rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Yelling at My Sister For Pretending To Be Pregnant?

Episode Date: March 27, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP graciously decides to be a surrogate for her sister, who has troubles for fertility. The problem is that OP's sister keeps pretending that she's the one who's pr...egnant. When OP and her sister go shopping, a considerate worker offers OP a chair because, well, she is actually pregnant. OP's sister flips out and says that she's the one who deserves the chair because it's her child. OP yells at her sister that even though it's her sister's child, OP is the one who is actually pregnant and she's exhausted from constantly running around. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:25 at hellochambers.ca. That's hellochambers.ca. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Am I the Butthole where two parents abuse their disabled child? Am I the Butthole for moving out because my family keeps playing with my cane?
Starting point is 00:00:44 I'm a 17-year-old girl and I salute with my mom, my stepdad and my two half siblings, a 5 year old boy and a 7 year old girl. My dad died when I was 5 while driving me to the hospital. My mom didn't want to pay for an ambulance. My dad died in the crash and my leg and spine got busted up in a way that has left me needing a cane pretty much ever since. My stepdad's always been a little distant with me, and he likes to make jokes about how I'm an early blooming black widow.
Starting point is 00:01:11 I think he gets that from my mom who blames me for my dad's death. I do too, it is my fault after all, so I don't push back on it. Alright, normally I hold all my commentary for the end of the story, but I just have to stop this story here. OP, this is not your fault. In no way shape or form, in no universe is your dad dying from a car crash while he's driving you your fault. The fact that your mother blames you for that is utterly disgusting.
Starting point is 00:01:42 The fact that your stepfather jokes about that, and it's not even a good joke. A black widow is a woman who kills her husband or a spouse, not a girl who kills her father. Anyways OP, please don't blame yourself. This is completely 100% not your fault. Anyways, my point is that with the current situation, my parents are always looking for ways to get my half-siblings active and doing things without leaving the house and have recently settled on scavenger hunts. I have no problem with this, honestly. I do wish they'd stop hiding stuff in my underwear drawer, but it's a five-year-old and a seven-year-old, so that's not the worst.
Starting point is 00:02:18 My problem, though, is that they keep taking my cane when I'm not looking, and having it be one of the items that my half siblings need to find. When I complain to my stepdad, he scolds me for being selfish, and he points out that my swivel chair has wheels if I have to go to the bathroom and that they always get it back to me before I go downstairs for dinner. I complain to my mom yesterday, and she said that I was being a brat, and that if I wanted a father who cared about me, I shouldn't have killed my dad. I got really upset at that point and called my grandparents. That is my mom's parents.
Starting point is 00:02:49 My dad's parents are dead too. They showed up at 10 p.m. yesterday and grandma screamed at them while grandpa packed my stuff and helped me out to their car. My mom has been blowing up my phone and email, calling me all sorts of names and accusing me of turning our family against her and trying to get her in legal trouble since miners can't move out. And I can't help but think that maybe she's right. So am I the butthole? O.P. O.P. Listen, listen, listen, listen, I want to be ultra like 100% crystal clear. Listen when I tell you this. This is abuse. This is emotional abuse. This is physical abuse. Taking a disabled person's tools away from them is so so messed up.
Starting point is 00:03:35 You should treat someone's cane or their wheelchair as if it's an extension of their own body. And taking away someone's cane is like taking away someone's leg or arm. It's extremely disrespectful. And your mother constantly guilt-tripping you about your dad, that is utterly, completely disgusting behavior. I can't even make jokes about this because it's so disgusting. This woman does not deserve for you to call her mother. She doesn't deserve to have kids in the house.
Starting point is 00:04:04 By all means, you should go live with your grandparents because they seem like people who are actually invested in your well-being. Your mother and your stepfather are utterly disgusting human beings, and I'm giving them the full 5 out of 5 butthole score. Okay, you get zero out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling a girl to check her privilege? My school made the switch from paper to laptops and iPads two years ago, and since then, you can really see whose parents have money. I'm currently using some aces that my uncle gave me because my family is below the poverty
Starting point is 00:04:35 line. He bought it in 2011, and even though the battery is shot, it still runs in wordwork, so I don't need much else. There's a pretty big financial divide in my town, and thus a large divide in the school, which is one of two secondary schools. A girl in my class posted a TikTok where she was raiding people's laptops and iPads. She recorded mine, which was plugged in with this external hard drive, and you could very clearly see that the left side of the screen was broken.
Starting point is 00:05:01 She raided a negative 3 out of 10 in road, poor girl, and zoomed in on my shoes to prove a point. My shoes are fine, they're just not Air Force 1's. Other laptops that weren't the latest MacBook or the latest iPad got rated pretty low. One of my friends showed me her video and I confronted her about it. She seems really sheltered and I asked her to take it down. She refused, so then I told her that it's incredibly classist and I don't want that stuff on the internet. She still refused and I got mad at her each time. Check your f-ing privilege, not everyone can afford a 2000 euro laptop and not everyone f-ing prioritizes flashy over-functional. She hasn't taken the video down.
Starting point is 00:05:43 And my friend who showed me the video says that I overreacted and that made me the butthole. My friend said the other girl sheltered and I shouldn't overreact like that. Am I the butthole? Alright OP, so first of all, I'm pretty sure that if you go to TikTok and report that video by saying that you're in the video but you didn't get permission to be in that video, then I'm pretty sure that TikTok will just take that video down. That would probably be the easiest and most direct way of getting what you want. That being said, no, you're not the butthole. First of all, she is being privileged and classist and calling that out as perfectly acceptable.
Starting point is 00:06:20 Recording videos of minors and then putting those videos online where you're judging them is extremely rude. Overall, Lopie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving that girl 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. She's being a jerk and she deserves to be called out for that jerky behavior. Am I the butthole for telling my brother that his crush just likes him because he's a butthole and not because he's too smart? So I have a 13 year old younger brother who's a child
Starting point is 00:06:45 prodigy. I won't give too many details, but he's well known in the academic circles of our country and attends an Institute of Higher Education. Naturally, people are impressed with his intelligence, and he's quite popular and makes friends easily. Our parents do it on him and have never told him no. As a result, he's become very arrogant, condescending, and disrespectful to people he deems below him, and that's just about everyone. Lately, he's been openly talking about a girl that he's crushing on, and much to his dismay, she's quite unimpressed with him. He often complains to my parents and I about his failed attempts to befriend her. I understand why she dislikes him. On one occasion, he invited
Starting point is 00:07:24 her over for a school project and I overheard their interaction. He was constantly talking over her, dismissing her ideas and even calling them stupid. 99% of the time, he was talking about himself and his accomplishments, how he was in news articles, his future plans, etc. The poor girl obviously seemed uncomfortable. He quizzed her about her career aspirations and when she answered, he proceeded to point out that it's a bad career path. Today he was once again complaining about her and said that she's obviously intimidated
Starting point is 00:07:55 by my superior intellect. He claimed that all girls only like stupid guys and that women are emotional. Sadly, my parents agreed and kept assuring him that this girl is obviously uncomfortable with the fact that he's so accomplished and awesome. After hearing this nonsense one too many times, I finally told him that his crush just likes him because he behaves like an obnoxious, no-at-all douchebag.
Starting point is 00:08:17 I explained that he'd probably have a chance to be showed some modesty instead of talking down on this girl so much. So my parents obviously think that I'm the butthole for saying this. They said that it was horrible of me to say this to a 13 year old and that he's just a child. I told them that he needs to realize that his personality is becoming a problem and that his crush just likes him because he's a butthole, not because he's too smart.
Starting point is 00:08:40 Am I the butthole? Opie, not the butthole. It sounds like your parents are raising a narcissistic monster. Just because you have a high IQ doesn't mean you have a high EQ. As smart as this guy is, he clearly has no idea how to interact with people in a normal way. This reminds me of a show I watch. I think it was called like, WifeSwap or Family SpouseSwap.
Starting point is 00:09:02 I don't know, as one of those things were like, you have two completely opposite families and they swapped the moms of the two families. And one of the family, they were like really emotional, like emotional and in tune with their feelings and they cried and they expressed themselves. And the other family was very like logical and reasonable. And actually, that is not a logical conclusion type of family. So the logical family had this teenage boy who was just this insufferable douchey know-it-all and the emotional mom kept like trying to connect with this son and the son was just being really smarmy and douchey to the mom and just trashing on her constantly but the mom was being like really patient and like trying to just convey to him like look you can't just be a know-it- at all the time because people don't like that. And this kid just wasn't, wasn't figuring it out. So what she did was she went to like the local
Starting point is 00:09:51 church and found some really cute 16 year old girl. And to be clear, this boy was also like 16 or whatever. And she set them up on like a blind date. And they went. And afterwards the mom asked the 16 year old son what the date was like, and he was like, Oh, the date went incredible. I can't wait to see her again. I'm sure she was impressed by my amazing intellect. And then they cut to the 16 year old girl and she was like, Uh, yeah, I tried to be nice to him on the date, but he was just constantly rude and talking about himself, and he was really condescending.
Starting point is 00:10:25 So there's definitely not going to be date number 2. And the mom showed the 16 year old boy this girl's interview and he was like, oh, I see. Well maybe being emotionally entuned isn't such a bad thing after all. So I guess what I'm trying to say here OP is that you're 100% correct, but if you really want your younger brother to get this lesson, don't make him hear this advice from you. after all. This NBA season make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with Fandool. a teenage girl. Your business has grown fast, from opening your first location to planning an expansion in no time. And with your business platinum card from American Express, you can access spending power and
Starting point is 00:11:33 payment flexibility to fuel your growth. Sarah, the contractor is here with the plans. American Express, don't do business without it. Terms and conditions apply if it is it amx.ca slash business platinum. In my the butthole for saying that my kids aren't my greatest accomplishment and that I resent the assumption that they are, I love my kids, but they're not my everything. I had a whole lifetime before my kids. I ran marathons, climb mountains, wrote a novel that was published and didn't moderately successful in the arts. And I have an MFA in creative writing, chatting with some folks
Starting point is 00:12:10 in the neighborhood we got to talking about our greatest accomplishments. When it came to me, one of my neighbors, Tom, said, oh well, we all know what your greatest accomplishment is, obviously. You have three beautiful well-behaved children. I was honestly shocked and said no that's not my greatest accomplishment. He looked just as shocked and I said what my greatest accomplishment is and then I said and by the way I resent the assumption that having kids is my greatest accomplishment. You have kids why didn't you say that? He talked about how he didn't birth the kids and how that's a miracle of life and all that gag me stuff. I just rolled my eyes and said, let's not
Starting point is 00:12:50 boil women down to their biological functions, okay? Jin, who also has kids chimed in and said, Well my kids are my greatest accomplishment, I can't imagine thinking anything else. Tom looked super smug and others including, including other moms, chimed in. All the other moms agreed that kids were their greatest accomplishments. I kinda stewed about that. After that, the woman who chimed in sent me a message asking if I wanted to talk to someone, and asking if I was depressed because my statement was worrisome.
Starting point is 00:13:20 She ended up reaching out to my husband to encourage me to get help, because it seems that I'm unhappy with being a mom mom and that puts my kids at risk. Am I really the butthole here for thinking that being a mom isn't the end-all be all of my life? Like WTF? Nah OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes here. First off, children on accomplishments, they're people. Second, the great thing about being a human being is you get to define your own existence. If those other mothers wanted to find themselves by their kids, then go for it. They have every right to do so. But if you want to define yourself by other accomplishments and also be proud of your kids, then what's the problem? O.P., your friends are super sexist and they're basically
Starting point is 00:14:01 saying that a woman's value boils down to whether or not she can have kids. Also, I have to wonder. Do you woman's value boils down to whether or not she can have kids. Also I have to wonder, do you think that Tom is trying to belittle your accomplishments because you have accomplished so much in life, and by belittling your other accomplishments and pointing to your kids as your major accomplishment, he can feel better about his jealousy? Also down in the comments, some people are saying that actually everyone sucks here because OP was getting all in a huff over a minor comment, but the neighbors made a sexist comment to OP, so she has every right to get upset about it.
Starting point is 00:14:30 If I was having small talk with someone and someone made some condescending remark to me, I would have a right to get upset about that too. Anyways, OP, you could zero out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving your neighbors 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for screaming at my sister and telling her that she's not actually pregnant? I'm a 35 year old woman who's pregnant with my 30 year old sister's child. My sister has some fertility issues and is enabled to have a safe pregnancy.
Starting point is 00:14:55 I offered to carry her baby for her and her husband. I'm now currently six and a half months along and everything's going well. Once we found out that I was pregnant, my sister made the decision to live like she herself is the one pregnant. I found it odd, but I didn't see an issue with it. I understood that she's going through an emotional time.
Starting point is 00:15:14 I mainly thought that this was going to be something just between her and her husband. I was wrong, and she's begun to act pregnant in her daily life. At first it was just small things, like having her husband run out to get food that she was craving. But it developed into other things like wearing maternity clothes. She also gets annoyed if I talk about my cravings or my pregnancy symptoms around her. These things don't bother me much, and I just think my sister wants to feel involved. Today, my sister wanted to go shopping to look at baby things since the stores have reopened
Starting point is 00:15:43 in our area. The day started with her getting angry whenever a sales staff would talk to me. I would explain to the salespeople that my sister as the mother whenever it was needed. After a few stores we arrived at a baby retailer where she wanted to make a baby registry. At this point, I was extremely tired and wanted to go home. I told my sister this, and she promises would be the last store. I must have looked exhausted because as we were waiting, the salesperson brought over a chair for me to sit while the registry paperwork was done. When she brought it over, she said something like, here's a chair for mom. I didn't correct the salesperson this time
Starting point is 00:16:17 and just sat down. My sister told me to get up and give her the chair after I sat down. I asked her why and I tried to explain that I was tired. My sister berated me by saying the salesperson said the chair was for the mom and that she was supposed to sit. She said that this was her registry appointment and how dare I act like this was all about me. She said that she was the one who was the expected mother and that she had to sit down right now. I told my sister that, yeah, she's gonna be the mother, but I'm the one who's currently pregnant. I snapped at her that she's not actually pregnant and she doesn't understand how exhausting
Starting point is 00:16:54 it can be. I told her that I'm trying my best to appease her, but she's being ridiculous. My sister began to cry, saying that I was shaming her for not being able to get pregnant and that I was making fun of her. I tried to depend myself until her that's not what I meant. She wouldn't listen and she ran out of the store. Everyone in the store was staring at us. They were looking at me like I was a complete monster after hearing what my sister said.
Starting point is 00:17:19 My mother says that I should have just let my sister have the seat. I know this thing must seem so small and stupid because it's about a chair, but I don't know if I'm the butthole in this situation or not. Opie, it sounds like your sister is going through some kind of like emotional or psychological trouble that is manifesting in some really troubling ways. I get that this is her child, so she wants to feel involved, she wants to be important, she wants to be the star of the show, and yeah, in a way she should be. However, we can't overlook the reality of the situation, which is that you're the one who's pregnant.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Pregnant people have real, tangible needs. They get tired, they have to go to the bathroom a lot, they need to eat certain things, they can't eat certain things. Those needs are important because it affects the health of both you and the baby. So yeah, even though your sister should be the star of the show, the unfortunate reality is that she has to share the stage with you. She has to be mindful of your physical needs of you being tired or hungry or whatever. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. The fact that you're carrying your sister's child makes you seem like an amazing sibling.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Also, for the most part, you've been patiently dealing with your sister's emotions. You did have this one outbreak, but given the situation, I'd say that's pretty understandable. Your sister, however, is acting very unreasonably. I'm giving her 2 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, check out my Patreon where I publish extra episodes. Also, be sure to follow this podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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