rSlash - r/AITA for Stealing a Man's Potatoes?

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month. 0:00 Intro 0:05 School lunch 2:26 Top comment 2:29 Use her name 5:04 Comment 6:37 Lower standards 9:21 Disappointment 12:36 Potatoes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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See you after details. Welcome to R-Slash. Am I the butthole where O-Pican Fronts are racist Karen? Am I the butthole for telling one of my daughter's classmate's moms to f- off about what I put my daughter's lunch? For some context here. I'm a 38-year-old woman who cooks Asian foods regularly for dinner and for my daughter, Lily, to have it school lunch. This is because my family enjoys these foods, I like to cook these foods, and my mom cooked a bunch of these foods growing up since she's half Japanese. Often times, I'll either give my daughter some leftovers from last night's dinner, plus

fruits, vegetables, and a snack, or I'll make her a quick little bento box or some other thing that's really quick. So after school one day, my daughter wanted to play on the playground for a bit before we went home. I said that she could play for a few minutes and she ran off to play. I was waiting next to this other parent, Deborah. While I was waiting, Deborah came up to me. Are you Lily's mother?

Oh, yeah, I am. Why? Well, your daughter's lunches have been bothering my son, and I would like to ask you to pack something else. What? How are they bothering him? She then started talking about how her son was complaining that my daughter's lunches smell terrible, and that he thought that it was disgusting. She also said that her son didn't eat most of his lunches because he was so gross out. I said, okay, I understand your

son doesn't like the smell, but can't he just sit somewhere else? Are you kidding me? My son shouldn't have to put up with whatever garbage you make your daughter bring to this school. It's disgusting. At this point, she started making vaguely racist complaints, but I was fed up at this point. I said, listen, I understand your son might not like my daughter's food, but he can very easily just not sit next to her. I'm not changing what's in my daughter's lunches because you and your kid don't want to exist in your Asian food? F off!

She angrily stomped off with her kid, then my daughter finished playing soon after so we went home. I talked to my husband about it, and he said that maybe I shouldn't have told her to f-off to avoid her bothering us in the future. Am I the butthole? Y'know, this woman is basically insulting your daughter's heritage. This food is part of your daughter's culture, and this lady has the odd dassy to tell her that she can't eat it. I agree with you OP, she can, indeed, go f herself. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving her 1 out of 5 buttholes.

I like this top comment from Farton Scorsese. F off was the nicest thing you could have said to her. Am I the butthole for not backing down on my daughter's teacher calling her the proper name? My 14 year old daughter, Alexandra, hates any shortened version of her name. This has gone on since she was about 10. The family respects her, and she's pretty good about advocating for herself whenever someone calls her Lexi, Alex, etc. She also hates when people get her name wrong, and just wants to be called Alexandra.

She took Spanish in middle school. The teacher wanted to call all students by the Spanish version of their name, provided there was one. So, she tried to call Alexandra Alejandra. Alexandra corrected her and the teacher respected it. She had the same teacher all three years of middle school, so it wasn't an issue. Now she's in high school and she's still taking Spanish. Once again, the new teacher announced that if a student had a Spanish version of their name,

she'd call them that. So the teacher called Alexandra Alejandra. Alexandra corrected her, but the teacher ignored her. My daughter came home upset after the second week. I'm not the type of mom to write emails, but I felt that I had to in this case. If it matters, this teacher is not his spaniac herself, so there isn't a pronunciation issue. Her argument is that if these kids ever went to a Spanish-speaking country, they'd all be called that name.

I found this excuse a little weak, because the middle school Spanish teacher was actually Hispanic, and came from a Spanish-speaking country, and she respected Alexandra's wishes. The teacher tried to dig her heels in, but I said that if it wasn't that big of a deal in her eyes that she calls her Alejandra, then why is it such a big deal to just call her Alexandra instead? Eventually she gave in. Alexandra confirmed that her teacher is calling her by the proper name. My husband feels that I blew this out of proportion, and Alexandra could have sucked it up for a year.

Am I the butthole? Okay, the comments on this one are a bit mixed, leaning mostly towards not the butthole. The not the butthole crowd are saying that OPs should have her daughters back, and it's perfectly reasonable for Alexander to want to be called by a real name. The you are the butthole crowd are saying that this is a perfectly normal practice in Spanish class, so everyone's overreacting. I'm going with the not the butthole crowd, because when it boils down to it, if someone doesn't want to change their name, then they don't have to.

Yeah, I get that that's the common practice in Spanish class, but the reason is that it's a fun, exciting exercise because people are curious about what their name would be in another language. It's exciting for kids. They get to feel more immersed, but if it's having the opposite effect of making a kid angry about the language, then it's counterproductive. And people are getting upset at the daughter, this guy random word says, why is this a big deal? It really shouldn't be. My name doesn't translate to Spanish,

so my teacher gave me a different name. This is absurd to be so upset about this. You both sound childish. You both sound childish? Well, funny coincidence, she is a child! 14 years old is exactly that age where you're trying to discover who you are and building your identity, so I think it's perfectly reasonable for a 14 year old girl to get upset about people calling her the wrong name. Also, the thing that really surprises me down in the comments, I haven't seen anyone mention this. I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling. How is no one mentioning that her name is Alexandra, and the shortening of Alexandra is Alexa. I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling. How is no one mentioning that her name is Alexandra? And the shortening of Alexandra is Alexa. I'm gonna try to not use that name

because I don't want to trigger your guys' devices if you're listening on a speaker. But my guess is that teasing and bullying for someone who has that name is pretty brutal in school. I don't know personally because those devices came out after I left school. But I have to imagine this girl has endured years and years of, hey, Alexandra, what time is it?

Hey, Alexandra, tell me a joke. Hey, Alexandra, make a farting sound. Hey, Alexandra, what's the weather like? Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I think it's perfectly reasonable and understandable for her to get triggered about this, because hey, call me my name, that's not my name, call me my real name. And she's probably being extra defensive.

I think because she's been bullied about it so she wants people to call her real name so it doesn't snowball into, hey, Alexa, what time is it? Okay, I'm giving you and your daughter zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the teacher one out of five buttholes. This is just not a fight worth fighting. Am I the butthole for suggesting my wife lower her standards social be less overwhelmed? So my wife and I have three kids, ages 12, 10, and 8. She's in a constant state of being overwhelmed and is very easily irritated, constantly complaining about how it's all too much. I have of course some happy to help and do my fair share for the kids or the household,

but it's never enough because our standards are 2-day-am high. She insists that one of us has to be up at 6.45 every morning to make sure the kids are ready to make the bus which comes at 7.45. I told her they're old enough to not need that much help already. They can all dress themselves and pour themselves cereal and milk. There's no reason that we have to be up. She says that cereal isn't a good enough breakfast. They need something more substantial, especially the 12 year old, and that the 10 year old has ADHD and will definitely struggle without help in the morning. And anyways, she wants to see them off and kiss them goodbye for the day.

So she gets up, I don't. Then she gets upset that I never give her a morning off when all she needs to do is just take the morning off when she wants and let the kids handle themselves. Also she's super strict about screen time during the week and is exhausted and snappy from arguing about it with the kids and upset that I don't support her strict limit of two hours a day. I say as long as homework is done, why not let them use screen time until bed? She says that it's not healthy for them, that they need to play outside or play with games and toys

or read some books, just entertain themselves in more ways than screen time. I agree that they should enjoy other things, but I don't understand the need for such a rigid limit. She likes to go out on the weekends of things like zoos and museums, but then she complains about having to plan for these outings and how grouchy the youngest

gets by the end of it. And again, I say, let's just chill at home and voila, you've cut down the work. I'm an engage in active parent. I'm not trying to get out of it, but I don't think that I should have to help my wife dig herself out of her own created holes. She creates the stress for herself and then turns to me to alleviate it, which I think is unfair. Am I the butthole for telling her she needs to do less and then she won't need this level of help? Opie, you said that you're an engage in active

parent. Are you sure? Because in my book, your wife is an engage in active parent. So, if you're not meeting her standards and that makes you you what? Unengage an inactive, I suppose? Also, it's really funny to me that Opie says his wife should lower her standards when clearly she already lowered her standards when she married you. Opie, I'm giving you three out of five buttholes for being a lazy father and a lazy husband. I'm giving your wife zero out of five buttholes. Clearly, she's exhausted because she's the only parent in this relationship. Am I the butthole for telling my daughter that she's a disappointment? I have two daughters, ages 23 and 20. They're both so beautiful and smart, and I really love them both.

I always wanted them to be strong, independent women who could stand on their own feet, and I tried to raise them that way. They were both interested in volleyball. I always supported their interest. My younger is still playing in a team and also studying at a good university. She's really hardworking and even if she doesn't succeed in playing professional volleyball, she will definitely have a good job. My older daughter quit both sports and school when she got pregnant at the age of 18. When she first told us that she was pregnant, I was very upset and advised her to have an abortion because having a child at such a young age would disrupt her life.

She didn't want to have an abortion and my wife supported her decision. To be honest, I was very insistent on her having an abortion at that time, but when I saw that she remained determined, I dropped the issue and supported her fully, even though I didn't want to. She got married quickly with the baby's father. Then she decided to stay at home and take care of her child and her husband started to work. I never wanted my daughter to be financially dependent on her husband, but I never voiced it either. But, of course, my daughter knows that I'm bothered by this. Yesterday, we were having dinner with my daughters and my wife.

My wife and younger daughter started talking about being a mother. My wife told her that even though I wanted her to have an abortion, I love my grandson very much now. My daughter asked me if that was true, and I said, of course I love him. I really do love my grandson, but my daughter knew that I was bothered by her situation, so it didn't sound sincere at all. My daughter said that I could give an honest answer. I told her that I really love my grandson, but that I was disappointed that she had become a mother at an early age, had left school in her job, and was now dependent on a man. She didn't argue with me, but the rest of the night was a bit tense.

At the end of the night, my daughter went home, and my wife started a fight over what I said. I told her that she's the one who wanted an honest answer, but my wife is sure that I'm a butthole. My younger daughter agrees with me, but says that it was rude to say it out loud. Opie, it's perfectly normal and reasonable for a parent to have dreams about what their kid's life is going to be. Dreaming about what their life is going to be is one thing, but enforcing your dreams on them is something else entirely.

What you're basically saying here, OP, is that since your daughter didn't live the life that you want her to live, that she's a disappointment. But why is she a disappointment? There's nothing wrong with getting married and having a kid young. Yeah, it does hinder your career and 18 is very young to have a baby, but lots of people do it and are perfectly happy. I do understand that she asked you for an honest answer and you gave an honest answer so I can't go too hard on you because she was literally asking for it, but at the same time, if you want to be involved in your daughter and your grandson's life, you have to just let go that she didn't make the choices you wanted her to make. So OP, I'm giving you 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving everyone else 0 out of 5 buttholes. Also OP posted in an update that apparently his daughter and her husband are having a bit of marital troubles. Am I the butthole for taking potatoes off a guy's plate at a wedding?

I just got back from a friend's wedding in Mexico. It was at a fancy, all-inclusive resort. Everyone mostly did their own thing, with only a few group events planned, other than the wedding and reception, obviously. One of the group activities was dinner out at one of the restaurants that required a reservation. It was beautiful, and the service was fantastic. One hiccup. The best man did not want potatoes. He's not allergic to potatoes. Potatoes didn't take out his parents in a dark alley and he hasn't sworn to avenge them. As far

as I know anyways. I speak Spanish and after he asked me to talk to the waiter, I asked the waiter to please not serve them potatoes. Well, you know where this is going. He was maliciously served potatoes, and he would just not shut up about it. He pointed out to everyone at our table that he had been served a starchy tuber against his will. Other tables were watching him and listening to him getting upset about the potatoes. He ate the rest of his meal, but he would not drop the potatoes. I couldn't take it anymore! I reached over, grabbed the potatoes with my hand, and put them on my plate. Then I ate them.

He just sat there, stunned. Then he got up and went to his suites. He avoided me the rest of the time there, but he made sure to tell everyone what a butthole I was and how unlady-like my behavior was. I just wanted him to shut the f up about the potatoes. My friends want me to apologize for causing drama. What's so funny about this to me is, okay, he says it's very unlady-like of you to grab the potatoes, which fair, I mean he is correct that is unladylike. But he's the best man, how manly is it to sit there?

They gave me potatoes when I didn't want potatoes, I specifically asked them in Spanish, no El Potatos and they gave me El Potatos anyways. Like come on man. Yeah, OP was being unladylike, but this guy was being so unmasculine. Just a big, whiny, pathetic baby. What's the big deal? Just don't eat the potatoes. So I hate to say this, guys, don't get upset at me.

But I do actually think you are kind of a butthole here, like this is an everyone's suck situation, but you're a justified butthole. Don't, you know, don't swarm me in the comments. Sometimes being a butthole is justified, it's warranted, it's even required, it's necessary. This is one of those situations where I do have to agree you were being rude, but he deserved it. You should have been rude.

So I'm giving him one out of five buttholes or being a whiny little baby pants, and I'm giving him one out of five but holes or being a whiny little baby pants, and I'm giving you one out of five but holes with a negative one out of five but holes score tacked onto that, which brings you to zero out of five but holes because you deserve the extra leniency due to time served. You had to listen to this guy, Belieg, about the potato, so we have to factor in your pain and suffering with the final verdict.

That was our slash of my the but hole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast about the potato, so we have to factor in your pain and suffering with the final verdict. That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.