rSlash - r/AITA My Stalker Sister Stole My Life

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:06 Stolen life 3:14 Stay at home dad 8:49 Fake disability 11:21 Fired 13:12 Cut off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit SWISH.LA.ca for contest details, while supplies last. Welcome to R-Slash. Am I the butthole? Where O.P. Sister steals O. steals OP's identity. Will I be the butthole for telling my half-sister's new family that she kind of assumed my identity? I'm a 25 year old woman, and I have a half-sister who's 24 named Hannah. Hannah was never really in my life much growing up.

I would say that I've met her less than 10 times in my life. When she was 16, she started consistently reaching out to me on social media, but I was never interested. She stopped when we were about 20. Since then, I mostly forgot about her existence, until she reached out to me again at the start of this year saying she'd gotten engaged. She wanted me to come to her engagement party and help her get in contact with the rest of my dad's side of the family. I told her I wasn't interested, but I did ask the rest of the family.

My granddad, aunts, and cousins, if they wanted me to put them in touch with her, and they said no, so I told her that too. About a week later, I got a message on social media from her fiance, digging me out for how I treated her. He told me that he understood that it was tough being the product of an affair and he gets that I would be jealous of her since I was shunned by the family, but that she felt terrible about it and had always wanted a relationship with me. I was as confused as I was angry because he had the entire story backwards. I forwarded the messages to Hannah with a question mark and she admitted that her fiancé and his whole

family don't know that she is the affair baby. That they think that she stayed in contact with Dad's family, that she went to school and university, and basically lived the life that I did. I didn't blast her for telling lies. I just told her that if I ever heard from any of these people in her life again, I would tell them the truth. The months went by. A few days ago, I received more messages from the fiance and the fiancee sister, calling

me a heartless b-word for refusing Hannah's attempt to contact. The sister said that I needed to get over my jealousy of Hannah. The fiance called me a spiteful witch for emotionally blackmailing Hannah's dad and did not go to the wedding. It took everything in me not to reply. So now I'm contemplating whether or not I would be the butthole for messaging them back with the truth. It can't go on like this.

I told Hannah to handle her business and she didn't. Also, her lines are pretty creepy. She's marrying a guy who has no idea who she really is. Then again, it's not like she sent those people after me, so maybe I would be the butthole for tearing apart her whole life over something that isn't technically her fault. Opie, uh, are you sure it's not technically her fault?

Because she's the one lying, not you. And you did give her a chance to handle her business and she didn't. So if these people are harassing you and you say something her a chance to handle her business, and she didn't. So if these people are harassing you and you say something to get them off your back, I think that's perfectly justifiable. I will say OP, even though I think you're technically justified in revealing the truth and bombing her whole life, I think the better road would be to just block everyone. Just block them and if they message you, just say, if you keep contacting

me, I'm calling the cops and just block them. So do what you want OP, I think you're justified either way. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes and I'm giving Hannah two out of five buttholes for living a life of lies. Am I the butthole for telling my husband that if he wants someone to stay home with our baby, then he can do it?

I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant. I'm a 30 year old woman and my husband is 29. We met in college and we've been together for 8 years, married for 2. Our relationship has always been solid and progressive. My husband has never been much of a traditionalist, despite growing up in a very stereotypical family. He had two siblings in a stay at home mom while his dad worked. Up until recently, we've agreed on nearly everything in our marriage and how to raise kids. However, two days ago, we were talking about baby stuff, and my

husband started mentioning that he thought that maybe one of us should stay home with the baby for a while, and not go back to work after our maternity slash paternity leave is over. We both work in tech, make good money, and have great benefits. I get 20 weeks of leave after the baby is born, and he gets 12. We were trying to decide if we should stagger our leaves so someone could be home with the baby until 6 months in, which is the age where most places will start daycare. My husband said that he read somewhere that it's better for the baby to have a parent home for the first year. So, thinking nothing of it, I asked him if that was something he would really consider since he might have to quit his job. He asked why would I have to quit since obviously you're the one who would stay home with

the baby. I asked him if he was serious and he said yes, the mom should be the one to stay home. I said how are we going to make things work on just his income. For context, I make about three times what my husband does. It's never been an issue and never mattered to me. I just finished my master's degree earlier than he did. We both have degrees and I went into a more specialized field. We both make good money, but it's primarily my job that pays for the lifestyle we have.

So I asked him what we're supposed to do for a year, surviving on one fourth our normal income with a new baby. He got a little upset and said, you shouldn't even bring that up, and that he makes good enough money to provide for us, and you shouldn't question me. I got mad and said that it wasn't realistic, and it was silly for the person who made more money to quit their job, especially since he's the one who thinks that someone should be home with the baby full time. I'm fine with sending the baby to daycare starting at six months.

The fight blew up from there, me saying that he's being sexist and not considering my feelings at all. I refused to back down, and he ended up taking off after I said that he should be the stay-at-home parent if he once went so bad, and him saying that he didn't deserve to be a masculine just for suggesting that I should stay at home like a good mom. I talked to some of my family and his family one so bad. And him saying that he didn't deserve to be immasculated just for suggesting that I should stay at home like a good mom. I talked to some of my family and his family about it and the answers are kinda splits. So am I the butthole for bringing up the pay disparity and telling him that unless he's the one to stay at home, the baby's going to daycare, then OP posts an update. My husband has been acting weird and quiet since we fought, but this morning I finally sat

him down and was basically like, what's going on? This doesn't seem like you. Some of the comments here got me thinking about what his family might be pressuring him to do, so I asked about that and a ton of stuff came out. He said that he brought up the staggered leaves to some people in his family a dinner a couple of weeks ago. I wasn't there. And a few of them thought that someone should stay home longer. And his brother laughed and made some jokes about my husband being a housewife slash stay-at-home mom. His brother, who, by the way, is 35 and divorced, considers himself to be a man's man and has a lot of sexist views.

So he's made jokes before about me being the breadwinner. After hearing this, my husband snapped a bit because some of his co-workers and older brother have laid into him a bit about the fact that I make more money and I have a better job title, calling him a trophy husband and other dumb stuff like that. It made my husband feel insecure, so he lashed out a bit at me, and that's why we fought. He's admitted that he felt really bad about it, which is why he's kind of been avoiding me. We've now agreed to looking for a marriage counselor and a nanny service, and he's

admitted that he doesn't mind the idea of taking a few unpaid months to stay home. He's just really worried about his brother and his friend's jokes. Thank you to everyone for helping me feel more confident to confront this. We're doing much better. So, wow, I think I'm actually gonna give everyone here zero out of five buttholes because obviously OPs right here.

There's no real argument there. But, you know, I also think I'm gonna give the husband zero out of five buttholes because, you know, he made a mistake. We all make mistakes in a relationship. The thing about a mistake isn't that you make a mistake, it's what you do afterwards. Two questions. One, do you own up to what you did, and two, do you change your behavior so it doesn't happen again. And based on what we're seeing here,

the husband gave their correct answer to both of those questions, so he handled this perfectly. I mean, yeah, he shouldn't have fought in the first place, he shouldn't have been insecure and taken out on the wife, but he understood the issue, he talked to his wife about it, he resolved to be better, I think he just had a temporary moment of weakness and he overcame it. So, I'm gonna give the husband 0 out of 5 buttholes as well. I'm giving the sexist brother and the douchey friends 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Come on guys, it's 2023, it's not a big deal if a woman makes a lot of money. Also, Opie, if you're making 3 times the money your husband makes and this is an easy

decision for who stays home. And it's not really that the husband is lacking that he's less of a man because you said you both make good money, so if he's in tech, I'm guessing probably he makes about 100k and Opie makes about 300k, give or take. So the husband's hardly a loser, he's not a weak man, he just has an exceptional way way above average wife. Am I the butthole for using a fake test to expose my colorblind brother in front of friends and family? I'm a 17 year old girl. I have a 15 year old brother who claims that he's colorblind.

When he was younger, all of his paintings and drawings seem normal. This whole colorblind claim started when he turned 10, all because of a light pink t-shirt that he perceived as white. My parents joked about him being colorblind since my uncle also is. My brother continued this claim, constantly mentioning it to others, which has always annoyed me because I'm sure that he's lying. I've told my parents, but they brushed me off saying that I'm just jealous of the attention he gets. Last week was my birthday. I had a gathering at home with about 30 people on the weekend. The topic of his supposed color blindness came up again,

with everyone asking him to identify colors. I, feeling frustrated, asked him to take an Ishiara test on the TV. For those who don't know, an ishiara test is one of those color blindness tests where it's like a bunch of little dots in the dots are different colors and you see a letter or a number in there. He agreed after some hesitation. I went up to my room to grab my computer to plug to the TV, but instead of a genuine test, I used a fake ishiara test, one that anyone could pass. He pretended not to see some numbers, and once the test concluded, I revealed to everyone that it was a fake test,

aiming to show that he was lying. The mood turned sour. My brother and parents were furious. My family tried to brush it off, making jokes, and my friends found it amusing. Post-party, my parents were livid! They labeled me as an attention seeker and a jealous butthole and grounded me for embarrassing my brother. I feel like had he been honest, he wouldn't have been humiliated, so am I the butthole? This kind of feels like an everyone sucks here situation, giving everyone a slight butthole score.

First off, your brother shouldn't be faking disabilities to get attention, so I'm giving him one out of five buttholes. As for you, O.P., going out of your way to publicly embarrass your brother for no real reason than to just humble him as kind of a douchey move. If you're gonna confront him, why confront him so publicly at your birthday party? Why not just do it privately as a family? So for that, I'm giving you one out of five buttholes. Also, I'm giving the parents one out of five buttholes because it's very clear they're showing favoritism towards the brother.

How are they labeling you an attention seeker when your brother is literally faking a disability to get attention? So they get one out of five buttholes too. Am I the butthole for firing my brother after he proposed at my wedding? So a bit of background. I own a plumbing company and hired my brother three years ago. He was jobless after the pandemic and I offered for him to come work for me. He was 22 at the time and is now looking to become a master plumber and start his own business. At my wedding in which he was the best man, he decided that during his speech, he would

give us all a big surprise and decided to propose to his long-term girlfriend. Me and my wife were appalled! We both feel like he stole the shine from our day. Everyone else in our families were so excited and kept taking pictures with her, looking at the ring, etc. I decided to fire him the very next day. He still doesn't understand why. He claims that I'm being selfish and irrational and our parents agree. They're saying that business should be separate from our personal lives,

but I just can't overlook what he did and how he ruined our day. Am I overthinking this? Wait, hold on. So why is it that there's a division of our personal life shouldn't affect our professional life, but there isn't a separation of your proposal shouldn't interfere with my wedding. Down in the comments, there are a couple of people saying that what the brother did wasn't

a fireable offense and OPs shouldn't have done that because it is unprofessional. However, let's think about this strictly professionally. Let's suppose the brother is going to his boss's wedding and he has no relationship with the boss, you know, other than professional. In that case, if he proposed it as boss's wedding, you'd even more expect him to be fired. It's super common knowledge that the two things you never do at a wedding is wear white unless you're the bride and propose. Well proposed slash announced that you're pregnant, those two things are big no-nose

and weddings. So I'm on your side OP, while I do agree that it is unprofessional, sometimes being unprofessional is warranted. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your brother 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for cutting my pregnant sister off financially and telling her that having another baby would be irresponsible of her? I'm 22 and she's 25. My sister Mia has a son who's 7 months old, and the father is not in her baby's life at all. He basically dipped out the week after the baby was born.

I've been supporting both of them financially while my sister Mia gets back on her feed and looks for a job to pay the bills on her own. Fast forward to 2 days ago, she calls me excitedly telling me she has big news. Deep down in my heart, I already know what she was about to say, and my intuition was confirmed when she said that she was pregnant again. She went on and on about how she met a new guy that she hasn't told me about and how nice he treats her and the baby, that she really feels like he's the one and how she can't wait for the family that she was supposed to have.

I basically laid it out straight to her. She hasn't been dating this guy for very long, and yet she's already pregnant and wants to marry him simply because he treats her and her baby nicely. He isn't helping with the bills or providing in any way. This was not likely to last, and she was just going to end up being a single mom of two. Not to mention how dangerous it is to get pregnant this soon after giving birth. She told me I was being fake and that I wasn't acting like family, that I should support her like our mother is. Turns out, our mother is kissing her butt and only enforcing the rose-colored glasses Mia has on the situation.

Our mom is telling me a story of how her stepdad only knew her for two months before he married her and blah blah blah. I told her that I can't support her or any other children should she decide to go through with this. I essentially said, I'm not pressuring you into anything. This is your choice, but I refuse to be financing this choice. You're on your own Mia. I can't enable you digging

yourself further into holes that you can't climb yourself out of because of irresponsible, unplanned pregnancies, and I refuse to. Of course, she did not take that well. She started crying, saying how I just don't want her to be happy, how much of a B word I am, and hung up. Her mother isn't very happy with me now. I do feel bad. I don't think that I worded it the best, nor should I have called her irresponsible. I'm just at my breaking point. Am I the butthole? Well, fundamentally OP you are right.

This is her choice and she can make whatever choice she wants. But at the same time, you're also entitled to your own choices. I do agree that based on this story, it sounds like your sister is expecting you to just infinitely finance her bad decisions. Also, I kinda hate to say this because I don't have a ton of evidence to back it up, but it kinda sounds like her dating strategy is to just baby trap men.

Baby trapping the first guy didn't work, so now she's trying to baby trap the next guy, and then presumably the next guy, the next guy, and the next guy. It presumably the next guy and the next guy and the next guy It's so crazy to me that she calls you fake when this woman is Badly in need of a reality check you tried to give her one and then like everyone who's living in Dululu land She gets upset about it. So OP. I think the best thing you can do is just stick to your guns and start putting distance between your sister And probably your mom also. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes.

I'm giving your sister 2 out of 5 buttholes. Not because she got pregnant, I mean that's her choice, but because she's expecting you to just infinitely give you money just because she makes bad choices, which is super selfish. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. slash a My The Butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.