rSlash - r/Trueoffmychest HELP! My Sister Came Onto Me!

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:08 Sister 4:08 Last wish 11:39 Repayment 14:16 Comment 14:36 Open relationship Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to r slash true off my chest where OP sister wants to give him oral pleasure. Our next Reddit post is from Throwaway. My relationship with my sister was pretty normal up until about six months ago and we were actually really close. Our mom works a lot and always has so we were latchkey kids for almost all of our childhood and we get along like friends. She's the person in my family that I'm closest to. Six months ago she just completely fell apart. I'm certain something really traumatic happened
Starting point is 00:00:30 to her. My mom is hinted at it, but I figured that it's not my right to know if my sister doesn't want me to, so I haven't pressed for specifics. Although I have offered an ear and a shoulder countless times. But she's become like a completely different person. She was always really sociable and outgoing. Now she spends almost 100% of her time locked in her room and has for months. We still talk, and sometimes it almost feels like it used to, and I've always made sure that she knows that I'm here for support, but most of the time she stays locked in. There have been times where I haven't seen her face for a week at a time, despite being
Starting point is 00:01:07 right next door to her. She has a couple of friends that she sometimes talks to online, but I barely even hear her talking to them at all anymore either. This has all been extremely heartbreaking to me, and I feel like a failure as a brother, but I don't know how to help her. I am also fairly certain that she's addicted to adult videos. On multiple occasions, I've come home and heard adult videos playing from her room. When this happens, I'll make a lot of noise so she knows that I'm home, and almost
Starting point is 00:01:37 always it'll go quiet, but shortly after it'll start up again. I told her upfront once about this that I could hear her, and she just looked at me blankly, told me that she was sorry, that she didn't realize and she'll be more thoughtful about it. But it still happens and it didn't seem like she was actually embarrassed by it at all. Sometimes it goes on for hours! The sound doesn't carry to my room, but I can hear it from the hallway when I pass by. And there have been some times where I'll hear it from her room and then I pass by like four or five hours later and I still hear it. She let me borrow her laptop once for school and there were like 50 different tabs of adult videos open in the browser.
Starting point is 00:02:19 I've talked to my mom about all this because I find it really concerning. And my mom just told me that it's not my business and if I can't hear it from my room then I shouldn't be bothered. Frankly, I think that my mom doesn't care about this at all and honestly doesn't really care about either of us. Yesterday, my sister was hanging out in the living room with me which is a rare sight. She was being way more talkative than usual, which was great to see. We were even joking around, and it really felt like it used to. Then she made a sexual joke about
Starting point is 00:02:50 BJs, which wasn't really out of character, so I didn't think anything of it. Then she asked me if I've ever had one, and I just laughed it off and said that's none of her business. Then she asked me if I wanted one, and I told her she of her business. Then she asked me if I wanted one and I told her she was being gross. Then she started acting very weird, like nervous, and playing with her hands in a way that I haven't seen before. And she told me that she was serious, and basically just told me to come to her room if I wanted to, and then she ran upstairs. That was the last time I've spoken to or seen her. She's been locked up in a room since then.
Starting point is 00:03:27 I have no idea what to do. I'm shocked, but don't want to traumatize her further. I am angry that she would compromise our relationship as siblings to even bring something like this up. But mostly, I'm just concerned for her that she's in a headspace where proposing this seems like an acceptable idea. There has never been any inclination from her that she thought about me in any inappropriate way before. I'm convinced this came about as a result of her current depression and her adult videos addiction. OP, I really wish that I could give you meaningful advice here, but the only thing I can come up with is therapy. Your sister desperately needs therapy.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Our next Reddit post is from IntelligentSand. I'm a 30-year-old woman and my husband is 35. My husband's ex-girlfriend, who's 33, was recently diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer, and her last wish is to be with my husband. My husband, Seb, and his ex, Tanya, became best friends after their breakup a couple of years ago due to her infidelity. They were together for five years. Needless to say, they remained in contact even before you met me. I would be lying if I say that this never made me uncomfortable even once. It did, and it still does because Tanya is still in love with my husband. She never denied it and in fact
Starting point is 00:04:45 would even call or message me when she can't get a hold of him. Aside from her cancer, she also has some mental health issues. Thus, my husband would always tell me to be kind and patient. Seb is no longer in love with her, of course. She cheated on him and Seb swore that he would never get back with her and that he only sees her as family. Two weeks ago, my husband received a call from Tanya to tell him about the sad news. My husband cried with her and told her everything is going to be okay. They were on the phone the whole day. Also, I should mention that Seb and I moved to Australia a few months ago because of my
Starting point is 00:05:20 job and Tanya is still in Canada. They mostly talk via long-distance call or WhatsApp. They've been in contact almost every day since we left, which always bothers me but what can I do? After that call, my husband told me everything. To be honest, I felt bad for her and I genuinely feel sad. I asked him what's going to happen now and Seb told me that he's gonna go back to Canada, which was shocking. He then told me that her last wish is to be with him. I didn't say anything, except what about me? He said that if I can't leave my job, then he's going to visit me whenever he gets the chance. I walked out without saying anything. I've been avoiding my husband since
Starting point is 00:06:03 the phone call and I've been ignoring him whenever he tries to bring up the conversation. Yesterday, I found out that he already bought a ticket and he's flying back home in January. I feel like he's abandoning me, but at the same time, I feel that I'm selfish for hating both of them. I'm honestly thinking of getting a divorce, because obviously, he's choosing her over me. But at the same time, I thought of why my husband is so attached to her.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Seb considers Tanya and her family like his own, because he doesn't have one of his own. She's probably like a sister to him now. But Tanya doesn't feel the same. She's madly in love with my husband, and him granting her wish will surely make her think they still have a chance. My entire life I've been putting others first. I've been very patient and understanding about their weird relationship. I feel sick, confused.
Starting point is 00:06:55 I want to call her and yell at her for ruining my marriage, for trying to steal my husband from me, for using her sickness to get what she wants, for being a B word. I'm so mad at both of them. What did I do to deserve this? Then, one year later, OP posted an update. Seb did end up flying back to Canada January last year. Before he flew out, we talked about the situation, and I told him that I've been in contact with a divorce lawyer.
Starting point is 00:07:23 He was surprised. He said that he didn't expect me to leave him just because he needs to be with his family. I remember at the time all I felt was anger. I was so mad that he's making it sound like I'm the bad person. Nevertheless, the conversation did not end well. He left without any closure, but he said that he would be back in March. I was left alone. January to March last year were the darkest days of my life. I know that I did nothing wrong,
Starting point is 00:07:51 but I ended up blaming myself for everything. I hate to admit it, but I cancelled the meeting with my lawyer because I started to doubt if I really wanted to leave him or not. I love him so much to the point that I am willing to accept him again when he's back. During the time when he was gone, he rarely called to check on me. I had to call him most of the time. I know, I'm dumb. I feel so alone and sad. I begged for his attention to give me some of his time to be with me again. All that time, he kept telling me that Tanya needs him more. March, I was expecting him to come back so that we could talk, but he didn't come back. He said that he needs to stay more and he promised me that he'll be back in May. I don't know what happened to me when I got that call from him early March to tell me
Starting point is 00:08:38 that he won't be flying back to Australia. It was like there was a switch that suddenly turned off because somehow I just stopped caring. When he told me that he wouldn't be back until May, I knew that I would have to move forward without him. Fast forward to May and he came back. That day we sat down to talk. He broke down and said, I can't lose you too! When he said that, I thought that Tanya was gone. But no, she's not, and as far as I know, she's still alive to this day.
Starting point is 00:09:09 I asked what happened, and he told me that Tanya asked him to go back and be with me. He said that Tanya is sorry for everything. Seb didn't want to leave her, especially when he saw how bad she was doing. They had a fight, and according to him, Tanya wants him out of her life. If I were the same dumb person as earlier, I would totally accept him back, but at the time all I could think was, he's only back because Tanya doesn't want him anymore. I let him cry. I comforted him, and then I let him stay in my apartment.
Starting point is 00:09:39 A week later, I told him that I'm divorcing him. At first, he refused to leave. It was a long and painful process, but on my birthday in July, he finally realized that he couldn't manipulate me anymore. By August, he was back in Canada. The divorce hasn't been finalized yet, but we've been separated since he left. He tried to contact me several times last year. Tanya also tried to contact me. Everyone, including my family, tried to convince me to give him a second chance. But that day in March, when I finally came back to my senses, I knew nothing could make me change my mind. As of now, I'm doing fine alone by myself.
Starting point is 00:10:18 I got promoted last year and moved to a bigger apartment near the beach. I found new friends and I recently started getting into Pilates. I've traveled to Australia and New Zealand and met some amazing people. I feel like a completely different person. Last year was the major turning point of my life. Seb still bothers me from time to time, but he knows that I couldn't care less anymore. Sometimes I talk to him. I still care, but not as much. I've been told by our common friends that he is not doing well. He became an alcoholic and he couldn't get a job because of it. He's mostly couchsurfing because Tanya doesn't want him to live with her. Lol that B word.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Man, okay, so just abandoning your wife to be with your ex-girlfriend is bad enough as it is. But you have to add on top of that the fact that he talked to his ex-girlfriend every single day on the phone. But then once he goes back to Canada he never called OP. Also I'm having a little bit of difficulty understanding Tanya's motivation here. Does she not really want Seb back? She just doesn't want anyone else to have Seb?
Starting point is 00:11:24 Is that the situation? Like if I can't have him then no one can have him and by now I'm so angry at him that he hasn't picked me that I don't want to be with him either so I just want him to be miserable for the rest of his life, is that the type of person she is? Our next Reddit post is from PaysonCacosis. I'm a 29 year old woman and I've always been good with numbers and responsible. It was more noticeable when I was in school because no one cared. But given that I have cerebral palsy and walk with crutches, plus being a nerd, you can imagine I was an extremely easy target for bullying.
Starting point is 00:11:56 One year the school shuffled us around so I had new classmates. The bullying got worse, but then one of the popular guys would defend me. At first I was confused, but when I saw that he would leave me his notebooks, I understood. And so began our symbiotic relationship. The bullying stopped and I would do his homework every day. We never talked about it and whenever he spoke to me, he sounded angry. It was like that for almost three years and his grades actually went up. I was just grateful that I could be at peace in school. We graduated and I never spoke to him again
Starting point is 00:12:30 nor did I see him again. But then, a week ago, he reached out to me on Instagram. He told me how good life had been for him and he offered to buy me a house and a car. At first I thought that it was a scam but we made video calls and he showed me things and it's legit. Long story short, he's a successful businessman worth millions living abroad now. He said that he always remembered me because I helped him get to where he is now. He said that he wants to repay me because he knew how hard it is to be disabled and a woman in my country specifically. He's not wrong, but I'm actually doing okay right now, so I declined all of his offers. But then I received a call from a medical center, the most expensive one where I lived,
Starting point is 00:13:14 mind you, saying that I have three years of physical therapy prepaid for. How he knew that I do physical therapy, I don't know. I still thought that it was a joke, so I went there, and it was true. I already did my first two sessions, and my body feels so much better. I'm still confused, because I saw our relationship as purely transactional, and now he comes to me and says that he owes me. I'm so confused. OP, this is roughly the plot of Great expectations where years ago one tiny act of kindness changed someone's life and that person went on to become a millionaire so decades later they
Starting point is 00:13:51 come back to repay the favor. So I say just take it. Like what's the problem? For all we know, the homework you did for him was completely life changing. Like maybe because you increased his grades, that allowed him to get into a better school and through his school he met a new colleague that he was to get into a better school and through his school, he met a new colleague that he was able to start a business with and become a millionaire.
Starting point is 00:14:08 You know, so if he wants to pay you back, I say, awesome. Also, I really like this reply down in the comments from Nate Corey. I had a friend offer to do something nice for me and I declined. His response changed my point of view forever. He said, you don't get to decide whether or not I get to do things for people that make me happy.
Starting point is 00:14:28 And I realized that it wasn't just for me. It made him happy and made him feel like he's making the world a better place. Our next Reddit post is from Deleted. My husband admitted that he didn't want anyone to want to passionately hug a 42 year old woman when he asked for an open marriage. He asked for an open marriage after 20 years of happy marriage because he wasn't attracted
Starting point is 00:14:49 to me anymore even though he still loved me. Maybe it's a midlife crisis, but he was panicking about not having been with another woman his entire life. I left him and asked for divorce. The separation devastated us mentally and financially. My children suffered the most and started hating me for leaving and breaking their happy home. When we got back together, I agreed to an open marriage, but I didn't want to know the details. Everything was great, according to him anyways. Around New Year's, when everyone starts thinking about their lives and planning changes, I realized that I couldn't live like this anymore.
Starting point is 00:15:26 I hadn't passionately hugged for five years. I downloaded Tinder, and by the end of the evening, I had matched with 40 guys and was talking with 10. I met with three of them, and one of them, I continued meeting. I still use Tinder and meet with new people, and I still get new matches every time I log in. Now my husband is frenetic about it and obsessed with what and who I match with. He thinks that I'm doing it the wrong way, but I don't know what he means.
Starting point is 00:15:55 He's the one who wanted this, but I'm the one doing it wrong. He demanded to know everything about the guys that I met, because he said that we needed to be open in an open marriage. I agreed, but I still didn't want to know about his women. He has full access to my phone and he knows everything about my dates. It did not make him feel any better. I was so confused and asked what more he wanted of me. I've done everything that he asked for.
Starting point is 00:16:20 He finally admitted that he never expected any man to want me, a 42 year old married mother of three, when there are so many young single women out there. Yo, this dude doesn't know what he's talking about. Milfs are in. In fashion, in style, in demand. Clearly, this guy just wanted to sleep around and for you to not sleep around, meaning not really an open marriage, just a license to cheat. That was R slash true off my chest. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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