Small Town Murder - #37 - A Deviously Hypocritical Killer in Wolsey, South Dakota

Episode Date: September 27, 2017

This week, we look at the very small, very rural wheat growing town of Wolsey, South Dakota, where the pillar of the community made everyone think they were perfect, and turned out to be just as awful as everyone else. The cold blooded plan shows the whole town that you just can't trust anybody. Along the way, we find out that some people can't get enough of watching goats race, exactly what constitutes a real doctor, and how not to use the internet while researching murder techniques!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanNew episodes every Thursday!!Please subscribe, rate, and review!Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Head to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Small Town Murder!For merchandise: crimeinsports.threadless.comCheck out James and Jimmie's other show: Crime in Sports Follow us on social media!Facebook: facebook.com/smalltownpodInstagram: instagram.com/smalltownmurderTwitter: twitter.com/MurderSmall Contact the show: [e-mail] See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. What if you married the love of your life and then stood by them as they developed 21 new identities? What would you do? This Is Actually Happening is a weekly podcast that features extraordinary true stories of life-changing events told by the people who lived them. Listen to the newest season of This Is Actually Happening on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. This week, we look at the tiny rural town of Woolsey, South Dakota, where the pillar of the community turned out to be just as awful as everyone else. Welcome to Small Town Murder. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Small Town Murder.

Yay! Oh, baby, you know it. God damn it. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you, folks, so, so much for joining us this week. We are pumped.

I'm jacked up. Yeah. I'm on literally no sleep. I don't know if you can hear it in my voice. I'm coming off being sick, no sleep, and no sleep, but I'm like. I'm jacked up. Yeah. I'm on literally no sleep. I don't know if you can hear it in my voice. I'm coming off being sick, no sleep, and no sleep. But I'm like in an energetic state of no sleep where I'm just like, let's do murder, murder, and more murder. Because I haven't slept, so let's see people who are asleep permanently. Let's talk about that.

Let's do that. Yeah. I'm jealous of them right now. I'm jealous of these people. Hilarious. I've got to thank everyone this week for their just outpouring of iTunes reviews. You guys keep this

train. You keep the coal in the train. It's true. It's an old-fashioned train. We can't afford a new one, so we have to shovel. We have to shovel coal in there. And that's why you can't sleep. You have to stay up all night shoveling this shit in. Gotta make sure the coal stays in the fire. Gotta keep the fire hot. You know what I mean?

You guys are performing huge piles of coal for us to shovel in there. So thank you, guys. It's amazing. I stutter through it because I don't know how to tell you guys thank you enough. It is. It's overwhelming. You're doing it. You're doing it.

And I have to tell you guys that on the business end, those iTunes reviews really help. They do everything. They drive you up the charts. It's such a weird algorithm that iTunes has, and those count very heavily on there. So new reviews, all that stuff. So if you haven't done it yet, if you're a new listener, old listener, hasn't done it yet, I shouldn't say old listener, make you feel old. But if you're a seasoned listener, an original, a veteran listener, and you haven't done it yet. All of those sound horrible. All of those sound terrible.

Seasoned, that doesn't sound good either. That sounds like they're like a leaf ready to break up and blow away in the wind. That's terrible. If you're any of those things, please get on iTunes. Please just give us five stars. It doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't. This isn't for our ego or anything like that.

No. Like we said, it's just the five stars drive us up on the business end. So if you could do that, it would be spectacular and more than appreciated. If that's not enough for you, like so many people this week. And guys, we have to thank you again for your Patreon and your PayPal. Because this week, a lot of you guys, if you follow us on Twitter, you might have noticed people tried to rob us this week, basically. What?

People were trying. We talk about on this podcast how we don't have anything. Nothing. They're still trying to steal from us. It's insane. They're taking the gold fillings out of our teeth. They're walking up to a homeless guy and stealing the cup of change out of his hand and going, I'll take that.

It's like, I don't even, there was like three quarters in there. What are we doing? I can't even buy soap, you dick. So that's, that's where these people tried to like steal from us and our listeners. They tried to put up an account with a fake account claiming they were us and all this type of thing. It's crazy. But our listeners attacked them savagely. Holy shit.

Savagely. Ripped them from limb to limb. Got the real front line involved. Yeah. It was a knockoff of a front line PBA. It's a long story. But basically you guys, thank you guys so much, because it's like from every turn, you get hit.

I feel like, we feel like we're like a shop owner in like 1915, in like the Godfather Part 2, when Don Fannucci's walking around going, I just want to wet my beak. And it's like, I got this guy fucking squeezing me, I got the cops over here. I just want to wet my beak. I can't win. They're squeezing me for money. This one's good. It's like, what are we doing?

It's like from all sides. We've got people fucking us on our ads. It's ridiculous. We've got people trying to rob from us. And then we have these amazing, awesome people who help us out so much and just keep it going. Thank you, guys. Thank you. You did.

It's like an army of Batman. It really is. Running behind us going, don't fuck with them. That's true. We love it. Thank you guys so much. And you keep us going. Don't fuck with them.

That's true. We love it. Thank you guys so much. And you keep us going. And if you want to do that little bit of extra, you can go to Patreon.com slash Crime in Sports. That's our other podcast, but it all goes to us. And you should listen to that podcast, too. It's very, very funny.

You don't have to like sports at all to listen to it. If that's also, you can go to PayPal and you can use our email address, which is Crime in Sports at gmail.com if you want to make a one time donation there and God every penny is so appreciated because like we say there's always somebody on the other side turning us upside down shaking us out so you guys thank you so much we can't thank you enough for that I'm telling you guys and before we get started have to do our disclaimer

real quick here this is a comedy podcast we're comedians we make jokes stories are real everything here. This is a comedy podcast. We're comedians. We are. We make jokes. We do. Stories are real. They are. Everything's real. Research is real.

I haven't slept. The facts are real. I promise you that. We never, ever make jokes at the expense of the victims or the victims' families. We're not trying to do that. Like we say a million times, we're assholes, but we're not scumbags. We are not. We're not scumbags.

But if you're offended by anything and anything might offend you, this probably isn't the podcast for you. If you think true crime and comedy don't go together, again, probably not the podcast for you. There's an unsubscribe button. I highly, highly, highly suggest you probably hit it. Can't tell you how important it would be

for you to hit that right now. I don't want to hear complaining afterwards because you've been warned, like we've said before. You're coming in the liquor store with us. If we shoot the tiny Korean woman in the head, you are an accomplice. You put your.380 in your waistband, too. You knew what we were doing. You knew what this was, damn it.

You knew. You knew what this family was all about. But if you're on board with that, we are happy to have you on board. And let's get going here, and let's shut up and give you murder. We will shut up and give you murder. We will shut up and give you murder. Let's do it. Let's head. This is from a listener.

This case is actually terrific. The first case where it's specifically from a listener that we've done. And it is because I was looking. A lot of guys, a lot of people, we do. We read everything. And we see every case that you suggest. And I have a big folder for them. They're all written down, I promise.

And I happened to be looking for a crime in this specific state, and I couldn't find one I was really, really latching on to. And then somebody sent us this, and I said yes. So thank you to Morgan Russell, a listener of ours, who sent this all the way up in Wolsey, South Dakota. Wolsey? Wolsey. How do you spell it? W-O-L-S-E-Y. Oh.

Wolsey. Yeah, that's Wolsey. It sounds ridiculous, but then you say it. You're like, that's Wolsey, right? That's definitely Wolsey. So Wolsey, South Dakota. Let's head up there. This is rural, Jimmy.

This here is not, this isn't like a suburb of anything. This is a suburb of dirt. There's dirt and there's wheat, And then this is a suburb of wheat. This is it. There is more wheat per capita than people here. I'm positive. It is very, very small. It's in the eastern central part of the state. And if you're not from the states or if you're terrible geography, South Dakota is up there. The North Dakota borders Canada, right smack in the middle of the country, just a big, wide, rectangle state. South Dakota is the one right beneath it that has no identity except that it's beneath North Dakota. Now, they had the Black Hills and all that sort of thing, so a lot of things were on there.

But North Dakota got that mountain with the faces on it, right? They got Mount Rushmore. That is North Dakota. No, that's South Dakota. Is it South Dakota? That's in this state. That's this shit. That's this shit.

That's it. They have Sturgis here. That's, yes. I think Deadwood was South Dakota. Okay. Everything is South Dakota. North Dakota has Bismarck. That's it. That's this shit. That's this shit. That's it. They have Sturgis here. That's, yes. I think Deadwood was South Dakota. Okay. Everything is South Dakota. North Dakota has Bismarck. That's it.

That's the capital. At least we're not Canada. That's what they are. At least, yeah. They're like, hey, we're not Canada. Canadians are like, yeah, we're not coming down there. Stay on your side. Keep that shit to yourself.

Keep your boring state to yourself. So they got Wheat, Mount Rushmore, and long tanned cleavage. Yes. Long biker, tan biker cleavage. That's exactly what they have here. Tanned biker titties. It is nowhere near anything. Two hours to Sioux Falls, which isn't a huge city, and that's two hours to there.

An hour 45 to the capital of Pierre, which is not a big place either. Four hours and four and a half hours to Sturgis. So there is nothing here. This is just a dot in the middle of nowhere. Brutal. A place where you'd fly over it. Anybody would fly over it and go, is there something down there? So there is nothing here. This is just a dot in the middle of nowhere. A place where you'd fly over it. Anybody would fly over it and go, is there something down there? Nah, maybe not.

It looked like a shadow, but there's nothing there. That's where we are. There's a murder. There is murder. We do have murder. It's in Beadle County. B-E-A-D-L-E, not Beetle. Beadle.

Like, was it Beadle Bailey? Yeah. That was B-E-A-D-L-E. Was it that? No, probably not. I think he was just Beadle. It's probably Beadle. Ile. Like Beetle Bailey. That was B-A-D-L-E. Was it that? No, probably not. I think he was just Beetle, like a regular Beetle. I'm probably ruining it. God damn it. No one has...

I loved the funnies and I didn't... No one has read Beetle Bailey in 35 years, so I wouldn't worry about it. But the funnies are for people that can't read anyway. Yeah, yeah. Like, what's that? Oh, they got pictures too. Good. Zip code here, 57384, area code 605.

Watch out for those Woolseyites calling you up there. This is a weird, it's funny, too, because there's two different Woolseys listed in all the statistical things here. We're going to go with the smaller one because they were from the actual town proper. The town itself here is 2.31 square miles. town itself here is 2.31 square miles but then there's a just woolsey which is like the whole area which is 212 square miles which is like everything it encompasses this large area yeah but that's it's encompassing mainly wheat fields and things like that so we're going to stick to the town proper itself the town woolsey the town of woolsey here uh it's like i said small one it's uh beetle county is named for Brigadier General

William Henry Harrison Beadle. Oh, wow. That is a name, right? So some kind of handle. He's got William Henry Harrison, which is a president name. And then he sticks Beadle on the end of it. What the hell, right? He's got to distinguish himself from all the others. He does. He's like, well, I'll be the Beadle man. That's fine. I'm General Beadle. General Beadle was his name. That's pretty funny there. Sounds tough. It doesn't really engender a ton of respect.

No. You know what I mean? It's General Beatle's coming. I feel like that was the working title for Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club. Yeah, General Beatle. And they're like, nah, we're going to switch it. It's too basic. We're going to switch it. You've got to make this shit.

Plus Beatle Bailey, General. It's going to be very confusing. So much. Let's not do this. This county was created by the Dakota Territory Legislature in 1879. They organized up in 1880, and they appointed some county commissioners. And the first town in Beetle County was Kevor, and then Huron was named the county seat. And July 1880, they had a big county commission's meeting. And holy shit, South Dakota's cooking.

Boom. Decided to set this up in the middle of nowhere for some reason. I love it. They first settled Woolsey in 1882, the first settlement there. They put a post office in, and it's been in operation since 1883. So they got cooking right away. First people got there, and they said, let's put up a dam. We need mail.

I need to mail my weed out. Let's do this. They organized the township in 1884 and they named Woolsey for Thomas Woolsey, who was an English cardinal, which seems like a really strange reason to name a town in the late 1800s in literally the middle of America. That's just a strange. What about that English cardinal guy? Let's name it after him. All right. Remember the man of the. Like, that's just a strange. What about that English cardinal guy? Let's name it after him.

All right. Remember the man of the cloth? Let's name it after that. When a man that fought, that's a hero. That's the county. And then we'll just name this guy. Whatever. It's so strange.

It's just such a strange thing to just random. Like, there must not have been very many people there. Yeah. Is the way I can look at it. It was like one guy was, he's the only guy who had an idea. And they're like, yeah, all right, Woolsey, we'll go with that shit. That English guy, whatever, fuck it. Not a lot happened here.

This is not a town with a lot of history. People moved there. They watched wheat. They sat there and they died. That's pretty much what happened. That sounds accurate. Richard Warren Sears, who founded Sears Roebuck, Sears, which is the terrible going out of business.

The worst department. Is there even a, which is the, you know, terrible going out of business. The worst department? Is there even a department store? I don't know. I think they have like a couple hundred stores left and they're all currently on fire. I just know that. They're currently just on fire. And it says fire sale. Yeah, fire sale.

And they just light it on fire. They just shit out on the sidewalk and you just go out there. You pick things out. I think you throw a couple quarters down and you walk away. I don't think they have much going on. Sounds like their way of exchanging goods for services. Well, this guy, much like now, much like Sears would be now if you worked at Sears, he started his retail career by selling unclaimed watches while working at the railroad service station

in Woolsey in the early 1880s. He's a grifter. Yeah, people wouldn't... Yeah, they just lose a watch. Pocket watches, I'm sure. You lose that easily. That's inventory. That's it, right? That's inventory. That's the next thing you know, they just lose a watch, pocket watches, I'm sure. You lose that easily. That's inventory. That's it, right? That's inventory.

That's the next thing you know, he's starting a store. And then now that's Sears now. Guy selling unclaimed shit on the sidewalk. Sears started from robbing the lost and found? That's it. What an asshole. That's Sears. Yeah.

That's what I mean. I don't feel bad for them going out of business. Not at all. Fuck you and your shitty tools. I got arrested for stealing from that place. You guys stole to begin with. Fuck you. You stole from Sears? I did. I got arrested for stealing from that place. You guys stole to begin with. Fuck you. You stole from Sears?

I did. I did. That's the week. Was this the MMA video game or whatever? Yeah, that was that stuff. Oh, my God. Nothing sadder than stealing from, especially nowadays. That would be like taking the cup out of a homeless man's hand.

It's the same thing. They'd be like, it's on fire. It's free. We don't even have a store anymore. That barely costs any money. Why would you steal from us? You realize you're in a tent, right? This isn't even like a physical store. We've just pitched a tent because we got kicked out.

We don't have any sort of magnetic detector when you walk out of here. Just pay for it. They just put a sign, like their own cardboard handmade sign, says Sears up in front of a grocery store sign, and they set up camp out front. No, no, it's Sears now. Come on, everybody. Pay, dot, dot, dot, please.

Craftsman tools? Who wants some? We got them. No, we don't have those anymore. Fuck it. All right. Maybe there's something lost in town. Yeah, somebody else bought those.

Yeah, they did. Somebody bought them. I don't know. Somebody better than Sears, I hope. By 1900, the population of this booming metropolis was up to 122. Jesus. So just cooking right now. They started early around that time.

Woolsey started holding their annual goat races. Oh, my God. Get out of here. They race fucking goats. And they bet on it. I'm sure they do. It's a weekend summer event, which would bring hundreds of people from miles around. People, let's go to the goat.

What? What is the? Why are we going to see goat races? What's the allure? I'd rather go watch a guy sell unclaimed watches on the railroad tracks than watch goats race. It's unbelievable. That one actually went in the direction it's supposed to. Yeah.

Wow. Wow. Races stopped in 1983 due to the stupidity of the affair in general, I would imagine. I don't know why. Due to lack of interest? Due to just general idiocy. Population of this town is about 400 right now. Okay.

400. Jesus. So the whole area, like I said, that big giant Woolsey area is about 900. But this is the smaller one. It's about 398 people right now. It's down 10% since 1990. Great. So people fleeing, bored by the wheat.

Fuck yeah. Or they're just dying and no one knew was moving there, which is probably happening too. The goat races are done. You know what? People said, no more goat. Fuck it. I'm out. I'm leaving. I'm moving. Washing my hands. Fuck this place. Done. Median age here is about 40. Right on

the money, 40, which is a couple years older than the normal median age. Male, female populations are right on the money as far as a few more females than males. A lot of times, like we say with these small towns, when you get under 1,000 people, stats get skewed a lot because of the small population. Married population here, 73%. Wow.

That's a shitload of married people. Normally, it's about 50-50. Yeah. So 73% married, only 27% single. Not a good place to find some people. To find love? Yeah, if you're looking for people, Woolsey's not the place. I'm going to say go ahead and move to Pierre or somewhere a little less horrible than this.

Head over to Sturgis. You get a new wife every year. Every year they'll come in and they'll be so hammered they won't even remember you married them. It's fine. They'll have longer boobs every year. They get longer and longer. Everything here is lower. All the single numbers are lower. All the single numbers are lower.

All the married numbers are higher. That's pretty much it here. Race of this place, it is white. This is the whitest town ever. It's 99.23% white. Holy shit. That is fucking white. That is super white.

Wow. That's just shocking. Norway would be like, that's a lot of white people you got there. That's too many. You guys should definitely go outside the box a little bit. Yeah. Zero percent black. Zero percent Asian.

Somebody mail order a bride in. Jesus. Yeah. Zero percent black, Asian, not even any Native Americans, which I thought you'd find up there. Yeah, that is fascinating. Cleared those fuckers right out for wheat. Get out. We got to sell watches and grow wheat, baby.

Let's move it. Get that fucking TP out of here. Get out of here got to sell watches and grow wheat, baby. Let's move it. Get that fucking TP out of here. Get out of here. 0.77% Hispanic. Really? So there's like, I don't know, three guys. Yeah. There's like three dudes.

Yeah. There's a couple and there's a little small child maybe. That's it. It's so sad. A landscaping team for one of the large, I don't know, build. I don't know what it is. I'm sorry I made them landscapers. This town, I figure they'd be like, we need a land.

Bring in three Hispanics. We need three. Just three. Just three, though. Just three. God damn it. Make them all guys, too, because they'll reproduce. They're like magua.

You get water on them. They start shooting at everywhere. We got to calm them down now. I feel like that's the general pervasive attitude there, even though that might not be true. It's probably pretty close. It's probably pretty close here. true. It's probably pretty close. It's probably pretty close here. Religion, it's a religious town, as we'll get into. Our folks here are pretty religious.

We're going to talk about 62% of the people are religious. It's normally about 50-50. 13% Catholic, which is more than I would have thought. About 1% LDS. The rest are all other Christian faith, which is Presbyterian mainly, which we're going to get into. 0.0% Jewish, 0.0% Muslim. They have like two Mexicans. They're not going to get any.

There's definitely not any Jewish people or Muslims up there. What are we getting at? They're definitely not forgetting 9-11. They're not letting anybody in. They remember every day. They look up at that goddamn mountain somewhere nearby, and they go, not for you, boys. Not for you. We're keeping them out.

Yeah, look at them faces of the presidents. They're grimacing. They're grimacing. They remember. Voting in this town, about 40% Democrat, about 58% Republican. Yeah. Kind of what you'd expect for a rural kind of farm type of town. Unemployment rate super low here, 2.4%.

Everybody's got a farm job to go to somewhere. Everybody's got a wife. Everybody's got a job. That's how we keep it. That's right. And actually, they make decent money. Household income here, median household income, $52,500, which is less than $1,000. That's great.

Less than the national average. National average is about 53.5. $52,000 in a town that has 400 people in it. And you find out, too, what the housing and cost of living we'll get into here in a second. It's pretty impressive. Most of the jobs, too, they actually, except for there's a little more construction, extraction, maintenance, that sort of thing. That's where fracking's at.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, North Dakota, big time. North Dakota is just taking over. I just figured that whole general area of the country is all fracking. It's all, yeah. Buckle up for the earthquakes, people. Ilahoma has like 800 earthquakes a year now they used to have rocks we're gonna find oil they're like me they want oil so bad they're gonna find it anyway like a fucking rock and squeeze it out i love the oklahoma used to have like two earthquakes a year now they have like 600 going and going that has nothing to do with

fracking it's just normal it's like i don don't care if you think you need to frack, that's fine, but admit that you're causing the earth to move. Just go, it's going to fuck shit up, but we need the oil. I'll appreciate the honesty. We live four hours from Sturgis. Do you guys want to drive there? We need to get the oil. No

shit. So otherwise, too, the jobs are actually kind of on point, except for there is zero arts, design, media, sports, entertainment. None of that going on in Woolsey. 0.0%. No legal either there, oddly enough. Really? No anything like that.

Cost of living, we say 100 being par average. Cost of living here is 79, which is fine. There's a couple things that are higher because you're in the middle of nowhere. Groceries are going to be a little higher, that sort of thing. Housing, though, 33 out of 100. Cheap as shit. It's free. It's free.

It's like you're buying it at Sears. You squat in a wheat field and the house will pop up. Don't worry about it. It's buying it at Sears. That's all it is, man. He's out there doling out old watches and houses. No problem. Here you go, guys.

They used to sell cars in Sears Roebuck magazine. You could buy a fucking car, like a Hudson or some shit. Oh, of course. I forget the brand. Old watches and houses. No problem. Here you go, guys. They used to sell cars in Sears Roebuck magazine. They used to sell everything. You could buy a fucking car, like a Hudson or some shit. Oh, of course. I forget the brand, but. Median home cost here is only $61,500, which is excessively $125,000 lower than the national average here. That's unbelievable.

Yeah. A lot of the houses, I mean, there's a good amount, 30% of the inventory there of their house, not inventory, but the houses are worth between $40,000 and $80,000. So that's a good amount. There's a nice low end on that. You can live there with not a lot of money. And if we've convinced you to move there, stare at the wheat, and sell old watches, we have for you the Woolsey, South Dakota real estate report. Let's do it.

Not a lot here in terms of this available real estate. Two-bedroom apartment. Average cost here is $644, which is about $400 less than the national average. I found one home for sale. Really? One that I could confirm. Their welcome sign just says no vacancy. No vacancy.

One house. If you got that, that's fine. And it's a nice house for a cheap price, too. It's a four-bedroom, two-bath, 1,680-square-foot house. A nice house here on Commercial Avenue Southeast. They have a commercial avenue in this town. Because it's commercial as fuck. $62,000.

Wow. For this house. It's a nice little house. Not even little. Nice house. $62,000. Not bad. Things to do in Woolsey, as you might imagine.

On the town, the whole Facebook page of the town, which usually has all the events and everything like that, they have one thing under sightseeing. One thing. One thing, and it's not really a sightseeing. It's angels DIY crafts. And it was like a picture of a painted jar with some shit in it. Come on down and make some shit. Come look at that shit.

Grab a couple of wheat stalks on the way and stick it in there and decorate it. Grab a mason jar. We're going to teach you how. Bring a goddamn pallet, and we're going to teach you how. Bring a goddamn pallet and we're going to teach you how to make shit out of it. We're going to do it. But that's not it though, Jimmy. You think that's the only thing to do? Just to DIY crafts? Shit, no, because in 2008, the goat races

are back, baby. Oh, really? We're racing goats again in Woolsey. Let's do it. They ran out of pallets. That's right. Ran out of it. Back to the goats, man. Goats, they're at the Lions Club goat races at 7 p.m. at the softball field in the southeast part of town. They run them in the softball field? In the softball field.

They're willing to just fuck that grass up? Shit everywhere. Ripping it up. Shit everywhere. Your goat just shit on second base. That's all right, though. That's their whole thing. We'll rake it up afterwards.

It's nothing. That's all right. Do they run them in a circle? I don't know. Like around the bases? Like it's a mustard ketchup relish race at a baseball game i'm not sure how they do it i'd watch that shit if they dressed them up in little costumes i would absolutely watch that especially if they got mustard relish and ketchup you know it that's awesome uh crime rates here what we're interested in obviously very average property crime very

average violent crime murder rape robbery assault very average. Property crime, very average. Violent crime, murder, rape, robbery, assault, very average. Slightly below national, but nothing to be bragging about. Nothing to be like, we're safe! Don't get too excited, people. Don't get too excited. But violent crime, they're really not that high as far as what we think of as

like a murders and rapes, but like a robbery or assault or something, that's a little bit different. And let's find out a couple people from the Woolsey area here who lived in the Woolsey area, not from the Woolsey area. Let's talk about William and Sharon Guthrie. Okay, let's talk about them. William is actually Dr. Dr. William B. Guthrie, but he's not a real doctor. He doesn't.

He couldn't fix you or do anything. He's a Presbyterian minister. Ah, what an asshole. So he's a doctor of theology and religious studies no offense to you if you're religion if you're religious that's fine but i get that a doctor means you know a lot about it but that's not a provable thing that you can really know about it's like i remembered you could at that point like i said you could be a doctor of he-man at that point because you could know everything about he-man and then you're a doctor not saying that religion is fake like he-man my opinion doesn't matter in this you guys do whatever you got to do we're not going to shit on people for their beliefs but the doctor seems silly to put in front of you sorry

you're not a fucking doctor no if you're a doctor fix my shit if not sorry you're not doing it i mean my brother-in-law's a doctor he has a phd in english yeah in english studies but he's a professor so again not a doctor you're not a doctor either sir sorry so you know what i mean it has nothing to do with religion it's just a matter of all right it's not a something that you could prove that you know my english teacher was a doctor too i don't don't don't do that't do that. Stop it. Stop. And then people, professor. Yeah.

And then people get, get an honorary doctorate and they call themselves doctor celebrities. And it's like, you are not Dr. Bill Cosby called himself doctor. It's like,

motherfucker, that is, he's the opposite of a doctor. He is medicating people, putting them in a, and that's the size. He's making them

require a doctor. More like it. Yeah. Stan Lee is essentially Dr. Spider-Man. What the hell? What's the difference? Why not? So. That's more like it, yeah. Stan Lee is essentially Dr. Spider-Man, then. Yeah, what the hell? What's the difference? Sure, why not?

So Dr. Guthrie here. Okay. Not calling him Dr. Guthrie. So William Guthrie, the minister. Fucking Bill. His name is Bill. And that's what he goes by, too, Bill. That's what we're going to ease into calling him Bill.

He's not even earned William yet. Well, Bill here. Dr. Bill. Mary Shannon, or Sharon. I want to call her Shannon for some reason. Mary Sharon in 1966, and they're together for a long time. He's a minister. She works everywhere at medical places.

She does medical accounts billing type of thing. She's more of a doctor than he is. More of a doctor, yes. She could probably actually help you if you were injured more than this guy could, I'm sure. He needs WebMD for sure. He would pray for you, though. He would pray for you. He would. He could get that. He's a doctor of it, so it's going to be a really

good one that's going to work. It's going to work immediately, too. It's not even one of these ones that kicks in later on. The blood, it was like a... You know when you hold the hose and then you let it go? That's what happened to the blood it was like uh you know when you hold the hose yeah you let it go that's what happened to the blood when you said that unbelievable uh the guthrie's here and again apologies if you're religious we're not trying to make fun of you at all it's we're making fun of someone who takes themselves too seriously and calls themselves doctor right yeah sorry be more

humble that's what there you go didn't doesn't the Bible produce that? Like preach that? Be humble. All about it. Have some fucking humility. Jesus didn't call himself Dr. Jesus. I'm sure he knew plenty. He's the founder of this shit. He fucking knew plenty.

His dad was God. I'm sure he knew about God. That's what I mean. So he wasn't Dr. Jesus. He was patient zero of Christianity for Christ's sake. Yes, exactly. Patient zero is a great way to put it. So this couple, they move all over the place.

Oh, Christ. This couple, they move all over the place, Bill and Sharon. They go everywhere, working at different churches. And these pastor-minister types, that's what they do. They move everywhere. They're all over the country. Wherever there's a different church, they stay a place for a few years. They move to a different place. I feel like they go and look to be like the main pastor that settles there.

And like, I don't know if you have to go to five, eight churches before you figure that out, before you find one where you fit or the guy ahead of you dies while you're there. And then you get to take a spot. Like Doc Hollywood? Yeah, I feel like that's what's going on here. They have three daughters early on. They're adults, as we talk about later on in the story. It's Suzanne Jenaloo.

It's an interesting name. Jenaloo. I kind of like it. Yeah. J-E-N-A-L-O-O. Jenaloo. Well, now I don't like it. It's a weird name. Different. It's just weird. Mary Lou? Jenaloo? Right. It's strange. But figure out how to spell Lou. Yeah.

Yeah, with one. That's weird. It sounds Asian. Fucking's strange. But figure out how to spell Lou. Yeah. With one. That's weird. It sounds Asian. Ah, fucking Andrew Jackson sauce. Ladies and gentlemen. Jesus. Andrew Jackson, my partner, folks. Andrew Jackson.

As I said it out of my mouth, in my head it goes, it was your voice going, shut up, Andrew. I said they imported three Mexicans to landscape one of their buildings earlier. So this is just an Andrew Jackson episode. We apologize. We suck. Please find our ignorance charming. Thank you. We mean no harm.

Danielle is the youngest daughter, by the way. Bill, starting basically in the late 80s, is very unhappy with Sharon. Really? He's very unhappy, but he can't get a divorce because he feels like that kind of ruins the whole image that he's putting out there as a doctor. He doesn't want to be divorced. You can't move into a town and talk about how sanctimonious. I can't talk about the sanctity of marriage when I'm divorced. But the thing, too, I would imagine, I would think if you maybe were approaching someone for it, because these people a lot of times, I guess, will go to these guys for advice in their personal lives and their marriage. I would think you would want a guy who's had some like.

I want a guy that's fucked up. He's fucked up or even just his marriage didn't work and he can tell you from experience that this is not how you want to be. I would kind of think that. But in here, they don't. They need a perfect. They need the perfect plastic couple out on the front lawn sitting out there. That's what they need. Plastic.

Well, that's what they need. I get it. They're a symbol more than they are humans. They're like, oh, look, you can trust them. Now give up your money. You know what I mean? The problem with that is the hypocrisy that comes along. Oh, God.

Holy shit. This episode is rank with hypocrisy. Fucking rank with it. I can't wait. It reeks of hypocrisy that comes along. Oh, God. Holy shit. This episode is rank with hypocrisy. Fucking rank with it. I can't wait. It reeks of hypocrisy, man. So, yeah, he can't get a divorce from her. So, in about 1992, he starts confiding in their youngest daughter, Danielle, who's an adult at this point, starts talking to Danielle, saying that he wants a divorce, that he hates

Sharon. Oh, my God. Yeah. And this is for years that he does this. He tells her anything. This is like his person that he's going divorce. That he hates Sharon. Oh my God. Yeah, he says, and this is for years that he does this. He tells her anything. This is like his person that he's going to confide in.

So he talks to her all the time about it. He would tell her that Sharon is so fat and ugly and that she's disgusted him so much that he could not force himself to touch her, is what he said.

So he is brutal. That's unbelievable. And I've seen them both, too, Sharon and Bill. Neither of them are any fucking private. And I don't mean that to be an offense to Sharon, because honestly, I can't imagine you would want, the feeling that you would have of yourself being married to this person for a long time, I would feel would affect your appearance. So I feel bad for the Sharon woman because she's just a dick.

She's in a shit spot and he's a dick and he thinks, and he thinks he's hot shit. Like he thinks he's one of these, he seems to me like one of these guys from everything I've heard and everything I've read and all the different people's accounts. He seems to me like he's one of these guys that thinks like I'm the pastor. I'm the greatest guy around. Right.

Obviously I'm the one that matters. You can count on me. I, my life is perfect everything's perfect i'm doing great hey everything's good and then he's like i don't want to touch this fat pig when he goes home like he's living a shit double life and uh it's his own fault and he should just try to get along with his wife and have some nice anyway here's the other part too it's like if you can talk to the daughter and adore her uh half of her is from

that woman that you're calling that's the other thing yeah so disgusted the whole deal if you can talk to the daughter and adore her, half of her is from that woman that you're calling a fat pig, you dick. That's the other thing. So disgusted in the whole deal. If you adore your children, you can't hate. You don't get to say you hate your spouse. Yeah, it's true. And we've all been disgusted by people we're with from time to time. It's more to do with us than it is to them.

But you know what? You fucking put that in your back pocket and you carry on. You want to be married? You fucking move forward. Yeah. So he's telling her all that. He tells her he wants a divorce and he also says that

she's so disgusting to him that he's impotent. He doesn't know. He's telling his youngest daughter this. He doesn't know whether he's impotent because he finds her repulsive or if he's just impotent. He doesn't know, but he's pretty sure

it's her fault. Put it that way. He's going to blame her for it. He's going to ride that one for it. He's going to blame her on his dick not working, which I don't understand at all. Why don't you blame your Jesus, you dickhead? Yeah, yeah. He can help you. Maybe if you were a doctor. Right, yeah.

If you were a real doctor, maybe you could figure out what's wrong with your dick, buddy. But, sorry. You've got to rely on that old-fashioned praying medicine. What psalm talks about how to make your dick work again? I don't remember that one. So maybe you should study other things if that's what you're interested in. If your main concern is religion, then study the psalms. But if you're concerned about your dick that much, maybe move on to other books, we'll say.

Start with one of the more— I don't know. Or commercials, even. Or anything. Commercials are much more informative than—whatever. I'm going to move on. About dicks? Yeah.

And to be fair, I don't think the Bible claims to know anything about dicks. That's the other thing. The Bible does not claim to want to fix your limp dick at all. But it does claim to know what you should use it for and when you should definitely. But if it's not working, that's on you. That's your problem. You've got to find a real doctor at that point. So we're going to offend all the religious listeners.

We have people that are religious. Apologies, but we're trying to be as friendly as possible about this. Starting in 1994, he's had enough with the whole thing. He's had enough with her, but rather than just get a divorce and save everybody a lot of trouble and move on with his life and try to make do or make up, try to make amends with the church about that whole situation

and do that and, you know, be an adult and a man about it. A grown-up. Rather than that, he starts an affair in 1994 with a married woman named Debbie Christensen. Well, I mean, they're both married. They're both married, which is even worse. Yeah.

Because this is a person who comes to his church. So not only is he fucking his wife over, but he's also screwing over one of his parishioners. He's fucking the audience. It's terrible. You don't fuck the audience. No, you don't. You don't fuck the audience here. This is not great.

This is while he's serving as a pastor in Orleans, Nebraska. Okay. So he's down in Orleans, Nebraska, which I can't imagine is just probably as much to do there as there is in Woolsey. He's excited to get to Woolsey for the goat races. That's how little's going on in Orleans, Nebraska. He's out there getting road pussy. Yeah.

Well, they live there at this point. Oh, okay. I thought you were saying he was on the... They traveled. Okay. They lived a few years here, a few years there, and they happen to be living there in the early 90s, and he meets Debbie Christensen and starts getting it on.

And they tried to keep it secret, obviously. That would be the smart thing to do for him. But there's rumors everywhere. It's a tiny town. The church, you can't be banging around in a tiny town. Everyone's going to know about it. It's the way it is. You don't just show up somewhere with her and you didn't just run into each other.

Why? Why is your hand on her ass? That's that. We know. Oh, you guys were just having a meeting at the motel down the street there. Yeah. OK. So, yeah, she's also an elder in the church, too.

So she's like, this is bad. The pastor and one of the elders. This this is a scandal for a church. Fucking a co-worker and the audience and the audience together. And especially in this environment, really not great. So not great. And the rumors got to be so much that his superiors at the church suggested, you know what?

Maybe another town for you. What do you say? Maybe you kind of, what do you say? You don't want to be here. You don't want to be in Orleans, do you? Why don't you go somewhere else? What do you say here? Now, he denied everything.

He told his boss that no, that didn't happen. He told the congregation. He gathered them together. This is a vicious lie. Really? They're trying to put me in a bad spot, and it's not true. He persisted. He said, doesn't even matter if I wanted to.

I couldn't because I cannot consummate a sexual act because I am impotent. Wow. Impotent. Wow. Impotent. Unbelievable. Telling everybody that he can. My dick does not work. That's desperation.

Praise Jesus. Have a good Sunday. That's when you're desperate, when you pull that card. At church? Yeah, I would say. It's even more desperate. These people came for a fucking sermon and he's like, let me tell you about my dick and it not working. And they're like, what is going on here?

If anybody here has heard a rumor that i'm sleeping with her uh listen i can't even i can't even you come on up here right now try to jerk me off i dare you nothing happens nothing guaranteed right now watch i got the lip this dick in this town baby bring it on bitch i'm passing this around my collection plate let's Let's go. Come on. Get your fist on it. Everybody lay hands upon me. Let's go now. Come on. So July 1996, they locate, the family relocates to Wolsey, South Dakota. And July of 1996, he begins as a pastor for the First Presbyterian Church in Wolsey.

The congregation loved him. He's apparently a magnetic guy in the church. Numerous people said it's, quote, the best sermon that they had ever had when he was there. He was the, I don't know what guy they had in there before. I don't know what kind of talent gets attracted. I don't know if it's like comedy where the good talent kind of goes good places. Right.

You know what I mean? If you're playing Wolsey fucking South Dakota, I feel like you're not that good. If you're going to like a local showcase in Kansas City, it's probably not going to be as good as one in New York. You know what I mean? So it's one of those. So this guy was probably like an open mic-er, this pastor they had before. And this guy comes in, he's actually got like a good 10 minutes, and these people are like,

holy shit, this is amazing. Did you hear that? He quoted the Bible. Fucking A. He called out the song, verse, and everything. He's a doctor. That's a doctor. That's a doctor. That's a doctor right there.

That's a goddamn doctor. They don't say goddamn. No, they probably don't. So they love him. Everything's great. And he's up there, out of sight, out of mind. But not quite, because he's still banging this broad down in Nebraska. In Kansas?

Oh, not really? In Kansas. Yeah, he goes down to both of them. It's terrible. He would say that he's attending counseling with the other – because they do like pastor counseling sessions where they all get together and talk about shit. And then the elder pastors tell them how to help their flock or whatever. That's kind of what they do here. So he would go there and he would also go to Kansas and he would say that he was having meetings or church meetings or that sort of thing.

And he would meet up in motels in Kansas and Nebraska with Debbie Christensen. And, oh, by the way, dick working fine. Yeah. He could fucking cut glass with this thing when he's in a motel room in Kansas. It only works in Kansas. Sorry, it's regional. It's regional. You know what I mean?

It's a regional dick. It's one of those regional dicks. You've heard a lot about it, I'm sure. So for years, everyone knows about the regional dicks. It doesn't work everywhere. It's like a phone plan. It's like if I call from here, it's going to be roaming. It's going to be terrible.

My dick's not going to work. My dick's in roaming. I'm sorry. Unbelievable. So over the years, they talk about him being single at some point. They could be together. And they start talking about this. They both being single at some point they could be together and they start talking about this they both want to be single so they can get together blah blah blah she actually gets a divorce whoa she actually she followed through church elder actually i mean

maybe she also realized if i'm having an affair with this guy for years maybe i don't really like my husband maybe i'll divorce him i don't know how what her point was but uh she got a divorce and she was like your turn yeah and uh he didn't want to get a divorce because if he gets a divorce and then hooks up with this chick who he's been saying he hasn't been seeing forever, he just looks terrible. Then amidst the affair, he's a liar and the ministry, he's going to have a bad reputation. Put it that way. Terrible. Unbelievable.

Finally, she said she told him she was tired of sneaking around, tired of the whole thing, which I don't blame her. It's been like seven years now. It's hard to live a lie when you're banging that much. Shit or get off the pot with this already. It's seven years now. Either divorce your wife and get with this woman or don't.

Don't lead her on to the addition of screwing your wife over. So January of 1999 is when things get really interesting. She tells him at this point, Debbie tells Bill, relationship over. Sorry. Sorry, Pastor Guthrie. Got to go. Relationship's over.

She said it was time to start seeing other people for her because she was divorced for a couple of years. But she left open the possibility that if he ever got a divorce or ever left Sharon, that they could date and see how it went. Sidney, I'm more than open to dating you if you're single, but you're not single, so whatever. They continued to talk over the telephone about three times a week. They would talk on the phone. They met and got together and got their banging on again in February. Wow.

So after she broke it off, I guess she, I don't know, she needed another. Went back for a goodbye fuck or something? I guess so. I don't know what it is here. The Guthrie, Sharon, and Bill, they had a computer, too, that he would probably do correspondence with her. Sharon didn't know shit about that. This was also 1999, when not everyone, like now, even my grandmother could probably check her email. Maybe not my grandmother.

This is one senile, one's from another country, so they don't know shit. As long as that computer's white. Yeah, oh boy, a computer better be white than my other grandmother. It's one senile, one's from another country, so they don't know shit. As long as that computer's white. Yeah, oh boy. A computer better be white than my other grandmother. I don't trust it. I don't need cold cuts that bad. So she doesn't know it. And back in 99, there was people who were just like, I can't turn a computer on.

And they just waved it off and they didn't care. She had access to the computer but didn't know shit about the internet. I feel like they still got MS-DOS too. They didn't get windows 95 or 98 her daughter actually showed her twice how to use like a web bra like how to get on oh they got they got windows 95 and all she would do though is she would send and receive email and she just knew how to get on her email check her email like old people in the late 90s you get on your email you check your email done she knew nothing about about the internet search history and she yeah she She knew nothing about the internet. Search history.

Yeah. She had no interest in the internet. She didn't even want to know about it. She's just like, I don't care. This shit's going away. That's what people would think, too. And a lot of people thought that. A couple other things about her.

One of her, she's not a real exciting woman. She works at the medical place. She's a pastor's wife. She lives in Wolsey. She has no interest in the internet. Right. Her favorite drink is chocolate milk. Wow. Favorite drink is chocolate milk.

She drinks it every... How did you find that out? I haven't slept in days. I'm up these people's asses, trust me. She drank... Plus, you'll find out it comes in. But she drank it every day. Really?

Chocolate milk. Loves chocolate milk. Every morning she needs chocolate milk to start today she's a she's a young at heart jimmy she's young at heart now you who won't do no god no that's chocolate water which is i love you who i fucking love you so much and so do you it's great and i love fudge sickles because that's just frozen you who and that's all it is it's absolutely frozen they're amazing i swear to god you melt about five fudgesicles. You got yourself a can of Yoo-Hoo right there.

I know it for a fact. Someone try that. Someone try that experiment. I don't know how many would equal. Just melt a 12-pack of them. I don't know how many would equal 11 ounces of liquid because Yoo-Hoo is 11 and not 12 because you need that extra space to shake it. A fudgesicle is probably like two and a half ounces.

Is it that much? Probably take six of them. Yeah, probably five, six of them. It's probably a couple shots. Throw it in there. Yeah. I'm going to do it. That's an experiment.

Everyone out there, get yourself some fudgesicles and some Yoo-Hoo and compare and contrast. So I've been wanting to do it for years. So this is the shit I think about. This is what's wrong with me. Unbelievable. I think fudgesicles and Yoo-Hoos are very much alike. wrong with me. Unbelievable.

I think fudgesicles and yoo-hoo's are very much alike. So early 1999, Suzanne, Jenna Liu, and Danielle, all three daughters knew that their father was unhappy in the marriage. At this point, he might as well be wearing a hat that says, this marriage sucks. Might as well have had that on. And she's wearing a shirt with an arrow pointing that says, I'm with limp dick. I'm with limp dick. And then she's got another one that says, got milk. She, that says I'm with limp dick. I'm with limp dick. And then she's got another one that says got milk. Because she really wants John Wilkinson.

She's got two t-shirts. That's all she owns, this poor woman. I feel bad for Sharon, I really do. Yeah. Wow. So he told Suzanne, who was the oldest daughter, that he no longer loved Sharon, and he planned to get a divorce after Jenna Lou is married in June. Jenna Lou's got a mid-June,

I think June 7th, actually, wedding date for 1999. Suzanne had just gotten married earlier, and there was a scene at her wedding. There was a couple of— Really? There was a little bit of drama at the wedding with that sort of thing with Sharon and something. But Jenna Lou is getting married in June, and he's telling—Bill is telling the daughters, we're getting a divorce after this wedding. Wow. That's going to be last family time. So enjoy, basically, he's telling her Bill is telling the daughters, we're getting a divorce after this wedding. So that's going to be the last family time.

So enjoy, basically, he's telling her, which is crazy. Can you imagine? He starts a clock. There's a countdown. That's unbelievable. That's horrible. I'm giving her papers right after you say I do. Thanks, Dad. You just fucked my entire wedding.

Yeah, well, yeah. She's going to know. Everybody's going to know. He's going to be sitting there at the wedding telling everybody, how's it? You enjoying it? Beautiful ceremony, right? You know what's really great about this wedding? Last time I happened to see that fat pig.

Did she say I do yet? Okay. Sharon, we have to talk. I'm sorry. I've been wearing that t-shirt and that hat around. You might have wondered why I was wearing that. Well, let me explain. At the reception, as soon as she says I do, he's like, oh, single.

Where are the bridesmaids? Yeah, I was going to say, he's going out hitting on brothers. Yeah, look at you. Come here, honey. He's like being all scumbag about it. Hitting on the wife's sister. Definitely. So early 99, some weird things start to happen.

We'll call them mishaps, we'll say. In court documents, they're called curious mishaps. So I'm going to call them just mishaps. In one case here, there was a cord that had been stretched across the steps to the basement, like a trip wire type of thing. What? Sharon, while she was telling her family members about it, said that Bill wanted her to come downstairs, down to the basement.

She said when her foot touched the cord, she sat down on the steps. Nice. She didn't go forward. She put her ass down on the steps. Nice. She didn't go forward. She put her ass down on the steps like, what the hell? And she said she recalled Bill grabbing her shoulder to keep her from falling, yet she still told Suzanne on the phone, somebody tried to kill me. Yeah. But she didn't say like, your father put a fucking cord across the bed.

I don't know if she thought someone came in and put a trip wire like it's Home Alone. Yeah. Somehow Kevin McAllister got in here. Kevin! Watch out for matchbox cars under the window upstairs because it's ridiculous. There are broken ornaments fucking everywhere. Don't walk around barefoot. The blowtorch getting into the back door.

Yeah. So she tells Suzanne, somebody tried to kill me. Suzanne calls her dad up like, what the fuck here? Bill is pissed off that Suzanne knows about it. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. How do you know about this? He's mad because he said he told Sharon not to tell anybody about it because he was going to go discuss it with the sheriff that someone's trying to kill my wife, putting tripwires in my damn basement steps. But I'll tell everybody about my limp dick.

That's fine. I'll tell the whole congregation. But this, how dare she tell you the daughter that someone's trying to kill her. So he's very, very upset. The next day, though, he told, he was mad that night. And the next day, he was like, it was no big deal anyway. We figured out what it was. It was just that Sharon stepped on her shoelace.

And she just got a little freaked out by it. You know how mom is. Clothing wires and shoestrings strings it's easy to she's a little high strung to forget it's yeah you know it's here so uh yeah uh suzanne's husband came over to the house to look at this shit and see what was going on and he examines the stairs a few days later and he sees that two stairs down from the top there's tar and nails all over he found he found shavings on the side like someone had drilled a hole and there was

fresh wood shavings on the carpet. So somebody drilled trying to make it loose. They screwed in those little hook things and put a fucking wire on it basically. What an asshole. He set up he got out tools for this. He didn't just leave them. He went down to

Sears and got a black & Decker for this shit. He had to go to the last Sears. He didn't even leave a boot on the step and undo the light bulb so she can't see it and be like, maybe she'll trip. He got a drill out. He put eye hole. He had to charge it. He's like, shit, I haven't used it in four months. He had to wait for it to charge.

As soon as this charges, I'm going to kill this bitch, I swear to God. But I've got to wait for it. I've got to wait for that green light. I will not go halfway because the battery's not going to last as long that way. The lifetime of it's going to die. I need the whole cycle. Although Sears guarantees forever, so it's fine. We're good with Sears.

As long as it's Craftsman. As long as it's Craftsman, which I'm sure it wasn't here. As long as it's Craftsman, which I'm sure it wasn't here. Hey, guys, just going to take a real quick break from the show to tell you about an upcoming show of ours that you might want to come see in Hollywood at the Hollywood Improv. What's the date on that, Jimmy? That is October 7th at 8 p.m. with Dan Cummins. We are Cummins soon. Do you feel like it, Danny? Oh, your pun.

That was a terrible pun, but it's okay. coming soon. Do you feel like it? That was a terrible pun, but it's okay. It's going to be us and Dan Cummins from the very popular and amazingly funny good friend of ours Time Suck podcast that you should also be listening to. Get out there. It'll be the three of us doing comedy.

One show. One show only. One night only. Very limited availability in Hollywood, California at the Improv. And where might they get those tickets, Jimmy? Hollywood.Improv.com. Hollywood.Improv.com. October 7th, 8 p.m., me, James, Dan Cummins.

Probably that order. That sounds like a night. That sounds like a night. Guys, I hope to see you there. If you can't make it, tell your friends in L.A., let's pack the place with Time Sucks, Small Town Murder, and Crime and Sports fans, and let's make it... And let's make it a night to remember for everybody. Let's have a good time Time Sucks, Small Town Murder, and Crime and Sports fans and let's make it a night to remember for everybody.

Let's have a good time. We're going to be hanging out. We'll come talk to everybody that comes after the show. It's going to be a good time. No one will be turned away from socialization. Hope to see you there, guys. And now back to the show. On the other side of the wall there, it's like a concrete base, and there was a hole there, and Suzanne's husband said it was a place where it looked like something had been glued and then pulled off,

but there was actually something that appeared round there, so you could see like the— Like a suction cup of some sort? Something like that, like a round indentation or mark that it left that you can see that it's no longer there. That's one incident. Another occasion here, there's the light in the bathroom was not working. So rather than fix the light, which is normally what I would do. You guys do. Or light a candle if the electricity is messed up or something.

Use a flashlight. They do something different here. Sharon really needs to wash her hair in the bathtub even though it's dark. I don't know what she had a big day the next day. She needed to get her hair did now. So he said, here, use the toaster. Almost. That's

the sad part. He brought a lamp in. What the fuck? He's like, I'll just bring this lamp in so you could watch. And then the lamp fell over. Of course it did. Shocking, right? Shocking, you? Shocking. You bastard. So she figured

she thought the dog bumped into it. She said, well, the dog knocked the lamp over. That happens all the time. That's normal. But Guthrie was there to catch it. He was there to catch it and he thought he got an electrical shock because of some water there from the incident and went to the emergency room to be treated.

There's a Dr. Richard Reed who admitted him. A real actual doctor who knows things, who can admit you to a hospital for examination and observation. He looked him over, being a doctor that he is, and he could find no physical manifestation of electrical shock in a whole night. The doctor said that, got three here, Bill was, quote, extremely anxious, breathing very rapidly, and nervous, and complained about a lot of pain in various parts of his body. Sweet Pete. But there's nothing wrong with it. He's just making all kinds of excuses just to try to get treatment. It's so weird.

Just to have something on record. That's what it is. That's what it is. She didn't try to die. I tried to die. I almost died. I almost died. Not her. Not her. She's fine. April 15 what it is. That's what it is. She didn't try to die. I tried to die. I almost died. I almost died. Not her.

She's fine. April 15th, 1999. You know, Dr. Reed was like, how you doing? There's nothing wrong. And he's like, listen, doctor, I'm a doctor also. Listen, Bill. Calm down, Bill. Listen, Dr. Bill. Calm down, all right, pal. This is just remnants of the shock from the light. Calm down, Bill.

You're no doctor. You're not a doctor, Bill. You don't know what you're doing or how to diagnose yourself. You don't even know how to kill somebody, Bill. You're fucking bad at this, Bill. You're not a doctor. Jesus. A doctor would kill her. You're wearing a hat that says you hate your wife. You're not throwing anyone off the trail, Bill. God damn it.

So, April 15, 1999, Bill brings Sharon to the clinic, medical clinic, with the complaint that she couldn't wake up. She couldn't wake up. She couldn't wake up. She's too groggy. She's, quote, completely out of it. He told clinic personnel twice at this point.

He told them, quote, I didn't do anything to her. She's all fucked up, but I didn't do nothing. It's not me. There's an examining physician here, a guy named Dr. Jeff Hansen. Dr. Jeff Hansen. He couldn't find a thing wrong with Sharon. They did a urine test on her toxicology screen and it revealed no drugs. Although the

screen wouldn't have revealed the presence of Benadryl, which is a he tells everybody that she takes shitloads of Benadryl to sleep all the time. She'll take 15, 20 of them, which is like a lot. That'll hurt somebody, won't it? Yeah.

Guthrie told the doctor, and this is silly here, he told the doctor, and this is a seed he's trying to plant, that while sleepwalking, Sharon might have taken Benadryl and codeine, because that's what I do. I take drugs in my sleep, usually. Absolutely. That's what I do. I get up, and I'm like, where is that narcotic? I need something that's really going to fuck me up, even though I'm sleeping.

In between snoring. Yeah. That's definitely something I've mumbled. I need codeine. She could remember nothing of the incident. She didn't remember anything from that day the next day. She was like, I don't know what the hell happened. She did believe it was her fault, though, because she said that she had overdosed on her allergy medication, Benadryl, and herbal diet pills.

She OD'd on Benadryl, and herbal diet pills. Okay. So she OD'd on Benadryl and herbal diet pills, which I don't know if that's possible. Anything could be in those herbal diet pills, so I have no idea. I mean, who knows? Honestly, those aren't regulated for shit. It's A to Z. Yeah. Zinc.

It's got everything. It's centrum. But that could be some shit from herbal diet pill, though. That could be some weird, in 99, that could be some weird ephedrine could be some god uh you know ephedrine type thing anything could be anything back then uh she wanted to lose weight before her daughter's wedding she felt bad about herself and by the way at her daughter's wedding how she was so excited to go because jenna lou is going to be wearing her dress that she got married in she's she's re re that's amazing repurposing her mom's dress wearing it too so she says she wants to look

good and lose weight before her daughter's wedding uh she said that you know her she hated being overweight and she said her husband you know she thought that bill didn't like her because of it so she was like thinking it was her fault which is so fucking sad yeah but this guy's just an asshole and he doesn't like she's taking pills to lose weight like fucking saved by the bell she she told her daughter this is the saddest thing. This is so sad. She told her daughter once, quote, as soon as I lose weight, Bill is going to take me on a cruise. I'm like, that's so fucking sad.

Jesus Christ. This lady feels like she has to be like worthy to be taken on a cruise by her husband. I'm like, that's so fucking sad. That's like a kid saying, you know, as soon as mom says, as soon as I stop doing this, they're going to take me to McDonald's. It's just so sad. It's like, Jesus Christ. Mom says as soon as I get straight A's, Dad's coming back. Yeah, that's almost what it is.

It's just so sad. So April 29th, 1999, Bill goes to the clinic complaining of insomnia. He sees a physician there. They talk about sleeping medications. She says what about Ambien? He says no. He's taken Ambien and Xanax in the past. Neither of them were good.

His medical records going back over 10 years say nothing of sleeping problems or any prescription. Any sleep related prescriptions at all. Xanax is amazing. That shit is incredible. He didn't know that at this point. So he just said, that shit doesn't work.

So they found something else that he thought was a little better, which was temazepam. Okay. Temazepam. And temazepam, which is restoril is the other name for it. That's what they agree on here. They say, he says he'll do that. The root word is rest for one of them. The other one is time.

Like, that's terrifying. Temazepam is the one. Temazepam. T-E-M. Temazepam. And then Restorol. So it is a sleep aid, and it's highly addictive. And when you look up all the shit about it,

because obviously I looked up all these medications, they all say, like, do not take, if you have any history of drug dependency, any issue of this any issue of that. You will get hooked on this shit and it's going to be your thing basically. It'll make you tired, make you feel good. You're going to end up needing a doctor to give you a drip like Michael Jackson if you get on this.

Yeah, eventually that's what it's going to lead to. Now this doctor had reservations about giving it to him because of the side effects which is residual drowsiness the day after you take it. Yeah. So you just feel groggy the whole time. But he gets his prescription, 15 capsules, 30 milligrams each, and three refills on there. 30 mils. 30 milligrams.

I don't know what the strength of this drug is. That seems like a lot. I'm not sure. He's supposed to take one capsule at bedtime. bedtime. So later on that day, after he gets this prescription, he tells his wife that he needs to, that he lost the prescription. He tells her that, so he, would you call in another one, see if the doctor will write another one, because I can't find the prescription. It's gone. So she called the doctor and said, you know, my husband lost a prescription. Would you mind calling in a second one for him? She said, no problem.

She calls in the prescription to a Stats Drug, which is the drugstore there. Bill goes to Kmart later that afternoon and gets his prescription filled. Yeah. Jesus, filling your prescriptions at Kmart. Two hours later, he goes to Stats Drug and gets the other one filled. Okay. So now he's got two prescriptions now. So Sharon picked up the refill at Stats Drug. And the next day, he picked up another refill at Kmart.

Holy shit. So now he's got all three. He's got 60 pills now. Those are 15 apiece. So four times 15. Four times. Jesus. Four times 15. So now he's got 60 pills, which is way more than he needs here. That's a lot. He's stockpiling. And this is by, is less than two weeks. He's gathered that many pills up already. So May 14th, 1999, it's 7 a.m. Bill is at church. Church is like right next door. Yeah, he's at church. He comes home. Guthrie was morning routine. He leaves the house and goes over there for about 10 minutes of, quote, prayer and devotion. Yeah, goes over

there, does his thing, whatever. So he gets going in the morning. When he returns, though, prayer and devotion. Yeah. Goes over there, does his thing, whatever. That's how he gets going in the morning. When he returns, though, he says he notices that the hallway floor was wet. He thought that was really weird. So he opened the bathroom door and Sharon was in the tub. Oh. Unconscious. Uh-oh. In the tub.

He said he tried to pull her out of the tub, but she was just too heavy for him to get out of the tub. But he said she's just too heavy. Yeah. So first of all, if you want to get your wife out of the fucking tub that bad, you fucking figure it out. At least get her fucking head out. At minimal, pull the drain plug, dickhead. Something. So that's what he does.

He pulls the drain plug, drains the water, calls for help, calls 911. People that get there, which are like his daughter, some people from neighbors, police, everybody, they notice that he's not wet and only his knee is wet, which is interesting. Drug it across the tub, checking her pulse to make sure she's dead. Or he kneeled down on one knee on the carpet, which was wet, and then got back up. That's exactly what happened. Didn't get down and put his arms in the tub and try to get her out, which is what you would do. Yeah. You wouldn't care about getting wet.

Like, oh, she's a little moist. I don't want to do that. So he's not wet. Only his knee was wet. Also, he had no shoes or socks on when they pulled up. He took his shoes off so they didn't get. Which is strange because he just got back from church. He said, I walked in the door from church, walked up to the bathroom,

saw the water and went in there. And so somehow he took his shoes off at some point. Yeah. There she was. She is unconscious and naked in the bathtub. She is face down in an empty tub is how they find her. That's how the medical people find her. They say that Bill was, quote, on his hands and knees sobbing and asking for help.

Two EMTs pulled her out and moved her to a hallway to perform CPR. Now, they were soaked with water from pulling her out and getting CPR. And the tub was empty. And the tub was empty. And the tub was empty. They were soaked from doing CPR, but he struggled to get her out of the tub and didn't get a fucking drop on him. Wow. Maybe he is Jesus. Maybe. Maybe he's Jesus. The water parts when he tries

to pull her out. Dr. Jesus. There he is, right here. We knew there was a Dr. Jesus somewhere in here. Wow. Ambulance leaves and a nurse comes, a woman named Bonnie Doche. She's a nurse who she's one of the people who attempts to resuscitate Sharon. She offers to take Bill to the hospital.

She helps him gather himself and put his shoes and socks on and calm down and all that. Now at the hospital, Sharon regained some heart activity in the emergency room. Oh, that's great. Which is amazing and there's some hope but then she never ends up being able to breathe on her own and never recovers any brain function.

And by the next day, May 15th, 1999, she's dead at 54. So young woman, very sad, you know, especially too. She doesn't seem like she's had the best life. The most, it seems like she's just been kind of knocked around. She was on the four-door cruise for Pete's sake. Yeah, this poor woman, man. That's so sad. Now, Dr. Brad Randall, who's a forensic pathologist, performs an autopsy the next day.

Obviously, they want to figure out what the hell happened here. They do the toxicology report, and they confirm the presence of diazepam, lorazepam, which are anti-anxiety, and oxazepam, something like that. It's a sedative, basically. Also, he said that they had to have been taken within four hours for drowning because they were only partially digested, these pills. for drowning because they were only partially digested, these pills. Also to present was a debilitating level of temazepam, which we've talked about, Restorol, but it's not a fatal overdose, but a debilitating. Enough to render her immobile.

Immobile, there you go. The level in her system was enough to render her unconscious is what he stated. Jesus. So that's a lot. Not enough to kill her. The doctor estimated she ingested about 20 temazepam capsules. Wow. Which you can't do that accidentally.

No. They're basically saying there's no way to accidentally take 20 of these pills. This is on purpose. They're big capsules. You don't, you know. It said that she drowned because, quote, because she was incapacitated from the temazepam dose. In her judgment, her death was not natural or accidental, but the autopsy alone couldn't resolve whether it was suicide or homicide. That's where they're at now. Did she take all these on purpose and drown in the tub or what happened here?

Those are the four ways that they can conclusively title a death. Like we've said before, exactly. So they have to figure that out. So there's only two left. It's not natural. It's not accidental. Is it homicide or suicide? What else is there here?

Did she do it or somebody else did it? That's it. That's the only thing we got. So after the death here, Bill gives conflicting accounts of the drowning, obviously. How is he given any fucking account? You weren't there, Bill. Shut up. Of what showed up.

That's the thing. He's given different accounts. He reported to a deputy Sheridan. Of what showed up. That's the thing. He's given different accounts. He reported to a deputy Sheridan. The version he gave to deputy Sheridan is way different than the one he gave to his daughter, Suzanne. In front of Suzanne, he claimed that he got Sharon out of the tub himself and then called 911.

And then he's telling them something different. Sharon's brother, Larry Provence, said that when he was in their home, in Bill and Sharon's home, after her death, he heard Bill explain the circumstances several times of what happened. And each time the details were different. Wow. So we listened to him like five times, tell the story, never the same twice, which is kind of why cops ask, tell me that story one more time. Right. Because they're looking for you to fuck up. And that's, he can't even get it right in his own living room.

So never mind if you get this guy in a fucking interrogation room jesus christ i don't even know if this is a title executive presbyter that he's the head pastor executive executive presbytery presbyter that's uh william davis said that uh guthrie bill had told him the night before uh that he had, this was in the morning when he was at church before the death. He said he went over there and he had talked to him and he said that Bill had been awakened around midnight because Sharon was sleepwalking and blah, blah, blah. So Guthrie just went over to the church to work on a sermon, you know, whatever. This is what I mean.

He said he left for 10 minutes earlier. Now later on he's telling them. He's gone all night. He said, well, no, he said he was up at midnight but he said in the morning he was there for an hour okay working on his sermon uh and he came back later to find water running out of the bathroom and down the stairs here's the thing too if you're gonna kill somebody um figure out how what your story is for like this oh yeah yeah no he has no this guy should have never killed anybody ever because if he has to go work on a 10 minute sermon for an hour.

Yeah. Wing it. Just wing it. Wing that shit. Yeah. Come on. You should be able to. You know, you're a doctor.

Bullet points. You're a doctor for God's sake. But this fucking guy, he has to work for an hour on a 10 minute sermon. How are you going to get a five minute story about how your wife died? You can't get that right. There's only like four factors. I walked in. I did this. I did that. There's only like four factors. I walked in. I did this.

I did that. It's not like it's a complicated thing. Walk away. He does. When they ask other questions, say, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah.

He told his pastor that he tried to resuscitate her, like give her CPR. But then he told Deputy Sheridan that he didn't because he didn't know CPR. So he's telling people I'm performing CPR. It's crazy. He thought, it's funny too, because Davis, the pastor here, thought it was strange that in the conversation about the death, Bill told him, we were getting along so great. I don't understand it. When previously he had confided in his pastor that he wanted a divorce. So he's like, now you're getting along great.

We're doing great. What's with the hat, Bill? What's with the hat? What's with that hat, Bill? At least don't wear it to the funeral. Can you not wear the hat to the funeral, please? So they have the funeral. Bill wears the hat.

A week after the funeral, he tries to reconnect with Debbie Christensen. Wow. He tries to hook up with her. A week later. He's like George Costanza trying to hook up with marissa tomei going uh my weekend i got the funeral but after that i'm wide open like that's what he's doing free uh yeah he's frank from it's always sunny trying to bang the fucking great exactly uh she said no um you know what the hell and uh he got mad at her and said well it didn't take you very long to betray me. That's what he told her.

She's like, OK, you're insane. So they're looking into him. They're a little concerned with him. And what they do is they look at the computer at the church. They look into that here. They're a little more computer savvy than his wife. Than his wife is. Yeah, they found that his computer had been used to conduct numerous Internet searches on subjects that are seriously, seriously related to the shit that happened.

Very, very specific. Some of them were not connectable to any date. I don't know if their forensic Internet shit wasn't as good as it is now. Others could be pinpointed to specific days in the months before there. Remember the lamp in the bathroom incident? That whole thing? Two days before that, the church computer had been used for two hours to conduct specific searches using, God, the queries were household accidents and, quote, bathtub accidents. That's what he was searching for two fucking hours. It takes this guy to search that.

What a shit doctor. He's not a computer science doctor. No, he is not. During April, he did tons of searches on household accidents. The church computer was also used to check out details about prescription drugs. He used a search engine to look for medications like lorazepam, avatin, ambien, and TCA. Various web pages were downloaded from drug manufacturers and other sites all describing these drugs, their purposes.

And he's basically WebMD-ing all these different drugs. And he's staring at the computer going, I wish I'd been a real fucking doctor. God, this would be great. What the hell is that? He stuttered through the names of them like we're doing right now. The brads of Pam? Okay, good. Shit, I should have been a doctor.

They couldn't find the date on this one, but one of the searches had a website that was promoted. He found a link to a book entitled, quote, Worst Pills, Best Pills, A Consumer's Guide to Avoiding Drug-Induced Death or Illness. Holy shit. That's what he's looking at. Bit incriminating. Funny thing is, among the 160 do not use prescriptions was Restorol or Tamazapan, as we know. It warns that this medication carries dangerous side effects if taken improperly and consequences, like I was talking about. They warn you like crazy.

Overdose symptoms here. Confusion, reduced or absent reflexes, respiratory depression, apnea, impaired coordination, slurred speech, seizures, and ultimately coma and death. So it's – He's like, that's the one I want. You don't want to take a shitload of those here. The last internet drug search was April 27th, which – and then two days later he was at the doctor trying to get drugs. So two days it took him to do that. He was at the doctor trying to get drugs.

So two days it took him to do that. On May 4th, a church computer used again, specifically searching for temazepam. Now that's all he's interested in now. Theory of the, after much investigation, Sharon loves her morning chocolate milk. Oh, this motherfucker. Every day she loves her morning chocolate milk. And Restorol comes in capsules. You can open that. that can be unscrewed. You just twist them open like an old school and you can dump the contents into anything.

And the crazy thing is it's a powder in there. It's not like little balls. It's a powder completely tasteless and odorless. Totally tasteless and odorless. Dissolves entirely. Yep. Everything else like Ambien and Xanax that we discussed with the other one, they're not easily dissolved. They don't dissolve in liquid.

But on the other hand, this temazepam, you would never fucking know it's in there. Yeah. And also, too, the odd thing is, too, when the pathologist, forensics, when they did the autopsy and they looked in Sharon's stomach and they found that she had a lot of Restorol in there, Tamazepam. They thought it was very unusual that there was no capsule remnants in there. Yeah, that's weird. Drugs all through her system. Where's the capsule? She's got enough drugs where she took it recently.

But there's no remnants of the capsule. Remnants of all the other shit. No remnants of CACs. Almost like somebody put it in her chocolate or something. Crazy, right? He found pieces of other medications in non-toxic amounts, which is the shit she would take anyway. Yeah, so they said she would not have been able to detect it in her chocolate milk at all. Awful.

Yeah, no way. And after her death, a friend came over to clean up the house. She wiped up what she thought was flour on the kitchen counter. Oh, no. Sharon was actually allergic to flour. They did have it in the house, but it wouldn't have been out on the counter being used because she was allergic to it. He left the shit. He left some.

He left some. I mean, this guy's a terrible criminal. He's the worst. He's fucking awful at it. I hope he's a better doctor than criminal. No doubt. Also, still more chocolate milk cartons in the refrigerator here. Unbelievable.

So they did tons of interviews and things like that. And they basically everyone describes Sharon described Sharon and Bill's relationship. They are having serious problems. Everybody knew about his affairs. It was a common thing. They said that he was verbally abusive to her and Bill had a temper. One witness that is a friend of Sharon's told people that Sharon said that they hadn't been intimate since their move from Nebraska three years earlier. So at least three years.

Three years with no sex. I mean, he was getting plenty. Well, and he claimed, this is an odd thing too, he claimed that he couldn't perform as a result of being sexually abused. Okay. Super weird. Most everybody, all the witnesses they interviewed also were aware of the affair and knew that Sharon knew about it.

So this was like out in the open. But he keeps saying that he was sexually abused in Nebraska when he was an adult here before they just moved here. Nobody wants an overweight pastor to abuse. No. Stop it, man. It's so weird. And said that he was receiving counseling in Nebraska for the abuse. That was part of the counseling he was going.

I have to go for my sex abuse counseling. And so this sounds like more shit. I'm going to go sexually abuse Ms. Christensen. of the counseling he was going. I have to go for my sex abuse counseling. And so this is basically I'm going to go sexually abuse Miss Christensen. That's what he's doing here. Yeah. I also just talked to the daughters. Even Danielle said that she knew after the June 7th wedding that he said he was miserable and unhappy and planning on getting a divorce. Even the youngest daughter was aware of the affair. She said that Sharon had found love letters from the woman from Christensen to Bill in Bill's pants pocket. So this guy is not slick. He leaves poison on the counter. He leaves love letters in his pants pocket. I don't think he's doing his own laundry, this fucking guy, either.

And also, too, the daughters all said that, yeah, we knew when he was going to counseling in Nebraska, we knew he was going to bang his girlfriend here. So August 27th, 1999, with all this evidence, he is indicted for first-degree murder. Three days later, he appears for arraignment. He is ordered held without bond. Sorry, we don't trust you to even go hang out at the church. He pleads not guilty. Hey, me. I'm religious.

I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor. Doctor Jesus. I wouldn't do this shit. What are you talking about? Don't look at my hat. So January 10th, 2000, jury trial begins. If he's convicted, well, if they decide that it's murder, it's the first murder in six years in Beatle County.

Wow. So there's not a lot of murder here. This is a big deal. This is going to get some attention. Yeah. A whole issue of the whole case is whether it was a murder or suicide. That's obviously the whole thing. State calls.

Everybody calls. Doctors, computer specialists that did our thing, law enforcement officials, the executive Presbyterian guy there, all the daughters. Mr. Presbyter. Mr. Presbyter. They get everybody in there. The state calls a guy named Dr. Alan Berman, and this comes up to be a sticking point. He is a clinical psychologist and a suicidologist. Yeah.

He's the executive director of the American Association of Suicidology. Okay. That's the first time I've heard that word ever. I've never heard that word either. And I've tried suicide. I sound silly saying it. I really do. So he explained through basically, basically he's talking about, look, this is what the kind of people that commit suicide, this is the actions that lead up to it.

And try to – he interviews everybody, looks at all the documents and tries to figure out if this person was a candidate for suicide or not. This obviously is not an exact science. Right. You can't really – There's a lot of error in this field of specific science. Yeah. There's a lot of error in this field of specific science. Yeah.

He says he studies everything and it's, quote, primarily in terms of learning about the character of individuals who are suicidal and those who do not commit suicide and the circumstances that surround suicidal death. So, I mean, you can look at all the circumstances if you're this guy and go, I'm 98% sure that person's not going to kill themselves. I'm pretty sure that guy's going to slit their wrist any day now. This guy knows that sort of thing. But nothing is obviously. Here's of thing. But nothing is obviously. Here's the thing. Each suicide is different. Sure, there are some that are similar.

And there are some that the lead up is probably very similar. And then the final act is very similar. But people are people. And people's behavior is always. I tried to shoot myself and it didn't work. There you go. And being that it didn't work was a reason that I don't try anymore because it felt like... You're not a doctor, Jimmy.

You're not good at this. You weren't trained. That's the problem. But the hammer didn't work. The hammer worked, but the bullet didn't fire. I had the full bullet sitting on my... This is a lot.

Sorry, guys. I had the bullet sitting on my computer stand. It's a full bullet with the bullet inside the shell casing, but the back shows that it had been fired, but it didn't fire. Makes sense? So it had a little nipple in the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And point is, it didn't work, and my dumb brain at the time that was clouded with booze

and drugs said, you're not supposed to do it. That's basically what I took away from it. And that's why I'm still here. That's why we're recording this today, because that thing didn't work. Well, yeah. I would have never met you. That's the point. No, definitely not.

That was a long time ago. That was a long time ago. That was a long ass time ago. That was a lot of truth. Sorry. No, it's understandable. We're good. Well, if this guy studied you and what you were doing.

He'd be like, you should be dead. You're going to die tomorrow. You're going to kill yourself tomorrow. No, I'm not. Fuck yourself. He would look all this. Now, Guthrie here, Bill is objecting. He's objecting.

He's arguing that these theories are not scientifically validated. This is bullshit. And they're just trying to give a general, this seems like it could be shading it toward, you know, whatever. He details for the jury the psychological dynamics for the people who take their own lives, the whole deal. He said if he, you know, he has a whole chart of this of what it is. He said Sharon exhibited a minimum of predisposing risk factors. She ingested multiple drugs, which is consistent with suicide.

She had no history of mental illness, depression, no significant physical illness, no chemical dependency, no big suicidal thing that she's been talking about all the time or anything like that. No personal or family background of suicidal behavior. These are all factors like that. You know, you need one or two of those to be in there. You're not just a normal guy. You're like, I'm just on board.

I'm going to blow my brain. Just a guy that had no problems whatsoever. And he's dead tomorrow. That's you're going to want to investigate a bit more because it's probably not suicide. Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. And also, too, he says through all of this, he tries to use it as Bill tries. He gets Bill says that he told Sharon that six months ago that he wanted a divorce.

He's trying to say maybe that pushed her over the edge. And this guy is actually saying, no, it's actually going to make it less likely because she's known about it for some amount of time. So she's OK with it now. She still has hope that this is going to work because she's telling people that she's going on a cruise with this fucking guy. That's the other thing. Also, too, she's very excited for her daughter's wedding. She's got plans. She's very into her kids.

She can't kill herself. She's got plans. And also the other thing, and this is a big thing and this is huge because the way people kill themselves, and it's not 100 percent, but the way people kill themselves is a certain thing. And if you are very self-conscious about your weight and the way you look, you're not going to be found naked. No, never. You're not going to do anything that will allow you to be found naked. And especially, it's a fact, you can argue all you want, women make sure, not all of them, but women a lot of times make sure to the reason why women kill themselves with pills more is because they don't what they want they don't

want to look terrible they don't want to look they also don't want to preserve themselves whereas men are like we want to show the fucking world right here's my brains on a wall like some people just want to watch the the world burn that's what it is that's what it is what it is so women like that. And he's saying like the likelihood, I'm not saying some women wouldn't do this or some. Everybody's different. But the likelihood of all of this and this woman who was very self-conscious about her weight being found naked. All of this adds up to probably not true.

Whitney Houston was super confident, huh? She was. She was kind of. Well, she was on crack. She was probably thin as fuck. She had a lot of cocaine going through her system. These ribs are going to be so impressive. So terrible.

This Berman explained that less than 2% of women kill themselves by drowning in a bathtub. And those who do generally lie back in the water like they're sleeping. That was the other thing I was going to ask. How did they find her face down in the tub? That's the thing. That's fucked up. His opinion that he testified to was that she did not die by suicide. Of course, there was a lot of objections and all that sort of thing, but it is what it is.

They did a whole hearing to see if this was admissible, and they said, well, you can present a witness to the contrary if you want. So he presents a witness that doesn't – the witness he presents is a guy named Dr. Michael McGrath. I don't know what kind of – he's a clinical psychologist. And he doesn't offer an opinion on her state of mind. He just offers her an opinion that Berman's full of shit. So that's his opinion. This guy doesn't know shit. Yeah, but tell me about – what's the psychology between an overweight person and being found different?

I don't know shit about that, but his methodology sucks. That's psychology between an overweight person and being found different. But his methodology sucks. That's what he said. That was the guy out there and did that. Tell me about somebody that's overweight being found naked. No, no, no. That's not what I'm here for. That guy's an asshole and he's wrong. Yeah, it's fucking unbelievable, man.

So, yeah, they do the church's computer. They find on the computer a couple of draft emails, unsent emails here. One from Bill to Jenna Lou, April 16th, 1999, it's dated. The text of the message is, I'll read this here, quote, Hi, well, your mother continues to keep me on my toes in the middle of the night. Wednesday night, Tuesday evening, she got up, turned on all the lights, walked into the kitchen, there was, she got up, turned on all the lights, walked into the kitchen. There was about 15 minutes there, about 15 minutes, and then returned to bed with a glass of chocolate milk.

I asked her what she did, and she said nothing. This was about 2 a.m., and then about 3 a.m. she did the same thing. Then about 4.30 a.m. she did it this time after about 10 minutes. I got up to check on her. She passed me in the hall without acknowledging I was there. At 7 a.m., I woke her up for work, and she wobbled into the bathroom for a few minutes. Later, she was asleep in the tub with water running all over the floor. I woke her up and got her out bed, that's all it says, because they leave it like an exact, so it's got spelling errors.

Then started my investigation. She, during the night at some point, had ingested something like 15 to 20 Benadryl and God knows what else. So he's just, this is like, this happens all the time and then it's going to happen again. And his daughter got an email. That's exactly what happened before. This is always, that's just what mom does. Then it says, she had been sleepwalking now, I figure, for about three months. And just now I'm realizing what she's been doing and talk about feeling stupid.

Well, I got her to the doctor and did some tests and she feels she has the same sleep disorder as her brother has. Well, I put up all the meds last night where she can't find them and we got some sleep last night. She got up twice in the night and I knew then what she was doing well so much for that now i will keep you posted on the continuing saga of how's the guthrie how the guthrie's churn i love you dad so he's just setting up a fucking i know that's a long email but that's this is this guy's the whole thing that's all he does here uh he did he he say how the Guthrie's churn? Churn. CH.

Not even turn. Right. What an asshole. He's an idiot here. I'm just shocked he didn't say something like, didn't like compare to Gilbert Grape's mom or something. That would have been very comical. At least he showed you a sense of humor at that point.

He's a doctor of humor. This is just cold shit. This is just cold shit. Also, when they were at the doctor, he never mentioned anything for Sharon's sleep problems. He never mentioned anything about Sharon falling asleep in the tub or anything like that. Not a word. Yeah, but when he spoke to investigators, he said that Sharon had been sleepwalking since the mid-'70s now. Now it's the mid-'70s.

Jesus, we're talking about 20 years now. Yeah, at trial, nobody in the family could corroborate that they had ever seen her sleepwalk, and the daughter never got the email. So she didn't know. Now there's a home computer. Also, there is a home computer. The trial court admitted evidence obtained from the home computer.

This wasn't taken in July 99. They originally executed a search warrant on his house, but for some reason didn't take the home computer. I don't know if it's back then. It just wasn't. I don't know. Small town, South Dakota. They knew to take computers. I don't know if it's back then. It just wasn't, I don't know, small town South Dakota they knew to take computers. I don't know what it is here.

But what they did is they took it later on, but it was after the search warrant had expired. Now they're going to argue that that's okay because of several factors that make it fine. Also, they had the state offers videotape testimony from the executive Presbyterian there, William Davis. That's my favorite title of all time. I know the executive Presbyterian there, William Davis. That's my favorite title of all time. I know, executive Presbyterian. Isn't it executive Presbyter? It's Presbyter, but I'm calling him the executive Presbyterian because that's my favorite thing in the world.

Oh, for an explainer. I like it. He testified about conversations, this William Davis, that he had with Bill before and after Sharon's death. He tried to invoke the clergy privilege. Then they said, OK, fine. Explain that to me. The clergy privilege? It's like a doctor or a lawyer privilege.

So he doesn't have to say? Well, they're saying the clergy privilege is super thin, though. What the fuck? He thinks it's just blanket, but as we find out later, it's really specific. And the state of Minnesota really, God, I've read a lot of legal shit on this and for this case no wonder why i haven't slept but this part's fascinating they're very specific about it as it pertains to it has to be like in a spiritual guidance manner it can't be like hey i killed my wife and i don't know what to do and blah blah blah you're they're not your fucking you know that's not how it works they're not your

lawyer exactly and so anything that has to do with shit like that. And also, too, if the guy. You killed your wife, say seven Hail Marys, and I'm going to call the police. I got to go. Yeah, see you later. That's right. And if the executive Presbyterian here decides to tell someone else, then he's waived the privilege because he's telling a third party.

So that's what they're doing at that point. That's fascinating. It's pretty interesting here. He tells that, you know, William Davis was his was his executive Presbyterian there and he was his pastor in Nebraska. And that Davis is a pastor to pastors. He explains all the claim like HIPAA laws like those things. Pretty much. He's trying to claim privilege. He's trying to claim privilege like it's a lawyer or a psychiatrist. It's wild here. He's trying to claim privilege like it's a lawyer or a psychiatrist or something. That's amazing. It's wild here.

He's trying to say, Guthrie, Bill is trying to say that these were protected conversations because he's my pastor and he was the church superior and the state's like, no, no, no, you haven't worked for that guy for three fucking years. You hardly ever talked to him. You didn't reasonably believe that he was still your minister. Right. You don't even live there and they said you talked to him like twice since you've been in South that he was still your minister. Right. Like, you don't even live there. And they said you talked to him like twice since you've been in South Dakota.

You're just telling a friend. You're just telling a guy who you think won't judge you because he's a fucking pastor and he knows you. Bill only spoke to this executive Presbyterian once during the first year he was in Woolsey. God, that makes me laugh so much. Executive Presbyterian. And the executive Presbyterian was informed of Sharon's death from another source. Not like Bill called him.

Really? Oh, my God, my wife died. Executive Presbyterian had to call Bill to offer his condolences. Wow. And during the conversation, Bill told him the circumstances surrounding the death and all that sort of thing. And so that's what they're saying is privileged. Also, the daughter, Suzanne, in June, along with her husband, went to the sheriff's department and said that she wanted to get the truth out and she'll record a conversation with

her father and try to get it out of him. She didn't give a fuck. She didn't know whether her father had contacted an attorney yet or anything like that. So she goes, talks to her father with a hidden tape recorder. Yes. And tries to get answers in July of 1999. She broaches the subject of suicide. He really didn't do anything.

She said he appeared nervous. He wouldn't make eye contact with her. Two days later, though, he comes to her workplace. contact with her. Two days later, though, he comes to her workplace and he tells her, he tells his daughter, Suzanne, that the night before Sharon died, he Bill told her that he told her that he was having an affair and he's going to divorce her. And she said and he says Bill tells his daughter that Sharon responded with an anxiety attack and said that he, quote, suspicioned her death was a suicide. Suspicioned. Yeah.

He's a dipshit. Yeah, he's a dipshit. He's a dipshit. He's a dipshit. I got suspicions on it. Oh, that's actual words. Never mind. That's actually correct.

That's a proper way to use it. Yeah, which is ridiculous because Suzanne had talked to her mother that night at 10 o'clock and she was totally fine. She asked about a glue pot. She left at church and Sharon said that she was totally fine. She asked about a glue pot. She left a church and, uh, Sharon said that she'd bring the glue pot over the next morning.

And so she said, Suzanne said she detected no stress or emotional, anything, emotional duress. And her mother's voice, it was totally, she's suspicion, nothing.

And also too, they tried to say, well, you did that. Uh, you tried to go around the attorney thing. Cause he didn't want it. Cause he said, I don't want to talk to the cops without an attorney. They said, you tried to say, well, you did that. You tried to go around the attorney thing because he said, I don't want to talk to the cops without an attorney. They said, you tried to go around it, but it turns out he didn't even have an attorney

yet. So he wasn't going around shit. He just was lazy and then he talked to his daughter. So he's a fucking idiot. He's a dipshit. Yeah. After the prosecution rests, it gets interesting. This is when it gets interesting.

Okay. He whips out a suicide note at this point. In the middle of the fucking court. Now he found it? In the middle of it. No, he's had it. He said he gave it to his attorneys in mid-June. Mid-June, but despite the fact that there's discovery on both sides and you have to show each other, counsel did not disclose the note because, as he explained to the judge, that, quote,

it had been given to him, quote, in confidence and he was not authorized to release it until yesterday. You're a fucking lawyer. Your job is to follow the rules of the court. If that guy doesn't want that shit in discovery, he doesn't want it as evidence. Ball it up and throw it the fuck out. Sorry. He said it could be either, it could make

for guilt or for innocence. We don't know what the fuck it is here, basically. So he said it didn't occur to the counsel, said it didn't occur to him to have the note examined for fingerprints, which is funny as fuck. And then he saw an ad in the newspaper for a lady who does a fingerprint business. He said, maybe I should I should do that. Maybe I should get it fingerprinted. The note is admitted over the state's objection.

There's a whole thing with fingerprints. It's ridiculous. Guthrie takes the stand, actually. Bill is allowed to take the stand for a limited scope of questions about how he found the note just to see if it's okay. He said he discovered it in the church office on June 10th, three weeks after Sharon drowned. He said, quote, it was written by Sharon and placed in the liturgy book. I don't know what that is.

I know shit about church. I don't know. Don't know me. I don't know what that is. I know shit about church. I don't know. Don't know me. I don't know. That's true. That Sharon and I used for preparing bulletins. So she stuck it in there is what he said. He said he told no one but his attorneys and a fellow minister in confidence and counsel.

Five days after finding it, he said he gave it to the defense counsel, but never mentioned it to his family or anything else. It's an unsigned note. It's addressed to her daughter. Unsigned, though. Unsigned. It's dated May 13, 1999. Dear Suzanne, I am sorry I ruined your wedding, because they had an issue at the wedding

I told you about. Your dad told me about your concerns of my interfering in Jenna Luz and the possibility I might ruin hers. I won't be there. So put your mind at ease. You will understand after the wedding is done. I love you all, mom.

That's what she says. So that that's also doesn't seem like a real. That's a fucked thing to say. Yeah. That's a terrible way to. I won't be there. That's not how you write a suicide note when you're depressed. No, no, no, no.

Exactly. That's not that's not the wording of somebody. That's a weird fuck you. It's so strange. That's not the wording of somebody that's hurt. No, that's a weird fuck you. It's so strange. That's written by somebody that doesn't understand depression. That's what that is. Yeah, that's a guy who's like, maybe that'll buy it. That's the whole thing.

That sounds like something somebody depressed would say. No, it's not. It's so ridiculous here. Also, there's a ton of things with the home computer. They argue over that back and forth. Yeah. Back and forth. They find other suicide notes on there.

They find a document with what they call conspicuous similarities to the note Guthrie gave his attorney. This document had been created and modified on August 7th, 1999, which is way later. And also on this particular thing, that note was dated May 13th, just like the other one. So it's not looking good here. Not looking good. There's different words in there. I love you, mom, and not I love you all, mom. Things like that.

There's little differences in the whole thing. Suicide isn't spiteful, just so that people know. That's not what it's for. For the most part, no. It's not meant to hurt somebody else. Sometimes it is. I mean, it can be. Not this lady.

Not like this. No, no, no. He insisted he didn't create it. They asked him about it, and he said, quote, I probably did, but I don't remember. I don't know. He doesn't even remember anything about it, he said. I know the one I found on June 10th, which is ridiculous. Somehow it was edited two months later.

Yeah, exactly. Now, the attorney says, no, no, this came way before August 7th, the one I got. I got it quite a while before July 26th, he says, so before the trial started. One of the lines in this note said, quote, I'm upset that you have had an affair and not come clean with me.

I have thought of ending my life and you would have to face up to it. Believe me, I know how I, believe me, I known how to do it. So he's like trying out, He's trying out new material. Yeah, he's like an open marker right now. He's like, let me try this one needs work. I don't know. I like the other one with I love you all. What about

the let's bring the daughter's wedding into this. That's a better deal here. Don't worry. I won't be there. That sounds good. That sounds foreshadowing foreshadowing. We got to get we got to set up the callback. Good God. So the callback. So through all of this, after everything, two weeks of trial, the jury deliberates. The trial's over. We've got tons of evidence as we've gone over here.

The trial, they deliberate for five hours. Wow. Five hours, which is not a long time. Not a long time. They find him guilty of murder in the first degree. I would say so. First degree murder. Based on that event.

Definitely. Evidence, sure. The judge asks him at sentencing, Mr. Guthrie, do you have anything to say? He said, no, your honor. So they said, okay, well, life in prison without the possibility of parole. Whoa. Take a fucking hike, mister. You could have at least said, sorry, dickhead.

You could have said anything. You could have said, I wish this wouldn't have happened. I loved my wife. You could have said anything rather than, no, your honor wouldn't have happened i loved my wife you could have said anything rather than know your honor either way he was getting life without parole but the maximum here is life out life i mean it's it's first degree you're going to prison forever you're fucked you're going out here uh he appeals obviously uh appeals on six different counts it's uh whether the expert testimony was properly allowed the suicidologist like we said uh there was a motion that he thought should have been carried through that wasn't uh he wanted to suppress evidence that wasn't suppressed uh the

fingerprint evidence that was inconclusive anyway he's talking about that on the note whether certain the clergy privilege thing he's saying communications are privileged and uh and also to the court of the tape recorded conversations, that had no real value either way. He's swinging for the fences with nothing. Everything that he thinks they did wrong and improperly, he's putting out there, but none of them matter to the case. And that's one of the things in the appeal. It's not enough that you just got a thing against you that shouldn't have gone against you. That's not enough.

It has to matter to the outcome. Right. That's what it is. He's essentially in a Major League Baseball game. I was just going to say. They're pitching 100-mile-an-hour fastballs, and what's he batting with? A fucking wiffle ball bat. Not even that.

He's saying there was a ball erroneously called a ball instead of a strike in the third inning, and the game was 14-2. And it's like, that doesn't fucking matter. The game was 14-2. There was two outs in that inning. It was over. It doesn't matter. But he's like, that should have been a strikeout.

That's what he's doing. And in the appeal with the expert witness, they said that basically the jury would have been the same whether he was there or not. The other evidence was the main part. He wasn't the determining factor. It's a fact you're not wet. No. She's dead. All of that shit. She's in a tub, face down, naked.

I mean, you're dumb. You're dumb. That's it. And you got too many stories. That's the other fucking thing. Too many goddamn stories. Too many things. Too many preparations.

Everything is planned. In the appeal, the summary of the appeal, the circuit court, they do rule that the circuit court abused its discretion in allowing the suicidologist to tell the jury that she didn't commit suicide. But they say the testimony is not prejudicial to the outcome of the case because of all the other evidence. The court did not err in finding that the methodology of the suicidologist was sufficiently reliable, just that they shouldn't have let him say anything at all or shouldn't have let him make a conclusion. His motion thing, they dismissed that. They say that they did not erroneously not suppress the computer that they found. They said that should have been let in. Basically everything.

They say that it's not only part of the portion of the testimony of the executive Presbyterian was privileged and that the statements within that privilege were waived because he talked to somebody else. And also they find that the circuit court did privilege were waived because he talked to somebody else. And also, they find that the circuit court did not abuse its discretion in allowing the jury to listen to the audio tape and be read a transcript of this tape, which had nothing that made him guilty. So judgment, verdict affirmed. Take a fucking hike.

You're gone. They affirm the conviction. 2009, he gets another appeal going for a new trial. Oh, my God. He wants a whole new trial. New trial. He's saying his constitutional rights were violated when the investigator searched his computer. We have a quote.

His attorney says, quote, they didn't say in here that Guthrie was known to have used his computer to communicate in some fashion or what kind of information he stored on it. This is just what it says. We would like to see. We are curious, he's saying that they just want it. But also they say that, well, if he was using all sorts of alternate means to talk to this woman to have an affair, letters, phone calls from the church, all these, it's reasonable to think that he would also be using the computer for that. So it's actually a reasonable thing.

They weren't just just, you know just dicking around in there. Judge rejects his request for a new trial in the death. So he is stuck in there. Conviction solid. Done. Conviction upheld. Upheld. Go to prison. No new request. Go to prison. This was in 2009 was that last one. And

then July 18th, 2011. It's 66 years old. Bill dies in a South Dakota state penitentiary in Sioux Falls. Prison officials did not immediately release details about the inmate's death, but it seemed like it was kind of a natural causes type thing. All right. So he died in prison. At 66? 66.

A young guy. A young guy. Not as young as 54. No. His poor goddamn wife would probably still be alive. Poor Sharon is buried at Fairview Cemetery in Scotts Bluff, Nebraska. Poor lady. I feel bad for her.

I feel bad for those kids, too. No doubt. That sucks, man. They grew up, I'm sure. Somebody had a wedding without their mom at it. Definitely. Because their dad's a dick. Well, think about, too.

They had to have grown up with an idealized picture of their family. Yeah. We're the pastor. It's all a lie. It's all a're the pastor. It's all a lie. It's all a big fucking lie. Unbelievable. It's all a big plastic. That's why I said he's plastic out on the lawn, man.

That's exactly what it is. And they had to kind of think, fuck, man, that's my parents. And my whole- My whole childhood is a fucking sham. Everything. My whole vision of what the world was and what we are in it is all just gone. And these people- Fucking sham.

Luckily, they were grownups anyway. That's helpful. But yeah, that is Woolsey, South Dakota. My goodness. And that is the poor Guthrie, or the poor Guthrie and the dickhead Guthrie and the executive Presbyterian and everything else. Dr. Dickhead Guthrie and his executive Presbyterian. What a story.

Counselor there or pastor or whatever he was. Holy shit, that's a mess. That is a- Sweet Pete. Good God. watch out. Keep your chocolate milk under wraps. No doubt. There's no seal on a chocolate milk.

No, man, that's what it was. She had it. No, bad stuff. If you enjoyed that story. I sure did. I enjoyed it, and I enjoyed it a lot. I stayed up for days. I liked it so much.

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Because they make the show actually possible. Jimmy, hit us with that list what is your brother we have laura sanford uh sharon j thomas rochelle war jason scott kimberly styles i think that was styles it looks like styles i write like a fucking toddler jesus alissa parish uh katie turner moe zeigert uh julie sackett kathleen phil or till i can't tell which that is I don't know, Steph upped her donation Callie French, Kev the Quant Man Kevins, that's a fucking interesting name Damn

This one, A-O-E-D-E How do you pronounce that, A-O-D? A-O-D? I guarantee you, whatever language that is, I guarantee it's a beautiful name and I'm fucking ruining it I'm sure it's beautiful, but we don't know. Rachel Powers, Laura Sinclair, Jessica Anacone or Anasone?

It looks maybe Italian. I know, and I haven't seen it to know. I think it's Anacone. I'm probably wrong. Laura Shinoski or Chaniski? Mark Manichetti, that is the coolest Italian name ever. Yeah, I saw that guy's name. I was like, hey, look at him.

I know he was called Manicotti forever and probably fucking hates it. And I just fucking spit it out, too. If I had friends with that name, I'd be like, hey, Joey Manicotti, get over here. Manicotti, come here. Let's go. Jody Cooper, James Michael, Emily Stotts, Deidre Kohler. She wrote and her name's spelled really difficultly, and she assumed I would fuck it up. And I think I just fucking nailed it.

Which means you were way off. So far off, it's ridiculous. I think I nailed it. That makes them even happier, because they're like, you are nowhere near nailing it. She sent a really nice email. She wants two episodes of this a week. And listen, to do that, we need more time in a week. Yeah, we need

another two days to be invented. Honestly, if we didn't have Crime and Sports, we could do it, but the Crime and Sports takes twice as long as this to do. It's bananas. Yeah, it takes up a lot of time. But Deidre upped her donation and she sent a really nice

email that I'll give to you later. It's really sweet. That's awesome. Marinda Lynch, Louise sent a donation and a little note saying that she loves us. David Stanich, Jessica Christensen, she upped her donation, I believe. Jess Landren sent Australian money, which was kind of cool from PayPal. Thank you so much, Jess. It felt like I need to go there to spend it.

Yeah, no shit. We need to go there just to thank Jessica Langer for being so nice to us all the time. Steve Tancredi or Tancredi or Tancredi? Tancredi. That's probably it. You probably just crushed it. Amanda Nelson. Killian Coleman is a cool name.

Amy Blith or Blythe. Summer Borland. Michael Collazo. Dale Blackson. Oh, yeah, the Montana. Yeah, yeah. He sent us shirts from Ovando. And then he sent us pictures from the fires up there.

He was thankful that we mentioned that. And those fires are brutal up there, man. You don't see it on the news at all, those fires up there. Not a word. Not a fucking word. When there's catastrophic fucking hurricanes coming every two days and at a state that actually has people and it's on fire a ton of them you know the middle uh a plains land that just happens to be burning doesn't get the attention even though it should it really should

because people do live there and you know so thanks for doing he's a firefighter up there so thanks for doing dale uh kimber vote tour or voter um anyway i'm an asshole. Susan Braddow or Brado. Sarah Robert, Paul Hovey, Angel Echavarria. That's a kick-ass name. Not bad at all. Allie Tewksbury, Sophie Jones, Hey Why the Face. I like that

so much. Carl Cieslewicz. I think, what? Did I just become a wordsmith? I think you just became Polish if you pronounced that correctly. Good job, Jimmy. Emily Schmidt, Jana Breed Black, or Back, rather. Jana Breed Back. Christy Blanco, Kelly Bath, Cynthia Seberg, Lucy Eglinton, Sarah Chamberlain, Rebecca Elner,

Alison Hilliard, Grant Moffitt, Alison Thamelets. Or Thamelets? Tamelets? Teamlets? I think one of those has to be close. One of those is definitely Allison. Lisa Velasquez sent a donation. Then she sent a really nice email that I'm going to show to you as well. It was incredibly just – she loves the show, so that's basically it. That's great to hear.

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Wanima Van. You hear brutalizing this one. Wanima Van Zandt. Kasten Johnson. Megan Strapik. Or Strapik. How do I spell it? It's Standt, Kasten Johnson, Megan Strapik. How do I spell it? It's Strapik, I think. It's Strapik.

No, I think we're both wrong. Phoebe Miller, who started the Small Town Murder podcast fan club on Facebook. Yeah, that's cool. She writes a blog in the UK. Totally cool, man. Thanks, Phoebe. Thank you. She sent UK money, whatever that money is.

Great. Pounds, Jimmy. Pounds. It's so obvious. Everybody knows that except for me. They've been around forever. Forever. Daniel Mertz, Robin Joyner, Jill Crosby, Carolyn Jackson, Kat Power got a job.

Congratulations, asshole. Hey, good for you, Kat. Gregory Becker, Christy Ann Costaldi is a sweetheart. Oh, she's the best, too. Jesus. She sends... It's so darn good. Her and Jessica, she's going to give a huge hug together. For real.

Thank you, guys. Sarah Toe, Maggie Eichhorn, Ryan – was that Ryan? It is Ryan. Growley, William McClellan. He's Bill McClellan over in the U.K. He just got married, too, and he loves his wife. Hey, congrats, man. He wanted me to tell everybody that he loves his wife.

I don't know why. You tell her. You don't know why you want to tell her? I don't know why he wants us to tell her. Oh, okay, yeah. You tell her.

That's your job. That's true. Give her a kiss. Look her in the eye right now and tell her you love her. And don't go buy sleeping pills. Leave her the fuck alone. Leave the restaurant alone

and do that. Love her. Don't tell her she's fat or take her on a cruise or anything like that. Sarah Robert, Stacey Jones, Melissa Hoover, Andrew Wagon. This name, you've got to forgive me. Coco Gonza Kajega.

Oh, wow. That's a good name. I'm sure I'm wrong. It's a solid name. But it's so many Ks. It's brutal. John Houle, Carly Myers, Shannon Adcock, Phil Monahan, Kathleen Thill again because she sent two donations. And then Amy Johnson and Gail Hogston.

I think I'm fucking through. That is good stuff right there. You guys, thank you guys so much for coming through. There's so many of you being so kind to us. There really is. And we can't do it without you. So thank you so, so, so much. You're running the show, guys.

Thank you, guys. You keep us going. You keep us being able to do the guys. Thank you, guys. You keep us going. You keep us being able to do the show. Thank you, guys. And what if one of these fine people wanted to just talk to one of us? Say you. They can find me. Where can they find you?

They can find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N-S-U-C-K-S, on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. Follow along, play along, comment. Let me know what you're doing. I love it. And I am at JimmyPIsFunny, or if you want to friend me on Facebook, that sort of thing, copy and paste my last name from the show description because you will fuck it up. But besides that, guys, we've had so much fun this week.

This has been crazy. A horrible story. Lots of fun. Thank you guys for so, so much for everything. We hope you enjoyed the longer episode. We were just trying to give you guys a little bit extra, a little bit of something. We can't give you two episodes a week, but we can try to give you a long one. But yeah, that's it for now.

Until next week, guys, it's been our pleasure. Bye. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Small Town Murder early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. So tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. I understand that anybody who's paid attention to the media would have to come to the conclusion that I killed my wife.

Hi, my name is Zach Stewart-Pontier. I'm one of the filmmakers behind The Jinx, and I'm excited to bring you the official Jinx podcast. We'll be revisiting all six episodes of part one and watching along with part two as it airs on Max, starting April 21st. Bye-bye. The Official Jinx Podcast.

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