rSlash - r/Bestof I Took a 7 Year "Break" From my Husband & Kids

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:13 Fraud marriage 6:58 Awful mother Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home Welcome to our slash best of redditor updates where Opie finds out that his marriage is a lie and for the past 10 years His wife has been secretly in love with his best friend our next reddoppost comes from our slash marriage My wife married me because of my best friend. This sounds fake. It sounds like a drama script. I don't effing care. I need to get it out somewhere or I'm gonna go nuts.

We're all from the same school. Apparently my wife had a huge crush on my best friend since junior high. And my best friend knew about this. It's been 10 years since we got married and my wife still loves him. That makes it 10 plus years of one-sided love from her to him and 12 years of my one-sided love to her. She only got close to me and dated me so that she could stay in touch with my best friend. She wanted to be a part of his life no matter what, so she chose me as a scapegoat.

And here I thought she loved me. How did I find this out? She told me three weeks ago. Why did she tell me? Because I decided that we were ready for a child and I brought up the discussion over dinner. She told me that she could make love to me, she could marry me, and even act like she loved me, and obviously did a pretty good

job at it, but she can't bear to give birth to a child that's mine and not his. She can't give birth to a child that looks like me and not him, so she can't have my child, then she left me. That day, she didn't even say sorry, not that that would make it any better, but she did say that she did her best. Did her best and that it is what it is. That's the end of the story. I have no more to tell. She just left, and she's not picking up my calls, emails, texts, or whatever way of contacting her. I haven't reached out to my best friend either. I know that they're not together. Actually, maybe I'll be happy for her if she does end up with him at this point. And here I am, not feeling anything, and I'm not sure if this is normal. This feels like a big play. I'm not even sure if I put this

right into text. I'm sorry, this is a mess. Then, down in the comments, OP adds some more clarifying details. We did talk about kids before this. A couple of times actually, but I wasn't very serious about it until now. She said that she wasn't really into having kids yet, and she just wanted to enjoy ourselves when we could. She made it clear that she isn't seeking your relationship with my friend. She told me that she doesn't really imagine having a relationship with them, and that's just how it's gonna be for whoever knows how long. I know this sounds weird, but she told me that this whole one-sided love is a bit of a

permanent habit of hers that she can't get rid of. Ever. I don't know if she ever sought therapy for this. No, I don't intend to continue this marriage. This marriage was meant to break from the very start, and how that I think about it. Then four days later, OP posted an update. This marriage was meant to break from the very start, how that I think about it. Then four days later, OP posted an update. I met up with my buddy last night and asked him what's new, drink a bit, and finally,

I brought up this conversation. It was not easy to bring up. He was shocked, of course, probably just as much as I was. He didn't know what to say for a long time. It seems like my wife never contacted him even after she left. I asked him, did my wife ever say that she has feelings for you? To that, he said, a long time ago, yes. She did say that she had feelings for me.

But that was more than a decade ago, long before YouTube were dating, when we were all young and dumb. We talked for a long time about a lot of things, mostly about our past, our school years, college years, life, everything. My friend didn't have to be involved in this messy story, but myself, I self decided that it was a good idea to talk to him about it. I regret it. He said sorry, even though it wasn't his fault. I'm a terrible person for this.

And as for my wife, we're meeting up in two weeks. If you ask why two weeks, she sent me an email saying that she's in another country because she also felt like she needed to go off somewhere to put things together and she'll return in two weeks. She wants to meet up for a talk and I agreed to it. Then four months later, OP posts an update. To make things short, my wife died and I'm a widower. You may say, what the f after reading this, but she did die.

It was suicide. We met shortly after the email she sent me. Believe it or not, it was not pretty. I thought that I could keep myself together, but I ended up going crazy. Never have I cried so much in my life, and never have I been so used in my life. I honestly, sincerely, deeply felt the meaning of betrayal. My conversation with her was basically me just repeating, why'd you do this to me?

How could you do this to me? Why did you marry me? And why did you have to tell me this now? She didn't really give a clear answer to my questions. She was mostly quiet, and she only gave answers that made me even more emotional. One thing I do remember was her saying, I'm sorry. After more meaningless conversations, I said I wanted a divorce. Not loving me was one thing, but to deceive me for over a decade is another.

She agreed to it. Since we agreed to a year of separation before marriage, we got separated and that was that. I told her to sincerely f-off and to never show herself in front of me ever again. And then she died. A week after my wife left, I got a phone call from my mother-in-law telling me that my wife died. She took pills and didn't wake up again. She didn't leave a note or any messages to anyone. She just left for good and that was that. The funeral

took place, but I couldn't go. My best friend went, and I hope she's happy with that. It's been three months since she died. A deep trauma has taken place inside of me, and I've been seeking therapy since. It hasn't gotten better, but with that, I'm at least functioning at the bare minimum of a human being at least. I don't think I'll ever find a resolution from this incident. My life has been torn apart and my entire self can't function the way it used to. If this post is a mess, I'm sorry, this is the best that I can do. Some of you may find my story disturbing, or even think that I made it up. I don't really care if you find it a lie.

I myself have a hard time believing this, and I'm still processing it. This is the last post that I will ever make. There is no meaning in life anymore, but for me, I'll have to go on. Oh man, that story was rough to get through OP. Best wishes. God, what she did to you is it feels like it should be illegal to just emotionally torture someone like that and completely ruin 10 years of their life. I don't even understand what this woman's plan was. Was she planning on just, I don't know, hoping that the guy randomly falls in love with her, but she just never made a move and, uh, uh, uh,

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Terms and conditions apply as at mx.ca slash business platinum. Our next red oppose comes from our slash am I the butthole. Am I the butthole for Am I the Butthole for trying to get back into my kids' lives? I'm a 28 year old woman and I have three kids with my ex, who's 30. We were never married but we dated while I was in college. My senior year, I got pregnant and had twin boys. My boyfriend moved me in with him and we were raising our kids together. Fourteen months after giving birth to the boys, I had a girl. Immediately after, I had postponed part of depression.

I was not doing well, and I decided to go back home to my parents to try to clear my head. Once home, I saw my old bedroom, my old things, and I was kind of reminded of what I always wanted to do. I had always wanted to take a gap year to travel, but I'd gotten a scholarship to my first choice school and it seemed silly to pass it up. I decided then that this is what I needed

to get in the right mental state. I called my boyfriend and told him that I'm going to Europe for a couple of months. He was outraged and tried to talk me out of it. I explained that this is what I needed to go back to being myself and be a better parent and partner. So I went. He called me the first couple of months and kept asking if I was coming back.

Eventually, he stopped calling. About six months in, my parents told me that he had filed to get full custody of the kids. I was mad that he didn't tell me before doing it. Oh my god. But I thought that I would at least take full advantage and really see the world and get it out of my system. I traveled for a little over two years and visited every continent, every continent. No way, including Antarctica. OP probably isn't including Antarctica. There's no way. When I was done, I really wanted to see my kids,

but I felt guilty for not being present in their lives and I didn't want to face my ex. One of the friends that I made in my travels offered me a gig as an English teacher in a private school in Thailand. I took the opportunity and spent the next three years doing that. This year, I returned state side and stayed with my parents. They showed me pictures of the kids and told me that my ex let them see the kids a couple of times. I got in touch with him, telling him that I was ready to be involved in their lives, and he flat out refused. I threatened to sue for custody, and he just replied, good luck with that, and then sent me pictures of me partying in Europe. They are not flattering.

My parents want to see their grandkids more, but they tell me that it's all my fault for not being able to see them. Am I the butthole for not trying to see them? Okay, okay. Before I get into the update on this, I don't know where the update is going, but there's something I want to point out that's really subtle and I don't know if it's true, this is pure speculation. But OP points out that her parents want to be involved

in the kid's life. However, the X only lets them see the kids a couple of times. So that kind of has me wondering, why is that? Why would the X husband not want his parents in law to be involved in the kid's life? Because obviously, he's been abandoned by his wife. You think he'd want all the help he can get, right?

Well, here's my theory, this is my guess. I think what's happening here is Opie said that she lived two years abroad visiting every single continent. My guess is that Opie's parents were bankrolling her adventures. Because two years traveling and never working, that's gotta be insanely expensive. We're talking tens of thousands of dollars.

So my guess is that OP was off parting on mommy and daddy's dime while her boyfriend was struggling to raise three kids without a partner. That's just a guess I can't back this up, but if it's true that makes this story even worse. Then down in the comments we have this update. Reddit, it's my time to shine. I had to make a brand new account to not reveal anything personal. I know exactly who this is. I know the kids and the dad.

Those kids were raised by a wolf pack. When this pathetic waste of oxygen abandoned her kids, basically anyone and everyone who had a passing relation to the dad stepped up. His mom moved in for the first year to help with the babies. Neighbors, friends and relatives all donated or bought kids stuff for them. Clothes, diapers, toys, anything he needed. One of his friends manages a restaurant and he brought them unused food almost every night.

I work at a bank, so I had nothing useful to contribute other than money and time. One of our buddies runs a mixed martial arts gym and he is a kids class at Sartz after school. So he takes them in after school until their dad gets off work. Whenever the kids need a babysitter, two or three rowdy men show up to be horsies or punching bags for the boys and tea party guests for the little girl. One of our other friends is a lawyer. He helped his dad gain custody and advised him through the process. OPs' parents are rich and they always offer money to help. I knew it! I knew it!

I mean, strictly speaking, this doesn't actually confirm that OPs' parents were bankrolling OPs' parties in Europe, but come on, come on guys, we know the truth here. I knew there had to be a reason why the dad wasn't allowing OPs' parents to be involved be involved in the kid's life, and this makes perfect sense. Okay anyways back to the story. That way O.P.'s parents can't use that leverage in a future custody battle. He didn't even let them introduce themselves as their grandparents so they can't claim a relationship. Their dad is doing well now and those kids don't want for anything. Every Sunday night he hosts us to watch football and hang out with the kids. His daughter delights in serving everyone and there's so much better off without this witch.

Okay, the original post that OP wrote was deleted, obviously because she was getting blasted in the comments. So unfortunately I can't read all the juicy details of everyone blasting OP because she couldn't handle the heat. Clearly OP is a type of person who runs away from her problems. So obviously you know I have a kid and having one kid isn't as bad as having twin boys that's gotta be super rough. Twin boys and another girl who's just one year younger, that's a lot obviously and I can understand wanting to take a break. But for context, when me and my wife are feeling overwhelmed and we want to break, typically that translates into the exhausted person sleeping in in the morning and maybe taking a nap or something and the other person focusing on the kid throughout the day.

Not banishing into Europe for two months, which turns into half a year, which turns into two years, which turns into seven years, and then, okay, I've cleared my head. I'm ready to come back. The kids are gonna be like, who are you? This story, it's actually wild just how huge the dichotomy is between OP, whose I'm gonna cuss is a piece of shit. Let's be honest, just an actual human piece of shit. And then in contrast to that, we have OP's boyfriend, who is an amazing human being. Not only OP, but his entire family, his friends. He's just a great guy who's surrounded by great people and they do the right thing every

single day to do the best thing for those kids. Oh man. This is why I don't like to give out 5 out of 5 butthole scores so I can save them for people like you, OP. Easy as 5 out of 5 butthole score in my life. Can you imagine how NARS assisted, deluded, self-obsessed you have to be, to vanish without giving any advanced notice, and then come back like 7 years later, and when you find out that your ex-boyfriend filed for custody, you're like, how dare you say that without consulting me first. Okay, but it's fine for you to banish for seven years

without consulting him first, what? That was our slash best of redditor updates. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.