rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Refusing To Let My Neighbor Steal From Me?

Episode Date: March 6, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP has a new neighbor move in next to him. For some reason, this woman gets it in her head that OP's private property is actually public property. She sneaks into OP's backyard and steals vegetables from his garden. When OP catches her, does she feel shame and apologize? Of course not! She argues that she has a right to steal from him, because of course the world revolves around her. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Lego is a trademark of the Lego group. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash and My The Butthole, where OP catches his neighbor stealing from his property. Am I the butthole for refusing to let a woman take food from my greenhouse and pressing charges? I'm a 30-year-old guy and I live in a nice little neighborhood. Everyone knows everybody.

We all have our own space and many have flower gardens. I have a greenhouse in my backyard that's visible from the street and behind a four-foot-pick at fence. We got a new neighbor, and I haven't had the chance to meet them until today. I have a camera in my yard that notified me of movement near my greenhouse so I went and checked and that's when I found a lady and a young teen picking tomatoes and peppers in my greenhouse. I raised my voice and asked what an earth are doing and the woman says, it's fine, I am friends with the owner. I asked if she wants to run that by me again because I'm the owner and I don't know who the hell they are. When she realized she was caught, she tried to leave with a bag full of vegetables.

I told her she is not leaving with that food and she is two minutes to drop it and leave where I'm pressing charges. She starts crying that she's trying to feed her kid and needs it and that she can't afford this on her record, but I didn't feel like rewarding a theft and took the food from her and called the cops. She's telling everyone that I'm the butthole and a toxic man and though most are telling her that she's in the wrong, her friends on Facebook are telling me that I'm a butthole and should be ashamed. Am I the butthole? Also, when she was offered the chance to leave without police involvement, she screamed at me and broke a path that had some chives growing in

it. If she had asked first, by all means I would have given her a couple of peppers, tomatoes, or even some squash, but she didn't. OP, are you the butthole for pressing charges against someone who literally stole from you? NO! Also, I think her story is complete BS. If she has enough money to buy a new house, then she also has enough money to buy food for her kid. I'm giving OP 0 out of 5 buttholes

and I'm giving this woman 3.5 out of 5 buttholes for stealing from her neighbor and teaching her kid to steal. Am I the butthole for not telling my family which of my kids is biologically mine? I have two kids Clark and Kent. While they have the same father, only one of them is biologically my child. They were born within six months of each other. The boys are currently six, and for various reasons, I have full custody of both of them. I didn't speak to anyone in my family for several years, and we got back in touch in 2019. Due to the boys' ages, my family knows that I couldn't have carried both, unless I have the gestation period of a hamster. I've explained to them how all this came to be, but in my explanation,

I neglected to tell them which of these kids is my biological child. Due to my ex having a type, the other woman looked enough like me that the boys could pass for twins. They both have dark hair, blue eyes, pale skin, cleft chin, and dimples. My brother jokes, they both look like tiny supermen. People who know them refer to them as the twins because aside from a few minor differences, they're practically identical. Frankly, if they were closer in age and I had a full custody of both of them from the time they were born, I suspect I would have mixed them up a lot as babies. Shortly before Clark's birthday last year, my mom asked if she could see Clark's birth certificate. I asked why, and she said she wanted to know the exact time he was born so I told her. Then she asked if she could see the certificate anyway. I asked why, and she said she wanted to know the exact time he was born so I told her. Then she asked if she could see the certificate anyway. I asked why. She

said she just wanted to check. I said I'm his mother. I know when he was born. Then she asked the same thing about Ken and we went through the same conversation all over again. My mom eventually admitted that she just wanted to see the birth mother's name on each certificate, which isn't even how that works and I told her as much. This led to an argument where my stance is that I'm their mother, biology is irrelevant. My mom says that if biology is irrelevant then it's not a big deal to tell her which of them is biologically mine. I said that if she so hung up on biology then clearly it's a big deal to her and I don't want it to be a big deal.

Especially since the boys themselves don't know. My mom thinks this is incredibly selfish, narcissistic, and overall wrong. She feels that if biology isn't such a big issue, then I should have no problem telling her whether Clark or Ken is my biological son, and that accusing her of potential favoritism or something similar with her biological grandchild is an unfair judgment with no actual reasoning behind it. My boyfriend agrees that I shouldn't tell anyone, at least until my sons have decided for themselves if they want to know and want other people to know. But my entire family agrees with my mom that I'm being unreasonably selfish.

Am I the one in the wrong? No OP, not at all. Your family, your rules. It doesn't even make sense why they're getting so uptight about this. Like if it doesn't matter, why are they fighting so much? The answer clearly is that it does matter to them and they will show favoritism to the two kids. So yeah OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.

I'm giving your mother and her family 3 out of 5 buttholes. However, OP, I do want to warn you that this might be out of your hands. All your mother has to do is buy a DNA kit and send in her DNA plus a DNA of both the boys. Getting DNA samples from your two boys would be super easy, especially if she babysits the kids. Nowadays, DNA kits are super cheap and easy to use, so it would cost your mom like 50 bucks to find out which of your kids is biologically related to her. So yeah, Opie, while I definitely agree with you in this situation, don't be surprised if your mom figures it out behind your back.

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at participating restaurants in Canada. Am I the butthole for telling my girlfriend that her nannies were paid to raise her? I'm a 21-year-old guy and I have a girlfriend named Anna who's 21 who comes from a very rich family Well, I came from a middle-class family and while I did grow up with a lot of privileges None of them were on the same level as hers Anna grew up in a home where house staffannies, and bodyguards were commonplace. And while she's a very nice and down-to-earth person, she's always had a very sheltered reality.

For example, she's the kind of person who has a savings account, doesn't eat out every day, and regularly donate security. But she thinks that Apple products are perfect gifts for whenever she doesn't know what to get someone. A few days back we were talking about holidays and I asked her how she spent her mother's day since her mother died when she was a baby and her father never remarried. She just said that the only unusual thing she did on Mother's Day was that she visited her mom's grave in the morning with her father. I got confused by that and then I asked her how she spent the rest of the day. She mentioned that, growing up, she would make cards and give them to the nannies and they would spend the day playing and eating sweets that she asked her father to order.

I just kinda lacked at that point and she asked me what I was laughing about, then I told her, you know the nannies were just doing their jobs, right? She got annoyed and told me that she knew that, but they raised her and loved her so the least she could do was give them their due. And this is where I think I might be the butthole. After she told me that I joked, yeah I bet the fat paychecks certainly helped them love you. Because when I said that, she got quiet, grabbed her things, and left.

Since then she's been cold towards me and told me she's been rethinking our relationship but I really think she's overreacting. What do you guys think? Am I the butthole? Ouch, O.P. That is cold. You're getting like a solid 4 out of 5 buttholes on this one. O.P.

What you're basically saying is that just because someone's paid to care for a child, it is therefore impossible for that person to form a genuine loving connection with that child. You're also saying that nanny shouldn't get mother-stay cards because they're paid to be there, and therefore don't deserve that respect. OP, you really need to understand how cold, callous, and just ignorant these statements are. Not every single family out there is mother Plus Father Plus Biological Offspring. You have to leave room for genuine love to build from stepmothers, foster mothers, nannies, and all other forms of caregivers. I mean hell, even teachers can grow to love their students and teachers spend way less time

with kids than nannies do. If a teacher came to genuinely care for a student, would you say that teacher was just being paid to do it? I really hate to be this harsh to someone who I don't think was trying to be malicious on purpose, but really OP, that comment was nasty. Am I the butthole for laughing at my mom after she and my dad insisted I tell my friends, boyfriend, to leave MY house? I'm a 20 year old woman who moved out on my 18th birthday and never looks back.

I mostly moved out due to how strict my parents were. When I say strict, I don't mean something like home by 10pm. I mean, I wasn't allowed to have friends older than me even by a few months and I wasn't allowed to any guy friends. If I had a project to work on at school and got partnered with a guy, my mom would tell my teachers to make me do it alone. I was only allowed to be on my phone if my mom or dad was there to monitor what I was doing. On weekdays, my bedtime was 9pm, and on weekends, my bedtime was 9.30pm.

I could only have sleepovers if it was at my house, and all my friends had to be questioned to make sure they were clean. Meaning they didn't have boyfriends, no tattoos, went to church, you get it. So as you can imagine, I had literally one or two friends. By 18, I didn't have any plans, I just packed my stuff and left. My parents weren't happy and tried for months to get me to come home, but fat chance.

Anyways, I landed a really good job and was able to get my first apartment shortly after. My friend is over at my house almost every day with her boyfriend and we just hang out. I didn't cut all contact with my parents, but I limit it to only special occasions. My mom wanted to have a Zoom family call and ask me to join. I figured what the hell, I'll join and say hi. As I'm talking to my little cousin, in my background they could see my friend's boyfriend coming to the living room area. Everyone's face kind of froze, but I didn't think much of it.

My mom asked who it was and I told her and she immediately got annoyed. She started asking me why he was leaving the bedroom and to clarify he didn't. The bathroom is right next to the bedroom so I could see why she would think that. She and my dad proceed to ask me why I have a guy at my home, why a 21 year old is hanging around me, and it was like I was 15 again. My mom didn't insist that I make him leave. At this point, my friend and her boyfriend heard this and were like, what the f? I didn't know what else to do but laugh. I said, are you out of your mind and laugh some more? I realized they were serious and said my goodbyes and hung up. Later, I started getting messages

that my parents are upset that I laughed at them, and my family says it's in my best interest to apologize because I was being a butthole for laughing. Am I the butthole for laughing? O.P. why don't you start telling your parents what they have to do in their home and see how they respond to it? They seem like the type of people who would be too uptight to laugh about it, but I can guarantee they would not be happy about you telling them what to do in their own home. OP, you're an adult living your own life in your own home, paying your own bills. Your parents have no say in that. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. Your parents get 1.5 out of 5 buttholes for trying to control their adult, grown daughter. That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you like this content, check out my Patreon

where I publish extra episodes. Also, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.