rSlash - r/AITA My Parents Want Me to Give Them $350,000

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:25 College fund 4:33 Intervention 8:55 Lottery winner 12:38 Not gonna do it 14:49 Roomba in the pool Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP's parents expect OP to give $350,000 to his 5 year old sister. Am I the butthole for refusing to hand over my college fund for my little sister's surgery? I'm a 17 year old guy and the oldest kid in my family. My parents have two biological kids, me and my 12 year old sister. They adopted my four other siblings. I've had dozens of foster siblings over the years as well. My parents have struggled to make time and have money for all of us. It has been a lot of sacrifice, mostly on my part. My parents were able to make sure that all my younger siblings had at least one activity outside of school to do, but they never did that for me. I was

forced to play football when I was five, but by the time that I was seven, my parents started fostering and I was no longer able to do that. My siblings all got to do something that they like. For example, Cora does dance. Some of my other siblings are in music classes. The younger kids were also prioritized with school field trips. So ever since I was six, they always got to go while I didn't. The last time I asked was when I was about 9, and my parents told me to work for the

money to pay. At 9? What? My grandparents found out what my parents said and gave me the money, and my parents took it off me to use for the household. My grandparents were so mad at them for that. My parents delayed my tonsil surgery by two years because my parents prioritized two foster kids and two of my sibling surgeries over mine. My grandparents saw how much I was getting the

short end of everything with my parents and they set up a college fund for me. It's a lot of money and it really caught me off guard. My parents know about it, but they can't access it. The only reason my parents know about it is because my grandparents got into a fight with my parents because my parents put aside money for my siblings future, but not my future. My parents said that the money my grandparents saved should be divided equally because $350,000 is a lot to save for one grandkids when they have multiple grandkids. That money is still there. But that $350,000 is all mine and I have plans for it. But now, my younger sister is 5 and she needs a pretty major stomach surgery.

She's had a lot of health troubles since her birth and my parents have paid a lot of money on her medical expenses. They were told this surgery could turn her life around and give her a chance at living with less pain and stomach complications. It could give her a more normal childhood because she can't do a lot. My parents don't have the money for the surgery and they want me to give them the money to pay for it and for the expenses afterward. They said they need $270,000 for the whole thing. And then maybe they can give some of it back, but they might need even more if stuff gets complicated. I told them they can't have the money and they lost it and told me that I

was being selfish. And I argued back that they take stuff from me all the time. I asked them why don't they take the money they saved for my other siblings and use that? Why does it have to be my money? They said that I'm putting my college before my sister's future and accused me of being unwilling because she's my sister through adoption and not my biological sister. Am I the butthole? Okay OP, to be super clear, your sister is your parents responsibility, not your responsibility. And if you do decide that you want to help your sister, do not give the money to your parents because you can't even be certain that it will go towards your sister. Just pay the hospital directly, that's the only way that you can be certain.

But even then, if you want to keep all the money for yourself, I think that you're completely justified. Also, I'll be straight with you, I'm not really sure that I buy that your parents need 270k for surgery. That is a ludicrous amount of money. Do your parents not have health insurance? Are they paying the entire cost out of pocket? It kind of feels like this is a lie that your parents came up with to extract that 350k from you OP. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your parents at minimum 2.5 out of 5 buttholes for basically neglecting you, but they might deserve a lot more depending

on what their exact motivation is and if they're lying, but it's really hard to tell. Am I the butthole for kicking my brother and his family out after he tried to give me a whore of vengeance. That's a weird word, so I'm gonna resay it just so you understand whore of vengeance as in an intervention for being a whore. I'm having a hard time feeling remorseful and I'm unwilling to apologize for calling my brother out and for asking him to vacate my property.

I've given him many chances to stop this behavior and my brother won't stop shaming me for having been a stripper before I got my prestigious job. These are literally his words. By the way, I'm a nurse anesthetist. He's been making offhand remarks about me having been a stripper

since he found out six years ago. He gets on these long tirades about how I'm ungodly, unholy, and that the sins I committed can never be forgiven unless I repent and let Christ into my heart. I am not religious. I'm certainly not a Christian, and I will never be one. But my brother refuses to accept this. Also, I only started stripping because of his drug and gambling addictions, which ruined mine and our parents' lives. He remortgaged their house, took out loans and several credit cards in our parents' name,

and even sold our parents' identity to his former dealer. I didn't know how bad the situation was until I came home one day from university and found strangers living in our house. My father was too embarrassed to let me know that he and my mom were living out of their car. My parents also never reported my brother to the cops because my parents didn't want him back in prison. Last time he went to prison for two years. Me and my parents were blackmailed into paying his prison debt.

So when I found out that my parents, baby sister, and baby brother were living out of their car, I decided to work as a stripper. I made good money, and with that money, I was able to house my family, pay off my parents' debt, my brother's debt, and put my younger siblings through college and university. During that time, I also paid for his rehab, and he finally got his act together. He's happily married employed sober and he has a child on the way by the way I also paid for his wife's in vitro fertilization treatments last Sunday Our parents invited some people over for a big cater dinner My brother and his wife thought this would be the perfect time to turn it into what he called a whore of

I thought this would be the perfect time to turn it into what he called a whore of vention and embarrass me in front of all the guests. I completely lost it. I was so enraged that I spent most of the evening cussing him and my sister-in-law out. I reminded him that I would have never been a stripper if he hadn't tried to ruin us. On Monday, I drew up an eviction notice and sent it to him. I want to cut all ties with him and his family I am truly done with him. Almost everyone is telling me that I'm right in being angry But it's terrible to kick him and his wife out when they're due to have their first child in nine weeks

my parents are begging me to forgive him and Honestly, I feel like I have been and that I'm being reasonable giving them 90 days I am done being called the whore of Babylon and the downfall of mankind. Also OP clarifies in an edit that she stripped for about 5 years. Man, the audacity of these people! Unfortunately OP isn't sharing numbers, but between rehab IVF treatment plus giving him a place to live, plus just supporting him through the years it genuinely sounds like OP has given her brother over a hundred thousand dollars and then this guy's gonna turn around and bite the hand that

literally feeds him literally gives him the money to turn his life around also I have to wonder if OP's parents are either like super sexist and they favor the men in the family over the women or or maybe it's one of those like, the firstborn child is the most important child. Because how can they force their youngest kid, OP's little sister, to live out of a car, but then just give their house to the drug addict? Do OP's parents just literally not care at all

about OP's life or OP's little sister's life? In any event, OP, you are a million percent justified. I'm amazed that you were this generous with them. I would have lost patients long ago. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your brother 4.5 out of five buttholes and I'm also giving your parents 3.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for not telling my boyfriend that I won money 15 years ago? I'm a 35 year old woman and my boyfriend is 35. We were discussing finances because we wanted to be on the same page. My boyfriend moved in with me unexpectedly 3 months ago because his landlord decided

to move into the property with his family. We were discussing finances and the topic of how I owned my place came up. I explained that I won some money. Not a lot, but enough to be able to put me through nursing school, purchase my home, and have some savings. I won the money back in 2009, and I bought my place outright and then rented it out until I moved back into it in late 2018. Obviously, I had some luck on my side, because this was right in the middle of the recession, so I got my place for real cheap. He says that I deceived him by giving him the impression

that I was financially well off, and that I let him to believe that I was more business savvy than I was. I don't know how I did that because I literally work as a nurse and make decent money. I fully own my own home, fully own my own car, have decent retirement plans and decent savings. I'm fairly certain that I'm financially better off

than most people I know. He says that he can't trust me anymore and that he was stupid to have listened to my financial advice. But the thing is, I never gave him any financial advice except for telling him to not buy a car that was, in my opinion, unreliable and way too expensive. Did I deceive him by not telling him how I got myself financially stable?

For context, we've been dating for almost a year and a half. Okay, it kind of feels like this guy was just dating you for your money, and I guess he thought that you had family money, and when he realized that that's not the case, then he sees your ticket as like not being the ticket he thought that you had family money and when he realized that's not the case, then he sees your ticket as like not being the ticket he thought it was, I guess? Oh here we go. OP said in an edit, I just had another very weird conversation with him and I honestly can't wrap my head around it.

Yeah, so he is definitely a gold digger. He asked me how much I have in savings and and he seemed impressed with how much, and then he said that maybe he reacted too aggressively. Then he told me that he still wants the car that I advised him not to get. He hinted at me getting it for him as a birthday present since his birthday is coming up soon. I am definitely dumping him. He's also jealous and resentful. He keeps ranting about how he would have tripled the money if he had won it. He said the money is wasted on me

because I don't make my money make money. Wait, didn't OP literally said that she bought a house and then rented it out for almost a decade? Huh? Apparently I should have been investing my savings in high yield stocks and other stuff. And then OP says in another edit, okay so I understand him better now. So the property that my house is on led him to believe that I was much richer than I actually am. He assumed that I was loaded. So me telling him that actually I got lucky pissed him off. Then when he found out how much I had in savings and assets he perked up and changed his mind.

He's now telling me that with just a quarter of my money, he can show me how to invest in the stock market and make real money. Oh, he is genuinely deluded. Yo, it's so funny that this dude thinks that OP is gonna take financial advice from someone whose primary financial strategy is, marry a rich woman.

Which he didn't even do successfully, by the way. Wait, hold on. Did he do it successfully? Because OP won the lottery is what it sounds like and she's also a nurse and nurses make like, geez, 100k, 150k. Yo, why is this dude complaining? OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your stupid ex boyfriend two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for not wanting to go back home and take care of my sick mom after her and her boyfriend kicked me out the day after my high school graduation last year?

The day after my graduation, my mom and her boyfriend told me that now that I was an adult, I had to move out and find a place of my own. Although it was unexpected, the relationship between my mom and I changed drastically when our new boyfriend moved in. I tried to make a good impression because I wanted my mom to be happy, but the guy just seemed to have an issue with me.

He convinced my mom to start charging me rent because I had a part-time job while still at school even though he was jobless and living off of my mom. He would go into my room, go through my stuff, and use my things without my permission. He even broke my laptop after using it, without asking, but my mom saw nothing wrong with this behavior and always took his side. She would yell at me whenever I complained about how I didn't like him invading my privacy. He seemed very pleased with himself when my mom kicked me out. I didn't have enough money to get a place of my own, so I survived by sleeping on friends'

couches as much as I could, until they got tired of me, and sometimes I had to sleep outside. Thankfully, I was able to get a second job through someone I knew, and I was able to save up, and I just moved into a new place at the beginning of this month after months of not having anywhere to call home. A few days ago, my mom's boyfriend reached out to me. Apparently, my mom had a stroke and he tried guilting me into moving back to help her out because he got a job opportunity and has to move. I declined and told him that, unfortunately, I'm too busy trying to be an adult. So it doesn't look like I can take time off my schedule to help and I hung up.

Oh my god, OP, your mom is facing the consequences of her own actions. Who would have thought that throwing your own child out onto the streets would mean she won't come running back home. OP, leave these terrible people in your rearview mirror. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mom and her boyfriend 3.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole because I laughed my butt off when my mom told me that her Roomba fell into the pool? I'm on the phone with my mom because she's at her winter residence in Florida.

And she was telling me that she was cleaning her house and she left the screen door open And I'm like where are you going with this because my mom kind of rambles a bit with stories that go nowhere and Then she says the room was missing and she found it at the bottom of the pool that Completely caught me off guard and I'm howling with laughter and my mom is like it's not funny that's a $400 machine and somehow that made it even funnier and she's not making it easy for me because she's describing that apparently apparently it didn't die right away and for a minute the little brush things were still going around like it was trying to dog paddle its way out of there. So my mom is angry that the Roomba wasn't built with some sort of safety device in case it falls into water. Like, floatation bags that are supposed to pop out of it like

chitty-chitty bang-bang or something. And at this point, I'm in literal tears from laughing so hard. So my mom is angry, the Roomba's dead, and I'm probably not invited to Easter dinner. Honestly, it's kind of a majestic way to go out. What culture was it that did those water burials where you put a corpse on the boat and send the boat out to sea? Was that the Vikings who did that? It's kind of a cool way to go to be honest. Also, I've got to make this joke. I've heard this many times on the internet, but it must be said, a Roomba cannot survive in the wild. Nature abhors a vacuum.

Anyways, OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. That's a genuinely funny story. I understand why your mom's frustrated, and honestly, if she wasn't being stung by the $400 law, she'd probably be laughing too. I guess I'll give your mom zero out of five buttholes as well because I can understand why she's frustrated. However, honestly, if she's gonna disinvite you be laughing too.