rSlash - r/Relationships My Wife Cheated on Our 10 Year Anniversary

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:10 Cheater 5:41 Divorce 11:02 Gifted in the bedroom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:22 Gambling problem, call 1-866-531-2600, or visit connectsontario.c. Please play responsibly. Welcome to our slash relationships, where OP catches his wife cheating on him on their 10 year wedding anniversary. Our next Reddit post is from Why Do I Deserve This? My wife cheated on our 10 year anniversary.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Me and my wife are both 35. We were married 10 years ago, yesterday. She's been working on a big project for the last few months. The last four weeks or so, she's been putting in extra time at work, staying late and going in early to finish up by the deadline. This is a career maker for her. I work in construction. With the rain we've had, we had crazy hours trying to make up the time that we missed. So, I work 12 hours on days that it's nice, sometimes a little longer. If it's raining when I get up, I don't go in. Sometimes we get sent home when the rain starts because it's too dangerous. In that case, I usually hit the gym for
Starting point is 00:01:19 an hour or two. On Thursday, we started work at 6am, and then, mid-morning, it starts raining hard. We all go home and I go to the gym as usual. I cut the workout short and hid downtown to see my wife, Megan, to give her flowers and make plans for dinner that night if possible. We haven't seen much of each other this week. I went to bed about 9pm, but she wasn't home. She called me earlier to tell me that she was working late, which isn't unusual for the past month. I stopped and got some flowers and went into her building at 12.30. I told
Starting point is 00:01:49 the receptionist that I got here later than I wanted and I asked her to put the flower on Megan's desk. She said, I don't think they went to lunch yet. Why not drop them off yourself? She buzzed the door to get back to the offices. The place was deserted. I went to her office and the door was closed. I always just walk in unless the receptionist tells me that she's in a meeting. I walk in and some guy is standing behind her nuzzling her neck and she's reaching back over his head. She's giggling in the way that she giggles. She was saying, we have to get this done. I'm gut punched. I slammed the flowers down, said happy
Starting point is 00:02:26 anniversary, and walked out. I didn't hear what she said. I just went past the receptionist, said goodbye, and left. I made it to the elevators and out the building, then my phone started ringing. I bawled my eyes out on the way home. I went to the garage, packed up my camping gear, and took off. I drove about 4 hours to a state park. I had no idea what to do. I just had to run. I hiked a trail that we've hiked in the past. I don't drink much, so I had no booze.
Starting point is 00:02:54 I just sat there thinking. Looking back, I'm glad that I was in a rush. Normally, I would bring my 45 caliber. We have black bears where we live, so I take my gun to scare them off, but they can get aggressive if they're hungry or if cubs are around. The way that I was feeling, I might have done something drastic that night. Megan was blowing up my phone so I turned it off. Later, when I turned my phone on, I saw that my good friend called. I called him back. He said that Megan called him to check on me and make sure that I didn't do anything stupid.
Starting point is 00:03:26 We talked a bit, I told him I had to think this through and we'd catch up on Friday. So while I'm thinking about this, I go over our marriage from the beginning to see what I missed. We come from completely opposite backgrounds. My grandfather raised me with my mom. He taught me about life. He had a little saying about everything. He told me that marriage would be the hardest job I ever had. You had to work on it every day.
Starting point is 00:03:49 God I miss him. We didn't have much. I heard my mom and grandpa have many discussions about bills. They worked hard, and my brother and I didn't want for anything. Megan was born into money. Not overly rich, but very comfortable. Went to a great college, always great clothes, new car, etc. Also, she is like 11 out of 10 beautiful. I would joke with her whenever she coughed that she got the silver spoon stuck in her throat. We met, hit it off, and started dating. I was dumbfounded how such a woman would ever date me. We dated for quite a while before she told me about her parents and her lifestyle. My friends called us the model couple because they thought that we were so good looking
Starting point is 00:04:31 we had to be models. She graduated, got her first job, and we planned on getting married. We decided that we would expose each other to our different lifestyles. I took her whitewater rafting, she took me to this symphony. I took her zip lining, she took me to an art opening. We agreed that we had to experience each other's interests. She was really enthusiastic about the more physical things we did. I kind of like the symphony and such.
Starting point is 00:04:54 I also own two tuxes now. Looking back, I don't see any red flags. She quit her first two jobs because all the men tried to get into her pants. She was paraded out in front for photo ops. She was invited to conferences when other noobies weren't. At a conference dinner, a partner tried to get her drunk, then tried to force himself into her room that night. She quit and on the next job the same thing happens so she quit again.
Starting point is 00:05:20 This third job had mostly women in the office so she had none of that same BS. She seemed happy. We seemed happy. So now, Friday, I'm back home. I called her to ask her where she was, and of course, she's back at work. Being in a smart-ass mood, I said that our marriage was taking a second place to her job. She responded saying, since I wouldn't talk, what was she supposed to do? Fair enough. She said that she'll be home in an hour, so I wait. I want to save our marriage. If I'm lacking as a provider, then I want to fix it. Alright, shout out to the receptionist.
Starting point is 00:05:55 I think she has OP's back. I think she knows exactly what's going on here, and she was delighted at the opportunity to spill the beans. Oh, I don't think that they've left for lunch yet, so why don't you go on back, sweetie, and take a look for yourself. Our next Reddit post is from Throwaway. Me and my wife have been married for three years. First, let me say that my wife is not struggling with any issues that I'm aware of, and we've
Starting point is 00:06:19 known each other since grade school. We literally know everything about each other and our families. About two months ago, I came home and found my wife and six-month-old daughter on the couch. My wife was asleep and my daughter was next to her. When I went in to greet them, I smelled my daughter. She needed a diaper change. I don't know how long it had been since her last diaper change. I took my daughter from the couch to go and change her diaper. I didn't want to wake up my wife because my wife doesn't sleep during the day, so I know that if I find my wife sleeping during the day or any time before 9pm, she had a hectic
Starting point is 00:06:52 day and is just drained. I walked into my daughter's room, placed her on the changing table and started to change her diaper. Not even two minutes later, my wife walked into the room as I greeted her. She looked at me, looked down at my daughter on the changing table, and went into a rage and started to attack me. I was stunned for a second, but then instinct kicked in, and I leaned over my daughter to protect her.
Starting point is 00:07:15 My wife was shouting while hitting me, how could I, how could I, over and over again, saying that I'm a monster? At the time, I had no idea what she was talking about. When I left that morning, everything was perfectly fine. She then ran out of the room and like five minutes later, three cops had me in handcuffs and my wife was going crazy that she caught me sexually assaulting my daughter. I was speechless at the time and I couldn't believe what she was saying. I asked her, what are you talking about? All she kept saying is that she saw me doing it. I was arrested and released the next day
Starting point is 00:07:49 when the cops had a look at the camera footage in my daughter's room, clearly showing that I was just changing her diaper and that nothing happened. There is no evidence to support my wife's claim, so she attacked me without provocation. I want a divorce because I can't believe that she would even think that I would do something like that. I haven't spoken to her since I got released,
Starting point is 00:08:10 and my phone has been blowing up with calls and texts with her apologies. I honestly don't care about that. The moment she told the cops that I sexually assaulted my daughter, it was like all the love I had for her just left me and all I could feel is avoid inside of me and nothing else. I had her served with divorce papers a week ago and now everyone from my family, her family and our friends are harassing me and trying to get us to go to counseling to sort this out. She can go to counseling if she wants to but I'm not going to be involved.
Starting point is 00:08:42 I'm going for full custody of my daughter. My lawyer has told me that I'll probably get full custody of my daughter due to my wife's violent outbursts on camera and that I had to shield her with my body, as well as the false claims laid against me, which is a note against her mental state. Everyone is saying that I'm taking things too far by divorcing her and trying to take my daughter from her. But nobody can give me a good reason as to why she did what she did. Of all the 374 messages she sent me, there's not one explanation, just constant apologies, and we can go to marriage counseling and individual counseling, but again, she can go by herself. I'm just worn down at the moment as the gravity of everything is hitting me. What should I do? Everyone is on her side. What am I missing?
Starting point is 00:09:30 Opie, I think you're on the right course here. So much about this story is just bizarre. First off, I gotta point out that she was asleep on the couch with a newborn, which is extremely dangerous because if you fall asleep while holding a baby, you could drop the baby and potentially kill it. And I don't really have to spend too much time talking about how these false allegations are terrible because these are quite possibly the single worst allegations you could probably make to a father. Is there anything worse?
Starting point is 00:09:58 Let me think for a second. No, that's literally the worst accusation anyone could ever make towards a man. But then if you actually try to think about it from her perspective, it doesn't even make sense. So let's suppose you walk into a room and you think that you see a family member molesting your six-month-old child. Wouldn't it make more sense to try to get the baby than it would be to attack the person? That would be my first response, right? To protect the child, not to try to beat up a man as a woman, like, what is that gonna do?
Starting point is 00:10:29 The way that she was responding to him, it almost seemed more like a fight, right? Like a couple fight than it was her actually truly believing that the sexual assault was happening. So the story just doesn't feel right to me. And then you've also got to consider that if she blew up at OP out of the blue and she has no explanation, what's stopping her from just doing it again and again
Starting point is 00:10:51 and again. So OP, not only are you doing the right thing, but you have an obligation, not only for your own safety, but also the safety of your daughter to GTFO, my friends. I almost wonder if OP's wife is insane. Like she has a tumor in her brain or she's became a schizophrenic or something because the way that she responded it just doesn't make any sense. And if it wasn't for the baby cam, would OP just be in jail for the next like 30 years? Getting stabbed to death in his jail cell because all of his other inmates think that he's a disgusting P word and she's like whoops Teehee my bad I'm Sawie. Our next Reddit post is from alarming monk.
Starting point is 00:11:32 I'm a 28 year old man and my fiance is 27. About a month ago I overheard my fiance teller friend that her previous ex-boyfriend was the best lover she ever had. It was quite by accident that I heard this. We had a group of friends over and as the night went on we all kind of busted out into little groups. Some of us were in one room playing Texas Holdum and a couple of others were watching a Lord of the Rings marathon. I thought she was watching the movies but she and one of her close friends were actually sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and talking. Our group had run out of soda, so I got up to go to the kitchen to get drinks and a couple
Starting point is 00:12:08 of snacks. As I'm rounding the corner, I hear my fiance talking, and before I completely come in the room, I hear her clearly say, Jason is great, but he will never be the lover that Bill was, and then she followed it up with. It's not really fair to Jason though. Bill was just really gifted down there. At first I thought about just walking back to the card game and pretending like we didn't have any more soda or food, but I decided to kind of make a noise and go in. Her friend caught sight of me rounding the corner,
Starting point is 00:12:40 and I could see her make a face to my fiance, letting her know that I was there. Of course, she has no idea that I heard her, and she just stopped talking to her and asked me how I was doing and if I was having fun. I was tempted to say something like, I'm having as much fun as someone who's not gifted down there can, but I didn't. I just said yes, and proceeded to get my stuff and go back and finish the night. I just acted like nothing was wrong the rest of the night and went to bed. Needless to say, it screwed me up. I mean screwed me up bad. I've never been jealous or insecure about myself until that moment. I couldn't sleep that night and I went through a myriad of emotions while laying there. At first I was angry. Then I was humiliated. Then I was depressed. Then I was angry again. I tried to hide any form of emotion about it or ever let her know, but as the days went on,
Starting point is 00:13:32 I just kept getting worse and worse. I was avoiding her at all costs, and while she was suspicious, she didn't say anything. That is, until she attempted to be intimate with me a few days later, and I flat out rejected her. This wasn't by a conscious decision on my part, by the way. I had made the decision on my own to just try and get it over with and move on, but in the moment, instead of being sexually aroused, I felt deeply inadequate and ashamed. Nothing was happening, no matter how much either of us tried.
Starting point is 00:14:03 She asked me what was wrong, and I just told her that I must have been stressed about work, but she didn't believe that or let it go. So, much to my humiliation, as I laid there, naked, and soft, I came clean and told her what I heard. Well, this did not go over well at all. At first, she tried to tell me that I didn't hear her correctly, but I just repeated to her verbatim what she told her friend. Well, once she couldn't deny it, she tried to apologize, and to her credit she tried to listen to my feelings on the matter, which once again I'm sure was more of a big turn off for her because I was a rec emotionally. She tried to tell me how much of a better person I was and how I satisfied her and she wanted nobody else. But all I could hear was the Charlie Brown teacher
Starting point is 00:14:50 noise. It's been almost a month and I have zero desire to be with her sexually. None. She's now getting frustrated about this as well, but no matter what I've tried, I just can't get past this. It's not like she said that me and her ex were both good lovers or anything like that. She clearly said that her ex was far superior and my guess is that being gifted down there means that he was significantly larger than me as well. Well, I know that I can do all kinds of things with my hands, tongue and whatever else, but no matter what I do, I can't grow in size. and whatever else, but no matter what I do, I can't grow in size. Obviously, she refuses to talk about that with me, saying that no matter what, it'll only make things worse, because even if she says something positive about me, I won't
Starting point is 00:15:33 believe her. She's most likely right. So for backstory, her ex-boyfriend dumped her. It was not a mutual breakup. He flat out dumped her and broke her heart. I know this because early on in our relationship she told me this. She said that she wasn't ready to be serious about anybody because her previous ex left her and emotionally broke her. So I'm not even able to say, well,
Starting point is 00:15:58 she's with me because she wants to be. If he hadn't dumped her, she would have never left him. So now I have no idea if after all these years she would leave me for him. But I don't think that she would. The one thing that I can't help but notice is missing from this post is OP is completely missing the point that his fiance was criticizing him to one of her friends. So yeah, secretly preferring her ex-boyfriend is bad enough, but why is she trash-talking OP? If she really wants to marry OP, why is she insulting him behind his back? Between those two factors combined, I just think there's no coming back from this. That was our Slash Relationships, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast
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