rSlash - r/AITA My Family Wants My Vacation Home

Episode Date: March 3, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:05 Paying 2:12 Moving out 6:35 Banned 8:54 Child support 12:09 Off limits Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP sister steals her inheritance? Am I the butthole for telling my daughter that if she pays for her sister's college then I'll stop favoring her with my money? My mother had a fund that was supposed to be for both of her grandchildren. She told me multiple times that it was for both of my kids. She also told my daughters that they have this money. My mother passed away unexpectedly. My older daughter, Shelly, was the only person who had her name on the fund, so legally it's hers. Shelly did not share this money with her sister, Grace, so Shelly has a huge head start in life with it. Due to this money, Shelly's been able to go to college debt-free and is going to buy a house soon.
Starting point is 00:00:45 My husband and I have been scrambling to give as much money as possible to Grace since she really got screwed over. Even with all of our help, Grace still needs to take out student loans. Grace is working while in college and she found a student job that gives free housing. The issue is that she needs a car for it. So my husband and I are going to buy her a car because turning down this job will result in a ton of extra debt for her. Shelly found out about us getting the car and she's pissed. She's upset with us favoring Grace and that she never got a
Starting point is 00:01:16 car from us. I pointed out that she doesn't need financial help at all. We argued for a while and I had enough. I told Shelly that if she pays for her sister's college, then I'll stop favoring her sister with my money. She called me a jerk and now she isn't responding. Also, if it's relevant, OP clarified that the sisters are full sisters, not half sisters or step sisters. In my opinion, Shelly is legally in the right, but morally in the wrong. Basically, she sold off her relationship with her sister.
Starting point is 00:01:46 However much money she got, if you divide that in half she was like, yeah I'll completely tank my relationship with my sister for that much money. Sounds like a good deal to me. Based solely on this story, it sounds like your daughter is legitimately a bad person, OP. OP, you and Grace get an easy zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Grace at minimum three out of five buttholes But if we're talking like millions and millions of dollars then it goes up to four maybe even five out of five buttholes
Starting point is 00:02:11 Am I the butthole for moving out instead of sharing my living space? Which is causing a problem for my mom and her boyfriend I'm a 16 year old girl and my dad passed away when I was like three We lived in a house that my paternal grandparents owned, and they agreed to let my mom and I live there rent-free. Over the years, my mom dated people, and whenever she had guests over to the house, I would spend that night at my grandparents' house. When I was 10, my grandfather renovated the basement of that house to make it kind of
Starting point is 00:02:42 like an apartment for me. I have my own bathroom, kitchen, and living room to go with my bedroom. My mom met a guy last year and it got serious. He moved in with his two kids, which is fine by me. My mom deserves to be happy and have someone in her life. There are three bedrooms upstairs, so it's perfect. One for them and one for each of his kids. Everything was going according to plan, until the guys kids asked where I was staying.
Starting point is 00:03:07 I said that I lived in the basement. They made a joke about me living in my mom's basement. I invited them down to play Mario Kart to be sociable and to show off that I'm being completely honest. I have a couch that my uncle gave me and my dad's old lazy boy in the living room. The recliner is only for me and all of my friends know that. My step-siblings started complaining that it wasn't fair that I got this room all to myself.
Starting point is 00:03:30 One of them tried to sit in my chair, even though I told her that it's only for me. I settled that immediately. It's my chair. After a few races where I demolished them, I said that it was time for them to go back upstairs. They said no. I called for them to go back upstairs. They said no. I called my mom to come get them. Over the course of the next week, my mom started hinting that maybe my living room
Starting point is 00:03:52 should be a common area. I said no. She started insisting. I said no. She has a key to the basement. I never locked my door unless she had guests. I did start locking it when Dan and his kids moved in. I came home from school and found the kids in my living room. They had also gone into my bedroom
Starting point is 00:04:12 and they were eating my snacks that I paid for myself. I yelled and told them to get the hell out. I called for my mom to explain why they were there. She said that she decided that it wasn't fair that I got almost a third of the house to myself and that my TV and gaming system should be shared. I said F that. She got really upset with me and said that it was a done deal so deal with it. My grandfather and my uncles came and got me. They also moved out all the items that mattered to me including my recliner. My grandfather told my mom that she needs to start paying rent if I wasn't going to be living there. I have my own bedroom at my grandparents' house, but I miss having my own area. My mom is
Starting point is 00:04:54 trying to get me to move back in so they can save up money to get their own place. Yeah right, I'm not that dumb. She said that I need to stop behaving like a brat and behave like an adult. I said that I was living like an adult until you let those kids into my area without permission. She tried to say that she could do whatever she wanted in her house. Sometimes I think she forgets that it wasn't my dad's house and that she didn't inherit it. I feel a little guilty about this because my mom is actually pretty cool and I hate that this is causing strain on our relationship. Am I the butthole? Okay, OP, we gotta make an adjustment here. You said, my mom is pretty cool. No, no, she was pretty cool, but now she's effing around
Starting point is 00:05:37 and finding out. Honestly, your mom has gotten a ton of grace. I'm shocked, frankly, that your grandparents didn't start charging your mom rent the second her new boy moved in. Honestly, OP, I'm proud of you. I feel like most 16-year-olds wouldn't have this much of a spine. To be honest, if I were in your shoes, I think I probably would have folded because I was a bit of a pushover when I was 16. Now, I think that would have been the wrong choice. I think you made the right choice here. I'm just saying I'm proud of you because you got guts, OP. You got a spine at the age of 16, which is impressive. OP, I'm that would have been the wrong choice. I think you made the right choice here. I'm just saying I'm proud of you because you got guts, OP. You got a spine at the age of 16, which is impressive.
Starting point is 00:06:08 OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mom 2.5 out of five buttholes for being a bad mom. And man, I'm giving your grandparents and your uncle zero out of five buttholes. You have an amazing paternal family here. To be honest, I'm starting to get a sense for why your grandparents never put the house in their son's name, specifically to avoid your mom inheriting their house. Smart move, grandpa and grandma. Am I the butthole for getting my neighbor and a client banned by all the local babysitters
Starting point is 00:06:39 after they went back on a deal? I'm a 17-year-old girl, and over the holidays, I got a 17 year old girl and over the holidays I got a chance to go to the Caribbean with my neighbors as their nanny. My parents weren't thrilled, but it was after Christmas so they let me go. The deal was pretty simple. It was 10 days at an all-inclusive resort. I would share a room with the kids and take care of them for 7 days and nights. In return, I got $500 and 3 days to myself.
Starting point is 00:07:03 The rooms were adjoining. My parents insisted that I get everything in writing so there were no mistakes. Basically, we agreed that I'd work two days, then take a day off, then work two days, then take a day off, etc. On my third day off, I'd plan to go scuba diving. I got up early and went on my excursion. When I got back, the parents were mad that I left without warning. I reminded them that we had a deal, and they said that they'd met another couple there and were going golfing, and that I screwed up their plans. I don't know why they made plans on one of my free days.
Starting point is 00:07:34 They were upset the entire way home. When we got back, they made a post on social media about how irresponsible I was. One of the other families I work for called me to get my side of the story. I sent them a picture of the deal that we agreed on. That other person said they knew that I wouldn't do what I was being accused of. They started commenting on the posts made by my neighbors. My parents also commented,
Starting point is 00:07:57 I think everyone thought they were just protecting me. So now it's a big deal and everyone knows that my clients tried to change our deal without talking to me. Some of the other babysitters or their parents are now saying that they won't babysit for my neighbors anymore. I feel bad about it because they paid a lot of money for my vacation. And if they had asked me, I probably would have switched my excursion to the last day.
Starting point is 00:08:20 Anyways, they're upset that I narked, but I didn't. OP, it's very rare that we come across an R slash am I the butthole story where the two parties sign a contract explicitly stating who's the butthole in the situation. Contract law makes this super easy, it's literally just what does the contract say? Who violated the contract? They violated the contract which means they're the buttholes! Easy peasy! OP, you get a rock solid, literally signed and verified zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your clients 1.5 out of five buttholes.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Am I the butthole for going after child support from my ex-wife and her husband? Even though I said that I wouldn't after they said they wanted input on how I raised my daughter? Me and my ex-wife, Sandy, got married young. Too young. I wasn't done with university, and she was fresh out of high school. We were pressured into getting married by our families. It's a religious thing. We didn't even live together until a year and a half later when I finished my degree.
Starting point is 00:09:19 I'm not in great shape, and I'm not particularly handsome. Although my mom says that I am. I also spent a lot of time at work the first three years of my career getting a running start. I'm ashamed to say that I pretty much neglected Sandy during this time. When we had our daughter, I reexamined my life and I made them a priority. Unfortunately, it was a little too late. Sandy left me. It hurt. It hurt me more when she moved on and left our daughter with me. She said that she was still young and that her family and I had taken years of her youth
Starting point is 00:09:53 away and that now it was her turn to enjoy it. I felt a lot of guilt over what she said. For the record, I didn't particularly want to be married either. I said that I didn't want to hold her back, so I wouldn't go for child support. We went to court and I got full custody. She got visitation, which she only very rarely uses, like four times last year. It's been five years now, and my daughter and I are doing fine. I have a great job now, and I'm able to work from home.
Starting point is 00:10:20 I take my daughter to school and pick her up. I've also withdrawn from the church that my parents attended. Recently, Sandy has been bugging me about parenting decisions. I told her that I would raise my daughter as I saw fit. She said that she was her mother and she deserves to have a say. Her husband chimed in that I wasn't doing her proper job of parenting and that they were considering going back to court for custody. As soon as he mentioned lawyers, I hung up and called mine. My lawyer is a bulldog. She immediately
Starting point is 00:10:53 filed for child support, including back child support for the last five years. I've been hearing from everyone that I'm being cruel going after her for her money. Full disclosure, I make close to five times their combined income I don't need their money But if I can use the law to get her to leave us alone, I will man what a terrible mother She literally wants to just pick and choose when she gets to be a mom She wants all the fun parts, but none of the sucky parts Sorry lady
Starting point is 00:11:22 It just doesn't work that way and if you don't to get married, if you want to divorce OP because he neglected you, okay, that's very understandable actually. Even OP admitted that he didn't go far enough to support her. But why do you have to turn your back on your own daughter and essentially abandon her for five years? How can people do that? So OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your ex-wife 4 out
Starting point is 00:11:45 of 5 buttholes for being a bad person, a hypocrite, and a bad mother. Also, to be perfectly clear, you have every right to go for child support. Just because you say you're not going to go for child support now doesn't mean that you're locked into that decision for life. You can do that at any point, for no reason or any reason you come up with. You are literally entitled to child support. You have a right to it. Am I the butthole for telling all my friends and family why my vacation home is off limits now unless they rent it?
Starting point is 00:12:15 I rent out my house through a service that includes insurance when it's in use. The insurance doesn't cover when I lend my house out to friends and families since they're not paying. I have regular homeowners insurance for that. My brother was using my house with his family just after New Year's. It was a slow period and I wasn't going to lose out on too much income. My nephew stayed up late one night and didn't go out for breakfast with his family, so he decided to make himself some food.
Starting point is 00:12:40 He started a kitchen fire. Then he freaked out and called 911 instead of using the fire extinguisher in the kitchen. He's 14, so I can't blame him too much. The smoke damage will cost about $8,700 to fix. I told my brother that he could take his time paying me back, and my brother said that he wasn't going to pay for an innocent mistake. I needed to get my house in order, so I just fixed everything out of pocket. I didn't go through insurance since I didn't want my rates going up.
Starting point is 00:13:10 I was obviously upset, so I posted about the fire and how pissed I was at my brother. Pretty much all my friends and family took the side of the innocent angel. They said that it was unfair for me to expect that much money from him and that he could have rented a hotel for one fourth that price. So I agreed. I said that from now on, my house is off limits unless they rented it out or I was there or they came as my guests. Now the howling started and I'm being unfair to them for something that wasn't their fault.
Starting point is 00:13:42 I offered to take up a collection from them to cover the repairs or the increased insurance premiums and most of them shut up. I directed all their complaints to my brother. He got quite angry at me for blaming him for this situation. I said that I wasn't about to send a mob after my nephew. I bought this house after I got a settlement from a work site accident. I used the income it generates to supplement the difference in what I used to earn at my old job and what I do now.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Man, I cannot believe the audacity of these people to get mad at you saying, oh, why do we have to suffer for something that isn't your fault when that's literally the situation that you're in. You're suffering, you're out of pocket, $8,700 because of something that's not your fault. It's the nephew's fault, which is ultimately the parent's fault.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Man, people are such hypocrites. This subreddit makes me so angry sometimes. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Everyone else gets two out of five buttholes. That was R slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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