rSlash - r/AITA for Calling My Daughter Ugly?

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:06 Birthday cake 3:00 Average looking 6:53 How I was raised 9:18 Pay me 11:04 Buying food 15:21 Vegan host Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bet on the NFL with Fandule, official sports put partner of the NFL. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sports book. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario, gambling problem call 18665-3126-100 to visit connectsontario.ca. Salad and garlic homo Welcome to our slash am I the butthole where a father throws out his daughter's birthday cake? Am I the butthole for leaving my step-dotters birthday party after my husband throughout the cake that I made for her? I've been married to my husband Jeff for a year now He has a 12-year- old daughter with his deceased wife. When I first met Jeff, it was obvious that he was struggling as a single parent. For his

daughter's birthday, he'd usually get a cake from the bakery. This has been the case since her mom passed away. I thought that I'd bake her a birthday cake for her 12th birthday, which was last week, as a gesture to show some motherly love and support. Jeff agreed, and he told me what his daughter's favorite flavors are and what she likes and so on. I baked the cake in the flavor she likes and the icing she likes, but one thing that was missing was the blueberries. I couldn't include them because I went to the nearest store and they didn't have any.

I was running out of time and I couldn't get them, so I ended up just leaving the cake as it was thinking that it wouldn't be a big deal. The party started and Jeff was busy taking care of everything else. He then came into the kitchen and asked to see the cake before bringing it out. I showed it to him, and he got so angry when he saw that there were no blueberries on top. He went on and on about how I didn't fully commit to making the cake, and he trusted me to take

care of it. And just basically said that he should have just ordered one from the bakery. We got into an argument and he ended up taking the cake and throwing it in the trash can. I was stunned and he said, you know what, forget it, I'll get one from the bakery. I blew up and screamed at him. He told me to stop, but I went upstairs, got dressed, and left. He tried to get me to stay, but I refused and went to my parents. He later called and then texted about how I overreacted and hurt him and my stepdaughter by leaving. He also said that I created the situation by not properly making the birthday cake just because I did put blueberries on top. I refused to respond, but my parents say that he was justified since he must have felt

pressured from the stress of making his daughter happy on her birthday. He keeps trying to speak to me, but I'm not responding. Am I the butthole? Did I overreact? Yo, what's the big deal about blueberries? Who cares that there's no blueberries on top of a cake? Why is your husband so wrapped up about it? So not only is your husband disrespecting you, but he also threw away a present meant

for his daughter. So isn't that also disrespectful to his daughter because he's tossing her birthday gifts? Oh Pee, what is going on with your husband here? This is just so bizarre and out there and like being angry over nothing for no reason that I have to feel like there's other red flags as well, right? Is your husband normally this controlling and abusive and just mean or is this a weird one-off incident? In any event, OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.

I think the way that you react to this pretty normal. I'm giving your husband two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole? Am I the butthole for telling my 14 year old daughter that she's average looking? I'm a 39 year old woman and I have a very insecure 14 year old daughter who has a depressingly unhealthy obsession with her looks. She often avoids mirrors and pictures because her mood instantly drains when she sees herself. She constantly asks her father or me if we think that she's pretty and we always tell her the same thing, that she's a beautiful girl inside and out. I understand how most teenage girls are with her body image because I was a teenage girl

at one point myself. However, my daughter's vanity is not only becoming exhausting to those around her, but I fear that it's causing her to slowly lose herself. Yesterday, I decided to sit her down to chat with her about this, to discuss what's bothering her, and to see if she's willing to visit a therapist. She told me that she didn't want to talk about it, but as her mother, of course, I'm going to be worried about her, so I insisted and she finally agreed. A few minutes into the conversation, she asked me.

Mom, I want you to be completely honest with me. That means no sugar-coating. The kids at my school think that I'm ugly and say that I look like a bird because I have a big nose. Do you really think I'm beautiful or are you just lying? I'm an honest person, so I gave her the most honest answer I had. I told her that she's average looking like most people in the world are, and that it's not a bad thing

to have an average appearance. She immediately got up and left without saying a word, and just went into a room for the rest of the night. Today, she's been cold and distant, and I think that I upset her, which wasn't my intention at all. Am I the butthole? Yo, have you guys ever seen Inside Out?

And like, it's got these little magic creatures who live inside Little Girl's Head, and they deal with memories they get formed. And every once in a while, when a major life event happens, it forms what's called a core memory, which becomes like a cornerstone of the kid's personality. Oh, Pihuah!

With this story, you have created a core memory for this child. And in the movie Inside Out, most core memories were happy, so they were like bright yellow, but sometimes, when a really bad event happens, the core memory was blue to represent sadness. I think this core memory is probably blue, OP. I mean, she's OP, come on! Teenage girls don't already have enough on their play that now she's got to deal with an unsupportive parent. I really genuinely truly believe that what you said to your daughter is gonna be a fundamental

memory that she is never going to forget for the rest of her life that is going to permanently affect herself image. Jeez, a teenage girl already has a deal with predators and social pressure and teachers and bullies. She can't even at least have her mom in her corner. You know, many, many years ago, I heard the phrase, when a woman thinks about herself, she hears her father's voice. So, if her father was critical, she thinks critically of herself.

And if her father was supportive, she thinks positive things about herself. So, I go out of my way to tell my daughter every single day I love her, and I'm trying to get into the habit of complimenting her appearance every day to build up strong self confidence Say you're pretty today. You dress looks so nice. I love your hair something like that Just so she you know has a decent amount of confidence because I wanted her to grow up to be a happy loving person Man, I'm just so blown away by this post OP. You're literally bullying your daughter How hard is it to support your own kid my god?

bullying your daughter. How hard is it to support your own kid, my god? Oh, I'm giving you 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Nine times out of 10 when someone says, I'm just a really honest person, that's just code for, I'm a complete and total douchebag. I'm giving your daughter 0 out of 5 buttholes. She's upset at you and she should be upset at you. Am I the butthole for telling my parents that I'm behaving exactly like they raised me to behave? I'm a middle kid. My older brother is the golden child, and my sister is the baby who always got her way.

I was mostly ignored, and I was fine with it. I got into lots of trouble, but my parents didn't really care enough to either punish me or help me through it. My guidance counselor in high school took an interest in me though. She saw something in me. I hope that everyone who needs it has someone like her. She saw that my parents didn't really get involved in my education. She stepped up.

She helped me find out what I love. She motivated me enough that I got a full ride scholarship, which was good because my parents had dick all for me. I'm 30 and now planning my wedding. It's gonna be a destination wedding because I want it small. We're paying for our six guests to come. My future in-laws, including my husband's mom, dad, brother, and sister, and my maternal grandparents. That's it. We're gonna have a big party for friends and family when we get back.

I'm not no contact with my family, I just don't make any effort to talk to them, and they reciprocate. They did find out about the wedding though. family when we get back. I'm not no contact with my family, I just don't make any effort to talk to them and they reciprocate. They did find out about the wedding though. Now they all want to come. I said that they're welcome to come and I sent them invitations. They asked me if I needed anything to set up their travel plans. I said they needed to get here on their own. They're invited, but I'm not paying. They said that they raised me better than that,

and since I was paying for my fiance's family, I should pay for them too. But that's a hard no, hard. I told them that, actually, my fiance is the one paying. She earns about the same money as me, but she has a settlement from her first marriage. I never told them about the settlement. They, again, said that they raised me better than to ignore family. These are the same people who skipped my graduation from high school and university. I have a million other examples, but I think that says it all. I just replied that I was happy they were interested in being part of my wedding day, and I hope they could make it, but I fully understood if they gave it a pass.

I said that they were the ones who raised me to think of myself as not really being a part of their family, so I was actually behaving exactly like they raised me. I'm on your side OP, maybe it's time to upgrade kind of no contact to actually no contact. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving your family 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for making my oldest child pay back a $3,000 dress that she ruined? My oldest daughter, Bethany who's 16, has a step sibling, Maria, who's 14, almost 15. Bethany and I are white while my husband and Maria are Mexican. They've been in our lives for the past seven years, and overall, our relationship has been good.

Maria's Keen's in Yara's coming up, and my husband and his ex-wife took her out to get her dress. The dress and alterations came out to around $3,000. My daughter has been very jealous of the whole party. I informed her that this is part of their culture, just like when she had a huge sweet 16 party with her friends. I spent more time with her to try to make her feel better about it and I got her own much cheaper dress for the party. The party is supposed to be in two weeks, but my daughter,

after an argument with Maria about the TV, scribbled Sharpie all over the expensive dress and ripped the back. Everyone got pissed about that. I gave money to my husband and his ex-wife to try to get a new dress ASAP. I told my daughter that she'll need to get a job and pay back the full price of the dress as punishment. We got into a huge argument over it. My daughter says that this whole situation isn't fair because I'm choosing Maria and being a jerk. But, am I being a jerk? Opie, you would be a jerk if you didn't punish your daughter. Your daughter's 16, that's old enough

to start really taking responsibility for your action. You can't just trash a $3,000 items and be like, whoops, Teehee, I'm a 16 year old teenager, not my problem. Now that's not how the world works, man. If you don't teach your daughter consequences now, then you're basically raising her to be a terrible person. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Bethany 3 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole because I won't buy food for my ex and our kids? My ex and I divorced when our kids were young. Our kids are now 12 and 15 years old. We've been divorced for 7 years now. We have 50-50 custody and she remarried so Spousal support is done. Her new husband recently left her. I don't know why and I'm not interested in the particulars. In my opinion, he didn't seem like a terrible guy and he left her their house so once

again I have no idea if there's a debt load or anything like that. She called me last week to see if I could please help her out with some food. She said that she had run through her budget for food for her and the kids and basically begged me to help her out. I asked her to give me a few minutes and I'd call her back. I talked to my girlfriend who lives with me and we agreed that we could spare some food. We have a freezer full of elk, vines and wild hog as well as a well-stocked pantry. We also have some beef, pork, and chicken. I called my ex back and told her to come by and pick up a big load of groceries. This is where it got weird.

She said that she didn't want groceries. She wanted me to give her money for Uber Eats or something. I said no! I have two weeks worth of food that you can have, but I'm not giving you money for takeouts. She called me a butthole for expecting her to be grateful for my scraps. That I was expecting her to be all domestic? What? Everything I was going to give her was either frozen meat, canned veggies, fresh vegetables from the garden, and pasta and rice and unopened bags.

I want my kids to eat well. Both of my kids hunt, and my son, the older one, is a pretty good cook. He regularly makes meals for all of us at my house. Both of my kids eat game meat as well as store-bought meat. I honestly thought that I was doing what she asked. I told my girlfriend not to bother packing anything up. I texted both my kids and told them to let me know if they were actually going hungry and I would take care of everything. Pfft, both kids texted me back and said that there was food in the house. It just had to be cooked. Both of them also said that if I was willing to spare some elk and hog roasts, then they would happily take them. Ha, I laughed and said that I would take them over later.

My ex, however, is telling everyone that I'm trying to manipulate her into behaving like a housewife and refusing to buy food for my kids. Some people are taking her side and saying that I'm a dick for not helping her out. So I'm asking for 100% balls out honesty here. I don't think that I'm in the wrong, but maybe I'm missing something. Okay Opie, let me pull my pants down so I can get my balls out for 100% balls out honesty here When both your kids texted you and they're like no dad we got plenty of food That's so funny to me because most kids at the opposite you need to get more food in the house

They would jump at the chance because I remember being a hungry 15 year old I would eat anything. Oh food. Yeah, I'm down totally. What is it? I don't care. Bring it over. I'll eat it. But they're like, but they're like, no, we got plenty of food, Dad. We just got to cook it.

It's not a big deal. And how is she accusing you of forcing her to be domestic? It would be one thing if you were like, yes, I'll bring you elk meat, but only if you put on a 50s housewife dress, put on makeup, put on an apron, and when I come over you cook me a three course meal that I eat and then leave. Then I think she would have an argument for you forcing her to be domestic.

But if you're just buying her meat, you're not forcing her to be, I mean I guess technically she is being domestic, but you're not benefiting from it. So, so what's your motivation? Where's the logic? This doesn't make any sense, especially since the 15 year old can cook. Oh my God, okay. Opie, is that the you?

Don't know the particulars of why your ex-wife got divorced a second time. I think I'm starting to get a sense for why. Your ex-wife is selfish, entitled disrespectful and lazy. Also, I got a point out, if OP has 50-50 custody, then he literally is helping to support his kids. He's helping by watching them 50% of the time. OP, you get an easy zero out of five buttles. I'm giving your wife, let's say two out of five buttocks, one for each of my

balls that are currently out. Am I the buttole for telling my vegan sister that she can't serve only vegan food at our family reunion? Every year, our family has a reunion where different members host. This year, it's my younger sister's turn. She's been vegan for about 3 years and is quite passionate about it. We all respect her choices and make sure there's a good variety of vegan options whenever we have family gatherings. When she announced that she'll be hosting, she also said the entire menu would be vegan to align with her beliefs and that it's a chance for the family to try something different. Some family members were excited, but others, including many of the older folks, were pretty

upset, and felt like they were being forced into her lifestyle, even if just for one meal. I spoke to her privately and asked if she'd be open to including a few non-vegan dishes for those who aren't keen on a full vegan menu. She got quite defensive, saying that this was her chance to showcase veganism and that for one meal, everyone can give it a go. I respect her beliefs, but I also think that forcing an entire family to adopt her choices, even if just for one meal isn't fair. She's now upset with me for not being supportive and says that I'm not respecting her choices. Am I the butthole? Okay, if your sister is hosting and buying

the food and cooking, then she gets to decide what's on the table. I didn't understand why you guys are so sensitive about it. She's forcing her lifestyle on us. Give me a break, dude. It's a salad. Just eat the salad. Or don't just mope in the corner that you didn't get your steak, and then afterwards go to McDonald's and buy a hamburger or something. It's not a big deal. OP, I'm giving you and the upset family members 0.5 out of 5 buttholes, and I'm giving your sister 0 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.