Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 277 - Christophe Davidson
Episode Date: July 13, 2013Comedian Christophe Davidson joins us to talk bikemaking, ants, and Cloud Atlas....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 277 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a bon vivant Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah, yeah. Well, it's the best revenge.
Is that a bon vivant is living well?
Yeah.
Okay. Weird. I thought that you could be a bon vivant.
Yeah, you can. You can be a bon vivant.
Right. You can be a Bon Vivant. You can be an Enfant Terrible.
You can be...
Those are the big two French things you can be.
Yeah, yeah.
A paparazzi.
Yeah, yeah.
You can be a unitard.
You can be a soumeresse.
You can be a dog, hamburger, super cool, le troisième étoile, the third star, Brian Scrooge Land.
These are hockey things.
Our guest today, first time guest on the show, somebody who's visiting Vancouver all the way from Toronto, a very funny comedian, Mr. Christoph Davidson is our guest.
Thank you.
Yes.
Yeah, thanks for coming.
Oh, my pleasure.
Do you want to get to know us?
Okay.
Get to know us.
So, Christoph, you came here by way of bike all the way from Toronto.
Yes, you guys offered to pay for a cab, which I don't know if listeners realize that.
Oh, we're very rich.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, Dave and I own a cab company.
We're kind of drumming up our own business.
Yeah, we can order you a cab just because we have this one guy we really hate.
Yeah.
But you have to sign a waiver that allows him to either give you cash in the cab.
For gold.
Yeah.
Or Taxi Cab Confessions.
Was that another cab theme show?
Oh, Cash Cab.
I got what you're going for.
Oh, yeah.
With Adam Groh.
Yeah.
When you said he had to sign a waiver, I got confused.
I was thinking Barenaked Ladies.
Oh.
Because it's so dangerous
i uh i gathered that in the cash cab they give you cash on camera and then when it's done they
take the cash back and they they mail you a check oh so it's not actually a cash cab at all it's a
check cab yeah i do know that a lot of the people aren't picked up off the street that you could actually audition yes we're breaking this shit can i oh i swore yeah yeah
breaking it wide open folks but yeah you can uh that often people will audition or they they know
ahead of time and they really yeah they they plan to pick you up it's not all uh it's not all just
reels i always wondered about that because like know, like if you were going somewhere, if you had tickets to a play.
Yeah.
And then this guy's, like, circling the theater asking you dumb questions.
You'd be like, oh, the play.
Well, he's not circling the theater.
He has a route, and you have to answer these questions by the time.
Like, he always manages to pick people who have, like, ten minutes between here and there.
Yeah, that's
true significantly long cab rides yeah just did that it wouldn't work so it's uh huh just like
you know road ice road truckers it's all fake guys what wait a minute wait can you audition
to be an ice road trucker are you telling me i hope he's f-a-k-e nowE. Now, Dave and I were both, well, I was impressed.
Dave was confused that you flew here and then you bought a bicycle.
Yes.
Just for your time while you're in Vancouver.
You're here for 17 days?
Yeah, just about.
Two and a half weeks?
Yeah, two and a half weeks.
And so because I'm a traveling comedian and funds are always tight, I thought instead of spending cabs back and forth every night, a bike would be cheaper.
Did you buy a helmet as well?
A helmet came with a bike.
Wow.
Which wasn't even advertised.
But the man who offered the bike to me was nice enough.
I said, I'm looking for a helmet.
And I said, my head probably would be too big.
And he's like, I got just the one.
And he came back with a helmet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You also got, do you need a backpack?
I also got some other things on this.
They're pretty wet.
They're all pretty wet and bloody.
But you found somebody on Craigslist and it was like a straight up.
You just gave.
You give me $65, I'll give you this bike.
And the bike worked?
It had a wobbly back tire.
So then I took it to the pedal depot here in this area, actually, Vancouver.
And that's kind of one of those co-ops where they teach you how to fix it.
Oh, I see.
I'm nervous about that. I feel like I wouldn't-ops where they teach you how to fix it. Oh, I see. I'm nervous about that.
I feel like I wouldn't know enough to even be taught how to fix a thing.
I feel like I want to know the basics.
Yeah.
It was intimidating because you go in and people are kind of jockeying for position.
It's a really good exercise in patience because you just want them to help you the entire time.
Yeah, yeah.
It can't happen because there's dozens of other people who also need help.
But how does it work, though?
Like you go in and you're like, okay, my bike's broken.
And then they go, all right, grab a wrench.
And you just start fixing it?
Well, they ask you what the problem is specifically.
And then they're like, well, that needs this.
Fear of commitment.
Financial mainly.
That's why I'm at a bike store bookstore what does it cost to do it yourself
six dollars an hour uh and that's them minimum one hour uh i guess like you can't spend i was
here for 20 minutes here's two dollars yeah hopefully not i mean it's yeah it's all like
it's like a non-profit organization it's of those places. Very cute girl, too.
I'm pretty sure she was gay, and I didn't want to ask her out in case she was.
But then I felt maybe I should have just gone for it.
Yeah, what do you care?
You don't live here.
You'll never see her again.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what my cousin said.
I should have done that.
Well, go back.
I will.
Or maybe she listens to the podcast.
You know what?
Break your bike.
Yeah.
Dave and I will help you break your bike. All right. Maybe she listens to the podcast you know what break your bike yeah dave and i'll help you break your bike all right maybe she'll listen to the
podcast this isn't coming up till after you're out of town yeah i'll uh i'll break your bike for six
dollars minimum one hour so you go in and then they uh you say this is what's wrong and then
they tell you yeah they go okay well what you need to do is either take your wheel off and like my wheel was wobbly so i had to true my wheel which
yeah they have terms and they just start using them on you and what was the term sorry true
the wheel oh okay make it true yeah make it true okay uh because it was yeah certainly it was false
and i uh yeah so i uh they put it on a little there's like a little thing where they hold the It was false It was false wheel And I Yeah so I
They put it on a little
There's like a little
Thing where they
Hold the wheel
And then
A spinnaker
You turn the spokes
And it kind of gets
A spinnaker
I'll take it
Yep
I'm bringing that to the shop
I'm going to
Press the girl
Use it
Absolutely
Yeah
Anything we tell you
You can use it at the shop
In order to woo
A most likely lesbian woman.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Tell her you're a real bike dandy.
The more likely, the better.
So you put it on the thing.
You're trying to make it true.
The spinnaker.
Sorry.
So then they show you how to fix up your wheel.
They have a bunch of used parts that you can take that are much much cheaper than if you buy they have new ones as well and so they just kind of say this is how you do it and
they'll come back and they come back to you five minutes later i usually would figure something out
within 30 seconds and then run into another problem and then just stand there yeah for five
to ten minutes i accidentally put an extra bike seat on my bike i went to a place um uh we had this picture on the wall and it fell we never
actually hung it on the wall we put it on the ground and it fell fell from the ground swung
down and it smashed and so we had to get new glass put on the front of the picture and so
we went to an art store where they they don't do framing, but they do – it's do-it-yourself framing.
Their only policy is we do not touch your art.
We will help you with things, but we won't touch any of the art.
We're like, that's our policy.
Are they like, we can't touch your bike?
No, no.
I don't think it's as precious as that.
They certainly, yeah, can mess around with it.
But, yeah, I didn't know there was a framing co-op as well.
This city is just...
Well, it's not.
It's an art store.
And I walked in and I said, do you do framing?
And they said, yes and no.
And you're like, oh, great.
It's a two-part answer.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Can you point me in the direction of a place that does framing but it
was very much like what you're describing of like okay i don't know what the next step is and also
i don't know where any of these tools are yeah someone help me yeah just a pile of tools so you
really had to go for i i love the dough i honestly i've been i when i get home i think i'm gonna
build a bike really yeah from from scratch yep that's the plan i figure uh you know you know
as a comedian you kind of do the same thing for years and years and i was like i think i want to
i want to add some new knowledge to this brain you know enough yeah just learn something
completely new i would like to learn something but what but what pieces are there in a bike
oh hundreds i would say.
Yeah, like, because you got to... Do you buy a kit or are you going to assemble each?
I think I'm going to find a frame.
I'm going to try to find everything used, like, you know,
but in good condition and then build it from there.
Because once it's built, then obviously no...
Would you be willing to buy an entire bike that's just not built?
Like, it seems like you're not going to go around shopping for every single part part that's not yeah i'd be up for that i need every spoke are you
you've got one for sale no i'm not i'm i'm just thinking like yeah you should make one of those
crazy frankenstein bikes that have like this super like if the handlebars are attached to
the frame or you're like nope i only want ones where i can attach the handlebars to the frame
myself that is yeah that's the idea because that way i could just no matter what happened for the rest
of my life i could fix it you have yourself to blame for for breaking down every yeah like a
cab would have been cheaper well um you should maybe take it one step farther where you just have to find all the pieces yeah
oh man yeah like you can't go and like just go to a bike store and buy a frame like you have to go
find or you have to forge all the pieces or steal but just one piece from any bike i find yeah like
a reflector the seat's pretty easy to steal yeah and that front wheel apparently just for some
person be like why did they steal my bell and only my bell somebody stole it was a beautiful bell yeah yeah yeah well yeah would you build
the bell yeah the bell's not working i'll take it apart yeah well first i have to go to the steel
worker right i have to go to the foundry to get things started wow and then take it from there
this could be like a whole because i know a guy like that was his whole thing.
He made these crazy like Franken-bikes
that looked kind of like old kind of chopper motorcycles
mixed with kind of 70s style bikes.
He would argue with his father
when he was building these bikes.
Is that from, is that chopper, chopper?
Chopper, chopper?
That is the show. Yeah, yeah's the show yeah well that was the sequel
they didn't have one dumb brother send off
yeah chopper chopper chopper is the uh the third send off oh yeah from the original chopper series
there was but this guy like he found an old lamp that would go on the front of an old boat.
And he attached that.
And it had a generator that you put on the...
Have you seen those?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They go on the back tire and that lit up the lamp.
It was crazy.
And he like, well, yeah.
This guy could be your hero.
This guy could be like your inspiration.
Yeah.
He wore goggles whenever he rode his could be like your inspiration. Yeah. He wore goggles
whenever he rode his bike,
like welder's goggles.
And this guy's
a friend of yours
or a friend of a friend?
Well, you know,
does a guy like that
have any friends,
really,
besides his bicycle?
Yeah,
and the open road.
Yeah,
and the bike rack.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you know
that French guy
who eats bikes?
Yeah.
Monsieur Mange Tout?
It's the same guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's him.
He makes, like, design.
It's like a guy who makes designer cakes.
I wonder if he's really good at building bikes.
Like, he knows every piece you need because he's eaten them all.
Hmm, I'm not entirely full.
Where's that bell?
Yeah, somebody bring me out a bowl of petals.
full. Where's that bell? Yeah, somebody bring me out a bowl
of petals.
He'd hit
on the girl.
That's what you need.
You need a bowl of petals before you
get the confidence to ask.
Isn't that what your uncle always told you?
Some steel courage.
It's a great opening line. I ate one of these. some steel courage. Oh, you know,
it's a great opening line.
Oh, you know, I ate one of these.
So, are you originally born and raised
in Toronto? Yes, yeah.
And lived in the UK for a while?
No, I spent some time there
a few years ago.
But yeah, I grew up in Toronto a few years ago. But yeah,
I grew up in Toronto and started stand-up
in Montreal, though.
That was where...
Ooh.
Yeah.
Oh, la la.
Yeah, juste pour rire.
Just pour rire.
Now, you,
from pictures
on your website and such,
you used to have
like a long hair
and wear like
a tennis sweatband.
Yeah.
It was very...
Oh, it was a Richie Tenenbaum? Yeah, Richie Tenenbaum. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and it wasn tennis sweatband. Yeah. It was very... Oh, it was a Richie Tenenbaum?
Yeah, Richie Tenenbaum, yeah.
Yeah, and it wasn't tennis specific.
It was an all-purpose sweatband.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
It looked very...
It looked like...
Is it Bjorn Borg that had that look?
That was the number one thing that people would say.
And did you do that on purpose?
Do you love Bjorn Borg?
No, I didn't even know who he was.
Oh.
Why did you...
Because it's a very specific look
you had like a big beard long hair and like a tennis well you say all purpose i say tennis
you say all purpose lady at the shop might say that's that's a biking sweatband if i ever saw
that i that i ate at some point um but i uh no i i just wore it honestly it was funnily enough i was i was
cycling one day it's all gonna get back to me and my big obsession um yeah it's not about the bike
i uh no i was i was biking and and you know you've got long hair i guess you put it put it back in a
ponytail or whatever you do that's foreboding in my circles. Yeah.
Agreed.
So I had to do the headband because it was getting in my face.
It was getting dangerous.
Brian, would you consider a hairband?
Like one of those plastic semicircles that little girls put on? Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
Now, am I allowed to pick what cartoon character is featured on it?
I mean...
Within reason.
Yeah.
I mean, they're pretty much only going to be Disney princesses or Hello Kitty.
What about a Tweety Bird?
Is it possible to get a Tweety Bird one?
I don't know.
Okay.
Okay, Hello Kitty's fine.
Tweety Bird is...
You know, Tweety's more of a macho boy thing.
Yeah.
No Tasmanian devils.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is the most girly of the looney tunes like what
what looney tune would appeal to a woman most oh yeah uh because i know there was like a ladybugs
bunny yeah there was there was only a ladybugs bunny but she wasn't good esmeralda fudd
were there any like i'm trying to think to think, but they were all dudes.
Yeah, it's a dude world.
Yeah.
Okay, what are the...
There's Porky.
Porky, Pig, Sylvester, and Tweety.
Daffy.
Daffy, he's a duck.
Bugs Bunny, of course.
Yeah, the guy with the mustache that shot guns.
Yeah, Yosemite Samity.
Yeah.
Roadrunner.
Roadrunner, Tweety.
The chicken, that giant chicken. Foghorn Leghorn. Yeah, Fogemite Samity. Yeah. Roadrunner. Roadrunner. Tweety. The chicken.
That giant chicken.
Froghorn and Leghorn.
Yeah, Froghorn and Leghorn.
Marvin Martian.
Yeah, they're all dudes.
Are those racist birds part of this?
Heckle and Jekyll?
They're from something else.
They're from just, I think they were their own.
Sure.
They were their own entity.
I'm trying to think of a female character.
Oh, well, Tweety's grandmother.
Not that that would be someone that they would...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not that it was his grandmother biologically, of course.
The owner of Tweety.
Yeah.
Tweety's owner.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think a lot of little girls are into...
Into Looney Tunes.
They always have shirts of her, yeah.
I mean, the Tiny Toons had girls.
Yeah.
Women.
And the Disney... The core Disney characters had Minnie and Dog Pluto.
Girl Pluto, right?
Daisy?
Daisy Duck.
Oh, Daisy Duck, yeah.
Who was Girl Pluto?
I don't know if there was a Girl Pluto.
Was there Girl Goofy?
I think maybe on Goof Troop.
Goofette, probably.
That's my guess.
Anyways, Looney Tunes, just for boys.
No girls allowed.
Yeah, apparently.
Oh, I guess the girl...
All smoking in there, drinking.
Probably like Mad Men, but even worse.
Yeah.
Because a couple decades before.
Well, yeah, because there's the girl that got chased around by Pepe Le Pew.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, a female skunk.
She was a cat. Yeah, she was a cat yeah she's a cat oh she
right of course and no one would want to look up to her like yeah like like a sexual victim yeah
speaking of like madman has anybody done like a looney tunes madman drawing where all it's
all the characters from madman but as looney tunes because that should be a thing that the
internet has done what about the female characters?
Go internet!
Well, Joan is the...
She's probably the cat that's being chased around.
That old lady that we talked about earlier.
Those are the only two!
That old lady could be...
Peggy?
There you go.
What other female characters are there on Mad Men?
There are some wives.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Who would be...
Betty Draper?
I guess the old woman's doing double duty.
Well, it's the old woman and the cat playing all of these roles.
It's a real Peter Sellers situation.
Although Bugs would want to do it.
He would obviously want to go drag for some of it.
Oh, yeah.
Of course he would.
Oh, that's true.
Any kind of woman role was filled by Bugs dressing up as a lady.
And when he was...
Oh, that's what he used to confuse Elmer.
That was his big thing.
Would Elmer Fudd get attracted to this?
Yes, he would.
Oh, because he wouldn't dress up as a lady bunny.
He'd dress up as a lady person.
Yeah.
And then Elmer Fudd would immediately be enthralled by it.
Yeah, yeah.
Just wrapped up.
I would like to see a live...
Is Popeye part of this universe?
That's what I was thinking about Tom and Jerry
Which I think is also wrong
I don't think they're part of it
Yeah, no, they're not either
No, but like
And neither is Woody Woodpecker
What if they did a live action version
Where it was like a rabbit
But like it was just rabbit sized
But wearing a lady's wig and a dress
And not expressionless
Yeah, yeah
But then like a guy's like
What a pretty lady he gets hearts in his
eyes did elmer and yosemite ever team up um it's weird because they did that rap song
the rabbit is mine yeah human villain rap um they that's weird because there wasn't a lot of cross like there
was kind of like streams right like sylvester and tweety never crossed over with bugs bunny
that was never like they were all in their individual worlds like roadrunner and coyote
never met yosemite sam yeah except in space jam where they all team yeah yeah yeah that's why
space jam was such an important movie Because there were no women in it.
I think that's where Woman Bugs, I think, was in that.
Okay.
Oh, you had a girlfriend?
Or, I don't know, I think Bugs Bunny was a confirmed bachelor.
Oh, do you?
Yeah.
It's also very still male-centric just to be like, okay, so we'll just do a woman version of this male character. Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Very much Adam Ribs.
Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like.
Adam's Rib?
Yeah.
Adam Ribs.
That's a great place for ribs.
That's the name of the first man, isn't it?
Adam Ribs.
That's what they used to call him back in the garden.
Hey, Ribs.
Hit the showers.
Oh, ribs. Hit the showers. Oh, man.
So I want to ask you about your Craigslist experience.
Okay.
Buying this bike.
Are you a Craigslist, like, guy?
Do you do it a lot?
Have you ever done it?
I've done it before.
I feel like I might have sold something on Craigslist before.
Your ex-wife.
Was it a bike?
Oh, man.
That would have been great.
But no, not much of a Craigslist-er.
This was...
I looked on Kijiji as well.
Like, I'm aware of Craigslist and Kijiji and the whole thing.
I'm not aware of Kijiji.
I don't know what that is.
It's the same thing, except I think they let you sell dogs.
What?
Craigslist does it.
Oh, wow. Wow, Kijiji.
You should have bought a dog
while you were here. Really settled in for the
two weeks. Like, I'm sure there are
deals.
I don't know. Cheaper than taking somebody
out every night. Oh, yeah, sure.
You can eat like a king.
Oh, no.
I could eat a dog over two weeks.
Sure.
But, like, yeah.
I'm sure there are deals to be had on these sites.
But the meeting the person.
Like, the whole point of the internet is to not meet people.
Right.
Is that what the point of the internet was?
I'm pretty sure that's why the internet was invented.
Oh, yeah. It was made by people who, yeah, who don't really get into socializing. is that what the point of the internet i'm pretty sure that's why the internet was invented oh yeah
so it's made by people who yeah who don't don't really get it socializing
and the people like i always feel like i'll go over to the guy's house and he won't remember
that we had arranged this i yeah i the one time that i went to go buy a thing off of craigslist
i feel like whenever you go over to strangers house house, you have to smell their house. And that's always a weird thing, especially if it's a person that you don't know.
Sometimes instead of just saying $200 in those parentheses, it'll just say, smell my house.
One bike, smell my house.
That's the cost.
$200 or body odor.
Or mothballs.
Did you
go in this guy's house?
Did you smell the house?
He actually was pretty smart.
Craig's sister.
I did smell the helmet.
Just checking to make sure it didn't...
Hey, a dog's been wearing this.
It has ear holes.
Yeah, up top.
Yeah, no, he decided, like he said,
well, I'll meet you at the Safeway on Robson.
Ah, neutral location.
So he went for the neutral location,
the parking lot there, which I guess was,
yeah, he's probably, sounds like a real,
like knowledgeable Craigslist-er. Yeah. Yeah. yeah that's true cuz I went to this person's house I like
bought a wall mounted desk but I had to like go in there how yeah oh yeah that's
weird cuz like you when I stepped to I was like yeah this is totally how a
murder yeah this is way easy not only that but then you start seeing all this other stuff you like in there.
Yeah, yeah, you're like, you know.
How much for the dog?
I'm starving.
Is really that the only difference between Craigslist and Kijiji?
I'm sure there are other differences.
Can you sell food on Craigslist?
Like if you're like, I bought a footlong, but I only wanted six inches.
Meet me at the subway in five minutes.
Smell my house.
Smell my sandwich.
Could you sell, like, I got a bunch of frozen ribs or something?
Oh, yeah.
Did you?
Have you heard Cam McCloud's story?
It was a prank.
Yeah, did someone put a cake?
No, it was a shrimp.
No, I have not heard this. mcleod's story it was a prank yeah that's something about a cake no it was a shrimp someone uh uh past guest cam mcleod tells us told the story i think live at uh shows about how someone pulled a prank on him where they they posted a message on craigslist saying
uh i just caught uh a bunch of shrimp like a wild shrimp that's going to go bad.
I'm not going to freeze it, so I want to give it away.
So just call me.
And they gave his number.
Call me if you want these.
They gave Cam's number.
Yeah.
If you want some free shrimp.
And he had the first few calls, he's like, what?
Shrimp?
No.
I don't have any shrimp to give away. But people
kept calling and he had a couple
dozen messages on his
machine that were like,
could really use some shrimp. Gonna have a
barbecue this weekend.
What a weird premise.
I caught this shrimp. I'm not gonna freeze.
I don't know why I caught it.
I didn't need to get rid of this shrimp. I caught this shrimp. I'm not going to freeze. I don't know why I caught it. I didn't need to get rid of the shrimp.
I inherited some shrimp.
Have you ever bought anything off Craigslist?
No, I've sold.
I think we tried to give a futon away for free.
And they only wanted...
They came into the house.
Craigslist.com. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And they only wanted, they came into the house.
Craigslist.com.
Yeah.
Took some photos.
They only wanted the frame.
Oh, yeah. And not the mattress.
So we had the mattress for like four months after.
And I wasn't like, I didn't want to be like, well, you got to take them both.
Yeah.
Package deal, bro.
So of course what i said was okay
enjoy yeah yeah wow and then one time when i was um like 13 before craigslist existed
i sold a guitar in the buy and sell buy and sell and a guy came over and he uh played um
the the opening riff from zombie by the Cranberries.
And then it was like sold.
And you were just impressed.
You're like, take it.
Take it for free.
I didn't know you were a rock star.
Yeah, smell my house.
Yeah, the buying and selling.
Is that still around?
They've been run under.
That can't exist anymore.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or auto trader.
Auto trader. I definitely bought a car out of auto trader. That's still exist anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Or auto trader.
Auto trader.
I definitely bought a car out of auto trader.
That's still around.
Is it?
Oh, yeah.
That seems crazy.
Yeah.
Well, I think they have like an online version as well.
Is it free?
Yes.
Yeah.
Like to post an ad?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I think you had to buy it, right?
Didn't you have to buy the auto trader? Wasn't it like two bucks or something?
Yeah.
You definitely had to buy the buy and sell. Yeah get it and you have to pay for ads yeah as
well weird what now craigslist is all free and there's still a thing where people i can't believe
there's still a thing yeah well you can't can you sell a car in craigslist yeah oh yeah you can sell
yeah i think the only can't sell a car filled with dogs or prostitutes yeah no yeah I think the only you just can't sell a car full of dogs or prostitutes
yeah
no yeah
I think you can
do prostitutes
know what's the big thing
about don't be a prostitute
anymore
yeah
they got rid of the
prostitutes on Craigslist
is that what
is that what the
difference between
them and Kijiji
oh yeah maybe Kijiji
allows you to be a
prostitute
they encourage you
um
yeah I don't know I'm uh I'm alright with uh a prostitute. They encourage you.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm all right with Craigslist.
I just don't want to smell anybody's house.
I like the way this guy met you at a neutral.
Yeah.
That was smart.
That was smart Craigslist thing. Did you have to describe what you looked like?
Well, we actually didn't do that.
So then when I was waiting for him, I was worried.
Like, oh, I didn't tell him what I looked like.
But we exchanged numbers before. Were're wearing a red dress yeah i'll be holding a
daisy in my teeth if only and if i was getting from albert fudd i would have got the bike oh
is that oh no wait we already discussed that i was like daisy daisy duck is that a daffy duck
no that's from disney damn it um is daisy donald and daisy yeah yeah but like they look like their brother and sister though
they're not a couple and their outfits don't cover their genitals
making it mini they are a couple or their brother and sister couple really yeah yeah yeah yeah
man pluto is it they had a dog and goofy's a different kind of dog. They never had kids, though.
Or is Pluto, like, a stand-in?
Maybe they're...
Because Mickey's not ready.
Maybe they have kids in, like, the...
I was never interested in these characters.
They're, like...
Yeah.
Are they, you know...
Like, was anyone ever entertained by Mickey?
Yeah, like...
Really good video game for Sega Genesis back in the day.
Oh.
Yeah, his... Fantasia Land? Yeah, Enchanted Castle or something. It was great. Oh, yeah. uh yeah like really good video game for seiyuu genesis back in the day oh yeah his fantasia land
enchanted castle or something it was great yeah fight a witch that was good it's basically a
moonwalker but that's true like essentially mickey's not he's not funny like goofy's the
one that was funny right i guess but like what did did Mickey do? Hijinks?
Did he own a house?
Like, what did he do?
He drove a steamship.
Yeah, he started on a steamship.
But that was, yeah.
Whistling.
He was big into whistling.
Oh yeah, that was, in that day, that was the funniest thing that ever happened.
A mouse whistling was the height of government.
Was it Steamboat Willie, was that?
Yeah.
Who's Willie?
Wait, no, Steamboat Willie was the Simpsons. No, that was Steamboat Itchy the go. Was it Steamboat Willie was that? Yeah. Who's Willie? Wait, no.
Steamboat Willie was the Simpsons.
No, that was Steamboat Itchy.
Yeah.
Was it?
Steamboat Willie is what?
Is the real one.
The first Mickey cartoon, which was stolen from Buster Keaton's short film, Steamboat
Bill Jr.
Oh.
And so that's, it's like, it's just a cartoon version of the buster keaton character because
walt disney was like a huge like nazi but walt disney was like hey you know what we don't have
to everybody should be able to just copy everything oh yeah yeah and now uh that's true to this day
it sort of is like he's kept his wish i I mean, every cartoon is just like derivative of something.
If you made something based on Mickey Mouse, you would be sued into the Enchanted Castle.
Yeah, they actually changed the patent law for that.
Yeah.
Because I think it used to be like 50 or 100 years.
Yep.
It became public domain and they were like, we're still selling Mickey hats.
Yeah, and like,
Mickey's still the funniest thing out there.
That's why we all
became comedians, right?
Yeah, yeah.
My biggest influence is probably Mickey Mouse.
I thought it was early stuff.
It's edgy stuff.
Runner-up's goofy, of course. The alternative one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it was a little, you know, I tried too hard.
It was too thinky.
But it's funny because, like, I can only remember one Mickey Mouse cartoon,
and it was one where they're not, they're playing other characters.
They go up a beanstalk.
They're basically jacking the beanstalk.
And I remember Mickey, like, cutting one bean and sharing it amongst the three.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good gag.
But they were cartoon characters playing other characters.
I think that's all Mickey did.
Yeah.
He was P. Diddy before P. Diddy.
Or Pope Dad.
How so?
Yeah.
Because he sampled.
I got lost in that metaphor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because, yeah, that's like the cartoon characters playing other characters when you could just draw a new character.
Seems weird.
No, no, I like Mickey.
Yeah, Mickey.
Put him in a...
You know what?
Because Mickey's easy to draw.
Three circles.
Three circles, absolutely.
The Christmas Carol featuring Mickey.
Oh, yeah, Mickey Cratchit.
Oh, yeah, he's not even the... It's Donald Duck is the Scrooge. Oh yeah. Mickey Cratchit. Oh yeah.
He's not even the,
it's Donald Duck is the Scrooge.
Yep.
Oh man.
I don't understand the appeal of Mickey.
I just realized that now.
I feel like he did four shows and then just coasted on his hat sales.
Yeah.
Well,
he had a club.
Yeah.
A couple of clubs.
But was he on that show?
No,
just Justin Timberlake and...
And Annette Finnegan.
They were in the same season.
They really did.
They knocked it out of the park when they revamped that Mickey Mouse Club.
Yeah.
Well, it makes you wonder why they don't do it now.
Well, maybe they are doing it now.
Yeah, they probably did for...
And they struck out.
Or doing maybe today's hottest stars are from the Mickey Mouse Club.
I would have no way of knowing.
Well, today's hottest stars are from the Mickey Mouse Club.
I mean tomorrow's hottest stars.
Oh, man.
Yeah, anyways, I didn't realize until like right now that like Mickey Mouse, though a cartoon, didn't really do anything super cartoony,
except for Fantasia.
He was just kind of a guy.
Like he's just like the every,
every mouse.
Yeah, he was just,
yeah, he's like the default character.
He's Mario.
Yeah, but Mario's kind of funny, right?
He like kills all those guys.
You hate turtles. Yeah's going on with you?
oh boy
well first and foremost
I've made my first pies of the season
oh delicious
we're going to have pie in the break
we'll let everyone know how it was
it was a strawberry rhubarb
so good
the best one I don't even know strawberry rhubarb. So good.
The best one.
I don't even know what rhubarb is.
Like I don't,
I only know it in the context of what it tastes like around other things.
Oh yeah. Like I even tried to eat some and
You were like,
this is leaving me wanting.
Yeah.
Like I ate some on its own.
I'm like,
this is,
I'm not going to have more.
Why,
why is this,
how does this become great? Oh, it smells like house. It'm like, this is, I'm not going to have more. Why, why is this, how does this become great?
Oh, it smells like house.
It smells like house.
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
Somebody's boiling rhubarb in the air.
What do you, do you boil it?
What do you do with a rhubarb?
Well, I've got a couple of rhubarb projects on the go right now.
Okay.
Because it's got a short season.
You got to make your rhubarb last.
Absolutely.
Well, I got this pie.
Yeah.
Which, it's rh a short season. You've got to make your rhubarb last. Absolutely. Well, I got this pie. Yeah. Which, it's rhubarb.
Yep.
Did you go buy fresh rhubarb?
Of course.
Or do you get a canned?
Can you get a canned rhubarb?
Canned rhubarb?
Like a carbonated rhubarb?
Monsanto rhubarb?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that lasts all year.
Frankenbarb?
Holographic rhubarb?
No, I got fresh rhubarb.
It's not expensive.
It's roughly the price of celery.
Yeah, I bought a single onion today.
It cost 20 cents.
I feel very stupid.
Anyways, go on.
And the other thing I have going is I'm making – I saw a recipe online for rhubarb cordial.
Oh, right.
Yes.
What it is is it was just this beautiful-looking pink drink, and it's basically just vodka that you leave with rhubarb chopped up in it and sugar
for a month. And I was following
the directions and it was like, first you
put the rhubarb in a bottle, then you cover it
with sugar, and then
I don't know that it meant...
Never rub another man's rhubarb.
Absolutely!
That's the number one rule.
And then you fill
the bottle with
the recipe said
good
local vodka.
And I was like, where am I
living that there's local vodka?
Russia?
Poland.
Finland.
But it was very like, you gotta do it in this order.
You have to put the sugar on top of the rhubarb and then the vodka.
But how can the first 20 seconds of this thing matter when you then leave it for a month?
I don't know, man.
I don't know how rhubarb acts.
Maybe it's an unstable vegetable root?
I don't even know.
Flower? Leaf?
So, okay, that's it.
That's it for rhubarb.
Okay. All right. rhubarb. Okay.
All right.
Rhubarb con draws to a close with a big announcement.
I'll update you when the cordial is ready.
You won't be around.
Don't get your hopes up.
I'm just excited about the pie.
There will be pie.
The other thing.
This past weekend, our house was overrun with ants.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
That's another talk of a...
Dave, you're having all of the summertime situations.
They were carrying, you know, watermelons over their head.
Yeah.
Have a watermelon, a drumstick, a whole baguette.
And I've never, like, I don't know...
Daffy Duck asleep.
That's right.
Daffy Duck,. That's right. Daffy Duck too is great.
I don't know, like, I don't think there's anything specifically wrong with ants.
Like, they're not.
Well, you don't want them in your pants.
No, that's true.
They, like, they don't carry diseases.
No.
Well, or do they?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't think they do.
They don't bite humans?
If they do, they've done a wonderful smear, like, clean campaign.
They've smeared themselves clean.
Yeah.
Well, did you listen to the Radiolab episode about ants?
How long ago was it?
I don't know.
Maybe six months ago.
Maybe.
And it was like, an individual ant is very dumb and can't do anything.
But together, like a colony of ants is quite intuitively quite early.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But they're all scent controlled.
And that's all I know about ants.
So they smell your house.. So they smelled your house.
Yeah, they smelled my house.
Oh, Christless.
So what, like, we, my co-worker was like, oh, yeah, we had an ant problem.
You got to find the ant hill and then pour boiling water on it.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It seems like it's just going to make them angry.
Well, I found the anthill
and I poured boiling water
on it and they didn't care.
They're cool with it.
Yeah, like you notice
a lot of them scrubbing their back
with the bag scratchers.
Thanks, buddy.
Yeah, we stink down here.
We smell like your house.
Anyway, so I had to use the chemical option.
Sure.
Which is Raid.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, there's things you can get that are just like something specifically for an anthill.
I just got the household Raid, which I bought it because like just the sound there's the word raid and
ants freak out cartoon cartoon ants yeah yeah no women no actually there might be some sort of
they're all none of them are attractive men or women ants yeah but i think like wow going out
on a limb i mean in cartoon form but it's the uh like uh bees there's a queen yeah right that kind of like
just uh hangs everyone yeah like controls the anthill and uh i forget how you like the bee
controls the anthill yeah the bees control the anthills they fuck the birds that's how babies
are made uh no is there's an a queen ant right and yeah um that you know oh calls the shots in the ant
queen big butt from earthworm jim what earthworm jim the super nintendo game yeah you had sega
genesis and super nintendo yeah when i was flat broke i couldn't picture this
earthworm jim was funny right wasn't that like the first funny video game
yeah it was it was pretty silly because yeah you're just he was in a space suit but then he
would grab himself which is just the worm as a head and then like use it as a as a whip oh yeah
that's pretty good but it's i mean you know it's tough logic not as tough as the whole Mickey
quagmire that we went down earlier yeah yeah okay so all of them all them ants
dead yeah I killed killed bugs dead I killed bugs dead mm-hmm great slogan by
the way yeah covered in poison well oh yeah
off to his cupboard well they were ones that were already like sort of out of the hive. Hive. Hill. And so they, like I, you know, would kill them when I found them.
But like I would squeeze them with a paper towel.
But then sometimes.
Would they squeeze back?
Sometimes there would be like five or ten of them.
And I'd have to scoop them all up and like have the paper towel in my hand and squeeze it really hard.
And then put it in the garbage.
And then look in the garbage a while later.
And there's ants all in the garbage and they're not dead but yeah they're very because they have
um uh what do you call exoskeleton exoskeleton yeah they're also tiny bodies that can both fit
in between my my hand skin um so what uh you have to do apparently and this, I'm pretty sure it worked, because it's been a couple
days, no more ants.
You have to kill the scent trail,
and so, like, I literally saw
where they were all traveling the same
route, like, along the
base
of the cupboards,
and then up the side
of the stove, up onto the countertops,
and that's how they got there.
They all took the exact same route that one guy laid down on his butt trail.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
And so I – it's just vinegar was what the internet suggested.
You're going to get a lot of British ants that like fish and chips.
That's true.
And those are the tough ones.
Especially the carpenters oh yeah
so yeah carpenter answered they're they're opposite of what you would uh think they don't
build houses destroy them right oh i guess so why are they called that because i think they
chew through wood right like carpenters just just like carpenters not Not like, well. Beaver ants, right? What are the other ants?
Shodit lady ants.
Is there a walk-by?
There's fire ants.
Yeah.
There's fire ants.
There's army ants.
Uh-huh.
There's domestic, domesticated ants.
Uh-huh.
Ant farm ants.
Uh-huh.
Ant farmed ants.
Oh.
I don't know. red red red and fire different you think so one's muy caliente yeah yeah and one uh and then there's like this type of ant that
makes these crazy above ground anthills that are like like several feet tall and that's what
anteaters really get into.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And those are the ones with the big crazy queens
with the giant larvae.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, they like big butts.
Earthworm Jims.
Dave, did you play that when you were a kid?
No.
So Ant, Ant Zero, Dave One. Yeah, I mean, for a while, Ant 0, Dave 1
Yeah, I mean for a while
Ants like 2000
Yeah
I would like every
They were everywhere
They just kept coming
I didn't know where they were coming from
So I'd get rid of them
And I'd leave the room and come back
And there'd be way more
Yeah I can watch I'd get rid of them and I'd leave the room and come back and there'd be way more and yeah
I can watch like
and I would see little like
you see a speck of dust somewhere and you're like
oh there's another ant oh no you become paranoid
and then you're like no it's not
it's a speck of dust and then the ant peeks out
from around it tricked you
that's like with bed bugs if you've
ever I've never had them thankfully
but that's like a known psychological condition.
Once you have them, then you're just...
You're feeling phantom itches.
Always in fear.
But that's the thing.
Bedbugs, they feast on humans, right?
But ants don't.
No, they just mock you.
Yeah, they just carry around stuff.
Yeah, like ants...
I was always afraid there would
be some ant hiding behind like an apple core that i left out or some eggshells that i left on the
counter what i'm saying is i leave food yeah if i had a bunch of ants i would treat them like how
you treat a dog when you drop something i'd be like ants come get that clean that up ants i always rub their nose in it in themselves look at all these ants but i like
i have the there's like a little tiny walkway uh my house that has ants that walk back and
forth across it and i could watch that shit for hours answer they're fun to watch yeah i guess
they're a lot like dogs they're sniffing each other's butts I thought you said they're a lot like us
Yeah they are a lot like us
Well they all take the same route to work
Some are carpenters
Some are armies
Some are red
That was Dave's facial expression
I don't know when you said red
You made a really funny face
It's the Disney throwback time Yeah That was Dave's facial expression. I don't know. When you said red, you made a really funny face. I didn't mean it.
It's the Disney throwback time.
Yeah.
Oh, fun.
What other kind of ants are there?
Some of Big Butt?
Yeah, absolutely.
So that's me.
Congratulations.
Rhubarb and ants.
Yeah.
Myself.
Okay.
I took out a good chunk of my life to watch a little movie called Cloud Atlas.
Okay, so this is...
Have you seen it?
No.
Is it three hours?
It's over three hours.
What? I haven't seen it.
Nobody that I know had seen it.
It was a famous book.
Yeah, apparently.
Apparently it's a great book.
I cannot picture how long that book must be
like if this is the condensed we cut things out to make it movie time then that book must be like
beyond phone book size because there's so many fucking things going on in that movie
but i didn't know anybody who had seen it right and so i was working a shift at black dog and everybody who
came in we had so many copies of cloud atlas and people were like is this good and i was like i
don't i don't know and i don't know anybody who's seen it all i know is that they wear a lot of
crazy rubber costumes in it right like there's a lot of fake noses and wigs and oh they're not like
uh like godzilla costumes no yeah yeah And they're not like the clumps.
It's not like everybody's.
It's the same characters.
They're the same actors play different characters over generations or throughout time.
Sort of, yeah.
But it's the same actors appear in different manifestations.
Over and over and over again, yeah.
And some of them pull it off. You know every time that it's Tom Hanks, right?
Because Tom Hanks looks like Tom Hanks.
No matter what you do to Tom Hanks, he looks like Tom Hanks.
Sometimes he's like a bald gangster.
That bald gangster, who is my favorite character in the movie,
is in the movie for exactly, I think, a minute.
But he's in the commercials for half of them.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, he's not, he's not, he's a character.
He's important to the story, but he's not in the movie, really.
Okay.
And that's a lot of makeup.
A lot of people have, you know, he's important.
He's not in it, but, like, people have posters of him.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Like people have posters of him.
Yeah, exactly.
But I had to watch it in three shifts because I couldn't watch it all in a row because it seemed like it was going to end every 40 minutes.
I thought like, here we go, wrapping it up.
And then it wouldn't.
It would just be the end of a chunk and then a whole new chunk would start and it just yeah like over three hours i've never turned off a movie and then gone back to it like
usually like if i turned it off and i'm like i'm finished with it but this one i went back to two
more times to finish it um and like i don't know i don't know that the using the same actor thing was such a like hot.
Was it necessary?
Did they play the same?
Are they playing people from in their past or future lives?
Sort of.
Yeah, that's the whole kind of theme of the movie is like all times connected and all these people.
But there's certain like Hugo Weaving, weaving that guy like he's always wearing some
sort of get up right in in other movies you mean yeah like he's a guy that always plays like he
plays a bad guy in every single time that he uh was he v for vendetta yeah yeah he was a good guy
in there and in lord of the rings too he's a. Weird. But he's got an evil face. Am I right about that? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Am I right?
Agent Smith, yeah.
I know he's Agent Scully.
But there's a couple scenes where there's one main character that's a Korean lady, and she plays a white woman for, like, two seconds in one of the things and you're like
whoa that's not convincing like that doesn't it look you don't remember the movie white chicks
yeah it was like that where you're like that's not only not convincing it's kind of scary because
you're like you don't look normal you don't look uh it doesn't look right and then halle berry
plays a white woman at one point that doesn't look right and then hallie berry plays a white woman at one point that
doesn't look right either and hugh grant plays every single character hugh grant plays you could
tell it's hugh grant even though he's wearing tons of makeup he's fumbling and well he's got
this very like specific yeah he's always just like rather is he always white people?
no
oh yeah he is but there's one thing
where he's in the future
is anyone ever a spaceman?
yeah yeah yeah there was quite a few
a lot of it's space
but like does Halle Berry ever play like a Martian lady?
yeah she plays a lady from the future
that has like
you know
metal chunks on her head.
I'm picturing like a steel rod through her brain.
She's not from the future.
She just was in a horrible accident.
And then all the guys in the future have like kind of Asian eyes.
And I don't understand what that was about but
it didn't make sense it also didn't look good like all of that stuff was more distracting than
like oh i get it and we're all gonna be asian right yeah i think that's what they were but
then in the farther future people are not asian again so i don't know what
happens that's disturbing yeah like everybody was asian and then they're not then they're
oh no good you just ruin it that saves me three hours everyone's too great
yeah no but don't you want to know how they get to tell me very much tell me
the plot like in a minute minute while you finish this beverage.
Okay.
Well, let me just say.
Okay.
I'll give you the plot based on what I know.
Okay.
There's a bald gangster, very important bald gangster.
Very.
He's barely there.
At one point, we go to the future.
Everyone's a bit Asian.
Halle Berry has a rod through her brain.
Yep.
And then after that, no more Asians.
Problem solved.
Is that the plot of the point of the movie?
It's kind of, yeah.
I mean, in short, I don't know.
The thing is, it keeps bouncing around from time to time.
It doesn't just do, okay, here's the first thing, and now it's the next time and the next time.
It's all back and forth through time.
So what's the elevator pitch of this movie?
This is a Hollywood term.
You're pitching someone in an elevator.
Yeah.
Hugh Grant is one of our most
diverse actors. He can play
so many different roles as long as we get the right
prosthetics. You won't be able
to tell it's him in all these different
roles and generations.
But I cannot stress enough, Hugh Grant is very
interested in the project.
That's my elevator pitch.
That's the whole movie?
Well, because there's a scene like you i don't know what the plot of this movie is okay in the what it is is there is no plot
that's the basic thing it's like seinfeld yeah the oldest uh storyline takes place, I think, on a boat during slavery times.
So there's a story about a guy and a slave that become really good friends.
And then the next generation story is about a guy who's writing the Cloud Atlas Orchestra music.
And then the next story takes place in the 70s it's hally berry's gonna blow the lid off
of um like a radioactive plant thing where hugh grant plays an american guy and with the most
unconvincing american accent yeah it's like we are we are going to build
and then there's then there's the present day.
There's an old guy that's been committed to an old folks home.
And Susan Sarandon is in it.
But she doesn't play a lot of diverse characters.
She mostly just plays Susan Sarandon.
Okay.
And then there's a future where it takes place in Neo-Seoul, so New Seoul.
Is it South Korea or just one unified Korea?
One of the Koreas is underwater, and they built a new one on top of it.
And then there's a future future where Halle Berry has metal on her head.
And everyone's Asian?
No, that's the Neo-Seoul is the everyone's Asian.
Well, that makes sense because they're in Korea.
Yeah.
But it's all it's all white people that are made to look Asian instead of just, you know, like, yeah, maybe for the scene.
We'll just go with some Asian actors instead of no.
Can't afford them.
Yeah.
That's true.
It sounds like a Walt Disney picture.
Yeah.
And then in the future future, that's where Hugh Grant plays this savage character.
He's got his face painted up, but he looks like Hugh Grant still, so it's the least scary thing in the world.
And then there's future future where Tom Hanks is the same character from that, but he's really old.
And he's telling the story.
Is he the bald guy?
He's also the bald guy. That's from the present day story. Oh, okay. Sorry. He's really old and he's telling the story he's a bald guy uh he's also the bald guy that's
from the present day okay sorry and he's very old he's telling he's telling the story to his
grandkids and like in the wayway future they're like super interested like when were you on this
boat yeah when were these people asian um so turn turn to the audience do you know like dora the explorer
so so yeah it's man oh man like i can see why people didn't really sink their teeth into it
because it was like it's homework yeah oh man but also like the two scenes where hallie berry
and this korean actress dress up.
Like, the Korean actress is supposed to be like an Irish woman, but she still talks with a Korean accent.
Like, they could have, you know, overdubbed it or something.
Nah, why bother?
Yeah, why bother?
No one's going to see this.
This is way at the end of the movie.
Yeah.
But then at the end, the big thing is during the credits, they show a montage of who played who in the movie.
And it's the least surprising giveaway.
You're like, yeah, I know that woman was Hugo Weaving because that woman was six inches taller than everyone else in that scene.
And it's Hugo Weaving's face.
And eyes. Yeah. than everyone else in that scene and it's you go even face and eyes yeah like have you ever watched a movie and and afterwards been like that was him like
the prosthetics or the makeup was so good that I remember people didn't know
Tom Cruise was in that Tropic Sun what well when it first came out nobody knew
oh you could tell the end of the Button. I just watched that part, though.
Oh, yeah.
This was Brad Pitt?
His baby?
Oh, yeah.
Does he play the baby in it?
No.
Oh.
Because that would have been awesome.
I remember when I was a kid and I saw Hook.
I didn't know that was Dustin Hoffman.
Oh, sure, yeah.
And I was a big Rain Man fan.
All 10-year-olds love Dustin Hoffman.
Yeah, exactly.
The graduate.
You had a graduate lunchbox.
Plastics.
Oh, lordy.
So you want to go on over hurts?
Yeah.
I'm Jesse Thorne.
Every week, Bullseye features in-depth conversations with the creators
of culture the people who make the best music films television books whatever you'll gain new
insight into all-time greats like dolly parton judd apatow and early tomlin and you'll hear from
up and comers you'd never have known about otherwise it's a show about finding the good
stuff in popular culture the stuff that changes lives it's's Bullseye for MaximumFun.org and NPR.
Overheard.
Okay, guys.
Overheard's a segment in which you, the people.
This is a real populist thing.
Graeme, shut up.
Yeah.
I love how populist this is.
Graeme, shut up.
Wah-bah-dee-wah-bah-dee-loo-bah. Graeme, shut up. Yeah. I love how populist this is. Dave, shut up. Wop, bop, loo, bop.
Hello, baby.
Hello.
Baby, that's what I like.
It's time for, for real, there's some Hulk Hogan news.
Now, before we get into Hulk Hogan news, I think everyone would like to know that off
air, we were marveling at the fact that the Big Bopper hit Hello Baby.
The hits Hello Baby and Chantilly Lace were the same song.
And also that the Big Bopper was probably middle-aged and was still a teen idol.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And brought a telephone on to stage.
That's what we gathered.
We weren't alive.
Yeah. He's saying it to brought a telephone on to stage. That's what we gathered. We weren't alive. Yeah.
He's saying it's a telephone.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello, is baby there?
Hello, baby.
Can I speak to your mother?
Yeah, it was originally written about the time that a baby answered the phone.
Is your daddy there?
Hello, baby.
He owes me some money.
They would call me the big bopper for nothing.
It's the Hulk Hogan news.
Yeah, absolutely.
Hulk Hogan tweeted yesterday, yesterday in taping time being June 10th.
Oh, boy.
People are listening to this literally a month away.
Yeah, but this is big news that will resonate through space and time.
Hulk Hogan is planning a return to the ring.
Okay.
He has begun training for his return.
He has tweeted,
Perfect timing to start serious training again.
Last time around the block for me,
so this is going to be a really intense transformation time
so hulk hogan uh guy who has had his spine basically replaced burnt his hand a few weeks
ago still has not recovered from that uh has had knee surgeries heads had all surgeries all over
his body getting back in shape for one more run at the ring. He's training to pretend to fight someone.
One more time off the bottom rope.
That could be a new special move, just showing the guy's hand.
They're like, ugh.
Yeah, yeah.
He just grosses out his foot.
I'm not touching you.
I'm not touching you.
So look forward to that.
I don't know how long it takes to get in shape.
I'm not in shape.
Dave, you're in pretty good shape.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
How long did that take?
Oh, boy.
What are you asking me for?
You're a strappy young man.
Yeah, Christoph, you're in good shape.
You ride a bicycle everywhere.
Well, thanks to Vancouver, yeah.
I've been riding my bike for 45 minutes.
You weren't expecting these GD hills.
No, I wasn't.
But it's been yeah i love that
kind of exercise it's the kind that forces you do you have to do it to get there yeah as opposed
to just pointlessly like get off the bike and walk absolutely or you could just decide to not go
yeah yeah just call hello baby i'm canceling oh um while you were talking nonsense about h Hogan, I quickly looked up the Big Bopper.
Yep.
The Big Bopper.
Oh, and by the way,
here's the photograph of him.
Uh-oh, here we go.
Literally playing a guitar while talking on the phone.
Oh, score.
Oh, man, that's great.
Oh, no, he only died at the age
of 28. Oh, really? He looks 50. Oh, no, he only died at the age of 28. Oh, really?
He looks 50.
Yeah, he does look...
He doesn't look like he was getting ready to return to the ring.
Yeah, the other two died in the plane crash.
He died of a heart attack.
Well, up in the air on the plane crash.
He died of old age.
He only had two singles ever come out, Chantilly Lace and Little Red Riding Hood.
Oh.
Hello, Wolfie.
Yeah.
Oh, your teeth look nice.
Yeah, they look so nice. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- Going to grandma's house. Drum solo. Taps on the phone.
You think in Little Red Riding Hood he brought a prop out on stage?
A bindle?
All of his songs, his whole set.
A basket, of course.
A bindle.
I think he, at the beginning of each song, while he's introducing the song, he's dialing the number.
And people are like, I know what he's going to sing next!
I know that number!
He actually makes a phone call?
Yeah.
Do you know what number you dial?
Oh, 867-5300.
That's right.
Hello, James!
Oh, this has been a fun couple of minutes.
Absolutely.
So we wish Hogan the best.
We wish Big Bopper the best.
We know that he's calling people up
from that big telephone in the sky.
Anytime your phone rings and there's no one there,
it's the Bopper.
It's the Bopper. Yeah.
And if you feel a cold breeze on the
back of your neck while you're on the phone.
That's Richie Valens.
That's Richie Valens telling you,
hey, get off the phone.
It's only one ghost phone distance it's only one ghost phone
it's like there's there's psychics that are commuting on earth and you have to call through
the ghost form to the psychic yeah but you gotta talk to ray parker j Jr. But all the psychics are like I'm getting a long
hello. And then the word
baby. Yeah. Do you have any
Chantilly ways? Do you have a ponytail?
A hanging down?
A wiggle in your walk?
Now
overturned. Overturned.
Overruled.
Legal.
Yeah.
Now we always like to start with the guest and i know you know that are you ready to lead us into the overheard here we go yay all
right uh i was just uh i was in calgary before i was here and uh the uh the saturday of the
weekend i was there was uh the worldwide manto march, March Against Monsanto.
Oh, against.
Yeah.
Where are the people marching for them?
They're corn on the cob walking down the street.
No, they're making – in offices making money.
Yeah, absolutely.
They don't have time to march.
March into their buildings.
They pay people to march.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I decided I'd go.
I'd go check it out.
I got there.
Calgary is impossible to get around on foot.
Yeah.
It's very car-centric.
Very car-centric, yeah.
So I got there a bit late.
Of course.
And there was a few people outside the city hall.
But the march had gone on.
So I was just listening around, hearing what people were saying in the city hall.
And these were the three kind of, I guess, overseen overheards at the Calgary Monsanto March.
I'm sure there was – I think there was a bigger turnout in Germany and other countries.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
But was Calgary like the one in Canada or was –
There was one here.
Yeah.
OK.
Yeah, I think it was – yeah, pretty much worldwide.
But so the one – this is what I kind of expected.
I had one guy just talked to the
other guy and he's like the only thing i've said in order to save the world is this going to need
to be a hell of a lot of assassinations wow so that you know expected uh i mean you gotta uh
make an omelet somehow yeah exactly yeah and then count those eggs and then there was uh
it was actually a great moment,
was these young kids promoting Nesty had like a Nesty cart where they're supposed to give away free stuff.
And they roll right into the March Against Monsanto
and still have included, they actually were like,
does anyone want some Nesty?
And the whole crowd goes, no!
come on, want some Nestea?
And the whole crowd goes,
no!
Ugh, hurts.
Oh, man.
Yeah, we should have taken that summer job at the pool.
Or paid one bit of attention.
Oh, man.
To another target market.
I mean, Nestea's not so bad.
What's in it?
Tea? I don't know.
Yeah, that's true.
It's fine.
A nest. It's the only tea's not so bad. What's in it? Tea? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It's fine. A nest.
It's the only tea filtered through a nest.
Well, it's made by Nestle, so it's got a lot of chocolate in it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Isn't Nestle's got like kind of a bad rep worldwide?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Because they did the whole starving, like pregnant mothers, they would get them off,
wean them off their babies to wean off them, and then give them the formula.
Oh,
right.
But then they,
they,
they never had clean water.
So they always had to mix it with dirty water.
Oh yeah.
That whole fiasco.
Nasty.
Among other things.
And then the final one,
the final quote was a 10 year old kid after kind of having seen all this was,
was one of his parents who was protesting.
It was just said,
this place is boring.
Also, I'd like an SD.
It's hot out here.
I'm tired of drinking kombucha all the time.
That's what that kid's thinking.
I see a lot of the Pepsi challenge going on these days.
Yeah, that's true.
There was one on a commercial drive
for the Italian festival.
Did you take it?
The lineup was way too big.
Isn't that crazy?
For a sip.
But what do you get?
Didn't it used to be like
if you got it right or wrong,
they gave you...
Yeah, like a scratch card.
If you got it wrong,
they would take something
from you at your driver's place.
This is ours now.
It's not that you got it wrong.
You have to...
You taste Coke and Pepsipsi in you know uh
you can't see what they are uh and you just say what you like better yeah but then uh then they
gave you something yeah you'd get like a coupon or nice i wonder if they rig it though like if
you say i like coke better like sure and then pretend to write it down but then just you know
yeah they sell your details to the government.
Put you on a list.
They put it on the Diebold system.
And then it's just any hacker can change the results.
I don't know that I ever did this challenge.
Oh, I did it when I was, I think in grade seven, we had like a day at the the water park and the Pepsi challenge was there.
Nice.
And just bring the Pepsi challenge to where there's kids there.
Where there's kids because you'll be busy all day.
They sometimes set up in the business area downtown and people are walking by.
They only have half an hour for lunch.
I guess I'll do a challenge.
Just one, though.
Sorry, I already did a peanut butter challenge on the other corner.
Oh, it's like I was called a challenge.
It's like, okay.
Yeah, put on this blindfold.
Who's being challenged here?
The system, really.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, we at Pepsi are putting the system on trial.
What else was at Italian Days?
Oh, yeah.
I don't know if it's called Italian.
You're really seeing everything.
Italian Days, Monsanto Days.
Yeah, you got to get on a bike.
Monsanto.
The city salute to Monsanto.
Monsanto's not so bad, though, right?
I don't know.
What do they do?
They make frankenfoods.
Yeah.
They finance frankenweenie.
Oh, that was a mistake.
Yeah.
No, of course they're bad.
Agent Orange, yeah.
Aspartame.
Now, Agent Orange is just like a really delicious orange.
They started making –
The best orange.
Yeah.
What is Agent Orange?
Like a poison?
A defoliant?
Yeah, that's what they sprayed over the brush in Vietnam just to kill everything.
And it gave a lot of birth defects.
So that Charlie couldn't hide in the bush because there was no more bush.
He couldn't surf for one thing.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, Charlie didn't, so it didn't matter.
Yeah.
Now, they make that and then they also make like resilient corn or something like that.
Yeah, like they started it in poisons.
That was their main thing.
Is some of it okay?
Like am I supposed to hate them across the board?
Like don't they make –
I think – oh, you should just read up, you know.
Yeah.
Just tell me what to think.
Well, let me take the Monsanto Challenge.
Because like they do –
That's what I want to do.
The Monsanto Challenge.
Like don't they make –
Try not to eat our food.
Don't they make like wheat that will, you know, grow in different climates where –
Yeah, they splice stuff to make crop-resistant – crop-resistant.
Crop-resistant people.
It's crop-resistant crops.
Like in Canada, we have a shorter season.
So they – we get some help from old man Monsanto.
But what is it that people are protesting?
They're protesting the foods, right?
Yeah, they're protesting the – well, I guess because Monsanto actually recently released a thing where – this is in the US.
But where they can't – if Monsanto food – this is a bill that's been passed like a month ago.
But if some of their food ends up hurting people in whichever way because they don't really know because they're splicing it all from a genetic level.
I could choke on a Twinkie.
I think they're worried more about like allergies and even cancer, some people say.
But what they're concerned – they just passed a law which basically means that no one can ever sue Monsanto if in the future their food hurts people, which like they haven't had proof that it does yet.
That's a weird law to throw in.
It's a weird law to ever put
into place a thing where you're like you can't sue us in the future yeah if we ever do something
in the uh yeah kind of like the version of like i'm if i swing my hands like this and walk towards
you and produce all of the food in the world and it gets in your mouth and you die. It's not my fault.
And they're like a global, multinational company.
I think if you Google most evil corporation, they come up.
I'm not even joking.
Well, they are. They're kind of like a – they are like comic book evil though.
Like in the way that they –
Their CEO is bald.
Yeah, CEO is bald.
Has a bald cat.
They have a laser pointed at the earth at all times.
Yeah, exactly.
They're not afraid to pull the trigger.
But they push like they don't want to even – people want at least food to be labeled to say like if it is GMO or not to have the option.
Sure, yeah.
Why not?
But they have so much money that they're able to lobby that that doesn't count. That is comic book.
And then they have – but they've got – where is it?
In Europe, like most countries in Europe will not – like won't eat any of their food.
Like won't accept it.
It's not allowed on their borders.
But North America is pretty wide open.
But how do they know if it's not labeled?
There you go.
We did it, you guys. USA. Yeah. USA. open but how do they know if it's not labeled i took the monsanto challenge they gave me this crazy uh they gave me this crazy lobster
is it just crops are they also doing like weird animal stuff uh they're doing weird animal stuff
right i'm sure we're all doing a little animal stuff. Everyone's got a little island of Dr. Moreau, don't they?
Yeah.
That's the overall meaning from the island of Dr. Moreau.
There's a little bit of Dr. Moreau in all of us.
Lobster hand.
Yeah, lobster hand, shrimp face, octo legs, et cetera.
Dave, do you have an overheard?
Oof.
I don't know, man.
Oh, really?
Come on.
All right.
All right.
Here we go.
At the liquor store today, buying these very beers that I'm drinking.
What are you drinking?
You're drinking like a summertime, like kind of a...
Yeah, some...
Like a lemon spliced with a...
I bought a variety pack.
Nice.
Yeah.
So this is something.
Spice of life.
There's a Mill Street Organic.
It's a Mill Street something.
Certainly not GMO'd, I'm sure.
Might be.
Monsanto.
Keep the GMOs out of our bedroom, all right?
I was behind this guy in line and he was just buying a little bottle of vodka.
And he didn't have enough money
and the woman
at the till, instead
of saying, oh, you don't have enough,
I'm sorry, this isn't the right amount,
what she said was,
not even close.
And it turns out
she was wrong. She had rung him up twice she had like scanned the thing
twice oh so savage burn but like he had he had actually taken out the perfect amount
like he had it was 11 and something and he'd taken out 21 and like enough to just get a 10
bill back this guy was on top of it yeah and Yeah. She was just waiting for a chance to scorch somebody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's dealt with this all day.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Like, I mean, we've all been behind somebody who's made exact change for a purchase, right?
Where they're sifting through a coin purse or a...
Yeah.
Is that the worst?
I hate it.
I mean, you know's it's mostly old people
right yeah although i feel good when i can do it when like oh i can get rid of some nickels
yeah but i also feel like a garbage can is a good place for nickels
or the person's face who tipped you several nickels fill a sock with nickels and go to town um my uh please my
overhead comes courtesy of uh sitting on the bus with a couple of uh maybe 20 year old gals
yeah and um one of the girls was wearing like this is sidebar uh you know like sometimes you'll see girls wearing like a
hat that looks like it's like a wolf or a bear or something like something a little kid should
be wearing but an adult is wearing yeah what's going on there what's that about oh they're a
furry oh okay they go to raves yeah and uh it's a rave thing they worry about yeah okay so as long
as it's free and training possibly yeah i could they
right they could i mean not necessarily it's drug or sex adjacent i mean maybe it's you know it's
june when we're recording this yeah people have freezing heads you want to be wearing as much fur
on your head as possible um so they were talking very very very loudly. And, um, at one point one of the girls said, uh, oh yeah, I blew up my last phone.
And I thought, ah, these are young kids.
They're using it like the phrase.
Yeah.
You're blowing up.
Yeah.
I blew up.
I blew up my phone.
And then she described in detail how her phone fell out of her pocket at a blasting site
in Campbell River.
I enjoyed that.
Yeah.
Blew my phone. Oh, yeah, I know my phone
was off the hook.
It got attached to a giant
hook and fell off.
Yeah, so like
kids. Kids with their crazy wolf
hats. Yeah, yeah. I mean, if it was the middle of winter, you know, but they're made Kids with their crazy wolf hats. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, if it was the middle of winter, you know.
But they're made to look like a fake wolf.
They're not supposed to look like.
Was this one a fake wolf? Yeah, it looked like she was wearing a stuffed animal.
Was she a Red Riding Hood's grandmother?
Oh, hello.
Yeah.
Now, we also have overheards that have been sent in to us from around the world.
And if you want to be one of those people, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org.
This first one comes from Mississippi.
Old Mississippi.
M-I-double-S-I-double-S-I-double-S-I-double-S.
Yep.
This is from Jay in Mississippi.
Yep.
This is from Jay in Mississippi.
A woman was talking to the butcher while her child, who looked to be around four, ran wild around her.
For the most part, the woman was completely ignoring the child until the child crawled up on his hands and knees and barked like a dog.
Then this happened.
Child, when I get home, I'm going to catch mouses and eat them.
Woman, mice. Child, when I get home, I'm going to catch mouses and eat them. Woman, mice.
Child, what?
Woman, when you get home, you're going to catch mice and eat them.
Child, oh, mice.
Woman, how are you going to catch the mice?
Child, like this.
Then he stomped on her toes.
When she picked her foot up to keep him from stomping on her toes again, he snatched her sandal off of her foot and ran away.
She chased him down the aisle yelling, Jason!
And the butcher just went back to what he was doing like nothing ever happened.
Dogs will be dogs.
Yeah, yeah.
Keep him out of the store.
Also, dogs don't catch mice, do they?
Well, maybe.
Some dogs do. Maybe.
Sometimes they're bred to be ratters.
Terriers.
Yeah.
Some dogs do. Maybe.
Sometimes they're bred to be ratters.
Terriers.
Yeah.
Do you ever worry what would happen if you were a dog and you came to life as a human?
Do you think it would be like that?
Do you think you'd be able to communicate what was happening?
So, wait.
I'm a dog in a human's body?
No, I guess I mean the other way around.
If you're a human and you turn into a dog, how do you get out of that?
Why would you?
It's true.
I envy dogs' life.
I think what I would do is I would –
Definitely.
Like you – I mean dogs have it all.
You automatically go to heaven.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
We don't get that.
You're a man's best friend.
You've got an automatic best friend.
You can – I mean you get to make good on that why do dogs lick their balls joke.
Yeah.
That why do dogs lick their balls joke.
Yeah.
And I think I would like make it so that I would get in touch with that guy, the dog whisperer. Okay, sure.
And I would try to communicate to him.
Oh, it would be so frustrating.
You can't communicate.
That'd be great though if you found all the dogs realize that they just are making fun of him all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Nobody respects.
The dogs are whispering about him.
Yeah, nice rollerblades, buddy.
Yeah, that's all he knows
is that the dogs are whispering.
He doesn't know what it's about.
So, yeah, I think it would be frustrating.
Speaking of frustrating things...
Yeah?
I had a weird dream.
I just remember this. I had a weird dream. I just remember this.
I had a weird dream where my high school changed its name to Hulk Hogan High.
And I was so mad.
Because you don't go there anymore?
Well, because I was like, he didn't do anything to have a school named after him.
And you have?
Particularly not.
My high school wasn't Graham Clark High.
It was Lord Vibrebrook.
Did this take place in the present day?
Yeah, like I went back to visit and they had taken down the portrait of Lord Beaverbrook
and put up a portrait of Hulk Hogan flexing.
But the portrait was too small so you could still see the bolts where the Lord Beaverbrook picture used to hang.
It's a disgrace.
Yeah.
But, I mean, you know, he didn't do anything.
Well, of course he did.
Educationally.
Yeah, he did.
Vitamins.
And prayers.
Yeah, he would allow prayer in school.
So, you guys.
Yeah, that's it for overheards?
That's it for overheards.
Was that the first?
That was the first, yeah.
Oh, boy.
This next one comes from Patrickrick s from pasadena
um i was at the in and out burger a popular fast food chain that originated near here in
southern california yeah we don't we don't need you to spell it out for us the lady in front of
me was excitedly telling the cashier how she was from new york and had been waiting since
1996 to eat at in and out at one point the cashier asked her if she'd like onions on her burger and
the lady replied oh yes to the max right you're excited about something they um i wonder is that
a code well they do have codes there don't they they? We went there once, you and I.
We went to the one at the In-N-Out University.
But we don't know what.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
University?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, where do you think they learn all this stuff?
Oh, okay.
There's a McDonald's like Burgerland University, isn't there?
Yeah, a lot of people matriculate from Hulk Hogan High.
Yeah.
I mean, your credits are transferable.
That's for when smiles were free at McDonald's.
But then they obviously started to cost money.
Smiles are still free at McDonald's.
No, they took them off the menu.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're a quarter now.
You got to pay.
Yeah.
I think they're off the menu.
I think it was like probably a workplace like.
Oh, like harassment.
Yeah, you can't. Smile. Yeah, you think most people are drunk when they're a workplace harassment. Yeah, you can't.
Smile.
Yeah, you think most people are drunk when they're there.
Yeah.
Oh, that's true.
If you smile at them, they're like, who are you smiling at?
Or just, did you say most people are drunk at McDonald's?
Yeah.
I would say on average.
I mean, if you added up all the McDonald's in the world right now, it's mostly drunk people.
Yeah, I'd say so.
I think they beat out families.
Of the 99 billion served, how many are drunk?
Oh, yeah.
90.
Yeah.
90 of those 99 billion.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Hammered.
On their way to or from work.
This last one comes from...
Oh, did you hear they're doing McMcmuffins all day or let me yeah
let me talk about that on the podcast all right it's gonna be a real or a late night thing like
midnight oh yeah before i am up is down left is right come on mcdonald's um this last one comes
from britney g in philadelphia pennsylvania uh this is uh chatting with chatting with her five-year-old niece.
After Michael Jackson died, People magazine had a two-page spread with his face through the years.
I was looking through it, and my five-year-old niece was with me.
After a few minutes of looking at the pictures, she said,
Do you want to know who my favorite lady is?
Pretty cute.
Yeah, I do.
From the mouths of babes.
I do want to know who your favorite lady is.
LaToya Jackson.
Yours?
Monsanto.
Lady Monsanto.
Lady Monsanto.
Sweet Lady Monsanto.
Favorite lady?
Favorite lady?
Yeah.
Charlize Theron?
Oh, okay, cool.
We also would have accepted Lady Di.
Yeah, or Lady Liberty.
Yeah, Lady Gaga also.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lady in Red.
Lady Tron.
Lady Bugs Bunny.
Lady Lady.
Yeah.
In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept phone calls if you're going to call us.
206-339-8328.
Like these people out.
Hey, Dave Graham and plumpable guest.
This is Nate calling from Brooklyn with an overseen from the subway underneath Brooklyn.
Today was the day of the Puerto Rican Day Parade in New York.
And I was riding a subway way after that had finished, and there
was a fellow sitting across from me on the bench in the subway, he had a Whole Foods
polo shirt on and a Whole Foods lunchbox, maybe he was coming home from a shift at Whole
Foods, and he was writing in a notebook, and I accidentally saw what he wrote in the notebook,
and what it said was, in consideration for your consideration,
I will not go to the Puerto Rican Day Parade to stare at the young ladies' breasts.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Well, what are you going to go for?
You know, I don't know what happens at a Puerto Rican Day Festival.
I mean, what was Italian days?
A lot of breasts?
Sure, yeah, there were a lot of food.
A lot of spicy. Sure, yeah. There were a lot of food. A lot of spicy meatballs, no doubt.
And yeah, not as many Italians as I would have thought.
No baked ziti.
Which I love.
I love, yeah.
You've had baked ziti?
I love all the food from the Sopranos.
Anytime I go to New York, yeah.
What is baked ziti?
It's like a lasagna with a lasagna.
Yeah.
I don't know.
What is it? It's usually like large circular pasta
mixed with like a really nice like cream tomato sauce
and then baked cheese over top.
And you can get it with sausage.
I got it in New York
because I only heard of it in The Sopranos.
Yeah, yeah.
And it seems everything they eat on that show
seems so good.
Yeah.
So I...
It's a lot of food being delivered while you're mourning yeah
that's true morning those funerals yeah yeah but uh yeah there's a place called last stop
in uh in astoria last up last stop oh last stop yeah okay and they have a wonderful big zd all
right yeah are you trying to you're angling for a free zd the next time you go? I hope so They're big fans of the podcast
They play it in the restaurant
If you're a restaurant who plays the podcast
Write us and we'll write you back
And tell you to stop
Tell us how much people
What do they order the most
When you put on the podcast?
A chicken parm?
The check?
Here's your next phone call.
Hey, Graham, Dave, and probable guest.
It's Ben calling in from Chicago with an overheard.
I was at the hospital talking to one of my patients,
and from the room over, I heard the following exchange.
Doctor, so, sir, have you been coughing anything up lately?
Patient, yeah, I've been coughing up lots of, what's that stuff?
Sperm?
You mean sputum? Yeah, sputum. I've been coughing up a of what's that stuff sperm you mean
sputum yeah I've been coughing up a lot of that no I meant sperm what's that
stuff I'm I've been hanging out with
no I like it was probably a Rod Stewart like it was probably honest and then the
guy gave him a note like you mean spe spew? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Spew them.
You mean this thing I made up?
Totally.
No, wait, wait.
Yeah, no, Smurf.
No, Smurfs.
I can't wait for that sequel.
It's going to be good.
It's going to be.
Did you see the first one?
I sure did not.
Okay.
You're going to be lost. It's going to be. Did you see the first one? I sure did not. Okay. You're going to be lost.
Speaking of.
Absolutely.
Speaking of cartoons where the female characters are at a premium.
Oh, yeah.
But at least they have like a notable.
Yeah.
Smurf.
Smurf hat.
I mean, her only trait is that she's a woman.
Like everyone else's trait is that they're brainy or grumpy yeah uh yeah what i don't remember i remember papa smurf i remember smurfette i
remember gargamel i don't remember any of the other yeah there's a brainy yeah glasses and
then was there one there's dopey sneezy is the brainy guy he's probably really good at computers
in the new version oh yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
He's got, I don't know, what do smart people do?
I don't know.
Internet Google.
It's true.
That's going to be an exciting film.
It's already out.
It's already topped Iron Man 3 for box office.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Highest box office draw of the year.
It's weird because who wants that?
There's been a lot of movies already that disappeared.
I didn't really see ads for them.
Like what?
I mean The Hangover 3 has already been out for a couple of weeks. Oh, yeah.
But you know who The Hangover 3 was for.
You know who they made that movie for.
Yeah, everyone.
Who did they make the internship for?
Like if you liked –
Wedding Crashers.
You would just watch unfinished business yeah
it's if they just made it a straight up sequel to wedding crashers i think then at least
you've got like well it is right it's the spiritual sequel google crashers yeah yeah
yeah yeah computer crashers and then there's the other one the the movie that's the third in the saga the
richard linkletter one with after sunset or oh my god yeah it's called before midnight i think
let's yeah i mean i say nooner i say that like i'm disgusted by it i haven't seen any of them
i've seen the i've seen the other two but i don't know why. It's not like Star Wars.
It's not like, I've got to see more of this action where they talk about their feelings.
Yeah, it's not like...
They have kids now.
What?
Together?
Yeah.
Oh.
I don't know the movies.
Are they together or are they people who just meet on a train?
The first one, they meet on a train.
Yeah.
And then they've only got the one night together
and they're like,
then the world's supposed to end. And then it doesn't.
So that's the sequel.
It's like Porky's. It's the next day.
Yeah.
What is the second one? I don't remember. Do you know these movies?
I've only seen parts of the first one
but I know that then they meet up again
and Ethan Hawke's mustache continues to... Confound the nation? know these movies? I've only seen parts of the first one, but I know that then they meet up again.
And Ethan Hawke's mustache continues to confound the nation.
She doesn't recognize him at first
because he's got the mustache.
And then the third
one has Ewoks in it.
They're cute, I get it.
They're kids movies. We should move on.
You're right. Thanks for the note, George.
Yeah, no, I don't know why those two, like, the chemistry of those two is like, we gotta get more of that electricity.
But, like, do you think, is this going to be, like, kind of a 7-up thing?
Like, are they going to be in their retirement years together?
Yeah.
They're just going to keep making these movies every few years?
I think, you know, I think this is it.
It was always meant to be like a trilogy.
Oh really?
So this is it.
And they've got,
they've got kids and obviously all the,
you know,
I think the first two,
they talk about love,
like a bunch of,
they're all pontificating about love and what it is and the two people.
Now they're,
they got kids.
It's all,
I think it's more real.
What do you think,
who's going to play Ethan hawke in the prequel
when they make the inevitable because this guy says that it was originally envisioned as a
trilogy yes but he's like now there's stuff on the other side we actually start at chapter four
when they meet the that's like the seventh time yeah we gotta see him see him as a child where he
develops this love of meeting people on trains yeah yeah where does his love of trains yeah his early fountain crushes yeah and then show them like almost meeting in
elementary school and uh so on and so forth isn't she from france yeah well they were nearly pen
pals yeah that's right yeah her her letter shows up in his mailbox. He reads it. Ah, that's that movie. Yeah.
The Lodicos.
I want to do a completely separate one about the train conductor, too.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Oh, sure, in the universe.
Yeah.
In the before-iverse.
Right.
Before-verse.
Are they all before?
Before Moonrise?
Before Sleepsat?
Before Moonrise.
I'm a werewolf, so we've got to wrap this up before moonrise.
Here's this week's final overheard.
Do you guys like moonrises?
Absolutely, I do.
This one is from a very special caller.
Oh, fun.
From Graham's hometown.
Oh.
Calgary.
Hi, Dave and Graham and fabulous guests. Graham's hometown. Oh, Calgary. Hi, Dave and Graham and fabulous guests.
This is Trish from Calgary calling with an overheard
from the ladies' shoe department.
I overheard a mom and her little girl
while they were looking at shoes.
The little girl asked,
what are we doing here?
And her mom replied,
we're looking for a Father's Day gift.
At which point the little girl picked up a pair of purple suede three and a half inch heels
and said to her mom, what about these?
To which her mom replied, no, daddy doesn't wear heels that high.
Yeah, you know that daddy's got bad legs.
He's got a sore back.
Daddy wears flats.
Used to back in the day.
Oh, absolutely.
When we met before sunrise.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what drew me to him.
His crazy purple pumps.
Oh, wow.
Thanks, Mom.
Yeah, thanks, Mom.
Yeah.
So that does, that brings us to the very precipice of the end of the show.
Now, Christoph, you're traveling around.
Yeah. Maybe sometimes on bike, maybe sometimes on a plane.
Maybe sometimes on a train with a certain Julie Delpy.
Yeah.
One can only hope.
Absolutely.
Is that who that is in that?
It is, yeah.
Yep, the Delp.
Has she ever been in anything else?
Yeah, she was in...
American Werewolf in paris huh good crossover
potential and then burger king with the whole merchandise yeah that was actually the brief
prequel because she couldn't talk to him before midnight before moonrise before moonrise it's all
in the same universe um Where can people see you?
Where can people find you?
You can find me, probably the best right now would be just Twitter, at ThisChristoph.
ThisChristoph, and Christoph, spell it so people know.
That's true, yeah.
C-H-R-I-S-T-O-P-H-E.
So just like Christopher without that R.
Yeah, and then drop them a line.
Also, Google them.
Check out this Royal Tannenbaum's look. It was good. Yeah. And then drop them a line. Also Google them. Check out this,
the Royal Tannenbaum's look.
It was good.
The long hair thing.
It'll probably come back.
I go through phases.
It kept you,
did it,
when you were wearing it on stage,
it must've kept you like,
you know,
from sweat kind of dropping in your eyes or kept you bone dry up there.
Twofold.
Yeah.
Kept the sweat off my eyes and the hair out of my face.
Nice.
And then the third one is just the people thinking that I'm a tennis player.
Yeah, absolutely.
Which is always a benefit.
That's how you started.
You were like Bob Hope with the, Bob Hope would come out and do, you'd have a golf club for no reason.
You came out with a tennis racket.
Yeah.
This is what we're fighting for, you'd say.
So yeah, say hi to Christoph on Twitter.
Please do. you'll be traveling
around the country
right
yep
yeah
heading
what this comes out
in July
yeah
the 8th
I want to say
the 8th
well yeah
so if you listen
to this
and you happen
to be in
Halifax
or St. John's
I'll be there
around that time
I think
the weekend
of that
of the 8th
the Halifax
Yuck Yucks Halifax Yuck Yucks Club?
Halifax Yuck Yucks and St. John's Yuck Yucks.
It's in a...
It's in the Western Hotel.
Yeah, it's in a nice hotel.
Right next to the train.
Yeah.
Where Julie Delpy will be waiting for me.
I think I've been to that.
Is it the same place it was a few years ago?
Yeah.
Or did they move it?
Okay, yeah.
Same.
It's a nice hotel, yeah.
Nice hotel.
Yeah, and it's a nice small club.
It is.
It is quite a nice club, and we had pretty much the nicest accommodation that you could find.
Yeah.
And like, did I ever tell you about when I was leaving that hotel once?
Like, because you only stay there during the nights that you're working.
And then I was moving to a hostel.
I was in a really bad mood, hungover.
And I crossed across a guy, like a panhandler guy with a big beard.
And he wanted to talk. And I was like. Talk shop. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, like a panhandler guy with a big beard, and he wanted to talk.
And I was like.
Talk shop.
Yeah.
And he's like, how are things going?
I'm like, I don't know.
Things are all right.
He's like, well.
He looks at me.
He's like, nice luggage.
Checking out of a fancy hotel.
Good looking sunglasses.
Ray-Bans I found on the ground.
He's like, things look pretty good.
From down here.
Yeah, exactly. I'm like, yeah, I guess you're right all right i checked into a
hostel someone stole your sunglasses my luggage man cut your beard um dave anything to plug i mean
always monsanto there everyone go out i want you to try try Three new strains of wheat this week
I want you
I want you guys
I want you to get some durum mixed with
That's a type of wheat
Go out there and have
Shredded
And mini
How small does Monsanto want this wheat
it's not monsanto it's the client oh that's hilarious yeah kellogg's wants it small
customers always right yeah that's why people love them um if you want to get in touch with
the podcast it's uh spy maximumfund.org or 206-339-8328 and stop by maximumfund.org
to check out our brother and sister podcasts,
and also to check out the blog recap
that Dave does each and every week.
Yeah, sure.
I'll be featuring photos and videos
from this movie, this episode.
Yeah, but like the before-averse.
Yeah, it'll all be before sunrise.
Yeah, the before-averse,
the cartoon characters we were talking about earlier.
A picture of George Monsanto, head of the family Monsanto.
The big bopper, of course.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's what I like.
And do you have anything to plug?
I don't.
You're going to be in towns.
Yeah, I'm going to be in Montreal.
Yeah, you'll be at Just for Laughs.
Yeah.
Which I actually forgot.
I'll be there, too.
What?
Yeah. Christoph, let's hang out. Okay. Yeah, you'll be at Just for Laughs. Yeah. Which I actually forgot. I'll be there too. What? Yeah! Christoph, let's hang
out. Okay. Yeah.
So Just for Laughs and then, yeah, I'll be in Edinburgh
but, you know, if you're there, you're
already there, right?
Sure. You're already there.
And
yeah, if you like the show, tell your friends
and come on back next week for another episode of
Stop Podcasting Yourself.