rSlash - r/Bestof "My Fat, Pregnant Wife Doesn't Deserve Food"

Episode Date: September 10, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:12 I'm a cow 7:10 Tragedy Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month Go to HelloFresh.com/50rslash and use code 50rslash for 50% off plus free shipping! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, I'm Pete Davidson. People are always asking me, Pete, how do you always keep elevating? And to be honest, I have no idea. Is it my swive nature? My incredibly brilliant brain. Or maybe it's new smart water alkaline with antioxidant and a higher pH.

The skin does look glowing. Hey, thanks, creepy radio announcer, dude. All good, Pete. Elevate how you hyd, and keep it smart. Like me! With smart water alkaline. Welcome to R-slash Best of Redditor Updates, where a husband throws away all of his pregnant wife's food

and calls her a fat cow. Our next Reddit post comes from R-slash Relationship Advice. I'm a 29-year-old woman and my husband is 31. My husband threw away all of my food because he says. I'm a 29 year old woman and my husband is 31. My husband threw away all of my food because he says that I'm a cow. We've been married for six years together for nine. We were two college kids who fell in love and decided to build a life together. I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who's 14 weeks old, who's my entire world. I've suffered through three miscarriages and experienced several complications during pregnancy. I was on bed rest for three months, and I had to go through over 20 hours of labor before

the doctors performed an emergency C-section. But our daughter was born healthy and happy, and all that pain was worth it. I'd gained about 30 pounds during my pregnancy. I was 5'7 and 121 pounds prior. After giving birth, I gained another 10 pounds since I'd been breastfeeding and my body has been craving calorie dense foods. Not junk food, but like 70% dark chocolate, stuff like plantainships, meats, dairy, nuts, etc.

My doctor told me that I should just listen to my body's needs and feed myself whatever I feel like I need. My husband's been helpful. He was happy when he learned the gender. He took care of me and accommodated all my needs during my bid rest. Postpartum, however, he started to make up excuses to not help with the baby. He hasn't been as affectionate with our daughter as I'd hoped he'd be. He made a few negative comments about my weight here and there, like, you're a bit chubby. Today's a good day to work out and shed some pounds. I was an extremely active woman who worked out four to five times a week and indulged in dangerous and adventurous activities.

But now I'm completely exhausted. I can barely get out of bed. I've collapsed five times and I'm stressed out. And at the same time, I have to take care of our baby in the household. The other day, my husband had already gone to work and I went to the kitchen and found all of my food gone. Every single bag, box, and package, everything. I called him crying to inquire where all my food is and he told me that he threw everything

out because I had to start losing weight. I hung up on him and I called my best friend so that she could bring me some food that I needed from the store. Afterwards my husband came home and when he saw the food that she had brought he threw everything outside and smashed everything with his foot. I was furious with him and I was screaming and yelling at him for being such a selfish piece of garbage, and he called me an effing cow while throwing some of the crushed packages

at me and ended with punching a hole in the door. I called my brother who picked me and my baby up, and I'm now staying at his place. His mother and sister, and even my own mother are all defending him that I have to lose weight and apologize to him for my postpartum breakdown. I guess I'm just not sure if this is good grounds to file for divorce or if I should listen to my mother. Is this- is this how all men are wired? Okay. Uh, I can answer for that as a man, as a father. This is not how all men are wired. This is bonkers. This is ridiculous.

I don't even know where to start. We'll start with the easy one. This is abuse. Now let's address the second topic, which is denying food from a breastfeeding mother is very, very dangerous to the woman's health. Because a woman's body when she's breastfeeding will actually prioritize breast milk over her own health. If a woman doesn't get enough calcium when she's breastfeeding will actually prioritize breast milk over her own health. If a woman doesn't get enough calcium when she's breastfeeding, her body will extract calcium from her teeth to give it to the baby. Her teeth will literally fall out of her head. Then on top of that, OP you've collapsed five times when my wife was pregnant, she never

collapsed once, so this is very worrying to me. I don't know what's going on. sounds like you need medical attention not a diet. Alright Opie posted an update about two weeks later. He did say that he was sorry for calling me an f-ing cow but he said that he was only being honest and said and I quote, isn't honesty the most important foundation of a happy and healthy relationship and I thought that he was right. So I started cutting back on my food and eating low calorie foods, but problems almost immediately

arose. My energy levels dropped, and my milk supplied diminished quickly. I must have collapsed at least four times during that period. And three days ago, at night, the baby was crying non-stop, and my husband got angry and yelled at me to make her stop. I told him that I wasn't producing enough milk due to the lack of food, and he literally said, cows egress and produce gallons of milk.

What are you, a meat cow? Holy sh**. That's when I decided to take my daughter while I was shushing her and letting her breastfeed, whatever drops of milk I had there, and once my husband fell asleep, I left the house and came to my best friend who welcomed me in and told me I could stay there as long as I need to. I didn't go to my brother because I didn't trust him anymore since he also told me that I should try to work things out with my husband.

I already filed for divorce and cut off contact with his family and my own mother. My best friend and her fiance have been helping me a lot by taking care of my baby while I was resting, and my best friend would bring whatever I needed from the store. My milk supply has returned to normal, and I haven't collapsed once. I've probably had more rest for these three days than I've had in a month. I'm going to attempt to get full custody and supervise visits from the father, but my best friends fiance said that it might be difficult to do without evidence. I do at least have some evidence because we of course have cameras outside of our house

and they recorded everything. It may not be enough, but Fingers crossed. The most vulnerable and dependent that a woman will ever be in her life is when she's pregnant and right after when she's breastfeeding. And this guy chooses that exact moment to reveal that he is a complete piece of garbage. If my wife when she was breastfeeding collapsed once, let alone 7-8 times like it happened to OP. I wouldn't let her do anything.

She'd be on bed rest. She'd be eating anything and everything she wants, she'd be going to the doctor. This guy's like, I think it's time for you to shed some pounds. Have you considered high intensity aerobics? OP, you're much better off without your husband. You know, also this reminds me, since we're talking about... So since we're talking about abusive loved ones,

my dog has started gaslighting me. We feed our dog, you go on a very strict schedule. And, and whenever it's time for food, he gets really excited. He gets antsy, he gets a little bit whiny, he just knows food's coming, he's like, I'm ready, give me food, I'm so hungry. Now, my problem is I'm really forgetful,

so sometimes I'll feed him and then two minutes later, I'll have no recollection if I fed him before. My damn dog has figured out that he can gaslight me into thinking that I didn't feed him. So I'll feed him and then he'll come up next to me and act all antsy and energetic and whiny as if I hadn't fed him and then I'm like, oh my bad, I haven't fed you.

Let me go feed you buddy and then I feed him and then he does it again. East side Mario's all you can eat. Is all you can munch a soup, salad, and garlic home milk. Oh my God, I'm on me! I'm on a boomeropin'! This NBA season make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with

FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sports book. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Camel & Tom call 18665-212-600 or visit Connects Ontario. That's it. Our next reddit post comes from R-slashTrue off my chest. I've been married for 15 years. I've known my wife since she was 8. We have three daughters together, ages 17, 14, and 11.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm an outsider in my relationship with all of them. I'm just an ATM and a taxi service to my kids. My wife hasn't kissed me in six months. She hasn't said that she loves me in one and a half years. No matter how much I communicate, try to plan anything or do anything, it's always shot down, forgotten or dismissed. I don't get angry, I don't yell, I don't get physical. I like to spurge during birthdays and Mother's Day. I throw parties and give gifts and try to show how much I love them. I get a lukewarm thanks. And if I'm lucky, a side hug that lasts 0.001 seconds.

This week was the breaking point. Father's Day. I wake up to an empty house. Odd. No, no, nothing was written on the calendar, and nothing said beforehand. I sent a text to my wife, and I got back. I took the girls out for a spa day. Don't wait up!

Then nothing. Literally nothing. Dinner time comes around and they get home. I asked them how their day was. It was fine. I asked what they would like for dinner. Nothing. We already ate at such and such restaurant. Which, what they would like for dinner. Nothing. We already ate at

such and such restaurant, which by the way is my favorite restaurant. Cool. Whatever. There's no mention of it being Father's Day. No. I love you. How are you? Nothing. Fast forward to Wednesday, which was my birthday. Nothing. Literally again. Nothing. Guys, buckle up. This is a long post. I'm guessing this is about to get a lot worse before it gets better. I suggested plans and they got shot down. I suggested food. Nope, shot down.

Ask about watching a movie, but they're all too busy. They just sat on their phones doing nothing. Now to Thursday night. I'm in bed and my wife is next to me. She rolls over and says in a nasty tone, Oh, year birthday was the other day. I guess you expect to passionately hug. That broke something in me. I said, no, I don't expect it. At this point, I don't expect

anything anymore. What is that supposed to mean? So I started asking her questions. When was the last time we shared a kiss? Like, a week ago? No, it was December of last year during her parents holiday party. When was the last time we passionately hugged? The beginning of the year? Nope, wrong. It's been over a year. She was adamant that we did it in February. I want to clarify that OP is writing this post in June. I said something like, you may have passionately hugged, but it wasn't with me. I asked her, when was the last time you said that you love me? I say it all the time. Not to me you don't.

Check your messages and you don't say it to my face. Well, you should just know that I do. Okay, when was the last time we went on a date? There was a long pause. You're being unfair. At this point, my emotions fully turned on. I was crying and raising my voice at this point. I ask her how wanting any sign of love

from anyone in the house is unfair. If expecting anything from my birthday or father's day was unfair. At this point, she had a, uh-oh, look. Oh, yeah, you forgot that as well. I'm not an ATM, I'm not a taxi service, I'm not a punching bag. She asked why this was coming up out of the blue, but it didn't. I tried to talk to my family, but I could dismiss or ignore it.

I brought up examples and she says, I didn't know your series, I didn't know it was such a big deal. I left saying something to the effect of, if you want to pretend that I'm invisible and don't exist, fine. You don't have to pretend anymore. I left the house at almost midnight. I haven't been home since, and I'm not sure what to do now. I'm finally sober enough to think, but I don't know what to do. To be clear, this is my first time drinking in 15 years,

and I'm not going to drink anymore after this. I love my family, but I can't keep this up. I don't know what more I can do, I think they'd be happier without me. They already act like I don't exist. I can't be the one who's blamed for everything. If I truly am the problem, then me not being there should fix it. I can't do this anymore. I've tried to be a good provider, a good partner, and a good dad.

I never miss an event for our kids. I never prioritize work. I kept good hours so I could see them more. I took on more responsibility to better our life in future, but it's never appreciated. It's never enough. I'm never enough. I only got one message from my wife. I'm sorry for making you feel that way.

We all love you, and we're here for you when you want to come home and talk. That's it. No other messages, no calls, nothing from the kids. I feel like if they really wanted me there, they would try reaching out more. All the kids have their own phones, and I don't know what she told them. I'm sure my kids heard me raise my voice. Me raising my voice would have definitely gotten their attention since I never do that. I'm sure they heard me leave.

I just don't know. Then, more than one month later, OP posts an update. I have not been well, but I am doing better. You guys have helped me a lot, and it means more than you know. I was able to get some help through work. They have resources for therapy as well as legal counsel. So far I like the new therapist. I also got referred to divorce lawyers. I don't want to use them but I had a talk with them and I got an idea of what that route would be like. I'll be like 70% screwed but we are at an at fault

state so if it turns out that she was cheating, I'll be okay, ish. My kids did reach out after a few days because they were worried. I told them I'm fine, I do truly love them, and I miss them, but I needed space and time. For the first time ever, I missed some of their extracurricular activities. I think this is what made them understand that something was really wrong. Some other family members and friends noticed and started asking questions to everyone involved. My kids also mentioned how things weren't the same without me around and my wife was struggling.

My wife reached out a couple of times just checking in and apologizing, giving me updates on things and a couple of times she asked me about the 4th of July. We usually host a party slash barbecue. I said that I wasn't interested. I said that her and I had to talk alone in person, and that happened the weekend after the 4th of July. Apparently she was planning the 4th of July as a surprise birthday party for me to make up for forgetting my birthday, but I ruined it because I didn't go and I wasn't interested.

When we met up to talk, she wasn't alone and brought the kids. I was happy to see them. They seemed happy to see me as well. But I asked for my wife and I to talk alone. When I asked my wife this, she said the kids missed me and it was fine, we can talk with them here, which I feel was a manipulative move. I explained that this was another example of how my feelings are once getting ignored and cast aside, how I've been ignored for a while

and how that's not right by anyone. She kept apologizing. I said that while I acknowledge the apologies, I don't accept them. Most of the apologies to me feel like they're not real. Such as her initial apology of, I'm sorry you feel that way. Or they sound forced or she's just saying what she thinks I want to hear. Action speak

louder than empty words. I also said that she's setting an example of how I'm treated to our daughters, and this is how our daughters will treat me and their future relationships. I think at this point my wife regretted bringing the kids. My 14 year old took my 11 year old for some snacks. My 17 year old stayed. I flat out asked my wife if there was anyone else. If she was cheating physically, emotionally or otherwise. She looked like I had just slapped her. She said that she would never do that. I asked her why she was so adamant about us passionately hugging in February. At this point, my 17-year-old daughter dipped out of the conversation. Because in reality, we hadn't passionately hugged for much longer than that. She said that she didn't know.

We talked for an additional 20 minutes. Finally, I took out the two folders that I had with me. One was a separation document. Not quite a divorce, but halfway to it. The other was a therapist referral for individuals and couples. I needed her to understand how serious I was. I asked her to look over each document and ask herself which one she wanted. I said that she had to make the decision and schedule the appointments.

I explained that I am done living this way, and if she chooses to stay with me, then there are going to be major changes occurring both in our relationship and at home. I love the woman I married, had kids with, and built a life together, but I don't know where she went. My kids came back, and my 11 year old was mad that I wasn't coming back with them that night. I gave my wife time. She contacted me the next day, saying that she made appointments for herself and

for her and I. She explained that she set up some bi-weekly individual therapy, and we have our first couple's therapy early next month. I've been using the Grey Rock method towards her, so it's still a work in progress. I'm not in as dark of a place as I was when I first posted. Some things are better than it was. I'm willing to put in the work, but it won't be one sided. There is a plan moving forward, so that's a plus. I've been home for a week now, but I've been sleeping in a different room. Some changes have been put in place already, but this will be the real test. As a side note, on the second night of me being back, my wife actually tried to initiate

passionate hugging, but I said no that it wasn't the time or place for that. We have a lot of work before that can happen again. Okay, so there's one thing about this post that I'm trying to figure out because it's kind of fishy. OPs kids are 11, 14, and 17, and yes, it is very typical for teenagers to pull apart from their parents, but the kids are across such a huge age range, 11 to 17. I feel like at least one of them.

It just feels impossible to me that all three of the daughters would simultaneously be in a phase where they don't want to spend any time with their father, especially the 11 year old. So that makes me think that it has to be one of two situations. Either A, OP is not a good father, which based on this post doesn't seem remotely possible

because it sounds like he really cares and wants to be involved in a makes effort, like he shows up to all the extracurriculars so it really feels like he's putting in the effort. Or B, which seems much, much more likely, is that the wife is just constantly badmouthing and insulting and just not being a good person to the husband, and that behavior is trickling down to the kids, and the kids think that that's how women should treat a man in their life, so they also ignore him. So I think either intentionally or unintentionally,

like we don't know what the wife is saying to the kids during their spa days, maybe she's denigrating her husband, I don't know. I think that unintentionally or intentionally, she is ruining the relationship between OP and the daughters, which is mega, mega depressing. Guys, two days ago, when I was done with work, I walked upstairs, and when I got to the top of the stairs,

my daughter was at the end of the hallway, and she saw me, and she said, daddy, and she ran to me, top speed, for a little two-year-old, smiling, and they gave me a big hug. And that was like two days ago, and I'm still riding the high from that. So the idea of having your toxic, uncaring,

possibly cheating life, bomb your relationship with all three of your daughters so that you have no love from anyone is just, this is a crushing read, OP. This is devastating. The one to combo of forgetting your birthday and forgetting father's day, that is, that's painful. That is emotional damage.

I hope things work out, OP. Honestly, I don't think there's much hope in this relationship. I'd be surprised if the wife can turn it around. I think OP's best chance is to divorce the wife and then have a real sit down conversation with the daughters and say, look, I'm trying to build a bridge to you, but I can only build it halfway.

You have to build a bridge the other half towards me. If you don't want me in your life, then I'm not gonna other half towards me. If you don't want me in your life, then I'm not gonna be in your life. But if you do want me in your life, if you want me to be your father, then you actually have to make the effort to spend time with me, to talk to me, to be involved in my life

because I'm trying to be involved in your life. So do you want me around? If so, like let's spend time together. I'd be very, very surprised if his daughters reject that. That was our slash best of editor updates, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.