Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Sad Finger - #332

Episode Date: July 14, 2015

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers will learn that an Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now, only on peacock You like that one guitar solo man? Welcome to a very special edition of the podcast now

We should say beforehand that this is a pre-recorded podcast But is brought to you by a square space on it Audible which we'll be talking about a little bit later. Audible school in the show. We're pre-taping you. We have a special guest with us. Why don't you say hello? Hey what's up everybody it's me Colton. Hello. Welcome. Actually Michael you kind of a special guest in the podcast too are you. So we also have like not part of the family. No he's just saying that you're special. All I'm saying is that we don't get you on the podcast enough. Well, you don't ask me enough. Cold cold man on something.

You can get me literally every single week. Gus doesn't ask you. Bernie's not gonna get it. I'm not in charge of that at all. I got the stupid iPad this week, but I'm very happy I want to give a shout out to the control room. They didn't make me wear Gus's disgusting earpiece.

Oh god. It's just gonna be shouting. Do they have replacement pieces that they put in? Well, they have like little plastic things. Like for like when the doctor checks your piece. Oh god, they're just gonna be shouting. Do they have replacement pieces that they put in? Well, they have like little plastic things, for like when the doctor checks your temperature, I think he's gonna lose. He burns through those things like, he warms a pod cat.

He's probably right, didn't he, he like melted his keyboards and his computers, like his fingers? Yeah, that's a thing. He's got his fingers. What's in his sweat? Yeah, the road's metal over time,

like a really long period time. It's not like we're just? Yeah, the roads metal over time like true long So if he puts like a penniness mouth it slowly dissolves Also barbers here and I'm Bernie. Thank you. I feel well. I gave you I gave you an introduction How do you feel about that? I feel that's really nice of you cold called me out though because as soon as Michael set foot on stage I just I happen to say does anybody want makeup totally sounded like you were saying Michael needs makeup? I know was anybody does anybody anybody at all anybody here want some makeup? Anyone at all anybody? I was asking for myself because I'm a makeup theme. Do you want makeup? I could go get some I think we're good. I think that ship is sailed at this point. I like the

Comfortability I've gotten to was makeup here. Like I've never, I never used makeup before working at Brewster Geath. Yeah. And I got here and someone was like, Oh, you're gonna be in something. I'll put makeup on you. And I said, Okay, sure, I guess, I guess that's how that works.

Yeah. And I've never thought about it ever again. Like if I go on something and someone offers it, sure, sure. If you want it, I'll have high heel shoes. Right, yeah. Whatever. The question is funny when I had,

you know, once you and I got married last year. That I like. I was about to ask. Right, yeah. Whatever. The question is funny when I had, you know, I got married last year. That I love. I was about to ask this. Go ahead. But we got, she had to make a partist, you know, and she used her and all that. So she was like, yeah, I'm gonna hire for the, for the groom's party too.

And my reaction to that was like, I'm sure whatever, like I had to make up a million times. Telling my brothers, they were getting makeup for the wedding. I was like, no, no, I'm not doing it. I'm like, she's all for the jersey. You sitting in chairs, I'm not I'm not getting I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that I'm holding my wallet It's like who cares? It's all you try to rob me

I'm going to be called a pirate Rocky man. It's slippery slope. I'm sorry, but make up. You're living in the gutter. You look good, but you got no money in the class. Yeah. But you're just getting his flaws. No pants on. Just make an agreement, say you get your makeup done and then you could go drink some beer

and, you know, hammer ups and drywall. Who was that that did your makeup, by the way? I was Jesse. Okay. Colton, you just started working with us. So here's an unfortunate thing. I feel bad about discussing something, this business related on the air. I recently found out I said, hey, how come Jesse doesn't do our makeup

for these last two projects we did? I said, I like Jesse. Then they had to reveal to me that they didn't hire Jesse for two gigs in a row because they get delayed because her and I talk too much when I'm in the chair. So you put her at a work. So she's your fault? That's my fault.

That should have gotten rid of you. Yeah. I was like, why did you tell me that? I feel so guilty. Now we're bad. I love Jesse. She's. Now we hire back. I'm like, Hey, Jesse. I have to be like, Hey, I can't. She's gonna come back and be like, bring hate to me. It's like he wouldn't hire me for two gigs in a row. I'm like this. I'm like this for your own good. Like a Harry the handersons. You're like hitting her in the face. Just go We don't love you Harry Harry in the handers since yeah, all right great

To work in a movie theater and I saw here in the handers, because I get in freed all the movies I I saw here in the handersons like ten times. Oh, it was great. Yeah, John Lithgow He would only like Juliard or like with the Globe theater to see with a guy in a monkey suit. That was one of the most realistic big flits I've ever seen. That was a good one. Yeah. I wouldn't have been holds up.

I haven't seen it in years. Oh, I'm sure it doesn't. Harry. Harry in Henderson's. I'm sure you guys have no idea what this is about. No, I know what you guys are saying. It's a family that they hit big foot with their car. Yeah, they're like on a family trip and then they hit big they hit something with their car

And they I think they like pull it into the car and it wakes up and it's a big foot and then it kind of like I would have to put it to their car We got a clip here a period right now Yeah, see and they feel bad This is the whole movie yeah, see, and they feel bad. This is like the whole movie. Yeah, and I think they're at first they're like, we're gonna make money off them and like, we're gonna do all this,

but then they become, you know, they fall in love with it. They bring it home? Yeah, they bring it home, because they think it's dead, but it's not. They'd awake up on top of the car when they're coming home. What a great place to bring something dead.

He'd break in the stairs, because it's incredible. It looks incredible. You know, there we go. Just all the problems you'd be fed with. He break in the stairs because he's got a bit. You know, just all the problems you got with the big foot. Big foot. No, you don't need the toilet like that. For the room, the movie for you.

I mean, I did give you a taste. They try to get them to go back into the woods, but it doesn't work. Do they adopt that? She's great too. You got the neighbors that come over and they're trying to hide. A lot of great character actors in this movie.

She's so good. But it's like a classic like mid 80s movie. That guy's awesome. He's a guy who hunts bigfoot, who hunts Harry. I saw recently, you know that famous footage that they've had for years. Sure, one of the ones like walking away. Yeah, the bigfoot's walking away.

Look, back towards camera. There you go. I'm gonna do the look for the camera. That's it, hang on. Hang on. Whoa. That's it. That's it. That's it. on. Whoa, that's it, that's it. I'm bigfoot, you channeled it with me.

But somebody, you know, I've always said, or I haven't, we said a lot of people said that once camera phones, once everybody had a camera in their pocket, sure enough, nobody goes and UFOs, nobody sees them in the world. Right, right, right, now there's nothing. Now that it can be documented, you no longer see anything anymore. If people were like, they're gonna find them now. Now we got camera

phones. Everybody's gonna find them. It's like, nope. Nope. They're still not there. Yeah. So, so many people in the video are taking the same thing and proving it. The only thing we proved that there really are a bunch of asshole cops. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. That was the only. Yeah. Well, I do that before. Before when you thought it was aware that there were assholes. I'd say to every guy, white people believe in the same phenomenon as I. Phenomenon. I'm very, very, it's true.

It turns out it's true. We have recovivin. I don't know what your experience like. Coffee. It's just delivered. It really is a different world to America's man. But they, so many took that old footage and big foot walking to the woods

and they applied an image you can probably look at some patch somewhere they applied image stabilization to it because it's like a shaky cam thing and so they did that thing on youtube where the image stabilizes the whole thing it's just a dude walking in a suit it's all it is it's a really what kind of suit like it looks like kind of like nasty you've never seen what you're talking about no it's like the quintessential bigfoot footage

it's like actually like footage of it where it looks like big Foot but not what the guy looks like and what oh, yeah, once they stabilize it It's just looks like it's like a dude just a dude walking. I mean it's just like it really takes away Yeah, just a big dude big suit. That's all it is I think the guy who shot it like was like one point was like yeah, I know it's fake But then right before he died he was like it wasn't fake It was real what that and then he died Because because of his life Yeah, no, it's fake, but then right before he died he was like it wasn't fake. It was real what's that and then he died Because

Stabilized it yeah, just a dude walking in suit. What's up still looks pretty good? Pink foot man get it out there is it like a snow suit Just catch a guy wearing a snow suit I don't think it's not me. It didn't just catch a guy wearing a snow suit. Oh, I thought that was what you were saying. No, no, no, no. You thought they just grabbed a hairy snow suit and we're like, what's that? Yeah!

But everything has been a big misunderstanding. No, no, no, no. That was a big mistake. I don't tend to look at this. There's not even a snow on the ground. Maybe it's easily cold. I don't know. You're right.

Good cold. Maybe it's a snow suit made out of big foot hair yet. Yeah, he hair Barbara I'm trying to peel you out of that one. It's actually 20 you mentioned that that is actually what the laser team suits look like before they shaved them Yeah, bottom like that Well, the first time the movie shoot them in those suits. So when you see laser team So you think it's a movie about four bigfoot in those suits. So when you see laser team, you think it's the movie about four bigfoot. Yeah, yeah, I was originally called four bigfoot. And bigfoot is spelled with a Z at the end.

I was actually a little concerned when you were telling the story of Harry and Henderson. So I was like, that sounds a lot like laser team. The round of vacation, they hit something with their car. They take it out. We ripped off Harry and the head. It's really just a reboot. We're all using one piece of bigfoot. I have his arm. Lithga is gonna sue us. What's John Lithga been in lately?

I don't know, man. I think he does TV now, doesn't he? He had, he was in Dexter. Okay, like that was the pinnacle season of Dexter, season four. He was fantastic. Was he a villain? Yeah, best season of the whole show. He makes a great villain.

And then after that, he had that TV show with, shit, I can't remember who it was. I think it was the dude from arrest development, the older guy. I came out 30, right from the sun. No, no, no, no. Why did you say speech? But he's like the banner.

Wait, what? Speech is going to jail. Did you guys hear about that? A lot of what for the sex tape? He just abs somebody at a bar going a jail for something maybe that was There's some in the bar. I got the internet right here. I can probably just create cut a dude Don't fuck this girl The guy who played Anakin also getting the DUI

Yeah, yeah, he just the kid he just got Got fuck. Yeah, he's employed like like a week ago A little kid he grew up. Yeah, he's old lot of people. How do you get a car, man? All those mini-clawy, I thought he could just like just go. I like truck. Yeah. Probably did.

That kid hates Star Wars. He does, man. Yeah, like he can now like, years and years ago. Like, he's probably around his 30, I would guess now. But like, 10 years ago, when he was 30 years old. Maybe like, maybe like late 20s I remember when it came out. Well came out in the world of 99 I think came out 1999. I mean I was in middle school. So he was probably

He was 10 maybe maybe he's like two years younger than me. So maybe he's like 25 26. Oh, okay Damn, but like around the time when he was in college like there was tons of interviews with him Just saying basically about how like it ruined his life and he hated it and like it was just such a negative Connotation in that's to him now people just associate him with that character forever I guess and that and just like I guess like he was like I was robbed of a childhood like as he was doing that and Like I got all that money Fighting get that was Star Wars money, huh? Yeah, Jimmy. Jimmy here's that they Peter Mayhew I don't know. And David Prouds the guys that played Chibaka and Star Wars played Darth Vader the guy in the suit for Darth Vader

Yeah, they talked about how they never got royalties From the Star Wars movies because they never made any money on paper This is like the original Star Wars That they the original ones but the like fan Phantom Menace made a lot of money. And by then the accounting rules had to be a little bit better where they could be accepted. Coal's here from out of town, so he's having Rudy's barbecue. You can go for it.

Yeah. Rudy's honestly is probably the most underrated barbecue place in... It's just basically some potatoes with melted butter. I gave you a hug. When you first got here and I was like, you smell delicious because you smell just a little round. I think it's because it's a chain place number one and two because most of them, if not all of them are attached to a gas station. I love that part.

It's a very like, well, I don't know about that place. Amazing. I can be nasty to go to Rudy's other day Just because we need a gas in the truck and I'm like, oh we can go to we can go to Rudy I'm not a good gas. We got barbecue in the afterwards Which she was like, do you want to go get gas now? He just started the car right there. I was like, no Got the car going away. I like 20 miles left in the tank. Our slogan is great too. I can fill up the car So bad. I thought so kind of bad. Little bad. The slogan is like the worst barbecue or the worst barbecue in Texas. Yeah,

worst barbecue in Texas. All right. Do you use the hand washing machine they have there? It's so cool. I knew I was gonna hand in the machine. I was thinking on you bringing that up. Yeah. I love it. I love that thing. I mean, I've never sat down and eaten there because I don't know if I could show you guys this on camera, but I't you know look I grew up in Minnesota so coming down to Texas is always fun the guy standing me in front of me in line today at Rudy's had a wonderful tattoo on the back of his legs right yeah let's see if you can if you can read that tattoo right let's see here do you want me to read it? Yeah. It's just white pride. I wonder what that is.

I never seen anybody with a white I don't hang out too long. I hang out too long at root. It's pride. I got the midnight to go. It's on both legs. And I was like, And he made a choice to wear shorts.

I was like, This guy's wearing shorts. He could wear some pants. You got to a public placement. A lot of white people wear pants. Get some doctor's. Get some doctor's. Get some doctor. Get some doctors, yeah.

Some nice cheesels. Oh, here's the hand washing station. Oh, that's the best thing I've ever done. I was really confused why I was fisting in. Yeah, the thing is really interesting. That's what it looks like. I was like, what's the longest habit? I thought someone's like,

Porto tab was still up and then just like, I was like, yeah. But it's a machine that you just stick your hands into and it's like this robot washes your hands. It's awesome You don't do anything just hold them in there. No, it's so great Buy that everybody else the Rudy's have been Sticking off the water and there's a robot you open it up and there's just a little midget in there What's it dude?

Robot washes your hand. I picked someone with a cloth coming at it. They did it with a squeegee. You know, Tingle-O-Texas Barber, he does not need more robots. It just spins around. That's in Men in Black 2, the dude in the copy machine. That's like, the alien is like eight times. There's like a dude with eight tongues in the room.

Oh, no. Like in your face. Yeah, there it is. What's the thing that's going to show to that? That's disgusting. What do you call that when you do that thing in the really Your Like What do you call that when you like you that thing they're talking you shoot out like bleak bleak Yeah, that's that's what he's doing. He's bleakin in there. I can't do leaking on command It only happens randomly. Oh it happens at the dentist. Yeah, he's like not when you want it to yeah You know what I'm wanted to I don't exactly the same way. It's a glorify yon really big

I can do it when you want it to. Yeah, you know what I'm wanted to. I don't exactly the way. It's like, or if I y'all are really big, I can do it. It happens to me every time I go. Does it help? My math is open and they're like doing stuff and I swallow and I just like, see. I don't feel bad about that though,

because it's like, you go to the dentist, that's, they gotta expect that. It's like people are out of the job. Stuff like that. It's just when you're talking to someone, it's right in their face, you're like, ah, it happens. Sorry.

Dude, I went to the dentist one time. And there's once. Well, there's one time. It didn't end in six months. She had like this, I mean, it was a ridiculous like face shield. It looked like a welding mask. She went down.

I was like, and I was like, it really, I was like, I'm not intimidated by the dentist, but I said, that's, that's a bit much. I go, what's going on with that? She goes, I just got back from a conference. She goes, and they were talking about face protection as part of it. She goes and I went to the seminar,

she shouldn't have done it because it freaked me out. The dentist is saying this. She said she went to a seminar from a dentist who had been blinded in one eye because he worked on a patient who had a cold sore and he got something in his eye and he got herpes in his eye and it like basically just ate his eye. Oh my god. And so I was like, yeah, right, I was from a patient. I'm really, really, really, I'm feeling it.

He's catching one of the fans. I'm gonna catch you in the face. But I'll never forget that. I mean, she put this thing down, and she gets the drill out, and then she goes like this, she goes, chook, I'm gonna take the face shot, I'm like, I can't hack that.

Yeah. So I didn't look, I even had like, I just had, I just last week had some mouthwork done you to like we both came in We were like numb like a week apart. It's always like a weird experience But I was been lucky I've only had like one cavity my whole life and then that was it That was the one where she put the facial I don't want your cavity little kid and yeah most people I never had any as a kid But the last time I went to the dentist which was about six or seven months ago. They're like you have four cavities but the last time I went to the dentist, which was about six or seven months ago,

they're like, you have four cavities. I mean, I'm like, whoops. I've been to the dentist in years. And what do they do for that, do you ski, little drill? Yeah. They just give you a filling. When I went to the dentist's last time, I hadn't been in, I think like, five years.

I hadn't been. What were they mad? Were they like, you gotta come to the dentist, when they were, no, they were accepting. They were like, no, it's okay. I feel like they've gotten better with that over the years, because there's so many people that are like,

I haven't been to the dentist in five years, guess I'll never go again. Right. Because the Dennis is gonna be like, you fuck you fucked up. Yeah. Like I've realized that, like I've went to the Dennis,

you know, not as often as I should have back in New Jersey, probably like every year, year and a half or something like that. And then, but like leading up to moving here and coming here, it had been a gap of like two and a half years. And I totally had that like, oh, you know what I mean? Right, I would do. If Rudy's had been a gap of like two and a half years and I totally had that like oh you know what I would do if Rudy's had like a machine.

Robo just spits on your teeth. Make sure it doesn't have herpes. I have herpes on my teeth. I'm getting the point now where it's like technology is moving so fast like it seems like every day there's something new coming out that's just Absolutely amazing like we got these credit cards Colton where you can take all your credit cards and put in one card. Yeah, you got one of those I don't have it yet because I have Apple pay that so it kind of bumped up against Apple pay, but Yeah, yeah, I would like to check out

We all hate it because it like only swipes like 80% of the places. Would you be able to pay? No, this coin card. Oh really? Yeah, for me, it's 80% Gus says he's like 5%. Really? Either way, it's enough to where you got to carry your other cards anyway. Yeah, that's the card right there. I got one here.

So we bashed on this thing enough on the thing. But it seems like every day, there's something cool coming out like these thermostats, you can connect over. Why find everything? Man, I'm buying a house right now. And I've said this, I wouldn't have bought a house like this 15 years ago. Like if I was as old as I am now,

but it was 15 years ago, I suck. I'm piece of shit as far as meeting people and documents and paperwork and all this crap. And just like 90% of it's online. You know, it's just like, docuSign. And I'll let, what's up? Oh, docuSign. Oh, just like when you actually get into it,

you know, like I looked at the house and now it's like, now you have to talk to the mortgage guy and the insurance person, you know, the homeowner's insurance and like all this kind of crap. And it's overwhelming now, but it's overwhelming in 2015. I'm just like, how did people buy houses 20 years ago? I'm a jerk with any paperwork when I'm like on a shoot or something.

All right, here's your paperwork. I'm like, just email it to me. Yeah. So I can just do it on my phone and I'll send it back. Click a button. And if I have to send a fax like somebody gives me a document that assigned in fax to them It's like the worst thing in my week. I just like somebody if they bring up fax, right? I'm even worse Barbie. No, I do what I say I scan this. I just take a picture of it with my phone That's all I do and that should be good enough

That will create a PDF out of that should be good enough. Well, and this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough.

And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough.

And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. And this is the good enough. You know, you have a check take a picture of it and it's deposited like that's crazy You can do that a bunch of banks like almost every bank at this point. Oh really and it's weird too Cuz like I mean, I'm assuming at some point you might have kids Michael. I mean the the world I'm trying to set your kids You're married Just pick it some player cards right you never know your cards right bro

It's weird to think about the world that your kids are gonna grow up in like even my kids I mean they it's a little upsetting when I think about it. Yeah, I totally get My parents and their generation now like the things aren't the same at all But I get it like you little fucks. We didn't have this shit like I'm already like that for my kids that aren't alive yet Like you little bitches like I wasn't born with the internet. You didn't know. Yeah, I didn't have a cell phone I'm about what about like sexual expectations oh well I think I think kids today are gonna have some crazy ass they're gonna be out there man why do you think that because they see everything right like it I it's all

trickled down to me yeah I first saw it naked lady on some pillows that was like the craziest thing I'd ever seen yeah porn for the first time like a like a like a movie like a movie? Like a movie? Like a movie? I was a teenager, but it was like 70s porn, which wasn't that crazy, and everybody was hairy. Yeah. Yeah.

And so, but now it's like, you can go online and be like, we can get you to shoot. No suit. Yeah, man, yeah, now on your online, everybody's doing so soon. I remember one of the first pornographic things I ever saw, and it's like, full on nobody beyond this point is going to find that, but it's shy of being in the middle

of nowhere. I found like, Woods porn. Like, magazines thrown away in the middle. We talked about this on the podcast, and I'm like'm like oh shit and we found like a bunch of magazines like that was the I had seen porno and like little glimpses before but I was probably like 13 or so and it was the first thing ever owned like there's boobies in here and it was just like a bunch of porno mags in the woods like yeah yep I sat on a channel on my television that we didn't have but when you went to

it late at night there there was that blurry. Oh, the squiggly. Like, oh, there's a boob. Oh, there's a boob. Oh, there's a boob. Yeah, you could decode that. Your eyes have the technology. I think I was like, wow.

I can make this work. But it's so weird, because it's like that porn mags end up in the middle of the woods. It's just something that everybody experienced. And like, kids would find he's like, you don't like mashing the dirt and the, you know, they were all wet from doing being random. We really need to make, we need to make like,

like a concentrated effort. We should have like little groups just go out in the woods and just throw a porn out. Like for the next generation. Gotta keep the culture alive, you know, because I'm not wanderin' out there. Kids don't go in the woods anymore, because kids don't go.

It's true, we'd have to just burst and have to throw porn in the woods. Now we have to throw porn. We make a website called Forest porn and just like have a like woods that people could walk into virtually and fine porn Like a virtual okay, that's a great porn site forest porn Up porn. I'm just needs like a section put on your trail porn Get like make a character and walk through the woods and discover porn put on an oculus It's like it's like I'm oh I found it. Yeah, get treasure chest a nipple

But it's just a single I can see now that like when you go to a playground like I'm gonna play around with my kids There's as many adults at a playground as are kids because everybody goes to the playground with their kids When I was a kid now with the playground it was like there's no adults around there was those adults that got arrested for Letting their kid walk home from the playground. Yeah, all craziness. I had I had a moment yesterday. I went to Best Buy I was actually getting a I was actually getting a housewarming gift for you Michael Oh, you were getting in the house and This little best buy there was just a little kid in front of you. What's that? Did you get me a best buy gift certificate? Like here you go. No, I got you one of those I got you a pedometer

So the worst thing you buy Selfie stick It's an Ironman phone case Use that it's also it's a five-ass There was this little kid in front of me and he was at the cash register and he was way too young to be the cash register by himself. And both me and the guy behind the counter were like, uh, you know, and he's like, the kid puts, uh, big hero six, blue ray up on the counter.

And the guy behind the counter just take it because do you have any money or anything like that? And the kid pulls out a dollar and just puts it there and it's like locked eyes with a dude. It's like a dollar and he kills like that. He was like 25. Oh, he was like $10 locked eyes and like, the guy on the couch was super nice, everything. And then I saw his mom over there.

She saw him and she was like actually embarrassed to come get him. I don't know why. I get to do the later after talking about maybe she didn't speak English. Come on kids, you should call him over. He's gonna leave and it was such a funny moment

and I won't show it because it's a young kid but I decided I took a picture of it and then the parking lot I found the lady I said I said this was just so funny do you want me to send you this picture and I send it to the picture but it was like

that was like a risk you know it's like a grown man taking a photo of a kid you know it's like I'm sure he's been you saying that right now but it was a moment you know, it's like, I'm sure you've been saying that right now. But it was a moment, you know, like, I mean, you, it was so fun. It was so fun. But that's why I didn't just give him the DVD.

No, you didn't have that, man. I totally would have. I would, I mean, I have to feel like you just had to pull it. It's, that's too cute. Because at least the kids understand how, you know, commercialism, war, capitalism, work, you know. He waited in the line, too. Like, yeah, that is, he's like, I know, I got my dollar. Yep.

I can see people being really cautious about a grown man taking a picture of a kid. Like that to me is, you know, people become so sensitive about that kind of subject matter. I gotta say, it really sucks to you. You guys like Subway? Oh my god. Subway. Oh my god. Yeah.

What are you talking about? You're about Jared from Subway? No, what happened? The FBI like rated his house for like a suspect of child porn on his computer. Suspect? Yeah, but they full on like clear to his house. Talk about it. Charge your found guilty with anything.

No, not a charge. Yeah, it's not a good sign when the FBI raised your house. No, it's just a guy that he ran his Jared Foundation with was recently arrested and charged because they found evidence and then he tried to kill himself and now he's on life support I believe. Yikes. I was gonna make a joke about eating fresh but okay. Are you still camp? I just wanna point out for his family. My story nothing like that. Which is a regular story. Funny mention a little kid Bernie you really want up my makeup comment to Michael.

I saw you with a subway sandwich earlier. It's a cute story Bernie anyway let me tell you about pedophilia. But it is $5.5 I gotta say I think it's unfortunate. I think it's unfortunate. We don't know that was along. I feel like we've cut off a whole generation of kids though From like half of the population. Yeah, but I don't know what happened where men

Became like this public enemy for kids like that if a kid is alone with a male adult That's a huge fucking problem. Yeah, and it's like there's just as many dads as there are moms in the world And it's for some reason if a kid is alone with a dad It's seen as like oh, maybe we should check on the situation. Yeah, like make sure everything's okay Right the gym here, but the Kwanis flight where they moved a guy because they moved a guy And he kept asking why are you changing my seat? Why are you changing my seat? And finally he got out of that Kwanis's policy is if there's an unaccompanied minor

They're not allowed to sit next to an adult male on the plane and there was an unaccompanied you know the kids with the like flying by themselves they got the ticket around their neck right there there was a kid in his row and he wasn't allowed to sit there so they moved him and then everybody on the fucking plane is looking at him like something's wrong with him yeah like he did something and this dude just happens that he works with kids for a living that's what he does and it's just like like, and he's like. That's a little suspicious. See, there you go, working with kids.

This is a new home. Right, I mean, this is even the same. And actually, the more high profile cases you hear about, like you hear about teachers, bang and students, and stuff like that, it's usually like these women in Florida. That's what we see. And this is the problem. Women need to molest more children,

and we'll get it back We're there brother like equivalent and then it like don't be trusted around that man or woman It probably happens. That was just getting the kids. It probably happens just as much as it's not important I'm better at hiding it I just think the whole the whole idea like stranger danger and everything like that is just been like Antway the so God it's just been Ant way. That's all promise of the movie No Country For Old Men is that it's set in the 80s or the late 70s and you think like the world gets worse as you get older but it's just you get older the world's always like a rough place and it's just you just don't realize it. That's what I call

No Country For Old Men. Well that was the that was show America's most wanted you know remember you had the host of that. Yeah, the sun was murdered. Well, that was the show America's most wanted. You know, remember the host of that. Yeah, his son was murdered. Yeah, dude. And he like, he was Adam. I remember when that happened. He pushed, he pushed that a lot, but I mean, it was a horrifying story. Yeah, I think he was he was decapitated. Yeah. Yeah. And they found like his remains and all that. Yeah, I watched that one. I was like seven. But I was everywhere. And I was a cause I was the only child with a single parent, so I went everywhere by myself.

I never had any problems going anywhere. I was kind of that way. You didn't know. I was kind of that way just in the sense that I was the third child, but it was such a gap. Like my brothers are six and nine years older than me. So when I was born, it was, you know, I was born in 1987.

My parents were just like, ah, fuck. And like my, my oldest brother was like, you can't go out. You like 10, 10, 12 years old, can't go around the block. Like, unless I walk you there, I'll drop you off, you know, like, you're gonna get got, they're gonna get you. You're gonna get me. I was like seven. And they're like, be back by 10. And they were like, our first two kids are alive. So you'll probably be fine. That's basically how it worked with me. Like my upbringing compared to my brothers, 10 and they were like our first two kids are alive. So you'll probably be fine. That's basically how it worked with me. Like my upbringing compared to my brothers,

totally different with my parents. It was like, we got pregnant. And then it was like, Pooh out of the house. Right, they had that when you guys kicked out, locked the door. Like you were not allowed in the house in the weekend. Fuck off.

I was just like, I'll be in my room. They're like, this fine, just don't bother us. It was the opposite with my family. Like me and my brothers, my parents didn't care. They're like, go out play whatever, but then my younger brother was born and they're like, baby. Maybe you're younger brother because he's younger than you.

He's dipping back into the, what Bernie was saying is like everybody's just freaking out nowadays. I hit that sweet spot of like no one gave his shit. Now everyone's getting super into the game. It's all into the game. Yeah, it's all into the game. It was also true. It was also like, I mean back then,

they gave me a knife when they sent me out. People would drop you off I got dropped off at literally games that played a little league You know my parents would my one of my parents would come and it was like or I could drop off at practice My kids were in the league. I'm guilty of it to you every fucking parent was there for the entire practice You know, I mean it's just like for the whole practice. Yeah, for practice man not even the games But like for practice like like it is not appropriate just time management right yep you know you could be doing something better at that point that's the whole reason that you

put your kids into extra quirky activities to be get that you don't do your own thing for that yeah yeah same as like kids parties it's like a birthday party there should be two two parents that's it you know and then a restaurant just kids Smoke and a joint in the kitchen And the kids are playing But look at this this is a I'm not even holding a hold this up you can see it the picture of a joint No, this is for this is article on CNN the headline and I can see it it says male passengers be allowed to sit next to a company Children question. No. Yeah. Oh CNN is so stupid. See it is asking that question. Should mail Passenger and then for asking it was about Just wondering we're just saying is so stupid. Seeing as just asking that question, should mail the past answer and then for asking if it's don't, it's one of the first ones. Just wonder it.

We're just saying. That's just crazy. Are all men predators? We don't know. I'm bad at answering with the editors. We good? Okay. One, say thanks to Audible.com for supporting the Rusey podcast Audible.com is a leading

provider of audiobooks with more than 150,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature, including fiction, nonfiction, and periodicals. Audio books are great to listen to when you're stuck in traffic. For our audience members, audible is offering a free audiobook to give you a chance to try out their service. One audiobook you may want to consider is to kill a marking bird by Harper Lee. That's interesting because it's a new Harper Lee thing that I just read about the other day. To download the audiobook for free or another one of your choice, go to audible.com slash

Roushirti. That's audible.com slash Roushirti. Yeah, you big, you big books on tape person. I just downloaded it because I was hanging out with the fun house guys and they did a promo for Audible and I was about to get on the plane so I Downloaded the app mm-hmm, and yeah, man. That's great. Yeah, I just I just bought Game of Thrones I I was Lindsey put the the whole series on her wedding registry. We have it. Yeah I'm

At home are you up to date on the show? Yeah, I'm gonna do it in the show I was like I don't have the time to read that the books in the show are now like that even pretty pretty much Yeah, no things that are surpassing the books the couple of things couple things But then there's stuff in the books that just have never been touched on in the show, right? There's a couple characters right or just skipped it There's a there's a big character in the book. They just skipped outright. Yeah, I assume I know who you're talking Okay, oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, I assume I know who you're talking. Okay. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, I like that show. I like we did we did a really I thought we did a really funny short for Audible

Which is we did an audiobook version of Where's Waldo? I saw that and it's just the dude These two were in it. You guys really funny. Yeah, and I love the guy who's doing the voice Good question. Yeah, it's very very funny. You know, I speak of that so you know, I was coming down here I love the guy who's doing the voice Very very funny, you know, I speak of that so you know, I was coming down here So I was like I'm gonna watch a bunch of Artie video and so I went on to YouTube had it on my TV and just Clicked the the segment that said RT originals and it's like 160 videos and I spent all day so it started at the beginning so like Bernie's like this videos. Yeah. And I spent all day.

So it started at the beginning. So like Bernie's like this fat dude, stealing people sandwiches. That's like every video. For like the first, you know, 20 videos. It was just a way to get free. Yeah, it's honestly. That's all that was.

That's all it was. But then it started branching out. So it was great. It's great to see all of a sudden you show up at one point. I'm like, oh, shit. There he is. And you guys move from place to place. But yeah, 160 videos I watch. Wow. It's point. I'm like, oh shit there he is and you guys move from a place to place But yeah 160 videos I watch

I realized we made that many that's crazy. I mean, I think they're probably even more than that That was just in like the RT originals RT shorts my dad talks about severance snackage almost every day Which one is that that's where you get a fire fire And you do like a lot of all these bits where you're like I got a fire because before one more bike and you're like looking keep looking out the window All panicky. Yeah, you're very panic I would love to know how many sandwiches are in if you guys somebody out there can just count how many sandwiches Show up in rooster teeth videos. I love you know that number because it is a Ridiculous well if for those of you who wouldn't be aware,

and if you're listening to podcasts, I'm sure you are, Colton is one of the lead principal cast for laser team. That's right. Place Herman and laser team. Laser team, our feature film, which comes out later this year. And that's coming out. It's coming out.

We're actually doing it. The whole time we kept filming it, and I'm like, this is never coming out. Yeah, which is pocketed all that money. It's coming, damn. It's come in damn It's gonna be a the you got must be what spiritual Harry and the Henderson but

There was a couple scenes where we had to eat There was one scene in particular cold where you and I had eaten cheeseburger and oh my god You were you were very professional It sounds weird to say it this way, but you were professional. You had a spit cup where you would take some bites of the cheeseburger. And between two takes, you would spit it out. I was like, free cheeseburger.

And the illusion. I think I gave like five pounds in that scene. And what was hard about that scene though, because I didn't use a spit cup at first, because we were also actually hungry when we started shooting it. So you take a bite out of this burger and they were really good burgers

It tastes so good, but by the you know eighth take the burger tastes horrible It tastes like it tastes the worst and your body's telling you not to eat anymore burger But I had to yeah, I had to eat the burgers. I had to eat corn dogs I had to squirt easy cheese them are about. All right, and I had eaten easy cheese before. So I didn't know what to expect. I remember that. And it was a plastic, easy yellow plastic.

It was very salty, surprisingly salty. I think it's just colored salt. It's one of the things that are gaining the whole thing together. It's like when you don't ever read. Salt It's like when you don't ever read you know they put that nutritional information on the side of easy cheese knowing it No one ever gonna bother to read that. Oh, no, but it's like double check. Okay. I'm good I'm working for memory here, but it's like a thousand percent of your daily intake So do you? Per serving pretty sure might be it might be off a little bit of my numbers But I had a seam righty to chili dog and I was super excited about that day I'm so proud of you for serving. Pretty sure. It might be off a little bit of my numbers. But that's what it's so good.

I had a scene where I had either chili dog, and I was super excited about that day. I got out easy that day in general, because that was the coldest night of the shoot was the next night, and it was an outside shoot. You were there for that, Barb. Yeah, and... I didn't even know it was at the set a couple of times.

And then the night before that was not nearly as cold, and I had to sit in the along chair and I'd eat chili dogs and went to eight chili cheese dogs in the course of like you ate them all 45 I mean I believe I wouldn't believe it you look great now but believe it so with seeing you those first RT videos man I believe it we made the problem guy would come back to us because I cared you want to hand that off? I'm like, I just got a little bit left. You need to eat it even when you are shooting. Oh, man. God, you were doing that with the burgers too.

Like, because you were eating the same scene you were talking about with Colton. And they were like huge. You know, either they were like bacon cheeseburgers or like double cheeseburgers. And I think for the shot, you had had you you maybe bit it once or twice which would be like a quarter of the burger but even you telling me that night you were like yeah the probably I did the math and like just based on quarter of burgers I think I had five double cheeseburgers tonight. You had four or five. I asked Marcus to come over and tell us. You just kept you kept doing it like you just kept fucking eating it. And I regretted

it later like later that night that was a long night too. It was like, that was so long. I think, blah. Was that the same thing? Was that the same thing? Was that the same thing? Was that the same thing? Was that the same thing?

It was the same thing. It was that location where he was sick and he kept like trying not to shit himself. Yeah, to stick all the toilet paper in the back. Yeah, I have a photo of that. That was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. He just shot at him. He plugged his butt hole out. I don't even get a cheeseburger.

I don't think that was even part of you. No, I don't know. It was just said that you know, well, I don't want to ruin it for the movie, but he had there's a reason he can't eat his cheeseburger. But I would be curious to do with his butt. I don't want to know in front of an audience like this, but I would be curious to down with you and talk to you about the shorts because Colton, you're also one of the writers for key and peel.

Yes. I don't know how many people who are even familiar that you're in laser team knowton, you're also one of the writers for key and peel. I don't know how many people who are even familiar that you're in the relationship, know that you're on the right team. Yeah, well, this is not live, right? No, but at the time of recording this, it's going to have our season five final season key and peel from years to night. Oh, wow. Wow.

Wow. Congratulations. So instead of being there for the premiere, you're here with us. Instead of being in Los Angeles, that of at a premiere party in Hollywood, California, for your final season, hanging out in Austin, Texas, eating routies and I'm fine with it. I think that's a good trade off. Yeah, Colton's actually in town for a couple different things, but one of the things he's in town for is we're doing ADR, which I should know what that stands for, but I don't know. I don't know. I know what it is. I said I don't even know what it is.

It's audio direct recording. Yeah. Audio direct. I would say after after after. After don't do the recording. I've only heard of it as referred to as ADR and I've never. But occasionally we get lines like, especially in some action sequences that we have where, you know, somebody's dialogue doesn't get picked up perfectly. And so you just go back and you sit there and watching the movie and then you do your ADR.

So one of the last stages of the movie is doing ADR stuff. And Michael, we got to see some stuff today that was like, it was a blast to see that. Like also, for the first time, I saw finished visual effects in some scenes. I'm really excited. I haven't seen any of the movie. Really? Not a single scene. There's not a couple of test screens.

Test screening so far. Like there's some people out there that have seen it. I'm just kind of waiting for it to be final final. Like I have a habit of looking at stuff before it's finished and then it's not as cool when it's out. So with laser came I just want to see it when it's done. Yeah. What you were there for set for some stuff? I was on some of the coldest nights. Yeah. possible in the least amount of clothes. What is it? No, only internet slang came up for ADR and it means all do respect. I've never heard anybody call the town for all the respect. I just had to do some all do automatic automatic automatic automatic automatic dialogue replacement automatic wow I thought the word audio would be in

there for sure. I bet the second who's working on that is kind of pissed by that term. Yeah. It's like Fucking automatic my ass. Oh yeah. Gotta sit here recording shit. I mean, working dumb in night. Not a robot. I don't know. Oh, now we're making fun of the guy.

Don't worry. Oh, he knew it. He knew it. He knew it. So final season, the key in peel, huh? It's a, yeah, the final season, the key in peel. I mean, you never know what will happen in the future. But right now it's our final season.

And I like it. I was just teasing the background. I mean, you never know what will happen in the future, but right now it's our final season and We're just teasing the background Yeah, man super excited. We got some fun stuff coming out. We've already put out a few of the sketches a musical called Negro town That I wrote with a couple people is on YouTube. You can look at it and that'll be airing There's a great sketch that I wrote about a guy, a guy who is, he's hanging out with his girlfriend and as soon as she asks him to move, help her move, he breaks up with her. It's, I don't know why I think it was the funniest sketch. It's like my favorite sketch. It's, I'm so happy that that made it into the show this season. What's that process like? I mean, you go into a room and pitch ideas. How many, like,

people are in the writing team? We have, for this final season. What's that process like? I mean, you go into a room and pitch ideas. How many people are on the writing team? We have, for this final season, let's see, we had me, Phil Augusta Jackson, Becky Drysdale, Charlie Sanders, Alex Rubin, and Rich Tolerico, and then Jordan and Keegan also write, and then our showrunners, Jay Martell and Ian Roberts, also do some writing. So about 10 people in the room, but as far as writers, it's about five of us, six of us.

And the way we do our show, which is pretty similar how most sketch shows work, but we'll meet at the beginning of the day, like 10 in the morning, in a big room, and we have what we call dooky sessions where we float Duky. You say an idea for a sketch and that's your Duky and you see if it floats and it might be a big Duky, it might be a big idea, it might be a little Duky. She floated out. And then it moved.

I don't know what I don't do since like. Oh, Duky, man. I've never heard Duky before. You should usually grow up in Canada. Oh, okay, that makes sense. It's that's my skis for everything Yeah, well the weird also the weird thing with comes out like that in gummy bears the villains sidekick Always called him dookie really always would make me like he's calling him But But yeah, so we do that and We sort of pitch ideas out to each other and kind of bounce them back and forth.

First couple seasons, I live really close to where we were working, so I would walk or sometimes just take the bus, just straight down the sunsup boulevard to work. That's a bad. That was great, but what was really great about it is a lot of the characters from season one of Key and Peel are just people who are on the bus with me.

Yeah, I remember me mentioning that through laser team. Yeah, yeah. So a lot of those characters, the one character that never made it on because we didn't want to like be too mean. And this would have been a fat joke kind of thing. But one time I was on the bus. So this would be an example of like a duke. I'd be telling this story.

So yeah, I was on the bus. And there was this really big fat black woman sitting next to a very skinny Asian man, and in a conversation when I sit down, this is the part of the conversation I heard they heard. Well, if they gonna call it a Dorito, it should taste like a Dorito. She was talking about the Dorito taco.

Yeah, she was talking to you right there. She was talking to the Asian guy, and he was just like, not even. Yeah, that's like, that's so funny man, how do we make that into a sketch? She's talking right there. She's talking to the Asian guy and he was just like not So funny man, how do we make it into a sketch? We don't want to like, you know make fun of fat people So I but whatever but and you can't just start making fun of Doritos taco locos because they're you know pretty good Whether I never have one Can't just bring up products and just make fun of them on your show.

Yeah. You know what? We do it. OK, you should only like get the product to pull it off. Yeah, well, it's like, you know, we're not a high profile of some of the sub-situ teacher one. But you know, you guys, as popular as you are in comedy central, you guys also have like huge web hits.

Like the substitute teacher one is like, I thought the other day it was like, I think it was like 85 thought the other day was like 85 million. Yeah, I'm 25 million. They're right in a movie based off that character right now. Oh, wow. Where are you the basis for the Liam Neeson sketch? Yeah, they have a Liam Neeson sketch is based off of me coming into work after watching the gray and talk about.

It's awesome. I thought Liam Neeson was in it. The gray is a fantastic movie. Not to sidetrack you from your story, such a great such a good movie so it's a dudes movie told guy movie I liked it did you like it would I be able to sit next to a small child while I watch it no you'll be a you'll be a you'll be out of the theater okay but you came in after seeing the Gray and you were talking about Liam Neeson and the I'll tell him about how great he was and

that he you know how how he never get a statue Why didn't you know they're gonna be a statue? He say he was the greatest. No, stop it. Oh, no, he's a writer But uh, but yeah that worked out and then I actually met Liam Neeson's did you really? He's like you pluralizing his name. Sorry. This is how I say his name But that but then I met him because we did a promo video for Jason. I'm not even realizing his name. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, sketch for that like to promote based on the popular of the Liam. They saw that so the two Valets they're talking about this new movie non-stop with Liam Niesens and it's going to be so great and then Liam Niesens comes out and like walks out to get his car and they're like, oh, it's Liam Niesens and they freak out and then they explode.

But it was great. I got to meet him. Keith Hill was around the office. It was just an absolute favorite show. Like, I mean, people sharing clips, stuff like that. We were, you know, I'm actually starting here since final season, but I'm sure everybody's moving on to stuff.

Oh, yeah, we got a couple of movies that they're working on. So this is going to be, they'll be stuff. And you never know. We always make, we always make come back. Did you work on the sketch where it's the alien invasion and they're trying to determine who's an alien who's not uh... well i mean i have worked out on which one

it's a one where it's all the one where they're like running around the shooting people the right now but i remember that was the do get the that's philogus a jackson and or alix rubens uh... but uh... yet that's a great sketch that's a fun sketch and uh... my girlfriend at the time I actually got upset with me Because there's a white girl in it who talks about liking Tyler Perry a lot. Yeah, and My ex girlfriend was a white girl who liked Tyler Perry And so she was like did you put that in? I was like no, I didn't even write

No idea what I'm sure plenty of Wikols like Tyler Perry. Yeah, that's what I said, dude. I was like, plenty of Wikols like Tyler Perry. Let's break up. You probably, yeah. Also, I'm not gonna help you move. Just saying I'm not gonna help you move. Yeah, you made a really funny tweet one time.

I absolutely identified with it, which is like, his ex-girlfriend's a comedian to a standup comedian. And he's like, look, if you go to one of my ex-girlfriend shows and she's doing material about me, which I know she is now, don't fucking share it with me. I don't wanna hear about it. Somebody, because somebody did.

Somebody like texted me like, how do you know it was about you though? Did she say anything? What, she, yeah, oh, she was about me. Yeah, it was like, the joke was like, I just got through a breakup and here's why I didn't work out and you know maybe Tyler pair a single now I'm sure I'm sure she doesn't have a big enough dick for Tyler

no we can't talk about products but you know famous filmmakers totally but I totally relate with you on that it's like one of the tough things about, you know, especially dating people who are in the industry and who have an audience. It's like, when that's over, you gotta like step away from it, you know? Yeah, you know. You know, it's like, you see people that like,

I've seen people that have like broken up and continue to work together and I have a lot of respect for those people. Yeah, I think that's cool. That's, they can do that. I'm not interested in it, but they, it's like, you don't't share the information with me. I just don't want to know. You know, but it's also awesome.

Like that's what standups do. You know, like she's been, she was a standup long before we were dating. So, you know, she's going to, you know, that's standups have to use their personal life to get material. And I'm sure there's stuff in some of my writing that's going to be based off of you know our relationship. Sure. Let's tell us more. Tell us more. Tell us more. What went wrong exactly? These only turn into therapy sessions. It's cold. It's just how you feel about it. Just pull the reclining. I'm very happy. I have a new. I moved to a new house I'm renting a new house in Burbank, California. Burbank, huh?

Yeah, and it's pretty far north. I've always lived with roommates and so. Isn't that the best living room? Yeah, man. It's got a great, you know, turning a new page in my life. I got my own house. Just me and my dogs. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. that was a finger finger yes and yeah this is going to be a fun fact that'll be on the laser team trivia that I'd be I was crippled while making laser teams so like you see my hand right here and you don't look okay so look at this okay so now normally people can like do that that's that's why hand working correctly right but then this what's not it's not creepy it just won't it just doesn't close it's a little weird I think it's pretty legit so It just won't it just doesn't close I think it's pretty legit I can't close it. You know I could I could I could push it in and then try to So what did you do to do? It's pretty bizarre how it happened is there's two tendons that run along the top and the bottom of your

I can't even do there you go. I got it. That's it. I can do it too Wait, what it looks like I'm throwing the world's like lame as gangs. Yeah, it's a horrible gang. What the gang? What the gang? What the heck? What the heck? I'm going yours. What the heck?

You know what the sad fingers? Ah, ha ha ha. But yeah, what's up? What's up? Basically one of my tendons, the tendon that closes it this way. When I broke my finger, it tore off. Ah. You know, I just put it in a sling because I thought it was just broken

but because I didn't have them like doing MRI The tendon just kind of shrinks up and now the tendon's just like stuck in here And so I can't I think they can't fix it. They can't reattach it It's not even that gross. I'm just like really I I'm a little grossed out by stuff But I'm laughing in Andrew who's sitting over there who's like the biggest pussy when it comes to any other than my gun. He's like the biggest like bones and breaks and all that kind of stuff.

Yeah, come over here. Let's talk about my finger. And so the tendon is down here and it's like stuck and so that's also why my finger has a slight bend. It also looks a bit like swollen at the bottom. And it didn't happen. Yeah, that's the thing. It didn't happen. It didn yeah, that's the thing. It didn't happen.

It didn't happen on laser team per se. Right. The break did not happen. The break happened when my dog freaked out at the dog park and spun around and my finger got caught in the... I think you tried to grab the dog, right? Is it another dog? Yeah, there's somebody else's dog was acting crazy.

So I tried to grab my dog and get him away. And my dog was like, I don't want to go away. And he spun around, twisted my finger. And then when we were shooting, I slammed it into the wall. And that didn't help either. I was there. And yeah, you know, I mean, the only way I could have, it could be fixed. It would have been able to be fixed and be normal is if I would have gotten the surgery two days, three days after the injury and I wouldn't have been able to do that even if I knew that was the problem because we were shooting the movie. That's crazy. I took one for the team.

Hey Andy, how are you doing? Hello. Don't worry good. Don't worry good. Don't worry good until the last five minutes. Yeah, what's wrong? What's going on? You can't handle it?

No, no, it's all one of my phobias. It's pretty fucking gross. Oh no, it's gross. What's your smile like? No, I mean, ill all one of my bobi is it's pretty fucking gross No, I mean ill-specific bobi what was he ill pass out from I've done up before from what if you hear about bones tendons No, well you want to hear how they can fix it. Yeah, tell them tell them Andrew yeah, the way they can pick put the shot on Andrew. Yeah, the way that they could pull it up. Hold up. Oh, he's going to show you. Yeah, I'm just going to go over there.

He might pass out like 100% to you. Where you can fix it is they have to like do an incision right here. Yeah. And then pull the tendon out and just cut it off. And so it'll be outside of there. And the rest of my tendon is going to slowly over time just go back to my arm. Hey, Michael.

Hey, Michael. Yeah. Hey. Hey Michael. Yeah. So what's the warning sign with Andrew? Is the warning sign of his face gets redder or less red? It gets white. No, no, no, white. He'll get sweaty. He'll start like home.

He'll start and see what he's doing. What I'm doing right here with his shirt. See how he gets cold in his collar. I'm like, look at this. He got old-stay-doling. He's like, ooh. He's a Rodney Angelfield. You're starting your internship today, right?

Monday. Monday. I'm just here for VK for three. What the fuck you hear for, then? Why you at the office? What kind of vacation is this? He's coming to chief for one of his life socks. This is a vacation.

This is his vacation is start work early. Exactly. This guy called, and this is the reason why Michael can't come to Comic Con to promote laser team with us. He's here because of Andy. I never said that. He said that. And I didn't. You don't need to say it. Michael said it. They say the will talk to you when we want to talk to you. Don't worry about it.

I'll loop you in. But no, what was what were you watching Andrew? You were watching some show. I think it was like a Tosh.poin O or something like that and you passed out. First of all, on the couch. Why were you watching? He's a lunatic. You're on the internet. Why would you fuck? It was like just four years ago. It was like season two. This you you're on the internet. Why would you stop? It was like season two this girl was jumping on the trampoline like her leg snaps Yeah, see it's not that crazy. It's pretty fucking gross. What broke her thigh? I don't know. It's like The arm you know the difference from the thigh and the rest of the leg That's what I Was playing the scenario what happened? Tibia

Yeah, you're tibia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, one of our talents like walk us through your experience of you passing out What happened like you saw you knew it was gonna happen or what I was sitting down at home So it wasn't that it wasn't that bad. I passed out in the chair and I woke up like I don't know Three or four seconds later. It wasn't that bad But every single time I passed out I the chair and I woke up like, I don't know, three or four seconds later, it wasn't that bad. But every single time I passed out, I always like dream about serial characters, like cartoon serial characters, like from like, the tricks rap and a lucky charm.

Weird, I don't know, yeah. Like, break the serial character. Yeah, exactly. What? In middle school. That's the weird dude. In middle school. Shut up.

I'm pretty shut up. Sorry, you shut up. Oh man. Oh man. Fucking lot of balls for an intern that haven't started yet. Little respect. So, a lot of it. In middle school, we were watching this movie. It was in health class, and it was about how to fix a broken spine in the 60s.

He was like, I don't know. He was like, he was like, spread out, whatever. So I knew I was going to pass up because I had passed out two months ago and health class. I'm just keeping them on their toes, I'm gonna make sure they know what they're doing. So I passed out in health class the first time in September. It was like the second week of school. Passed out, fell back in my chair, shot back up, almost headbutted the teacher.

But you caught out of the way in time. I had actually, I had to go to the hospital. Because you hit your head with a hand. Yeah, I have my head back. Yeah, and then I had to go to the hospital. Has anyone ever gotten caught in like a weird loop where it's like you pass out because of something gross but then you break something and you wake up and see it and pass out?

I have never broken a bone. You know, you're a 200 and 6th step. An absolute fear of mine if I ever break a bone. Because I don't know. It's either they're going to cure me of it or I'm just broken a bone. You're a 200 and a half absolute fear of mine if I ever break a bone. I don't know, it's either gonna cure me of it or I'm just gonna die. It'll cure you of it. That's what he keeps saying.

He's like, No, I mean, he'll break his bone and he's just like, he can't live with his life because of his broken bone. And he'll just die. How? Like that's just his analogy. But it is also like, it's not just hearing

or seeing broken bones. It's also if someone's in like an arm sling. Oh yeah, like I've seen somebody recovering from a broken bone. Yeah, that's just as gross to me. Yeah, it's pretty good. Someone with like a... Someone with like a... Can't say.

Somebody with a broken, like seeing a woman's leg break, everybody is like... That's put off by that. Yeah. But just seeing somebody in a sling. Can't do it. You need to imagine what they're doing. You don't know how I'm not only that I don't know what cocoa Chris

Chris You got to figure it out Look at you're not only that but he can deal with the sound effects of it Like he doesn't like the word snap no or crack Like Get there from that Yeah That's what it is snap crack a pop

Yeah Do you ever dream about them when you wake up from no never the rise crispy guys always tricks rabbit or lucky charms. Oh weird. Okay. Yeah. They were for the lucky charm. Very specific. The leprecha. Yeah. The actual cereal. And you're around. And I'm gonna I'm gonna let you know something here. Your health class that day. Yeah. There is no thing on the syllabus for fixing people who have a broken spine I've ever been taught that in first aid. Have you ever taught that? What they were training the kids on that day was how to revive someone who's passed out. Yeah, so they said let's just show the fucking broken spine video to Andy Well, let him pass out

We'll show the kids what to do. That's exactly what happened. That's a 12 year old like listen kid If you symbol the broken spine, do this. When you start to feel it. It's clear out. That was the second time I passed out with this broken spine video, and I knew it was coming. So I excuse myself, walked the bathroom, watched them, I get some cold water on my face.

I passed out and I hit my head on the urinal. Oh, I woke up. Peaky in your head. Look at my own blood. And I just was in such a days, I walked back to class sat back in my seat with blood pouring on my head I was like I had it accident and then that was all I remembered and then I passed out again And then I called the ambulance and then I got right away and I got 13 stitches on my forehead If I if I cut myself like a knife I wash my hands for 20 minutes. If I cut myself on a urinal,

I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to bubble around my head. Cover yourself and ask it. I don't know if it was like another production going on and the end of that story, Andrew goes, and I got 13 stitches. And then I just got someone laughing.

Yeah, just laughing. Just that someone. Yay. 13 stitches. I have a scar on my forehead, which I don't think you can really see anymore. It's like this long though Yeah, I'll do like that so you can see a little better

So by that long and it's a that was nine stitches for me to get that one so 13 stitches I got 12 outside and then one inside I know they were on your brain To be fair clone they try to fix it while they're Weird a little bit well that is awesome. Well, I hope you get better We're trying to fix it while they're in here. We might as well see it. This is just weird. Little bit. Well, that is awesome. Well, I hope you get better. People will never get better. Yeah.

Hey, you know what though? While you're going to be staying with me for the next six weeks, let's break a bone here. Oh, yeah, dude. We'll go and talk to that. I'll film it. Just don't do what Mike the intern did. Jump over your own leg.

We do that. And maybe you could somebody do that and break their leg? No, I'm not. You can easily break something by doing that. it's a Gavin. Gavin tries to get this to do it all the time because he can do it. I see people do it. It's like the ultimate trick to watch someone fuck themselves up. Yeah, just like broker finger. Yeah, Griffin. Yeah, Griffin broker finger. And it says Gavin was like, do it. Yeah, there's a video You ever see that

Oh, yeah Who's that it's McCulloch and it's a lot of what an Elijah yeah, yeah, I if I had to make the choice My drop Gavin off a cliff just saying it okay, just like You were the other guy who left for I'm not gonna admit that I would commit a murder I was it was a murder was like save Gavin or save the other I see all I see all that's like the end of the movie that was the choice. Yeah, I mean Sophie's choice because it was her son right like the good son was her son and the good son was the bad son And then the other kid was what it was like his cousin or something like that?

Was her nephew or something? Yeah, but he was he was chill.. Yeah, he was chill. He had a little bit of a kid died. But Collie Culkin was not great. He did stuff in that movie too, which actually takes place in Austin now. He did, I think, where he threw like a dummy over the- Oh, God. Express it over. Overpass?

There's people in Austin. It's terrible. They take rocks and they throw them over the overpass on the cars going by. Well, I think it's one person. I think it's one person, too. Dude, I have never been pro putting up cameras to catch crimes. That's put up the cameras. And let's let's cover those overpass.

I guess you're about that crazy new stuff that they got. Hey, well, by the way, Andy, thank you for stopping by. Hey, thanks. Appreciate it. Yeah, don't pass out. You hear excuses. You must have, you must have looked like a baseball with 13 stitches on your head. Dude, Dave, before he starts work, he tells the boss that he's done. But there was this. I think it might have been on this American life

or one of those, you know, one of those intellectual shows. But they were talking about this program called, I forget what it's called, Angel Watch or something, that they have in Iraq and in the Middle East, where a plane flies above a city and takes a full picture of the city every second. And the reason that they started doing it is to find out what where improvised like roadside bombs were coming from.

So they'll, what they do is they just fly around and then they get a report of a roadside bomb. They go back through the photos, they find the place where they find the explosion and then they just go backwards in time until they can find who the person is set it up and then where they came from. And so then they started using that and just like flying over and flying over and starting using it like fine people. But then they trotted in a trial. I believe like in Cleveland, Ohio or somewhere and they like were able to find, but it was it was that it was just it was that. It was just basically some plane flying above the city, taking a picture every second.

And so, so a crime go nine one one call goes in, you know, a guy was just shot. They can find they can see where the gunshot goes off. Then they can follow the guy back to his car, see where he came from, then then go forward and time see where he went. That's like minority reports. It's crazy. It's it's coming. I mean, that's a big photo to be able to zoom in that much.

Well, the plane they can go overhead like a satellite would be really tough, but there's satellites, apparently military satellites that can read the print on a nickel on the ground. I mean, I'm sure it's extrapolated and making an enhancement or whatever. Right. But they weren't the nickel filter. Yeah. I think that's what's going to, you Basically, I think that's what's gonna, I think that's what's gonna lead to more cameras

is just gonna be crimes like that. These like random crazy crimes where it's like, all right, we gotta catch this guy. I wanna hear your thoughts on that because we grew up without cameras. I wanna hear your thoughts on that second. But first I wanna say thanks to alpha brain by on it. Alpha brain is an all natural supplement

that has been clinically shown to help the body improve memory, focus, processing speed and flow state. Gus takes Alphabane religiously and has ever since they first started sponsoring our podcast. So I actually have a quote I'm going to read for Gus. I do my best. Gus Melting keyboards. This is my Gus impression. 13 years in the making. I know Alpha Brain definitely helps me focus more and Better balance the many tasks I face every day whether it is organizing a large event He does that create chatting on a podcast or taking video games to the next level. What? Gus Gus thinks video games on the next level

I'm definitely on top of my game with Alpha Brain. I think that's a very accurate depiction of Alpha Brain But a very accurate depiction of Alfa Brain, but a very poor depiction of God's. The next level is just one more level. Also a sub-study of the Alfa Brain Cyclo trial showed after a single dose of Al brain you could improve reaction time in pressing a button by 25 milliseconds over a placebo alpha brain gaming and this is so awesome. Alpha brain gaming will be at this year's RTX and they are offering a chance for you and a friend to win an all expense excuse me an all expenses paid trip to attend RTX this year in Austin. Answer to win at alpha brain gaming.com slash RTX. I do that.

That's alpha brain gaming.com slash RTX. I do that. That is all expenses paid trip. They'll get you there, get you into the show. I don't know what else they've got in it, but it's like it's while you're here. I seem hotel traveling. I would do that, but I think that this should like,

they should not sell this to younger kids so that I can catch up with their hand. Right. I'm telling you right. They're good enough already. Yeah. I was talking to some esports guys and there's like they're considered old men in esports when they're like 22. Yeah. They age out so fast in esports. It's crazy. Well, isn't the average age at mind con like 12. Oh, let me just. No problem. Probably younger than that. Mind con probably closer to the man. Matt and Jeff went to Mankan, Matt Bragg. It's you. Speaking of Jeff.

Oh, is it Jeff right there? Jeff, you want to come talk to us about Mankan? Hey, do you guys get freaked out by the way, when there's a mic right over there? If you want to join in, you get to be in front of the patch set. You can walk in front of the camera, Jeff. Nobody deal. That's your stuff.

Fine, that's fine. Right there. The, the, he might not tell you to show us. Whenever I see like posts or form form discussions about Matt I always get so confused because they're talking about Matt Bragg more typically because he appears on camera a lot right but I always associate than he Matt with Matt Holm is crazy all right Jeff what was hi Jeff all right we get you beer that's on that's on games this is part of my job

like I said I watched I watched every russenth video in one day. So I knew he was gonna ask for a beer. I'm looking for more beer. Yeah, Colton said that. By the way, Jeff is a huge key in peel fans. Oh, I never was. Aren't you right? I'm like the world's biggest key in peel fans. Yeah, so people always say that, right? I'm the world's biggest blank, but I am. No, no, he absolutely is like Colton was the inspiration for the Lee and Neeson sketch because he came in saying Lee and Neeson's one day Yeah, no, my God. Oh, me that's all right. I need to know his sketch right yeah, I did pretty funny What's up? Which one comedy? It's it's called noise and it's there's it's like you know

And then when they have like dance circles and there's you know, I know these dance movies There's people like doing moves, but there's always this like one guy who's not a dancer But who's just off to the side? He's always like noise And he like calls out like when somebody does a cool move and so Jordan and I were talking one day like oh What if there was another guy who's also calling out the nice moves and then kind of they Sort of like have a connection and it's like hey, man You got to leave because I'm the guy says noise in this dance crew and then he leaves, but then he starts feeling lonely because he got rid of the only guy that he, you know, ever had

a connection with. And he's like throwing up gang signs. And he throws up his tiny little finger. Sad finger. Uh, yeah. So it's a, you know, wonderful story. I did. I could feel bad that you've seen all of our sketches and somehow I missed that one.

But Jeff went over to London. He went to Mankind. Do you know what Mankind is? It's Minecraft. I would imagine it was a Minecraft image. So what was Mankind like, Jeff? Can I say first, you guys haven't let me be on the podcast in five years.

You're so full of stuff. And I have to follow that fucking berry-faced retard. How's that fair? Andrew? I'm a copar, I wrote this goddamn company, I got all of it. What is the last 13 years been for? We want to welcome Jeff back to the podcast, true. He was sitting there, Jeff. What the mess?

You haven't been sitting there. It's true. He was waiting for his turn. I wait. You know broken bones came. Jeff, we almost made him pass out it was it we were i i walked in at the tail end of that now i'm gonna tell him my thumb story when we look when we get off set oh that's a terrible one for him yeah to go

that's a certain integral no you want to know about minecon yeah what do you know all of it he was talking about the demographic you know i there's a something that happens with um... you know it's irid comments sometimes and like people get like really like upset or cringy about like other people's events, like live events, people get upset about it.

But I always find like when people have that cringy effect, it's gotta be like some kind of expression of like low confidence on their part. Did you, when you went to my con, did you have a good time, was it a fun event? I blasted. Yeah, I mean, I've got some segments of your panel and they seem like they were great. Yeah, yeah. That's a great story. That's a blast dude. Yeah, I mean I've got some segments of your panel and they seem like they were great

Fucking first off minecraft was illuminating from a businessman standpoint because I had no I knew the the game had skewed younger But I had no fucking clue that the average age of a Minecraft fan is like seven years old Yeah, it was like it was like stampy was there and he was like he's like the new Barney Or like it was like a Wiggles concert. It was fucking bizarre. Oh, well, I think you way to put it Yeah, it was like a Wiggles concert. It really was it was really an English name is stampy stampy long No, stop it nice kid though. I'm that him. He's a big Artie. Stabby long nose. They're long He's got to be like 22 23. Oh, they're all you guys the guys you haven't heard him Colton He's enormous online. I mean he has so many viewers one of which is Jeff's daughter who watches him and not Jeff stuff

Yeah, I got some interesting input on that too, but uh, that's tampery. Yeah I actually know the character but not the dude I know that that orange character is like the Minecraft dude It just makes like very kid-friendly videos that Jeff's got is very Barney like like hello kids What would you like to do today? He's like that's the Million of the pre-kale like every know. Every video with like, remember kids, each of your fruits and vegetables, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. I know, because I hear 24 goddamn hours a day in my house.

Sorry about that. But, yeah, no, it's alright. Anyway, nice kid. But, yeah, I don't know, it was cool. It was interesting, I learned a lot that I didn't know about the direction Minecraft is heading. They're very focused on getting in in classrooms and using it as a social tool and an educational tool.

Yep, they had people from the fucking UN get up and talk about Minecraft and how they're using it and developing nations and stuff. Like it was really weird, and interesting. And I just, I mean, and I'm thinking like that whole time like the guy from the UN is doing that thing, I'm thinking about the time the Gavin and I made a glory hole. You know, you stick your dick in the hole

and it punches you in the dick and kills you. Or the sheep anus. Yeah, or like the new company. The operating sassiness. You're gonna get the whole and it punches you and the dick and kills you or the sheep anus Operating Jack have a dick and one of them to He Jack Jack has a statue of him with his dick and then if you hit a button his dick shoots lava out Right it depends we alternate it we go back for it right that was what it depends we alternate it would go back for it's like just where face you the phone is the phone you think about the mind-con to me is we were very last minute additions right and so they said hey we had somebody

drop out do you guys want to come in uh... we're all big achievement hundred fans received fans of course uh... yada yada so uh... it's a fuck it yeah we'll go uh... and i brought Matt bragg because he's our mind-craft guy and nobody else was available and that was a very good because he's our Minecraft guy and nobody else was available. And Matt was available. And I brought him because he's our Minecraft guy and every single other person said no first. Reasons are no particular order.

And they said, yeah, we want you to do a panel and I said, yeah, sure. And they said, all right, we got this 500 person room. Can you do that? And I was like, yeah, no problem. We're happy to do it. And they said, hey, we'd like to bump you up to a thousand person stadium, theater, whatever.

And I said, yeah, yeah, that's no problem. We can do that. And I didn't realize at the time, it was way too late to change the literature. And so the room they gave us was meant for another group of minecraftors who appealed to four-year-olds. Sure, that makes sense. And so we were not in the literature in any capacity whatsoever for minecraft. So I kept running into people that are like, the fuck are you doing here? And I was like, oh, I'm doing acon. So I kept running into people that were like, what the fuck are you doing here? And I was like, oh, I'm doing a panel.

So the day of the panel, I just walked around and I was like, if I can talk to at least 10 people, there'll at least be 10 people in the audience, hopefully. And then the day before, I should preface it with this. The organizers came by, very nice people, very awesome people, and they go, hey, you probably know this, we don't need to tell you this, but you know, my andcon is a very family friendly event

and achievement 100 and Roostery, they're not super family friendly, so just keep that in mind when you're doing your panel that's going to be live streamed on Twitch to like every kindergartener in the world. And I was like, yeah, that's probably fine, no problem. So we go and we go to our panel and it's this thousand person theater and

We're behind the stage as you do and We it's like six o'clock so we walk out to our airline panel and I look at the audience There's about 800 people in the chairs and it's fucking crickets and tumbleweeds and I go That's kind of interesting, you know, I'm not to seem like egotistical But usually when we like appear, at least somebody's like, oh, there's those dudes that we know that we came to sit down.

Oh, you mean when you walked out? Yeah, when we walked out. On top of that, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is just quiet. It was just like, fucking, I got hit with a tumblebee. It was weird. And, uh, those are really usually very fun moments, that we're standing back to,

as a big panel like Pax. You know, that like is going to be on our Pax Prime panel, right? Aren't you? Yeah, we're talking about it. Yeah, that's a lot of fun. But I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, I'm talking talking about. And I thought, huh, well, that is interesting. So, Matt and I walk up on stage and I sit down and it's still very quiet. And I thought, huh, that is also interesting. So, I grab

a microphone and I thought, it's his time to be humble. So, I said, hey, my name's Jeff. This is Matt. We're from a company called Ruestra Teetheth and we make cartoons and we play video games and be out of Yada and 200 people stood up and left and I didn't know why and I thought well that was weird and I said All right, that's cool. I thought it was Matt Holm. That's what they all said. Yeah, and so I and so I said Typically when we do these events we prepare some special videos for you guys We have some cool stuff to show you that but because we're last minute very last minute We didn't we didn't we weren't did have time to them to like prepare anything So I thought we would just do like an intimate Q&A where we you asked me some questions I see some questions

We have fun. We all become friends another hundred people got up and left Who are these people well? I'll get there so I go I and I go well this is this is interesting And I look over a mat and that looks Ashen we always does he looks extra And then I realized and I realized that has never done a panel before And I looked at my left and there's nobody over there and I go all right Well, this is gonna be some heavy lifting. Yeah, not a problem. We've been doing this for 13 years. We can do this right So I give a little spiel we take the first question the first question is the douchebag and bunny rabbit ears All right, well, this is gonna be some heavy lifting. Yeah. Not a problem. We've been doing this for 13 years. We can do this, right?

So, I give a little spiel. We take the first question. The first question is the douchebag and bunny rabbit ears who does the capa and the chat. Oh, that was the first guy? Very first question. Oh, I'm sorry. So we had to deal with that.

And Colton, if you don't know what this is, I apologize. There's this meme, like troll thing you do on Twitch where you, I don't know why, but you tell people to spam capa. That's a dude. I don't even know what it means. They're showing the dude right here, Jeff. Oh, yeah, little, why, but you tell people to spam Kappa. I don't even know what it means. They're showing the dude right here Jeff.

Oh yeah, that little shit fuck. And so, he gets up and he says, it's my birthday. Everybody say Kappa in the chat, and everybody just looks on why he's an idiot. So he says it again. And it's meant to, because the show was being streamed through Twitch, it's meant to cause disruptions.

He's gonna be waving them off, get outta here. Does he go, can't he? He was a real, he was a real stream by Twitch. Yeah, like, he does the thing, like, he's like, you're a cool, you're a noise guy. He comes up and says, everybody say Kappa and he starts the chant, Kappa, Kappa, and then nothing from the people in the audience.

And he's like, oh, you guys are the worst. So he, like, that's the first guy. And he's alienating the audience from your being a guy. He's traveling the world. No, and he's alienating the audience of your man guy all Traveling the world. No cap is a thing they do on Twitch and he's just trying to capitalize So he's just a guy trying to get them right? So we survived that and I think all right, well, it can't be worse than this Next guy comes up, and I'm kind of paraphrasing because I don't really it was things were a blur at this point

Uh, and he goes hey, I just want to say I like the channel blah blah blah you guys have provided a lot of entertainment anyway I don't I don't like that you guys are making a new YouTube channel I'm not gonna subscribe so I'm not gonna watch content anymore anyway have a good time. I'll enjoy what I watch in the past I I missed all of this. Yeah, so I go all right. That's interesting then I look at the audience I think it's okay. Can you be okay? That we punch people in the face that that I didn't what he's like but there was gonna be another we lost a new achievement Our channel so it's cost some controversy because people are stupid, but People understand common sense things that makes sense, but so Definitely dramatic return to the received

So from that point on it goes incredibly well like I you, you know, you start doing those little tricks you learn, like you answer every question with a question, you know? Like what are the three hardest achievements to get in Minecraft? And you're like, what do you think the three hardest achievements to get in Minecraft are? And they're like, oh, and you're like, not so easy is it? And you go through that whole thing and I get really verbose. And things start to recover, and it's actually going pretty well,

and Matt gains a little bit of color, and he's fine. And these are going well, I don't know and it's actually going pretty well and Matt loses he gains a little bit of color and he's fine and And these are going well. I don't know. It's fine and then at one point somebody asks But I'm looking I have my phone out with a timer. Let me know how much time I got a kill I've got like 38 minutes left and somebody asks what in what what entails making an episode of Reversus blue Which I haven't done in six years, but I I remember the process, because we invented it, right? So I go, oh, this is a softball. Like, I can talk about this for 20 minutes. So I get really long on how to make an episode of Reversus Blue.

And at some point I go, and then you know, and I'm getting to the audio portion, like you get into the booth and you record a line, like if it's griff, I go son of a bitch or whatever, and you keep going, and as soon as I get the words out of my mouth, I get a text, and then another text. And I'm like, that's odd. And it's from a British number.

I don't know anybody from England, except for that douche cabin. And so I flip it and I look and it's like, what are you doing? This is going out to everybody in the world. You've got to stop swearing. You're ruining minecon. And I'm like, oh, really? So then I forgot. Yeah.

So I forgot. I said son of a bitch was a bad deal, I guess. So then I had to remember to go super family friendly, which we're really good at So that was easy. Yeah, wow from PG 13 to like PG 7. Yeah, exactly. So it was like Peggy 4 So International audience. Yeah, so well we were in England right so anyway, they put a text to you and said you're ruining So anyway, this person texted you and said you're ruining my country. Yeah, they did.

It's so brilliant. Well, shit. Stop. I'm going to text them while he's still the B-Warp. Also, and by the way, I don't even think that I don't even think the word bitch is a swear word. No, not at all. I think it's like, they say that. I think it's like, I'm a bitchy-o-serial and it's the reference.

The last two videos that Jeff's been on the Bruce Lee's channel, he took his dick out in one and he talked to with his wife about taking a dildo in the ass. Did you take your dick out? Oh, I wasn't out. Oh, he was talking about the one where my wife Peter Pants. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I did take my dick out in a really fun way. I was talking about the rain run.

Yeah, I did that. You know, I did the other day, the day Gavin left town. He had a conference call this Samsung or something. And he was in his little office. And so this is, I'm sorry, this is an aside. You don't have to diminish his office. And so I just took my dick out and I smashed it against the window The glass and I kept knocking on it until he turned around and he got so fucking angry That can take business very seriously

So I opened the door because I wasn't getting the reaction I want and I just stuck my dick on the table He was he was having a time this is the best show ever from behind like I got to witness all this without seeing Jeff's dick Like I'm watching him stand up against the door and as he's doing he's going Like and I mentioned this to him anytime like his dick or like his nuts come out and it's always At Gavin like to like scare him off some Gavin's like no work out. He's like stop. Well. They lived together for like seven years Whenever that happens Jeff's noise for that is Always take it out the cabinet blanket

Just chase him around with it No, good on her it was smashed up against the glass. He was fine. Okay, anyway, so mine comes great I was super professional and I saved it Matt Bragg was also present And so Why did all those people leave at the beginning so oh I found out later sorry? Yeah The caveat is I found out later I put two into it together They thought I was some I was like some Wiggles-esque like

Content creator for like seven year olds.olds with their first fucking herd of us. I don't know the name, but apparently the guys are super shitheads. Like, apparently they had the organizers, I don't want to call anybody out, but apparently the organizers had tons of trouble within the entire event. And yeah, they just didn't show, and so we filled in. And although there was a bunch of like sad seven-year-old kids

who were expecting to see Raffi or whatever. They got you in the car, and they get- They got us out of the bitch. Yeah, and they got the untalented white Chris Rock or whatever. And then the flight home Jeff had to be moved to a different seat. Because he was sitting next to him. Right. Well, because he was sitting next to Matt.

Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately, I just said, next to Matt. Cold was actually surprised that when Andy was on the mic, that Andy's starting his internship and he told me to shut the fuck up. And so we said shut up. You had shut up.

We said shut up. I did. I took it. You said shut up. I did I did You guys want me I could de-entern them go go really? Yeah Jeff is this boss. Yes, technically. Yeah We just made it. I'll see we are the org chart on the goddamn head of gaming. We got we got a game charge of fun house Gotta find a way we gotta find a way to have don't say stuff like org chart Yeah, we gotta find a way to make and he passed out at some point so easy so easy how you feel about the idea did so do anything to him not that great this environment is such that like

like jeff presiding is genitals up against glass to gavin's office there was a time when they did this live event uh... earlier this year in february and they were all out of the office and colton i legitimately thought about this this was a thing where i was like walking in a set stop in thought about it for more than thirty seconds i was late the day i'd go to the bathroom and take a poop

and i literally stopped by the chief of office go there's nobody in here it could be more than that i have a micol i legitimately thought about poop and i gathered it's funny for a long time for a good thirty seconds that crossed my mind, Colton. But as a professional, I didn't do that.

I know that you made that choice. That was a very good, good, good, good, good. Here's the problem. Yeah, it's a problem. From ever coming back to work. The reason Bernie probably didn't do it, no camera. Yeah, right. You guys have footage out of it.

You gotta go with it. Actually, I went through, I have a good ability to look through to the end of the things and then I realized that We were moving in two weeks. No, I had the feeling you're moving out of that place But you guys I calculated them out of time that the poop would be in there before you guys got back And it was like 18 hours and it would make that office like un inhabitable So bad news. We got in hard and like you'd have to like try to scrape it off You're each appointed overturned for removing that stuff as if's a Friday and so they would have gone all weekend. Yeah, that would just

What of what would have been rough would have been rough. Well Jeff. Thank you for telling us about my con. Yeah, all right I'll see you guys in five years. I'm really tired of you being on the podcast though. Can you please take the fuck out of here? I have overstayed my will Get the fuck out of here. I have overstayed my wall. I'm just gonna take Michael's seat now. He's off. But you can actually, the cheap amount are in a way it kind of has the room podcast now where they do Sunday driving, which I'm a big fan of and they should do more Sunday

drives. Jeff, do more Sunday driving just after you crossed the for the cake. He just pulled his dick out. Hey Patrick, how are we doing on time? Because I don't even know when we started. We have seven minutes left. We have seven minutes left. I should probably read our last ad read, huh? All right, this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by Squarespace

Squarespace is the all-in-one platform that helps you build a beautiful website presence Squarespace is proud to announce a partnership with Vulcan to launch deckmasters a heartstone Tournament streaming live via twitch deckmasters has a hundred thousand dollar prize pool and the round robin begins June 22nd and continues every Monday, Tuesday and Friday until July 17th you can watch the stream at twitch.tv slash Vulkan that's VULCUNHS like high school that's V-U-L-C-U-N-H-S like high school. That's twitch.tv slash V-U-L-C-U-N-H-S. Man, a hundred thousand dollar prize pool to play a video game.

But you switch one vowel in the word deck masters and you got a whole other. I'll enter that competition. I'll enter all of that. Like deck musters? So I was like, yeah. Like, don't fasters. But man, my parents, when I was growing up,

whenever I was playing video games, they were like, stop doing that. Like Michael was saying, get out of the house. Where did Michael go, by the way? I think he probably went to the bathroom. He's the worst. I talked about pooping in there. He had to go poop.

He had to go. He was talking about it. Andy, what are coming in and sit in for a Michael? That'd be the best thing ever. Oh, yeah, you're a chance. And then Mike, when Mike comes back and sees you, Michael comes back and sees you. He's gonna fuck the world with you out of that chair. I know he's gonna do it when he comes back. All right, so when I was getting grown up, the cold, my parents were like, get off those video games, get out of the house. And it's like my whole career now has been based on video games. I can't imagine if there was a fucking

And it's like my whole career now has been based on video games. I can't imagine if there was a fucking $100,000 prize pool like what that would mean. That's so crazy. Yeah, I've just been my entire like every day learning how to play that I mean, there's probably there must be parents out there that are making their kids get good at video games You know what? Oh my god. I'm a small game right was MLB the show or talking to your mic? You're looking at me The MLB the show game or the M.O.V. game the M.O.V. game that baseball game was it is like if you poured like if you played a perfect game like you struck every better out I don't know a lot of a baseball oh yeah you said that if you picked a perfect yeah that's a perfect game you got like a million dollars yeah yeah oh Michael that's

not wait a second there There's two Michaels. It's bad news. You've been in a place. I have everybody. I get rolled. I get rolled. Hey Andy, you know my favorite part of baseball is you ever see when a picture like throws the fastball like a 90 mile fastball and it catches a batter like you right on the end of the elbow and snaps their into their elbow off. That's horrible. That breaks like three bones at once, dude. It's pretty bad. It's pretty bad. Shut up, fuck you. I don't know

what else can I ask you. Seriously, super excited to start work on Monday though. Love, thanks you so much for the opportunity. Before he even started work, he let everybody know his biggest weakness. Right. That's a problem. Ruchim is saying. Even bigger weakness than that, he needs this internship to graduate college You told us that Barrel dude, it is true whether he tells us or not. He told me that's amazing. You're a great friend You steal a little bit we can do whatever we want to you is basically what that means Andy We can do whatever we want to you is basically what that means Andy. That's what that means

You buddy you got way more Moving on people's desk. Yeah, who do you think cleans up that poop? It's like I just want to joke Andy get in here with the kit and the face deal with the kid. I'm the kid. I'm the kid. Check your eyes for herpes, man. I actually, there's another group that's online that this gameplay stuff. They're called the creatures. And one of my favorite videos that I did is they got this spray that smells like ass.

And I went, I laughed so hard watching their videos with that that I went and got like, I got vomit spray. I got vomit spray and I got ass spray. The ass spray's been in the kitchen now for like three months I know I listen this is it's gone the supreme recorded so we'll be okay but I'm going there right after this I've actually been thinking about this right it's Michael it's right over the sink go for it do you know what I'm learning a lot right now just raw ass straight up just like raw swamp. Yes

Like if there was shit on a desk that'd been sitting there for a week, but I got Gavin so good with the vomit stuff It was on this podcast actually where there was a point time when I had a bunch of all that I had a bunch of cologne It smelled like stuff like I had a sawdust cologne and a grass It was smell like green grass clone and I talked Gavin. He made my mind about all those clones It's smell like green grass and so I just I love those Yeah, I got this new one and he leaned in I sprayed it. I sprayed it right in his face I go they make one now that's what I got candy and I sprayed it and he goes and I go But that's not this one this one smells like vomit and Gavin with his gag reflex. He almost I thought he was gonna lose it

He flipped over the couch back Oh He flipped over the couch back. Oh, you're nervous. Oh, that, I was just like, I'm really confused. Oh, you're nervous. Barbara's getting nervous. Barbara, you were talking to my low-way. I didn't know you were going to spray it across my head. I had to leave because it smelled so bad.

You were going to wear it like this. It smelled bad. Yeah, he's not great. Like, that smell also traveled like crazy. That's also what those bean bag chairs over there smell like. Like essence of that. There's some bean bag chairs over there. Really?

Marcus was talking about like what chairs to get as you were setting up for Barbara and I, like your chairs were in place. Yeah. And I said jokingly, well, I choose a bean bag and he goes, actually, we have bean bag chairs over here and he's walking over there and I'm like, oh yeah. And as I'm jumping, he's like, yeah, they don't smell good though. Like I jump into it, hit and it was like oh yeah and as I'm jumping He's like yeah, they don't they don't smell good though like I jump into it hit and it was like you hit But then that air is like oh

smell it and I was like oh This smells like shit. It smells like a pile of feces like someone vomited on a pile of shit And then wrapped a fabric around it and called it a bean bag. Yeah, it's fucking out How did you jump on it face first or or back first? Back first, thankfully. It was like, it was like, it's like, it's like, yeah. It's like, like, farts, over time. This is fucking terrible.

These are brand new ones. Are they? No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not a fart thing. It's like a, it's like a material thing. Like someone like the fabric was made out of someone's ass hole. You guys gave me a great idea for a million dollars butt question, so you gave me a great idea for a million dollars butt question

So you gave me great. Oh, you're welcome. What's my cut? We do we do I feel weird because I have this obligation now to end the podcast I'm usually on the person who does everything is powered to not end the podcast Oh, like 15 seconds now, but we got cold and we have to cool because the set because we're gonna go film a special episode of Million dollars butt with cold love the premises Are you serious? I'm looking forward to what colds happen is all right. Well, hey, thanks so much for having me guys Hey, thanks for coming to listen to the RT podcast Yeah, any you want to say go fuck yourself to me one more time before we quit All right, you'll fuck yourself. How about that? All right. Thanks everybody for everybody for watching I love you I like you a lot There we go. There we go.

There we go. We used to date broadcast. I'm going to come over here now. We still listening to broadcast. Podcast. Yeah. Describe the show between newcomer and a more familiar way. Do you like Apple?

Yeah. Yeah. Describe the show between newcomer and a more familiar way. Do you like Apple? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Describe the show between newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples?

Example. Together in trepid hosts, Characombs, Characombs are free of Diaz of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teats, cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify

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