Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - Scheana Spills: Hot Mics, Cheeky Comments & Taking it to the Grave

Episode Date: December 29, 2023

This week, Scheana is solo on the podcast giving a post-Christmas recap and sharing her struggles and successes of 2023. Scheana addresses the confusing comments she made on social media in response to the “Schwartz Makeout” moment from the VPR trailer and provides context behind the controversial clip of her appearance on the Hot Mic Podcast. Plus, why does Scheana say that she’s not the best judge of character? Tune in to find out! Follow us: @scheana @scheananigansProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is with Dear Media. I'm so excited to say that. So I promise you in this podcast, you're going to either learn about something, you're going to be inspired by someone that's like always coming from a perspective of humor, then this is the place for you. I hope you enjoy this little snack. From Vanderpump Rules to motherhood and everywhere in between, it's time to catch up with Sheena Shea. This is Shenanigans. And now here's your host, Sheena Shea. Hello, everyone, and welcome to Shenanigans. Welcome back. It's the last episode of the year. I am so thankful that this year, my podcast received an award because of all of you guys voting and listening. And it's been a wild year. I wanted to wrap it up by talking to

you guys about a few things I mentioned last week I said we would get into. But also, I hope everyone has had a great holiday season thus far. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Happy New Year coming up this weekend. I will be in Australia. I am so excited for those of you who are listening in Australia. I hope that you come see me this Saturday at the Beyond the Valley Festival. I am headlining the podcast stage and I am so, so excited about that. Never in my life did I think I would see my name on the same freaking lineup as Rufus Dussel. I can't get over how cool this is. I'm just so thrilled. But yeah, I can't wait to see all of you guys and meet you. And I just wanted to hop on here to talk to you all about a few things

and just wrap up this year on a positive note. But I had some things that were still kind of weighing heavy on my head and my heart, and I wanted to get it all out for you. So this Christmas was amazing in Palm Springs for us. We have our house, you know, next to Lala and her family, which is amazing. We just have this big, it feels like blended family now, pretty much raising Summer and Ocean as sisters and to be able to have them together Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, it was incredible. Before that, we had my family Christmas with a bunch of my cousins. I'm sadly missing the other side of my family because I will be in Australia. But I also just wanted to give a little message to all of the parents out there because with as much time as I've spent

with my family and cousins and cousins, cousins and in-laws and so much extended family, I've noticed some things that really took me back to when I was 11, 12 years old in junior high and I was getting bullied and I was miserable at family Christmases. And I saw a little bit of that recently. I walk in and I'm not going to give too many details of who, but I just noticed it was like seeing a younger version of myself sitting on the couch, very unhappy. And I'm talking to this little girl and she told me she's getting bullied really bad at school. And I just, I saw it the second I walked in the room and it broke my heart. The entire night,

I was just like, what can I do to, what can I do to make things better? You know, there's nothing you can do when it's a situation like that. It's something that having a daughter, even one day if I have a son, it's something that I worry about when girls especially get to that age. And I can only speak from personal experience of being a girl in junior high, but it's a really hard time and kids are mean. And I know that when I was going through what I was going through, and this is something I've recently worked on in EMDR therapy, I didn't tell my parents anything at all. I put on a happy face. It's something that I think the audience has seen

on Vanderpump Rules. It's something that I've even carried on to in adulthood, which I really tried the last couple years to not do anymore, is to paint a perfect picture. I try to be more open and honest and share the full story now, even if it is ugly. Sometimes that takes some time. It maybe won't be the first day because I also try to react more rationally and less emotionally and sit back and think on things. And going back to my relationship with Shay, I don't feel like I always did that. It was just like, well, you hurt me and you did this to me and now I'm going to tell the world. And I don't agree with any of that behavior. So I've definitely grown and learned and matured from those decisions in the past. But going back to when I was in junior

high, I was 11, 12 years old, getting bullied really severely to the point where I didn't know if walking home from school, I was going to be okay. It was the last day of eighth grade and I got in a huge fistfight with this girl who bullied me all year. And my parents had no idea because I was able to fight my way through that fight and protect my face and had no marks on me that my parents would have ever known. And that was not something I ever wanted to tell my parents. I didn't want them to know that I got in a fight, that I was getting bullied. I didn't want my mom to know that I was scared at school. I didn't want her to hurt knowing that her daughter was hurting so bad.

I would wake up some days and although I wasn't suicidal, I would feel like it would just be easier if I was dead. It was an absolutely dark and heartbreaking place that I was in in my life. And I saw a glimpse of this this past week. And I just want to say to all of the parents out there to just pay attention because you might think your kid's just going through a phase or, oh, they're just, you know, going through puberty or they're just a little moody or they're just, you know, wrapped up in social media. But ask the questions, push a little bit

and just make sure that you're seeing any signs like that to just be there for your child. And my parents did nothing wrong at all. I know to this day, my mom feels terrible that she had no idea this was going on, but it's because I didn't let her know. I put on such a happy face that she would have had no idea something was wrong. So for all of the parents out there, I just want to say that even if your kid is acting one way, they're acting another way, just always know that it's not so easy at that age to open up to you. And I honestly feel like had I not gone through this experience

personally, I might not have noticed what I just did this week. I think I might have been like, oh, she's just at that age. Oh, she's just on Instagram. Oh, she's just on TikTok. She's talking to her friend. Maybe she's texting a boy. I don't know. But I just immediately saw a younger version of myself and I'm like, I know that face. And I just felt like that was an important message for me to put out there to parents because it's hard being a kid that age. And I know a lot of us can remember those times and maybe a lot of us can't, but just be there for your kids and ask them how school is and just keep an eye out for those signs because bullying is no joke. I can't even imagine if there was social media when I was in

school back then, how hard it would have been for me. So that was just one thing I really wanted to share with you guys without going into too much detail. But there are also a couple of things I wanted to address that I have seen so much online. And I even showed a post at my family Christmas I was at. And I said, you know, I got bullied really bad as a kid. And even as an adult with social media, I said, look at, look at all these comments. You know, sometimes it continues later on in life and people are still mean, but I'm happy. I'm in a good place and things always get better. I promise you, you just got to push through and stay true to yourself and keep being a good person. Because at the end of the day, I have faith that people will understand the full story and hopefully start giving me a little bit of grace.

But going to all of the comments I've seen on the Hot Mic podcast that I did. This is a podcast with our executive producer, Alex Baskin, and our showrunner, Jeremiah Smith, who was a guest on it with me. And it was probably an hour show that you have to pay to subscribe to listen to. I don't even think the full video has been released yet. There was like a three minute clip that got released on like bravotv.com. And the fans just went wild, trashing me for a little snippet of a conversation without the full context, because that's what people do. And I can't say I blame them at times when you're watching an episode of the show and you're given this information

and that's what you're fully judging on. But obviously, it's never the full story. This podcast, I was explaining about how Ariana will never understand how hard this has been for me. So the context behind that, it's not because of having to cut off Tom Sandoval. the context behind that it's not because of having to cut off Tom Sandoval it's not because you know I also lost Raquel in my life someone who was very close in my inner circle I felt like she was family I mean I loved her so much it was because this year has been hard. There have been so many other things unrelated or indirectly related to

Scandival that have happened in my life. I want to remind you all that my life also exists outside of this show and this friend group. I have a massive friend group and a huge family outside of the cast of this show. And other things happen. And when Scandaval happened and how it happened, it brought up other things. It brought up rumors about my husband. It forced me to go through dealing with things in a different way, feeling different trust issues, and so much that you will hopefully see upcoming soon. But there were a lot of other things outside of the VPR world. And in trying to talk around those events, I feel like I've maybe misspoken at times. Things that I have said have come off wrong or just, yeah, out of context. For those of you who are regular podcast listeners, you know, I've been really working on my mental health this year. I'm very proud of the progress I've made in that department. But I just, again, ask for a little bit of grace and not to rush to judgment on a soundbite from a teaser of an out of context line from a clip from an hour long podcast. Okay. We have a whole season 11 still that you've only seen a two minute teaser for.

There are so many of these things that I spoke about this summer. There are also things that, like I said, happen outside of the show and the cast. And I haven't opened up about everything because not everything is everyone's business when, you know, not people on the show are involved. So just give me some grace and just know that I didn't just mean like, oh, Ariana, this was so hard for me. I lost Tom. I lost Raquel too. I felt like the way I said directed, I meant directly affected. And I was only speaking about in this group, I was directly affected in more ways than one. But the way it was said, I just, I don't think it landed well. And hopefully when you guys do watch this next season, you'll start to understand a little bit more about why this was also extremely hard for me. Other things I've seen.

Other things I've seen. So many comments on. The Schwartz kiss. So just to quickly clear up some misleading comments I have made on social media relating to that line in the trailer where Schwartz said what he said. I know I commented to Danny Pellegrino and said, oh, things that were supposed to go to the grave or whatever.

That comment was meant to be a bit cheeky. And I've read the room. Lessons were learned. I'm not making any more jokes about this. The full story of what he meant when he said that will be revealed. So I'm not going to get into too much of it. There's so much more to this story and it's not what you guys think. So yeah, I hate when I say stay tuned, but stay tuned. Also, my Christmas sleigh song. It was a fucking sleigh. We know it was a sleigh. So we wrote this song. I know I mentioned this last week, the end of August. It was right after the Bethany interview came out. And of course, I was hurt by the comments she had made about me.

But the real reason for that line in that song was because of the comments she made about Ariana while on Bethany. And I was seen red at that time. Lala and I wrote this song. And you know, it wasn't like a Santa Claus red. It was like a red, red. And we wanted to do a little Bravo rap breakdown. And we just, you know, she, she wasn't an angel. She was the opposite of the angel. And that's where that came from. But we have talked about maybe doing a version of it without the Bravo rap breakdown.

Because like I said, that was written to hopefully be performed at BravoCon. That didn't happen. And as much as I think that rap breakdown is so catchy and clever for the most part. Maybe we do just keep it Christmassy and do another version, a part two. I don't know. But in regards to that, I saw comments on social media saying that something to the effect of like, oh, Sheena needs closure still from that friendship. And yeah, like, that's true.

I never got closure from my friendship with Raquel. And I know I never will. I feel like everyone just thinks me and Tom are back to being best friends and all is forgiven. And that's not the case. Everyone I've seen saying like, oh, you can forgive Tom, but you can't forgive Raquel. And I'm like, that's not the case. First of all, I've never been able to have a conversation with her. She didn't come back to the show. She filed a temporary restraining order against me. I

would never feel safe reaching out to her. So unless she ever came back to the show and we had an opportunity to have this conversation, you know, it was like the lack of empathy that she had for everything she did was heartbreaking. And she broke a little piece of my heart, not just from what she did, but also how she conducted herself after she did it. It's like, I thought this friendship was real. I thought it was genuine. And I've questioned that now because the minute the friendship ended, she wasn't sad. She wasn't remorseful. She got cold. She was calculating. Once she knew I wasn't going to be someone she could use to elevate herself anymore. She pretty much just clocked out, lights off, no tears. The girl who sobbed over aging out of

pageants now has zero tears for the person who treated her like family and took her in when I felt like she needed someone more than ever. So that darkness I've seen inside of her is what has kept me up at night. And the fact that I let someone with just such a lack of feelings and conscious into my life in such a close way. I can only be mad at myself. I definitely have learned I'm not the best judge of character. If you saw my elf cosmetics little makeup over makeup with Katie Maloney, I think we touched on that a little bit. But yeah, you know, I can only be mad at myself for some of those things and learn from my past and my mistakes and try to be a better version of myself. I feel like as hard as 2023 was, I think I am the strongest I've ever been. Because of it, I was able to reconnect with music. I have this new relationship with the 27s, my boys, Kevin and Lando and Kels, who writes a lot of our music with us has been such a blessing in my life. I am so thankful for these guys. It's given me an outlet to express feelings in a fun way and to just get back into writing and doing something

I enjoy. I feel like I've really found my voice. I've been working through OCD as best as I can for the sake of my daughter and her hopefully not growing up with the same fears and anxieties as I have. I have conquered massive things with exposure therapy, like taking her to Disneyland by myself. And overall, it's been beyond one of the hardest years of my life for several reasons. But it's also been one of the biggest years of growth. And I hope you guys understand a little more of where I was coming from with some things. And I hope when this season airs in a few weeks, you get even some more clarity and understand even more because it was a tough year.

But look, we've only got a few days left. We got through it. And a big part of getting through it is because of the amazing support system I have with my husband, my family, my friends, and all of you. Even despite all of the negative comments I see, the positive ones do still stand out so much to me. And I am so thankful for all of you, all of you who listen to this podcast every week, all of you who watch my vlogs every week. YouTube has been such a positive space for me. And I am so thankful that I have these other

outlets to express myself. And now more music coming out soon. The EP with the 27s, I'm hoping will be done to drop like mid February and a lot of exciting things to come. But just, you know, show us some grace. Enjoy the show. Keep listening to my podcast and I will keep getting into shenanigans with you with fun guests, solo episodes, more hot topics. And yeah, I just wish you all a happy new year. And like I said, if you're in Australia this weekend, cannot wait to meet you at Beyond the Valley. Shop my merch, download what songs are already there, stream Christmas-ly for the rest of the year

because I'm sure you're going to keep your trees up if you're like me, Kiki, and Ryan. So thank you guys so much for listening to another solo Sheena Spills shenanigans. Happy holidays. Happy New Year. Stay good as gold. Bye.

Thanks for listening to Shenanigans with sheena shea download new episodes every week on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts looking fine and i got my girls with me with the boys at the table getting tipsy miss me kiss me one more time get over here boy, boy. I'm gonna make you mine. Do you want it? Let me see you shake that. Do you need it? Let me see you shake that.

Do you want it? Let me see you shake that. Come and get it. Let me see you shake that. Step in the club, little black guy. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.