Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Sibling Situation – #376

Episode Date: May 17, 2016

RT Discusses Aaron’s Brother Lynn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnet and Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnet, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now, only on peacock Hello everyone welcome to our podcast this week brought to you by Warby Parker Blue apron and Harry's three wonderful sponsors for one wonderful podcast. Thank you our sponsors I'm Gus. I'm Brandon. I'm Aaron. I'm Chris and I'm Gus I was really concerned when we walked out here that Chris had a giant glass of tequila What are you drinking? Please tell me that that's not just straight tequila this no, I did have because I had a bottle It was big Tell me that that's not just straight to Keela. This, no, I did have, cause I had a bottle.

It was bigger than before. That's why I thought it was Keela. So it's like, oh yeah, yeah. So it's to Keela and Red Bull. Is it like half and half? Cause I was, that glass is full. I'm not sure the exact mix, but it's like, that doesn't sound very good.

It's not good, but it's like, you know, it's effective. It's just what was there. It's like, I wanna get up and I also wanna get drunk and kinda down with it. I've never understood drinking like alcohol red bull well it's just like an immediate like bump yeah but I don't get you like kind of stupid I think the problem is I don't like the taste of red bull it's all I don't need to worry there why are you drinking it because there was the only energy drink in the

fridge I it's tequila and coffee would have been way weirder and greater good guess there's probably a tequila coffee drink though, isn't it? I mean, there's got to be no Gus, I have a confession to make to you that well, this is gonna be great if we're starting with this right off the bat So about four years ago. Oh wow go into the vault. Yeah, you Esther and I we went out to dinner This cool place on I don't out to dinner this cool place on I don't believe this doesn't sound like you sit on your It happened

You know we ate had some drinks and we went to a bar kind of down the street and then we went back to your house and Started drinking some more. I'm gonna lay a lot. I'm kind of hanging out. No, this totally happened. You seriously not remember? No, I don't remember so where do we eat? I don't know place on e6. Oh It doesn't ever it down so then we went back to your house which this did happen and Started you know kept drinking and then maybe you remember now I started getting kind of blown up on my text. Yeah, there's a squirrel who kept like bad dream me So I was like, oh, hey hold up. I need to go outside and like, take this call.

And then I would come back in in like 10 minutes later. I'd have to go back and then come back in and over and over and over. Well, there's actually no girl. I was going outside and throwing up next to your house because I was sick because of how much alcohol I drink. And I didn't want you to know that was it because I thought I was credibility. I don't even remember having out with you.

I don't think this is going to happen. I'm a tester. I'm a tester right now. You're just like, no, I'm just gay. I've got to go check out my friend. I went in front of your neighbor's house. Yeah, I was like, sorry guys, I really got to go. And then I go out and I throw up some more than come back.

You know, did you keep drinking? I stopped at that point then I go out and I throw up some more and then come back. You know that you keep drinking. I stopped at that point. He was trying to, I was gone. By the time that I got into your house and we had like maybe one drink, I didn't drink anymore but it was just downhill. I went out like four or five times. What kind of bully are you guys? He's not, you know what?

He wasn't pressuring me. I was just, he wanted to keep up. I did it. Yeah. This is like my opportunity and I didn't want to screw it up or else we'd never hang out again outside. How many times have we hung out again since then? None. That was it.

You know he smelled like puke coming in. You know that he knew and Esther had to have known. Like you came in like vomit on your shirt. I'm not, because he didn't remember it. I don't remember. I thought he was rude because I kept going out and I have to be like, oh this girl, I just call this girl, she's going crazy. I have no memory of that like zero

Wow, that's your important spread and that scale of things hurts In ways that I can't really put into words. He's been waiting for you It's a really better. I never hang out with anyone So you blew it. Yeah, I don't even remember hanging out with you That's what little of an impression you left on me. We hung out once, Gus. I remember that. We hung out again.

You remember that? Yeah. That was what we had. What roast? Why? Why do you remember Aaron and not me? Cause he wasn't constantly going outside. That's true.

I threw up at the table like a man. And go outside in the bushes like an asshole. No, it's gonna bug me now. It's and the bushes, like an asshole. Yeah. It's gonna bug me now. It's got to do a texture right now. I don't want to get distracted. It's absolutely happened. It's a good story.

No, I don't believe you. You believe I make it. I don't think I dreamed it. It's maybe we did. Oh God, that's scary. Scary to think like maybe some of your memories aren't real. You just remember remembering them, does that make sense? Well, I've had that where people are telling stories

and then I'm like, and they've told the story multiple times. So then I start putting myself in. You do that all the time with me. You always like, you'll start a story and I'll be like, dude, that's my story. I've told you that like two years ago and you're like, oh yeah. Yeah.

So like you do that all the time. Well, it's like someone tells you a story multiple. It's like, yeah, yeah, I feel like, you do that all the time. Well, it's like someone tells you a story, and it's like, yeah, yeah, I feel like I was there. That's phenomenal. You know what, and I hate to say this, that happens with married couples a lot. I think I'm hanging around you too much. If that's happening, we're hanging out way too much.

The thing I always wonder is like, I always forget if I've had a conversation with someone, like, there's like three states for me. Did this happen in a dream or real life? And then, I guess it's really only two states. And then did it happen in real life? And did I tell it on the podcast or did I not tell it on the podcast?

Because sometimes I'll start telling it and start on the podcast and be like, I think I told this already, then you get in there, like no way to happen. This is a new one. I mean, that's a lot of hours of talking. I can't notice. If you're gonna have this happen, sometimes I'll start telling Paula about this story and I'll get like 30 seconds in, 45 seconds in and then after I'm done, she'll just be like,

you know, I was there for that. Yeah. Oh shit, yeah. Or it's like, you know, that was your ex girlfriend. And you're like, oh yeah, she was great. And then you move on. Yeah. Right?

Memory's the worst. I feel like, yeah, as she's accepted it though, that I'm not going to remember most of our relationship. See, so you shouldn't be mad that I forgot our relationship. No, that's different. That was the one time. I thought it meant something. It was the same thing.

Or at least I thought it was a reason why you weren't hanging out with me. No, maybe that's the positive thing from it. It's completely indifferent. It's not that you offended me or that I was upset. It's just that I don't give a fuck. Yeah, that's worse, that's way worse. That being said, you probably remember the sides I had with my roast beef.

You know what they were. What they want to say? It was broccoli. Yes. And I want to say? There was broccoli? Yes. And I want to say there might have been mashed potatoes. Who is a better friend with gas? The mashed potatoes broccoli guy. Yeah.

Yeah. Congratulations Aaron. I'm going to go throw up now. No, you're going to get a text and you're going to leave. So I was speaking of throwing up. I visited, I went on a trip the other day and I visited Ireland. There's the first time I've ever been to Ireland. It was a really cool country. I was there for a very short amount of time. I was like, what am I gonna do? You know, I've only got a few hours in the country. I was like, I'm gonna try

to find like every coolest pub I can and just walk around the city from pub to pub trying to drink my way around the city. I did my damnedest to do it. How many did you get to? I think I did eight or nine. Did you get to slide immediately after? Pretty quickly after. Oh my God. It was not the smartest plan, but it was a well-executed plan Chris and I told us on the podcast and none of you were in here We had a lot of beer that we bought in Vegas that we didn't drink We also well we hadn't slept we stayed we decided we we had an early fight We had to stay up all night drinking so because if we went to sleep we wouldn't wake up right obvious Yeah, yeah, it's like we have to stay up drinking it's a smart

thing to do yeah so we brought the beer to the airport and then we got to the point where we could not take it any further so I think like Jewish Christ just started like shugging beer before the seer-keerty checkpoint I I love I didn't waste it and were you pushing a cart of beer up the escalator a cart of beer no it wasn't a cart pushing a cart of beer up the escalator? A cart of beer, no. It wasn't a cart. Maybe I put the beer on the cart while it was drinking it. No, no, no, no, it wasn't a cart of beer.

It was a cart with beer on it. Well, you say a cart of beer, you imagine it's like, there's like, it's made of beer bottles. It's like, I'm reloading a grocery store or something. It was just beer with on a cart. I love the Vegas airport because if you're there drinking at a bar, like in the airport, you can get your drink in it to go cup

to take it on the plane with you. No way. Yeah, so there's this one bar I always go to. Whenever I'm taking off from Vegas, there's one bar. I'll always stop it and wait for my flight to board. And I'll just start drinking there. And you can get like, it's like you order a drink or for two dollars more you can get a double which is like huge and they're like and if you want You know if you don't finish it don't worry. We'll just put it in a plastic go cup. Were you taking it on the plane?

Oh my god, are you serious? Yeah, so don't I mean always order the double in whenever you get the biggest airport Is probably that is every time I'm flying out of Vegas with the exception of that time because we'd never stop drinking I never want to drink at that point because I'm like I'm done drinking for like a year after Vegas you know yeah every at the point where you're like I just don't want any more on the verge of alcohol for every day every day but every day but it pulls me back in so did you do you see running the fights in the Ireland bars anything cool anything stereotypical? I suppose only only one

Like one one fight and like the dude got like tackled and the police showed up. What really that's still cool though Yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean, it's like you see that anywhere in Austin I feel like that's a stereo like a stereo type for for Ireland But it's like you go down to six three you see like five of them I really the long branch in the other day and a guy got kicked out of the front doors by the bartender he got kicked out and the bartender started beating him with a golf club

as i was walking in and i looked at it for a little bit and i was like they are still going to go in here and had a beating him and he's like and you see your idea he's like so is i'm doing the seven iron you bring me your idea yeah it was awesome i felt more inclined to go in that bar because the bartender was such a badass. Have you seen any fights like that? Like on the side of the road,

like road rage, like people get an accident or anything like that? I've never seen it in person, but I saw a video earlier today of a road rage incident in China where a bus driver got mad at a car and started ramming it. And he hit the car like eight times. Then eventually like he like slams the car into a tree. The driver of the car gets out to try to run away and the bus bowls him over. The bus driver stops with the bus on top of the guy's legs and gets out.

It starts screaming at the guy. The guy I want the guy stuck under the bus. No. And people are just filming it with their cell phone cameras. Not helping him or anything? And eventually, yeah, people run up, but the video cuts off. Some help him when he's suing him. Yeah.

Something similar happened in Houston. It's same thing, these guys started kind of yelling at each other. And then there was the buy standard who's like, don't't want to get involved don't want to help but want to record the whole thing and they're just kind of arguing as you kind of expect it and then all of a sudden they start breaking out into the just this brawl and I don't know if we have the video to look at is just reference so yeah smoke it is. So the people on the right, they're in the blue pickup truck and those guys are from the Y-car.

So obviously said something, the guys in the Y-car came back and then they just started pounding each other. But eventually cooler heads prevail. Everybody goes back to the cars. Nothing more is gonna happen here. Everything's gonna be, oh my gosh, the truck! Slams into the car, sakes off. That's a demolition Derby style.

Yeah, and then you think they're gonna call the police, but the car, the white car actually drives off and follows the pickup truck. And the police have no idea what happened with those cars. They have not. There's video. There's a guy that's in the place, right? No. They have not. There's video. There's a guy that has this place in it, right? No?

I guess there's been no updates. I guess if you don't, if you don't, like there's no police report, like they just, they're just a part chase. Yeah. Well, I guess it's one of the, it's like, if you don't ever report that, the police don't, they're not gonna like track them down to be like,

well, you both were dicks, I don't know. But there's an assault happening. Yeah, there's an assault. But who, or better of fighting each other? It depends on, because assault is through the first punch. I think it is. And they kind of don't have any other. They can use, right?

Like, can you, if you use just your face, we use like a weapon or whatever, stuff like that. So I've got the bus video here too, as well. Yes. So we can cut to it. But, so this is like towards the end of it. He's already been trying to push the white car off the road. Yeah.

Why? He's a whole ass. And they'll run and catch up here just a few seconds. Yeah, he's like pushing the car along. See it. And then the driver is getting out running away at this point. And then chasing the driver down with the bus. Why? Like, is there a reason?

I don't know. It wasn't in the story. He'll come up here in a second. You'll see the driver over the guy under the bus. The guy under the bus is like screaming, obviously. And the driver just... Oh my god. This does not help me. i'm trying to say between flying or writing a bust to mexico uh... this is not i so i propose me over the weekend saying that there should be between the hours of like

three and four maybe two and four this should be chaos hours so anything goes on the road i don't like like the purge, but yeah, yeah, it's like a nightly base. When he called it chaos hours, I think it would just be on fries and Saturdays, but basically as soon as 2am hits, it's chaos hours and you can do whatever on the road. You just go crazy, you drive crazy blah blah blah.

I think he was trying to get around like DUI stuff, but I took it to a further level. It's like, oh man, you'd race around and do all this and he's like yeah it'd be chaos hours i was thinking like you can't like burn down buildings no no no let's just on the road just on the road you can burn down cars i have a lot of buildings yeah i was like man chaos hours sounds like fun because you don't want to participate you don't participate but if you happen to be

out but like not every night like once a year like like it's. But if you happen to be out, but like not every night, like once a year, like Halloween, Fridays and Saturdays. No, once a year. You're at home and your wife goes into labor during chaos hour. You better have a big fucking truck. You gotta like, mad Maxson. Yeah, you gotta mad Maxson. You have to have that vehicle that's just for chaos hours. Maybe there's like a chaos uber.

Yeah. Well, not in Austin, you'd have to get a chaos. Chaos uber's okay. Gauntmeer a chaos uber. Yeah. Well, not in Austin. You know, you'd have to get a chaos. Super's okay. Yeah, but you could you'd have this you could choose between car SUV and then this thing was just like spikes coming out of it and you're like, yeah, chaos hour. You pick the chaos per take monster truck. Yeah, monster truck. Yeah, awesome. So people are following up on your story, Brandon. They said that apparently all four people have been identified today in the case now, criminal case, since using cars of battering Ramza Felene, and they followed a police report today. That's the soul of the deadly weapon. Using a car, I think it was in a

Houston case when was it that the woman who ran over her husband 10 or 20 years ago? Do you remember that Gus? No, in a parking lot. All the? In the hotel parking lot? Anyway, it was a salt with a deadly weapon because she could kill them with a car. Yeah, and there were like a car's a weapon when you use it like that. I think. I think if you're like a boxer or an MMA fighter, you're considered a deadly weapon.

Or a military, right? When you are. I thought. Really? If you're a boxer, you're considered a deadly weapon. I think your fists are because you're trained. Wait, you're just facing that on air. They're not really considered deadly.

You're just facing that on Connor. You're looking up box, sir. Because if you're on this day, no, legally, this is a deadly weapon. Well, you say, you say a lethal weapon. You say, these are lethal weapons. Like that, when people go, but that's kind of unfair too, because then it's like, you punch some,

does it go the opposite way? Like if I hit somebody, the police would be like, oh no. Yeah, I don't worry about that. That's cute. I try doing a Google search for to get an answer and it's all like armchair lawyers. There's no way to find like a real, a real. You might find something on, I don't know, maybe read it. But that'd be armchair, lawyer-ing too, right? Right. I hate how everyone is an expert.

Like, there's no vetting. There no right here's my credit sometimes you see that you get linked with sources and that's nice you know but most of the time it's like listen i worked for a law firm in the front office for ten years and let me tell you this are deadly weapons you know that's also why wikipedia so unbelievably unreliable i don't know i don't something that you generally know a lot about

and then you go to that page and you're like, oh, love this, love this is wrong. And it's like, all right, now think of everything else on Wikipedia. Thank you. And like a lot of the citation, I'll see the citation and then you click on the link and it doesn't go any there.

It's a page number to a book that doesn't. That's a question. Or like to another Wikipedia. So that's actually what I find the most useful part of Wikipedia. Yeah, the citation is the source of the bottom. The citation is right. It's like, you read something, you're like, okay, I want to find the real source. That's actually what I find the most useful part of Wikipedia. Yeah, the site is on the bottom. Yeah. It's like, you read something, you're like, okay, I want to find the real source. That's actually an authority on this. You click on that and assuming it doesn't 404 or

redirect to something non-sensical, that's where the actual value is. Yeah. I got down a deep, like a Wikipedia hole the other night and I started reading about Heart Island in New York City and apparently it's the world's biggest potters Field which is where they bury people who are like unknown or like weren't identified at the morgue And there's something like over a million people buried on this island in New York City and it's weird So I started reading up more about it and like the New York Times are the same and what it was is like New York has New York City has these crazy laws where it within 48 hours or something like that if your body isn't Identified at the morgue then the first thing they do is they have to offer your body to a

Medical school as like a cadaver and then if they pass then you're sent to the pottersfield and buried in an anonymous grave Why would a bunch of other people like hundreds of people that sad if your body just gets passed over as a cadaver by a medical school. Well sometimes there's just like we've got too many bodies. So do they? Is that Heart's Island? Is that one of the buildings? I know it's got some old buildings. I just have to screen-serve. I don't know what we're looking at. Does everybody get their own space? Or do they start snacking people? No, here's what it is. So they'll dig like a 200-foot-long trench.

Yeah. And they'll bury the buried bodies, three tall pine boxes, right? Three tall, 75 across, 2 deep. So 3 tall, 75 across, 2 deep. No, no, 3 tall, 25 across. Okay. Two, so it ends up being 150 bucks. So 75, 75, right?

And then, but they now they're geotagging them. They've been doing that for like, you know, a few years. But what they did is they had a grid system in case someone was like, Hey, I haven't heard from grandma in like five years. And they go, you know, you file a claim or whatever. And they could look up and they'd be like, Oh, yeah, your grandma's buried with 200 other people in this ditch. And so we can go, and they ex, you know, you file a claim or whatever, and they can look up and they'd be like, oh yeah, you grandma's buried with 200 other people in this ditch.

And so we can go, and they exume them, but they have to like, but if your grandma is at like the bottom of the three thing, they have to like, and it's pine boxes. Man, it was jobbing with that. It's prisoners. They have the prisoners do it from Rikers Island. And they paid them.

What? 50 cents an hour. Yeah. So they have these prisoners working you know all day to bury these bodies in these big trenches at fifty cents an hour and you know like it's so it's so sure and then some assholes like trying to find his grandma yeah the prisoners are like man fuck well apparently there's some popular like and if you don't have enough money for a funeral what they'll do in

New York is you can check you want a city burial for your family member but they everyone you know or propably they think that it's like a cremation or something but a lot but no a city burial is they put you in the box and then they take you out to the to heart island and they bury you in the big trench. See there should be an app for that available to the public. It is you can go online you can go in the GPS and see like like, oh, this is, like, I can get on my phone. And I can serve for something cool. And then, like, wrap myself, like, kind of like a scavenger hunt.

Where you can track your body? Yeah, I know, like, an app where I can be, like, I can look at, like, some cool descriptions of people, like, oh, this person was a pirate. Well, they still pirates, right? And then, like, then I have to, like, I have to, like, go to the lot and then, like, track myself.

Yeah, they just, they just download movies from the internet That's not like cool. No, there's still pirates in like the Pacific, right? I guess around the Somalia right yeah, what does it do? How do you qualify being a pirate? You do You still shit on the ocean international waters like if I how far do I have to go off the coast of Texas you can do it in Texas if you're in a ship stealing from other ships Oh, how far do you have to go off the you don't have to go anywhere? Oh deep Kind of ship like a shallow kind of ship B. I think if you I think you could qualify as a pirate if you're jump if you're on one ship and you jump

No, I think I think you're running around in the ocean and I take something from somebody, I'm not a pivoriant. I'm a pivoriant. Could you be a road pivoriant? And could you like take over 18 wheelers on the inner ship? They're in chaos hours, you can't even feel that stuff.

And then you'd still be a road pivoriant. Yeah. To me, a road pivoriant, that's just the name for a car thief. Right? Very well, very good. So a pivoriant is just the name for a boat thief. Exactly, and that's just a name for like a car thief right very well very good so pirates was named for a boat thief exactly and that's why I'm that's but they don't just steal boats they steal oil and all sorts of shit and people they still people yeah yeah yeah I saw uh what about canoes

and that's right it's on international waters I think that's the I saw an interesting uh episode of that vice series on HBO. I'm always watching that show and if anybody else watches it, but they had an episode about how in recent years the incidents of piracy around like Somalia and like what was known as like this really high pirate area, highly pirated area? It's pirated. High pirated percentage? Piracy has dropped significantly there. Because now these companies have set up shop

where it's like private military companies that will have boats that are just filled with weapons and soldiers. Yeah. And so when a ship leaves dock and meets up with these boats and international waters, they hire soldiers and weapons, rent them, they sit on their boats and defend them It's pirates and then just drop them off of the next boat or They've seen that Tom Hanks movie and they understand that piracy is no laughing matter

Look at me look at me. I am the captain. No. No. No. All right. No, I don't I don't think you don't think I can say anything That's it. Yeah, I mean, which is crazy because like I think about on the February else I've played like the the old middle gear games and like one of the things they always used to talk about was the rise of private military corporations and I thought, you know, as a kid and growing up, you know, even several years ago, I thought, that's ridiculous. Like that'll never happen. And it's like now we live in a world where there are private military corporations. Like, right, like, yeah, like operating alongside the military overseas.

And then there's boats like this to just have private military all on them with weapons and soldiers. And it's like you can just rent them out and use them to help defend whatever it is you need. Yeah, and it's how do you come to contact with those private military firms? It's like if I had enough money, could I call them? Oh yeah. If you have money, anyone will be happy to take it. Yeah, okay. I'm just saying, I'm just saying.

Is that how it works? Yes. I don't know if there's an expectation that they only work with government states or something. No, because they're all like private shipping companies. Yeah, it's terrifying. Yeah.

So are they killing people too? Or just, they talk, so in the documentary, they say that most of these companies do not want to talk on camera about it But that they were able to talk to one and they outlined their procedures, which is normally like just intimidation and deterrence Like they don't want to shoot anyone. They just let it be known that they are armed and you know, they're willing to fire on them They have to defend right but yeah, if they don't You know see the legal thing right because like technically, I don't know, you know, pirate what legal counsel they have

But I mean they could sue these military places for you know these private military companies for shooting them or their friends or whatever the cases I mean couldn't they would you be concerned if when we started sending like on voice to other planets colonize them They also sent some of these soldiers. We'd be like what's going like what? No, you got to absolutely send soldiers like that yeah Because it's not only if it's it's not only about contacting other civilizations It's about you know wildlife you may encounter. Oh, yeah I mean if you know about that I would assume like there's no way we're gonna get some place that has wildlife or Then why are we sending people that's what I'd be suspicious like I don't think they tell people that but I'd be suspicious if they started sending like a military envoy

With like I don't understand what's going on here. I don't think I'm assuming if we don't think they're gonna tell us It's we're going someplace that has another civilization. I think they will not sell us diplomatic on voice into the space that be fine you wouldn't be worried, but if they sent military I think it's suspicious. Yeah, I'd be like, okay, if these guys want to go here, they want to figure out what's the best way to establish a society based on what's on this plan. But if they send the military, then I'm fucking scared. No, I had a buddy who used to get

stone all the time, and I would be a space lawyer. And what he wanted to do is you wanted to have his own little space station and be around whenever I guess international You know space capsules ran into each other and stuff like that. He wanted to be a space ambulance Change that's where I swear to God. I swear to God I saw a story today about how the ISS has successfully completed. It's 100,000 orbit around Earth. Yeah, oh, that's crazy. And it's something, I forget the number, it was something like, it was a couple of billion miles, I think it was like almost three billion miles that it had traveled.

So you can see equivalent of 10 round trip journeys to Mars. Didn't it officially outlive its expectancy? I don't think so, not by this point. Really? I thought it has by a few years, I thought you were right. I think it was like, it came time, they're like, oh man, what do we, we have nothing. It was anything like mirror, man.

They milked mirror for a few years until finally. I was like, okay, it's crumbly, it's coming down. We gotta leave. Those cosmonauts spent years up there. Yeah, like dealing with lots of mirrors too. Years, they say years. I said mirrors. They could have used good space representation for the same legal voice. I would, you're gonna use good space representation.

I just say I would be freaked out if they send a mail. Like, I'm no, if a fight. So your, your space lawyer, stoner friend brings up an interesting point. If a fight breaks out on the space station between like a Russian cosmonaut and American astronaut, like, who? So what? Right. Like what? What country has your

addiction over? What's ever space station? They're in. Well, it's an internet. It's whatever. like who's the police right like what what what country has jurisdiction over whichever space station they're in well it's internet it's whatever it's whatever mission whoever's running the mission wait what what you say what module they're in no he said space station but I was like I'm a U.S. whatever the case is my buddy pv is gonna pull up in his space Honda hatchback right up to the dock come in with his tie loose and she'd be like who needs a lawyer who need he doesn't speak like that but he's like ready i thought you many good it's like whoever built that specific module that the

i think it really complicated now it's i forget i don't know how they do there is a i know no no no no one else in his podcast is made made this because that they were so far there is a page on wikipedia about spacer's diction uh... with with subcategories of trade in space space marriage and the future space your addiction it might see if my play wouldn't have gotten so stone all the time and

it's you would have been that space lawyer now he's just a simple uh... he works in the towers directing traffic control terrifying that's only forgot about it should not be in those towers he's in a tower right now directing airplanes we sound like it's still kind of guy i don't know if you got to be that's like the plane to do in their thing and they're not close to each other just let them go that's what he is doing once thing and they're not close to each other, just let them go. That's probably what we his do.

Then once they, once they bump, then then he's like, I assume as soon as that accident happens, I tell you he's back in law school. As he's just back in law school, studying space law. All right, here I'm gonna read this bit here. When I'm in everyone, this episode of Recipe Podcast is brought to you

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Well, have I got a URL for you? Yes. So you're talking about air traffic controller. I guess there's been, I've been out of town for a few days and I guess there's been a lot of rain going on in Austin, Houston while I've been gone and I was on, I was flying on my way back yesterday and I was on a flight from London to Houston and the whole flight they're like, oh we're ahead of schedule, We're gonna land 30 minutes early. I was like great. It's awesome and You know they have like the map and you can see you know where you are in the flight And we're getting close like we're coming over Arkansas heading down towards Texas like oh man

We're gonna be we're gonna be there so soon gonna watch Game of Thrones And then we reach a point where instead of like heading towards Houston the plane turns it starts going straight south Oh Fuck that's not right. Like, toward the water? Yeah, towards the goal. Oh, yeah, no, that's a. And I'm like, out of the shit. No way.

They haven't said anything. So like, there's internet on the plane. So like, I pull up, you know, the weather, the weather in Houston. And it's just like red thunderstorms over the entire city. Oh, shit. And I'm like, looking online and they're like, you know, I see the alert online It's like you know Houston intercontinental has been ground stop. They just don't do they just circle for like 10 minutes Crystal City. They didn't tell anyone we went like halfway between New Orleans and Houston out over the Gulf and to start

It's circling. I was like, it's what the fuck is I'm even saying? Oh my god. And then like after like the third circle The captain comes on is like, yeah, you know, there's there's thunderstorms in Houston We can't land We're just gonna circle for a bit. You know, we're gonna have to circle for a minimum of another 30 minutes And we need fuel will divert in your life You know, well, but it made you think of that the time that pilot was circling for weather and then just Wasn't paying attention and they ran out a few I thought about that Extensive point where you just want to say like to the flight attendant. I know I know the captain knows what he's doing

But if you just want to That mentioned so we circled and then you know I got to a point and I could see like and my weather app like you know There was a red thunderstorm and it was moving and there was like another red cell. That was moving in So it's like a little cap of green. I'm like right around then the captain comes out, it's like, all right, there's a little break in the wind. We're gonna try something. That was like, oh no!

I was like, I normally never get nervous on a plane, but I was like, this is bad. Like this is bad. I think the worst cyber was like, we were doing that same thing kind of circular, or we were getting a rough patch, and the pilot just came on and goes, seat belts. And now I's nothing.

And we were all like, what are you, is he just like seatbelt? And he didn't say anything else after that. And it's like, you saw the thing go on and we're like, I guess we're gonna die. Who doesn't put on their seat, have their seatbelt on all the time? I don't wear my seatbelt on.

Why? I'm just hanging out. All the time you go to the bathroom and you don't put it back on, because it's, yeah. There's too much pressure on here for two more. And also what, you could, like like just there's a whole number of things that could happen where I've got a great story about this It's a place going down my seatbelt sign. No, no, it's not issue going down

It's like if there's just a slight bump like you know relatively, you know forceful you can go up in the air And I did hit the seal or if shit really happens and the planes like kind of losing control not just completely crashing losing control you're gonna be rolling around all over the plane just crazy doing like summer salts well then if the plane's going to start saying it the planes going down I'm dying anyway. No no no you planes go down all the time and there's the one guy that gets killed. They recover that weather you know like there's always like one person he's it's just the seatbelt guy it's the guy that refuses to wear a suit i'm not you'd be surprised how often horrible things happen

there's a reason they're a cover they there's a reason they get on the intercom saying seatbelts seatbelts well when they do that normally that's a signal for the flight attendants to go and uh... check and remind everyone to put their seatbelts on there was a flight recently i. There was a flight recently, I think it was a flight from Abu Dhabi to Indonesia that encountered such severe turbulence that it broke overhead bins, spilled everything into the aisle,

and nine people had to go to the hospital. And I've got a few pictures of it, I don't know if we can pull it up. So it's like, you can see there's like, lids from the bins on there. All the shit there is just spilled out. Yeah, they have a whole protocol. Can you imagine being on that when you're on all of a sudden your suitcase falls?

Like that's, there's a lot worse that's gonna happen in that plane than your suitcase falls. No, no, yeah, but like, you know, I've been through like heavy turbulence where you're like, you get nervous, like, oh, but if things are breaking. Right, like like, you know, I've been through like heavy turbulence where you're like you get nervous like oh But if things are breaking Right, like these are the plane are like falling down I don't see in your sex toys burst out of your suitcase

Yeah That's a little crazy. This is a slightly unrelated. I don't know we're talking about planes But like I was told not to get coffee on planes anymore because they never clean the coffee makers Because the crews have no there's no incentive for them to come in and be like I need to clean this coffee maker during my shift. Yeah, so they just let it go forever. The problem I have with it It's not necessarily that the coffee I mean the coffee machines are dirty right the real problem is that Unless it's bottled there's really no potable water on a plane That's right. You're not supposed to drink the water that comes out that you wash your hands with

Yeah, and it's like the same system that feeds the coffee and the tea. So you're getting shit coffee? No, you're not necessarily getting shit coffee. It's just not supposed to be true. Non-political coffee. But they have to, they can't be just giving you shitty coffee. Like that's legal. They the hell they want. They just doesn't matter. Yeah, they're in international waters. Yeah. They're in chaos in the skies. Yeah. The rest hold on.

And I haven't been getting coffee on plants because I just, I think about that. I won't get it. It's just because it makes me, it makes me need to take a dump. And I don't want to take a dump on the plane. Is that, what do you do if like you're having a really bad time on a plane? And you're like, I just need to, like, you guys are going to suffer with me. Like, would you do, would you go take a dump on a plane?

You have to, if you have to. I mean, if I have to, I have to, but if I can avoid it, I'll avoid it. Like, I'm not going to go out of my way. Like, I know if I drink the coffee, it's going to make me take a dump. I feel like there's certain places where you should never take a dump. One is a plane. Very good. One is a bar.

There's no reason to take a dump at a bar. What have you been doing all day that you all the sudden? It's one in the morning. You're like man. Yeah, I need to go to the night to get this done Like there's no fucking oh, yeah Yeah, there's a funny story about that but a bar Man something's another there's got me another now work of course you take it. That's how you get out of doing stuff I took a dump before it came here. Just as I was like now do that and come on the podcast no work all day There's got to be some other place though. That's like there's no reason there's not be a toilet bars are like

The worst for me like if I go out to a bar I become stressed that I might have to take a dump at that bar I'm worried like what if something happens and I need to take a dump? Like, you scope the bar out beforehand. There is no bathroom in the like, all right. There is no reason you should ever have to take a dump at a bar. I know, it's what I'm saying.

There's no reason. And I'm always worried that something's going to come up and I might have to. I think there are a lot of two stories about that. Both evolving the same person. Yeah. One friend who took a dump, my friend comes out of the bar or he comes up to me at the bar and he's like, Hey, you know how you always like see those,

like you go into a toilet, a public toilet and you're like, how did they, who shit on the wall? Like, you know, you're like, I know. You walk into the toilet like, how did this happen? He was like, I have the answer. And it came out of my ass. He was like, I had a buddy, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he goes, I was just, yeah. So anyway, so he's like, I just really had to take a dump and like the toilet seat

was so nasty and there was like, like, I didn't know what, you know, like I just had to go so he just squatted and just like let it loose. Wait, wait, wait, there's a difference between squadding and letting it loose so that ends up on the floor. And there's a difference between squatting and letting it loose so that it ends up on the floor. And there's a difference between squatting

and letting it loose so it ends up on a wall. That's like bent over, I think it was just, I think it was just like, he just bent and just like, let it go. I went into the toilet. Why did he, I went into the toilet afterwards. It looked like the shit man had been slaughtered. So it was like, was it a man in the toilet or above? It was just like, he's like, I just imagine you cutting a shit man had been slaughtered. So, like, was it a man in the toilet or above?

It was just like, he's like, I just imagine you cutting a shit man's jugular and he's like, oh! But it was just, there was shit on the toilet, there was shit on the, whatever the front of the toilet is, on the floor of the rainbow. It was just like, through the bathroom.

It was, I mean, it was just like a bomb. I wish that we could find him and ask him to like physically recreate the position. These palms had been on the floor. Like he had to have been faced pitched for this is like, this is like what I'm thinking. It's like the magic shit is what it is. But he had to be in like bear with me here. This is the toilet. He had to have been. that's that's why I imagined. Yeah. I don't know how I mean I wish there was a reason why CSI had to go in there like charted like Dexter's like draw like no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no We were having his best. So we were at a bachelor's party and this friend So here's to so mean air

Drove there's a new Orleans. We went to New Orleans. We drove to New Orleans. I was almost there the other day Yeah, you almost land everyone else you didn't drive took a bus and on this bus they had certain this buddy had Certain doesn't say dozens of hot cookies. Basically. And he was the only one who really ate them. Like these are these are, it's not like a 10 hour bus ride. No, no, it's like four hours. And so it's like, oh, no, seven hours or something. It's long. Yeah, whatever. But anyway, these apparently, you know, our our friends of ours had had a cookie each and they were out of their minds.

Our buddy had had 13 cookies. And he was sitting there like this when we got to New Orleans. And because of me and Aaron were like, we just drove and we were front lines. That was kind of like, we were going to burn the shoe. And he was just like, uh-oh. Uh-oh. And so we're like, uh-uh. That's the way. Okay, well maybe we could go do something like a little

low key first. But we go to bourbon street. Yeah, we go to bourbon street anyway. And we end up at, we end up at the, what was it, bachelor party? So we're going to end up at the strip club. And so we're at the strip club and we're at this like, you know, kind of off the side room thing. And as we're sitting in the sort of, it's kind of like, you know, kind of off the side room thing. And as we're sitting in a sort of, it's kind of like a cord and off like VIP area, right?

Where are you guys doing there? Just hanging out. And anyway, so we're sitting there and we see all these people walking our friend disappears for a while. A long time cooking guy. 13 cookies. And as we're sitting in this section, all these people are walking by, like showing each other their phones and laughing and they're like pointing at this thing. Oh, no. I'm like, man, what's going on? What's going on?

All these people are walking by in the steady stream. Look at these pictures. So I go up to one of them and I'm like, hey, what's going on? And they go, you gotta go to the bathroom. You gotta see this guy. And we're like, okay. So as we're walking, we're kind of, we're like,

oh man, no, no, no. We go to the bathroom. First of all, here's the bathroom. It's, the door's always open, right? And the door faces the main stage. So a stripper can look directly into the bathroom. They don't have doors on, stripper. Like, you know, they don't put doors on the stalls, right?

They don't put doors on the stalls because people, you know, they don't put doors on the stalls because people, you know, like, oh, to get people from doing drugs. It's like, yeah, they don't put doors on the stalls, but also people were keeping the door to the bathroom open because of the spectacle that was in there. And so all of the dancers from the stage,

they were just looking in the bathroom and seeing exactly what was going on. We were just, you weren't, he's standing in the bathroom naked seeing exactly what was going on. He was just, he was wondering about, he's standing in the bathroom naked completely naked. Well, not completely naked, because he had his shirt pulled up like this. Yeah, but completely naked from the waist down. And he's sitting on the toilet. No, he's standing. Oh, was he standing in a spraying position again and just sitting there and he was, and everyone's taking pictures of him as he's trying to go to the bathroom

And they're like you know the laughing and sharing and all the dancers are like pausing like to look and they're like Everyone's naked, you know basically looking at him and like even the I think even the announcer was getting into it's like Yet again, he was causing bathroom ruckus. And it's like, what do you, like, I'm gonna change his name to protect the innocent, uh, uh, uh, Bartley. Bartley, what the fuck are you doing? He's like, I'm just cooling off guys. It's hot. I had to see the cool off. What are you guys doing in the stall? And we're like, dude, you're not in a stall. You're in a toilet and something in the middle of the open., dude, you're not in a stall, you're in a toilet and something in the middle of the open.

How did those pictures not end up unread it? I think it's... I don't know. I don't know. He wasn't covered with shit though. No, no, no, no. He was just making it. That's another place you shouldn't shit.

That's a different club. Because also they got those guys in there, like taking the money and like that's just awkward because you know he's just waiting outside of the stall door door waiting for you to come out and give him a dollar. Do you think like you could be in there be like hey man I'll I'll tip you like five books if you just make farting sounds with your hands right now I'm in here you can't hear me you're in the stall and you're like hey man I got some money for tip and you just you hold it underneath the stall while you're still going the bathroom and see if he'll take it just like it's five dollars That was our friend. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure there's more things that have

Pictures don't come back to Hanan, but they don't know who would it. That's the thing It's like he's not you know, he doesn't have a social following no one knows who he was You just another random drunk guy at whatever got a straight another guy naked at a street in Bourbon Street you know yeah I mean that yeah yeah it was it was such a non-event for them even the DJ was joking yeah even the DJ was like they didn't even kick us out to Tuesday yes what guys it's Tuesday it's a good bachelor party that's great it's fantastic Chris now when I've got it I was I remember we're going that strip club and you were Chris was so drunk that was no that was the next

night okay Chris was so drunk and he got no he got so lost no no no no I don't know what story you're telling all right I'll move on. Oh, he'll know fine, Chris. You tell us what it's for you. Now, oh, well speaking of bars, this is kind of a, you know, not really a chain of subject, but I played the most awesome game this weekend at this nightclub in town called Barbarales. With it was me, Blaine, and Barbara, and we were playing this game where,

you know, this is a Pac-Night Club, right? And we play this game where you have to touch your nose to someone's back without them noticing. And I don't know if there's points or whatever, but like, you basically, here, but people you know are random people. Random people, of course. So you're dancing, you're facing, you know,

you're doing that, and I have to go, I have to do this. No, I felt that. No, but I wouldn't do it that hard. But like that's the game. You have to see you're all competing to do that. Plus if it's crowded, you might not necessarily. You're getting bumped all the time. And so first off like that is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. And then they started doing it. And I had to do it. And it was so amazing because you just, I got obsessive with it because you touch a few people. You have a, you have an unnatural advantage. That's not fair. I have you to say, but it's true. I have an unnatural advantage. So I can, I got a little leeway, you know, like you see this thing. And I, I start touching backs and I started getting really into it

Where I didn't care about anything else that was going on I just started going after people's backs as there as they were dancing. How many drinks on it? You know what's funny? You know what's funny? There's someone texted me because I was at town this weekend and they are like are you downtown and I was like No, it's like because I just saw a bunch of your friends leaving Barbara else and they were so drunk No, it's like because I just saw a bunch of your friends leaving Barbara else and they were so drunk Yeah, cool. Those tension people strangers bass in my nose But here's what happened there was this I was dead I was doing the thing doing the thing and I tried to get this one guy

But he did he moved away from me right as my nose went and he started walking off to this so this bar has a ton of But it's it's long. It's big, it's huge place. And so I was like, that guy just got away from me. And by that point, I was so drunk. And so obsessive about it, that was like, I got to get him. I got it. So I start following him through the bar. And he's here. Yeah, I know. I know. It's crazy. And then no, he didn't go the bathroom. He was walking all the way to the back. And the thing was, is there are a lot of little nooks and crannies in there. So every time he'd slow down to take another turn to get towards the passers-in-the-back,

I'd almost have him, but then he'd keep going. So anyway, he gets to the back. He finally gets to the back. You know, he's looking at his phone and he's like getting a drink or whatever and stuff like that. I'm like, okay, here, I got him. So I go up and I touch him just like that. He doesn't notice and he's just like that. I was like yeah, and so as I turn his buddy who I guess he was going to

me and just look at me He didn't say anything. He didn't go what was that or anything? Did you like your smelly him? No, no, it didn't look as normal as smelling something It looked like I touched him with with my nose and then the guy who I touch turns around and sees his friends staring at me a smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly smell But it's an amazing game. You will hate it. You do hate it because the thought of... Yeah, everything about this sounds terrible. It's something nightmare. But it's so fulfilling. And then you have to take a dump. The toilet seat was dirty.

And if you get addicted to this, you're gonna develop some kind of reputation as like the phantom on the nose guard. On the nose guard. You're already. That's good. That's good. But for different reasons.

And then you'll just be like one of those bit of like weird news trivia. Like, man, it also takes a little rest for assaulting 25 people by touching a note. A man who's claimed to have touched 200,000 people's backs with his nose was arrested. I read a really weird news story. So what's that one drug? Man, no, no, no, you take to not take it down. Emotions. Emotions. No, no, no, it's that you take to not take a dump Emodium modium what apparently you take like a hundred of modium or something you can get people are getting high off of it

What what I? It's where I said It's apparently someone experiment. I don't know why you would experiment I don't know who's the guy. It's like you know what? I'm gonna take a hundred of these and see what Like how this is going out on a date, like I really don't want to shit at the bar or the airplane. But like someone with really bad ideas, like two-stop normal diary. A hundred will stop what I got. I've been shitting water.

But no, apparently that's a thing now where it's like you take a bunch of the modium and, I mean, it's gotta be with kids. Oh yeah, yeah. It's always like high school. Yeah, it's always like, yeah, yeah, I can buy a modium, I can buy as much as I want. Yeah. And it's, I mean, obviously it's bad for you because it's like, well no shit, well no shit.

No shit. But yeah, do they get like really stopped up and are they not able to shit every time? I have no idea. I wish it was the reverse. I wish it was they found the laxatives. Just make them super high. And it's just like a trade-off.

You should. Your pants get stone. Well, what is the, I can't imagine what the high is from you. So, okay. I'm reading up on this. And I don't know whether to believe this or not. Okay. So I guess people are using it to self-treat addiction to pain killers.

What? How is that? Because apparently some people can do self-treatment for withdrawal symptoms, like for opioid addiction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I guess that's what they're trying to do. But the thing is with opioids and stuff like oids and stuff like that like you know I'm known people who've been addicted that you get constipated from that right right? It's like slow all of that stuff down so if you're also taking a modium Are you just building a dam inside of your

That's eventually gonna rupture or well how long but how long would it last like I don't I don't I mean Are you asking how long the high last or how long would it last? Like, I don't know, I mean, are you asking how long the high lasts or how long? No, they're like, because it's gotta be a long time, either one of them. So basically, I imagine the same people who are taking 100 of modium to get higher, also the ones shoving tampons of vodka up their ass. So like, maybe they're winning somehow,

because they're high from not shitting, and that because they're not shitting, they can put the tampon up their ass and get drunk. And like and like maybe they got a whole there's a whole system of getting messed up that we out We were never a part of because we you know, we're just not in that generation So what are the health risks of taking this? See now or not? This is a future attic that you just got Not for the high. I'm just saying you know, I don't you know, but I mean the health risks So I have serious side effects including breathing in heart problems and even death

well so nothing uh... abnormal from any other i'm not crazy about you know crazy about bomb moments so if this is an okay you may not be crazy about it to have a but man if you don't have one you're gonna be always get that thing where they come out of your stomach oh god yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the bag the bag the bag the can't be back yeah the tap you don't like dumps you could always do that it's way worse we were only anybody would prefer that

going out on a date and it's like a hold on one second I gotta oh yeah that's that's that's not preferable in in any way on a date and you're just like, hold on one second, I gotta go to. Oh! Yeah, that's not preferable in any way. What is it, so, you know, like, I keep my jay I was out of town. What is it about coming home and like taking a dump on your own toilet? That's just like the greatest thing in the world. Oh my God.

While I was out of town, I was like, I kept having unsatisfactory dumps and then I came home and I was like, immediately like, oh yeah. Cause you feel like a prisoner anywhere else. I don't know, there's something about it where you like, you feel rushed. You can spend a half hour in that bathroom at home.

Yeah. Plus, I don't know, I feel like other toilets have weird things about them. You don't know other toilets. Right, there's like one hotel room I stayed in. It was like, I kept hitting my arm on the seat, like as I'm sitting there. I hit your balls on the bottom of the, you know, thing.

The one where I was sitting, yeah. I don't want that. I took a dump at the airport that was like, so I traveled with our friend, Zach Anner, who's in a wheelchair, and you know, when you have someone in a wheelchair, they board the plane first and do all that before anyone else boards,

because it's like, you know, it's a little more time consuming, whatever. We were traveling and because of our schedule, it was impossible for us to get to the airport early. So we were gunning it to the airport, we get there and we're like right as they're boarding. But I have to take a huge, I have to go to the bathroom. And so they're like, oh, but we need to board him now. And I'm like, I have to go to the bathroom and so they're like oh but we need to board him now and I'm like I have to go to the bathroom so I was I had I saw I went to the bathroom and then it was one of those things where because of

that I made like every way of life. Oh, then I have to then we have to board the wheelchair like after like in the middle of everyone else getting on the plane. So you've you rushed? Oh yeah, of course, because I knew I was holding up the entire time. Couldn't you have helped Zach onto the plane and then taking a dump on the plane? Like while it's still parked there,

and people are boarding? I had to go to the bathroom. It's not. You didn't take out of the modium or whatever. I hadn't gotten in time. I'm sure the people at the airline made that suggestion. They just go, are you gonna be quick? And I was like, yeah, I'll be quick.

The people on the airline should have the option of when you board back in the plane, like if you've caused a delay, they should be able to say like, this guy's taking a dump in the airport, sorry, relayed, but he apparently couldn't hold it. They should have a dump hat. It's like the poop emoji and if you put on your head and everyone knows like it's that guy's a pile on top of your head. Yeah. So you've not gotten on the the squatty potty train? No.

I think we talked about was this just we talked about it on the off topic podcast? Yeah, I can't do it. Why not? I don't know. Why? I'm setting my I'm setting my ways just try it once just experiment I'm not that kind of guy Brendan And we're way I don't like the other people's feet touch it as in a I don't know

I don't know Yeah, but I don't like it might be like a mounting thing. Yeah, you have to mount something We got a mount, but I don't like the thought of other people like a mounting thing. You have to mount something. We got to mount it, but I don't like the thought of other people, like I can imagine the position they were in when I get into that position. Let's just pick a unit home, have you tried it? Yeah, I haven't, I just. Is it better?

Oh yeah. It just feels like a life-uation. It just goes, yeah. You know what's, like you know what, you know what, get a hat onto it, cause it's gonna, is, what? Go for it. When I was a when I was it like a kid right you know like two years ago no like when you're like transitioning to like three from the diaper

to like using a toilet six you whatever reason when I was like four or three or however old I was when I was potty trained that was I that's how I used to sit on the toilet like that old I was when I was potty trained. That was, I, that's how it, I used to sit on a toilet like that. When I was like four, like this, like, do you say what you put your feet on the toilet? Yeah, when I was like four, you would slip in, like this, and it worked. I perched, and how would you do that? What'd you learn that? I don't know, man.

What'd you learn that? I guess I didn't. And then at some point, I was like, on the toilet like this and my mom or dad was like, you should sit on the toilet, not like, perched on it like an eagle. Like an 80. But it was like, seeing perched like an eagle makes me want to try this quality part.

I'm sure I know more in trying to try it. But just do this. I guess what I'm saying is, for whatever reason, when I was three or four, this felt most natural. Well, because that's stupid baby. Yeah, stupid baby. No, that's how people are meant to do it. That's how the potty thing,

that's how it's marked it and it's like on a toilet. That's how cats do it. But that's normal, apparently, are cats are four legs. Yeah. All right. Yeah, see I Yeah, I'm just saying is I do think there's some like you have my back on this one Chris We've had the toilet for 200 years now 150 years. Sure. Yeah. I can say that we don't need to go back to shitting the woods posture.

I think we're fine how we are, you know. Have you seen the the shitting unicorn video? No. I need to see the shitting unicorn video. It'll change your perspective. See, use a squatty potty like an idiot or a perch on the goddamn chair. We've showed this on the podcast before.

There's no need to show that video. You're like, good. We've moved beyond that. We can watch it later. Yeah, watch it later with you. You can hold hands while you watch it. But it does make me think about like,

you know, we have all these advances in technology. And what if there's just like a very basic thing that we've had for a long time? Like what if our posture is wrong sitting on the toilet? Now, we haven't realized it for all of this time. And it's what's causing skin cancers. We're probably like, or what if-

This is exactly what's in the unicorn video. Or what if- It can lead to- Brandon, we're not gonna fucking watch the video. I'm not saying. Or what if it's like, Oh, we didn't realize that carbonating water is really bad for you

yeah yeah just like some fundamental like really basic thing I always say it was like cigarette smoking stuff and how that evolved I I feel like that's one of those things that you knew yeah I've they always knew cigarettes were not I mean even in the you know 100 years ago they knew like smoking couldn't possibly be good for you but they just marketing wins with enough money

you know like of course, but I always saw it like 50 years from now or whenever, they're gonna be like, I can't believe people use the same toothbrush every day. I cannot believe how disgusting, how awful. And like, when we do it, like even if you have a fancy toothbrush or something that self-clin, you're still using the same brush every day, people are gonna be like,

I can't believe they weren't using the laser beam stuff. I think I've seen studies before that show, you know, if you keep your toothbrush out, like in your bathroom, that flushing a toilet ejects so much particulate into the air. Do you agree that it's steady? It's like constantly is coating everything. Do you ever get a Gavin saying that? Was it steady? Okay.

Gavin say that? Yeah, I got it. Mine's right above my toilet. Yeah. It's like within flushing distance. It covered shit. Oh, okay. Mine's right above my toilet. Yeah, it's like within flushing. It's covered. Shit. Oh, does that mean every the the walls are just comfortable. Everything is covered. Yeah. Yeah. Everything in your bathrooms. So there's a lot of stuff on your toilet. What about your towel? Yes, dude, there's a lot of bathroom. It's

covered. What do you do? There's a little to flush when you flush. It helps. There's a lot of stuff in life that's covered in poop. I hate to break it to you. This is really, this is been a shitty podcast. Yeah, I need to find a segue to talk about our next sponsor. We just have to, we just happened to hit it. I'll say one more thing about my personal toilet.

Every, I think, fifth or sixth flush, some sort of air thing happens where it launches water out of it, like five feet. It doesn't happen every time. It probably happens at 20% of the time, but when it does, it gets high enough that it'll hit you in the face. And as Barbara, she's been there, she's been victim, but like, you can't control it. And I try and keep the lid down and all that stuff boil up, but sometimes you don't

think about, sometimes you're on the toilet when it happens. And it just, it's like a free bidet. But it's not the kind of bidet you want. It's like a soiled bidet sometimes. Oh, all the thing about like, okay. You know what I mean? And like, it's just a completely random thing. I don't know what to do about it.

I don't know how to fix that. It's all your landlord and be like, yeah. My landlord is so awful, he will not fix it. First of all, he won't believe me. And second of all, he won't dry from Houston to fix it So I'm stuck with this random like I Russian roulette toilet that every now and then hits me in the fucking eye with toilet water Segway I have an update. I have Esther About this time we hung out and she says definitively

Bagley yes ask asteris no if he's on vaguely as i had for my sides no lovely dinner that's gonna be she know i bet she not only gets him right i bet she knows whether he's butter on the broccoli or the potatoes i know the answer but i won't say it because who puts butter on broccoli everybody and she is i don't cook. I don't cook. I don't know. I know you don't everything you eat comes from a freezer You you use a microwave on everything You're already yelled at me for so long for not having a microwave

Yeah, you're like, you know, I have a microwave. How do you eat anything? I was like I just cook it and you're like But like what do you do like when breakfast or dinner or whatever? And you're like yeah, but where you do? Like, when breakfast or dinner or whatever, I'm like, I can't. And you're like, yeah, but where you make your microwave dinners. It was like, what are you talking about, man? I am not a fan of microwaves. I hate using that. That's another one of those things in 50 years

when they're like, I can't believe they used to. I don't trust the microwave. I don't trust it. I hate turning my microwave on. It's like, I will do anything in the world I can't to not use my microwave. Why are you afraid that it's gonna? I just don't trust it.

I just don't think it's like a natural thing. Yeah. My friend and fifth grade are even popcorn. Like I don't know my quick popcorn. Like I have an air popper just for that. I'm not turning that thing on. My friend, uh, Commits me that you have to wait three seconds after it finishes cooking before you open it.

So, otherwise you'll get radiation points. Okay. So, for like a good like three years of my life, every time it would be, and then I'd wait three seconds, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, and then I'd open it. He still do it though, even though you know

it's not a lot of people. I don't want to do it anymore. Because like, I'm not people like, what the fuck are you doing? They're waiting in line to use a microwave or, you know, and I'm just, Where are you using a microwave that there's a line for it? Probably work or something.

Yeah, any time, you know, like people, people are waiting outside of Badendorks, he's perched on it like an idiot. He's getting his microwave popcorn out of town with three Mississippi. I also told, I would also, I would also also preach it to I think that was part of I'd be like you're like you know you need to wait three seconds before you open microwave like what are you talking? Did your parents ever tell you like we're kind of things like that to get you to mold your behavior they told you

ally I mean that happens all the time, but like oddly specific ones. Like my parents told me every time you flick on a light switch it costs 19 cents. They said every time it goes up, it costs 19 cents. So Aaron, whenever you do that with the lights and you think you're being funny, every time you did that it was 19 cents. You cost us $15 when you did that. And I was like, and I thought that till it was probably 17. Like I tell people just like you, I'd be like,

every time you flick up that switch is 19 cents, not including all the power you're using. And people were like, this guy's fucking crazy. And they were just, but no one told me, and then I figured it out on my own. I think that's true with like bigger lights, like studio lights. So you're flicking the studio lights

and they'll live in room. I know, I'm saying. You're flicking the studio lights. Yeah, I'm saying. You're ruining the greener. I know my parents told me that paper towels were expensive. So I wouldn't use paper towels. Who would you use? What does that mean? I hand.

I don't know. I guess I'd use napkins instead. It's a different set. I don't know. In my head, my parents are like, don't waste paper towels, those are expensive. And then in my head, I was like, these are really expensive. Like, why do people, what kind of house did you grow up in that had paper towels and napkins? Did anybody else grow up in a house like this?

Nowsl group in was just paper towels. My mom, who the fuck? My mom was not weird about like having everything like decorative and like oh well these are the these are napkins that we have this and then paper towels over here and these are the fancy napkins. These are the birthday napkins. She was just really weird about that. So in one point someone said don't you know don't you don't waste paper towels are expensive. Do you have dishes that you've never used?

They were like dining room dishes for when we have. She had the fancy fancy dishes that would be like oh we don't use these dishes. I were like dining room dishes for when we have a fancy fancy dishes that would be like, Oh, we don't use these dishes. I'm like, why not? She's like, well, those are only for guests. Like what is that? You're not good at us. Mom, I got a microwave this thing. I need a day. Man, I had the I had the worst, the funniest text for my mom. Ever I'm gonna read it.

Okay, all right, give me a second. All right. All right, here, let me read this while you will how you looked that up. I want to remind everyone this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by Blue Apron. Not all ingredients are created equal. Fresh, high quality ingredients taste better

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that can be prepared in 40 minutes or less. Check out this week's menu and get your two meals free with free shipping by going to blue Apron.com slash Rooster Teeth. You'll love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible home cook meals with blue aprons so don't wait that's blue apron dot com slash rooster teeth blue apron a better way to cook that's big fan of their service use it every week that's awesome I don't understand where people learn to cook in general I can't I can boil hot dogs that's it but I don't know do people, do parents make their kids cook

when they're growing up? Like, how do you? Observing and helping, isn't it? A lot of it. And just a general desire to want to, I guess I had other stuff to do. So what's your thing? OK, so context for this, I recently had a death in my family. And then, so my mom texted me this randomly.

No context, just, did you take a shower with a guy in a video? It's good start. And I knew what she was talking about on my personal YouTube thing. I did a stupid like video of how to take a shower. And there was a bit in there where I'm like and if you there are those hard to reach places you might need help and then someone pops into frame behind me as

if we were taking a shower. Yeah, yeah, as if we're it's just a stupid joke. And so I was like not actually pretend mom that's what movies are. That was my response to her. And then these are all other relatives that I'm listening. She said this is what I assumed but Justin was a little confused. Said Mindy's response to her. And then these are all other relatives that I'm listing. She said, this is what I assumed, but Justin was a little confused. Said Mindy's Josh told him about it, and there was some speculation as the authenticity of the video. Oh my God. He asked me if you liked girls. I don't want to be the last to know if there was something to know about my children. Would you be a Paul Barrier? Whoa!

One time. Now they cleared that. That situation didn't care. And then it wasn't in the category of porn, was it? Oh, that's fantastic. Oh, my mom asked me if I was gay, if I would be a Paul Barrier for the death of my family, and if I had done porn. I think. She's like of course. It's not Well, I was like no it was a comedy video mom

She goes is that a note of the pulpit That's so great aren't you glad I stopped you from putting out that one R.T. Life video. Yeah, yeah Yeah, you should leave that hanging out there. Yes, we are Chris he said he said we're leaving hanging out there. No, but it is sort of those things too where it's like, I remember in high school, my mom came up to me at one point. She was like, you know, I just want to, you know, she asked me if I was gay.

And I was like, no, it's just like, it's okay if you are. I don't care. I love you anyway, but I just want to know. I was like, why do you think I'm gay? It's like, you never bring girls around. It's like, yeah are. I don't care. I love you anyway, but I just want to know. I was like, why do you think? Okay, it's like you never bring girls around. It's like, yeah, because I Be predicting them from you I'm like I like I'm gonna hang out with a girl It's I'm not gonna bring her home to where like I shared a room with my little brother I'm gonna like that's not good

yeah, my my brother Lynn, you know, you know like you know I never brought women around either you know to family things and the family started asking him like is Aaron is he? Is he And I thought so funny that they wouldn't even say that was like hmm and Lynn was like yeah Yeah, yes Yeah, it's really is and he has been for a while, he just, he's scared to tell you guys. And I hadn't gone to like a family thing in like a year or two or something like that. And so every time he kept asking like, they'd ask Lynn, like,

well, Zaryn found someone yet or whenever and like, no, he's looking for the right guy, you know, and stuff like that. And they're like, okay, all right, well, so fast forward a couple of years. I show up for a Thanksgiving and they're like, Aaron, so you met anybody lately and I was like, I mean, no, no, I'm really, I'm being really busy and I've been dating much. They're like, oh, we're roommate. Yeah, where do you like to go to meet people?

And I was like, I mean, you go to bars, you go to libraries and whatever. They're like, I don't know, you go to bars, you go to libraries, or whatever. And they're like, what are you going to any kind of like, I don't know, special bars? And I was like, yeah, yeah, sometimes I go to theme nights or whatever. And they're like, oh, okay, so theme nights, all right. Well, you go to cowboy type things,

or maybe it's a village people thing. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna go this, you know, like cowboy type things or maybe, you know, maybe it's a village people thing. And I'm like, yeah, I mean, I'd go this. Sounds awesome, you know, and they're just, I never knew. And I, and it went like, it was a couple, you know, it was probably Thanksgiving and Christmas that I had no idea that they, that they, you know, were thinking that. And then when I found out, like, I was like, man, should I just keep it going or what? Because I don't care, you know, either way.

And I was like, man, maybe I shouldn't then, I just, I don't think I ever cleared it up. But yeah, that's my great brother there. It's really funny. So brothers for four. That's what he's for. Yeah, absolutely. I just thought it was so good.

That's not like about Lynn is, he will instantly like validate any question. He jumps on anytime someone asks him something, is this happening? He'll, yeah. Yeah, without hesitation. So my brother does streaming with, you know, some people might know, he streams with John, quite often, whatever.

And yeah, man, he just, he commits to a bit unlike anyone I've ever seen, to where like, you will get lost in the truth so quickly, and he just loves that. I wish I could think of it. You may know an example. Well, like that time, I think we told the story in a podcast, wherever your landlord was trying to show your part. Oh, right. Right. And he said I was in. And they like, we couldn't get ahold of Aaron and you're listed the emergency number. What happened, Aaron? He was like, Oh, yeah, he's

in jail. Yeah, he's in prison. Sorry Yeah, and they thought that and they started moving on on getting rid of my apartment like they started busting into all like It's always stuff like that the way like I can't and the thing is is I can't lead well and now now Blaine's roped into this because Blaine was recently out of town and He said Aaron, you know, you know, I'd be out town for a little bit, make sure Lynn doesn't break into my apartment. And I said, I said, dude, I can't promise that. I mean, he might, like, it depends if he's bored or not. If he's bored, then you're, you know,

your apartment is, my as well, just leave the door open. You gotta print out like a picture of his face with the international no symbol. Yeah, it looks like it would be a no-word. No, no, it's funny too, when you were you were gone during self-self West and I was like, hey, because we had a friend coming into town to visit and I was like, hey, and he was asking to crash at my place. Like, Aaron's out of town.

Why don't we just, I was like, texted Aaron. I was like, hey, can we can so and so crash at your place? It's like, no, I don't have the key with me, but Lynn can open it. Yeah, Lynn can open it. He can break into it. Yeah, Lynn has all the lock picking stuff and all that stuff. Like he can, I mean, he can get into anything. It's scary.

Like I, so we got locked out of the YMCA, like we were, you know, going to the gym or something like that, and he locked his keys in his car. He went to the YMCA and he got, what did he get? He got maybe a coat hanger or something. And within five minutes, he broke into his own cop car. He went to the YMCA and he got, what did he get? He got maybe a coat hanger or something. And within five minutes, he broke into his own cop car. Like, I mean, he's not a cop, but he owns a cop car and he broke into it immediately. Without him thinking, he's like, all right, let's go home. And I was like, you're out of line. Also, everyone thinks

he's my older brother. He's my younger brother. I thought I was over. Yeah, right. Locks are interesting to me. Like, I can see why someone would get into wanting to break in. They're fascinating. Yeah, you trust so much of your, people trust all of their shit to be like secured by a lock. And you think about it, it's like, again, it's like this old technology that really fundamentally

hasn't changed in maybe a hundred years, right? And on cars, maybe it's a little different. The way this locking mechanism's work. But it's like, if you just learn one or two things about them, then there's nothing. Stop in you for opening it. You're just going in. That's why locksmiths have to be bonded

and all that stuff, because they have the info to get into anything. Right, I'm almost like, hasn't talked about it, but there was a craze for a while when people discovered bump keys, and if you remember that, like five years ago or so, which is like a key with,

basically it's kind of like loose teeth, and you put it in a lock, and you just kind of like shake it or knock on it a few times, and then it falls into place with the tumblers, and you can open. It's the fundamentals of a lock picking kit is having that, you know, a different size bump keys. Right, and it's like that you just like knock on it

a few times and keep twisting it, and then eventually it's like the tumblers fall right into place, and you can open up almost any lock. So like that was like, oh, like knock on it a few times and keep twisting it and eventually it's like, the tumblers fall right into place and you can open up almost any lock. So like that was like, oh, now you gotta get a lock that doesn't respond to bump keys and then it's like, well, there's always, there's always something else. And then at the very base, there's just like taking a door.

Right, yeah. Just like busting a door. Yeah, you think about where the latch connects to the door frame and typically those screws are like an eighth of an inch. There's an even latch is a half an inch or maybe an inch in. You just hit it with enough force. It's going to break. And even the door jam could just like smash through too.

Right. It's like you have or even even worse it's like someone just takes a rocket smash as your window. Right. Yeah. That's it. It's like there's you know yo I've got a great lock and all this like you still got windows like there's still it's like so many ways to get into or they or they slit your convertible top They just cut it with a razor blade like they we've all been there. Yeah, or you know or Motorcycle they could just jump on your motorcycle and take off with it that can't leave I've started I was parking my motorcycle out front and then the this guy got it stolen He's like yeah, all they could do is put a screwdriver and turn it and then they drive off and I was like what he's like Yeah, or they just load it in the back of a truck and leave and he's like

What and so I started parking in the garage, but like you're gonna die anyway before you That's not every time every time that motorcycle comes up people here's what the equivalent is someone died like two weeks ago And then two weeks before that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure someone died from a heart attack. Right. You know, more frequently than that. Or the like, is it a thing that we're going to do?

Yeah, but that's more of a natural race. Yeah, that's a natural. And we hamburgers every day as a choice too. Tell me it's not the same. Telling people you got motorcycles like going, Hey, Brian, I actually bought two cartons of cigarettes. I think I'm just gonna smoke them all tonight. It's good, good to be great. And you know, it's like, it's that face. It's like, Aaron, you know about cigarettes. I know about cigarettes. I know about motorcycles.

And it's, it's fun. Barbara was on, Barbara was not on the motorcycle the other day in case the donkelman's are watching. But if she had been, she would have had fun on it in the parking lot. I'd go on it in the parking lot i'd go on all say about that i would have been a part in the no christ you cannot drive the motorcycle now the way you drive you are guaranteed to die immediately on the motorcycle there is no great there will be no grace period for you it will be like you'll get on the motorcycle

but this is a and it's just and a flash and you know who they turned to when that happens me they go Aaron what you knew he could you know my friends and purchase toilets like no you didn't have been a ditch you would end up in a ditch yeah or an offense and then I get in trouble yeah I can't I'd be fine you could write a Vespa and you would look you'd you seem at home on a vest Did you ever try riding the motorcycles we used in immersion? Yeah, yeah, I did

Yeah, I did okay those are literally like a foot tall they're like they're like this high and there are no power My thing has the power of like a Honda and it weighs Well, it's got the it's got the horse power of a hundred. I don't know what that means. What does that mean? Well, it's got the horsepower of like a Honda. Okay. But it weighs. Well, Honda's big motorcycle too. That's why it's confusing. Oh, say a Honda Civic or something.

Okay. Like an old Honda Civic. It's got the talking about you had a Honda motorcycle. No, I have a car. That's how we get to it. Yeah, that's what I was talking about. So I've noticed that. I've changed that right.

But anyway, the bike only weighs 350 pounds. So, and a car weighs, you know, 10 times that. So you do that, and it's really, you know, fast. It's math. I feel like this is Aaron trying to describe his penis or something. It's like, it's really great, and it's really blue. It's blue and blue. It's got the power of a Honda Civic. It's like, no, no, no, look at Chris, if you get on it, you're going to wreck. I know, it's only, it's only it's it's yeah

It's only this big, but it the power It's got the power of on the Civic. Yeah, but it's only this big and I can't leave it out or it'll get stolen Just like you take up an entire parking space when you go out. Yes Of course because I need my space, but but it's nice and I don't have to pay for parking downtown or anything there's just the elevated risk of you know injuring myself on roadways oh so is there just parking anywhere for you you can just squeeze your motorcycle in anywhere down there yeah absolutely I park inside billion is right up I was thinking about riding it to set when I was on day

five I was thinking about riding it to set when I was on day five. I was thinking about writing it to set, like showing up kind of late and just driving right into the middle of the set and being like, what are we filming and getting off? And like, I wish we had bowl horns. We didn't have bowl horns, but that would have been such a Michael Bay move. That would have been cool. Dude, that's awesome. I, uh, because we lost Uber and Lyft, I walked downtown Saturday because I was like, I have no other option here.

And it was like 35 minutes. And then it's just 35 minutes to get downtown in the middle of 15. Then we went to the bar and for Blaine's birthday. And then immediately got there like, all right guys, we're going 10 blocks down to Barbara Ellis and I was like, motherfucker. So you were talking about cars.

You maybe want to think about something that I wanted to bring up this week on the podcast, which is I saw an auction online for, are you looking for a new car? I found a car for you, if you are. I wasn't, but tell me. A 1983 Rolls Royce was custom built into a station wagon. And it was modified to run on propane instead of gasoline. What? The only catch is that it's in Germany and it's going up for auction and they're expecting it to sell for about $29,000.

That's so cool. Which you could own a custom built Rolls Royce. Look at that, how do you? Look at that two-tone, P-Green and green. So you get one of those tanks. Like at the supermarket and just throw it in there. Rolls Royce. Well it was like a customer ordered it because the story is I don't know how true it is. The story is you'd have the Rolls Royce thing. The story is that he wanted a Rolls Royce to tow his race car. I have no idea why it's modified to run on propane, but.

There it is. Look, that's in good shape. You have a Rolls Royce for $200. And as soon as it needs an oil change, you go and it's $1,000. No, as soon as you have it, you have to spend another $30 grand on it. It's easy. Just because there'll be some vacuum hose that just explodes, you won't know why. And because it was custom built, right, you said?

Yeah. Rolls Royises are already custom built and have it custom built on custom built in by who's building on the time British something yeah yeah whatever whatever that thing is gonna just blow blow up it looks cool and I would totally have it doesn't even look cool now it's that's kind of cool it's cool you'd be like hey you want to ride my Rolls Royce? It's actually, you put a water bed in the back. You could go out like, to the ballet, which car here is the Rolls Royce?

What behind the station wagon? And you're like, it is a station wagon. It's not a station wagon, it's a Rolls Royce. It's a banging wagon. So just give us your number. Yeah, go. That's what that's all about. I would love to drive that car.

Oh, in that car. I'm sure you can't import it I'm sure it's like why not why I think you could it's always like weird laws about importing cars and yeah But but if it's older than something like 25 years old or something it does a lot of those laws don't Oh really yeah, yeah, that a lot of is exempt But you're still gonna have to hire a company to do it and yeah, yeah, I'm a brand. Yeah I wrote one of those bullshit trying to import a Toyota but yeah it's a really rare car no it's not Toyota should have let me import a Toyota station wagon you were I called Toyota US they told me call Toyota Canada I told Toyota Canada they called

told me to call Toyota Mexico Toyota Mexico told me to call to call Toyota. It's such an interesting story, Brandon. I'm just angry. I don't want to go into it because it's Fucking boring custom shit, but it just makes me so angry. How everybody is throwing me to another place. All right, I'm sorry. I'm done. Call the government.

If it's so hard, so I remember, you know, you talk about how Hard it is to import a Toyota. I think I read a story a few months ago about how governments were starting to wonder why it is that ISIS has so many Toyota trucks. Yeah. And every one of them is a Toyota truck. Right. So like people were starting to, like trying to, starting to question, how are they getting

so many Toyota trucks? And why is it always a Toyota truck that they have? Well, I'd read too that they'd gone to Toyota and been like, why is this Toyota? They're like, I don't know. Why is it? Like we'll help you out with whatever you need It's not like we're supplying ISIS. That's a little on the nose isn't it? Because it's so fucking hard to import a Toyota into the United States they have to go somewhere No, I used October 2015. It's a story here on ABC News on their websites

US counter-terror officials have asked Toyota the world's second largest automaker to help them determine how ISIS has managed to acquire the large number of Toyota picket trucks and as you've seen prominently in the terror groups propaganda videos in Iraq, Syria, Libya. Also, it's Tanger commercials. They're filmed in the mountains. I just, I just, I just, an opposing like car company just giving them Toyota. That would be Jesus. It's like negative propaganda. But the thing is, it's kind of an endorsement because they run through everything. It's like, you know, I-E-D, in the desert, hit by NATO forces. Toyotas there.

And we'll keep you running. It's like, I'm gonna get a Toyota. Look at that guy. He's got an AK-47 Toyota. That's awesome. They did, they like mounted anti-aircraft guns on the back of it. You ever see when they shoot?

Yes, exactly. You ever see when they yes exactly you ever see when they shoot those anti aircraft uh... omit the whole truck like lurches back it just makes sense though if they're shooting a k forty sevens and you know stuff like time to stop people like humbys because they're like a yeah this they're just going to keep

going they're gonna keep going it's like you know top gear always that stuff with the toy to highlights which is the the Toyota truck you know they drop it off buildings they you know take it a volcano is whatever well it just keeps running and if you're fighting uh you know an international war you got a you got to have something that's dependable what did the Libbyans have and back to the future oh that van but it was like a van it might have been a toyot a van or was it a Volkswagen yeah but. It might have been a Toyota van, or was it a Volkswagen van? Yeah, but they were in, maybe we wanted to get a van.

They were totally in a car that they would not be in. It was a Volkswagen. It was a Volkswagen, yeah. It was a Volkswagen or a Toyota. Yeah, it's like two-tone blue and white. Yeah, that's so funny you remembered that. But yeah, that'd be funny if they were all in those vans though, like back to the future.

Yeah, it made it look good. Yeah, yeah, look great. You're Libby and you had a represent. I was thinking about, oh I'm sorry then. Yeah, you hold that thought. I got one more thing to read here. I want to remind everyone that this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by Harry's. Stop compromising on your shave and get started with Harry's. For far too long, you've either paid too much for a comfortable shave or you've settled for a low price, low quality razor. Harries offer something you've never had before, a great shave at a fair price. Harries makes its own high quality razors, cuts out the middleman and ships them directly to you for half the price of a leading brand. Good shave, good price, it's simple. Get the best of both with Harries.

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today. I traveled overseas with this razor because I like it so much to shave up or clean up my beard. What's your current facial? I got to like shave all in here. Oh yeah. I have a shave all in here. No, but is this the current design layout you're going with? Yeah, that's what's on my face. Yeah, no, but I mean like did you transition to this or have you been doing this for a while? I mean, it's only been like nine years. No, every now and then you do something different. No, every now and now I used to shave it, but that's been like two or three years since I've done that. Well, I'm sure you get the most behind man. It's been five years or two or three years.

I don't know when that was. It was longer and five years, probably. It's been longer, too. Yeah, I mean, I don't think I've moved like two years ago. I've never questioned your facial hair. Right. I do from time to time. I just don't tell you about that.

There is that one short where you happen to shave the day we were doing pickups when we put mascara. Oh, yeah. That was an episode of Emerge. No, no, no, no. It was that reunion short. Yeah. Because I think we had to film.

Oh, right. We had a film a scene that wasn't in the, that we filmed the, that we had a film a scene that was for the web version only. That might have been like the last time that I fully shaved everything. You're like, yeah, because I don't want it. I'm not getting mascara all over my face again. Nobody noticed.

Don't notice now. Yeah, they know this now. I notice now when I look at it. Oh my god. That's all I can look at. Yeah, it's only one shot. No, no, it's like it's a whole scene with Gavin. Yeah.

Oh man, I don't remember. It's a scene where it's like Gavin's got sticky notes with dicks or something and you're wearing mascara as a beer. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they's a scene where it's like Gavin's got sticky notes with dicks or something and you're wearing mascara as a beer. Oh, right Yeah, they have it here Like David Blaine or something close up to later. It's like you can clearly tell No, see you obviously shoot it to not show my You obviously shoot it. Yeah, frame it tonight. I think yeah God that's terrible It's funny when you do stuff like that and people don't understand what the reason was but they notice something's different

Like what's wrong with Gus's face like yeah, they can't exactly pinpoint it Yeah, they just think it's something naturally that's just distorted my face There's a lot of really wrong my face already so it's like there's nothing additional Something especially wrong with his face this week. I don't know what what we're gonna say. I cut you off before the Harry's thing Oh, I was thinking about putting a deposit on for the Tesla But then Jordan convinced me not to because of basically you and him Why did he convince you not to what does that mean mean? That's opposite of what he told me. If I would get, I was thinking like,

well, if I get it now, he was like, well, you wouldn't get it until like six months after like Gus and I and everybody else. So you come to the office really excited to talk about it and everybody would be like, oh my God, that's the last year. I think at this point it would be way longer than six months. Yeah, I think it's gonna be like, I have no one that I could share this joy with.

I go to Paula, I'd be like, look, it's self, she'd be like, I don't, it's a robot. Yeah, he was trying to convince me to do it like the day after. And I thought about it, because I love cars that drive themselves and stuff. I can't believe you didn't do that. How did you not do that? I just don't care about cars.

I didn't want to spend much money on a car. But you wouldn't put like a thousand dollars down right now. You would have spent what, it's 30, it's gonna be 30 grand, 30 grand? It's gonna start at 35. That I, I just don't like spending money on cars. I don't like cars. Yeah, I don't like cars.

I think spending money on cars is also dumb. I think like cars are, as a general rule, like a terrible investment thing to be. Terrible thing to be. Terrible thing to be. Depreciate instantly. Right, but I, this one's not like a crazy amount of money, and I feel like it's a car you could ideally use for a while,

and if you're also cutting out gasoline, it kind of like plays into that as well. Seat. And by the time it comes out, my current car's probably gonna be a little older and ready for replacement. I mean, what makes it me feel bad? No, no, no, what I'm guessing?

I'm thinking for not pre-ordering it. No, no, no, no. You care about the self-driving aspect. What I'm guessing is by that point, either Uber or Google, there's basically gonna be a subscription service to self-driving cars. So instead of buying a car and buying insurance,

you pay this much money every month and you have all the self-driving car cab rides, basically. Yeah, that'd be awesome. And that's what you care about. You don't care about the car, you just care about the things. I really don't care about the car. Well, I also like the idea of a car that's like, you know, electronic versus like gas power.

I think that's cool. I like all the idea of a Tesla. I just don't care about cars. Yeah. I was just thinking of the subscription service aspect of it. Like, what if you lost your credit card and they tried to charge it while you're on like a road trip and like you're in the middle you're You're driving and you're just like waiting but like you hadn't made a payment unknowingly in like a month

And you're just kind of like asleep in the car and it just like cancels your auto drive And the car just goes running off the road and you're like what the fuck happened? I would the smart thing to do would be it would then detour you to the closest office Yeah, it's like you're like, it locks the doors and stuff. It's like, please pay immediately. You're like, I'm good for it, I swear. Or like when the cab's drive you to an ATM when you don't have any cash in their credit card.

Or the stripper takes you to the ATM and demands that you take out the cash. But with self driving cars, how much do you think you're going to pay for 35,000 dollars to me, and I think I would personally not ever have a self driving car. But that seems like a good price. You're not going to get one of those for 20 grand. You're not going to get a self driving car. I don't think people are going to own self driving cars. There's too difficult to maintain and probably to program.

It's going to be a completely subscription service. Why is it too difficult to maintain? I want to drill into this, the first thing you said. Why is it too difficult to maintain? I want to drill into this, the first thing you said. Why is it too difficult to maintain? You know, what if you're driving and there's a bump and something moves, you know, and it's gonna be like, What's a car? It's a car, all cars.

Yeah, but the sensitivity, I mean, if one little thing is off, you know, It's simply when like your pistons firing or your spark plugs, there's a lot of stuff that can go wrong in your car. Yeah, it's just like, every now and then to handle this shit and potholes, it's a lot of stuff that can go wrong in your car. And it's just like every now and then to handle this shit and potholes, it's a consumer product. All you're talking about, there's a lot of things that can happen in your car, where it's like, all right, go at some point and get this looked at.

If a component on a self-driving car stops working or is messed up, you, it's, I'm not, you're not going to get in that. Then you get a self-towing tow truck to come and take you to the self-fixing car about a computer thing and cars already have computers and computer issues are so rare in cars but the thing is it's not just a computer issue the computer issue relies on a physical object like they have a computer an apparatus all no no no let's say it is a case that's with like a physical apparatus on the top of your car that's that there's a case now It's a failure. That's the case now Brandon. We shouldn't have fuel injection in cars

That's just another point of faith. It's more fuel line It's going and there's a computer regulating the amount of fuel it just give me a carburetor and a screwdriver That's why I want to drive my car There are many things have gone wrong in your car where you're like all right eventually I got to take this in I'm telling you something goes wrong on yourself to your even car This that is not something that you It's anybody who's had a car ask Aaron his car breaks every Me into this no that is honestly

Don't miss the ever heard yeah That is honestly the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, it's not that- It's gonna be a consumer product that's designed to be driven and if something's wrong, you take it to the fucking mechanic. Like the car you drive now. Something goes wrong, you take it to get it fixed. There are more things as the car's developed- If you're a driver, it's a cable-

It's a cable- It's a cable- It's a cable- It's a cable- And if you're talking about something that has to drive itself if one little sensor is off Oh like they could have designed the car to account for that Well, no, I'm they should probably a light that says you fuck you I'm gonna do some right now the wheel bearing on your Honda on the front right is very loose You didn't know that but I've known it that wheel can pop off at any time. Did you know that?

When when did you see that well now? I'm telling you but I noticed it Uh, uh, uh, uh, the other day I heard it squealing if that pops off you have three wheels on your car And you know what's gonna happen? You're gonna go You can't drive your car. It's not gonna be able to move by the way You need to change that wheel bearing Make it take wheel bearing No, I'm just

Let me tell you what you're doing Let me tell you what you're done. Okay, go ahead first of all I'm getting loud. I need a stopping loud. You don't know anything about cars. I snuts you don't know you don't know anything about cars I know why I know stuff about cars now is because they work like planes because it's driving by wire They're all electronic. I just bought a car. I know when you break you're not actually doing anything physical It's the computer That's why you know about cars now. It's the computer. Yeah, I mean, it's because like in I learned all about flying by wire and all the plane shows He doesn't know about that. First of all, you just said Computers or cars are all driven through computers. Yes The reason you don't want to drive a self-driving car is because it's controlled by a computer

No, not because it's controlled by a computer because that computer relies much more on physical pieces of equipment and Like my car now the thing he's worried about and I'm gonna try to still his fear He's worried about the cameras and the sensors on the car breaking is that correct Brendan? the sensors on the car breaking. Is that correct, Brandon? You said the thing right now, right? Right, right, right. So that's the point you're worried about.

So from a safety perspective, you will not get in a self-driving car? No, I'm just saying there's more points of failure than with another car. And if something fails, I don't think you fuck with it. The car just doesn't drive itself anymore. Whereas in a regular car something goes wrong It's like all right, you know just eventually take this in and get it looked at like if I have one little error light in a self-driving car

I was just gonna stop it's gonna stop though. It's just gonna go And stop because they're gonna know they're like there's gonna be some crazy asshole as soon as you see the error I was gonna freak out and they'll just have a Internal thing that shuts down the car and it'll just go to the side anyway. It's in any component that doesn't work, it'll stop. And also, I don't think it'll have sensors that are not just like GPS satellite stuff, a lot of that, it'll go to manual mode and like no. I'm not trying to say I'm afraid I'm gonna die.

What I'm saying is it's more annoying because if anything goes wrong, the car becomes unusable. And there's more points of failure that to build. Well, people have been saying that people, as technology gets added to cars, and as it's been happening over decades, I'm sure people have thought that every single time. Every single time a new piece of technology comes around

and gets added to a car, someone says, oh, well, great, well, if that new piece of technology gets broken, now my car's worthless. And now I can't fix it. And that was like the big thing when cars went from, and added fuel injection in all these onboard computers. Like now it wasn't, like I used to drive an old car, right? And it's like I kept a toolbox in the bed on my truck and I was like, if something breaks,

I'll just pop up the hood, I'll fix it where I am on the side of the road. You can't do that. It realistically anymore was a more modern car. But this is just the next extension of that, I'm on the side of the road. You can't do that. It realistically anymore with a more modern car. But this is just the next extension of that. Where it's like further removal of the driver as someone who can work on the car. No, I get that.

It's the same way it's the same way. Every technology, dude. Because our car has sensors too that helps you break. Like the car will break itself if the things you're going to crash. But if those things stop working, I don't, it doesn't matter. I mean, it's just the danger and requiring on not not computers, companies, your interfaces, but physical things on the car. Companies like Mercedes, right, for a number of years now, which are developing

their own self driving car, but they've had, uh, that would sell for what tumors, they've had a system. They've had a system on their car that detects if you're falling asleep. It's dozens their car that detects if you're falling asleep it's dozens of sensors that detects if you're falling sleep they've had a for a number of years now if those systems were to fail you know and think you were asleep the car would you know warn you or shut down or whatever

well those things don't fail that often you know and that's it's the same thing it's because it's a clear is to Chris is jackass comment uh... i believe mercenaries is selling those vehicles to uber but i could be wrong i want to say is driving that whatever whatever you are worried about brandon yeah stupid someone else is worrying about it yes and make creating a solution for it

and you need to get that wheel bearing fixed that otherwise you're gonna die without a computer i think that was a while ago oh maybe i got to fix. All right. Well, it's time to wrap this up. Finally. One, thank you for watching. I do not want to thank Brandon for being here.

He ruined it in the last five minutes. I thought that was good. No. We'll see you guys next time. I'm really sorry for Brandon. Yeah. We are too. I thought we should.

I. We are too. I thought we should. Do you like apples? Describe the show to a newcomer and a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Alright, example. Together in Trempathos, Characombs, Characombs are free of Diaz of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster-teeths cryptic podcast. F**k face. Call to action.

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