Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Proposal Problem - #340

Episode Date: September 8, 2015

RT Discusses Marriage Proposals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers will learn that an Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now on P-Cock. Hello everyone, welcome to the received podcast. Hi!

This one brought to you by Dollar Shave Club, Fandual and Squarespace. There they are. Woo! Hello! Thanks for our sponsors for supporting the show. How long have we had that intro? Since we started doing the video podcast, three years now? It was September of 2012, right?

Remember we got that one, we're like, oh, this is just Tampa. We didn't have that to begin with, did we? I feel like we did. It was pretty early on, yeah. Yeah. It's been like three years? I remember like we did. It was pretty early on, yeah. It's been like three years. I remember we used that in like advertisement for the live stream podcast.

That like little spinning microphone thing. Man, three years. It's a long time. It's almost exactly three years. Yeah. Maybe like right after packs that we started doing it. Yeah. We should have a celebratory one.

We should have a make it. Oh, we should have a celebratory one, I think. Yeah. Whoa. Is it really every podcast like some former masturbation? It's like, well, so interesting. People are going to listen to what I have to masturbatory one I think. Whoa, is it really every podcast like some some former masturbation? It's like oh so interesting people are gonna listen to what I have to say for an hour and a half guys My mom texted me this morning. I am not allowed to talk about masturbation or poop anymore on the podcast so Okay, then yeah

As long as there's at least one other person involved so you gonna talk about that orgy had I Guess it's fair game. Yeah, yeah, right. Who are we? Oh? I'm Gus. I'm Aaron. I'm Barbara. I'm Brandon. Thanks for joining us Aaron. Thank you for having me Why don't you think me and Brandon because you all are normal you're all regular errands like that's normal weird Aaron's like a treat. It's unusual to have Aaron. I agree. I agree. He's a delicious tree. My hair cut. I want that hair cut. Yeah. You don't have the same hair texture though. I've been trying to find a new look.

Barbara sent me to this hair salon. It's great hair salon. Barbara has my mic. She... it's a nice mic. But she sent me this hair salon and she didn't... she just booked the appointment and I went and went and did it she not tell me how much it would be and I was quite surprised when I went to the counter It was I thought it's good it's for a woman's Haircut it's or whatever you guys get it trimming how much was it? It was like with tip I can't even say what was it before before tip? Before tip it was $55. That's expensive.

That's really expensive. It's a nice point. And with tip it was $56. I don't understand. Why do women get charged with for haircuts? Like is there really that much more work involved with the woman's haircut than a man's haircut? I honestly think it would be the other way around.

I think so too. Because with the girl's haircuts, especially they have long hair, you're usually just trimming it up or like, you're taking length off and with guys you need to like contour to the scalp and do all this like weird magical haircut. How often you get a haircut? Me? Yeah. I should be getting one every like two to three months. Yes for a guy. Yeah, but I haven't got one in in a while so my hair is kind of like I feel like I see women are typically charged More than double what men pay. Yeah, my haircuts I think cost I usually get them when I get highlights So it's hard to know but I think my haircuts cost about like $90 see that's that's crazy Yeah, but how much do they charge for woman's haircut at supercuts? They don't do women's haircuts I don't think it's super cut. They just give hair cut. Chris get with a cape Mark of super cuts Chris gets the

Yeah, but that's what that's why Chris looks like that. Yeah, sure looks like someone blasted his hair onto the back of his head with a cannon And then it just was all right. Oh like that. Yeah, do you all remember the flow bee? It was like the back of my head. It was like to cut your hair. Yeah, it was like Clippers and blades you could cut your hair with and you attached it to a vacuum And that's how it powered and you would just basically vacuum your head with clippers. Yeah, what? Well, I also probably it was an old product like they stopped making a lot of girls too. I don't know. Probably not. Haircut with a cape. That's all the game.

How great would it be to go to an expensive salon and they just get out that vacuum cleaner thingy? And they're just like, Oh! Or like a bowl and just cut around it. You could be like, I want to open a hipster haircut barbershop and that's the only two haircuts you give. You get the flow bee or the bowl cut. And it's like authentic with like an actual bowl you cut around. And like a trash bag around your arms

Special like mustache treatments, too, and I want to charge like 95 bucks for it. No, no, no, not no mustache treatments I also yeah, I think it's $90 after tip. I think it's like 80 like 75 or 80 for my hair too much $90 of the mandatory $90 tip I'm also this place that I sent you. I forgot to tell you in advance, there, I don't understand this at all. They don't accept anything but cash tips. Like when you're filling out your credit card, they don't allow you to add a tip on there. They only take cash tips.

They have a little mailbox for the tips that I found out. Yeah, it's like for each person. Yeah, for each person. It's like, no one knows what you can. It's like a mail slot or whatever. And so it's anonymous tipping, but I saw a no lady writing her name on it. She's like I usually write my name because I tip well So I want them to like me. She was writing her name on it I think she thought she was tipping well, but she put like

Three dollars in or something like that. She was really elderly and she's like She just did such a great job on my hand. She got it like three crisp ones. I was like You can take a date to the movies, order a giant coke, popcorn, and still have enough money left for ice cream afterwards. I'm so glad the place I go to now. You just put the tape in the receipt, like every tip in the receipt, like every other place in the world,

and then the person gets it. The place I went to for years, you had to walk back to the salon, and then like put the money on their desk. And you've already said goodbye. Yeah. You know, like you can't say, to walk back to the salon and then like put the money on their desk. Oh yeah. And you've already said goodbye. Yeah. You know, like you can't say I'll be right back with your tip.

You say goodbye in the beginning. It's like the most awkward thing in the world. I remember my mom used to do this thing at the hairdresser. I used to go to an Ottawa. They usually had a different person washing your hair than the person doing your haircut. So when she tipped the hairdresser's shoot, always give like a toony to the person who washed your hair too. Oh hair Like thanks for the hair wash Sweet two bucks

That seems like the washing the hair would be the easy job unless you're dealing with like a really gross head Yeah, so you know other countries always get on the US about tipping food servers and not paying Waiters and waitresses enough do other countries also tip Waiters and waitresses enough do other countries also tip Their hairdressers the Canada doesn't count because they're close enough to the US. Yeah, well I know like Australia. They don't tip at all. Right. Well, what about like hairdressers? I think that's like the same deal really yeah Like Valais or you know something like that right well, I, I think that the theory is that people in other countries get paid enough Right, but they don't need to but hairdressers don't fall into that same category like wait staff do in the US where they have to be paid a minimum amount

Yeah, I think I fucking fine. Oh, I'm never worked in here. Well, we're not live right now, so we can't find out Yeah, this is PTA thanks to because to the Labor Day Hall of Fame. What? Thanks for the holiday. In my day, we used to work through the Labor Day. You told me this was live. Aaron is now finding out it's not Monday night. We do that. Aaron, we have to be careful. We have to censor you.

You're too much of a wild man. I'm a, you mentioned, sorry, I'm going to go off kind of tangent here. Aaron mentioned Valet, which made me think about a crazy story. It's really not that crazy. You were a valet? I was, but I'm going to continue with the story. So maybe you not that crazy. You wore a valet? I was, but I couldn't continue with the shirt.

So maybe you can give me some insight into this. I was up in the Seattle area last week. I was there for some meetings and then for packs. And I went and I ate at this really nice, like, it was too fancy for a restaurant for me. And I went there. It was really, really good food. But when I got there, I pulled up in my car and there was a valet service because it's

a fancy place. And I get out of the car and the valet's like, all right, we'll take your car and he starts driving off. And I'm like, he didn't give me a ticket. So then I go to the other valet who's standing there and I'm like, are you all the actual valets? Do I get a ticket or something? Oh no, no, take it.

We'll just remember you. We'll bring your car back. I was like, all right, this doesn't seem right. This is also like a really nice place. It's a really fancy place and they wouldn't give you a ticket because they'd be like They'd know your name before you came out. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like Mr. Schroler. Here's your, you know, Prius or whatever and then it's right there and you wouldn't need a ticket.

Yeah. So it almost be offensive. I went in eight and I was like they're not gonna have my car there. I'm gonna have to tell them which one it is. Walked out. My car was waiting for me. Engine on, you know doors open. But they never took it away. I just stayed there the whole night. I saw them drive it off. I was like, how did they get it back?

I would forget something every day. I'm gonna be like, is this your car? If not, it's your lucky day. Yeah. Or not. My brother used to have this thing, well, I still does. My brother works in the service industry.

And he, he valets every now and then, but he waits for a really, really nice car, and he does it at, you know, the really nice hotels here in town. He waits for something really nice, like a Rolls Royce or a Bentley or something like that. And right before he gives the car back, he just gives it a really good fart before he, and so as soon as he opened it up, it's just this waft of fart. And the people have said complains like the Driscoll. They don't have you and stuff like that.

And they'll be like, there was an obnoxious odor in our vehicle when we got it. And we had to roll down the window and air it out for three blocks before it left it. It lingered with the car. And every time. The first time I heard it, his parts is obnoxious. obnoxious smells. And he's my brother when he's so proud of those things. He's like, his way to stick it to the man in his weird way is farting in really nice vehicle. Can they get soaked in? Yeah, absolutely

It's like it's a really nice leather that's still kind of absorbing things. It's supple like soft leather You know calf leather and it just absorbs those farts like a I know fart absorbing machine Ladies joe man, I'm like you're a writer here, right? I am. You're a genius. Thank you. That was, that was the best thing I ever came up with. We're going to come up with a term for that, like farting in a car,

and getting it over to someone else. It's like, something like German word for that. Farfengo. Farfengo. Farfengo. Yeah, that's, that's crazy. I don't think I've ever had that. One time, I dropped my car off at a valley here in Austin.

And so I got to the restaurant at like dusk. So I was wearing my sunglasses. And you go to lunch a lot. So you see, I keep my sunglasses like in my center console. So we got there, wearing my sunglasses, and I saw them out from my normal glasses on. I think my sunglasses in the center console. The valley takes it away by the time I'm donating. It's nighttime

So come back out get my car take it home Next morning I get my car my sunglasses are gone like mother fucker And their prescription sunglasses. I don't know why I didn't even take those So I go down to the restaurant like listen I don't know how to say this but your Valley stole stole my sunglasses. Like, no, he didn't. I was like, no, I'm pretty sure he did. Then they're like, no, sir, you just misplaced your sunglasses.

I don't put those sunglasses anywhere else. Also, that's like a harsh thing to say to you. Like, shouldn't they be like, oh, well, let's check and ask him. I'm gonna say that, but you keep. Yeah, then I argue with them. Then they're like, oh, well, you know, we had an outside Valley company. It's not us.

Well, let me talk to them. Eventually, they gave me a check for like, I had just bought those sunglasses too. They were like to them. Eventually they gave me a check for, I had just bought those sunglasses too, they were like a week old. They gave me a check for the replacement valet, I had to go buy another pair. So it's just obnoxious.

Yeah, and it's like, you don't look like the guy that's gonna go around scamming valet. Yeah, I understand if it's like, you know, you know, you know, shady, yeah, I know I imagine, but that's why like, you know, valet, like when I worked as a valet, it was one of those things like no one wanted to take

Anything from a car because people are already looking for something to be taken Yeah, and so like even if you don't take anything which you know I rarely never took something Didn't take something someone's gonna accuse you of like you know taking sunglasses or this one guy accused me of Roaning his transmission because he- Did you fart on it? No, I didn't. That's my brother. I don't fart in vehicles. Or at all.

I take naps in them or something. But you know, like, when I was, I drove it back around and the car had like 300,000 miles on it. And when I drove it back around, it just died. I mean, right there on the drive. And the guy was like, what did you do? And I was like, your car is a piece of shit. What do you mean what did I do?

And he was like, we're going to, you guys are going to have to pay for this. I'm like, no.'s a piece of shit. And it's old. What do you mean what did I do? And he was like, we're gonna, you guys are gonna have to pay for this. I'm like, no, and so then, you know, the manager comes out and he's like, here, and what you do is like, I drove the car. I did my job and he's like, all right, you know, and they ended up buying his transmission and all this stuff. Yeah, it's like. He really did that strategically. He's like, my car is on its last leg.

I'm gonna take it to some poor valet kid. He's gonna drive it. It's gonna bust. That's a totally not be the valet company's fault. Unless you throw it from drive into reverse as you were driving or something like that. I can't even do a J-turn in the driver or anything. I just drove it right there.

I didn't do my normal stuff, like donuts in the parking lot or anything. It was just a pure drive and I still got accused. The thing is, a valet company has to fight them against. It's like a fight that they don't want to do. And they haven't insurance anyway, so they're like, well, we'll just pay for this one. And if it gets to be where we're using up our $50,000 retainer or whatever for the year, then yeah, we'll start fighting things. But it's easier to just go like, yeah, okay, you check. Whatever. Yeah. Did, so do Valais, sorry, this is going to become the Valley podcast.

Yeah, yeah. Did so do valleys? Sorry, this is gonna become the valley podcast Do valleys look down like let's say you're parking at like a fancy Restaurant and someone drives up with like a shitty beat up 300,000 mile car like do valleys are valleys like I don't want to drive that one like do you look down on the people get out of those cars? It's not looking down. It's I think there's or did you look down? No, I never I'd never look It's not driven shitty cars. I still drive shitty cars. And I tip well, valleys and stuff. It's more of a thing, you think that you may not get a good tip. You still provide the same service, or at least I did. But you see a car like that, there's something to be said for how people take care of their

vehicles, or how they take care of their affairs in general. So if it's a really dirty car and it's got you know food in it and hamburgers and roaches or whatever, you know, it's like that probably not gonna get $5. And so, you know, that's the only thing, but as far as like, you know, then pulling up to Sullivan's or something and then, you know, old beat up Chevy or whatever, it doesn't matter. What's your stance on, you know, how like you're staying at a hotel and you pull up to the hotel and there's those guys outside that open the doors for you, the car. Like I don't tip those guys because I could do that myself.

Like I appreciate the gesture and that it's like fancy and all that stuff. But I don't, I'm not going to carry on a bunch of ones. So I could tip the guy who did this for me. Yeah. And they think it's sassy. Like I was in Vegas and a guy went to get my luggage because I had the hotel hold on to it until my flight and At that point Normally I would have given something but he came up to me and I was just like, you know what you and your hotel have taken enough of my money

Sir, well, I'm sorry, but I cannot give anymore and he was he was Obviously, that that to him right no no maybe that's why he's bigger than me but I mean that's the after like talking about him in his hotel getting like grabbing the luggage just like there's some things I can do

myself like I've never just told the valley when you value a car look man I see my car over there I don't want to wait in this line because give me my keys and I will just go get my car and drive away I've never seen my car I've never seen see my car over there. I don't want to wait in this line. He's giving me my keys and I will just go get my car and drive away. I've never seen my car.

I've never seen like my car that close. I don't really have to look at a lot somewhere else. Oh, no, sometimes it's close. Such a funny conversation. It's like, when you have your car on the valet, it's just off to the right. And the car's right there. I've never had my car valet, so I can't really relate

to you guys. Yeah. Let's exclude Barber from this podcast. I've never had my car valid so I can't relate to you guys. Yeah Let's exclude barbell from this podcast You were talking about like the the bags in Vegas one time. I was staying at a hotel in Vegas And the same situation where my flight wasn't until later so I had to check my bags Yeah, and I was gonna pick them up later So I took my bags and normally I don't know I never know what the proper etiquette is like who do you tip? Who do you not tip so like I went to drop my bags off And I always thought you tip the guy who brings you your bags not the guy who takes your bags

So I drop my bags off with this guy and he's like he's riding up the claim to claim ticket and everything and he gives it to me And he goes and I like take a step to walk away He goes hey just so you know I'm not the same guy who's gonna go get your bags to be a different guy who gets your bag Yes, he did I look to him and I was like, why is he telling me, oh, he wants a tip. Yeah. Oh, did you tip him?

Yeah, I did. Oh, okay. That was his kind of stuff. So it's places are tip share, I think. So that way it discourages like, you know, people running and like being cutthroat about service. You know, so it's like, okay, at the end of the shift, we all get the same pool of money or whatever. But that guy probably wasn't going to be on shift or something when, you know, he's probably going to leave.

Yeah, he's probably going to leave or whatever the case is. And like, also, if I were in Vegas and I was some sort of service person, I'd want to front load all my tips as much as I could because when people are leaving Vegas, they are broke. Yeah, that's true. You know, have a heart. Or they have a ton.

Or they have a ton of money, which is never the case. But, you know, we were supposed to go to Vegas. We should still go to Vegas. We should still go to Vegas. We should still go to Vegas. I was thinking, well, my Vegas, next Vegas trip is scheduled around Brittany. Brainspear? Yeah.

She's back, right? She just started back up. You're on the stage in the fallout. She starts, every time she starts, she like quits again. But yeah, she's wanted to see, Paul's wanted to see Brittany for years and it's just like, yeah, the next time we go to Vegas, we in Vegas so many times, we just have to schedule

her on that. I'd like to see you. But she takes so much time off. She's back though. For a week and then she goes back on her head. Is that it? Yeah. She comes back for a week at a time.

I don't know, I just know that I think next week's her last weekend and then she's taking another month off i mean like you know what good for her but i've never been to like a britney spears or a tailor swift or uh... one of those like modern shows that hold on let me think that only went to concerts in the next six years my first concert was van hailing uh... i will say

and then the beetles that's that's impossible as you know that was not van hailing uh... i will say and then the beetles that's that's impossible as you know that was not the beetles uh... rolling stones yet but not the beetles other bands sorry i want point anymore and uh... anyway i don't know what a modern shows like i imagine they're fun but like

you know as far as the production value and stuff because all the shows i've seen are like rock kind of shows and those you know those guys and guys kind of do their thing and they strut and whatever but they don't have like backup dancers and all the stuff. South by Southwest shows in those because like we went to see Milo Green and yeah but that's not that that's again that's like a rock kind of show it's a it's a rock form like a production yeah like a show. Like Brittany does, I'm assuming there's like lice and tigers and all sorts of stuff.

Oh, that would be a tiger. It'll be pissed off, like, oh, and I don't see a tiger. Likes and tigers and, I mean, doing this like, I think concerts have probably gotten better in the last 10 or 15 years just because they had to because that's where you make money now. You make money, you know, money touring and stuff instead of from CDs and records and everything.

So I imagine like a concert now, that kind of production is just so jam-packed. I sound so old right now. But like a Britney Spears thing is like an event. It's not just like Eddie Van Halen goes up there and plays guitar for two hours. And then it's done. It's like lights and lasers and blow.

Yeah, but that sounds more entertaining to me. Because if you're really into the band, like the spirit, no, the like Van Halen or something, actually seeing a band just play and feel the music and enjoy the music rather than like have it be a whole spectacle. Well, it's a difference, I think, between watching a band play and a person perform.

Perform, right? But then it's a comment. It's a performer and it's a and it person performed. Performed. But then it's a comment. It's a performer and it's a music. It's like, it's a stage reduction with the music that you like. Yeah, because I know Brandon's really into the Britney Spears. I'm not. I'm really not. I like that you blame it on Paula, but it's definitely you that wants to go to Vegas.

I just hope she wears the outfit. The red one? The leather one? Oh, we all know. No, no no the baby hit me one more time Oh the school girl one school person. Yeah, yeah so I Mean the thing is though she is residency at a major strip hotel It can't just be a good show like I want tigers. I want trampolines. I want flips trampolines What about the red leather outfit though from? No, not a hmm. Well, the one was a video with the red leather thing

It doesn't matter anyway Oops, I did it again. I knew it was. I just didn't want to admit it. Yeah, and tons of snakes. I love so I can never Yeah, and tons of snakes. I love so I can never think love Britney Spears without thinking of that Photo a few years ago when she went crazy and shaved her hair and her umbrella and was like she was like getting out of the car That's another photo you can't ever forget Famous Britney photo her Vagine a part I don't think I've ever seen that photo

just I open the card door and it's just like this I'll not pull it up on the iPad I'm looking at my photo so I can see if I can throw it up which photo was it the you'll know what you see it look at the shape photo of her head but she's superimposed on Edward Norton from American history I guess yes that's the red leather. Yeah, it's a good outfit. Barbara, take note on this. Okay. Take a note.

Where do you even get that? At the store. I don't know. Probably a sex store. Now look up the one that's her. Like some type of BDR sex. American History X, where she's got the bald head. And the next one's dead.

And then I also still have to take note of that as well. Actually, I'll take note of everything. Everything I say. Fart in a car right before you get out. Only if it's fancy That's what you got to take well far in the next Uber. We're in Aaron moon me last night From his apartment window. Oh, yeah moon your significant other. Is that a thing? I don't know. Apparently my my my my my my my did last night. I thought so hairy. Why is two?

Ah, that's annoying. He just moved into a new apartment I could see his window from the street And so I just wanted to see which window he was in so I called him and I'm like hey look at your window. There it is. Oh god. That's what he looked like when he looked out the window. And he's like hey hold on, hold on a second. I was like what and all of a sudden I see two butt cheeks against the window and he's

like you still looking. He's still down there. He's he's. It was beautiful right? There was definitely like other students walking by. My apartment also faces the capital and all that stuff. It's beautiful right there's definitely like other students walking by Area to my apartment also faces the Capitol and all that stuff it's like right There so I mean and it's at night you can see the ass in the window I was pretty proud of it because it's hard to like I had to go behind my TV and

Shimme put my pants down and then when I finally got my ass pressed against the Window I had to be on my tiptoes so if a cop sees that and then tries to find out Who it is can he legally like ask you to show him your ass? No, I mean you're like if they're like, or no, no, if they use me sir, I'm a police officer, I need to see your ass. Or in a line if they have to bring somebody, you know, to identify you and they find you and they have you and like four other dudes show your ass.

Yeah, but do you need to have a plane of glass so they could smoosh it against it? Because you're too much for it. You're too much for it? I smoosh my ass. Yeah, I know he was like doing the classic like butt against the window. I was shimmy to it.

I shimmy like this. I guess it was so, it was cold that glass. I don't know why. Then I started thinking, I'm a girl obviously. As a guy, when you moon people, how do your balls not show? Because you're leaning over, right? And so your balls would hang down? Balls are in the front.

That's what I said. That's what I told her. But they, like, if you're leaning over. No. I assumed you're legs are together because you're moaning. They were spread a little bit. I mean, if you're spread wide a bit, yeah, you can have like a bell happening where it's like hanging there in the middle.

To be honest, a bunch of stuff is smashed against the glass. It could have been my balls, too. The balls are in the front, though. They are in the front and they don't just easily go in between them, but that's not how things are designed. Otherwise, your butt cheeks should be slamming against your balls.

If you don't know, is anyone else gonna go home tonight and try this out and figure out? I know, I will. Balladistic. Yeah, I know, I'm just like, well, how does it work? I haven't thought about the first, you've been track to herself. Oh yeah, I just think of something colder.

The first time I was ever moond was when I was four years old. It works. Who wants a four year old? Here's the thing. So I had interesting. I wasn't directed at him. No, well, sort of. So in my growing up, I grew up in a lot of bar situations because my parents were like, it's the

late 80s, early 90s, you still take your kid to a bar in Texas, you know, all the time constantly. So anyway, we went as was the style as was the style. So we went to this comedy club, I remember, and I was just, I mean, I was like four years old. It was my dad, my mom, and we were watching this comedian who was like not really, he wasn't really great. He was very campy and like, but not kind of humor. But every time he tell a really bad joke, a growner, he put his pants down and moon the audience and he'd just go like that with his pants. So you like saw his butt up and down. Well, my parents didn't know this and I didn't know this. So when he pulled down his pants and started doing that I

Balled I was just so upset and so tearful. I mean they had to take me out my parents, you know I had to sit down there. Dranks and I was I didn't know it was a grown man's ass And I don't you know, I think I'd see my dad's ass, baby. You know, I was four years old. So anyway I go outside. I'm very upset very upset The comedian eventually comes out and sits down next to me and my parents are like, can you say something to him? The comedian I'll never forget as he says Don't worry. It was fake. That wasn't real what you saw up there It was that wasn't my real butt. It was a fake butt. I was like it was fake

He's like, yes, that wasn't that wasn't real but I was like it was fake he's like yes that wasn't that wasn't real I was like Wow, okay, then that's okay and then it wasn't till I was like 13 or 14 and thinking about it later. I was like I like you're still thinking about it because it affected me Well, I was 13 or 14. I was like I was like that was a real ass That guy did not have there's no such thing as a fake ass. It's weird, and nine years from now, I'm gonna be thinking the same thing about last night. I think a fake ass would be more disturbing than a real ass.

Yeah, I didn't know. I thought it was a plastic covering that covered his ass, and so I was like, oh, that's not the real thing. That's a protective shield. You gotta understand, I was a little kid in a bar. I'm gonna get a hair onto it. That's not his real ass, that's some sex doll.

I have to. That's a sput up. Let me cut off one of his. That's some sex doll. That was the first moaning I ever saw. I don't remember the first movie. I don't know where you go that this happens all the time. I was somewhere in Fort Worth, I think. Somewhere in North Texas. I can't, I wonder what was going through that comedian's mind. Like he's doing his bit, he drops his pants, then he hears like a kid crying. He's screaming. What the fuck? Who's out in the audience?

Also, is that the reaction you want from your ass to your crying oh god can you describe it what was it like I mean he was a he was a heavier guy so it was a big ass or maybe I was really small and just a normal guy and it was you know the other they said like I guess I might ask is so flat and I guess how flat my ass is so flat and I guess

How flat is it real flat real flat Brandon has one of the flat is but yeah, he has negative ass. Yeah Can you have negative it's concave yeah, yeah, I mean like I'm not gonna go get an implant But if someone get a fake ass a bud in plan get just get a fake butt. Yeah, like this guy head like they do like a bud in plan get just get a fake but yeah like this guy head like they do like competitions for free boob jobs I don't know if there's like a competition I can do for free but yeah there are there are buddy implants you can get what are what are competitions for there's a strip club in town that does it yeah there's strip club in town yeah they get competitions and they give away free boob and you don't want to see your ass dude I'd see it with him no no one does maybe

we can start like an indiegogo for it what do you need for acid how much can we look at how much does a bud and plant costs before they look it up I think it's gonna be 80,000 no no no no no no no no no no that's your guess I don't why no what's what are boobin plans 20k four no a good boo it's like eight grand I think for each or no book is like closer to 20 although maybe it's like as it may be for those luxury boob jobs but if you want ones to just get the job done it's probably it's probably for a bit spherical kind of they kind of are on the same plane a little bit I'm gonna say but implants I I'm going to go with 20,000. No. God,

damn it. Don't they have the, it's like the price is right. You've over one dollar machine. You know, they have a computer software, I think, where before you get plastic surgery, they take pictures of you and then they like Photoshop it and show you what you would look like. Do you think they would have my my best software? A Photoshop. But like from the side. No, it's not Photoshop. I think it's something really that cheap. How much is it? $6,500.

That's got to be like. Wait, and you could afford it. Is that per cheek? I mean, you're not going to get one cheek. Is that one of those over the border-ass jobs? I guess they're going to be. Why would they just sell one, but in plan? That doesn't make sense.

It's got to be both. There might be like no no because Attached in the middle well if your ass was injured in an injurious Situation and you only had one cheat if one of your ass cheeks got blown off I mean it happens like I've there's been In New Orleans Let me see I forgot bar was on this podcast so in New Orleans. I heard there was this stripper there with one fake breast and

To my chagrin it was true a friend told me and so she needed just one fake breast because I think she had some sort of Maybe she had a was a second Yeah, yeah, so she need one fake one. That's that's normal, but one asked yeah Yeah, yeah, so she need one fake one. That's that's normal, but one asked you. Yeah, I My insurance company because if I sit on my ass too long on like concrete. It's it hurts It's just squats. No He's but yeah, I didn't have to pay for mine just in pain Gus I'll split it with you each take one I'll split it with you each take one. Hold on.

Bernie Bernie's texting me. Oh, no. He's not on this podcast. He is not. He's not. There's no way he can watch it right now. He's watching this. He's not in this building. We're not live streaming.

How is he texting me about the podcast right now? Did you? Is one of you a narc. Is it specific questions? No. Did you send an email? I am saying the podcast was recording today. No. He knows. He knows. So sorry saying that the podcast was recording today? No.

He knows. He knows. So sorry, I missed the last part of that conversation. What were you saying? Who said so? I think, Brandon, were you getting at the insurance should cover your ass because you use it for work? No, it's just, you know, what if I'm sitting down

for a while and, you know, it hurts? It's like bone. Oh, you know? Just sit on it like one of those donuts. That's what insurance will probably pay for. Yeah, like when you break your tailbone or something, and they give you that like little inflatable donut. They'll get you a like a defective whoopee cushion that doesn't deflate.

Because like here it goes there, just sit on this. If you ever fix it, let us know. We'll get you another one. I love whoopee cushions. I have a skirt that's like pink, suede, and every time I wear air and calls it my woobie cushion skirt, it looks so good. It makes you want to go squeeze it and just you can take a woobie cushion in your butt next time you wear it. And there's like go

out to like a nice restaurant and then just like sit down on it. Farts are one of those things that's like universally funny. It's like probably one of the first things you laugh at as a little kid, and they're like even as an adult or as an old person, you're still are one of those things that's like universally funny. It's like probably one of the first things you laugh at as a little kid and then like even as an adult or as an old person, you're still laughing at Farts. I feel like there's very few things in the world that are universally funny from the time you start life to the time you end life.

Did anyone ever blame Fart on you growing up as a kid? I don't know, I don't think so. No traumatic experience. I have a traumatic experience. And I don't know. I don't think so. No traumatic experience. I have a traumatic experience. And I don't know if I've told this on the podcast before, but we are in a school assembly and it was during a moment of silence. Yes. For like, yeah, I was like, veterans day or something like that. And there was a kid in front of me who was like the most disgusting, annoying kid in school. He rips a huge one and he does

this thing where he turns back at me and goes, ew. And I was like, oh my God, that was you. But obviously, I couldn't say anything because we were in a moment of silence, but then everyone was looking at me. I remember I had a big a bully No, some school and he was a pretty big guy and there wasn't much I could do but There was one point where it was just like me him and someone else and I was let one completely silent and he was like a really big guy and I just remember thinking who are they gonna think did this? It was that was, that was my, uh, I got him. How bad did the man? How bad did they beat you up after that?

Yeah. Um, I don't remember. He just looked off to the side. Yeah. Anyway, what's next? The best place to fart is on a plane because no one knows who did it. That's bullshit. It's also stinky as fuck already on a plane.

Exactly. Just kind of blunt. You know what the opposite to that is Farming on a Greyhound bus because everyone thinks probably them Everyone's just sitting there and farting the whole way And so if they smell another far they're like maybe it was me Scratch their belly a little bit. I've written on a Greyhound twice and it was just it's just a transportation machine for farts that's all it is you buy a ticket to transport your fart from like Houston to Dallas or from Austin to Houston or wherever like well those seats also are probably very absorbent they're extremely absorbent they're more absorbent

than a Bentley or whatever other then simple Catholic I almost took a bus to Mexico like deep in a Mexico like as I was, you know what, it's better than driving. I don't have to do shit. Wait, is that this last time? Yeah. But then I was just like, I know like some people are robbed and murdered on buses. Yeah.

Is that a, that's a thing, right? Well, there's a, there's a, what story? Yeah, I'm like, you were robbed and murdered in their cars too. Did you hear that story, but what happened on a Greyhound bus? I think it was like, I want to say five or six years ago. There was a guy who was beheaded on You guys in New York, no, it was in Canada Canada. Yeah, I think it was like on the West Coast Wow, yeah, there's a guy who I was sitting next to this younger guy who's listening to his headphones and He just started stabbing him and then like the bus stopped and then like everyone like ran off

Obviously, because they were terrified and then apparently like while everyone was off he cut his head off Who cut who said the old though the guy who was stabbing him the older guy cut the younger guy's head off Okay, and like held it up in the window it was not because he heard it up in the window. It's like a horrible Yeah, no, it was like a horror story and I remember this because I used to take Rayhound buses Every two weeks to go back home to Ottawa from Montreal when I was going to school there and my parents are just like Do you want to take the train the next couple weeks? I'd be fine I'm gonna just one incident. Yeah, I had a guy had a bad day I can't believe you guys had that story it was like

You're just crazy. I can't believe you guys hadn't had that story. It was like everywhere for a moment. It was like, it was like, it was like, I just got to go pass this story. It was like the murder in Canada in the past five years. Pretty much. Yeah. Oh, here. I'm going to read this.

When I remind everyone, this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. I used to shave with a razor that was so old it ain't dinner at 4.30. Hey. So like, you answered a rimshot there. I used to shave with a razor that was so old it ain't dinner at 4.30 Hey! So like you answered a rimshot there? Why did I torture myself with a gross old blade for weeks and weeks? Because I didn't want to shell out 20 bucks for packing new ones. DollarShaveClub.com changed all of that.

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join Dollar Shave Club right now by going to dollarshaveclub.com slash Ru's Teeth today. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash Ru's Teeth. Ru's Teeth. No, that's an old ad. Blue it, Barbara. I just like saying that. Shave this morning. You look at it too.

I can remember if it was the razor that I had recently used to groom the lower air. But I was running out of time so I just went with it. Color code man. Beautiful. The lower air. The lower air. You only have one razor. That's true.

I do only have one razor. So the odds are pretty good. Well, if you had Dollar Shave Club, you could have that second razor. Not have to worry about it. Thank you for informing me, Gus. So we should mention that we are nominated for a streaming award for audience choice for show of the year. Mmm. And voting ends on September 17th. It's all voting, so... Jesus! If you guys go to this link that they just showed, streamings.org slash vote.

It's from right to left live not left to right. Jesus. It's backwards. Put on here. Over here. There you go. Okay, you have done this before. I have not.

Over here. Over here. That's the image when you tweet it. We that image is screenshot of Aaron. Yeah, just include hashtag your hashtag tag streamies and the word vote in your tweet and it'll be counted as a vote. Retweets also count. You could do 100 votes per day. You can add hashtag Gus Rules. If you want, yeah, that won't be discounted. They might make it count twice. We'll be discredited. They've been on discounted. It's true. They're making a quick move. They're taste. We want to win. We want to beat those suckers.

Yeah, we don't really let me respect. We're very selective when we promote contests and things like that. So I think this is one we want to definitely try to win. As you can tell by the fact that the banner is still there. It will be there the whole show. Just keep it there. It'll be there until you vote. Oh, it's gone. I feel like I missed it now. It'll be there until you vote. Oh, it's gone. I feel like I miss it now I was getting so used to it

so I got engaged. Yeah, you did look at you sucker. Yeah, congratulations. Thank you. I had no idea that you were planning to do I did not tell anyone. I told Samantha Ireland. Did it tell my parents? You told Samantha, but not your friend Barbara Ireland did it tell my parents She like sent me a snapchat that was funny like on San Francisco and I was like hand fun So I was like I took a picture of the ring and I was like going to Monterey So it sounds so passionate excited about it. I'm really glad Engage what you do right now That's a really nice.

It was nice. It was professional. Thank you. You look very well together in that. That was like the 20th attempt to find a place to propose. The 20th attempt? Yeah, it was hard. Did she know it was coming?

No, she had no idea. So what was her reaction like? Surprised. But happy. I didn't have to talk her into it. Did she punch you? And I was like, no, no. I was like, you want to think about it for a little bit

It's okay, you know you don't have to let me know but um So I was in a city that I've only been to once before and I don't know like anything about it So I was looking into places I could go and I was like you know what we went to this one place It had all these lights. It was really nice. I was like we'll go there Saturday night. We go there, but apparently they only had those lights there because it was Christmas. So it was pretty crappy looking. So I was like, well, there's a place that's like a mile walk away. We'll go there. There's a Ferris wheel and then we get there and there's a concert. So it's closed. And I'm like, fuck! And I was like, well, I guess we can go to her Her house and I can propose on the balcony and I'd be like

So I messaged her parents and I was just like abort abort not proposing Her parents knew our parents knew yeah, you had to ask her dad I asked her dad her dad's like a real like man's man. Did you bond over a glass and we're low? Well, oh no, it's weren't you bond over a glass ember low well no it's weren't you afraid of them for a while I'm not afraid he's like a man's and he's like a real like he has a mustache right he's a very big athletic mech you know Mexican man and with a mustache right he didn't start out great when I got there because okay I I got to the airport the the airline

canceled my ticket and then finally when they got it set up I got to the airport the the airline had canceled my ticket and then finally when they got it set up I got to security and my plane was about to leave 10 minutes and it took all the courage in the world to ask to cut in line at security And people were like really cool and they said yes, and I was like look look my plane is leaving. They're like no No, it's okay. I was like no, I need you to look and verify and understand. I'm not lying So it was a big pain in the ass to get there Finally get to her house and surprise her. She didn't know that I was coming, and she was really happy, she'd been sick.

And I'm just so out of it, I put my bag on the ground. And we're just chilling in her, you know, little bar area, couching everything, and she starts to smoke something burning. And she goes through her dad and says, you know, something's burning, and I'm just in the castle of my ass, not my problem.

She's gonna say, I think I'm worried about that. And then her dad comes in and the smoke was coming from my computer bag. And I had put it on top of a light in the floor, but the light wasn't an LED. So when they picked up my bag, it was on fire. Oh my God, brand. And then her and her friend had to put out the little bag fire. My laptop was in there. And the reason they had in there. And the brain was gotten up. But

yeah, and they had a they had to put it out after I started a fire in their house. And said, it was somebody else's problem. Were you still standing on the floor? I didn't say it was something else. The problem was like, hey, it's not too many cooks in the kitchen. I'm not gonna get involved here. This problem with their house.

I don't wanna make things, I don't wanna mess anything up. But it was my bag. They're laptop deserve to burn. I can see,'s set on fire. And so it's funny because finally, the other moment with her dad was Sunday after I had proposed and he came into the same bar and it was like, you know, me, Paula and her friends

and he went and poured a glass wine for himself and he was gonna pour a glass of wine for me. But he saw that I had a cup of milk and some chocolate chip cookies that I was eating at the time. And he was like, okay, then walked out. You're such a wuss. Does he think you're like 10 years old? Probably.

But he had no problems. He gave me his blessing. I asked him before I proposed because he knows I'm a good guy, and he knows I make his daughter happy. He only thinks you're harmless is what he's like. He's the man's man, and then he's like, well, he's going to be all fine. He's not going to do any harm. He's not going to, yeah, I mean, she'll run the thing. That's what my parents said about you.

That's not true. That's not true. I'm a man's man, and I'll grow mustache soon. That's not true. That's not true. I'm a man's man and I'll grow mustache soon You're obsessed with the mustache because a mustache is like that that is when you've achieved like a really is it like a mustache Independent of other facial hair. Yes. Why don't you why don't you just take one of your eyebrows and like migrate it down to your lip That was uncalled for. Very uncalled for and no it has to be independent of my art. It has to be Tom Sellic-S is what it has to be. I grew a mustache once. I thought I was going to look like Magnum-Bee-I.

Oh, we remember us. Oh, it's like we remember us. It's going to look awesome. And then I can I grew it and I shaved all my official hair off. I just left it. I was like I grew it like I shaved all my official hair off I just left it is like I look absolutely Someone the last person someone sees when they're in a park alone at night But they get shoved into the van you look like Ned Flanders is what you look like Oh, I could see that. Oh, that's not bad like a Mexican Ned Flanders more like the van guy in the park

There is a Mexican Ned Flanders. He was in an episode Which one it was like the Flanders family reunion when like all the Flanders guy in the park. No. There is a Mexican net fly under if he was in an episode. Which one? It was like the Flanders family reunion when like all the Flanders are in the spec here. You should cosplay as that. Or do that as your Halloween costume. I forget what his name was.

Ned Flandero's. Man. You should go right for the Simpson. I can't think of it. Yeah, and they it was also British, Ned Flanders. I don't remember well, so they were few. Good story. I was just delaying because I could see they were bringing up the end of it. Oh, gosh, you can tell they just tinted it down.

Yeah, everything else darker. And they put curly hair on him. That's you Gus. That could be you. You have the picture of me buying a chance Gus mustache. They'll find it. Gus-dash. I'm sure it's on some criminal website somewhere Someone put that. Someone me to compile that in a picture of the guy from From her right? Oh, yeah, it's like the same mustache. Yeah, and I when we did let's play live The guys who developed by-Darb came down and they added it to the game for a special build for Les Play Live, where people could use a Gus Bomb. Have you ever seen that video of these, I think it's like a bunch of college

guys or something? That's it. I'm so bad. You want some ice cream? Come to the van. The van is just right on the street stop swinging get off the sea soft I can't stop looking at it I can either can I oh my god it's terrifying these guys that they filmed a scene from her upside down and it focused in on his forehead and he was doing like all these like forehead movements and it looked like it was smiling upside down You haven't seen this no, what are we talking about walking Phoenix? Yeah, they're probably stoned out of their mind

Because they're all laughing like maniacs, but then you watch it too and you're laughing like a maniac So I don't know does something to you. I haven't watched I really hope that we could find it. You've seen her Yeah, I saw it. Oh, okay. What are we talking about? I don't know. She's... She's talking about us.

They shot a video. It looks like a little smiley face. What? You know who that looks like. There's a... There's a... There's a... There's a critic in town named Oh no should I say it?

It looks like Harry Nobles is who it looks like because of the red beard and just like the the power of skin translucent skin. I can see that. Oh god. Oh man that's pretty good. Yeah. Would you like someone's like good. Man, that's pretty good. Yeah. Would you, if someone was like for $5,000, would you get like a, what's this, co-tar?

What was the guy from Total Recall? You get like a little guy, a co-to, yeah, and planted in your stomach for like a few months. Like he just needs a place to stay. So, like, the one he gets in your body. He's given Airbnb or something. Why do you got to implant him? Oh, five for five grand. No, five grand.

No, what? Five grand? Yeah. For several months of someone living in me. Wow. On your stomach. Yeah. On your chest.

Yeah. We're not talking about pregnancy. Idiot. We're talking about like a sentient being selfish, Barbara. That's like half of a button plant. It could like pay for half of of your butt more than half of a bud. Yeah, that's like, what do we say the cost was only 6500? Yeah. God, Gus, you're almost there. Me? You're the one who wants it. Oh, we both need it.

You both need it. I'm just bringing it up because I don't want to, it's my subtle way of telling you. There's got to be different softness of those implants. I imagine. You know, and different sizes. Yeah, different. Well, yeah, different sizes. But like a see-coup. I mean, you get baseball player, but.

Oh, yeah. But that's like that's sturdy, but that's like, you know what I'm saying? All right. baseball player. I almost kind of have a baseball player, but more have like a, I don't know what I have. It's like a baseball player, but I must kind of have a baseball player, but more have like a I don't know what I have Is it I hate baseball so you have a nicer but than any girl I know So take that for what I'll take it. It's his butt nicer than Christopher Marises

Christopher says have a nice Chris Marissa's good, but he is like more compact though. He's his feminine and it's yeah, it's probably hair hairless no Chris's ass is he got an apple bar is it yeah it's extremely hairy I mean it's it's so because you know you know someone long I've seen like for instance my buddy Zach and Brad and I've seen them naked so many times I've seen Chris's ass many times and it's awful how women women are attracted to it, I have no idea. But it's like- It's the only one of your best friends that are the best. Here's, yeah, well here's what it is. It's like if you went to the barber shop and you collected all of those little clippings

on the ground and then you put super glue over someone's ass and then you sprinkled all of it from above, that's his ass. You have to dig to find his ass. Not that I know that. You do, you just sit there. No, that's so weird though because the rest of him know that. You do. No, you just said it. That's so weird though, because the rest of him is so hairless. He has like one chest hair.

I guess it all fell onto his ass. I don't know. Like as he's sitting, it's all just collecting down there. The gravity's pulling it down. He has hairy legs though. So that makes sense. The christamer says very hairy legs. It's like his bottom half is wookie.

Yeah. It's like he like, he developed like two different body types in one it's like two mismatched parts yeah are we talking about christameris as he's got a good but i want to know if yours is better but apparently it's hairy i just i just i don't know hairs this also could be propagandics he wants his butt to be declared better yeah i am i am spreading a smear campaign don't say spreading and ask don't use those words altogether it's a bad spreading that a smear campaign. Don't say spreading a smear with ass. Don't use those words altogether. It's a bad.

Spreading that ass smear campaign. Smear campaign. Someone saved me, please. A little of God. So we were just super low energy. I'm just letting him find himself. I'm tired from that. Yeah, we just recorded a crazy let's play.

Probably the time this podcast comes out a little of aired we recorded a let's play in capsule force and I took a little snapchat of it it was did you did you send it out yeah did you don't know what you're playing though I just like you know it's 10 seconds from it so yeah we have a snapchat account now it's rooster snaps rooster snaps and Yeah, we at the end of it people were Well, I can say it because the puck it'll be up and out blame was throwing chairs like in the room It was so passionate. He also the brand new computers in there

He also jumped into me. Yeah, unknowingly because you guys were all stationed behind two computers But so you're all on the same side and I stood behind you guys were all stationed behind two computers, but so you're all on the same side. And I stood behind you guys to watch for a few minutes. And then I guess something really exciting was happening and being jumped up and like through his chair, started bouncing up and down and like, threw himself into the back wall where I was standing

with a cup of coffee and it's completely covered myself. What games made you the angriest in your life? capsule force. Really? That much. You guys were yelling so loud I was trying to have a meeting with my reduction coordinator and she was like trying to tell me something I was like what? And she's like listen we need to do this and I was like I can't hear and you guys like, ah, the chairs are being thrown and stuff like that. I was like that is this is unprofessional. It was rowdy. It was rowdy. Like, you already have miles in blame who probably are like two of the lowest people already. Yeah. What's like the radius thing you've ever done? Like,

have you broken anything or like say something? I don't understand people who get angry and break stuff. Because like in the end, it's like, you're just breaking your own stuff. Well, there's a count like, there are times where I've like slammed my controller on the table. Would you consider it's not like so much I want to break it? It's just like I have to I wouldn't do that. Like I feel like I'd break my table like no matter how mad I get. It's a rat, but that's so rational. Like you've never gotten so angry.

I get angry. But you still stop thinking like, you know, I get really angry. I have an anger problem. No, no, no, I just can't see myself like an internal anger problem. Yeah, and an external Barbara salty today. Yeah, no, no, like I said, I just can't see myself doing that. I mean, I've seen Bernie put holes in desks before and break his Yeah, Bernie's violent. Yeah, really violent Yeah, something is violent. Really violent.

You have something to tell us? No, I have a... Bernie is always just a teddy bear. He once, years ago, broke an original Xbox controller with his bare hands. Cause he like, just by like, the local bread. Yeah, the giant with the Duke.

He just like, like, torqued it and it just like snapped. But that was working like right during, that was machinima. Yeah, but he was still that angry. That's difficult. I understand how you could get that frustrated though while you're doing machinima because you'd be setting up a shot for hours

and then one little thing fucks up and it's like he's been another couple hours resetting it. And I understand how that could be really good. It was one of those situations. Especially since it was like three of you guys total. And here it's like a team of 10 people doing machinima. I heard so Blaine moved in underneath me directly underneath me and I heard him moving in a few days ago and I heard him screaming and complaining like three in the morning trying to

move a couch. You're just like, oh, the fuck are you know because it was it's a huge couch. I've seen it but like he got it wedged in between the door It's like three in the morning and at first when I was sleeping and so I live You know on the floor above him directly above him and he I heard this scraping going on I kind of woke up and I was like what is that noise? scraping and it's just noise was scraping and it's just and then oh, he was like, man, some neighbors is fucking going crazy.

And then the next day, Blaine comes in here all tired. And I'm like, what was your problem? He's like, moving in yesterday and the couch got stuck in the the doorway and John Reissinger was laughing at me and whoa, I was like, oh, that's what that noise was. But they were so, you're so pissed off. That's also really good delay and impression. Yeah, so I was like oh that's what that noise was but they were so you're so pissed Oh really good lane impression. Yeah, so I was moving in and He's so excited to mess with you and I just imagine you were just not gonna give a shit

I'm not gonna plus like I'm gonna Also mine was there to his brother so I know Lynn lives on the floor below Blaine like he's sandwiched in between us. Is a marquee sandwich? Yeah, it's a marquee sandwich if he tries anything He is his world is done. It's erased. Can your brother fart under a door, Phil? Absolutely. You're talking about targeted flatulence,

is what that's called. Targeted flatulence. He just right under the door. Well, I need to find a new apartment. You want me to take one of the sides? Yeah. You just get the corn, so just box them in. No, it's great because my brother can, he got a lock picking set and he can get into any doors

He's gotten in my apartment door many times So we'll just break in to Blaine's apartment and do whatever the hell we want then get out. That's fine I think Blaine knows it's gonna happen anyway, so yeah, it's wait looking me like I'm crazy Anyway, yeah, we're gonna break into Blaine's apartment probably and fuck up some shit But he's he deserves it. Yeah, right? No, I think he does. I think he knew what was coming to him He knew you live there. Yeah, he was your territory. He's encroaching on you. So are you happy to be living away from your haunted neighbor? That was you whatever you heard was not right that was not the the screenings and the whalings of a woman that I had heard through the walls.

You heard someone do it like cooking something. No, I heard a woman screaming and it was late. It was like two in the morning, but it was coming from above you, not next to me. No, no, no, no. It's a ghost and she lived to the side of me and she was always yelling about insurance and you didn't say anything about insurance.

The friend here really is saying. I mean, I couldn't hear what she was saying i heard her yelling on the phone i'm getting pretty turned on on the way that did you ever see the the ghost in the congress office i heard people talk about it and i saw that so once that goes to god now in the back room but they demolished that no no no now it's now it has a good home it's going to be in a hotel

here goes that's where you want to be in a hotel i mean it's just probably floating that right what happens to a ghost whenever it's Our ghosts tied to like a physical place. I think so If not you were ghost where do you think you would haunt beetle juice rules? If I was a ghost where would I haunt? Yeah, the girls locker room Oh, yeah, haunt the girls toilet right under the bowl Haunt the girls toilet right under the bowl Learning a lot of weird things about you. Hey, so I've only seen girls locker rooms in the movies Porkeys I'm thinking of porkeys. Yes, yeah, right porkeys

Well, I'm worried though that it's not really as Sexy as it seems in movies. It's actually kind of you think you think they would have lied in a movie i'm saying do you think you would really want to do that do you think it would break the illusion and you're absolutely breaking you kind of like part of you would die inside that's why i was a jokie answer what i think girls are gross i was just about to say that girls are grosser than guys the girls are dirty guys are messy. No, no, sorry, it's the other way around. Girls are messy guys are good. Right. But when it comes to bathrooms and places like that, girls are fucking gross. Because it's not just shit and piss that could be left in girls' bathrooms. Jesus Barbara.

That you discover along the way. Barbara's on fire. Yeah. Along the way lovers on fire. Yeah I'm just pissed off having to be a girl and go in public bathrooms and just like can't use that one Can't use that one what the girls are shit and toilets and not flush it a lot of the time Minnes bathrooms do that too Always do that guys bad. Why don't we have couches? I'm very upset about this. Yeah, like every woman's bathroom on earth as a couch Why don't we have go I wear the no couches and guys I mean there's couches and girls bathrooms in like really fancy places like fancy hotels or

Clubs and you're saying that because you don't want me to go in the girls bathroom here at the office I bet there's a nice couch That's true though what you're saying Gus about guys bathroom sometimes just a hole in the ground Yeah, it's not even like anything like women at least have a place to leave their shit in guys sometimes like it's just a trough trough the worst and if you're lucky there's ice in there yeah if you're lucky wait some some men's bathrooms don't have a toilet to actually shit in well like some some will do this thing where there's only one toilet and everything else is troughs and there's no stall door and if there's a guy in there who's using it for a while

you're fucked yeah yeah and there like there's no doors like I've told the story before the podcast were the high school I went to there were no stall doors at all because you do drugs and there's no one's gonna watch you it's like prison the high school I went to was basically prison I think that's a really good comparison yeah how many fights you have? Probably I did not get an any fight. No, no, no at your school. We're like one a week. One a week. Yeah. We're kind of pansy. I shit is that. We're like 10 a day. I'm not kidding. It was like if fights were a thing, man, like people would cut their meal cards into knives.

Jesus. And like, girls would grow their fingernails out and a whole bunch of the middle of the fingernails. That way it had two points on each nail that they could like scoop flesh out of each other. Ugh. I once was standing next to a girl when a fight happened on her, it's the best way to say it,

someone ran up behind her, shoved her to the ground and then five girls proceeded to step on her face for five minutes. Like she had like shoe marks all over her face. How are you not tougher? I think I brought this up. I was just in the library. I boyed it all. That's just in a ball. God. Yeah, it was it was bad. There was like there was a shooting in my school. Yeah, we know that. The person who brought the gun and shot didn't even get suspended. It was like there was there was a shooting in my school. Yeah, we know that the person who brought the gun and shot didn't even get suspended It was like oh you shouldn't be bringing guns to school. We're gonna take that. They kill anyone. No, no, no

They missed Dwight Hauer they didn't get expelled. No, they were they were in school the next day What I told you I went to school in a prison I told you I went to school in a prison. I just go. Did the school take his gun and have to have it come in her gun. Oh shit. Oh shit. It's like a big caliber desert eagle and she just puts it in her.

Do I howard the basketball player for the Houston Rockets. He brought a gun like on his carry on item and he got they found it in the airport and there was like uh... we were gonna take that and they let him get on the plane no charges uh... gun only that's a pretty common thing with like celebrities and stuff they'll bring like big knives and guns and forget that they have i think the for what did that happen like two days ago effective september first guns are now legally carry you can now legally carry guns in airports in Texas

What what you have a chl? Yeah, you can't bring a nail clipper take it on to the plane But you can legally carry the gun in the airport which is probably why nothing happened to him Huh, so he just had to leave it they found a security and he probably said so like if you brought your gun to the airport You'd have to leave it at the airport you can't take it with you correct or you'd have to stay on the other on this side of security. Like you couldn't pass through. I think though, if so, I have a CHL. I think you can check your gun in a back in your checked luggage. Yeah. And you have to make sure that they know about it and they tag it and all that stuff. Mm-hmm. For when you really need to take your gun places. Well, someone sneaks down in the luggage. No, it's a sneak down in the luggage. No, it takes it. Sneaking down

in a luggage, man. I don't think you can really get to the check baggage after you're boarded on the plane. You know, it's like cut through the cabin. If you're in executive decision. That's true. That's a good point. But when you talk about this, people lie in movies. We just said that. Right. Oh, no. This was a S Segal movie. They take things pretty That was not a Segal movie. He's gone in the Five minutes. Yeah, that angered my dad so much and I know we're talking about an old movie But like my dad's such a big Steve Segal fan. He's like, yes, I'm gonna go see this executive decision movie And then he sees it not five minutes in dead like he just gets Segal is all over the trailers. Yeah, and then the poster isn't he? Yeah, it's literally like, it's all over the trailers. Yeah. And then, you know, the poster, isn't it?

Yeah, it's on the poster. Yeah. It's literally like the 20 year old scene of the movie. And then Kurt Russell is the hero of the recipe. Yeah, there's no cigar. And you don't believe that he's dead. Like, you see, he's flying through the sky. You're like, how's the goll gonna survive?

That's so weird that you say that, because my dad was like, he's probably gonna land on a boat. My dad kept saying he's coming back. He'll show back up on the plane. It was all a daddy. It was at 40,000 feet. But he flew out. He had no parachute.

He's like, no, it's a go. It's a go. It's a clean disintegrated around. I know. God, he has great movies. Oh, you see dark territory. I want to talk about dark territory. Let me read this.

And then let's talk about dark territory. I've got something to say about that When I'm in everyone this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by FanDuel Let's talk about fantasy football for a minute FanDuel week one games are almost here first game out of the gate. So Patriots versus the Steelers Apparently, yeah, I just got more interesting Tom Brady's back in action. This isn't sports ball But I mean that was all over the news today So you know he's gonna have a big game. I want to more interesting. Tom Brady's back in action. This isn't sports ball, but I mean that was all over the news today So you know he's gonna have a big game. I want to talk about the Tom Brady thing too before you guys know sports Okay, well, we'll talk about this Here's why you need to get on family. It's the leader in one week fantasy football with more winners and payouts at any other site

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Sign up today. It's actually a really, really easy to use site. And I think right now they're doing NFL and MLB and I mean normally fantasy football But we're actually gonna do a draft for our own fantasy football here in the studio like you stuck playing the whole season Whether or not you like your team Fandall is just like every week every game. You can do something different I know how NHL It's not listed. Is NHL going on right now?

I don't know if they do that. I just, I'm not, I'm not logging in. I logged in. I was looking through the site earlier and they're doing NFL MLB and I think they do CFL as well, oddly enough. Oh, God. Yeah. I know you have something you want to say, but like, how well do you think I could do in a fantasy football league knowing nothing about football?

You might win. You really are. No, you let it auto draft for you. You might win. Like, because I mean, assuming I know nothing, I'm not going to do it. I'm going to do it don't know. And you let it auto-draft for you. You might win. Like, because I mean, assuming I know nothing, which I do not know anything.

If you go simply by like most systems have like rankings. Yeah. If you go most, if you go just by whoever's like worth the most or whoever has the most points, you probably do okay. Really? I mean. It's interesting to me, like I'm not anti-sports or anything, I just don't follow football.

It's like, I always wondered if I actually played fantasy football if I could do very well. Normally, I mean, there's some people get really get into it and you can find like high value players. Like players you pay less for, who might give you a better return. So like, go all out on your player. Exactly.

And, you know, people who really get that nitty gritty are normally really good at it. But if you play like just simply based on like player exactly and you know people who really get that nitty-gritty are normally really good at it but if you play like just simply based on like player values probably do all right I think anyway maybe I'll take a look and you'll piss a bunch of people off who take it way too seriously yeah we're doing our our fantasy football draft here pretty soon our sports ball for sports ball yep sports ball that's an awesome show by the way their set is so good everything about that show is good I'm jealous of that set for sports ball. For sports balls. Yeah, sports ball. That's an awesome show, by the way. Their set is so good.

It's everything about that show is good. I'm jealous of that set. Yeah, I saw a comment that was. Yeah, what is this piece of crap? I like the set. Yeah, it's all right. We're going to burn this set. I want a new set by the end of the year.

I want a new couch. Can I get a new set? No, no, the couch is so big. We're going to build a new set around that couch. Neh. We're going to extend that couch. And I mean, the couch might go missing at some point when you're rebuilding Missing go on fire. Oh, yeah, this is a nice catch. We didn't talk about dark Brandon put it on a light. Oh, I thought you want to talk about Tom Brady

Oh, we do want I do want to talk about Tom Brady. Okay. We'll get to Tom Brady after dark To yeah, I assume you guys saw you saw you've seen undersea. Yeah, yeah, okay, no awful movie Yeah, they decided to make a sequel so under siege takes place on a boat Under siege to takes place on a train. Yeah, it's even sigalls the the cook on the train Casey Rybacker Whatever his name is my favorite thing about dark territory is like at the end like the climactic battle between Steven Seagull and the bad guy who I remember is you can tell they're like wrapping the speed on the footage Oh yeah. Steven Seagull is like, you know, doing like a slow move and he's like, there's a lot of slapping too. They slap each other a lot. Yeah.

Like actually slapping. Not yeah, and they've got weapons and stuff, but Steven Seagull is just slapping the guy's face and it's like, what is, what are we watching here? And then they're doing the speed ramp so it looks like You know, and it looks so silly It's just what you're sitting from 94. No, 97 I think 96 or 97 Like such lazy writers. They're like well, what if he gets kicked off the train? Oh, that's good That's good. That's good. How's he gonna get back though? It's like all right Well, he finds a pickup truck and there are two wires.

He hits the wires together and it starts the truck and he takes off. It's like, at what point do you think that makes any kind of sense? Or do you think like, fuck the movies? This movie, like they understand the movies a joke anyway, so they don't fucking get it. Is Steven Seagull still practicing law enforcement somewhere?

I think so, in Florida. I thought it was Louisiana last time. So was it? Or Arizona? Did you see that thing where he was, you know, the Soviet Union, not the Soviet Union, Russia. And they're like 70th anniversary celebration of the end of World War II.

And like no world leader really showed up. It was just basically the bad way of Putin and the Russian army doing marching and formations and everything. And fucking Steven Segal was there in the crowd. Oh, that's right. He met Vlad, Vladimir, right? So yeah, he said he was a really like good guy or whatever he said that you don't say about Vladimir Putin.

It's weird to find the celebrities who endorse Yeah, on popular world leaders like in North Korea like North Korea how that fucking started I know I was like you guys don't understand he's he's a really great guy Did you see that movie the interview? Yeah, and it was so bad. I like I don't understand like It seemed like it would be a good movie and everyone was talking about how good it was And I saw it was like what am I missing do you like those guys like I do I do like James Franco and Seth Rogan I think it's like you get exactly what you expect James Franco Seemed like he did not have any lines written in that movie. They just put him on the set and they're like act

That's fair Because every line that came out of his mouth is just like how did someone actually work it is what it was uh... i was going to go back to the so someone work current with uh... slivers endorsing weird people were what was it uh... whole kogan wanted to run as trump's running mate what did did did i read that correctly i think whole cogan said i would be his

vice president i think it's two thousand fifteen i think we're ready for a president who's at a sex tape yeah i'm okay with whole cogan he would be vice president and this is what was work Trump was taken out then we would have a president who had had a sex tape and all men and seen that sex tape and we i should probably watch it later i

have also i imagine it's awful because whole cogan is so one way to find out air i might phone on me to look it up but i it's just got to look like a leather cow the air in front here having hey guys i found it for you maybe i'll just look ahead and now. What, like, can you imagine Hulk Hogan, like, oh man. Yeah, it would look like a leather couch.

A leather couch having sex. Now I want to watch it. Yeah, now I want to. Hulk Hogan. Why must you make fun of me? I have a thing for leather couch. So, under siege two was 95. So, you were supposed to wear it.

So, wall somewhere at some moment, too. It made a $50 million domestically. That's not good. It's two was 95. 95. So we'll somewhere at some moment. It made a $50 million domestically. That's not good. It was good in 95. No, but that movie had to cost like $60 million or something. Oh, man. Oh my god, it realizes that big. Yeah, it seems a little small.

It's too small. Now Putin is, I think he's what, five, seven, five, eight. Maybe something like that. There's no way that Steven Seagull's hair is dyed at all in that photo. It looks like we're in Dracula or something. He's no way that Steven Seagal's hair is dyed at all in that photo. It looks like putting Dracula or something. What's up with that hair line? Can we talk about that? Wait, time for the widow's beat. Look at that. He's got a V on his fucking forehead. I think that may be plugs. I don't know. I'm not sure, but man. And then cut back to Aaron. It's just like printer ink.

It's like stained on his head. It's like he took like that kiwi shoe polish with a brush and just like fucking went back through it. When is Paul McCartney going to stop dying his hair and just let it go completely silver? Like you ever seen Paul McCartney these days with his brown hair, his brown red hair? I think that's a wig. No, it's not. Don't tell me that. I think it's red hair. I think that's a wig. No, it's not. Don't tell me that. I think it's a wig.

Tell me it's died. Don't tell me it's a wig. I think it's a wig. Really? It looks so like, I don't know, like, bouncy and like up. I don't think there's any way to do that. It looks voluminous. I'll give you that voluminous. Usually you lose some volumity. Volumosity. Voluminity.

Voluminity. Yeah, you do. Volume with age, I think I think right yeah, that's why I don't that's why I don't buy it You're still very voluminous. Yeah, and I'm an old fucker. Yeah, you're that's not true Hi, Leo. What are you 50? 45 okay Really? I know I'm surprised Really? I'm surprised. I'm surprised.

I was like, I didn't think you were 45. Sit here and drink. Yeah, you're gonna shut off. We're doing a shit for 12 years. Old Mancerola. So we were at PAX, too, this past. It's getting off my lawn. Do we want to talk about PAX, did I?

Yeah, I do. Good. I do, too, Gus. PAX was fun. I want to talk about one thing in particular, about PAX. Well, yes, I do. You and I both got to do something really cool. We both got to see the HTC Vive, which is like the Val VR demo. It was like, I've been a huge skeptic when it comes to VR. I talked about this on the patch this week, which you can watch at recie.com.

And so I talked about it quite a bit. So I don't want to get into super deep detail about it, but it worked. Yeah. It looked good. I feel like a lot of the other VR stuff I've used is like stuttery or you see the pixels, or it just looks bad. This was immersive.

It was unreal. What was the environment? They put you through multiple ones. So the first one I did, you're on a sunken ship underwater and like you could look around and like walk around the ship and like look at everything and look over the ship like deeper into the ocean. And it's like you know you're in a room but still like when you're getting to the edge of the ship you still like are scared to look over. The weirdest part for me was there's another part there's

another demo where you are supposed to help airplane flat. You like click on them and then like you design flight plans in the air and then you like take them down to the runway. Guess which one got this favorite one. That is my favorite. But as I was playing the game like the airport's on an island in the middle of the ocean. You're like walking around like clicking on these planes.

Subconsciously I wasn't wanting to bump into the island. Like so I was like I'm having trouble reaching some of these planes and I realized oh this is all fake I can be walking the guy even telling me the guy running the demo for me He's like you go walk through the island if you want and I'm like, oh, okay walk through it So what you're like hovering it's like it's like about waste level. Yeah, so it's like imagine if you're just like a detached camera Do a video is there a video? I don't know there's any video of it. How many people like how sophisticated was it set up? Because this was the the it was a closed demo. So it's the one person doing the demo, one person presenting the demo from their end and the one person with the goggles on. Yeah, it was like a room

probably about like 15 by 15. I said it was yeah, I was roughly the size of the patch set is what I said. Yeah, which is oh, sorry, and then you have like your goggles on headphones And then these two controllers too, and that was actually the coolest part of the demo Yeah, was they put the headset on you they put the earphones on you and there Well, in my case, they said look around. What do you see? I was like, I don't know. I'm in a white room and they said Hold on and they're like all of a sudden I could see like two controllers And she's like what do you see? Yeah, I see like two controllers Okay, go ahead and reach out and grab a so I reached out and grab them She said you just grabbed something in the real world that you've never seen like you're only

Frame of reference for it is in the vert is in virtual reality and I was like holy fuck. She's right I knew exactly where they were yeah, and I reached out and just grabbed them I mean like you can interpret three-dimensional space within a virtual reality. Right, I don't even know what they looked like. Yeah. Because in every demo, they recontextualized and were different. Because you put on the goggles before they give you those controllers. So you don't know what they look like. I've heard that they've done demos with multiple people with the headsets on.

And they've thrown one controller between them and like they can catch it in mid air. It's that precise. I think my favorite demo though was the painting one. That's pretty cool. There's one where you get like you have your two controllers and you could select colors on one like a palette and then you dip your paintbrush from your other controller into it and you could paint but it's 3D. So if you paint like a happy face you could walk through it and see on the other side of where you painted. So I was just doing this like rainbow brush and going all around myself

and the guy doing the demo he's like, yeah, go crazy. Go crazy. It's a Bob Ross. I got a rainbow all around you. And I'm like, OK, make one of those happy little clouds to put it right at the top. Apparently, I think it was Matt Peaker's school, or maybe Joel Rubin's still Rubin painted a naked woman

in his demo. And he depends on him around her. Something I don't think I could ever do in a 3D environment. I don't think ever in my life is play one of the horror games. Oh god. I don't think I could ever actually do that. Exactly. Like PT normally.

Yeah, I think it would mess me up so much psychologically, because I'm already way out there. But if I have just the demos I've seen, it'll be like a flashing light in a hallway, like a, like a flickering light and then you'll see something a figure at the far end of the hallway and then the light will flash off and then flash on again and then the figures a little closer and then flash on again and then figures really close and then it flashes up and then it's right in your face screening. I think that would just be over. That doesn't sound fun to me. It just sounds like, you know, you're just really adrenaline and like the the fright. Right. Because like the thing about playing games stuff is just kind of all right. But if you're in it, really, oh, I can't look away. Close your eyes. I guess you close your eyes, but you're just it's so immersive. It's tricked your brain. Yeah, and this is any horror does. But and sometimes they do other things to like the game of thrones simulation, they shot air at you too. Right.

So they create textural. Yeah, you're like ghosts coming at you and you like feel the air. You just like shit yourself like someone's gonna die. No, I mean, that's being serious about it. I think that could really cause severe panic attacks or anxiety attacks or a hard attack. I don't know I just it's so overwhelming when in any kind of when your nightmares can become real like that When is that ever existed in history like besides real war and stuff like it's like wow This is as real as it can possibly get without actually being at a ghost. That's just I don't think humans can really deal with that The really well the funhouse guy has got to like try out the. I think a little more than we did because I actually went to

Valve and did that stuff. But Matt Peek was telling me that he was doing the simulation where he does. You get him in a room alone without other people. But he said that there was a simulation where the floor opened up in front of him. And he said that he knew he was just, if he just stepped forward, nothing would happen, but his brain was telling him not to. So he like couldn't walk forward without like putting his foot out and like tapping on the ground like ahead of him.

It's just, it's crazy how like immersive it is. Could you, could you imagine, I don't know how detailed your dreams are, but if you had your worst nightmare in the world and you knew every single detail, paying to have somebody program it and create it. Nope. Yeah. What's your biggest nightmare? I'm not going to say. Well, you think someone's out there going to start making some relations against me somehow.

So you're saying if someone programmed me running out of beer and like they put it into a machine. Oh my god. Yeah, that would be I don't know how to be able to code again hard attack. We do. Okay. It's what would happen. You'll get through it. Never. So are they gonna sell those for like consumers? Yeah. Well, I think it's coming out sometime. I think they said they're coming out by the end of the year but I think realistically it would be like next year. I mean what's the application? Because I remember doing the Oculus Rift. Like there's like 30 dudes who were there setting it up and making sure it's working right. Like I can't imagine taking anything like that home and just plugging in.

Well it's not consumer level yet. This is still demos. There's still technical demos. It's not like packaged and ready for an end user yet. I'm just saying like how possible it is to even get it to that point. I mean, very possible, right? Is that coming up like now? I think every VR headsets coming out early next year, the Oculus, the Vive, the Sony Morpheus, I mean, they all, I think have it figured out. What are they, they are?

What are they doing? Like, what's, what's the application? I mean, the, the one I I tried out that could be consumer easily You just need someone to like I think effect for you the the airplane demo. I think that's gonna be a full game Okay, so I'm gonna be excited. Yeah, I'm excited about that Crash simulator 2016 you're just sitting in a passenger seat the I want that I can we recreate

Famous air disasters passenger seat in the air. I want that. I want that. I can we recreate famous air disasters. Yeah, I want this. And you know, you know, every part of it, like the one engine shuts down, you look at the window, you're like, this is going to get all the other passengers are scared. You're like, I can't wait till it flips like that. That's what I want to see. Oh, oh, yes. And if you could fly the plane while the disasters are happening stand up You like let me try and you actually cause more of the like I really this took too long originally I'm really knows We should be paid to be like consultants like on real planes when stuff happens because we've seen the shit

Could you imagine a rope? Okay, some of the instances of rogue pilots, you know where they lock the doors and stuff If in the the 3d simulator you go up and you're like I'll go up and you knock on the door and he lets you in and you just hang out With them while he's being a rogue pilot so you can see from the other side of the door It's gonna be weird. All right That's that's the line. You've gone too far. I saw Gus's eyes and he's like, I'm gonna ask the developer to do that. That's so awesome. I love it. I want to make that game. It's a relationship. I also want to mention that I started reading the Martian

due to your recommendation. Great, great book. It is so good. I'm almost done. I've never seen Barbara read before and like she's really eating up this book. Like, Barbara read before and like she's really eating up this book like What two or three pages a day I think and it's I mean it's insane And she barely asked me like what words are like which words are which yeah, like it's really She was left right and I mean that's the big thing what she's right to laugh You were salty you deserve it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know.

But it's, I mean, I can, it's a good book. You're almost through it and you started it in a couple days. Well, you were asking me something and I was like, oh, just after I finished the chapter and you're like, I said, what? I said, what? I need an answer now.

Put down that book. There's very few books I get into. I think the audio book version for that is like 10 and a half hours long. Okay. Yeah, so it's, I mean, it mean, it's not like a super fast read, but I mean, it's... No, I mean, I started reading on the plane on the way home from Seattle,

which is a four hour flight, and I finished half of it. Yeah. So, I was really into it. Yeah, I want to read it next. You will? I'll lend it to you. I never get it back. Just like the book you lent me a while ago.

What did I lend you, fear and loathing in Las Vegas? Typical book. It's gonna take me a while ago. What did I, oh I let you fear in love thing in Las Vegas. Typical book. Yeah that book is so quick to read. Literally you can read that in like three hours. Chef has a DVD that I lent him 11 years ago. It's our Kelly's trapped in the closet. Oh that's such an amazing. I know I haven't seen it in 11 years. Because someone kept my fucking

duty. That's 11 years old. Something like that. I try to show people maybe 10, but I think it's like 11 years old. People don't understand how brilliant that thing is. Fucking amazing. It's so awesome. What is this? You Get it back. It's amazing. I have it. I have this simple and Oli DVD held hostage until For the trade until I get my R Kelly trapped in the closet. You said civil civil and Oli. Oh, you're not no civil and Oli I thought you don't know the show civil Anybody civil and Oli? No, I don't know that is all about all the current programming civil under siege to Civil and it was a sock puppet show. It's right up your earlier. What's next? Airbud and whatever Pauli Shore movie was hot

man. Oh Airbud lost a leg. What? He's probably already. He's also probably dead. Probably. Definitely dead. Then we came out in what? Ninety four. They went through like three airbuds. Then they just kept dying. That's what. That's what happens to dogs. Dogs die. Thank you for bringing that's what I have. So that's what happens to dogs. The dogs die.

Thank you for bringing that up. No, Aaron. I think I bring that up every time I come on. Now he's an air dud. Boom. All right. I was going to show me like three minutes to try to say. I'm trying to.

This is just. Oh, this is simple and all. It's just like a TV show with two sock puppets. Yeah, that one the black one looks like the dragon from how to train your dragon Oh my god, it totally does I think that's where they guys totally stole it It's stolen do you like Tokyo the Tokyo Olympics had to change their logo because they realized that the guy Up it might have just completely ripped it off from some like obscure German graphic designer. It's extremely similar There are like he just basically like redoubled one of the graphics and like he kind of rearranged some of the elements Have you not heard about this? Yeah, I think like he did pull it up and find it the

Tokyo Lifting's plagiarism. I don't think he's admitted that but he did acknowledge that he has like lifted's other stuff that he's done from other people so he's like not this one but i have kind of like stolen some stuff before allegedly i don't want to get sued yeah i mean that's pretty common in design or art and stuff like that but not like blighten just copying you know i mean it it happens It's just the people who lose are the ones who get caught.

You know, it happens so often. But that's such a big scale thing, such a large thing. We saw so much Ruby stuff ripped off at Supernova when we were there. We walked around the vendor floor for a little bit and I counted at least eight booths that had Ruby stuff they were selling. Was Matt there?

No. I saw when we were at PAX, you know, we were signing someone brought by like some Ruby fan art that they had purchased. I think at like San Diego Comic Con or something. And of course, I'm like, you know, it's not cool that someone's selling it. It's like it's cool that you like the show.

But it was actually a really cool like concept. And I was like, so Emily was there who runs the store. So I was like, can I borrow this? I took it from the person. I was like, I showed it to Emily. I was like, we should be making this. This is actually a really cool idea. And then I took it back to the airtime.

I mean, the fan art is amazing. And it's really cool that people make it. But yeah, it's always that weird line of, well, they're selling this and making money off of our IP. And it's just like, kind of, square. I still think I have the Iraqi DVD of seasons one through 10 of red versus blue One through 10 was it it was like one through six one through six. Do you tell me that on one of our discs? I think it's season one. There's something that's built wrong, but on the pirated version they spelled it right?

Yeah, on the original DVD. There's a typo, but there's a pirated bootleg version basically that six star typo What's awfully nice of them? Well, they put like all the movies on one disc and like the big thing at the front was like new DVD technology that now you could fit Nine movies on one DVD super high resolution. Yeah, yeah, it was it was not the artwork was awesome Yeah Yeah, it was it was not your work was awesome. Yeah Yeah, I don't even know what that was from I'm sure they just did a Google search for red versus blue and found random things Yeah, I think it was like it was purchasing like in a like a market in Iraq, right?

so A US soldier who was deployed over there and saw the bootleg DVD. So he bought it and sent it to us and It was it was cool. It was, it was, it was it's easy. I can't imagine like that market somewhere in Iraq where that guy's like, yes, we're gonna see. In Iran, we used to rent, I mean, I only went there twice, but in order to rent a movie, we went to a laundry mat. And then they had movies that were like in the bottom

of like laundry baskets that you would rent and then take home and like a bag or I don't know My cousin I'm sure yeah, it's awesome. I thought you were gonna say there was like a wall that slid back And then it was like this blockbuster inside of it like an actual blockbuster in Iran like that's the last Blast one and there's one in Monterey Mexico really? Blockbuster yeah, yeah, I want to go take pictures. Is that it? Yeah. Oh, oh, wow. Well, that's yeah. It's also a terrible logo for the Tokyo Olympics. I mean, this is real talk here. What does that even like? What did they intend for that to be?

I think they incorporated like the red rising sun into like a tee for Tokyo. And then like it maybe makes an oh and there's probably every letter of Tokyo in there so I've ever noticed that about the Toyota logo yeah that's the deal with the Toyota logo is it summer or winter coming up in 2020 2020 that'll be summer Olympics right because summer Olympics are gonna be next year 2016 right yes yes 2020 or next year's London Olympics no was that like a very happened yeah that already happened that was like 2012 what year is it might have been earlier than that was it oh fuck I don't know it's like winter was it every two years yeah two years in Olympic and then four years for

everyone yes because the Olympics used to be every four years they would do summer and winter, and then they'd be broken up. So back in my day, we had all our Olympics in the one year. Because the first time I thought that was like, supposed to be like a little slope, like a ski slope or something, but it's not. No.

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I'm going to build a website for it. So I went in and like built a square space site, uploaded all of my like photos of my house. Did you do it as if like the house made the website? I did. Like, hey guys, I'm free. That really was just like a generic house information website. Just so like if people like looked for like to its Twitter account. The house like they can find like pictures and information. It was really easy to use.

I highly recommend it. Is it still a house? No, it's not. It's gone now. That's why I can talk about it now. I don't want to I don't want people finding it and finding out where I lived even though I guess I was selling the house still though It was just it was just weird, but it was super easy great You just one of the templates beautiful website easy few minutes done the best simple website

I think I ever saw was that guy who was having a fun razor to try and and raise my so he wouldn't cook his rabbit His pet rabbit and he had this and raised my niece so he wouldn't cook his rabbit, his pet rabbit. And he had this, you saw that, I'm sure. No. Well, it's the guy who had this pet rabbit that he, you know, had a name, had a backstory on this stuff, he's like, listen, I've come under hard times, I don't want to have to eat this rabbit. So to save this rabbit's life, we're, you know, we're having a fundraiser.

I'm trying to earn... So he was pressuring people to give him money so he wouldn't kill his rabbit. He made so much money. I see. I would not. Rapids are not nice. That's the same thing. That's like robbing a bank and going in with a note saying, if you don't give me money,

I'm going to shoot this girl and you hold on like a picture of like a little girl. It's even worse. It's a rabbit. It's like a rabbit. They're not nice sweet creatures. What is cute? It goes a rabbit. Penny the the pug got bit by a rabbit is like a puppy and like for now like forever She just has this big scar which is actually good because you know Wild animals. She's not a matter what they are usually not nice a domesticated rabbit's probably sweet

No, I think a rabbit's gonna much money you'd make if you made a website and you said, listen, I'm encountering hard times, I need to make X amount or I'm sending penny on a little boat like away from here. Like people would give you $100,000 immediately to save penny and then you'd never do anything of penny of course because penny is, you know, great. But you know, it's just look... It's random sucks. If we were all trapped and we had nothing to eat and Penny the pug was there I get it. I know we'd all want to eat her. I think you'd I just want to let you we don't have to avoid that awkward situation I think you would eat your

Fiancé before you would eat the pug. I'm just throwing that out. I was gonna say the same thing I didn't want to be the one to break the ice on that one, but I'll gladly break the ice I'm like a fat penguin here. I think you would It's pretty good. I think you would eat Paula before you eat the pug I Wanted to get like a little engagement collar or something for penny and be like there you go But that might have been a bit too marrying the pug. Well, she's in the family. Is she gonna be part of your wedding party? I

Want her to be like the little like ring bear, but she's in the family. Is she gonna be part of your wedding party? I want her to be like the little ring bear, but she's so dumb. She would never get it. Get a really long leash and just like tug her down the aisle. Or food, or put food down. She's like a fishing rail and you're just like going like that. You just put a trail of like slices of hot dogs. Yeah. She is or something. Yeah, I should get a flower girl. I'm sub eating them. No Gross, I'd be so cute

The other day I was that was sitting here. What were we doing? Oh, we were doing Practice run for some on the spot stuff and we were sitting we're sitting right over here We're sitting on barstools and it was there were a couple of us sitting around a circle and John was there, obviously. And Miles was there. And Miles walked up and he was drinking water out of a cup. And he sat on his barstool and put the water glass on the ground and then rested his feet on the barstool right above it.

And like we was just freaking out the whole time. We sat there for a couple of minutes and I was like said Does it not bother you that your feet are like rubbing up against that bar stool and probably just dropping everything from the bottom of your shoes directly in your water You just oh no didn't think about that reached up grab reach down grab the water and just like chugged all You probably died a little I died a lot you have a thing about shoes and feet Yeah, like that like That like a sex thing. No, like a phobia. Can it be both?

I'm disgusted. I had a row. That's probably how they get you to conquer your phobia, though, is like I read that with OCD, people and stuff like that. If you have to wash your hands or do a bunch of stuff, they'll get you to lick a sink or get you to touch a toilet without washing washing hands. No, don't stream it on the internet.

Why? Charge people to watch it. Yeah, exactly. It's so what they would make you do, guys, is just lick miles as feet until you got all the dirt off. I'm calling your face. I don't know a problem, so I know. I'm not going to do that. I just agree.

I think you have to lick miles as feet to get over your balls. Yeah, I think it's the only way we can make this happen. Yeah. No, it's definitely not happening Like shoes are so dirty and gross to me I just think about everything I think about everything that's on the ground And it's just filthy I can't deal with that

You know what I'm saying your shoes are really clean actually Well, these are new shoes You have whites on the bottom of your shirt I just got these shoes. Well, what you were saying though, whenever I think of a shoe and think about how dirty they are, I think of walking around in 6th street going in the bathroom. So like going to a bar in like Maggie Mays or the library or whatever the case is, like it's already an inch of filth water in the bathroom and my feet go through that. And then whenever

I think about touching the bottom of it I just think of those bars. That's exactly what I'm thinking about all the time. Really? Is how dirty six-threaded it is. Yeah, well isn't it Gavin? He said I think it I think it was Gavin. He said he went to the bathroom one time while we were going swimming and he didn't have a shoes on. I went to the bathroom and realized how much his piss was spraying onto his feet. You don't realize it as a guy. I still haven't figured out how to properly use a urinal I don't know if you guys have but like when you use it you spray your feet with piss and your leg No, the key is to hold as you just like hold hold what hold and then you just like hit it with like all the force You can but then there's more like a great brown

Like more so you were about that. I'm worried about like you know What that's worried about what we're talking about? There's other way like if it's not this dream isn't strong enough if it starts like you know I'm just like going all over the place. Yeah, I like to trick Like okay, so if it's just this dream isn't and then it's like you know with the the opening and it's just everywhere God no Is that not how yours works? I have no idea what you're talking about.

We're talking about angles. We're talking about when you get to the urinal and you're taking a piss, there's no correct angle. What you, there is a correct angle. No, there isn't down into the left. Well, I go down to the right and it's still not the correct angle because it doesn't work every time. Some urinals will have like stickers in them showing you like where the optimal angle that is bullshit you've never seen this that's what you look up like urinal sticker or like urinal aim

I don't know some guy just came in there put that like see my band it's on the ground there's one point I don't know why I didn't have shoes on probably swimming and I go to the bathroom and I was like it's probably really gross underneath that urinal so I was like I bet I can make it like three feet away. No, no, no, there's so much falling. There's dripping from the the arc like the arc goes people better wear shoes. It's like and they're not touch the shoes.

Oh God you just reminded me I threw my shoes in the washing machine this morning and completely forgot. Thank you. What do you? What's she doing? Someone forget me. For me. Someone forget me. Let's be a little forgotten you brought them. I guess you guys have strong streams. That's not choice angles. Don't include me in this I've definitely do you think? Okay, maybe slightly inappropriate conversation we can cut this if you be because we're not live do you think Volume-wise that women pee faster than men like if you had like I don't know a pint container and you told a man you told a woman fill this with piss who could do it faster?

I think I think it's equal. I don't know man He's a pint container and you told a man, you told a woman, fill this with piss, who could do it faster? I think it's equal. I don't know, man. It depends on your rethras. Right. I had a girlfriend who like, she went in the bathroom so fast and I was like, you wash your hands and she's like, yeah, and I believed her. So I just don't know if she like got there.

This ex girlfriend, not gonna go, yeah, just like, I would think. I would think. Just like, shot it all out. I would think girls would be faster. I think so too. Yeah. Because there's less distance to travel from your bladder to the opening Huh, but you've got to do all that you got to lift the seat and you've got to do just talking about just the active Yeah, just you're in being released into the toilet. Oh, yeah, just I don't know you're in the bottom total experience No, no, no, just like who could in a race who could fill the container faster? You have to take 12 paper and put it on the seat

Yeah, I Type who peas in a Google is a type who peace faster men are women first autocorplete who peas on Drake Oh, hey, weren't you saying something about our Kelly you have a Who peas on Monica and friends So do you think it's like you took like a liter of coke and put it upside down and just open the cap and it's just like that's just falls out.

But I've the opening is why I'm in peed. Why not? It doesn't sound like a pfft. And then it's done. It sounds like a like when a guy is peeing right? Right? Yeah. Right? Yeah. Okay. Well then why would it be more like quicker or greater volume greater volume so what I meant to say greater I don't know you don't know what what is that I was at the stick that's that's that's a

lie I've ever seen that stick you've never seen that yeah like they'll put like yeah like a bug or something that you aim at no That's one of the That is not a normal North American urinal shape, but that's the idea your vinyl That's one of those stickers that says drugs are sold here We would you ask if you lick that B you get really high? That's LSD Would it we try it if instead of a B it was a face? There's a man what bars in Austin where it's just a big open mouth that you pee into?

Interesting. Is it the aquarium? I don't know. Maybe. It's just a mouth and it's open like that. Well, there's a bar where the urinals are in front of like a one-way mirror. That's the aquarium. That's the aquarium.

Yeah, you just look at people. That's really fine when you're doing that because you're like I'm pan and they can't tell anything But sometimes and I've done this before you go up to the one-way mirror and you know where the bottom of the urn Always and he just look you can't see anything But you know the person on the other side of the mirror is like this guy's looking at my Weak yeah, yeah, or you just disappointed take out your phones like I saw a picture This is like someone that was circulating on reddit long time ago But it's this line of urinals where there's a woman behind each year and all like going like

Or like pointing or something and she's like I would never want to use one of those because it's like they're making fun of you Is a real women or the pictures of real women? There's real women in the back I will talk about the one-way mirrors And if they had a woman strategically placed behind each mirror looking down like this That would encourage you? What? Would that encourage you? No, I don't want anyone staring at me paying

I don't want anyone to see that That's not... You have some performance anxiety Look at that! This is what I'm talking about That's a little that's too weird urinals I see that's in Europe someone like an ice cream cone so weird There are some bathrooms in Austin where it's just a bunch of like naked pictures of women in the guy's restroom and

that's just a wall of it above the urinals. Is it a bar? There's a few bars like that. I don't want that. Why would you put that as fear? Also, like yeah, what's the purpose? It's really awkward when you're like peeing there and then you're finished peeing and you're still staring at it and like everyone else is leaving the urinal and you're just sitting there with nothing to do but you have to you're staring. I thought you're gonna say it's really awkward when you're finished peeing in all of a sudden You get a boner and then you have to stay there always have the boner to can you is it?

Possible to use one of those astronaut P-hoses like Not in zero gravity like if I bought one could I use it or does it only work if you're year in is It's on about the vacuum cleaner? Yeah, like when you're in space, you just got a hose, and you just pee in a hose, right? There's not a hole in the wall, you don't go in the hole. Just buy a flow bee. Yeah, just to attach it to the end of your day.

Full circle. That seems like, I mean, I get that for the house. Yeah. Something that has suction and anything, just. It it's just like then you want and done. Do you know what I'm talking about like in the space station? I know what you're talking about. I'm just refusing to acknowledge it. Smartmouth. All right well we got to wrap up this time to go.

Oh smart. Have a happy Labor Day everybody. Hope you guys had a good Labor Day. It's over now. All right. And we'll see you guys next week. Vote for us in the streamies. Hope you guys had a good Labor Day. It's over now. All right. And we'll see you guys next week. Vote for us in the streamies. Love you. In the streamies. Bye. Kays! Here in my heart. It's strange we have Labor Day but we've broken all the union. you Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way.

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