rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance I Worked 2 Minutes and Made $18,000
Episode Date: November 8, 20230:00 Intro 0:10 Pay day 3:10 Meal plan 7:07 Last day 9:55 ID 12:25 Sick note Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This holiday season, let's swish Shall A to the cooking so you can enjoy spending time
with those you love.
Their iconic festive special includes the famous Quarter Chicken Dinner.
Now with cranberry sauce, stuffing, lindor chocolates, plus a scratch and wind card, where
everyone's a winner.
Grab your loved ones and hurry to swish Shall A today.
Visit swishshall A dot C A for contest details, Well, supplies last. tell you that 85% of Canadians prefer supporting local business on a .ca over a .com.
Then .ca it is. Now repeat after me.
Oh, we'll work on that friend. Go local. Choose success. Choose .ca.
Welcome to our slash malicious compliance where OP gets a fat $18,000 payday for just three days
of work. Our next reddit post is from Eric Astrada.
I'm a contractor at a big bank in New York City.
I don't get any benefits, but I'm paid by the hour.
I like the people I work for, and I realize I get paid well.
So I try to make sure they get their money's worth.
For context, my normal manager was off on vacation, so I had a substitute manager.
On the Friday before a 3-day weekend, I was told by one of the managers that one of my
applications was malfunctioning in production and that it absolutely needed to be fixed
pronto.
This application was tested to a crazy degree, so the first thing I did was call up the
server administrator and ask what was different between our test and the production systems.
After poking around a bit, I think I find the issue. The administrator, a friend of mine, tells me that she can't make that
change without her manager's approval. He's kind of a know-it-all type of guy. Fine, I tell my
manager what I think the problem is, assuming that he'll go to bat for me, but instead he tells me,
stay as long as it takes, including giving up your weekend to ensure that it's
working.
Long story short, that know-it-all manager proceeds to make my and his two employees' lives
miserable all weekend.
I keep suggesting the problem that I think is causing the issues, and he keeps telling
me, there's no way that's it, and suggest dumb strategy after dumb strategy.
I keep telling my manager what's happening and he keeps telling
me to work it out and stay as long as I need to.
Finally, late one day my friend says, I'm just gonna try your fix without telling him.
And surprise, it fixes the problem. It took less than two minutes. When my manager got back
from vacation last week, he called me over to his desk. He had just gotten the bill from the contracting firm, and he seemed pissed.
I had billed for 3 extra 8 hour days.
He said, I just have one question.
Where'd you sleep?
On the couch in the waiting room.
Okay, thanks.
Earlier today, my normal manager came over with an envelope, and when he handed it to me,
he said, I would tell you to think Mr. Know It All manager for this, but since I came out of their
budgets, maybe best not to. Don't spend it all in one place. The envelope he gave me was a check
for my regular pay, plus almost $18,000. My manager had to drain their budgets to pay me for
forcing me to work over time three
days on the weekends.
When I later told my manager that I felt bad, he said, you shouldn't.
You taught them a very valuable lesson in server technology that they obviously missed.
Did I mention that my manager used to be a programmer himself? Geez OP 18k over three days. So that's 6k per day 6,000 divided by 8 hours of work is
750 dollars per hour wait hold on if over time is typically time and a half does that mean OPs normal rate is
$500 OP. Do you make 500 bucks an hour? My God! Our next reddit post is from Rotom Roomba.
This happened my freshman year of college about 20 years ago.
My university had just invested in a big new dining hall, and to help pay for their investment
required all students to buy a 150 meal plan both semesters.
This was a big financial burden being from a lower middle class family, but my parents
pulled funds to help me out and make it happen.
Shortly into my first semester, I found out from friends that the meals you didn't use don't roll over.
Since I lived off campus, I knew that I wouldn't be able to use them all.
As I was heading into November, I realized that I would end up with 60 to 75 meals left over.
And I complained about this a lot to family and friends
because it seemed like such a waste.
In comes the plan.
My freshman year of college was also my cousin's senior year
and we hung out pretty often.
He was the biggest trickster slash prankster type
you ever met.
One night while we were drinking, he says,
what if you brought a bunch of homeless people
to use up your meals?
How much would that piss off those righteous bastards?
We laughed about the idea all night,
but the more I thought about the idea,
the more I really started to like it.
We talked all weekend about it and hatched a plan.
On Monday morning, we went down to the local Salvation Army around the corner.
I've grown to really despise this organization,
but in the early 2000s in small town USA, it's
all that we had.
We told the lady at the desk that I would like to feed people in need with my meal plan.
She was hesitant at first, but she said that she was working with people that this would
be a huge blessing too, especially during the holiday season.
She helped me organize two days the following week where around 30 people
would meet me to eat at the dining hall. I would wear a certain hat so they could find
me and we'd all go eat. The day finally arrived and all kinds of people were there.
There were homeless people in tattered clothes. There were families with kids that seemed
excited to eat out. There was even one family I'll always remember that seemed embarrassed
to take a hand out,
but I made an effort to talk to everybody and make them all feel welcomed.
At noon we went to the dining hall. I walked up to the lady at the entrance and said,
these people are with me, they're my friends. I'd like to swipe them in. She looked confused,
but reluctantly said okay. To say that we got every reaction humanly possible would be an understatement.
There were staff members that were obviously annoyed with the influx of diners.
There were students who were laughing.
There were students that were giving me a silent clap.
There were snobbish faculty members that seemed to be disgusted at the type of people coming into the dining hall.
I didn't care at all. Eventually, a head staff member came up to me and said they knew what I was doing and
they didn't like it.
I said, these are my friends and they're eating with me.
I paid for these meals, am I doing anything wrong?
But she was stumped.
The next day, the same situation happened with the same reactions.
It seemed that I'd caused quite a stir on campus, and it just so happened that the university president
was eating there that day.
She came up to me and said, even though she would ask
that I not tell my friends to do the same thing
with their meals because the staff couldn't handle
the influx of diners, she was proud that her students
had the heart to do something for others like that.
The following semester, I did the exact same thing.
I even used my meals sparingly so I could bring more people.
The one memory that will always stick out in my head is the family with the little kids
who were so excited to go to the pizza bar and soft serve ice cream machine giggling the
whole time.
To this day, it's still one of the proudest moments of my life.
Me and my friends and family still have a drink and chuckle over the story and the snooty
angry reactions I got.
And as a quick public service announcement, there's an app called Share Meals, which does
this exact thing, so if you're a college student who has excess meals, you can use the app
to find people who need those meals.
Our next reddit post is from Noctnerce.
A few years back, I worked on a relief crew on
a drilling rig. The rig ran 24 hours a day with three shifts. The crew worked six days and then had
two days off. My crew would replace a working crew so they could have their two days off and we
worked morning two days, then afternoons and then nights. It was common to find someone who would
cover your shift if you wanted an extra day off, but the replacement had to have the same abilities as you.
A crew had to have a driller, a derrick hand, a motor man, a chain hand, and a floor hand.
People started as a floor hand, and as they learned, they would work their way up to more
responsibility and more pay.
Sometimes, when someone changed companies, they might take a lower position, so it was
common to have someone with derrickcan capabilities working motor or chain.
In September, my wife asked about my chances of taking off time for Christmas.
I checked the calendar, and my days off fell on December 24th and 25th.
Done deal!
I have it scheduled off.
Then I decided to sweeten the pots.
I found a guy who would work December 22nd and 23rd for me.
I also found another guy who would work the 26th and the 27th. With six stays off,
I could drive 400 miles to visit families, so thanks for looking pretty sweet.
Two sweet. The other guys on my crew were in the same position, so they all tried to find
replacements and two were successful. Unfortunately, the driller only had three guys on the rig who would work for him and none of them wanted to help.
He got mad and said that since he couldn't get the time off, then none of us could get time off.
I reminded him that he had already approved the schedule and he said that change was canceled and if I didn't work on the 23rd then I'd be fired.
I told him, fine, I'll work the 23rd then I'd be fired. I told them fine, I'll
work the 23rd but that'll be my last day of work. Consider this my three months notice.
At work nothing much was said over the next few weeks. Outside of work I was networking
and I found another job that I could start the first week of January. Everything was
set. At the end of my shift on the 23rd I emptied my work locker and said my goodbyes.
The driller barely acknowledged me.
I went home and drove out to see the family the next day.
I spent a week relaxing there
and then came back to start my new job.
Around the end of January,
I went to a friend's birthday party.
There, I saw one of my old crew.
He asked me when I was going to come back to work.
Apparently, the driller
thought that I was just soaking around and I'd come crawling back soon. He never hired
a replacement and they had been working shorthanded for over a month. I said that he better hire
somebody. I wasn't playing games and when I say I quit, I mean it.
So this guy didn't want to cover you for two days and as a result had to cover you for one month, what a doofus!
Our next Reddit post is from Abe Tuhanu.
I work as a cashier at a commissary, which is a military grocery store.
The way that we handle proof of membership is by scanning the customer's ID card at the cash register.
We have the ability to bypass this for workers who aren't in the military, but only for items that'll be consumed on site.
On a slow day, I decided to go on my scheduled break a few minutes late, because most of our
cashiers were out on break already.
After that, I closed up and turned in my till.
Apparently, the lady in the cash office didn't like this, because she started to mutter
about us taking breaks whenever we liked.
Now, I'd like to point out that not only did we have six cash years just come back from break,
but we only had like three customers in the past hour. Additionally, if we didn't handle
breaks ourselves, then we would have to leave work early or accrue over time. And, Lord, help you,
if you got so much as a minute of overtime. Now, being the nice guy that I am,
I ask her if she wants
me to open my till back up. She then spends the next 5 minutes
ranting about how we just come to work to take breaks and that we don't follow directions.
Finally, she takes my till and I go on break. But she really pissed me off when she accused
me of lying during her rant. Still, there wasn't much that I could do. Or so I thought, come
the end of my shift, who should I see but that same cash office teller with a cart full
of groceries in my lane? I wait for her to unload all of her groceries before I ask her
for her ID. She says that she left her ID in the car and I should just bypass it. Since
she had just been scolding me about my lack's work ethic, I stand firm.
I never would have expected what happened next, but the memory still warms my shriveled heart.
She starts going through the five stages of grief.
I've chosen a few lines from each stage because they lasted an average of four minutes each.
First stage, denial.
Oh, you don't really need my ID, do you? Stop playing around. Second stage, denial. Oh, you don't really need my ID, do you?
Stop playing around.
Second stage, anger.
My husband serves in the military.
Of course I have my ID.
Who do you think I am?
Third stage, bargaining.
Please, I know you do this for other workers.
Just do it this once.
Fourth stage, depression.
Do I really have to walk all the way to my card to get my ID?
And finally, after 20 minutes of me alternatively ignoring her and citing policy, she reaches
the last stage, acceptance, and begins loading her groceries back into her cart.
Our next reddit post is from Lulu Ginger Spice.
It's a tale as old as capitalism.
My job, which to be fair, I freaking adore working at, and I'm so grateful for and happy
at, requires a doctor's note because I've been sick and working from home for two days.
Now I haven't just had a minor cold or a flu.
Several days ago, I came down with the worst cold and flu symptoms you can imagine, and
then things started going downhill from there.
It got to the point where I've now been to the emergency room two days in a row because
of tonsillitis and excruciating pain brought on by swallowing tiny sips of water.
It is not great.
And despite a whole battery of swabs and tests, the doctors don't know what the underlying
bacteria or virus causing these symptoms is.
Obviously, there's no way in hell I want to infect
my co-workers with this plague.
So I told HR that I'd be working from home
until I'm feeling better,
since my job can be done 100% remotely.
They hit me back with the ever-famous.
If you need to work from home for more than two days a week,
you'll need a doctor's note since it's against policy.
My first instinct was to just go into work, looking, sounding, and feeling like death warmed
up.
But, ay, I didn't want to infect my colleagues, and, b, I legitimately believed that I would
pass out on my walk to work, and I would have to be taken to the hospital yet again.
Instead, I spoke to the emergency room doctor from earlier this evening.
I asked him how long he thought that I should work from home, and I told him that I needed a note
so I could stay home. His expression had a brief flash of being vaguely furious. It was this look of
what the f? Clearly, he was upset that my job would force someone as sick as I am to come and
arrest the health of those around me. Then he assured me that he would write the notes.
I was thinking that it would just be a basic.
OP should continue to work from home until the end of the week.
Nah, bro came through for me.
He wrote a note saying that I should be off of work for at minimum another week.
Then added this line.
Infectious diseases require more time than two days to improve.
Man, OP, you're still being too nice.
You shouldn't be working from home, you should just be not working at home.
That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow
my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.
Thank you.