Yeah, it's great.

It's everywhere. Oh, it's a good, good word to describe them. They are, it is, yeah, I mean, they're just like a bad, bad viral infection that just spreads throughout your city. It's also my favorite joke in the dust. It seems. Yeah. It's the last one I wrote for. It seems like a great idea. That's just people ruin. Oh, it's a perfect. It's a great way to show humanity, right? Because at first, everyone gets really excited and then everyone gets

really drunk and then everyone leaves these things around like their garbage. I saw one of my walk home last night that was just out in the middle of a park and it looked like a dead body. It was just like a teal over dead, dirty shit. I get very old man with these things because they clearly say do not drive these things

on the sidewalk because they can go like 20 miles per hour but every motherfucker's on the sidewalk. Yeah. Just like and like gangs of them, like four frat guys going 20 miles prior down a sidewalk. I'm like, cool. I really would love to throw something in the right now. Close up coming to diet in the situation like that is right.

My bike went time in the guy like ran up on me at night and like honked and then got around me. Just as we were coming to a stop sign too. So I ended up stopping and I looked at the guy and the thing and he was windows down and I go, what the fuck you honking at me? What's your problem? And he says, you're in the road. I'm on a bike and he goes, he goes, you're in the road

and then he like pulls off and I'm like, the fuck is wrong with this idiot? That's where you go. Yeah, this fucking idiot. You know what I feel like. Like I'm in San Francisco and I'm just a huge bike culture but you do have to wonder like aggressive bike culture. You're like, is this a smart idea?

Like, they make all this poor bicyclists drive in the street in this packed city where everyone is just trying desperately to make more money and get to their place faster and do give the fuck about you and it's doggy dog. And like, then you put a nice person on a bike, you're just the rest people are disaster. Man, there's a lot of mean people on bikes

in San Francisco though Like you have to be cyclists, but yeah, that's somebody you look at them And it's like you can tell us their entire lifestyle, you know, oh, they're all like their entire identity is built in the Tite shorts and they got the George that are old Yeah, they got the like the chrome backpacks with the little bike buckle thing Yeah, they got the whole the whole deal the bike the guys that deliver stuff are the ones that I'm like, you guys are the real heroine. Yeah, that's really hard.

But I think if San Francisco is, it's almost like a cautionary tale because it's the best geographic, at least in the US, the best geographic illustration of the divide of wealth in this country. And which is a growing problem. And the thing that really deserves me

about the problems that San Francisco has with that is that it's also very stereotypically the most liberal city, left leaning city in the US. I mean, you often have jokes about Berkeley and everything else in San Francisco. And it's like if San Francisco can't tackle this problem with all the money in the world,

does anyone else have any hope in doing that? Well, especially when you go to places where they don't care. Well, it's interesting because I'm with two minds with how liberal we can get in San Francisco. Because there is a tipping point where you do start to get so liberal that you're sort of enabling people to do, for instance, shop owners, there's nothing they can do if there's a homeless person

outside of their shop. You can call the cops, but the cops can't do anything. They're not allowed to physically take the person in because the person is choosing to be homeless. Does that make sense? No, just so the loitering laws are outweighed by people's like civil rights in San Francisco. And it's interesting. I'm not saying one's right or wrong, but there's nothing that can compel the

cop unless they see a crime to pick a person up off of the streets and take them away from business owners business. So like, there is a point with which you have to be like, maybe we should be a slightly more conservative and have a few, I don't know, some harsh social, I don't know, I don't know how to fix it. And it's sad because you do see people who need help.

But when you first get there, it's easy to write off the homeless problem saying, oh, those people are just drug abuse, there's those people who are just alcoholics. And it's not. It's actually more about mental health. And a lot of these people just can't function in society, not because I'm sure maybe they're abusing substances,

but that's not the cause. That's just the sort of like, that's one of the symptoms of the bigger problem, which is that we don't have, we've just failed them on such a total level that they're just, we're just okay with, like there are certain streets that are just lined with homeless people,

and that's just how it is, that's them people go well, that's how it is, and that's how it's gonna be, but it's not, it doesn't need to be that way. You'll be able to be desperate, like, well, we can't do anything. It's sheer apathy, yeah. You're just like, I just, what are we gonna do? We can't do anything.

So I'll just pretend like they don't exist and walk around them and when they ask me for things, you, and it sucks because you have to build a hard skin. It is an ass for money and stuff all of that. Of all my left leaning friends, the ones that live in San Francisco talk about homelessness far differently than everyone else. You know, it's like a, it's a different issue

in Northern California and San Francisco than it is anywhere else. You know, it's like a, it's a different issue in Northern California and San Francisco than it is anywhere else. Like usually when, you know, so even in Austin, when people talk about homelessness, it's always like, I kind of find a way to help everybody and everything, but it's like,

it's a little different there, you know? So I'm just, I'm curious. I do think it's kind of a little bit, just from the way the wealth is distributed. It's a little bit of a canary in the mind shafts, kind of a thing. Like I'm looking, I look really closely in San Francisco. So I'm glad the doc touched on some of little bit of a canary in the mind shafts kind of a thing. Yeah. I look really closely in terms of this go.

So I'm glad the doc touched on some of that, but my favorite moment in the doc, I have to say, favorite moment in the doc, the moment they really grabbed me, it's early on when you have one of these experiences in a very small place, it's not a great set. You acknowledge that and it's really tough. And it's pretty much everyone's worst fear

who thinks about going up in front of a crowd by themselves at a mic, it just doesn't go well. Couple things fall flat and you're just like, oh, and then you get in the car and go, I got a rush because I got to get across down to my next one. I'm like, next one. I was just like, the idea that you just kept going.

Like most people would have just gone home and just pulled the covers up. That's like having your like, add date, be like, all right, time to go on another point. Literally right after it just gets in the car and he's like, all right, like shake it off, let's go to the next one.

And I was hooked at that point. I'm like, I've got to see where this journey goes. That's point. Yeah, I mean, there's been multiple times, I'll be honest, the remultiple times where I have been like, I'm not going to the next one. I'm gonna go get a bag of goldfish and just, my sorrows away, while watching, while not watching. That's your sorrow food. Big trouble, I'm not going to the next one. I'm going to go get it back. A goldfish and just my sorrows away.

Well, watch it while not watching sorrow food trouble. Oh, yes, my that's my comfort. Oh, yeah, live goldfisher. Right. You remember? It's like a like, like, from the 40th to the joke.

You should not feel good about that. Although our global audience is like, he eats goldfish. So that's why I made the joke. There are people who listen to this podcast. You won't know what a fucking goldfish is. Yeah, they know it's a cracker. The cool shits. Yeah, bullshit. International coverage farms who listed this podcast who won't know what a fucking goldfish is. They have a note. It's a cracker. The bullshit.

Bullshit. International. Preparate farms for what? If he wants to show you nose what a fucking goldfish is, they call them goldies down there. They call them cheese arousine. They call them the goldies, cheese arousine. Say it with enough confidence

if people believe you. The main thing is, First thing of November, what's more fun to make fun of? Canada or Australia? Australia. Canada. Canada.

I mean, I mean Australia. Australia is insane Canada. Because they're all, yeah, they're all insane. Yeah. Canada. I mean, I'm in Australia. Australia is insane Canada. Because they're all, yeah, they're all insane. Yeah. Canada, like, they're actually nice. So you're the here to drop them. They're crazy in Australia. Sorry, Australia. Actually, I love Australia. I'm trying to find a way to get over there again. We gotta wrap this up.

All right, but before we go, I want to remind everyone that blood fist is out now. Do it. Available on digital. I'm looking at it right now and iTunes. I had to verify for myself. You can get the Gus scenes as an iTunes extra in iTunes. We did it, everybody. We did it. You can see all of my wonderful scenes that got cut from the movie.

Thanks, blood fist. So yeah, go check it out. And we'll see you guys next week. We'll be back live. Just looked it up and I'll show you a goldfish crackers a called Finnie Malouse So Music Do you like apples? Example. Together in TREPIT hosts...

Characans are free to deal with nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teeth cryptic podcast... F**k face! Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific but short. Listen to the music. solved and Ruestrite's cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short.

Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes? Thanks.