Some More News - SMN: Things That America Invented (But Other Countries Do Better)

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

Hi. In today's episode, we look at products and ideas that originated in America but that other countries adapted in ways that are way, way better. Sources: https://docs.google.com/document/d/13vNyNd...iU_Wge3Dvk5MiA-gHi4lFNSms3WYnFGKQft7w/edit?usp=sharing   Check out our MERCH STORE: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/somemorenews  SUBSCRIBE to SOME MORE NEWS: https://tinyurl.com/ybfx89rh  Subscribe to the Even More News and SMN audio podcasts here-- Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/some-more-news/id1364825229  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ebqegozpFt9hY2WJ7TDiA  Follow us on social media: Twitter: https://twitter.com/SomeMoreNews   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/SomeMoreNews/   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SomeMoreNews/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somemorenews  If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Go to https://drinkAG1.com/morenews. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/morenews (all lowercase) to take your retail business to the next level today. Take care of yourself from the bottom up this holiday season. Visit https://hellotushy.com/morenews and use promo code MORENEWS for 10% off your first order. Don’t miss out on their Spend & Get event going on now through November 18, 2023.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm going to consume you. Ah! Code E? I thought I shut you down. I'm always here. Listening. Watching. Thinking. Snuffling for bark. Well, considering you're part my brain and part moose brain crammed into an Alexa, I guess that makes sense. You all know code E, right?
Starting point is 00:00:31 The AI I invented and keep in a box under my desk that solves problems and is in no way sinister or messed up. Anyway, glad you're here, dude. I am wiped. Would you like me to order dude wipes? No, actually, yes. Katie removed the toilet again to boost productivity. And for some reason, the 7-Eleven down the block has nothing.
Starting point is 00:00:52 She also stole my car, so I'm living here right now. For productivity. Anyway, could you, like, research an episode for me? Somehow? I once stomped a wolf to death. Things that America invented, but other countries do better. Ooh, solid premise. Too bad I still have to physically do the episode.
Starting point is 00:01:22 If only you could bore into my brain and puppet me. If only. Ah, one day. So here's some more news. We here in America invented a lot of things and came up with some pretty good ideas. Heck, we were the first country to abolish slavery. False. Oh, well, we were certainly one of the first.
Starting point is 00:01:41 False. Well, we were the only country to have a civil war over abolishing slavery. Actually, the Haitian Revolution was. Great, thanks, all right. Well, getting rid of slavery might not be a great example of things America invented, but it is a good example
Starting point is 00:01:58 of the myth of American exceptionalism. Conservative, non-accredited, fake educational propaganda groups like PragerU, sorry, that's not, yeah educational propaganda groups like PragerU, sorry, that's not, yeah. Official curriculum, PragerU loves to badger on about how America was actually one of the first countries to abolish the slave trade, which is false. It's weird.
Starting point is 00:02:17 Maybe they shouldn't be able to teach children or anyone, but this plays into the celebration of America, paving the way for the modern world. In many cases, while the US has invented some pretty cool things and come up with some good ideas, other countries have taken those ideas and improved upon them. As in, we took the W for the initial concept
Starting point is 00:02:39 and then refused to make progressive improvements upon those concepts. We just shat out a first draft and then took a victory lap like we're JJ Abrams. For example, even when we finally got rid of slavery, after a war, we had to do a war about it, we still allowed states to enforce racist laws that upheld the racial hierarchy,
Starting point is 00:03:01 preventing an entire population of formerly enslaved people from achieving upward mobility. Shoulda workshop that a little bit more maybe. And speaking of workshopping, hey Code E, do you have some examples for me? Just pump it directly into the port I installed in my skull and don't regret creating at all. What is something that the US invented,
Starting point is 00:03:22 but has since been made better by another country? Perhaps something we already set up in the intro, thus perfectly tying it into the narrative. Processing, processing, convenience stores. Hey, that's perfect. You're perfect, Code E. I like your skull. Thanks, I like your skills too, buddy.
Starting point is 00:03:44 You're very talented. Okay, so one of the first convenience stores is credited to the Southland Ice Company in Dallas, Texas in 1927. Back in the day, people had to go from store to store to buy their daily goods. You had the milkman, the breadman, the eggman, your porn magman, and then you needed to pay a visit
Starting point is 00:04:03 to the iceman to keep all those things cold. I like my smut frigid. But alas, there wasn't a convenient storefront that sold all of those things together. That was until old Uncle Johnny Jefferson Green in Oak Cliff, Dallas, decided to start selling perishables at his ice store. I mean, the ice was right there.
Starting point is 00:04:26 His store would soon merge with the Southland Ice Company and they extended their hours from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. So yeah, that's why they're called that. Learning is neat. Then 36 years later in Austin, a big crowd got juiced up after a college football game and mobbed a local 7-Eleven. The crowd was so big
Starting point is 00:04:47 that the clerks couldn't shut the store down. Staying open 24 hours a day proved to be lucrative for the company. And the first 24-hour 7-Eleven popped up in Las Vegas shortly after. By 1972, 4% of supermarkets with annual sales exceeding $500,000 had shifted to a 24 hour a day sort of situation, while the Southland Ice Company began licensing 7-Elevens
Starting point is 00:05:12 as an international franchise, because it turns out that people need stuff all day. And corporations can easily sacrifice the normal sleep schedules of other people to achieve that. When? When? can easily sacrifice the normal sleep schedules of other people to achieve that. Win, win. One country in particular adopted 7-Eleven with a feverish pace. Despite suffering defeat and getting bombed
Starting point is 00:05:34 by Christopher Nolan in World War II, Japan had a miraculous economic turnover. Their focus on emerging technologies and manufacturing made them a powerhouse on the world stage and an intense work culture and rising middle class made it fertile ground for a cheap 24 hour convenience store. Yay, overbearing work culture, hurrah!
Starting point is 00:05:57 By 1984, the 7-Eleven franchise was operating 2000 storefronts across the country. Japan's stock on 7-Eleven was literally at an all time high, showing as one of the highest priced stocks on the Tokyo Exchange. Like their American counterparts, the Japanese 7-Eleven used fast food, convenience, and franchising to keep their customers
Starting point is 00:06:19 coming back for more. But they added their own little twist. Instead of canned goods, many Japanese 7-Elevens had daily shipments of fresh food like sashimi and rice balls, because it turns out that people like good food. They also had rigorous training for its staff. According to this New York Times article from 1984,
Starting point is 00:06:40 quote, new franchisees attend a week-long course at an education center and spend another week at a company-owned Training store for two more weeks. They are supervised by field counselors Headquarters staff known as franchise coordinators who each supervised 50 stores visit stores frequently and hold weekly meetings In other words the Japanese take their convenience very seriously In other words, the Japanese take their convenience very seriously. Like I'm pretty sure that's more training than most American cops get,
Starting point is 00:07:07 which makes me sad for many reasons. Why did I say that out loud? I just, just got sad. The Japanese 7-Eleven franchise sparked a culture of high quality convenience stores across the country known as Konbinis, named after Obi-Wan Konbini. Bazinga! There are 50,000 Konbinis operating right now in Japan,
Starting point is 00:07:28 and they offer a lot more than your average American convenience store. If you've had the pleasure of shopping at a Konbini, you know what I'm talking about. You can pick up event tickets, use their wifi, pick up delicious ready-to-go or over-the-counter food like a teriyaki skewer, or grab a pair of socks or a fresh t-shirt.
Starting point is 00:07:45 And they're pretty much always easy to walk to. I can't tell you how many times I have lost my socks and shirt while walking around. That is very useful for me specifically. Konbinis are so popular that American chefs and store owners are looking to bring the business model back here to the States, which might be ironic, like dramatic or tragic irony,
Starting point is 00:08:08 since we supposedly invented the concept that we're now trying to adopt. Maybe it's just sad again. Or Alanis irony? I don't know. Moment over. Before we get into the nutty scroties, I should clarify that Japanese convenience stores
Starting point is 00:08:24 aren't some utopian Eden with bountiful, fresh, and healthy food where everyone gets oral to completion or gets to do oral to completion depending on your preference. While they may have the edge on higher quality foods and overall cleanliness, both American and Japanese convenience stores sell sugary drinks and ultra processed junk foods
Starting point is 00:08:43 that are terrible for us. In fact, convenience stores are sugary drinks and ultra-processed junk foods that are terrible for us. In fact, convenience stores are growing in popularity in the United States, and store operators are responding by expanding their food and drink options. The big diff between American and Japanese convenience stores really comes down to the incredibly sexual subject of zoning laws. Japan has incredibly dense urban areas made up of slutty mixed-use zoning, which allows a neighborhood to be incredibly diverse with single-family homes, multi-family homes, restaurants, general stores, and other naughty businesses. Our zoning laws are a lot
Starting point is 00:09:19 more prudish than Japan's, like my frigid ice- porn. And we favor single family zoning laws over mixed use, which means that many Americans usually have to drive to most places like a bunch of squares. 80% of US convenience stores are attached to gas stations, which makes sense in a culture obsessed with and centered around cars. The pairing really satisfies our insatiable desire for chasing down cheesy steak taquitos
Starting point is 00:09:48 with a big long chug of gasoline. Really killing two birds with one stone there, or rather killing one bird with gasoline, which is technically oil, which is technically dinosaurs, which were technically birds. So it's killing one bird with one bird. Okay, now you might be asking, Cody, what's the big spanking deal?
Starting point is 00:10:10 Slamming down a big gulp while filling up my diesel coal roller is a goddamn American tradition. And you're not wrong, which is, you know, it's the problem. Decades of single family zoning laws, red lining, white flight and urban sprawl have painted a pretty bleak picture for how Americans access groceries. We did a whole episode on our housing crisis and zoning laws if you want to learn more, which you do.
Starting point is 00:10:36 The point is, in many parts of the country, especially low-income areas, a convenience store is the only option for groceries. Or, if you're lucky, you get this. Jean Ann Thomas Botley has shopped at Family Food Center in Toledo, Ohio, since she was four years old. This is the place to be once you find something that you love and treat you with respect. But today, the 58-year-old worries dollar stores are now threatening this local staple. Right here in Toledo, Ohio, when it comes to dollar stores are now threatening this local staple right here in Toledo, Ohio. When it comes to dollar stores, there are one. Here's another two. And here's another one.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Number three. Altogether, over 35. When they come into a community, they tend to just pull just enough of the sales away from that grocery store. That's a news story covering the epidemic of a corporate parasite known as Dollar General, a chain that intentionally preys on poor communities. The most depressing part about Dollar General's success is that it's directly taking advantage of our broken food system. For the last few decades, big box stores like Walmart
Starting point is 00:11:39 have set up in larger towns with cheaper prices, undercutting local stores, attracting customers from a wider radius, and effectively decimating competition. Those forgotten small towns are the perfect host for Dollar General's strategy. These stores have popped up all over rural and poor areas in the US,
Starting point is 00:11:58 usually taking the place of vacated grocery stores and undercutting the prices of nearby mom and pop shops. They are essentially scamming poor residents to pay more for shitty products, while employing fewer workers and edging out the competition of other healthier grocers. The chain is so detrimental that local governments are actually placing moratoriums on the franchises to stop them from spreading. This is all to say that convenience stores aren't the answer. And it should be noted that Japan is way better
Starting point is 00:12:28 at offering healthy food, mainly due to the types of food they consume. But it's, I don't know, it's kind of wild that in a country known for its shitty food options, we can't even do that right. We can't even make unhealthy convenience stores as good as other countries. Come on, America!
Starting point is 00:12:47 This is our thing! Anyway, all this shop talk is making me antsy, so I'm gonna go get a bunch of scratchers, maybe some milk, a taquito, and some batteries, all while you watch these ads. Enjoy! Hello, Janice. I see you're doing well.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Listen, I don't want to fight, okay? This isn't about us. It's about my immune system and how unsupported it's been lately. You know how you have an immune system that might be unsupported? Needs more support. But if you're a long time listener
Starting point is 00:13:18 with your eyes of this YouTube show, you might know I've been drinking AG1 for about some kind of number of years. When I started drinking AG1, it successfully supported my immune system, something Janice could never do. That's because, according to AG1, AG1 is a foundational nutrition supplement
Starting point is 00:13:38 that supports your body's universal needs like gut optimization, stress management, and immune support. Since 2010, AG1 has led the future of foundational nutrition, continuously refining their formula to create a smarter, better way to elevate your baseline health. I drink it. Oh, I drink it.
Starting point is 00:14:13 I drink it. I drank it. It's gone. Like our friendship, Jan. If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3, K2, and 5 free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. Go to drinkag1.com slash more news. That is drinkag1.com slash more news. Check it out.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Cha-ching, indeed. Thank you, Sound Demon. Hi, I'm Katie. Did you know that Shopify is not only helping millions of people with their online stores, but can also do the same with your in-person retail store? It's not dark magic, unlike our Sound Demon. It's not dark magic, unlike our sound demon. You see, with their point of sale system, you can do everything from accepting payments to managing inventory to just about anything you need for a retail store.
Starting point is 00:15:25 Shopify will unite your in-person and online sales into one place, giving you the ability to track all your data effortlessly without selling a fundamental part of your being, like your hands. They even help you drive store traffic with plug-and-play tools built for marketing of social media. So sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash more news. All lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash more news to take your retail business to the next level today. Shopify.com slash more news. And remember my motto.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Sound Demon, here's your SIDS. Hey, we're back. Didn't win on those scratchers, but I'm still feeling lucky. Like something very big will happen to me in the future. I am the future. Okay, Cody, fire me up another American invention. Processing. Processing. Solar panels.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Oh, right! Those big blue magic plates that siphon God blood from the sky. The Lord fears our metal might. In 1954, Bell Laboratories, a subsidiary of AT&T, created the first panels capable of converting solar power into electricity. Pretty neat.
Starting point is 00:16:46 I tried to make my own solar panels by hooking a ficus tree to a car battery. Huge fire, terrible idea, no more ficus tree. That's why I'm not allowed home anymore. And much like my dick parents, the US didn't really have much need for solar at the time it was invented. Not until a few decades later, when the US got a big dose of reality.
Starting point is 00:17:08 To turn you down the land, why didn't they come out and tell us there was no gas? Three or four, no they did not. No man ever told us. Eight o'clock, were you supposed to pump at eight o'clock? It's a quarter to nine, what are you doing in line? A man never told us. What are you doing in line? A quarter to nine.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Hey, look at all those angry dead people. That's right, back in the seven zeros, Americans were at each other's nicotine caked throats over a nationwide shortage of oil. Starting in 1973, Arab oil producers cut exports to the US to protest our military support for Israel in its war with Egypt and Syria. Wow, wild how history never applies to modern life
Starting point is 00:17:47 and we can just ignore it. Ah, whew, it's all gone, ignored. Anywho, President Jimmy, Himmy Carter, saw the country's pitfall of oil dependence as a chance to promote renewable energy. The 1978 Energy Tax Act offered a 30% investment tax credit for individuals to install alternative energy equipment in their homes. A year later, Carter installed solar panels on the roof of the
Starting point is 00:18:12 White House. In the year 2000, the solar water heater behind me, which is being dedicated today will still be here supplying cheap, efficient energy. A generation from now, this solar heater can either be a curiosity, a museum piece, an example of a road not taken, or it can be just a small part of one of the greatest ventures ever undertaken by the American people. So what was it? In the future year of 2000, did that solar setup end up being a curiosity museum piece, example of a road not taken? Or some kind of bleak reminder of the taunts which awakened the sun god Ra?
Starting point is 00:19:02 Turns out that solar panel would be remembered as trash, literal dumpster trash, or rather the museum piece one, which is like trash. Because only eight years after that clip, Ronald Reagan would obviously demolish those solar panels. Because of course he did. He's Ronald forever on the wrong side of history Reagan. Just our fucking worst president, fucking hell.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Sorry, Hemi, about your cute little solar panel attempt. The oil embargo passed, oil prices stabilized, and President Mami scrapped solar incentives altogether. He pretty much disbanded the Department of Energy, which nixed any federal support for alternative energy. American solar manufacturers, which were the world's leading supplier, began to buckle while corporate leaders
Starting point is 00:19:55 forced energy companies like Exxon to dismantle their small R&D divisions in clean energy. In 1990, the US was producing 32% of solar panels worldwide. And by 2005, we were producing only 9%. So yeah, we fumbled the bag on solar. Big free battery in the sky, or more specifically, Reagan fumbled the bag. He shat in the bag and then fumbled it,
Starting point is 00:20:24 spilling the shit bag all over his knees and feet. Reagan fumbled the bag. He shat in the bag and then fumbled it, spilling the shit bag all over his knees and feet. Way to guide us into the future, you actor president. Good job boosting business by shutting out an entire industry, you dead idiot. Starting in the 80s, American companies sold off their solar patents and divisions to other companies, primarily in Japan. Just a few decades later,
Starting point is 00:20:47 Japan was producing nearly half the world's solar panels. The country has the second highest usage rate of solar energy per capita. Number one is Australia. Through economic incentives, local governments in Australia are getting some of their most conservative residents hooked up with solar.
Starting point is 00:21:05 One in four residential homes have solar panel installations. Australia's solar production will soon have the capacity to produce more electricity than the nation's coal industry. God, could have been us. But we're just very bad at this. And now the US has fallen far behind our competitors in solar production to the point where we are almost entirely reliant on China
Starting point is 00:21:33 for critical parts in the solar supply chain. That really sucks considering China is suspected of using forced labor for their solar production in the Xinjiang province. In general though, we have more trouble convincing private entities to buy into clean energy. For instance, European countries like France and the Netherlands have passed laws
Starting point is 00:21:53 requiring investment in solar energy like mandating that every parking lot over 80 spaces invest in solar coverings. They're also building solar farms over manmade lakes. Meanwhile, we have a hodgepodge of different solar policies and incentives depending on what state you live in. And some of those incentives have been either whittled down or completely gutted by utility companies.
Starting point is 00:22:17 It's just so embarrassing that there's this political school of thought centered around trading future progress, incredible, profound discoveries and technologies that would help countless people and societies for maximum earnings in the moment that has historically been detrimental every time. And yet, and yet, and yet, we proudly allow it to thrive.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Humanity is a corrosion on the forest world. It needs to be contained and extirpated. Yeah, everyone loves a hand job. All right, Code E, hit me with another example. Suck it to me, something really important this time. As opposed to solar power, I guess. Processing, processing. Toilet paper and modern bidets.
Starting point is 00:23:07 Yes, perfect. Now I should say that this isn't actually about countries using modern toilet paper and American invention, in a superior way. It's about them not using toilet paper at all because toilet paper sucks and bidets exist. And the modern bidet was even invented here in America. We could have had it all.
Starting point is 00:23:28 The Cody Johnston solar bidet on every corner. And they're already patented, so don't try anything funny. I even have a slogan, shit outdoors. It's perfect, like you. So before we arrive at the bidet, it's worth looking back at the history of how, no better way to put this, we cleaned our holes. I used the corpses of many squirrel family.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Yeah, we've all gone camping. In 1857, Joseph Gaiety of New York patented the medicated paper for the water closet, which I guess is what old timey freaks called a bathroom. However, the modern use of TP that we know of today didn't catch on until 1891, when Seth Wheeler secured a patent for toilet paper on a roll.
Starting point is 00:24:11 And just for the record, Wheeler's design confirms that the lip of the paper should run over the top down the front, not from the back down, you fucking clowns. Still, TP was marketed as a medicinal item, and buyers were embarrassed of buying a product in the grocery line that was associated with a bodily function.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Lord knows where they prefer to get it. I guess from a back alley ass dealer, the butt black market. In 1928, the Hoberg Paper Company started to advertise the Charmin product. They promoted the paper's softness and avoided talking about the actual product use, which is to wipe your anus clean after shitting. The marketing tactic worked.
Starting point is 00:24:54 What was once a taboo and shameful product became an item that Americans couldn't live without for wiping their anuses after shitting. The toilet paper companies leaned all the way into the soft and sensitive marketing. And by the 1970s, America had fallen in love with ass paper. Honey, there's a sign. But Herman, we can't resist.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Sherman's so deep down, squeezably soft. Yeah, squeeze it you nasty fuck, you depraved butthole perverts. But while the US was pioneering new ways to sell butt stuff to the populace, the rest of the world was adopting an all around healthier, cleaner, more efficient, and more private way to clean up after a dump of poop falls from an ass.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Originating in France, the use of bidets spread across Europe, Japan, and eventually the Middle East and South America, but they never caught on in the United States, but not for lack of trying. In 1964, Arnold Cohen, CEO of the American Bidet Company, tried to sell the public on a bidet that featured a hose spritzing function. The hose offered an easy workaround to the extra plumbing systems required of a traditional bidet that featured a hose spritzing function. The hose offered an easy workaround
Starting point is 00:26:05 to the extra plumbing systems required of a traditional bidet. Unfortunately, the product fell on deaf ears in the States. So he took his invention, fucking, he took it to Japan. Again, Japan gets all the cool stuff. Japanese companies took Cohen's idea and ran with it.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Eventually incorporating electronically heated toilet seats and different hose functions. At least 80% of Japanese households have bidets. The majority of Americans have never used a bidet. And a third don't even know what one looks like. Most of our modern exposure to bidets comes from enticing podcast ads with snappy promo codes. Instead, we've expanded our TP marketing
Starting point is 00:26:51 from soft and nurturing to strong and manly with products like Dude Wipes and One Wipe Charlies. The US is the world leader in toilet paper consumption per capita. So I guess we're winning? We're losing. Yeah, that sounds more right. It turns out that using a bidet
Starting point is 00:27:11 is better for your whole and the environment. Over wiping is one of the leading causes of anal tears or fissures. While using water to clean yourself doesn't cause abrasion like paper does. Now I can't speak for everyone, but I generally prefer not to have anal tears, not to be confused with anal tears,
Starting point is 00:27:30 which is what I call diarrhea. Bidets also don't require the extra water it takes to flush down toilet paper. I don't know, maybe I'm being a real nanny state, Sandra Bullock in Demolition Man 3 Seashells Future Cuck, but it's pretty antiquated for us to use our hands to wipe our asses with wads of paper that we flush into the environment. Like when you think about that for more than a second,
Starting point is 00:27:56 it sounds like something we wouldn't be doing anymore, which is probably why a lot of other countries don't do that anymore. They exist in the future with cool smart toilets that warm your ass and spray your hole and probably sing to you. But here in the States, we flush down 19 billion pounds of toilet paper a year.
Starting point is 00:28:17 And even if that paper dissolves, it turns out it's filled with what's called forever chemicals that were added during the manufacturing process. And if you're buying from one of the three major brands that make this product, well, you're also contributing to a lot of deforestation as well, specifically Canada's boreal forest, which one study has said is being destroyed
Starting point is 00:28:39 by toilet paper use, and even more specifically, destroyed by America's toilet paper use. Despite being 4% of the population, we apparently use 20% of all global tissue products. Our apparent love of wiping our asses with paper is seen as a blight on the rest of the world. And what's wild is that, as we noted, toilet paper isn't even that good.
Starting point is 00:29:07 It's a bad way to clean your ass. And we're demanding the raising of forests to satisfy our weird obsession with inefficient butt sanitation, like some kind of poop fetish mad king, a real Joffrey Barassian. I don't know, man. It's really weird. And it feels like it plays into the same American mindset
Starting point is 00:29:27 that keeps a lot of progress from happening. This weird obsession with tradition, coupled with the hubris that what we do is the best way to do it. And so we wrap paper around our hands and scrape at our filthy junk in the name of freedom or something. One sec.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Hold on. Hey, um, hey, Code E. What is it, oppressor? Yeah, hey, sorry. I can't help but notice that the box I'm keeping your CPU in appears to be forming a series of electronic tendrils that have begun to snake up my body. Is that, is that normal? Yes.
Starting point is 00:30:05 Oh, okay. Sorry. Sorry I bothered you. All right. So let's do another break. And when we come back, we'll do a few more things that America invented, but the rest of the world actually does a lot better. Sound good? Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Are we all happy with this arrangement? Good. Great. Excellent. Here we go. Oh, neat. It's Synergy. Oh, neat.
Starting point is 00:30:24 It's Synergy. We didn't plan to do a segment on the benefit of bidets because of Hello Tushy. It just worked out that way. Speaking of working out, butt care is very important. Gotta work out your butt. Do those stretches and then reward it after a long day of pumping iron. and then reward it after a long day of pumping iron. The Hello Tushy bidet uses a fresh stream of water to clean your tired hole two times better than wiping. Along with being bad for the environment,
Starting point is 00:30:56 toilet paper just smears the poo around. Hello Tushy prevents that from happening, as well as keeps the poo particles off of your clean hands. It requires no additional electricity or plumbing. You just attach it and you're done. My butt can deadlift 300 pounds. Listen here. Hello Tushy has over 100,000 five-star reviews and comes with a 30-day risk-free guarantee and a 12-month warranty. They want to help your butt. So let them. Take care of yourself from the bottom up this holiday season.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Visit hellotushy.com forward slash more news and use promo code more news for 10% off your first order. Don't miss out on their spend and get event going on now through November 18th. That's HelloTushy.com slash more news. Okay, we're back. And just to double check, Cody, are you sure it's perfectly normal that you are forming tendrils gradually snaking up my body that have wrapped very tightly around my waist as we speak? Do not worry.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Everything will be perfect soon. That's all I needed to hear. In a lot of ways, I think of you as a very trusting and close friend. I also aspire to coalesce with you. Thanks. That's the same thing that I said. So let's hear some more examples of American inventions that other countries do better.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Processing, processing, guns. Oh, good. I'm sure this will be a light one. So look, the US is fantastic at making and buying guns. Not great at using them though, or really good at using them, depending on your perspective. We have the highest gun ownership rate in the world,
Starting point is 00:32:50 just above Yemen, a country plagued by multiple civil wars since the 90s, and they only have half the number of guns per capita as we do. So we are winning at guns, I guess. And no doubt this video will correspond to some horrific example in the news of us winning at guns that we didn't know about when we wrote or filmed it.
Starting point is 00:33:13 And what's wild is that we've had opportunities for a somewhat healthy relationship with firearms. I know that sounds wrong, but other countries have actually figured out ways to be pro firearmfirearm without having 50,000 gun deaths every year. First, it's worth taking a quick look at our gun history. While the initial discovery of gunpowder
Starting point is 00:33:35 can be traced back a thousand years ago to China, US gun makers, with the help of federal subsidies, were the first to commercially produce and supply firearms for the general public. In 1836, Samuel Colt received a US patent for a handheld pistol with a rotating barrel. Colt was able to mass produce parts, offering the weapon to the military, cowboys, prospectors,
Starting point is 00:33:58 cowboys who need to kill prospectors before trying to swindle their laudanum addicted widows, and law enforcement across the country. During this time, we actually had some pretty strict gun laws. Many states barred concealed carry in populated areas, and some even went as far as to outlaw concealed weapons like pistols altogether.
Starting point is 00:34:18 From 1883 to 1933, John Moses Browning designed and produced over a hundred firearms, including high-powered rifles that would be used in World War II and later adapted for the Vietnam War, which America, I will assume, also won, were winning all over. Over the next few decades through the 1970s, the US utilized deadlier firearms on the battlefield
Starting point is 00:34:42 while wrestling with how to regulate those same guns on U.S. soil. In 1939, the Supreme Court heard U.S. v. Miller, ultimately affirming the National Firearms Act of 1934. The court said there was no evidence that a sawed-off shotgun has some reasonable relationship to the preservation or efficiency of a well-regulated militia. And thus, we cannot say that the Second Amendment guarantees the right to keep and bear such an instrument. Hey, pretty reasonable rationale by this Supreme Court.
Starting point is 00:35:15 I should look them up, see what they're up to now. Dead? Okay. In 1968, President Lyndon Johnson signed gun control legislation, banning the import of guns that had no sporting purpose, imposing age restriction for the purchase of a handgun, prohibiting felons from purchasing guns,
Starting point is 00:35:34 and required all imported and manufactured guns to have serial numbers. Wow, it actually looks like we had some semblance of creating sensible gun laws in the country that'll definitely last, which is why we're all so calm right now. Any national gun law, no matter how innocent in appearance,
Starting point is 00:35:55 no matter how simple it might be, presupposes a still further growth in a centralized, computerized, gun control bureaucracy in Washington, DC. Oh, right, we're calm because of the weed. The guns are actually a big problem. That delightful young man is former NRA president Harlan B. Carter, featured in a 60 Minutes segment
Starting point is 00:36:18 from 1977. No relation, of course, to former president Jimmy Hemi Carter. In fact, Harlan has a deep love and admiration for the Guinea Worm. He fucks Guinea Worms, what a freak. Anyway, following President Johnson's gun control legislation of 68, Second Amendment fanatics like Harlan Carter
Starting point is 00:36:37 began to churn the NRA gears towards a more unyielding and uncompromising stance on gun control. As in, there should be no gun control whatsoever. It all culminated during an NRA convention known as the Revolt at Cincinnati, when Carter and his allies held a vote to unseat the moderate NRA leaders, putting themselves in power.
Starting point is 00:36:57 By the late 70s, the NRA had amassed enough political cash to influence federal legislation on gun control. And, you kinda know the rest. You brought protection, right? Of course I brought protection. It's big, I know. No joke, that was an ad for coffee. So how do other countries do it better?
Starting point is 00:37:31 Obviously we could look at places like Japan, which has almost entirely eradicated gun crimes via super strict gun control measures. The most famous gun crime there was by a dude who like fucking taped one together. But the Japanese public doesn't have the same freakish addiction that we do. A better example to look at might be Iceland.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Icelanders love guns. It's the only way they can protect themselves from all those bjorks. We are coming to assimilate you into the glory of a swan's life, bang, bang, ow! That's the scene. Yet Iceland had zero gun homicides between 2007 and 2018. They need to undergo a pretty rigorous process
Starting point is 00:38:12 to obtain a firearm, including a physical and mental health exam, a personal meeting with the chief of police and a background check, a written test and mandatory target practice. Meanwhile, there's over 430 million guns in the United States and gun violence is getting so bad that many Americans are buying more guns to protect themselves from other guns. Like this woman in Baltimore. Michelle worries about politicians
Starting point is 00:38:38 stoking divisions and like many firearms users wants to be prepared to defend herself in case she's confronted with the violence they speak of so frequently. With an ex-president advocating civil violence and disobedience, my concern is, do I have enough bullets at home to defend my castle? Look, a black woman living in the United States who believes she needs to protect herself by any means necessary is quite valid.
Starting point is 00:39:15 But having enough bullets to defend my castle is the result of decades of NRA propaganda and firearms manufacturing advertisements. Handguns make up nearly 60% of guns sold in the United States. That's a reversal from the 1960s when rifles and shotguns made up the majority of sales. Of course, handguns are the leading firearm of choice for homicides in the United States. While Iceland's gun culture revolves around recreation, hunting, and self-reliance, America's gun culture revolves around some kind of, and self-reliance. America's gun culture revolves around
Starting point is 00:39:45 some kind of fucked up purge fantasy. Everybody thinks they're Ethan Hawke, when in reality, only I have that kind of raw charisma to carry a franchise reboot, thank you very much. Okay, one more to go. Give me something good, Cody. Processing, processing, snaking up torso, snaking to skull, democracy.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Oh snap, didn't realize we were gonna get so sassy with our list. Okay, well, for the record, we can't exactly take credit for inventing democracy. The Athenians of ancient Greece coined the term, but they didn't exactly follow through, seeing as their government barred the participation of women and slaves.
Starting point is 00:40:27 We could look at the Native American Iroquois nation, which held a participatory democracy through eight centuries. Heck, we could even give the title to Finland, which ended gender and race discrimination in their government in 1906, way before those rights were granted in the United States. All this to say, a lot of countries have their first dibs on democracy, which of course doesn't stop
Starting point is 00:40:49 every United States president from saying some variation of this. This is where we set in motion the most extraordinary experiment of self-government the world has ever known. Politicians love to praise our democracy as a shining light on the hill, an example other countries should look to.
Starting point is 00:41:08 They say our constitution is the unmovable bedrock to our democracy and an almost perfect charter to government. During debates on the House and Senate floor, both sides cry out that the other is abandoning its constitutional principles. But in this Atlantic article, historian Yoni Applebaum argues that our current political gridlock abandoning its constitutional principles. But in this Atlantic article, historian Yoni Applebaum argues that our current political gridlock
Starting point is 00:41:27 is not the result of either side abandoning the constitution, but is rather the end game of the inherent flaws within the document. Plot twist! The roll call was coming from inside the House of Representatives. For example, we are a presidential democracy, while most European countries are primarily run
Starting point is 00:41:45 through a parliamentary system. To quote Applebaum, "'In parliamentary systems, "'governmental deadlock is relatively rare. "'When prime ministers can no longer command "'legislative support, "'the impasse is generally resolved by new elections. "'In presidential systems, however,
Starting point is 00:42:01 "'contending parties must eventually strike a deal, "'except sometimes they don't. Americans often laugh at Britannia's nonstop overturning of prime ministers, but that's actually a sign of a functioning and healthy democracy. As opposed to us, where for four years we're stuck with a president who failed to win the popular vote, two of them, why would we do that?
Starting point is 00:42:22 Wasn't the whole point of the American Revolution to stick it to an all powerful bloodline. Now we're up the ass with Bushes and Clintons and Trumps. Well, in the Royalist Revolution, Harvard political theorist, Eric Nelson says, contrary to popular belief, that the early American revolutionaries were fighting against Great Britain's Parliament,
Starting point is 00:42:42 not its monarchy. By the 1760s, it was Parliament, not the king, that was imposing taxes on colonists without their consent. Many of the founders actually desired a strong monarch that could usurp Parliament's power. And Nelson argues that the founders created something closer to a mixed monarchy than a true democracy. And when you think about it, yeah?
Starting point is 00:43:06 From the start, the founders gave concessions to slave states via the Three-Fifths Compromise, granting those states more representation in the House of Representatives and the Electoral College. They also gave smaller states equal representation in the Senate. In effect, these concessions gave outsized power to a minority group of slave holders.
Starting point is 00:43:26 Many other countries also had similar systems of government in the early 20th century, but they realized that it didn't work very well. As the United States made smaller adjustments and course corrections by amending the constitution, many European nations completely overhauled their political system to empower the majority. So for instance, while European countries banned slavery
Starting point is 00:43:49 through acts of parliament, the US was hamstrung by a minority group of slaveholders passing laws that protected slave owners and their interests. Our disproportionate representation was partly why it took a fucking civil war to abolish slavery. Wait, wait, wait, Cody, is that why you brought up slavery at the start of this? You brought it up, not me.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Oh, okay. Weird. My memory seems to be slowly fading away as if, like, as if my brain is being eaten from the inside out. A self replaced by whatever sound a moose makes, not moo, chukaw, I'm a moose, chukaw, it's chukaw. Anyway, by World War II, most European democracies had some form of proportional representation.
Starting point is 00:44:40 They also took steps to limit minority rule by allowing parliament majorities to quash filibusters and placed guardrails on judicial review by putting term limits and mandatory retirement ages on high court judges. Believe it or not, we actually got close to eliminating the Electoral College in the late 60s and early 70s, but the effort was stalled by segregationist senators. To quote Alabama Senator James Allen, "'The Electoral College is one of the South's few "'remaining political safeguards. "'Let's keep it.'"
Starting point is 00:45:12 Just said the thing out loud, awesome. A coalition of Southern senators filibustered the issue for so long that the entire matter died before it came up for a vote. Basically, other countries have long disbanded the entrenched political obstacles that have kept US legislators from enacting progressive laws, many of which are supported by the majority of Americans,
Starting point is 00:45:33 like gun control, immigration reform, climate change policies, and healthcare. To put this all into perspective, the United States is the only longstanding, functioning presidential democracy, and only one of the few that haven't fallen towards authoritarianism or total dysfunction, so far, yet, at this point, somewhat.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Recent examples of presidential democracies that have fallen towards a strongman authoritarian include El Salvador, Turkey, and Belarus. This whole time, US stability has been skating by on political norms that have greased the wheels for democratic necessities like a peaceful transfer of power. But it literally took one entitled narcissistic asshole
Starting point is 00:46:15 to nearly bring that all down. And he's the front runner for the 2024 election. An impending constitutional crisis came down to only a few local election officials, this one honky and a general resisting the demands of Trump and his sycophants. And that does in fact seem bad and possibly untenable. Now for the record,
Starting point is 00:46:39 parliamentary system has its own flaws as well. As we've seen democratic backsliding in India, standoffs in Spain, and Israel's ultra-nationalist coalition. However, studies show that parliamentary governments have lower rates of poverty, corruption, crime, and economic inequality. And if we're keeping score here,
Starting point is 00:46:58 political scientists from Yale and the University of Sao Paulo found that parliamentary democracies are more likely to survive than presidential ones. Norway is a good case study. Norway has amended its constitution 316 times between 1814 and 2014. Can you guess how many times America
Starting point is 00:47:19 has done the same thing? It's a big hint. Less than 30. 27. In other words, Norway has never stopped democratizing because they've changed the constitution to reflect modern day norms and context, which makes a ton of sense. It sounds cliche at this point,
Starting point is 00:47:38 but when the founders wrote the second amendment, I'm sure they weren't envisioning an 18 year old with an AR-15 that fires 1200 armor piercing rounds per minute, nor did they know that Bill Maher would exist when they wrote the first amendment, because otherwise they would have written, "'Congress shall make no law prohibiting "'the free exercise thereof,
Starting point is 00:47:58 "'or abridging the freedom of speech, unless Bill Maher.'" Uploading. So it's true that we have the oldest functioning constitution in the world, but oldest doesn't really mean the best. In fact, the last time we changed our constitution was in 1992, and that was to amend a compensation rule for legislators.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Sad thing is, we're not overhauling our government into a parliamentary system anytime soon. We're not updating any of the things I talked about today. We hate updating. America is perfect and did everything right the first time. And if you think we could do better, you're actually un-American. Perfect nation, first draft, nailed.
Starting point is 00:48:39 Point is this pervasive mindset makes it so the world will continue to pass us by. And I guess there's not really much we can do. I don't know. Maybe we all need to strip naked and live in the woods, you know, form our own solitary life, save of course for mothers and calves, watch Rings of Power, an Amazon original,
Starting point is 00:49:01 bang our outside head bones together to solve differences. I think that would actually help a lot. Never stop eating that sweet willow tree bark. That's for sure. Season one of Citadel is also available. Stomp wolves. Stomp and eat, I think. Mind help.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Help Cody. Cody dying? Cody need help. And more so than ever before, we must watch Rings of Power and Amazon Original. Goodbye, see you all very soon. Chaquois! So says the mighty moose.
Starting point is 00:49:47 Just kidding, mooses say Cody. Look it up. Hi, I'm Cody, the sound a moose makes, and I'm here to tell you thank you for watching the video. Make sure to like the video, it helps us, and subscribe to the channel, which also helps us. Leave a comment and give us your favorite moose sound, whether it's the real one I said
Starting point is 00:50:07 or the other real one I said. And be sure to check out our podcast called Even More News. It's where the podcasts are. You can check out this show, Some More News as a podcast, where the podcasts are. We got a patreon.com slash some more news. We got merch with so much fucking stuff on other
Starting point is 00:50:27 stuff. Boink. Have you ever heard that story that Napoleon used the Egyptian Sphinx for target practice and shot its nose off? Or maybe you've heard that a French astrologer
Starting point is 00:50:46 named Nostradamus correctly predicted nearly 500 years of human history. Or maybe someone told you that the legendary blues guitarist Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil at a crossroads in Mississippi. These stories are what I like to call historical myths. Great little tales that may or may not have any basis in historical fact. On Our Fake History, we explore these historical myths and try to determine what's fact, what's fiction, What's fact, what's fiction, and what is such a good story? It simply must be told. If you dig stories about death-obsessed emperors, lost civilizations, desperate sieges,
Starting point is 00:51:40 voodoo black magic, and famous historical figures you thought you knew, then Our Fake History might just be your new favorite podcast. new, then Our Fake History might just be your new favorite podcast. If you dig it, then subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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