rSlash - r/Bestof My Fiancé Left Me at the Altar, Now He Wants Me Back!

Episode Date: September 3, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:08 Left at the altar 6:32 Squatter 10:59 He could do what Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, Max, we have a new spot for Sunwing vacations. Okay, Sunwing Cyber Monday deals up to 40% off. Hang on, I think we got the wrong script. Yeah, it's 40% off, what's the issue? 40% off Cyber Monday vacation deals? Yes, why do you keep repeating me? 40% off? Huh, just think about what you could do with all those savings. I know, in fact it's in the script. When you save more, you can do more.

For daily door crashing deals, visit your local travel agent, or... Welcome to our Slash Best of Redditor updates, where Opeek gets abandoned at the wedding altar. Our next reddit post comes from our slash advice. My ex-fiancé wants to catch up with me after he left me at the altar. How do I proceed? I'm a 28 year old woman. My ex-fiance, Derek, who's 32, disappeared the morning of our wedding two years ago, evading all attempts to reach him from myself and his family. It was devastating, absolutely soul crushing.

The event turned into a party to distract from the pain of the unknown. Afterwards, I returned to our apartment and slept on the bathroom floor in my wedding dress. It was quite the ugly sight, to be honest. His mother ended up coming to my apartment when she informed me tearfully that Derek had run off with an ex of his. They had apparently reconnected a week prior to the wedding and he just couldn't go through

with it, opting instead to rekindle his relationship with his ex. His family was horrified. I didn't hear from him until three months after he left. He called me, apologized, and then revealed that his ex had been hiding his child from him, which he just found out about, and he wanted to be with him. That's pretty much all that was said. I didn't say much. Actually, I think I only said hello.

The whole situation left me numb. I just didn't care anymore. Thankfully though, my friends were and continue to be there for me through all this muck. They encouraged me to seek therapy and work on healing, which I'll be honest was terribly difficult, but after a year I felt myself again, which brings me to today. After this whole debacle and subsequent self-improvement, I moved to the UK for Australia for a change in scenery. Last night, I got a message request on Instagram.

It was Derek. Hey, waving emoji. I've heard you move to Wales. That's cool. I'm traveling to Cardiff towards the end of July. I'm deeply sorry about everything, and I want to discuss what happened leading up to the wedding. I hope I'm not overwhelming you. Let me know if you'd like to talk over lunch. Firstly, I have no idea who told him about my move. Secondly, I don't know if I crave closure from him, but I also don't want it decide to decline to only later regret my decision.

So I turn to the internet. What should I think about before reaching a decision? Would I be wise to decline or should I humor him and listen to his reasons? Then about two weeks later, OP posted an update. At first, I decided to not respond to his reasons. Then, about two weeks later, OP posted an update. At first, I decided to not respond to his message. A day after, however, I received another message from him. To sum it up, he apologized for how disingenuous his initial message was,

and he explained why he had reached out to me. Essentially, he wanted to discuss that final week before the wedding that led up to him dipping out. Now I'll refrain from entirely delving into my ex's and eyes past, but my ex-Fiancé was diagnosed with PTSD with avoidant attributions from past experiences. His diagnosis did provide quite a bit of clarity looking back at our relationship and his past behavior, so I truly feel for him and his journey of self-healing. However, despite his struggles, I still told him that I couldn't forgive him for his

callous act of leaving me in a perpetual state of limbo for three months, unsure of why he'd abandoned me. He said that he understood. Now, some of you will be quite mad with me, but I ultimately agreed to meet him with lunch and I do not regret it. He's not currently with his ex. Actually, she passed away six months after he left me on the altar, which is part of the reason why she reached out to him in the first place. Since then, he's been working on himself through therapy and navigating single fatherhood. Yes, the child is his. The lunch wasn't too long, but it was all around cathartic on both sides. At the end of the lunch, he handed over an envelope which contained all the money that we spent preparing for the wedding. Honestly, I was dumbfounded. This was not

a gesture that I was expecting on his behalf, and I think that he was taken aback when I returned the ring that he gave me. It's funny, I held onto that ring just in case I needed to sell it if my finances continue to be unstable, but I never had to. It's ironic that in the end, I did receive money while seemingly trading in that ring. He looks better, and not to tune my own horn, but I feel that I do as well. Now that that chapter has concluded, I no longer feel rage or remorse. I feel free. I feared that I might have still harbored feelings for him, but I have since found that I loved him for the man that he was when we were together,

and though we're now apart, I'm okay with looking back at acknowledging the love that I had for him. I've closed that chapter now, with him, and with the woman that I was with him. Thank you all so much. Any advice on what I should spend the money on now? Ha ha. Well, I guess all's well that ends well, and you know, abandoning your fiancé on the altar is just awful, it's super terrible.

But I gotta say, doing it because you find out that you have a secret child is a fairly good reason? Not to abandon at the altar, that's too much, but to break off the engagement certainly. What I don't understand though, like the really unforgivable thing is, why did you have to keep you in limbo for three months? Even before the wedding, when he found out a week before the wedding, couldn't you just say, hey, look, I can't go through with this wedding, I just found out I have a kid. At the bare minimum, I have to go do a paternity test

to see if this kid is even mine. And if it is, I have to reevaluate things. But if it's not, I still want to get married to you. But if this makes you not want to get married to me, I totally understand. It's just, I can't get married to you right now. Instead, he just pretended everything was fine and then canceled the day of, which is awful.

Super embarrassing. What a life scarring event for OP. But OP, I'm glad you're doing better and I'm glad you got the closure and the healing that you needed. I almost want to feel sympathy for the guy because, God, I'm trying to put myself in the shoes of loving a woman, you want to get married to her, and then finding out all of a sudden, gosh, you have a kid, and the baby mom is about to die any day now. Ah, man, I can't even imagine the emotions I'm going to feel there. So while he definitely should have communicated with OP, I do understand that being very, like, traumatizing and him not acting in the most rational and

appropriate way, because, man, how do you react in that situation? Our next reddit post comes from our slash legal advice. I'm the owner of a two-story house. I had gone to Hawaii last week for a one-week vacation with my wife. Our next reddit post comes from our slash legal advice. I'm the owner of a two story house. I had gone to Hawaii last week for a one week vacation with my wife. No one was at home and it wasn't feasible for us to take our dogs with us, so I gave my keys to a good friend of mine and asked him to take care of my two dogs. This would involve feeding them, giving them water, and taking them on one hour daily

walks. So my friend's girlfriend was in town, and she had no place to stay. He lives in a one bedroom condo with two other roommates. So he messaged me and asked me if I would allow his girlfriend to stay at my home for just one night. I agreed because it was just one night. Now yesterday I came back and found out that his girlfriend has permanently moved in to the upper floor of my house.

She's been staying there for four days. I asked her to leave immediately, but she and my friends are insisting that I let her stay one more week because she's searching for a job in the area. I called the cops. They came and said that this would be a civil matter, and I have to go through with the eviction process. So here I am with an unwanted stranger in the upper floor, a butthole of a friend who broke promises

and a pissed off wife. What do I do, guys? Can I change the locks and throw a stuff away when she's out, cut the electricity to the upper floor? Then one day later, O.P. Posts an update. So after reading all the advice here and carefully discussing this matter with my cousin, we made a nasty plan.

Yesterday night, that squatter girl went outside to grab some dinner with her boyfriend. Me and my cousin carefully packed all of her stuff in her three bags, left it on our front porch, and locked ourselves in the house. We also watched over her stuff from our windows to make sure that no one stole it. Two hours later, the girl returned. She figured it out pretty quickly and started pounding at our door, yelling loudly to open the door, you know, typical squadder drama. We told her to f off and that we won't open the door. So finally, after 30 minutes of constant drama, she dared to call the cops. I was nervous about how it

would turn out. The cops arrived. And fortunately, these were different from ones the previous night. First, the cops listened to her side. Then they came to me. I explicitly told the cops that I was a sole owner of the house, and I never allowed this girl to stay more than one night. She was not only trespassing, but also living in my house illegally without my permission. This B word kept saying that I'd given permission to stay there indefinitely and now I was kicking her out.

The officer asked her if she had any proof of that. She claimed that she had some messages which accidentally got deleted. Now the best part. The officer asked her for her ID and she gave her ID. The officer verified her ID over radio. Suddenly, the person on the radio told the cop that this B word had a failure to appear warrant for a months old shoplifting case. This stupid lady was arrested immediately.

Her stuff was sent to a friend's house. The officer said that I don't need to worry and they'll take care of her. I don't require any further action. So finally I'm relieved from that squatter and this B word is behind bars. What a justice boner. All's welded in as well. Alright, okay. I can kind of understand being a squatter if you live in an apartment because then you've

got a lease, you've got emails back and forth with the landlord. So there's some precedent that you live there. So squatting then makes sense. But this lady doesn't have a lease, she doesn't have emails, she doesn't have text messages, she has no verification that she can stay there for more than one night. So I don't want to sound like a psychopath here, I don't want to sound like a violent crazy person. But what's stopping OP from just shooting her?

What's stopping OP from just beating her up and then throwing her outside? And then the one that cops you up and they're like, yo, we're gonna arrest you because you beat this woman. What's stopping OP from just saying, no, it's self-defense. She broken into my home.

She doesn't live here. She's not a tenant. She's a home intruder. She's literally a home intruder and I was defending my property You know, I'm not advocating that he do that because that's really extremely violent It's just does this not cross this lady's mind at all. She she's a home and she's not even a squatter. She's a home intruder I don't know man. It kind of seems like she's playing with fire there, especially this is in Texas, Florida You know a state with more lacks gun laws.

Okay, Max, we have a new spot for Sunwing vacations. Okay, Sunwing Cyber Monday deals up to 40% off. Hang on, I think we got the wrong script. Yeah, it's 40% off, what's the issue? 40% off Cyber Monday vacation deals? Yes, why do you keep repeating me 40% off? Huh, just think about what you could do with all those savings. I know. In fact, it's in the scripts.

When you save more, you can do more. For daily door crashing deals, visit your local travel agent, or... ...Movement to you! So you think you know sports? Points vet is the sportsbook for you, because we've got the features for true competitors. Like live, same- game parlates. Use your sportsmarts to make picks live on the players and teams you're watching.

And qualified bets can use our early cashout feature. So you could take your winnings to play live blackjack on the same points bet app. The platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do. Bet on it. Point spets sportsbook and Casino. Our next Reddit post comes from R-slash Today I F'd Up. Today I F'd Up by not knowing that the guy I like

works on the same floor as me. I'm a 19 year old woman and he's a 21 year old guy. It all started when a teaching assistant for one of my classes got sick and they got someone else to fill in for a lecture. The guy they got to fill in was a fumbling mess, but damn it, he was also so cute! I did some light stalking afterward and found out that he has a blog, and it was one of the most wholesome and funny things I've read in a while.

He's a total nerd, which is very attractive, and I am so into that! One time I was studying in the library and saw that he took a seat near mine, so I struck up a conversation with them and it went so great! We talked for hours and I got no work done. Anyway, I work in a research lab on campus part-time. This past week, my principal investigator was still out on vacation, but my mentor head full access to the lab, so I was free to do experiments unbothered.

One of my close friends also works in the same lab as me, so we've been having a blast just hanging out in a basically empty lab. It was about 4pm yesterday when we decided to go out into a hallway to just chill for a bed and eat some snacks. One of the doors to another lab that we were standing close to was open, but we didn't think too much about it since the entire floor was really deserted. We were talking about this guy she's seeing when she asked me if anything new happened between me and that awkward dude who guessed lectured. I told her about what happened in the library and she started drilling me. We were micro analyzing what happened like, I feel like

at least one time his eyes dropped down to my lips. Or did he stare at you for longer than 5.7 seconds? Because if he did, he for sure wants to passionately hug you. It was all just for fun. Then me being the crass unfiltered person I am, when I said, I would even let him do me in the butt if he wanted to, and we both burst out in laughter. Disclaimer, I was kidding. Then out of nowhere, I hear footsteps coming out of the open door next to me, and both me and my friend whiff around to look. Low and behold, to my terror, the guy I like walks out of the door, gives us a barely

concealed shocked look and says, hey, you guys might want to keep it down a little bit. Then he winks at me and goes back inside but leaves the door open. I gave my friend the most mortified look and she melts. Oh my god, that's him! I straight up bolt down the hallway and flee down the stairs with my friend chasing behind me until I reach outside the building where I promptly collapse on a bench. My friend comforted me amidst many fits of laughter while I died slowly due to sheer embarrassment that I brought onto myself.

She searched up the name of the lab that has literally three doors down from ours, and sure enough, the guy is listed under our team. This guy doesn't have a LinkedIn or a Facebook statistic saying that he works there. I've never seen him in the hallways ever. Do I think he heard everything I said? Yes. Does his lack of any reaction worry me? Very much so. Do I want to dig a hole and bury myself into it? 100%.

Then, three months later, OP posts in an update. I didn't come back to the lab until Winter Break was over, hoping that the large influx of people would somehow prevent me from ever seeing him again. That did not happen. On my first day back, I was in the break room making some toast when this guy walks in. Oh no, I thought, knowing that a confrontation was probably inevitable, and that I thought to apologize for my crass comment. But instead, I frantically looked away and focused on putting peanut butter on my toast because if I do that, you can't see me, right? That didn't happen again. Instead, he came up right next to me, smiled and said, hey OP, how was your break? I looked up awkwardly

and told him it was fine. Mainly, I just stayed on campus and worked at the lab. He told me that he basically did the same, but he went to see his family for a couple of days. He didn't bring up what happened either. Thank God! Then, he said something along the lines of, is that all you're having for lunch? And I was like, um, yeah, I was in a rush and I forgot to pack something. Then he said, oh, I was

gonna go grab something to eat at such and such place you wanna come with. I was like, oh, that smooth bastard. I tried not reading into it and brush it off as him being nice so I said sure and we went. Well, we ended up having a great lunch. And evidently, as we were on our way back, he finally made a crack and was like, so tell me, after our lunch today, how many seconds do you think I spent staring at you? I literally just looked at him blankly with my jaw dropped before he chuckled out. It has to be a lot longer than six seconds at a time, right? That has to mean I like you.

Even with my shock, I managed to laugh and make a wise crack back at him. Well, tomorrow is our one month anniversary, and we have not done the butt stuff. He told me after a couple of weeks that although he appreciated my comment, he is not into that. Looks like I'll be retaining my butt virginity, and I manage to get a super cute, intelligent, and kind boyfriend out of this whole ordeal. O.P., this post is super wholesome.

InfoSys on the word, whole. That was our slash best of redditor updates, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.