Rooster Teeth Podcast - We Like Mad Gus - #491

Episode Date: May 8, 2018

Join Gus Sorola, Geoff Ramsey, and Burnie Burns as they discuss home ownership, dating today, blood incidents, and more on this week's RT Podcast! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only only on peacock. Oh, you're... Ah! No. Hey, everyone. Hey. Hey. Podcasts this week brought to you by Betterment, E-Harmony, and Hymns. I'm Gus. Object. What'd Iy and hymns. I'm Gus Object. What I miss. I'm Bernie as well. You didn't miss anything. What did you miss from what? Oh, I missed about 500 episodes Well, don't exaggerate. It's been only about three 70. 370 episodes. Gus is still very upset with his iPhone

Okay, Gavin is still bad at explaining things. I had to go to the bathroom and then when I I We moved and I didn't know where it was. I'm sorry, we should, we forgot to forward that. I appreciate it. I got something today that kind of scared the shit out of me. What's that? Cancer? That would scare the shit out of me. But no, it wasn't cancer.

It's the, the, the business equivalent of that, I think though. I got a certified letter from the IRS. Why the fuck? Am I getting that? Turns out I owed them some money from last year. And so I paid that right away. As soon as I got it. Because you're saying they sort of,

they send you certified letters. They don't call you from like weird blocked numbers, asking you to go buy iTunes gift cards to pay them back. I've been paying the IRS wrong for years. From an Indian call center somewhere. Have you heard some of those like those calls where they go after people. There's one guy in particular on YouTube

who will lean into those and impersonate the person he was imitating as a great old lady voice. And this guy was just bullying the shit out of what appeared to be an old lady trying to get her to like send him money. She's gonna go to fucking jail and everything else. I'm not gonna scams stuff. I'm assuming it's a scam. So. Yeah, those scams are everywhere I'm assuming it's a scam. So.

Yeah, those scams are everywhere. Yeah, it's unbelievable how many I get, you know, in a given week. It's like the IRS is calling me. My fucking auto warranty is expired. Do you answer every time? No. I've started to because I used to just let it go to voicemail

and then if I don't get a voicemail, I know it's trash, but I didn't answer and it was like a school thing and I needed, they needed my attention. So now I feel like I have to answer the phone every time because I got a kid. I read a story actually the other day, I think yesterday on the New York Times,

they were talking about how the federal government, the FTC realizes what a big problem this is, and they tell this one anecdote about this surgeon who's the same situation where he's like, he's getting so many junk calls that he doesn't answer his phone. And he said, he can't do that anymore, because one time he declined to call, he thought it was a junk call.

And it was an OR calling him to reattach someone's thumb. And he missed the call. I'm surprised he even told that story. Right. He didn't even have that story to tell. But I guess it was delayed. He waited. They left the voicemail.

He saw the voicemail. Then he went in. But it's like, you're delaying treatment for something that's potentially super time sensitive. It's fucking awful. I wrote what I thought was a fairly funny tweet on Friday, some time, about my phone, little script between me and my phone,

about how my phone doesn't tell me when I have a call. It just tells me that I missed a call. That's what it does. It's just a little funny little anecdote. Jeff, no big deal, just a little tweet. Just, I know I saw it, no big deal. Did- Vittriol.

Why? Vittriol in their flies. Why? What do you think, dude? Why do you get, what do you get a real fucking book? Because you have, she fucked up, I was like, dude, come on, seriously. It's like, is this what you're really?

Well, here's what I would have responded. I saw what phone do you have? You have a pixel too. I'm a spoke, it was a pixel too. That's exactly what. My phone was that, it was whatever your phone is. It was with your phone. Yeah, I hate whenever I make- When your brain loyalty become brain-angry. Whenever I make a spoke it was a pixel to exactly was that did was whatever your phone is with your phone is yeah I hate whenever I make brain loyalty to be can brain anger whenever I make a generic tweet or generic statement about mobile phones

That's applicable to either platform and we're like oh it's cuz you shitty I was like I get I was shitty I understand white shitty, but if I'm complaining about something that's a problem for you also don't say it's a fucking I always problem like auto Correct I'm a person everywhere don't fucking come at me for iOS bullshit. I like how you feel right now, dude. You fell straight into it, that was it. Dude, this is a bubble, you hit a nerve. Yeah, yeah, it's like, I'm sure you get all the time

for this fucking Xbox stuff, right? What else are you mad about? There you go. I'm out about a lot of stuff. Tell me. We'll get there. We got an hour and a half. Why am I gonna use it all the first time?

I like Mad Gus. Oh God. Let's talk about the iPhone. I going to use it all the first time? I like Mad Gus. Oh, God. Let's talk about the iPhone. That's fucking, the Vixen matter than anything else on my planet, which is I hope you never switch. I hope you buy extra iPhones in the future because it's fucking hilarious when you're mad about it.

Oh, you know what he's doing? You know what he's doing? Oh, God. I think he might know. He's remodeling. He's remodeling. He's doing a renovation. I know. This motherfucker.

It's great. This is like the next two years of this spot Gus is in ability to manage contractors to be fair. Yes, like I'm just fine. Everything's going okay. It's just yeah I was at day four. It's just the memory of a past wait till it rains What's and then you'll be it'll be a nightmare? They won't show up for four weeks and you'll be, you'll have a missing wall. I remember the last time. I lived it, I was there.

On deal with the thing, why should say, my ex is dealing with it and Griffin's dealing with it where they discovered some damage in the studio and they, we pulled it up and realized that the contractors used untreated wood when they reinstalled the floors and stuff in our studio. And it all rotted and we had to replace the whole thing and some of the walls now because the rot got up

into the walls. All because the contractors we used used untreated pine. It seems like that's a no-brainer, right? Like they're in a pile next to each other. It's like, which one do you want? Uh-huh. Is it going on the ground with ground stuff? It's probably used to treat it one.

Yeah, yeah. You would think so. You would think so you would think so Then that's why you hire professionals right because they should hire professionals Yes, it was like friends No, no, it was people. I don't remember how we found them. This was these are people to put the second floor on so they were Professionally vetted probably like Angie's list or something. I don't remember how I found them Sure, probably yeah, hopefully this podcast is not brought to by Angie's list. Mm, I don't remember how I found them. Sure, probably. Yeah, hopefully this podcast is not brought to you by Angie's list.

Mm-hmm. Is it? No, it's fine. Uh, yeah, I fucking hate that shit. It's like you, you bring someone in, like if you know your, over your head, you know you can't do it right, you bring someone in, you trust that they have the experience and they know how to do it right. Yeah.

And then they still fuck it up. I hate that shit. Well, what it is, is they wanna get the job and then they balance it with like eight other jobs and then you have to wait your turn even though that wasn't part of the initial conversation. It's what always takes place. Yeah, yeah.

Higher contractor, higher general contractor. I'll tell you who you should hire. You're being buckser all you can do it. Whoever is the people, like I live in a, like I rent a condo now. Whoever the people are that do the management of that condo. Did I tell you the story about how the condo flooded? No.

Yeah. So you're like on the billion floor. I'm on the billion floor, yeah. I was gone for like a week or two weeks traveling and when I'm not there, Millie's not there, right? So the place is empty. Oh. And so I was like 10 days, I was gone. I got home, I picked up Millie, right? So the place is empty. Oh. And so I was like 10 days I was gone.

I got home, I picked up Millie, we came to the place, had a Friday there, it was totally fine. Saturday evening, Millie comes in and she goes, Hey, I spilled some water or something in my closet and I just, it's a little bit more than I can clean up. I don't know what to do. And I was like, okay. Let me take a look at it.

I spilled water in a closet. I walk into her closet. She like, I think I like, I think I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, and she likes to sit in there and like, okay. Let me take a look at it. Spill water in a closet. I walk into her closet. She like, I think I like it. She's like a walk, she's like a walk in closet. Okay. And she likes to sit in there and like, watch shit on her phone or whatever. Yeah, it's her space, right?

It gets a further away from me. I was gonna say it. More doors. And more doors, yeah, it's more doors. There's a bathroom to get to the, yeah, it's extra doors. And, and she's, I don't know, I don't know what's going on in there. I don't wanna know.

But I get in there and they're standing water in the entire closet. What? Like, like how much? Standing like, I like up my shoe. Jesus. Like I thought my, like I thought it was gonna crest my fucking toes. And I go, I don't know what did you spill and she goes, I don't remember spilling anything but I don't know what it is.

And I go, this is a leak. This isn't, you know how this is not spilling? You didn't do this. She's like, oh, thank God, I thought I was screwed. I thought I was in so much trouble. Oh, and I go, yeah, I don't know how a human being could spill this much water without a hose. And so I start looking and I find it's like seeping in

from like a point in the wall. And I go, damn, all right. When did you find that? When did you notice this? Because we've been home for a while and she goes, well, I noticed it yesterday when we got home. And I go like 24 hours ago yesterday, she goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was like 24 hours ago.

And I told me now, it's just like, I was just building up courage. I don't know if I figured out, but I didn't want to get more trouble. And I'm like, you just did 24 hours more damage to the place. I'm like, we won't tell them that part. And so. I'm like, you just did 24 hours more damage to this place. I'm like, we won't tell them that part.

And so, I'm talking. Yeah, well, so my condo, they have a thing where you submit a work order, and you can mark it as normal or like, holy shit, I just flooded an apartment. Have a number to call? Well, they have a web portal, and I want to use technology in the way it's made. They tell you to use it, so I'm like, this is a Saturday.

I say, I'm gonna use the appropriate measures. So I submit the ticket, I mark it as, holy shit, this is a big deal. Couple hours go by, I go to leave, I go through my inshawai, and I notice that my hardwood floors are like this. I'm like, oh shit, it's not just in a closet, and I realize it's gone through her closet and into the inshawai, and it's fucked up all the hardwood, and like this. I'm like, oh shit, it's not just in a closet. And I realize it's gone through her closet and into the inshawaii.

And it's fucked up all the hardwood. And it's all bubbling up. And I'm like, ooh, still haven't heard anything. So I submit another ticket. I have a Saturday night eat dinner, go to bed, whatever, get up Sunday and I'm like, man, I still haven't heard from these motherfuckers. So I go downstairs to the front desk and I go,

hey, I'm submitting these work tickets and nobody's responding to me. And they go, oh, we don't check this on the weekend. I'm like, why the front desk and I go, hey, yeah, I'm submitting these work tickets and nobody's responding to me and they go, oh, we don't check those on the weekend. Oh my God. Why do you have an emergency? I don't see, yeah. Why does it say, what do you A tell me to use it and B tell me if it's an emergency click this,

if you're not even gonna look at it, it's on Monday and she goes, yeah, that's a good point. And, uh, surprise that never came up. And, uh, anyway, so they came out the fire alarm. They came and saved money. Found out that there was a pipe that burst above my room. That usually does it. Yeah, and it flooded everything.

But I, Monday morning, I gave them permission to enter. I came home Monday night. The entire thing was fixed. Yeah, yeah. Brand new hardwood, new carpet, new, the walls had been fixed. They cut a hole in the ceiling and replaced it. Probably with treated pine. Probably a treated pine.

And it was, and I never saw anybody. I never had to sign anything. I never had to talk in a phone with anybody. I just went to work with a, like in a river, and I came home to a perfect place. Does he have to like dry that shit out? They did come by Sunday morning and put a dryer. After I talked to them, they came by and put a dryer

in her closet. He got like a fan. Yeah, like a fan thing. Right, yeah. And so, and they just said shut the door, don't touch it. And so I, by the time I got home Monday night, they had removed it. Yeah. It was awesome.

So I can find out who those people are. Yeah, if I ever have to remove water, if that's part of my remodel, I was, I was very enough. I mean, they fixed the floor, they put a hole in the ceiling, fixed the ceiling. They put a hole in the ceiling? Well, they had to get to the pipe. That's a very special skill set. I need someone who could put a hole in the ceiling, and fixed the ceiling. They put a hole in the ceiling? Well, they had to get to the pipe. That's a very special skill set. I need someone who could put a hole in my ceiling.

And then fix the hole. Oh, okay, you didn't mention that part. That's the tough part. Yeah, you just set put a hole in the ceiling. And fix the hole. I can put a hole in the ceiling. I'm gonna mag get to you in three weeks. I got a couple of the jobs.

I'm pretty backed up right now. And so, Moniel's often complaining about not being able to afford a house in their 20s, which by the way, nobody can afford a house in their 20s. Jeff is literally, it's the reason why I know you is because Jeff could afford a house in his 20s. And I didn't know how, and you had it through the VA, VA Home Loan, but that was a shitty loan.

I mean, that was a good loan in 1999 when I bought that. That's true. But it was a 7% interest. That was a good interest in I was amazed when you got that I know because the industry like the average was like eight or I got for six and the average was seven but But Parents by the way had a home in the 80s is adjustable rate in Houston when the busted and it went to 13 and a half percent Jesus house on a credit card. Oh God

I had to get out of that thing fast It went to 13.5%. Like Jesus. A house on a credit card. Oh God. They had to get out of that thing fast. That was insane. That was where you grew up. Yeah, I was house you grew up. And we had to move like my junior year in high school because there's just like couldn't stay in that house. Yeah, that's rough.

Yeah, sucked. So I mean, just for reference, I think a lot of people don't own homes. They don't know. Nowadays, you probably spend what between four and a half, 5% would be good. Yeah, I'd say four and a half. Yeah. Yeah, I mean they got down to like two Well, it depends on what you want to do like a 15 year fix Do you probably get in the mid threes maybe this was the financial podcast here?

For our listeners who may not know you were talking about how it's hard and you don't millennials complain about not having a house in their 20s I was gonna counter by saying I had one, and it's not the, ultimately I don't think the VA home one was a big like really helped me. It's just not that hard to own it. It's not as hard to own a house as you think it is. I made $8 an hour working for Tele Network when I got that house.

Yeah, like I just bought a house with them, I means. Yeah, which is, you know, this is a nice house. Could start a house, get a start at some point. The big intimidation factor for a lot of people is just finding, gathering up the money for a down payment or like to be able to start that process and get into it. The point I was gonna make though is, also it's an overrated process owning your own home.

Like look at your experience. I don't know that I'm gonna, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm renting, well I, you know, figure my life out. I don't know that I'll buy another home though. Yeah. It's one of these things is like the American Dream is you have to own your own house. You actually, you actually really don't.

That also, I was reading about this a while back to the idea of the American Dream was manufactured in the 1950s. It didn't exist before then. And we're the only country in the world that thinks you need to own your own home. It's very uncommon. Do you ever step on Heflinger?

Yeah, very well. Yeah, I had a great conversation with him years ago about this. And he was just like, everybody in Europe thinks you guys are crazy for being obsessed with buying your own homes. None of us do that. Yeah, very few places in other parts of the world. We'll do that.

It's almost as if there was an industry that sprung up that encouraged us all to do something and everyone did it. Are diamond engagement rings, are they big everywhere else too? Was that just a US thing? I think that's really a US thing. I think that's also a much more recent thing than we realized. I think that's like from the 30s and the 40s.

I think it's like a 30s and 40s. Yeah, I think that's not a very longstanding tradition. Yeah, and it was manufactured. Yeah, that's true. The demand. What's mostly the beard has? The beard controls all the fucking diamonds. Vaults of diamonds that they just keep in vaults

to maintain scarcity. But it's like, they're making those fake diamonds now. They're like the lab meat, which is a big revolution in tech now. They're making that like $30,000 stake, that'll be a $50 stake in 10 years. But it's meatless meat or what? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Organismless meat? Is that, I wonder about that. Like, how fatty is it? Can you request like, I want extra marbling in my printed meat? Sure. Yeah, organism like me is that I Like I wonder about that like how fatty is it can you request like I want extra marbling in my printed meat sure? Yeah, why not or like if you're getting like printed chicken It's like I want put me up some dark meat or like Print me up a breast Like how do you how do you choose because there's like so many? Like qualities that go into meat like as far as the taste and the texture and like like what is this?

It's just like a middle of the road meat or can you like customize it a little bit? Y'all don't know, you don't have any in a $15,000 state. I really am, but I really hit the complete limit of my knowledge on lab meat. At the very end, I'm pretty fast. Yeah. Well, I have questions.

I was thinking about that new Donald Glover video. Yeah, have you seen, I have seen it. Yeah, that's good. I have watched now at West's recommendation and Gus's consistent Recommendation I have watched the first season of Atlanta. I would like it so happy when you're texting me the other day You're watching it. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, I've seen season two yet. Yeah, I love season two is very different in the season one It is I thought it was up and down very up and down I thought episode one of season two was one of the best things I've ever seen I'm in I thought the

The one where Derrick goes to get the piano was fucking amazing. I haven't seen that one yet. Okay. I'm only four episodes into season two. It might be like five, it may be like episode five or so. And I honestly, I wasn't crazy about two through four, but one was so fucking good.

Yeah, Atlanta's amazing. It's one of my favorite TV shows. It made me a fan of Cat Williams as a series that. God, he's so good. He's phenomenal. He's really, really, really good. He really is. He plays that character in he's so good. He's phenomenal. He's really, really, really good. He really is. He plays that character in that role unbelievably well.

Yeah. Fuck. I thought, I in particular loved the network episode where it was like, he's like BET and they're paired up with fake commercials and everything like that. That was fucking amazing. The talk that Charlie Rose style thing.

Yeah. I watched that episode like four times. It was. It was so good. Really well thing. Yeah. I watched that episode like four times. It was so good. Really well done. Yeah. It's so stand alone in the evening within the first season. That the first season's all over the place.

But it really is. It's all over the place, at least on a very high quality consistent basis. Did you guys see Donald Glover on SNL this weekend? I haven't seen it yet. I recorded it. I'm watching it. Well, the best episodes of SNL I'll see you

in a long time, almost every single time. But I keep hearing that about SNL. Starlink everyone was good time, almost every season. But I keep hearing that about S&L. Sterling K. Brown was good. What's up? I keep hearing that about S&L. Like the recent episodes, people are saying, this is the best one I've seen him forever.

I think S&L's been fairly awesome for the last probably eight, nine years. I consider myself a huge fan. I watch every week. I wouldn't say that the season's any better, worse than previous seasons, but that episode specifically was very, very good. Really? Yeah. I just don't that the seasons any better or worse than previous seasons, but that episode specifically was very, very good.

Really? Yeah. I just don't know what Jay Brown was doing. But the Donald Lover one was like, it was impressive. Like he, the whole point of it, like his opening model of all this stuff was just about how he auditioned twice and didn't get the role even though he's like in a triple threat because he can,

well, he's got a funny joke about that too. But like, and so it's just like, I get the impression that he's like, and I'm still pissed about it, and I get the impression there was some honesty there. And so he really knocked it out of the park. It's good. In the net guy. In the net guy.

I mean, if you go back early enough on the podcast, you can probably see us talking about Donald Glover. Yeah, Derek Comedy. And I remember we might have talked about him because everyone called him Derek because he was on that with, gosh uh, gosh, why are there names escaping? Those Ellie Kemper was on it. Ellie Kemper was on it. She was on it. And the other two dudes who's the guys that weren't Donald Glover. No, no, no, I'm totally blank. It was a mystery team.

Mystery team. Yeah. Mystery team was the was the movie. They had the, you remember it was the The chemistry team was the movie. They had the, you remember it was the, Bell and Bellany, was that the, DC Pearson, God, I don't know what it was, blanking so hard. I don't know why. In the film, that was the best episode of Darecom. I don't remember that.

They had the high school film class and they had to show their high school films and his just about how his girlfriend was a slut. Or I kept threading through all of that. Everyone's, God, so fucking funny. What the fuck, Bellany? It's great. I also love the way he goes and he stands up and it's like,

then the whole, get to go watch it. All Derek Comedy stuff is really, really fucking funny. Yeah. And I thought that Mystery Team was good. I went to the Alamo when it came around. I was working downtown, right? When that came out. I probably saw.

That was back in the days when it was like, it was like Derek Comedy, Bratz and Beretta and the ball sacksbury people, do you remember that? We used to watch that all the time. You remember that. I don't remember what that group was called. Yeah, I remember also called humor, prank horse. Oh yeah, that was, yeah.

I've watched that all the time. I might even get a little before prank horse. Get lost and like, it a good internet sketch comedy. There's a group called, Mr. Potato Manor, it's not right, something potato, iron potato. Iron Potato. Oh, they made samzis, which is probably one of the best internet shorts ever.

It's about a group of cavemen that love having sex with each other and they've realized that, no, we got to have sex with opposites, like women have to have sex with men and men have to have sex with women. And because samzis doesn't make people, and there's not enough people. And it's just really funny. Mr. Iron Potato.

Mr. Iron Potato. That's what it is. Yeah. people. And it's just really funny. Mr. Armpitado. Mr. Armpitado. That's what it is. God, so it's really fucking funny. It's like, we can't do same-says for a while. It's came a good, I love same-says. We all love same-says. Yeah. And it's just like, it's just cut this argument

about not having, not being able to have gay sex. And they're all furious about it. It's just really fucking funny. Yeah. I never thought about that. About same-says in the whole, long time. Yeah. It's really fucking funny. Yeah, I never thought about that. It seems he's in the long time. Yeah, I just looked like, literally, I think if you only video on that channel, they made the one video and they're like,

might drop in there out. Yeah. You ever watch Chris and Jack stuff at all? No. Man, they did some really funny stuff too. Your buddy, Dante, that came and did some age stuff with you guys? Dante Basko?

Yeah, he was in one of their things. Anyway, they do really funny stuff. Like, I think the one you might have seen Gus is perfectly timed villain. Have you ever seen that one? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we've heard him. Yeah, this is really fucking funny. Yeah, that's a good one.

It's cool. I saw Ren was making a PUBG video. I can't wait to see what that's going to be. Remember Ren the Reaper from Mac. Mac and the old RT community days. He's like one of the main dudes, a quarter of a digital man. Really? Yeah.

One other piece of ice before we get too far away from millennials or future homeowners. If you have any fucking problems with water... If you care water. Dress them immediately. Yeah, if you're feeling water and you shouldn't be hearing water, investigate that. Even if you hear water, you think you might supposed to be hearing it,

still investigate it. And if you have a kid, just assume that they flooded their closet. Yes. Like once a week. There's also very few things you can do in your house that you can set them in a way that they just start to continually cost you money. And water is one of those things. And it's surprising when you turn a faucet on and don't turn it off, the enormous amount of money. It's more expensive easily than electricity to leave that thing running. And especially if it's literally going down the drain,

that's the money going with it. I learned a very valuable lesson when I moved out of my previous house, Jeff. Okay. I decided, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna hold onto this house and I'm gonna rent it and I'm gonna start being a landlord. I made that mistake.

Fuck that, never ever ever ever. I even rented to a friend. I rented to fucking Ezra and also mistake and then I got the fucking water bill Oh god, the water bill one month. It was like $1800 for water for water for water free dude Water's free, dude. Yeah. I am me. I opened to like eight PM at night. I like, what the fuck? And Ezra was going back to force me to awesome LA.

I raised to the house. I'm like, I got a leak. I was imagining a sinkhole like opening underneath the house. I go in, I open the front door. As soon as I walk in the front door, I hear running water. And I'm like, okay, I can immediately hear what this is. I go in the bathroom, the toilet in the first floor bathroom

was running and I just went, you go, you go, and it stopped. $1800. You just said you got to sell $1800. And luckily Ezra is like Mr. Gigantor intimidating. So he got the city of Austin just about, forgive that bill. Really?

Yeah, really? How? I fought with Austin Energy before the city of Austin utilities it was reduced it was reduced they do not give up yeah she's I literally was like this do you that is it have you guys noticed how every person on earth knows Ezra it's bizarre yeah I was in a fucking get together like a meetup for Millie's preschool. Like we still have a different like groups of friends that all hang out from when Millie and her friends

are in preschool together. And I see these people like once, it twice a year now, maybe. I'm just imagining all the kids are gonna be the ones who know Ezra in this story. What? And I was talking to one of the moms who has no idea even what Ruchtit is or what I do really.

And I was explaining my job for her and she goes, oh like Ezra Cooperstein. And I'm like, do you know Ezra? And she's like, yeah, of course I know Ezra. And I was explaining my job for her and she goes, oh, like, where? Ezra Cooperstein. And I'm like, do you know Ezra? And she's like, yeah, of course I know Ezra. And I'm like, how? She goes, I don't know, I just know them. Yeah. I've run into a lot of people that are like,

they're like, oh yeah, I know Ezra. It's a spec. It is a little odd. I'm like, this was wrong, I don't know. I'm like, but he lives in California. And she's like, I guess, I don't know. I mean, I don't know specifics, but yeah, I know. You can meet people.

I ran into him at Whole Foods. How was that? Couple weeks ago, it's weird. I don't like downtown Whole Foods? Yeah, I don't like running into people outside of normal context. I run into people. I'm like running into people, period.

That's normal. I run into people with carriages and events all the time and I tell you like, listen, I don't want to see you outside of work. Like, we're going to work out a schedule that way I don't have to fucking run into you. Yeah, that's, it bothers me to know that you use my Whole Foods now.

We should coordinate so we don't run into each other. All right. Does that just be awkward? Oh, not so we don't run into each other. All right. Does that just be awkward? Oh, not figuring out where to run. We went into each other best by, and we were like, oh, yeah. It's like a few years ago. I'm getting a sense of where you live now,

because he won't tell me. What, I just like, I didn't do his new place. I just like, did you go to the old place? I just like, I never had a new place. I just like going to Whole Foods. That's it. If I'm going to go to Whole Foods, I'm going to go to the big one. Yeah, I mean, it's the best Whole Foods I've ever.

Right. It's not, it's like the middle of Austin. Do you eat there sometimes? Like, just go to eat. I do.'m gonna go to the whole lose, I'm gonna go to the big one. Yeah. I mean, it's the best whole lose, though. Right. It's like the middle of Austin. Do you eat there sometimes? Like, just go to eat. I do. I eat all the time when our office is downtown. It's fucking great.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like in my front yard, essentially, so. Not all the time. Don't overplay it. All the time. You can go every day of the week and you need something different. It's share of Whole Foods.com.

No, we barbecued too far. Pretty solid. It was too far in summer. Yeah. We were there with you. Oh, so frequently too. But as you say, it was, to be fair, it was mostly you and I. I wasn in summer. Yeah. We were there with you. Oh, but frequently too. But as you say, it was, to be fair, it was mostly you and I. I was in Johnson.

Yeah. Mike's pub. Mike's pub. Right across the street in a park garage. Do you know we find out that Megan Castro worked there? When we were going there? Yeah. You think you guys knew her then?

No, no, no. We figured it out. Megan Gus and I figured it out at all blown. They know because we were all. It was odd how we all looked familiar. We couldn't figure it out in the one day. We figured it out. Megan Gus and I figured it out at all the way they know because we were all, it was odd how we all looked familiar and we couldn't figure it out in the end one day. We're talking about cheeseburgers. We were talking about cheeseburgers.

We were talking about cheeseburgers. I'm really glad you're here. As you do. As you do. Man, uh, God. What's your, what's your favorite cheeseburger in town? Right now? Yeah.

Come back to me. Wait, wait, wait, okay. So I learned something about you and I couldn't have learned it through Esther because we don't have, I don't talk to anybody. I think you did. I think I know what you're getting at. So what?

What? Because it has a favorite hamburger place and as for rewards, you get gift cards. Okay, so my favorite hamburger place in Austin is Mighty Fine. Okay. And on your birthday, they'll mail you like a free hamburger card. And the problem with Mighty Fine is it's like, it's out of the way, right? There's only like three locations in town. It's like you like a free hamburger card. And the problem with the mighty fine is it's like,

it's out of the way, right? There's only like three locations in town. It's like you got a way down south or way up north. So I never want to go because it's way out of the way. But when they mail me the fucking free hamburger card, like well now I gotta go. It's like so the only the only time I go, so I got a free hamburger.

It's like it's my favorite hamburger and they're like going, but I won't go unless it's free. It's wrong with you. It's out of the way. Treat yourself. Go get the fuck in here. I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go. I won't go on as it's free. It's wrong with you. It's out of the way. Treat yourself. Go get the fuck out of here. I don't want to be a hamburger. No, that's how gross and soggy.

Just go get your car and go. Then you got to drive up there. You know there's traffic. I think 364 days to save seven bucks. Go enjoy your life. I don't know. Yeah, he's got you there. Enjoy your life.

You're not getting any younger. I'm going to say Sandeys. I eat a lot of Sandeys now because it's kind of close to where I live. So I'm gonna say Sande's. I eat a lot of Sande's now, because it's kind of close to where I live. So, I'm not like Pterys. I ate a lot of Pterys. You've been down there in the summer yet, have you? No, I moved in in October.

Yeah, it's, dude, Sande's just so fucking great in the summer. It's just like, it reminds me when I was growing up in New England and in Upstate New York, except it's blazingly hot at 8 p.m. But yeah, Sande's just awesome. I used to play, they fucking, they kinda ruined it for me though,

because I used to, I used to have this weekly routine where I would go to Sandeys and eat every Monday and I played this game called the $20 game with a lady. They take credit cards now so they can't do anymore. But I would go and I'd order my hamburger whatever and then I'd pay with the $20 and she would go, do you have anything smaller than a 20? And I'd go, nope, and she'd go, I can't make change

and I'd go, that's not my problem, she'd go, she'd go back for a while and yell and scream, and then she'd come back and give me the change. I never understood why this was a problem for them. I never understood why I was in it, but it was every Monday, I would go to Sandeys and play the $20 game, and every time I'd have the biggest grand I'd be like, you know, I don't. Cause like, good to you back then, UD from Sandeys

would be like four bucks, or something. It was like four, I would get like two corn dogs, it'd be like four and a half dollars. Yeah. And the lady hated me. And I hated her, but I loved making her mad. It does seem like people who only take cash as a business aren't prepared for that in any way.

So I found her up off the government, just fucking, yeah, it's a violation. Or is it just their slimmast margins, right? No, no, it's, it, well, I, no, it's, it's, yeah, it's people that are like Salt Lake. I don't take credit cards. Yeah, just fucking scam in the IRS, dude.

Do you remember when I got mad at Chalantra when we worked downtown? Like I went up there. Remember this back when they had like the fucking trailer down there? This is such an awesome thing, by the way. Explain what Chalantra was. It's like a Korean Mexican fusion cocktail. You realize that sounds stupid when you say it out loud.

You get like a chicken kimchi burrito. Right, chicken fried. But I went there and like they just started taking credit cards. Like it's like you're talking about, like they've been to cash wherever they start taking credit cards. I ordered my fucking food. It's like five or six bucks.

And the guy in my credit card, he's like, oh, it's a, we say it's a $3 processing fee on credit cards. I was like, what? He was like, oh yeah, we got a charge like an extra two, I remember two or three bucks processing on the credit card. It doesn't, he goes, because it costs us money to run credit cards,

because it doesn't cost you $3 fucking dollars. No, it doesn't. I said, I help run an online store. It costs you like 3% probably to process that credit card. Did you say, do you know who I am? Is that what you just said? You know who I am? I'm gustarole from the internet.

It sounds like you're being around the bush. You give them a CD of the Apple Switch video that you're burning, you sign this. I mean, it doesn't, it costs you like 3%, 3.5% to run that. You go, all right, we'll just charge you $0.50. Oh. It doesn't, I never and you signed it. It cost you like 3% 3.5% to run that. You go, all right, we'll just try to 50 cents. Oh, I never went back to the... I never went back to the...

Is this place? Who knows, all over the place. This name was John Pickett Master. So I never went back. So Chalantra, so there's Camus Credit Card companies. They are. I don't know if they still do that. That was like seven years ago or something.

It's your question. Best hamburger in Austin is Smash Burger. Not Smash Burger. No, no, no. Shack Burger. What's it called? Shack Shack? Oh my God.

Shack Shack. You even know what the burger is? Step one is to find out of knowing the best burger. Yeah. It Austin is knowing what the fuck an assali-ish is called. I always mess it up too, because it keeps on like, Shack Smash. I tell the kids, like, you know what,

the Smash Burger's like, fuck no. What did I say, fuck no. They say, you're gonna go to the game stop of hamburgers. You get the game stop, right? Did they just steal the font, the sign? It's exactly the same thing. Yeah, yeah. Not smash burgers, sorry for the,

it started with the inadvertent shout out, but Shake Shack, best burger in Austin. Shake Shack's pretty good. Also, I like it now. I think I agree with it. I think I agree with it. Wait less now that they're here. Oh, what now?

I used to love in and out, you know? I never go to in. Now I know I don't give a shit about them. Yeah, fuck me. Well, the nice thing about Shake Shack in Austin, Shake Shack is like two hour lines everywhere else on Earth. Nobody goes to Shake Shack in Austin. It's always empty when I go there.

There is a, nobody gives a fuck. There's a hop dotty right next door to the full screen office in Plyivista. The line there is a minute long. I know. You know, Austin, it's an hour and a half long. So we have a, this new thing we have set up. Ah, right. Where we can interact with's an hour and a half long. So we have a, this new thing we have set up. Wow, right.

Where we can interact with people who are watching the podcast live. So this is only applicable if you're live. Um, yes, suck it. So you can go what's the URL? Ristief.com slash play. Yes. We're going to set up a quick poll where you can vote on which burger you prefer if you've been Austin.

Such a fucking specific poll. We're just trying to service out, dude. Fucking give me a break. Well, come up with your better priorities. You haven't, you literally have never used it before. You literally have any idea available. And this is what you came up with. I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like,

fucking yellow Patrick, Patrick, you came up with this? I just said, Patrick is backing off from this hardcore. Hey, you know what? This episode of the Rookie Podcast is brought to you by Betterment, sorry for whoever's running graphics. Betterment is the largest online financial advisor designed to help customers build a wealth, plan for retirement, and achieve their financial goals. In other words, it's mission is to help customers make the most of their money.

How? By taking complex investing strategies and using technology to make them more efficient and by providing access to unlimited personalized advice from licensed experts. Investing should not be confusing. Embedermant is here to change all of that. At betterment, hidden costs are nowhere to be found, no matter who you are or how much money you invest, you get everything for one low transparent management fee. As fiduciaries, they make recommendations in their client's best interest.

They're not incentivized to recommend certain funds, and they don't have their own investment products to sell. Betterment offers personalized advice and a suite of tools to help you know whether you're on track to hit your investing goals or get to retirement you want. I can't stress enough how cool it is that they're fiduciaries and they act in your best interest. So sign up today, get one year, manage free, investing in Vols Risk, RESTF Podcast listeners can get up to one year, manage free. For more information, visit betterment.com slash información, visitbetterment.com slash teeth.

That's betterment.com slash teeth. Thank you, Betterment, por sponsoring este episodio de recid, podcast, donde se roncan, apparently,imp, no. MailChimp analiza los datos de millones de correos electrónicos para ofrecer recomendaciones personalizadas. Para mejorar el contenido de tus correos electrónicos, se segmentar tu público, entre muchas cosas más, adivina menos, y vende más con IntuitimailChimp. La marca número 1 en Imail Market yña Automatización. Empiezo hoy mismo en MailChimp.com. Vas a vender a tus públicos de marcas competidoras en número de globales de clientes en 2020 o 2022. Can I say something about you saying fiduciary is kind of a turn on.

I like it. Yeah, I can't tingly when you say it. I was really make it for me. fiduciary. Oh, yes, he's a fiduciary. Same as this. We'll leave, we'll leave, we'll leave, burn you up here. Oh, yeah, there's the, the URL. Sorry, whoever's running out.

I wanted to this thing and it's not working for me. Did we break it? See, that's what we're doing right now. We're see talking about what we're doing live. We thought we'd do our beta test. Yeah, there we go. 0, 0, 0. Hey, I'm winning with sandies.

You can't vote for yourself, dude. I don't have a, I didn't do shit. What's it all jumping around? People are voting. It's live. That's all part about me in life. You're things getting destroyed on my fine. Fuck it, it's first off, shake shacks,

a nationwide chain, that's bullshit, I wouldn't even count it. At least my define is local. Sandeys is historic. Been around for like a hundred years. Sandeys has not been around for a hundred years. At least 60 years. It's like a hundred years. Oh, quickly that changes.

I'm totally invested in this poll now. I'm totally invested in this poll now. I'm totally invested. It took me two seconds and now I just can't stop watching anything else. It's a piece of awesome history. I think your Patrick just said four people have voted. I'm, uh, so keep, keep voting.

And vote for, vote for fucking Mighty Fung. Because it's the best burger your piece of shit. Mighty Fung is a good burger, but it's not the best. If I lose, I'm doing infinity war spoilers for the rest of the world. Hey, we're beyond spoiler territory at this point, right? I saw yesterday you get fucking two weekends I said the movies made a billion dollars. You're beyond you're beyond you are beyond spoilers All I'm saying is that if you're gonna go two weekends and not see a thing then really you shouldn't care that other people are talking about Yeah, no, the whole the whole culture can't put itself on pause because you don't have time to go do something.

If you see you recognize, hey, I'm gonna get some spoilers. What I feel is interesting about this is, it's spoilery, but I feel like this meme of the, I don't feel good has really taken off really quickly after the movie came out. And I guess it's like, it doesn't necessarily let you know, if you haven't seen the movie,

you don't know necessarily what it's about, but it's definitely like the end of the fucking movie. Yeah, like somebody made a version of that with like, loopy loopay and Garbo man, and I didn't understand the reference, but I knew it was being spoiled, but because I didn't understand it, it was fun.

Yeah. Somebody made a really funny joke today on Twitter that I really admired. I got about it, like, was it about your phone and talking to your phone, like a funny little script you write, and then, that's that's serious drama, buddy. The the Fortnite where they had this crossover

with Avengers that's happening. Yeah. And then they did this thing with a graphic of like Thanos and one of the Fortnite characters and he's doing snap and even said snap in the background. And they just added an image that which was pub G like slowly disintegrating and fading away. Thought that was pretty fucking funny.

That was pretty funny. I had to laugh at that. But I was pretty fucking funny. That was pretty funny. I had to laugh at that. But I called them basic. I got a little bit of grief for that. Yeah, I got a little bit of grief. You didn't like it. You don't think it's cute little cross-error. A lot of people play Fortnite. They're into that. I will say this. I think we're gonna stream it tomorrow. Try to get the gauntlet. See what happens. I actually like Fortnite. I play Fortnite. I'm not good at building that that kind of sucks. And I actually like the the Pv play Fortnite. I'm not good at the building. That kind of sucks. And I actually like the PvE game, which we followed and talked about for fucking years. I like that game a lot.

But it does, though, point something out to me, which is, it's funny that Fortnite does have tons of skins and emotes and dances and everything else that are very referential or in some cases with some of the dances, like literally just lifted straight out of other things with like no credit or no acknowledgement until they get to Disney. And then suddenly it's like a partnership

and a call out and everything like that. It's like really, is that Disney the only one who deserves that respect? Because we know that Disney will see the fucking shit out of you. Yeah. If he tried to do something similar like that. I think I'm also like the Avengers franchise. It's like they have tons of co-marketing stuff that they do. Like the weirdest one to me is like this Geico commercial.

With the fucking lizard talking to the Avengers. It's like Geico, the official talking to the Avengers is like I go the official Insurance of the Avengers like really What would you do when you're seeing a commercial? Because I feel like I don't see commercials when I watch SNL like him. He was Through them. I watch tons of TV. I see commercials all time. You can't you can't help it There's a lot of like current TV shows that I watch yeah like I DVR stuff, current stuff that I'll DVR, and then I'll watch commercials that way.

Or if I'm watching it live, like if I don't want to wait for... The thing that I'm... The cutesy. I'm starting to notice with commercials, and I'm starting to see it more and more, which I really like. SNL has started doing this. They did it last year.

NBA, like the NBA with TNT is doing it this year, or maybe it's ABC, because the playoffs are split between the two. Where they start to do like branded commercials with their talent. Like have you noticed that? Yeah. Like they're doing this thing for Oceans 8 right now

where all these people are trying to steal, if you don't know it in ABC and ESPN, Jalen Rose is a commentator on their NBA games and they're doing this whole thing in support of Ocean's 8 where they do these little commercial vignettes where they're trying to steal Jalen Rose's jewelry from them. That's fucking, it's not hilarious, but it's way funny than a normal commercial.

It's better. And it's great. It's somewhat engaging. Yeah, it's engaging and it's infinitely better than a commercial. SNL did the same thing where they did a couple of brand of commercials last year with SNL talent. That's awesome. I hope they do that.

I hope you see more of that. Yeah, I know three guys would be all about that. So I hear we have the results ready. What are the results? From what the burger pull? I'm gonna guess that only. Oh, look at this. Fucking hammer.

Yeah, it's the first roll. I do 1%. We don't even need a runoff. I made my case. I realized that we were in a competition. I don't even think we mentioned the burgers. Yeah, it's it's it's it's it's it Man, I saw this documentary on the New York Times website, I think it was last week about this guy who has lived on a cruise ship for the last 20 years. It was amazing. You see it?

It was amazing. Happy Samantha World. He keeps calling himself the happiest man in the world. I'm like, there's no way that you're the happiest man in the world. See, he's just like a carnival cruise ship. It's a royal Caribbean, I think. And he just like reups every,

he's like, yeah, I guess I'm gonna get it. Because don't they go into port? Yeah, he gets on another one. So that's a really dumb way to do that, because there are luxury cruise ships that you can buy apartments on and live on. That they're like, I read about this like a year ago. There's a cruise ship that just travels around the world,

and for as cheap as I wanna say like, 800 grand, you can get a room in it. I mean, there's all kinds of like fees to live there that make it way more expensive. Like if you bought a $800,000 place, if you could afford that, you wouldn't be able to probably live there because they'd nickel and dime you at everything else. Of course.

But it has like a little commissary, it has like stores and like a grocery store, and there are people that live through the interviewees five days a year just on this. And then they're like, this year we're going to go to Iceland and they had that way. And then they, it seems awesome. So it's not 800 grand a year. It's 800 grand. It's like 800 grand. Or like, that's for like the cheapest, shittiest one.

But they had, they're in the millions too. If you want to get like a nice big, two bedroom luxury one. But yeah, and then there's these, there's these like super yachts or super like cruise ships that people just rich people live. I found one apartment ship. Yeah. The world. Residences at sea. Yeah. There are people who live at Vegas, casinos.

They just live in those massive casinos in those hotels. Well, famous actors and actresses used to live in hotels and I'll tell you what all the time. Yeah, like it was a thing to live at the Beverly Hilton. I think the, the W here downtown also has condos attached to it. They have residences and they're fucking expensive. Yeah, it's funny you say that because it's one of the places I look. Yeah, me too. And I was like, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I will not be living there. Yeah. They also have a private saltwater swimming pool just for residences. So I do want to point out, hidden lemon and chat is saying only $800,000 LLL. I guess. It's, we understand. It's still ridiculously expensive. We're saying compared to800,000 LLL. Yes. We understand. It's still ridiculously expensive. We're saying compared to everything else on that ship.

Yeah. Or if you're buying a house in California, for instance, $800,000 is a mid-level house. Would you say in California? I'll say this because I just had this conversation. I was just in San Francisco for a week with the kind of funny guys. And they're lamenting how expensive San Francisco is being. They actually, I overheard a conversation where they were talking about how maybe,

maybe they should just pick up a move to LA because it's so much cheaper to live in LA than it is to live in San Francisco and how they could all finally afford to buy homes if they just moved to Los Angeles. Which I'm not saying they're going to do that. I'm not trying to blow up the kind of, they're just having a conversation to do so. But I was sitting there thinking like I'm literally listening to a conversation where a bunch

of adult people in America are talking about how they're going to move to Los Angeles so they can afford to buy a home. Yeah. Because where they live is so much more expensive. Yeah. I want to point out that Austin is you pay a million dollars for a trailer. I want to point out that Austin is cheaper than LA. It is?

Yeah. Guys. Yeah, come on, bring it on. Come over here. Yeah, it is. I got the space. Can you imagine all the chicken wings? I would be like, what the fuck happened?

Oh, I actually look, that's one of the places I looked at. Yeah, it's as expensive as it looks in that photo. It is Jesus. I want to say, I want to say I I look that place and I was looking at it and I said, well, how much is this place? And they're like, this one goes for two million. I was like, good day, sir. I will be leaving.

Thank you. That looks. That was four. That was four. That was a five apartment on a cruise ship for that one. You stupid. Well, Jeff came with an indoor pool, so it's all good in the living room.

Yeah. All right, let me see here. I'm gonna do a quick thing for, I couldn't afford to buy my condo, like if it was for sale, there'd be no way. So to put in perspective, I just did an amortization schedule on a loan of about, at about 4% for a $750,000 house,

just put in perspective for people who don't buy houses or have them bought one in their life. That's about $3,500 a month, $3,400 a month. So that would give you a perspective and then you're owning it as opposed to renting it. And I think typical rent in Austin is about 12, you guys sell it with 1200, is that in that range? I think I paid like 300 a bucks a month to buy.

I would say it's probably more like 16. Is it like 16 now? Yeah. You can get a one better for like nine. One better for like nine, yeah, right? You can? Yeah. Also it's a little got places.

Still got some places. But in a cheap, in a cheap, that amortization that doesn't include property taxes or insurance. Insurance, right. Those things or garden hoses. You know, yeah. Property taxes are ridiculous here. Property tax is ridiculous

because you don't have income tax. Right, so you'd end up paying a hell of a lot more. That's what's gonna end up if I do buy a place, keeping me out of a condo's fucking homeowner fees. Mm-hmm. Like homeowner fees, I don't know what years what years you're like,

but I've been the average, seems to be about $1,000 a month. She's at places downtown. You mean for like the condo? Yeah, yeah. And you have to pay a lot of upkeep for like pools and all that nice shit that you see. It's like you pay for that.

Yeah, I just want someone buying a house. First question you should ask is, does this community have a homeowners association? And is this House haunted? Really? Well, they do have to tell you. But you, what? I think it's like, you're really, is this House haunted this house haunted they have to they I want to go look at house

And I'll tell everybody ever been murdered in this house You should always ask those questions to do the walls bleed at night. You can ask that This is to come and get you. Yeah, you have to if someone's been killed there or died in the house They have to report that right? I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what if it's like natural causes to do Still have to report that I but, so I don't know. It's a good question. I mean, my old house was like a hundred years old, so I assumed lots of people had died in it.

You'd probably, you take that up when you buy an older place. I bought a place in, Zilker years ago, I don't know in that house anymore. But it was like, apparently like one of the first houses, it was a hunting lodge that had been expanded over the years,

but it was built in like the, it was built in 1932. And it was, I love that house. It was really cool. But the fucking realtor passed along this photo to me, handsome, he's like, yeah, this is a house. It's like, it's my house, but it's in the fucking woods, which was really weird for Zilker Park now, you know, that it's, it's all surrounded by these other little houses,

but it's just my house in the middle of these woods and it's one of those old square photos because it's from like the late 30s or 40s And it's real thick paper and it's my fucking house all these woods and then this fucking kid On the front porch just into like one of those little like toddler outfits and it's just this kid is just staring into the camera like this Like this and I was like guess we had a hold still for a little longer, so he's kind of blurry too. I was like, why the fuck did you give me this photo? I just like, now I'm gonna go to sleep and think about this fucking kid running around my house.

So I got some information here from Patrick about disclosing deaths in houses. In California, sellers must reveal if a death in the home has occurred any time in the past three years, including death by natural causes, although certain types of death, like those from AIDS cannot be disclosed. If a buyer comes out and asks about a death

that occurred at any time, even longer three years ago, the seller's required provided true-salt response. In Alaska, South Dakota, only murders or suicides must be disclosed if they happened within the past year. What about ghosts? Why suicide? They have a ghost? Why suicide? I mean, it's like a murder. It's like a one person murder. Yeah, one person murder. What about ghosts? Why is he was saying they have a ghost? Why is he was saying?

I mean, it's like a murder. It's like a one person murder. Yeah, one person murder. Yeah. So a little murder. The, I guess technically there could be, there could be things, it's in your environment that could affect you to the point where you might commit suicide. Interesting.

Yeah. So people wouldn't want to withhold that information from people. What an crazy way to do that. Are you going to say the same thing? Yeah, by the crazy reddit to withhold that information from people. One of the crazy, are you gonna say the same thing? I have the crazy Reddit story. Yeah, post it notes. The fucking nuts. The guy, we've talked about him before, I'm sure.

Have we talked about it? Probably. This guy, he made a post on Reddit asking people, like, hey, what do I do? I think my landlords are breaking into my apartment. I wake up and I'll come home and I'll find notes scattered around. Like someone's handwritten, it's not my writing. It says like I'm watching.

And they have like personal information as well. I just don't know what to do. And one of the comments was like, hey, do you have a carbon monoxide detector? And the guy was like, no, let me go get one. Oh, I've been suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning for months. Yeah. He just didn't realize there's like, you can tell the stories and like buried in the comments, one good dude saying,

hey, I know it sounds like people are going, hey dude, you might be delusional or and then people were like, no, they're probably coming in and they're finding out personal information. And then someone got wrote, hey man, what you're saying sounds like like could be carbon monoxide poison. You should get your house tested. And he went and got a lot of meat and he's like, yeah, I have carbon monoxide in my house. So this guy ran him dude on the internet saved his life and just recommended to get a carbon

monoxide. How would you know to recommend that? Like, have I read that? I'd be like, I would never think like, oh, carbon oxide. Completely fucking random. I'd be probably, you know what it was. He probably hadn't experienced with it where they figured that out and it's just like the one thing this guy knows is the best thing about the internet, especially Reddit, is that

the, everybody can come up with one brilliant comment, but then that filters up to the top because everyone votes it. So when you go to Reddit, you see something, the first comment is always the perfect joke for it, the perfect joke. Gotta heat that. I am. I really feel like, oh, then that's a weak point

or anything I can do. I'm reading a horror like a haunted house book right now in novel. It's the scariest book I've read in a long time. It's probably not haunted. It's probably just carbon dioxide. I'm just ruined the fucking book right on. Yeah. Read on doesn't happen here, right? I don't know, it's probably not on it. It's probably just carbon dioxide. I'm just ruined the fucking book. Right on.

Yeah. Right on doesn't happen here, right? I don't know. It's like a Midwest thing. Yeah. What is it, your rating? It's like some kind of like just inherent underground radiation. Yeah. Yeah.

But I guess maybe it's because we don't have basements. They would have to worry about it. Does that think of the thing as you're going to worry about Raid on in your basement? Is that what it is? I think so. I don't know. I'm not from there.

Are you from there? Let us know. Let us know. Let us know. Do you have radon? Yes. What is radon? Vote for Gus Burnier Jeff.

Can you tell me one of those? Who is more radon? Here, I want to read this other thing. Also, another reason I have to buy an own house. You don't worry about shit like radon. You just tell your landlord, hey, I think I have radon. They take care of it. When you're mind everyone, this episode of the received podcast is also brought to you by e harmony If you've tried or you're currently trying to date online

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for the RESTYF podcast. Oh, I think you're gonna say something. I sent Jeff on a slightly different note. I sent Jeff this thing the received podcast. Oh, I think you're gonna say something. I sent Jeff on a slightly different note. I sent Jeff this thing the other day. You know what I'm talking about. I found this website that distributes public domain audio books for free and anyone can record and submit themselves reading a public domain book

for other people to download. So send it to Jeff and I was like, we should record a book. Mm-hmm. Like, let's, for the hell of it, let's find like a public domain book for other people to download. So send it to Jeff and I was like, we should, uh, we should record a book. Mm-hmm. Like, let's, for the hell of it. Let's find like a public domain book. Like, find some, some obscure public domain book and just record it and put it up there for people to download. So I was like, what would the book be? I actually have a book I'd like to do with. Really? You already thought about it. Uh, I thought about it after you sent me that because I used to, I went through a thing where I was reading a lot of public domain books on the Gutenberg project. Mm-hmm. And one of my favorite books I've read from there is a book called Terace

Rockuin, which is a French book from the 1700s about Terace, like Terace, like T-H-E-R-E-S-E, Rackin, I think it's how you say it, it's R-A-Q-U-I-N. And it's just about a woman who marries a clerk you, you, I, in. And it's just about a woman who marries a clerk in France because she's poor and it's good for her family. And then she ends up having an affair. And she and the boyfriend kill the husband. And then they're plagued with guilt. And the guilt turns them against each other

and drives them crazy. Kind of. It's a really good book. I've read it twice. And I would absolutely do an audio recording of that and it's public to them. They got it here, yeah, third chapter. Yeah.

And so you do a recording of a book and you just put it up for your send it to them and then they link it for other people to download. Well, let me ask you guys this. I mean, this is something I keep bringing up and every time we have a creative pitch meeting is all the podcasts that we do are all personality based talk shows. Yes.

Except for on the spot, would be like our one exception and Patrick's working on a cool new one that I think we announced from pilot week. And I wouldn't call it a podcast though, but no, no, but it falls in our broadcast department so it can't get flumped in with everything else. I don't know if I call these podcasts anymore. We wouldn't use this word today podcast. It's almost like an yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll broadcast show, right?

That's what we call a broadcast now. But something, there is a genre of podcasts that we've never done, which are narrative podcasts. And there's some really great narrative podcasts. And I think you guys should, I mean, watching what you guys do on Heroes and Halfwits is you weaving a tail and be fun to watch you guys do that like for a narrative podcast or a rish too.

I've always wanted to do something narrative. I've always jealous of those like Night Vale and all of a sudden. Welcome to Night Vale is. Your real was huge. Welcome to Night Vale is 50% garbage, 30% good and 20% brilliant. Like it's a real crap shoot when you,

I mean for me, but the good stuff is phenomenal in that podcast. But you just like, you gotta get through a lot of mediocrity to get to those brilliant moments. Or like, have you guys listened to my dad wrote a porno? No, I don't know. Oh, god, you haven't heard of it? No.

Oh, it's huge. I found his dad's like Romantic writing. Blinda Blinked, yeah. So it's about this British dude, or UK dude. He maybe he's Scottish, I'm not sure if that's the exact sense. He found out that his dad wrote an erotic novel called Blinda Blinked. So he got two of his friends and he reads a chapter to them each week. And then they, or each episode and they published it.

It got so popular that the dad started writing more. So now they're on their season. The dad's on his third novel. And it's phenomenal. And it's the dude, he's like listening, he's like, he has to read his dad's sex stories, essentially. And there'll be stuff where like, you'll get deep into it if you listen to it. You'll like, later in season one or season two,

they'll be able to be points where they're like, he'll be describing like a desk. And they'll be like, that sounds a lot like the desk and you're better in the grow-up. And he's like, yeah, I was hoping you wouldn't notice that. And he's talking about them having sex on my childhood, writing desk. And it's just like, it's like, yeah, I was hoping you would notice that. And he's talking about them having sex on my childhood, riding desk.

And it's just like, it's fucking, his misery at hearing his dad's proclivities. Like he loves to refer to breasts, as that like he says like, her breasts swung like a sack of pomegranates. And it's like, and it's going to like, like the dad's descriptive thought process.

I look at your photo of the guy eating a palm of granite. Yeah, yeah. And it's brilliant and it's hilarious. The girl, it's a, two guys in a girl, the girl is phenomenally funny and quick-witted. And you would love it. It's really, really. That sounds amazing.

Yeah, I recommend it all the time. That's so cool. Talking about great narrative podcasts. I can also say that it's awkward to read that, going back to our dating conversation, it was years ago that someone we know we think. I'm going to tell a story completely anonymously here, okay? Everybody.

So someone we know was dating someone else that we knew and the woman posted a text conversation anonymously, but it was very clear to all of us who they were talking to and it was like their sexy talk, like not sexy talk, but like the game, their game. And I was like, I don't wanna read my friend's game. I just don't wanna read that. And so it's like, then when you go back to the Tinder stuff, it's just like, yeah. I just forgot about that recently.

It's too personal, like it's this thing. And I knew it was like, guys dating versus women dating, especially today is like, I mean, we've all known each other for 20 years, 20 years. Nothing is private to Jeff and everything's kind of, like, it's kind of out there. But really, it's like, guys don't sit around and talk about

like women they're with and what they're doing, you know, like locker room talk a little bit. I'm gonna talk about people they find hot or stuff like that, but they don't go into like unbelievably intimate details about someone they're with. However, on a regular fucking basis, I mean, any woman that knows, any woman that you self,

that knows everything about you in bed pretty much. I agree, I agree. I can point to, I watch a terrible, terrible show that I don't recommend. I don't know why. Million I got bored when I, so we were on Hulu, I found the show called Love Island. It's like, it's kind of like the British version

of Bachelor in Paradise or Temptation Island where they take a bunch of just stupid people from the UK that are gorgeous and they smash them into a room or into a mansion and they have to pair up and the couple that's together at the end is the winner. Somehow, the rules don't really make sense, but then, so they have six boys and six girls

and they pair up and then they introduce a new girl in. And that girl gets to pick one of the people and then it's just like a popularity contest of who's fucking who and who wants to stay in and they kick a person out each week and they bring in like two new dudes or whatever, but you'll have the conversations where the girls are like like, oh, what's this dick like, you know, and the guys are like, oh my gosh, she said she wants to go out with me again, they're like high five in the

hugging and stuff, and the girls are like, yeah, I don't know, they get super descriptive and the guys are just like so cute and they're like, you know, and they're just like, oh my gosh, she likes me, she likes me, and the girls are like, yeah, I don't know. The other guy's one muscular. I feel like he's stronger. And he's taller. And he's definitely has a bigger difference. He lasted about eight and a half minutes.

Yeah, I was like seven. And like, you heartless people. Let me go. My fucking log book. The guys cry 10 times more than the women in the show. Let's go. Yeah, it gave me something that's pretty shocking, but that's one of the reasons like that incident

was one of the reasons why I started dating Ashley. Like the month that Ashley and I went exclusive was pretty much the month that Tinder came out. But I was always like, yeah, I would never do this stuff. I'm glad I don't have to date in the Tinder age because I'm just like convinced. It actually happened to somebody on a, no, Shay Carl got his DMs all posted in the front.

People fucking love reading that shit, dude. I just love it. They, you know, he had, he had been on a wait for like a year after that. You know, his thing was tied with other stuff as well. But yeah, it's just like, I just, I'm convinced that the moment you have one of those, like intimate personal conversations with someone,

you don't actually know online, it'll get posted. You know? Yeah, I don't have, it's weird. I don't think I have any, any, it's gonna sound like I'm gonna say intimate conversation. I don't have any super private conversation with anyone like via like Twitter DM or any platform. Like if I'm gonna talk to someone about something sensitive, I'm gonna talk to them face to face.

Dude, I after my divorce five years ago, I made a commitment. I was no longer going to have any more important personal conversations over text. Yeah. Not going to do it. It's just just from the security aspect alone. We put that aside.

It's just like there's too much open to misinterpretation. Yes. And there's too much lost in that. Like, oh, I should have had a comma there. Like now it reads totally different or it's fucked up. Like in my head, I read this way, but now they think this and like I can see

why they would think that you know, you read that way. It's like it's just, it's a fucking nightmare. One of the dumbest conversations I, arguments I ever got into in my life was with Jordan, my ex. And we were talking about something on text, and I got home and she was upset with me.

And I'm like, what? She goes, well, you sent me this like nasty text. I'm like, isn't you a nasty text? Like, look, it's right here. Look at it. Look at it. She's like, are you going to be home soon? And I wrote, I'm on my way home right now.

I go, I just wrote, I'm on my way home right now. And she says, yeah, but you used a period at the end of it. I was like, what? This is- I've gotten troubles using the period before too. Yeah, yeah, for using punctuation. Like you only use punctuation when you're pissed off, apparently. Apparently so.

Yeah, I don't adhere to that. I think sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I do, apparently I'm an, I'm just an asshole all the time. Like, million hour walking on the street the other day over the weekend and some guy outside of a bar goes, hey, I recognize your face. Do I know you? And I, I was like, I don't know.

I guess I just got one of those faces probably. I don't know, have a good day. And a lot of time I'm really, I was like, man, you were a real dick to that guy. And I was like, what? And she was like, you really mean to him. And I was like, no, I wasn't at all. And I feel like I have that conversation

with people all the time. I'm like, why are you such a joke to Gary? And I'm like, I was just saying hi to Gary. People tell me that too. I don't at all and I feel like I have that conversation with people all the time. We're like, why are you such a jerk to Gary? And I'm like, I was just saying hi to Gary. People tell me that too. I don't get it. Like, I don't know if I'm in my own head. I was like, I didn't think I was. I thought it was being fine.

And I thought it was fine if I am a jerk. I just, it's never on purpose. I was very rarely. Like, you were being an asshole. Like, no, I was, I thought was being funny. Like, no, you were being a huge asshole. Like, oh my God. I just answered his question.

It's like, it's the way you answered it. Is that person mad at me? You know? Yeah. Like, I, you were being a huge asshole. Like, oh my god. I just answered his question. It's like, it's the way you answered it. Is that person mad at me? You know? Yeah. Like, I felt like I was walking around yesterday and I looked for that dude to apologize to him because Millie said I was a dick to him Saturday. I could have had it and see him.

And if I did, he would have been like, who the fuck are you? What are you talking about? Yeah. But, yeah, I, apparently I'm unintentionally a dick to people all the time in person, let alone text alone text text forget about it. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy too much like you said too much can be interpreted in text. Yeah too much stupid. You know, the thing too is um When I was when I was dating when I was like single for a while then started dating Ashley

Then there was this people that would say oh, I can, I didn't know you were getting into a relationship. I would have gone out with you when you were single. In the situation that Jeff's in now, if you want to sleep with Jeff, now's your shot. You should make the effort because Jeff is, first of all, Jeff's gonna end up with somebody else, eventually. Or I'll dial on. Or you'll dial on.

The other thing you fucked up two marriages, I failed. I got 20 years of failure under my belt, 21. But it's a weird thing to say, but like in your position, because you are a person who's on camera and who's a public figure. It's actually harder for you to put yourself out that's impossible.

It's harder. And so if you're interested in someone who's more of a public figure, a guy, you should let them know. You should actually, people should actually, you should let Jeff know that you want to sleep with him. Make it super awkward, please. Yeah, please, please. No, Bernie, please have an interesting point.

I also don't know how to date. Like, I wish. Don't, women get that enough, you know, don't like tell Barbara you want to date her. We know you do. Yeah, it is, it is difficult. Also, it's difficult to navigate being in your 40s and dating. It's difficult to navigate post a marriage and being a single dad and dating.

It's difficult to date for the first time in 12, 13 years, not having a respectable career with all these technology and like social media. None of that shit existed when I met Griffin, right? There wasn't a dating app or there wasn't Twitter. There were no social platforms. People couldn't send me pictures of their dick on Snapchat or their lady dick or whatever. You know? And so all that is new and weird

and complicated to figure out. Also, I met Griffin and we phone love right around the time our baby was taken off before it was a thing. So now I have that whole thing to mix into the deal too where like I'm at my core distrustful of everybody, I think. What do you mean? I just, I don't know.

Well, you were, I mean, you were married in the first season of RBB. I mean, like, she's in some of my old photos from, yeah, yeah. No, I was married during my first season of RBB. I just mean, like, now we're established and we're a bigger commodity. Oh, I got you.

And I'm just like, at my core, I'm just a little bit more apprehensive of people in general. Right. You know, like people don't realize, and this is not a complaint, this is not like a complaint, it's not a complaint, but we have a lot of

amazing interactions with audience members every day and community members all the time. But a lot of those end with how do I work for you? I want a job. And you just get to the point where like, I expect everybody to ask something of me all the times to the point Where after they do it for 10 years you just you expect every Initial conversation with a new person to be transactional and it just kind of it puts you in that frame of mind

Whether it's gonna happen or not. I just it's always kind of in the back of my head And so I'm always a little slightly leery of new interactions with people. I don know. And when you frame that around potential romanticism, I don't know, I'm still figuring it out. Yeah, I did most of my dating in LA. I just went out to LA. I like to establish myself out there, had my group of friends that's out there, and did most of my dating there.

It's a natural offshoot of what we do. You tend to run in those circles in LA, it's a town where there's a lot of people who work in entertainment and things like that. So most of the people that I met and dated also worked in this industry. And on a regular basis, as things would naturally progress in a relationship, you know, from friendship to, you know,

or meeting and then you get like two days into it and then you're gonna ask somebody out. I had to have conversations with like, hey, just, I just, I just, for clarity here, are we like hitting it off on a romantic basis? Or are you excited to maybe get a job at Rupert's teeth? You know, it's like one of those things and you'd have to establish that and we like, no, I really like you.

Or they'd go, okay, first of all, you, but your company's awesome and I'd like to come work there. But it is a whole level of conversation of not just being a public figure. You're also an executive where you just can't like go, you can't just hit on whoever you want to. you really can't. No, no. You're not just going like, hey, I'll give this a shot, you're kind of cute.

It's like, they're like, no, and now you need to go jail. Yeah, but it's a whole Jesus. We know what I'm saying. It's like, it could be a problem if you try to hit on somebody. You know, I couldn't or wouldn't. I mean, I had so paranoid. What's that? I'm not hitting on people in general.

Like, yeah, the whole thing is stressful and befuddling to me. But I'm loving, I love hearing you talk about it. So please continue. We get Jeff, you do a great job of saying things so I don't have to. Right, it did, no, it's one of these things. So Jeff should, everyone should hit on Jeff.

Well, I think we're gonna see if we want to see it. Very sweet of you. Now's your fucking chance. Look at this. How could you not want to sleep with that? I mean, there's a lot, there's a lot to hate there. There's a lot to be disgusted by. I think I might never cut my hair again. Ever? I think I'm just gonna go in yourself more and more, dude. Give up.

I got the beard going. I'm here just looking good. I haven't had my hair cut because I had this thing where I griffin cut my hair every hair cut I got for 13 years. Griffin did because she's a talent. I'm a talent. I had this thing where I Gryffin cut my hair every Every hair cut I got for 13 years Gryffin did because she's talented and amazing at everything and of course she could cut hair Why wouldn't you go to cut hair right? And so I have free awesome Gryffin haircuts for 13 years now. I don't want to I could probably Call in that favor if I wanted to but I don't probably not the most probably not the smartest thing to do

You know, and so I haven't figured out how to like where I like it. I don't, probably not the most, probably not the smartest thing to do, you know? And so I haven't figured out how to, like where I, like get it, I don't have a license to get it. Oh, get a floaty. I should get a floaty. I should get a floaty. So I get stressed out about having my hair cut now, so I just don't do it. Let's film it.

Let's film it. Let's like, let's put your hair in a floaty. I'm fucking here. We could be that I'm gonna come out of the floaty. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. And so now, and I was thinking the other day, I was like, I really gotta get a haircut. I don't know where to go.

I'm confused. I was in New York. I thought maybe I'll get a haircut while I'm in New York. And I was just like, they have great haircuts in New York. I just, I get, when I get too stressed out about a dumb thing like that, I just turn off. I'm like, oh, that's a problem for tomorrow, Jeff.

And then I thought, like, I'll just go like Jesus. I'll just do like Matt Bragg and I'll just like, like, fucking, just have shitty long, rady hair. You're like Jesus to Matt Bragg really fast. That's a wide aspect term right there. Well, Matt Bragg's like, he wants to be Jesus. That's what he's going for. Yeah, really?

Yeah, somewhere between Jesus and Mitch Headberg. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, I keep trying to grow my hair. And I've tried a number of different times over the years. And I keep trying to grow my hair out. And it's just like, give up on it. Because I keep waiting for the moment when my hair is going to go down. And it doesn't ever go down.

It just continues to go up, up, and that's it. And so I end up wearing hats like this when I'm trying to grow my hair out. Same. When you see me wearing a hat, I will only wear a hat when I just, I can't, I just, my hair is a nightmare and I won't get it cut. So I will wear a hat. You won't see, like you won't see me now where I hat until I get America. Right.

It's just all yours, too. Not until what? I won't wear it every day. I'm totally good to haircut. I'm totally good to haircut. I think I'm gonna be friendly. Yeah, I told it in your haircut. You heard something else, sorry.

Okay. Uh, yeah. And then I'm keeping the beard because I'm getting so much gray hair. I like it. Yeah, gray hair is gray. I like, I love it. I think it's awesome.

I really do. I'm jazzed about it. Do you have any on your head or is it just in the beard? Mostly just the beard. Yeah, it hasn't made its way up there yet. Mind if I cut my shorter looks way gray or like when I keep my beard short like this, it looks super gray. And then my sideburns wouldn't do it.

But it's like, oh, the hair on the top of my head, I don't really have any gray in that at all. So I will say, you know what, as an aside, you know what, a great side effect of being Irish Jones's Godfather is I just get like, fucking awesome pictures of Irish, I just got this. I get them like five times a day. End videos, it's great, isn't it? It is really great.

So I love seeing when Michael tweets photos are heard in her little car. I know, it's so cute, the little, yeah. It's adorable. It's a remote control, dude. Yeah, he showed me earlier, that's pretty fun, cool. I was one of those cars when I was a kid, never had it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you showed me earlier. That's pretty fun. Cool. I was one of those cars when I was a kid. Never had it.

Yeah, yeah. So when you see pictures of Iris, do you, like, you got to be thinking about wanting to have kids. You're just so far gone. No, she's so cute though. Yeah. She said, there's your room in a back ahead, Clementine. Yeah.

And it was just like, whenever we go out to like eat or something, it doesn't do anything for me. It really does nothing to me. You ever smelled a baby's head? It's the best smell in the world. Oh, the fuck would I? No. He's not gonna be weird.

I'm glad you said no. He's not wrong. It is a yeah. No. Yeah. Baby's the fucking best dude. Baby's the fucking best. Fucking screaming shit machines.

I don't eat that. All right, so scream as much as you. If you're watching this podcast, you want to have a baby. Message Jeff. Hold on. I'm gonna have a baby. It's no more babies. So scream as much as you. If you're watching this podcast, you want to have a baby. Message Jeff. Don't want to. Don't want to.

Don't want to baby. Please. I had my one. That's, uh, yeah. Man, really Ramsey's the one and only. Speaking of shit machines. Uh, did you guys see that weird ass story about that? There, there was a school in New Jersey.

They kept finding someone was shitting on their school track every day, and they couldn't figure out who it was. On the track? Yeah. On the track at the high school. So they went through security camera footage, and they found out it was the superintendent of a different school district. Is that true?

Yeah, he was going to this other district's high school to shit on their track every morning. Had they just beat them in a track meter? I don't know. It's like like the person who has been accused of this and taken into custody has issued no statement. He's been put on leave from the school district. Can I ask you a question? What motivates you? What happens that you're shitty?

That's your life choice. You're the superintendent of a school district. You're like, well, it's 5'30 in the morning. You gotta go shit on a school track. Can I ask you a question, Gustavo? Have you ever in your life taken a vengeful shit? I don't know what that means. Yeah.

Like that. Like a vengeful shit. Like a vengeful shit. Like a vengeful shit? Or like in somebody's front porch. Or like in the, like they parked in your parking space. Like an upper decker. Like have you ever used?

I don't think so. Feces as a revenge tool. No, have you? No. It's kind of a genetic way, right? I thought you were gonna... I don't think so. Feces as a revenge tool. No, have you? No. It's kind of a genetic way, right? I thought you were gonna say you had. All right, I'm gonna say no. I'm fully recognizing that I've had a lot of life.

And that's possible I did, and it'll come to me later. But I don't think so. You remember that, dude? I don't know what. I don't remember conversations Gus and I had this morning. Yeah, he tried to tell me the same story again. Twice.

I try to tell him the two different stories that we'd already had. My... Have you ever done a revenge ship? No, no. memory thing started to create I've had revenge pisses though Go ahead. I think I was dude. There was this dude. I didn't like he was my roommate in the army I don't want to say his name because he might still be alive, but He was hurt it down. He was fucking Utah. I'll tell you that and I'm gonna tell more he was Mormon and

I'll tell you that. I'm gonna tell more. He was Mormon. He was a weasley little fucker. I shared a room with him and my friend Noe. He graduated journalism school and he was going on to his duty station. He went to bed and he had to get up at like five in the morning to leave.

Everything you get in the army goes into a duffle bag, right? You get two duffle bags in basic training. This is the way it wasn't a nine. It's not in the case. And he piled everything he had into his duffle bags, and then he went out drinking with his friends or whatever. And at like, I got up at like two in the morning to go to the bathroom and he still wasn't back yet.

And I fucking hated this dude, so I thought, how can I get revenge on him? So I took a bunch of stuff out of his duffle bag, and I pissed in his duffle bag, and then I put it back in, and then I did it to the other duffle bag, and can I get revenge on him? So I took a bunch of stuff out of his duffel bag and I pissed in his duffel bag, and then I put it back in, and then I did it to the other duffel bag, and then I pissed in his shoes for fun too. Just a little bit.

Just a little bit. No, that's fucking weird dude, that's really. How was 18? I know, but that's like, there's some stuff you just like, no, not dude, that's really fucking weird. Baby. That kinda makes me think of like,

the thing I've never understood is when people and I feel like This is the common story with like so and so got so drunk that they started pissing in the corner or they started pissing in the closet Like I pissing back yards of parties sometime at least you're pissing in a backyard like you're not pissing inside a house I had a friend one time we were in the army station of ford hood We went down surfing at Porter, Ancest he we all got drunk It was back when you'd like five dudes with share hotel room for 20 bucks a night You know you broke. And that's also where the party is.

And he took all of our wallets, and he put them in a corner in the wall, in the corner of the wall, and we woke up because we heard water, and he was just pissing on all of our wall. Yeah, totally blackout drunk. He had no idea what he was doing, just pissed all over for wallets.

Is there a type of person who does that? Like, why is it that some people do that? Well, he's drunk, but he did that. But still, some people do that. I've never done that when I'm drunk. Did I tell you that? I got another army story. This is great.

You probably told you this years ago, you might not remember it. The same place where I pissed on, I almost said his name, the guy's shoes in his two duffel bags. We shared a bathroom with sweet mates, right? And I had a whole issue where this fucking dude would get drunk and he would stand in the bathroom and spin in a circle and piss, and they just covered the whole room and said,

that was the whole thing, he got kicked out of the army. That dude got kicked out of the army. But there was another incident where this other guy named Joe, I have to remember all these people's names. I heard screaming at like three in the morning, four in the morning one night, we got up, we ran into the room. There's a dude on the ground laughing

and another guy kicking him. And like, we turn on the lights, you try to figure out what's wrong. And Joe's screaming and he's like, I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him. We have to pull him off the dude. The dude's just on the ground laughing. He doesn't know why.

I look at Joe at this smelly urine, Joe's covered in piss. Find out the dude. Joe was asleep. The dude came home drunk his piss one night. Drunk his piss. Drunk as pissed. He comes in, he thinks it's funny.

He just stands over Joe and just starts pissing on his head while he's asleep. And so Joe wakes up, pummel's the dude, get them on the ground. The guy's laughing too hard to control himself. And he's just like wailing, kicking him in the ribs. And we had to like break it. I don't know, I got covered in piss.

A lot of piss in the military. Apparently, I had no idea. It'd just be nice. That Joe, Joe Biden grew up to be the first person I'd say. No, but I had the same thing we'd sleep in, Hottos room, there were a pack as many people in him when I was in college. And we had a similar story.

My buddy, Guy knew Whitey. He got up in the middle of the night was drunk and pissed in the guys' suitcase. So he had to wear like one thing and close for the rest of the week in South Padre Island. Which is all for me. Spring break is time to get away with that.

But then I don't know what the next year. I think it was the only thing I've seen your frogs. I think it was the next year. We also packed another time. Some of us had to sleep on the floor. And I remember my buddy utter back, remember his call by their last names, we had one pillow for us.

So we can sleep next to each other and be on the pillow. So what pillow for two guys? It's for two guys. But we determined it was safer for us, our reputations, if we slept like this way, with my body going this way, his body going this way, we both slept on the pillow. Okay.

And then I wake up in the middle of the night. I wake up in the middle of the night, and my fucking face is all wet. Oh. And I remember, I remember whity pissing in the suitcase. I'm like, something fucking pissing. I was so mad. I got up, I went in the bathroom.

I was covered in blood. Water back got a nose bleed and so the entire pillow, and I'm covered in blood water back got a nose bleed And I'm covered And it was one of those It was an old pillowcase cat a cat a cartoon cat wearing like slippers on it Who the fuck even half this pillow and it was my buddy Jim. He was mad about his pillow Ruined and he because I brought this spare pillow. No, it's fucking ruined with all this blood I'm glad I bled so much yesterday. Meanwhile, I look like fucking Carrie.

Get the problem, Rose. I'm not calling to see if you remember that story. Covered in blood. What happened yesterday? Why'd you bleed? Our day before yesterday. I just broke a glass in the animals club at JFK. Oh, I read this.

I tried to call Twitter. Like, I sat down. I sat down, I got a, I tried to go on Twitter. Like, I sat down. I sat down, I got a Diet Coke from the bar and a pint glass and I sat down. I sat next to this old dude I was watching CNN. He had a beer and I went to grab a table to move it over from my laptop so I was gonna do some work and I went over to grab my Diet Coke

and he had moved his beer in front of my Diet Coke. So I hit it just enough to knock it into my Coke and something about the angle the way they hit It smashed both of the glasses the my glasses and it just shot beer and Diet Coke all down his leg and in his shoe and in his lap and glass when everywhere and he was like very rightly pissed off And I'm like, oh my god, and I freaked out and I just dove at the glass to try picking up the other way from I sliced my finger over right here. It was just like I, I can see, just white shit pulling out of it. It was, and it was like,

blah, blah, blah. So I'm like, ugh, I'm trying to take care of this dude, and I'm bleeding everywhere, and I can see that I need stitches. And so I ran to the bar to see if they had like a towel and they give me band aids. And I realized I'd bled all over the bar when I came back. And I started to clean up,

and I look at the ladies like, windexing everything, and they're all freaking out. And I realized I'm just started to clean up and I look and the lady's like, windexing everything and they're all freaking out and I realized I'm just like a trail of blood and the lady bandages me up, we disinfect me and we put a bandaid on, I go back and I continue cleaning up since this is a monumental mess

and I go back and I get, another round of paper towels and I'm cleaning it up and I drop in glass off and I look and this thing is black with blood again and the bandaid just falls off so we have to do it again. And I was three bandaids in before we got it to stop leading. And eventually I had to buy, I bought the old guy a beer

and we became friends, but yeah, it was like, there was just like a trail of blood going from the bar to my chair and then all over the ground and then all over the poor man's leg. I bled all over his leg. And then back to the bar, it was hideous. Do you remember one time years ago, might have been like in the,

maybe before Rupert's teeth, you and I went downtown and we were at that real shitty bar, the library and they have like the bar. And then punch club type? Maybe, yeah. And then to the side of it was like that big staircase that went up and then it went left and went right.

And we were like, all right, we got a drink. We were like, you wanna go upstairs? Yeah, let's go upstairs. We walk up to the stairs and the stairs, it's like out of the shining. They're just covered in blood. It looks like the elevator doors have opened and there's just blood running down them.

And we were like, yep, let's not go upstairs. Do you not remember that? I vaguely do. It was fucked up like to be at a bar downtown, it's like, oh no, the stairs are just covered in blood tonight. Don't go upstairs. Blood when you see it, be at a bar downtown. It's like, oh no, the stairs are just covered in blood tonight. Don't go upstairs. Blood when you see it, it's a shocking color. And it must be something evolutionary that would react to blood.

But when you see actual blood, it kind of freaks you out when you see it. We saw it in Lester when we went there for something. There was some pub and there was literally a puddle of blood outside of a pub because somebody had had a fight there. And it was just like, yeah, seeing that color was just nuts. You and I experienced that in San Jose once, do you remember that night? That was the half black half Korean. Cinebar. Cinebar, yeah, Cinebar.

You were with him that night? The half black half Korean night? Yeah, yeah. It was a two of us. I love that story. It was great. He would have been ruthless. I was great because I got to watch it and I got to watch how uncomfortable it was.

What, you know, a guss having to navigate an odd social situation is always the best. So I got this because I got to watch it and I got to watch how uncomfortable Gus, well, you know, Gus having to navigate an odd social situation is always the best. So I got this, I had a front receipt for it. We should probably explain that too. The half like half green thing is people like to tell Gus what race he is. Yeah, we want to categorize me for some reason. Unprovoked.

Unprovoked. Like, ah, you're so bad because you had to go to the, you had to go by two pool tables to get to the bathroom. Gus and I were both walking back toward the bathroom. And as he's going, a guy literally takes a pool queue and stops his progress. Like Gus bumps into the pool queue and the guys like, hold on a second.

It's just not going. I got this. Gus was like, what? He's like, I got it. I'm good at this. I'm good at this. I get it right every time. Gus was like, I don't know what you're talking about.

And that's when he goes, half black, half Korean. And Gus goes, excuse me. And he goes, you're half black, half Korean. And Gus goes, no black, half Korean, he goes, excuse me. And he goes, you have black, half Korean, he goes, he goes, no, no, I'm Hispanic. And he goes, no, nope, half black, half Korean. I know these things. And Gus said to convince the guy he was Mexican. I remember he had his friend there who was Mexican.

And he goes, hey, this guy says he's Mexican. Like, what's up, he goes, hey, what's up? Yeah, I guess Mexican. I don't remember that, I'm not blind. I don't remember that. I'm not that. Let me read this thing here. What I'm wondering when this episode of Rusey podcast is also brought to you by HIMS. So check this out. 66% of men start losing their hair by age 35.

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Super convenient saves you a lot of time. You can order now, our listeners get a trial month of him's for just $5 today. Right now while supplies last, you can see the website for full details. This will cost you hundreds. If you went to a doctor of pharmacy, it's so easy to use him's go to fourhims.com slash rooster. That's F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com slash rooster fourhims.com slash rooster. him's comm slash rooster big thanks to him's for sponsoring this episode of the rooster podcast. So I read this crazy headline the other day that had an even more fucked up statistic buried inside the article. The headline was man trying to take selfie dies after being mauled by bear. I'm trying to take a selfie. So let me just try to figure out the story.

So the dude went somewhere where there was a bear. I'm assuming it was probably, he was taking selfies, it's not in the woods. He's probably at like a zoo or somebody who owns a bear, thinks he can take a selfie with it or gets too close to an enclosure and bambo. It's one of those drive-through like animals so far, things. Neither. This dude's with his friends coming back from a wedding

and they're driving and there's a bear on the side of the road. Wow. So he gets out and decides he wants to take a selfie with a bear. And this was in India and the bear mulls him and kills him. Bears in India. Yeah, I didn't know.

It was to imagine the two. So they're connected. So I'm reading the article and there's a sentence in there. It's like they draw no attention to it. It's just part of the article. The sentence that caught my attention was, India had the highest rate of deaths linked to selfies for the last two years.

Between March 2014 and September 2016, with 60% of all deaths taking place there. 60% of all selfie deaths happen in India. Well, there's a lot of people in India. There's one third of the world, no, one third lives in India and China together. There's a billion people in India, right? Yeah, a billion people.

It's a lot of people. Of the 127 reported selfie deaths in that period, 76 of them occurred in India. Does that say I've been to India? There's a lot of shit in India that wants to kill you. I just think it's just like, it's a deadly people are taking selfies at that point in time. Like Australia, shit wants to kill you too, but I feel like you got to go seek that stuff out. You know, you can, you ever see those videos of people on, uh, in India and they're like on the roof and they're looking down a hole and all sorts of fucking cheetah pops out.

Yeah. And it's a tax everybody. Oh, it's amazing. Well, we saw that one where it was a years ago where it's like, there's a leopard outside an apartment building. Yeah, it's like the guys checking his mail or an leopard attack. Have you seen the ones where do you just waiting for their train and monkeys attack them? Like, to come up and steal the shit, while they're just waiting to go to work

with their briefcase. Yeah. It's fucking nuts, though. Yeah, I mean, you cannot predict or control wild animals. Wild animals, it's just baffling to me. So this guy got killed by the bear? This guy got killed by the bear. And his friends filmed it.

Yeah, they'll happen. His friends filmed it? Yeah, they were, I mean, they're fucking video in this thing. More than they do. They're not gonna attack the bear. Right, yeah, they're- I guess they're in a car, they can hit the bear with the car. Yeah, I put this like, they're all together.

And then who is this? This, the forced ranger said that the person died on the spot. He added, the bear is being treated for its injuries. So it's like, why? People give a shit about the animal. Yeah, right. Not only did that happen, why? People give a shit about the animal. Yeah. So yeah, not only did that happen, but like the bears and the bear hospital,

and they're taking care of it. I would never do that. I'm less outraged by this. Mainly because when people do stupid crazy stuff, the thing that makes it interesting is that it's dangerous, right? So there is a component where certain amount of people have to either get hurt or killed voluntarily, you know, essentially, in order to keep that stuff kind of interesting. I don't like

stuff where people take selfies with baby dolphins and take them out of the water or maybe fucking dolphin dies. I don't like that. That upsets me. But at the same time, I am not one of those people who puts animals, values their lives more than people. I think people are the most important. And when a dog gets put down, because it attacks people, I'm like, okay, yeah. Don't get the dog shouldn't attack people. It's like that's, you know, attack or kill a person unprovoked essentially.

Yeah, that's, that animals probably gotta go. Yeah, and it's always there to be when. It falls in that kind of way though. Or when we see like, again, I'm watching TV. So I see commercials. When I see a commercial, it's like, oh, you know, help this animal. You can donate to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win.

It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win.

It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. Or when we see like, again, I'm watching TV. So I see commercials. When I see a commercial, it's like, oh, you know, it's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always there to be a win. It's always are people I read the other day 1.5 million people a year die from diarrhea Because of a lack of access to clean water. Yeah, how fucked up is how many people 1.5 million people a year? That's I from that I think it was like 2300 people a day or something I don't remember the math But it was a ridiculous amount a number That's probably very young people too right it's mostly all burn you can't even turn his fucking toilet off Yeah, I know I gotta go and jiggle the handle. It's probably very young people too. Right. It's mostly all burn you can't even turn his fucking toilet off. Yeah. I know. I got to go and jiggle the handle. He's Christ. He doesn't even he's burning 1800 bucks a month. He doesn't give a shit. I got to reduce by the sitting. Wait, it wasn't worth $18.00. But Timberlost had done. But uh,

something you got to I mean, I made the decision at that point in time. I am no longer gonna be a lamb. It was like, I think my discussion with Ezra was, hey, yeah, I went over and like jiggle the handle and everything, he's like, oh, it's gonna be the invoice. I was like, I'll talk to see, I'll take care of it. And I was like, okay, and it goes, and I'm just gonna move out.

I was like, okay, man, that's the best. Anyway, I think it was going like six months later. Yeah. So, don't be a landlord if you're not someone who can be a landlord and also it's a- We can pay attention and deal with it. Don't rent to your friends. You rent too much, you rent into Gavin at one point, right?

Well, I mean, to rent to Gavin would imply that he paid me rent. Did he not? Gavin lived for free in my house for a long time. Off and on for nine, 10 years. Oh, he paid on occasion. He paid on occasion. He gets all bent out of shape when I say he didn't pay. There were instances where he paid occasionally.

Occasionally. It's probably the best deal ever the thing that I'm pissed about is when we put the second floor on we all moved out of the house for a year we went and lived in another house for a year rented a house and then at the tail end we realized that the studio didn't have a bathroom and I thought how much actually would it be to put a bathroom in and we started how much actually would it be a bathroom in and a kitchen and what if we turn the studio into an actual livable space for Gavin and so I went to and I said hey it's going to be X amount of money it's going to cost me so many thousands of dollars to do this at the rent you almost pay

at the rate you will count you should pay rent it would take two or three years for me to recoup that money can you assure assure me that if I spend X amount of money, you'll live in the studio for two or three more years. So I don't have any interest in renting it out outside of you. Right. There's a friend thing. I'm not looking to be a landlord and have a strange room on my backyard. Just I pity you and your British. So you need all the help you can get.

Do you think you'd live here for another two or three years if I spend so many thousands of dollars putting a bathroom in a kitchen in for you, so you have a little bit more autonomy and a more livable space? And he goes, yeah, of course, absolutely. And I was like, okay, great. Pay the bill, debt it, did all the work

four months later he moved up. And how Gavin? Yeah. And now you've come to find out that project is the untreated wood. You're dealing with it all these years later. And that problem, that project was the untreated wood. You're dealing with it all these years later. And that problem, that project was the untreated wood that they're dealing with so many years late.

The gift that keeps on giving. Yeah, that that was all being redone. Yeah. So we're wrapping up soon, but I wanted to introduce someone before before we. Is it me? We head out. Hi everybody, I'm Bernie. I work at the company.

We have a, he's not back there. We have a new podcast producer that we've worked quite a bit in the past, uh, who just started last week. This is the first time sitting back in the control room working on the podcast. I'm kind of mapping because they're moving to camera. Um, it's someone. Yeah, but you can't vamp it. Say you're vamping.

That ruins the whole house everyone doing tonight. I'm doing good. You set up a poll. Are you doing good? Not so good. Let us know. Uh, it's Eric, Eric Eric Badoor. Hey Thank you. We're in the dark t-shirt and baseball cap uniform

I heard that that was the only way to get on this podcast so I dressed up today There we like coordinated, sorry What's it? He's got the green and black shirt green and black hat. Yep. Didn't know that. No, they're not oh you knew it I'm the other part of a set. No. Oh wow. Yeah, it's a set of companies I used to work for. Did you work at, you worked at Razer? Yeah. We're just getting free stuff.

You have to have to. I got it. You're saying this nice hat. Yeah, that's what they're known for. People, people think it's a computer company. It's a hat company. I got a Razer wireless headset, probably one of the best things I ever purchased for my PC.

Fantastic. That's the thing ever. It's great. What's it called? The wireless headset? Yeah. Let's say Manor. That's it. Yeah.

And I'll work there. I'll work there. Just so you know, I'm working here now. I'm good at my job. So you know the names of products. And I think you can name every show we really all I need. He can name this the Ristothec podcast. Yeah, that's right.

That's right there. I'm be good at this. How long have you been here, Eric? Been here in Austin or been here? Been here at Ristothec. Working at Ristothec. A week. Last Monday was my first day. Oh, I guess I've been out of town. I was about to say you've been here. Been here at Roostery's, working at Roostery's. A week. Last Monday was my first day.

You, I guess I've been out of town. I was about to say, you've been here a week. You were talking about getting hands cut up. Oh yeah, that's true. I was here all last week. Were you? Yeah, I was here too. Yeah, we had lunch.

Yeah, you had lunch. Where'd you guys go? Did you go to Mighty Fine? We were gonna go to Turn Table, but they don't open till three. Turn Table. It's where house pizza used to be. New pizza place. Oh, so we went over to East Side Pies. Yeah, but they don't open till three. Yeah, turn table. It's where house pizza used to be. New pizza place.

Oh, so we went over to East Side Pies. Yeah, we ended up going to turn table. We in the house. And we're in so where's that? I haven't had lunch. I'm sure we're in here, but you there. I haven't, years. When was the last time we had lunch?

You haven't asked me. Eric said you want to go lunch? I said, bring you. You want to go lunch? Well, let's not interrupt this conversation here. Eric, what are you going to do? What's the thing you're going to do for the podcast? I'm the podcast producer. So is that me?

Whatever you need, I'll get for you. I need a better coast is what I need. Can you get the podcast? We'll get Jeff Paul. We'll get Jeff Paul. If I can't get back for a gust to send you an invite, you'll be 350 podcasts without being on it. Well, I get, I'll save on my birthday my mighty fine coupon.

And then I'll just wait until the day after gust of birthday and then I'll go to mighty fine it, hang out all day. There you go. And then I'll just say I went to lunch with next February. I'll pencil again. So were you were you living in San Diego? Yeah, I made made the move out here. I know what docs you are big old big old drive and I'm out here. I'm out of doors for a little while and moving into a place and I'm here in Austin. The weather's miserable, but it's all right. It's not in the new drive again and just wait, dude. We've got too many erics around here.

What's miserable about it? Misurable about the drive? No, the weather, the weather, the humidity. Okay. Yeah, I'm from Southern California, man. We don't have any. You look like the ocean. You say the ocean's right there. There's no humidity, man.

Do San Diego has perfect weather. Oh, I'm killing it. I didn't know until I left. Yeah, I messed up. He must be so happy to be out from mega 64 at this point. Yeah, they gave me a shirt and they kicked my ass out. Oh, really? Yeah, I see.

I see you. Did you think they've noticed you're gone yet? No, not yet. Did you tell them? Yeah, well, I think Derek knows. Sean will probably think I'm still doing the podcast. Yeah. That'll be.

Now, is this gonna cause beef? Did we iron? Oh, do we got beef with that? I know, you got, well it depends. Did we clear this? Do you want beef? I don't know. I didn't ask anyone.

I didn't ask anybody. Who hired you? Patrick. Really? You did Patrick? All right. On purpose, you knew? Yeah.

He probably, he's, he's, he's, I've been here a week and that's the response stuff. That was pretty pretty detective. Yeah. So we didn't, we didn't reach out to Mega 64 at all. No, we're gonna do like a make good kind of like sopranos thing or what? Well, you do like a thing where in business where,

and I did this whenever we hire someone who's established somewhere else as you're clearly an established talent in the industry, you reach out to where they are and you say, hey, just so you know, Eric's coming, he's moving to Austin, we forget to listen, someone of the quality of character of Eric moves to Austin,

we kind of have to give them an offer, an offer to come work at Rishi because we were hate for them to come to Austin, we wouldn't offer them. So we'd only reach out and tell you that, you know, make sure not that there's okay with you, but just like just giving you a heads up. I understand. And I've actually done that in the past. I've actually had someone said I would hope you please don't do that. I remember that. I was like, what the fuck? They probably wouldn't call. Please please don't do that but we should have at least traded Tyler co and an employee to be named later. Oh, oh, whoa, no Tyler and someone dude Tyler Co is gonna like bench press those guys like that was pretty good. He would be with him I'm not come on

The video the video that mega 60 foot four put out like three weeks ago the black Panther was so fucking brilliant it might be one of the perfect interviews and you can look it up It's I think we might imagine the podcast that week which is why is it there a white Oh why no white pan? Why no white pan? That's it. God what a fucking Kids those kids minus Eric are so funny I love the kids are in their mid 30s. I know there's the kids do I love those collaboration videos

We did a few years back at Ruffalbinator. It's like eight years ago. Yeah, where we did the was it what what do we call a starry night Or whatever where we had like the two different stories from different perspectives one was with me and one was with Rocco I was really really cool. Yeah, I Why don't we do that again? That's what we do that. I don't know. You want me to call them? I mean, they're probably available. I mean, you burn that bridge, right?

Oh, yeah. No, this is a busy time of years. And they're going to the E3. I just read this a little, Paxi. Not telling you. We've worked for fucking 15 years. And I think we've tried our best.

You know, you have your whole Let's Play network and everything. Megas 64 has a level of industry credibility that we fucking dream of. I know. Like they get invited to GDC to be the host of GDC and like make videos. And GDC's like to be that video with Reggie fees on me. Yeah. Yeah. So where he just hit us up and he's like, Hey, I'm doing a kickstart.

Do you guys do videos for me? It's like, yeah, sure. What are we doing? What are we doing? What are we doing? I'm sorry doing? What are we doing wrong? I'll say you can't say us anymore, but I know, sorry. I got to answer that.

They're dead. Sorry, boss. Yeah, sorry. Look, you sweating. It's not just the humidity, nice. Also, I'll thank you not to wear that shirt here anymore, as well. Yeah, Jeff has an entire line of clothing

that you can pick from. Yeah, perfect. You get one discount a year. Yeah, thank you to lunch. Did you take it to where? When we went to lunch? Yeah, we went to East Side Pies. Yeah.

Did you ever keep on from his birthday? No, I already did. Did he make you pay? Yeah, what the fuck? Get the hell out of here. All right, let's wrap this up. Do you want to sleep at Jeff? One last question, do you want to sleep at Jeff?

Now's your chance. This is your chance. I'll catfish you, but that's it. Oh, nice buddy. Catfish for that. He's got enough of that. All right, well, thanks for watching everybody. We'll see you guys next week.

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