Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - Scheana Spills: Backup Dancers, Canceled Podcasts & Moving to the Valley

Episode Date: March 15, 2024

This week, Scheana answers all of your burning questions and gives an update on her new TV role, moving to the Valley, and addresses where she currently stands with her castmates heading into the Season 11 Reunion. Plus, how did Scheana end up next to Sandoval during the meditation, why did she face financial challenges during the pandemic, and what did she really think of Raquel’s promo clip for her podcast? Tune in to find out! Follow us: @scheana @scheananigans The video version of this episode will be available on Scheana’s YouTube page on Friday, March 15th.   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Episode Sponsors:Visit maidenform.com and use code Scheana20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase.For a limited time, you can get 15% off your entire first order at happymammoth.com - Just use code goodasgold at checkout.Get 50% off your first month on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with promo code HONEY.Head to FactorMeals.com/goodasgold50 and use code goodasgold50 to get 50% off. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. from your headphones to the stage. Get ready to be inspired, entertained, and watch audio get a makeover. Tickets are on sale now at dearmedia.com slash IRL. See you on May 4th in Austin, Texas. from vanderpump rules to motherhood and everywhere in between it's time to catch up with sheena shea this is shenanigans and now here's your host sheena shea host, Sheena Shea. Hello, hello, and welcome back to Shenanigans and another episode of Sheena Spills. You all sent in a lot of questions. I'm going to try to get through as many of these as I can. I tend to get out of breath when I do these episodes because I'm just talking to myself. It's already been a big week. I just left set. I am filming my very first scripted project in a while, which is so fun because Brock

and I actually booked a couple's role on Lopez versus Lopez. We get to play a space engineer and a surgeon. And I'm so excited. But this role came while we're in between a move, preparing for the reunion, binging all of the Vanderpump Rules episodes. So it's been a week, but it's been a very exciting week. And I can't wait to get into some shenanigans with you guys. So I saw a lot of comments about Ariana stuff. So I kind of wanted to start with that based on this week's episode. Do you regret your comment about Ariana being your backup dancer? I literally meant this as a joke. I did

not mean shade. I feel like often at times when I tend to be self-deprecating, it's not received well. It doesn't land. And I always look for opportunities where the show can do flashbacks and I think that's one thing that I've been really good about in my now 11 seasons on the show is just bringing up moments where you can look back because it's always fun to see a flashback so there was no shade meant by that Ariana is an incredible dancer as we all saw on Dancing with the Stars. That's why I asked her to be a part of my Roxy show to begin with, because I knew she would elevate that performance. And there is no way in hell I would have wanted to compete against her

on Dancing with the Stars. So I just want to put that out there. That was not meant to be Shade. And I'm sorry that it came out that way, because I also saw another question. shade and I'm sorry that it came out that way because I also saw another question why are you trashing Ariana and it's like I'm not our friendship is very real it existed before reality tv cameras came in the mix you know I'm the person who begged her to do this show with me because I didn't have any friends outside of Tom Sandoval in this group. And I feel like way past the reality show and the cameras one day, our friendship is always going to exist. She is family.

She is Auntie Unicorn. And yeah, I think this season, I know because I've now seen so many episodes this week preparing for the reunion, you're going to see in the upcoming weeks how we navigate some of those bumps in the road. So stay tuned. But her and I are good. We've always been good. It's just, you know, trying to figure out this whole world that we're in and how to coexist with people who she no longer wants in

her life. So it's been challenging, but we're getting through it. Do you regret your dancing with the stars comment? Look, to save myself the embarrassment, sure. But that was my genuine emotion in the moment and as cringe as I might be sometimes I don't ever regret sharing that is literally my job here I feel like this season I was priding myself on trying to be the most open and honest version of myself, even if at times the audience may not agree with me, if people think I should be acting one way and I'm acting another, putting arguments with my husband on camera.

I went way out of my comfort zone this season and I'm hoping that y'all can show me some grace and just understand that a lot of the things that we're navigating are relatable and I'm putting it all out there because I hope that it helps people who have gone through similar things but yeah I felt like in that moment knowing that other people knew about Dancing with the Stars and I was one of the last to find out. It just hurt my feelings because if there was an NDA, but other people knew, then why didn't I know? Does that mean you don't trust me anymore? And I just felt really hurt in that moment because I used to be the person she would tell everything to first.

So that's how I felt. But looking back, yeah, I wish we could have just skipped over all of that because the next question is, how do you feel about the backlash you've been receiving recently? Do you get tired of it seeming like people are just determined to misunderstand you? How do you remain so strong with all of the criticism on social media? At the end of the criticism on social media? At the end of the day, I mean, it's just noise. And now that I'm a mom, I feel like I can't

live in that noise. I need to create peace within myself so that my daughter isn't living in that noise. And you'll see a bit of that of that I think this week and next week with Lala as well just trying to create that piece and I think her and I have been able to get to such a close place in our friendship because our values are really aligned and we just really get each other and having our kids grow up with moms and just parents you know who can try to center themselves and have as much peace as possible is really important to both of us so that's what I've been trying to do and hopefully I'm doing a good job and just being a version of myself that my daughter is proud of. That is my ultimate goal at the end of the day. How are you and Ariana since you said you don't hear from her that much?

Look, girl is booked and busy. She's on Broadway and I know it's not just me. So I'm not taking it personal that I don't hear from her as much. If I check in, I usually will hear back. And if I don't, I know it's because she's busy. I try to message at a time when I know she's maybe not rehearsing or doing her show and whatnot, but she's busy and it's not just me. So yeah, I can't imagine. I mean, I did a show in Vegas and she's on freaking Broadway. So yeah, I'm not taking offense to that, but I'm just so proud of her.

And I honestly cannot wait to go back and see that show again because I know Brock really wants to see it as well. In season three, Ariana denied that her mom was texting you about Tom. What's the truth there? And since the affair was revealed, have you and Ariana revisited that whole exchange? If so, does she believe you now? I think it was kind of briefly revisited last season because you found out that she always did know the truth about Miami Girl.

So there was no need to really go back and revisit that and have that conversation I did have conversations with her mom about Sandoval at the time and all of those were completely in Ariana's defense I didn't like the way Tom was behaving I felt like the show had gotten to his head and he was acting really cocky and that was kind of the conversation I was having with her mom it was just looking out for our girl and making sure she was happy and not getting buried under Tom this week Ariana says that you're 100% softening the blow for when you rekindle your friendship with Tom Sandoval is that valid I can see where she's coming from, but that was not my intent. My motivations here weren't rooted in any plans or desires to be friends with Sandoval again. We also do have a job to do in asking questions that the audience is probably going to want to know answers to. And that was kind of what I was doing in that moment was like,

OK, but like, let's just play devil's advocate or let's just put out a hypothetical. How would you feel? Because obviously I had had some conversations with him and I think everyone was kind of wanting to know, like, where do we go from here? And would Ariana ever change her mind, even if it was years down the road? So that's where I was going with that comment. I know there was also another comment she made in her confessional about Sandoval wearing me down, then Lala, then James, and eventually the whole group's fine with him and ices her

out. names and eventually the whole group's fine with him and ices her out and when I heard her say that that made me really sad because if that was Tom's like long con to just gaslight her icer out of the friend group or whatever I mean those feelings are completely valid it hits a much deeper chord. And that's the great thing I think about reality TV is you get to hear the inner monologues of your friends. You get to reflect on things that you've said and done that you might want to start moving a little differently. And it is just a big mirror and you get to reflect on the good the bad the ugly but after every season I hope I grow and I'm a better version of myself because look y'all I know that I have cringe moments on this show sometimes you need a little cringe in reality TV, right? So I'm just here to provide the cringe relief for everyone.

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I wanted to make peace so I wasn't triggered by his presence anymore. And I needed to do what was best for my mental health so I could start sleeping well again at night and being present for my kid during the day it's like I'm on a show with this person I needed to get to a place where I could film with him be at the same venue as him and not have such a strong knee jerk reaction where when someone walks in the room like i've experienced this for years usually with the women on this show when stassi or katie or kristen and i were fighting back in the day and they would come in the room and i just kind of would clam up and get that tight chest feeling and just like my palms are sweaty and I'm just like I was so uncomfortable and it's not a good feeling it is not healthy for me to feel

that way so if I'm trying to make peace with someone so when they walk in rooms just like hey what's up you know like he said when we were at the airport I was just like oh hey we're over here that was it it. It was just like, I need to do that for me because having that hatred and anger inside was tearing me apart. It was not good. It was affecting the way I was parenting and it just wasn't good for me. So making peace and being friends is two very different things. That meditation scene was really uncomfortable to watch. Why did you sit there next to Sandoval? Was it assigned seating? Did you know you'd be breaking off into partner work? So when we first came to the mats, I originally sat where Brock sat in between Allie and Lala.

I didn't know it was like a partner thing or whatever and the instructor asked me to please sit on the end and I was like okay is this like camera blocking like what and so when she told me she needed me to move that's when I sat over there I now see why they wanted me to move because they wanted us to do the whole turn the back partner exchange which was extremely uncomfortable. I was not in a good place that day. I felt very under the weather. I did not want to do that whatsoever. But I also was like, look, you got a job to do and this is your job today. So suck it up and try to get through this. And maybe, maybe there can be some healing on the other side of this. It felt very manipulative when the meditation guide made you look Sandoval in the face and imagine it would be the last time you ever saw him.

How did you feel about that? Did you feel uncomfortable being forced to participate in that? How did you feel about that? Did you feel uncomfortable being forced to participate in that? Yes, that felt extremely uncomfortable. That was the moment when she was saying that and we're looking in each other's eyes and he started crying. That was the moment where I was like, oh, fuck, he really does miss me as his friend. And I immediately started feeling guilt because I'm like Ariana deserves genuine tears from you Ariana deserves these feelings why is it being directed at me and so there was a mix of emotions

going through but also remembering who he used to be to me but no longer was and it was just a and it was just a clusterfuck of emotions to put it candidly. When you said that you still fucking hate him and went back inside the house, why did you even come back out? Do you regret that? I was just trying to get through my job that day. I don't regret going back out. I was proud of myself for pushing through something extremely hard. But yeah,

that was not easy and it was not fun. Looking at your podcast past, I can't see when it was canceled. We see that it wasn't. Okay, so when I said it was canceled, Podcast One, who I was originally with for Shenanigans, dropped like 50% of their shows in March of 2020. And my show was one of the many that got dropped. I wanted to continue Shenanigans. So I started doing it on my own, which also then cost me money out of pocket because I had to pay someone hourly to edit the podcast. I don't do any editing at all. So as much as I still wanted to put the show out, I'm like, okay, cool. Now I have to get someone who can do this for me and upload it and all of that. So we did it on our own for a bit. I put it on Patreon for a bit. So the podcast has always been there. I just wasn't with the company. Therefore, I was making $0 in ad revenue.

wasn't with a company. Therefore, I was making zero dollars in ad revenue. So that job on top of the show being on pause for almost two years, zero brand deals were coming in during that time. And if you guys have heard Kristen Doty's podcast, I know she explains a little more about her position she was in on the show at the time so take with that what you want but I just wasn't in a good financial position after season eight and I had bills to take care of and Tom did help both Kristen and I out I know she declined it at the time I did accept it and I said I'm going to pay you at the time I did accept it. And I said, I'm going to pay you back. And he's like, no, you're not. I'm never accepting you to pay me back. And I was like, OK, then I'm going to do something really cool for you. And that year, you actually never even saw it on the show. His whole birthday party season nine was completely

cut. We did this Western themed birthday and I got him this crystal it was like a Swarovski crystal replica something or another maybe it wasn't Swarovski those were the real ones whatever it was it was very expensive motorcycle helmet that was a replica of something that Post Malone wore and I was in a better position at that time and I got him this as a birthday gift because he was like I'm not taking the money back and then Brock was like I want to build you an axe throwing yard and so we were trying to just do fun things that equaled the amount of money he gave us because he refused to take it back because that was just who he was to us back then why were you so broke during the pandemic? Yeah, I think I just explained that. Okay, from Mariana to Tom to Katie, how are you and Katie? So we're in a good place. We,

as much as I'm seeing now her inner monologue and everything she says about me on the show, her and I didn't really have any negative exchanges this season I felt like we were pretty solid throughout we also just filmed something really fun together that I believe will be out in April and I can't wait for y'all to see that I was at her very intimate close friends Christmas party at her birthday dinner with only like seven other people. So I mean, I think her and I are in a good place. Okay, thoughts on Katie calling you a male sympathizer. So I'm not gonna lie. At first, I was a bit annoyed when I heard what she said on the after show, especially as I heard about it while we were both on set filming this project together. heard about it while we were both on set filming this project together but I felt like she was just doing the Katie thing and trying to get a jab in there however after taking some time to sit

with that and kind of better understand where she's coming from and forming that opinion I can see why she would feel that way. At the core of my friendship with Katie, there is a lot of love. So when you peel back all of the layers, as much as we've gone at each other, we do genuinely love each other. She has a sharp tongue. I, you know, can be a people pleaser at times, which gets me in trouble. But the issue is, I think that those layers have been built up from negative experiences we've had with each other over the 12 years of our friendship.

I feel like if Katie and I went to couples therapy, we would be in a really good place. I think if we had someone come in and just kind of, you know, mediate of how to explain things to each other. And we did have some of those moments this season where we had really good conversations. I think that could help. I think that could help. I also think Katie has always been triggered by my closeness to Tom Sandoval, who she has always had a bad relationship with. She's never really liked him from day one. So I think that my closeness with Sandoval is also largely built on who he was for me and how he was there for me when all of the girls in

this group bullied me in the beginning. It was like Tom was the only person who was nice to me when this show started, which is why I begged Ariana to do the show because I was like, girl, I'm about to lose my job if you don't come on the show because I have no one to film with. I only have Tom and Tom is with Kristen and Kristen doesn't like me. And it was not an easy position to be in. I felt like I have fought so hard for my place in this group for so long. And my friendship with Sandoval to Katie, I think for her was almost a validation of his abusive behavior towards her. And it also maybe reminds her of her marital struggles with Schwartz where, you know, it was kind of a common theme where Schwartz didn't really have her back. And he tended to stick up for everyone else other than his wife, which was not OK.

And I can imagine after years what that would do to someone and how that would make them feel. And especially when it came to Sandoval, it was like Schwartz was usually against Katie to be Team Tom. So I can't imagine how hard that was for her but after you know five months of us reconnecting and rebuilding our friendship without Sandoval in the picture I can now understand why that moment of me struggling in grief over losing this friendship could be triggering to her. And I think, again, like I said, that's just where my people pleasing tendencies get me in trouble. And it's like, I don't want to make anyone feel bad. But in the process, I make things worse and I make everyone feel bad that's never my intention and I am working on that I think it's hard to rewire our brains to undo decades of

patterned behavior and I know I will not have a perfect record moving forward, but to all the people out there, I want you to know I do recognize it. I am actively working on this and I'm also actively working on rewiring my brain through EMDR therapy. I saw there was another question that came in about what have I done with my postpartum OCD to help me just cope with that. And EMDR therapy, I'm telling y'all, it legitimately works. Your brain gets rewired, reprocessed. And it's like something that affected me so much going into my session. I could be at a level nine, a level 10.

much going into my session. I could be at a level nine, a level 10. I come out of it. I'm anywhere between a zero to a two. After every session I've had, I've gotten pretty close to feeling a one. And then the effects even last longer than that to where a few days, a week later, I'm like, actually, I feel like I'm at a zero. I feel like that's not bothering me at all anymore. So I highly recommend any type of therapy like that. Reiki, I think it's also great, but I am an EMDR stan. And for those of you who don't know what it is, look it up, but it is eye movement desensitization reprocessing, I believe it stands for. And it's life changing. Absolutely incredible. Okay, I'm going to take one more quick break and then we're going to get into some more

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KiwiCo.com with promo code HONEY. That's 50% off your first month at k-i-w-i-c-o.com promo code honey and we're back with some more fun questions if vpr hadn't been successful where would you be what would you do well considering i was just on set of a scripted sitcom with a live audience this week i feel like that's where I would be. I would be hosting. And those are still things that I want to do. I want to continue the success on Vanderpump Rules as long as I can. But getting to do acting on top of Vanderpump Rules, throw in some hosting in the future. That is where I think I would have been. And I think I still will be. How are you feeling going into the reunion? I still have a few episodes to binge

tonight before we film, but I don't know. Honestly, I feel like I'm always feeling good about going in, but I'm also at the same time feeling nervous about going in and feeling anxious. But then I'm like, no, I feel good because I'm in a good place. I'm in a good place with the girls. But then you hear everything everyone says and then you watch the after show and I'm like, shit, are you mad at me? Like, we just had dinner last night. I thought we were good. So, yeah, I can only, you know, show up, tell my truth, do my best and hope for the best. So, yeah, that's how I'm feeling.

What's something good you took away from filming this season honestly I think putting it all out there and not being afraid of the backlash whether that was me taking a stance and as much as I know everyone says I make everything about me and I've always put myself first I really genuinely do try to put everyone else's feelings before mine. And I think this season I was like, I do need to do what's best for me. You know, maybe if that's extending grace to someone who is suicidal and doing things that help me have inner peace at the end of the day, that's what I need to do because that is what's best for me and to make me the best version of myself for my daughter.

If it's arguing with my husband and putting that out there and doing something that was basically exposure therapy because I don't think I've ever really argued with a partner on Vanderpump Rules. I think just trying to be the most open and authentic version of myself and dealing with the backlash is what I took away. Just being true to myself and, you know, people want to say whatever they want to say about my music and I can't sing, but it's like, People want to say whatever they want to say about my music and I can't sing, but it's like, okay, I'm still doing something I enjoy doing and something that my daughter is so proud to watch me do. She loves my songs. She loves to see me perform. She loves to dance with me. And at the

end of the day, that means more to me than what some trolls on the internet have to say. Hence, my song Sweet and Sour for all all the trolls and mean girls out there. You can stream it now on Spotify, download it on Apple Music, and more songs to come. Sorry, not sorry. Okay, did you move? Yes, this week we moved. Shout out to Roadway Moving. They were incredible.

I've had several friends move with them and they just made everything so easy. Packed it all, did it all. So yes, in the new house officially this week, it was bye-bye to the West side, which is honestly really sad. I've been close to the beach since 2018. That felt like home, whether it was Marina or San Diego, but Marina for the past two years.

And I will definitely miss being on the West side, but having more space, having a backyard and just everything for summer to grow up in is really amazing. And the fact that we could walk to Lala's house in about seven and a half minutes is just the best like her brother even came over the other day and was helping me move stuff he's like oh my god it's literally like around the corner we're around the corner we're next door to each other for our daughters to get to grow

up together and go to school together which was our dream when they were born but one of those things that you don't know if it's actually going to happen. Are you going to choose to settle down in the same city? I was very anti-Valley. But the fact that we're actually doing it, I'm so happy. Which exes that we know, do you still talk to? So I try not to keep in close contact with my exes Max and I are still friends we've always

been friends him and Brock actually even knew each other back in San Diego before I met Brock you will see a little bit more of the Max of it all later this season but outside of Max Rob occasionally will reach out I'll text Shay to check in a couple times a year maybe. I guess. Those are my only exes really that y'all know. Adam I never considered an ex. I don't see or talk to him, but I ran into him once and it was a pleasant exchange. Made a penguin joke and moved on.

What was your first interaction with a fan like? Oh my gosh, I wish I remembered. I think it might've been when we were in New York for Watch What Happens Live and we got recognized for the first time. That was kind of wild because I remember we were sitting at a cafe, myself, Stassi, Jax and Sandoval

and someone came up to us. And I remember that day I hit 10k on Instagram, which was wild. And Jax, Stassi, and Sandoval weren't at 10k yet. Obviously, everyone has, you know, just completely grown since then. But that was around the first time I can remember an interaction with a fan. Wow, it's been, I can't believe how long this show has been on. That's just wild. And so blessed to still be able to do this. And so thankful for all of you for following us on this journey since I hit that 10K. It's been really incredible to just be able to live our lives and

put it all out there for your entertainment, but also hopefully for you to relate to. How do you feel about Raquel's podcast promo showing clips of you talking about Tom Sandoval? I did hear about that, you know, good on her. I heard it was her passion project. She spent like two days on. I just want to say thank you for the views. And yeah, if that's part of her healing journey and doing things like this, you know, help her heal and move forward, then I wish her the best. I really do. I think everyone deserves to have their voice heard on whatever platform they may be. And if this is her way of healing, like I said, then, you know, more power to her. And again, thank you for all the views.

Do you see yourself leaving reality TV in the next couple of years to pursue other career goals? Do you see yourself leaving reality TV in the next couple of years to pursue other career goals? No, I want to be Garcelle and I want to do it all. Do you see a version of Vanderpump Rules existing without you on the cast? Sure. I mean, I've thought about this before after I had Summer and the show came back for season nine. I definitely wasn't like 100%. Oh my God, I can't wait to come back. It was a lot of discussions of,

is this what we want for our family? We've figured out how to get by without the show for a year and a half, almost two years. So is this really what I want to do? And after a lot of thought and a lot of conversations, we decided that, yeah, this is something we want to do I enjoy doing and I hope to do it for many years to come it doesn't necessarily have to be Vanderpump Rules you know I mean that show can exist without any one of us except Lisa Vanderpump

because it is Vanderpump Rules but that's where there's the valley, you know? I mean, the show can go on without any individual person. I hope it never goes on without me because I love what I do, but at the end of the day, it's not my show. It's Lisa's. So thank you guys so much for sending in all of your questions.

I hope you continue to enjoy the season and show me some grace. I need to finish prepping for the reunion. Go get my nails done. We're going to go a little shorter this year. Not so I can make a fist, but because I'm just going to switch it up. So thank you guys so much for listening

and for watching. And we will be back next week with Janet from the Valley. Bye. Thanks for listening to Shenanigans with Sheena Shea. Download new episodes every week on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.