rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars BUY MY THONG FOR $1000!

Episode Date: November 20, 2020

r/Choosingbeggars Gentlemen, are you ready for the deal of a lifetime! This bride wants you to pay for her expensive wedding, so she's created an exclusive donation tier package! For the low price of $1,000, you can purchase her bridal thong! And great news: there are even more expensive tiers than that! What other fantastic awards can this woman possibly offer? If you like this video, subscribe for more daily Reddit content. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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on the same points vet app, the platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do. Bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-read it. Today's sub-read it is R-Slash Choosing Beggars where a Choosing Beggar gets upset because OP didn't sell her a magical sword.

On this next post, OP is selling her fridge. Will you take $60? No. F you then. Crime a river. No thank you. Girl, at least I don't have to draw in my eyebrows, the F. At least I have a fridge. Much like the refrigerator that this choosing beggar can't afford to buy, that's cold. For context on this next post, OP is asking for someone to build them video game assets, not an actual taco shop. Job posting, hiring a voluntary builder and scripter.

The job, I need to build her with experience to help build a taco shop. I also need a scripter to script UIs, drink machines, menus, hand-to-systems, etc. This job is voluntary, which means no pay whatsoever. Requirements must have discord, must be 13 years or older, must have three years of work experience, must work fast, must understand the job is voluntary, no free models allowed, must be 13 years old and have three years of experience? Dude, what? My wife and I have had two kids leave the nest recently, giving us an extra room. In March, both my sister-in-law and my sister-in-law's useless boyfriend, both in their forties, lost

their jobs due to the pandemic. In April, my wife asked me if they could come live with us rent-free until they got back on their feet. Family helps family, so I agreed. Since moving in, my sister-in-law has been great. She pitches in and is taken over cooking and cleaning while driving for Uber and looking for a full-time job. Our kids get time with her aunt and even as teenagers they like to spend time with her. My wife is happy because she gets a

little more free time and since her and her sister-in-law share hobbies they have a great time together. So smiles all around, right? Well, not so fast. Curiously, boyfriend takes self-quarantining so seriously that he rarely leaves the bedroom in his gaming PC. And our mid-level internet just isn't up to the task when other people in the house fire up Netflix, Hulu, and Xboxes. A couple of times a day, we can hear him yell from his room, Can somebody get off the internet? Lately, our other kids have been firing up other devices and streaming more videos

out of spite when he does this. Not that they watched their father do this and thought it was funny, mind you. I offered to upgrade to faster internet if he paid the difference, but he balked at that idea. It isn't his internet, so why should he pay? Besides, we can afford it. He's right. We could afford to upgrade our internet plan, but at this point my wife and I are refusing on principle. And our kids are actually asking to downgrade to the lowest plan. That's right, our teenagers

want slower internet because of this guy. His suffering doesn't end there. It seems we're not buying enough organic food and we're shopping at Costco and our local supermarket chain instead of buying a farm share from a certified organic farm. We're still, our food contains gluten. Note that there's no underlying medical reason for his objection which we would understand. He just doesn't want gluten. But his suffering still isn't over. We ask him to smoke outside. Pod is legal in our state, and while I don't have any objections to it, my wife is sensitive to smoke.

Our older kid smoked outside with no complaints, and I see no reason why he deserves special treatment. And, of course, he isn't looking for a job because he prefers to live off of benefits. He knows a cutoff is coming, but he would rather wait to see if more benefits are coming. I feel bad for my sister-in-law. She's always apologizing for his behavior. My wife and I are silent on the matter, but our teenagers have been telling her how she could do so much better. I had to tell our oldest to stop calling him cautionary tail in front of my sister-in-law, but I give my kid a silent high five every time. Man, this guy, if you can afford weed, you can afford faster internet. With you, 2 out of 5 stars.

Well, I lied. The hotel was just beautiful. However, after visiting 6 times over the years, I find out that now that my family has grown, they charge for my 19 and 22 year old kids. This is the dumbest thing ever as their adult kids and they don't even want to be there since they use none of the facilities. They're out golfing, shopping, exploring and hiking. They're not even occupying space in the facility, only in the room. With this discrimination, I feel it would be better

to take your family to another resort unless you have little ones. I used to tell people that this hotel was great for all ages. Well, I lied. Sorry. Hello, members of my upcoming wedding in winter 2020. I hope y'all are doing great and getting all of your wedding gifts prepared. Your cold, hard cash, and your large housewarming gifts for my fiancee and I. We really cannot wait to see you all and receive your gifts this December. In all seriousness, we're asking our guests not to change their attendance because of COVID. We've had a handful of guests decide not to attend our wedding because of COVID fears. This is dangerous because we have a $20,000 monetary goal minimum. Ladies and gentlemen, most of this money will help cover the cost of this amazing wedding

and goes right back to you. This wedding is for you. Think of all the food, drinks, and fun you'll have. Heaven forbid, if y'all are generous, we'll actually get to book our European tour. Ideally, y'all will donate upwards of $30,000 so my fiance and I can spend a month traveling, bar hopping, swinging, and more in Europe. Please have a bit of sympathy for my fiance and I, because COVID and it's nonsense has actually added depression into our lives. So we really need y'all to open your wallet and just give a little bit. As a bit of a motivator, we've decided on

some guest givinggiving tiers. Zero to a thousand dollar donation. I thank you card with my Kiss Stain Signature. One thousand to fifteen hundred dollar donation. I thank you card with my Kiss Stain Signature. My... My Wedding Thong mailed separately. What?

Fifteen hundred to twenty five hundred dollar donation. A night with my fiancee and I, a bottle of barefoot wine and lint chocolate's fed to you. $2500 to $3500 donation, a party thrown with just us and a ceremony of appreciation. $18 plus. $3500 to $5,000. An invitation to join my fiance and I on part of our honeymoon, but you'll sleep on the couch. $5,000 to $6,500. The ultimate prize we can get away with my fiance

and I where we drown you in affection and spoil you. This post is so confusing on so many levels. When she's talking about mailing people the wedding thong, does that mean she's giving people the actual thong that she was wearing during the wedding? What if multiple people give this tear? Does that mean she's gonna swap out her underwear midway through the ceremony multiple times so she can mail it out to multiple people? Or do they just have one thong and they send it to one guy and he just enjoys it for a while and then he mails it to the next guy in the list and it's his turn to enjoy it. This doesn't make any sense. This episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking.

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Is it secure? Are you sure? Are you sure you're sure? Get answers you can trust from Salesforce at AskMoreVai.com. night and get a full refund. Thank you. Hello, Daniela. Can you please tell me what exactly is wrong with the knife? I just want to know what we did wrong. You did nothing wrong. The blade is gorgeous and the quality is beyond my expectations. But you see, for me, it's crucial that the objects that I bring to my home have the

right energy. I'm a spiritual and healing coach, and I have a very strong connection to the energy flows around me since it's my job to redirect them in the right way. And that's the problem here. I'm a bit confused, the Niphy cent has the wrong energy. If only your blade had a wrong or polluted energy, that wouldn't be a problem. I would bring back its balance. But it has no energy at all.

You sent me a dead object, a shell without a soul. So what about a refund? Hello, I contacted PayPal and Etsy to learn their policy about making refunds for items with bad energy or no energy at all. Are you mocking me? I'm dead serious. This lady is looking for a blade with a soul? To my knowledge, the only blade that I can think of that has a soul is Frostborn, Ebden Blade of the Lich King! All my World of Warcraft players out there know what I'm talking about.

Selling a two-bit room one bathroom house. Good evening. Is this available? Yes, it is. Please leave me alone. We're sleeping. No more contacting, please. Thanks. Appreciate. You contacted me. I know. I'm no longer interested. Please stop contacting me now. I will contact the Attorney General if you don't stop. Thanks.

And down in the comments, we have this reply from Andre 3 million. Hey Attorney General, it's me again. Yeah, just letting you know that someone was bothering me while trying to sleep. And then the Attorney General says, I told you not to contact me again, I'm trying to sleep. Giving away free extra cedar wood and maybe a few pieces of pine, about seven pieces, must be able to pick up and must be thankful. I would also like one small favor in return. I'd like the person who picks this up to make me an oil shell that I'm in turn going to give to one of my young living members. Within a month would be ideal. Thank you. Young Living is an MLM pyramid scheme company that sells essential oils, so I want to tell you what's really going on with this post. OP has trash shading in her backyard and she

expects someone else to clean up the trash. And in exchange for this favor, she wants that person to make them a free shelf. Then she plans to give this oil rack to one of her clients so that client will want to buy even more essential oils from her. So this person is trying to look like she's double charitable, but actually she's a double scammer. She's trying to get free labor from a woodworker and she's trying to pressure one of her clients to buy even more oils. In this next post, Opie's a guy in his late 20s who has never had a job or relationship. These are the requirements that he posts online for his potential partner. One, I have no long-term debt and no I am not paying yours if you do, but I don't care if you have

any debt. Two, obviously not applicable here yet. 3. No kids. Don't want them at all. Never nope. 4. Technically 5. You must have an undetermined flexible and unpredictable career timeline. He must be willing to relocate anywhere and you must be okay with whatever I decide. I will always put money before people no matter who it is.

6. You must be non-religious. I prefer sensible people who aren't religious and are very progressive. money before people no matter who it is. 6. You must be non-religious. I prefer sensible people who aren't religious and are very progressive. I'm talking like the communism in the spectrum. 7. I have anger management issues, so as long as you don't cheat on me or mess with me, I won't punch holes in walls.

I'm very difficult to piss off, so if you succeed, you win above and beyond to do so, and you knew you had it coming. Then for some reason, OP skips number 8. 9. Where would you like? Just don't drastically change your appearance unless I like the change. Ask first. 10. I am very, very kinky, and very adventurous and bad, and I prefer you to be, too. 11. No splitting bills. All money is kept separate. You must sign a pre-numptial agreement that says that all belongings go to me.

12. I prefer young girls. 18 or 19. 13. No hugs except for family. No kisses on the lips except family. And certainly no romantic clothes says with anyone else but me. No hanging out with they just're just a friend alone.

14, I'm not cheating so you may look through my phone, but you're not getting my passwords because I don't want my accounts tampered with. We definitely should post about our relationship because it's fun. 15, I don't care if you're rich or poor as we won't be merging money anyways, as long as you're attractive and meet all my other criteria. Then OP skipped 16 and 17 for some reason. 18, not interested in funeral talk, let's leave that until we're 70. 19, the happily ever after mindset is possible, but it's like winning the lottery.

Jobless, broke, anger issues, and the dude can't even count. Ladies, calm yourselves. Unfortunately, only one of you's gonna be lucky enough to get this fine specimen of a man. Could you send me a resume to blank that includes your work experience as an editor? Thanks. No, but you can hire me and see my performance since there's a 90-day probation phase. The application process is part of that 90-day probation phase. And if you can't follow simple instructions, I'm not sure this will work.

I submitted so many resumes and I'm not going to submit no more. I know my performance and you guys are losing out if you don't hire me. Did this guy just apply to an editing job using a double negative? Well, gosh, I wonder why this complete 80-odd head has sent out so many resumes. And down in the comments, we have this story from Walnuts. Blow, I had a guy respond to our ad about a position being available in the floor team at one of our warehouses. No hello, no name, no resume.

The hours were 8 to five Monday through Friday. The guy just said, I'm available 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Wednesday's unavailable. Call me. And he left. And he left no number. Selling a Yeti cooler. Let's try this again.

I don't have the basket. No, I won't take less than $225. Yes, it has stains. It's a freaking cooler. It keeps things cold like it should. It's not winning any beauty contest. No, I won't meet you 50 miles from my house. It's not my problem where you live. You can adjust the search radius on your search so you don't have to use the, I didn't realize how far away you are, excuse. If you plan on wasting my time, please don't message me. I get that the whole point of this post is that OP is sick and tired of all the choosing

beggars messaging him, but who's gonna buy a used cooler for $225? Hi, I'm currently looking for a babysitter to watch my kids in my home. My girls are 6 and 1 years old. My 6 year old will be starting in public school very soon, so basically the baby will be the only one needing care. The job is Sunday through Thursday. I'm off Friday and Saturday every week. I'm paying the normal rate of 10 bucks a day. If you're interested, please feel free to let me know.

Things in advance! Here's a pro tip for you. Don't hand over your 6 year old daughter and infant baby to someone who's willing to work for $10 a day. On this next post, OP is a cake baker. I am one of your biggest fans, so I hope you don't hate me for saying this. Even with 20% off, your cakes are $50. Shipping is $15, so $65 for some cake is a bit ridiculous. I've been to some fancy places before, but cake is basically flour, sugar, eggs, etc. shaking my head. Thanks for commenting

and following. With all due respect, no one goes to the BMW dealership and complains that their prices are too high. Just because their prices are too high for you doesn't mean that they need to lower them. Here's just not their ideal client match, and that's okay. My pricing is usually based on my value, not a person's budget. Again, I appreciate you following. Well, choosing beggar, if a cake is just a couple of symbol ingredients like flour, sugar, and eggs, then bake your own cake. That was our slash-tusing beggars, and if you like this content, then check out my Patreon where I publish episodes that were banned from YouTube. Also, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every

single day.