rSlash - r/AITA for Refusing to Give My Boyfriend My House?

Episode Date: November 30, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:07 My building 3:20 Opportunity 6:45 Custody dispute 9:49 Baby shower 13:47 Pretty privilege Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where Opie's boyfriend expects her to just give him half of her house. Am I the butthole for not telling my boyfriend that I owned the building we live in? When I was 18, my dad gifted me a two-story house. I am extremely thankful because we are not upper class, but my dad bought this house for a cheap price a long time ago. I know that this is an extreme privilege and I'm forever grateful for this. The layout of this building is like an apartment, but it's a house.

So basically, each story has its own separate entry, its own kitchen and bathroom. I live upstairs while I rent out the downstairs. My boyfriend, who's 25, moved in with me about three months ago and we've been together for six months. I haven't asked him for money, utilities, or rent. The only thing he contributes to is groceries, which we split 50-50. I haven't brought up that I own the building because it's not something I

tell many people. If people ask me, I of course tell them that I own it, but if they just assume that I'm a renter, they can believe that. So far, my boyfriend has never brought up the topic of a landlord, the renter downstairs, or the owner of the building. This last Tuesday, the downstairs renter came up to tell me that her freezer had stopped working. I answered the door, and I suppose my boyfriend heard us talking. I went downstairs to take a look, and the two of us came to a conclusion that she would buy a new one, send me the receipt, and I would just give her the money for it.

She was very grateful for this solution. When I went upstairs, my boyfriend asked if the freezer could be fixed, and I told him no, but she was going to buy a new one and I would pay for it. He looked at me like I was crazy, and asked me why the hell I would pay for her freezer. I told him that because I'm her landlord and the freezer was there when she started renting, I would stand for the cost. He just asked me, are you serious? And I said that I was. He then began screaming at me, asking me why the hell I would hold this information from him and that I was an evil person. I said I was sorry for not telling him, but I didn't

think that it would matter. He said that he couldn't believe that he was together with someone who's a landlord. That landlord just used people for money, and that the only thing landlords care about is money. And we would rather have people be homeless than offering affordable rents. To be clear, I charge my downstairs renter of 500 bucks a month. I understand that many people have had trouble with landlords, but I try my best to be a good one. He demanded that I give him 50% of the money that I make from rent, or else I was just as bad as he thought. Was I really

the butthole for not telling him? He hasn't talked to me since Tuesday, and I've tried telling him that I'm truly sorry, but he doesn't answer me at all. You know, the ironic thing is that effectively, you are already paying this guy half of rent because normally when someone moves in with someone else, they're responsible for their half of the rent. But since you're not charging him, then he's basically just pocketing that extra money. And even then, your boyfriend's logic

doesn't make any sense because you have to pay utilities and taxes so that money comes out of your pocket, but he gets 100% of the profits and you have to spend your profits on maintenance of the house. Hope he, I think it's time to reconsider your relationship with this guy. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes, I'm giving your boyfriend two out of five buttholes.

Am I the butthole for not giving my son the same opportunity due to his choices? I'm a 56 year old man and I have four kids together with my wife. We have three daughters ages 32, 30, and 24. We also have a son, Lucas, who's 26. Since the birth of each of our kids, me and my wife have put in monthly payments into a college fund for each of them. The amount in these funds was enough to cover all four of our kids' college educations. Our kids all chose different paths in life, whether it was their degree, place of education,

or what type of school they all went with something different. When our oldest, Chloe graduated high school, she talked to us about how she was unsure about what she wanted to do with her life, and she had been thinking about taking a gap year. We talked to her and told her that it was her choice, that if this is what she wanted, then she should do it and not rush into education. So she took two years off and worked. During this time, she worked on an agreement with my wife and me and paid us 250 bucks in rent each month to continue living with us. She still ate our food, and we cooked for her and still bought her

necessities. The 250 bucks she paid us each month were put into a savings account that we gave her access to when she and her now husband were beginning to talk about buying a house. Even though the situation wasn't the same with each kid, they all knew about their college funds and how this money would be used. Our second daughter lived with us three years after college and our third daughter lived with us during college. They both took part in this. The issue is with my son.

He, like his older sister, wants to take a gap year. We encouraged him to do so and he asked if he could stay with us. We told him yes, but we also told him about the rent situation. He was not happy with this, saying that he's our son, so we should want him to live with us for as long as he needs. We explained to him what the money would be used for, and he said that he didn't care. He was angry with us for a long time

and ended up staying with a friend of his. This all happened around eight years ago. Now, we have a good relationship with both him and his wife who are expecting their first kid. He recently bought up that each of his sisters got money to buy a house, and he showed me a picture of a house that he and his wife had been looking at. I agreed that the house looked nice, and he responded by asking when I could give him the money.

I told him that he made a choice when he was 18 and that he wouldn't receive any money. He said that it was unfair that he was young and dumb and he shouldn't be punished for it. I told him that I didn't have that kind of money to just give him. He left the house after arguing a bit more, and my wife and his sisters are all on my side. However, his wife and my mom have said that I'm in the wrong, and I should want my grandbaby to have a place to live and shouldn't punish him for mistakes that he had as a young boy. Am I the butthole for not giving him the money?

Yo, what is this kid talking about? You didn't give your other daughter's money, you held it in the bank of dad while they lived with you and then you gave it back to them in a later date. It wasn't your money you were giving them, it was their money. So essentially what your son is asking for here is just free money. If you gave him money, which you know is a fine for you to do, then it would be unfair for your other daughters who didn't get money from you. Your son was complaining that he shouldn't be punished because he was young and dumb, but if you ask me, now he's just old and dumb. O.P., you get 0 out of 5 buttles. I'm giving your son 1.5 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for not giving my son's mom makeup days after he fell out of a tree? My son asked and is in the 4th grade, and I share custody of him with my ex. We have a schedule where we basically get him one week each. There have been times where she screwed me over by taking extra days without giving me the same time back. For example, she took him to visit her family in another state and came back two days later because of flight issues. She said that because that wasn't her fault, she refused to compensate me with

extra days. Stuff like that. Ashton's school is connected to a park, and every Friday they play there. Well, he's nine and does stupid things and decided to see how far he could climb a tree. He got pretty high up and then fell. He had to get emergency surgery on his leg and got a bad concussion. He stayed at the hospital overnight and then had another surgery on Saturday and was released that day. My ex and I didn't discuss the custody issue. We were concerned with other matters. On Sunday, my ex said that she was going to pick Ashen up for the start of her week, and I reminded her that he can't be moved around like that. He's still loopy from the concussion and the medicine, and how is she supposed to get

a kid with a broken leg into her two-seat Porsche? Another issue is that he still can't wash himself, and there is no way that he's gonna let his mom do that. Just me. I told her that she can visit, but she needs to repair for him to stay. She was angry, but she knew that I had a point, and besides, Drs. Orders. Long story short, my son stayed with me six days extra because my ex couldn't get the time off work, whereas I work from home. Our other son, who's 19, agreed to help take care of Ashton because for some things,

you need a guy to help. Ashton can now use crutches and recovered from his concussion and he can go back to school on Monday. My ex said that she wanted to be compensated for this six days extra that she had Ashton by getting him two weeks in Siddah 1. I said nope. She said that was unfair. I reminded her of all those times when I lost days for things that weren't her fault and

she refused to compensate me. It's not my fault that Ashton fell out of a tree during my week and that she couldn't take a week off work to care for him. I told her I'm not going to be flexible with you when you're not going to be flexible with me. Alright, this story feels like an everyone sucks here situation because what's really interesting here is throughout this entire post, no one seemed to mention or be concerned about what your kid wants to do.

Does your kid want to spend extra time with his mom? Does he want to spend extra time with his dad? Does he want the time to be compensated? Because it seems like you and your ex-wife are just using your kid as a pawn to get back at each other. I can understand your frustration OP because it kind of feels like your ex-wife started it by stealing time from you and so you're like, okay, well, if you steal time, I'm gonna steal time too. But it's not about you, man. It's not about what your ex-wife wants, it's not about what you want, it's about what's best for your kid.

And if your poor kid is recovering from a surgery, can you two please just stop bickering and focus on him? I'm giving you and your ex-wife both two out of five buttocks. Am I the buttole for telling my sister-in-law that she should cancel the baby shower she was planning for me and that I would prefer not to have one since she doesn't respect my boundaries? My husband and I are expecting our first baby in a few months, and my sister-in-law offered it to throw us a baby shower.

I was really in love with the idea, and I accepted, and I got my mother-in-law involved. However, my sister-in-law disrespected the one clear boundary regarding the baby shower that I had, and she refuses to let it go, despite being told to do so not only by me, but my mother-in-law and husband as well. She insisted that my half-siblings should be invited, as well as finding my biological family from both sides and inviting them. This is absolutely not an option for me. I didn't invite them to my wedding, and I haven't spoken to them in several years.

But my sister-in-law is going extremely hard on the, but family arguments. So for background, I'm an affair baby. My father cheated on his wife, and I was the result. His wife kicked him to the curb, and he and my mother stayed together. When I was born, they didn't take care of me, and when I was three, I was removed from their care by child protective services. None of my biological family wanted me. My mother's family were supposedly good Christians who couldn't stand a thought of an illegitimate

affair baby, and my father's family were, quote, not in the position to take care of such a young child. My father's ex-wife ended up taking me in. I'm not sure why. The fact that she was paid to take care of me was possibly the reason. I do know that I was not loved. My half siblings ranged in age from 11 to 17 at the time, and they all hated me. It was made perfectly clear to me from a young age that I was never to call her mom, and

I was never to call them my brothers and sisters. My father's family were still in their lives and they knew how I was treated and they wouldn't even report it to my caseworker. I mentioned it once or twice to my caseworker but I guess she just dismissed the kids' words. My childhood was miserable. I was seen as a burden and someone who should have never been born. My half siblings continued visiting their mom as adults and they all just made it clear that they couldn't stand me and they were disgusted by my presence.

I just left when I turned 16 and nobody ever reported me missing or came looking for me. My sister-in-law knows my background and she knows that I would never want them in my life again. But she continues to push and I spoke to my mother-in-law and she tried to take over but my sister-in-law insisted that she had offered first. When my sister-in-law brought it up again, I told her to just cancel the shower and I would rather just have no shower than when thrown by her when she can't respect my boundaries. My mother-in-law stepped in and she's now hosting the party.

But my sister-in-law is now pissed because she spent a while planning and had paid for some stuff already. My mother-in-law said that she'd give the money back to my sister-in-law, but my sister-in-law said that I was in the wrong and I should appreciate her for winning to give back to your family. I told her that I had no family until I met them, and she needs to accept that my blood relatives don't want me and don't want them. I know she keeps telling my husband how wrong I was, and he keeps defending me, but I feel bad about the tension now.

Am I the butthole? Opie, I think the boundary you said here is very reasonable. And even if it was an unreasonable boundary, it doesn't really matter because, hey, that's your boundary. If your sister-in-law can't respect your boundary, then, hey, maybe she's not invited to the party either. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your biological and adopted family 4 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your sister-in-law 2 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your biological and adopted family 4.5 out of five buttholes. I'm giving your biological and adopted family 4.5 out of five buttholes.

Am I the butthole for telling my sister to stop saying that I have pretty privilege and it's her fault that she looks ugly? I have a 25 year old sister, Tessa. I'm just gonna be blunt and say that I look better than she does. This is due to her not taking care of herself at all. When I was staying active, she was not. I spend my money to get skincare and keep my hair looking nice. She doesn't, and she doesn't dress nicely either.

She's always in sweats, even when we go somewhere nice. Overall, I just look better than she does. She has the money to do all these things, she just doesn't. Now every time I see her, she'll comment something about the way that I look. If I ever tell a story that turns out good for me, she'll tell me that it's because I'm pretty and so on. I assume it's because she's jealous and I've talked to her about it. Now I recently passed my test to get a license for my job.

I was telling the story at dinner and she told me that I passed because I was pretty, which makes no sense. I had enough and I told her to stop saying that I have pretty privilege, and it's her fault that she looks ugly, not mine. She left the table after calling me a grunge and my family is split. All right, Opie, your sister is unattractive, not necessarily because of the way she looks, but because she has an insufferable personality. Every single time you guys meet up, she has to make a dig at you. And you pass an intelligence based test, and she says it's because you're pretty, look, that's just stupid. Guys, you know what the square root of 25 is? It's five.

You know why I know that? Because I got rock hard abs. Because I'm just so handsome, and because of my good looks, I can do math. But it's just so dumb, it doesn't make any sense. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your stupid sister 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.