Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 280 - Erica Sigurdson
Episode Date: August 5, 2013Erica Sigurdson returns to talk amateur midwifery, food carts, and a squirrel king....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 280 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a guy who's always whistling Dixie, Mr. Dave Shumka.
That's an expression I don't know the meaning of.
Whistling Dixie?
Yeah.
Is that telling lies?
Oh, I thought whistling Dixie was like, you don't give a shit, you're just thought whistling dixie was like uh like you don't give a shit
you're just around whistling dixie oh okay yeah that's what i thought it meant but maybe it is
maybe it is you're just like like crocodile tears yeah and that's not whistling dixie
or that ain't whistling dixie to use the vernacular of dixie where they're uneducated
um i don't dixie is a place?
Dixie is the old south.
It's a cup. It's a type of cup.
It's a type of chick.
Dixie, Dixie, Dixie.
Dixie.
Dixie, Dixie, Dixie.
Dixie.
So, well, that brings us to the end of the show.
Might as well.
Our guest today on the show, returning guest, one of our all-time favorites, very funny lady, Miss Erica Sigurdsson is our guest.
Thank you for having me, boys.
Thanks for coming back.
Well, I could not come back.
Do you want to weigh in on this Dixie debate?
I think that right now there's some people in the United States of America getting very angry.
Yeah.
Well, what is it?
Is it a is it?
It's not the same as the Mason Dixon line.
It's not the Mason Dixie line.
I always thought Dixie was like a tune.
And so like you're just whistling the tune of Dixie.
The tune of Dixie.
We're going to sing this song in the tune and the key of Dixie.
I just looked up what Whistling Dixie is.
Whistling Dixie is the title of a song
co-written and recorded by American
country music artist Randy Houser in 2009.
I don't think that's
where he came from.
Yeah, I think that's it. According to Wikipedia.
Yeah, well,
they've never steered me wrong before.
According to Dixiepedia.
Julian Assange himself.
Well, no. Dixiepedia. Yeah. Julian Assange himself. Well, no.
Dixie is the south.
That's a place.
Yes.
But it's not.
The Mason-Dixon line is the divider of the north and the south.
Oh.
So maybe that is where Dixie.
Who knows?
I don't know what the whistling of Dixie has to do with anything.
I don't. what the whistling of Dixie has to do with anything. I don't.
You know what?
I don't know my duck dynasties for my gator hunters.
My Dixie hunters.
All right.
Here's getting to know us.
Get to know us.
So, Erica.
Yes, Graham?
What's new?
Tell us what's new in the life of a comedian who's living in Vancouver.
When this comes out, we will have already done Just for Laughs, which we are heading to in a couple weeks.
So right now what I am doing is scrambling to piece together my eight-minute set.
Okay.
And what does that entail?
Are you trying to make it like a set that actually has a beginning, middle, and end?
Or are you just like...
One really long joke?
One immensely long joke with only one punchline, too.
Like, it is pretty much a slam poetry reading just at the end.
But the problem is the punchline has to be so huge, and that's where I'm falling short right now.
Have you tried working backwards?
Find a funny word you really want to say.
And that's how it ends.
No, because I did Halifax and Winnipeg this year.
Woof.
So, yes, I did four TV tapings already, so they want eight minutes that hasn't been on TV.
Oh, so it's not that you've never done eight minutes of comedy before.
that hasn't been on TV.
Oh, so it's not that you've never done eight minutes of comedy before.
Yes, it's that most of my stuff, which is nice to look back and go,
man, I really have not been writing very much.
On one hand, it sounds like, oh, it's all been on TV.
And then it's like, or I just have written no new jokes.
Just do a lot of curtain vents.
They love that for TV tapings. Yeah.
You know we wanted to replay this, right?
I did that once.
We were doing a thing for the Vancouver Comedy Festival,
and I was doing a serious satellite thing,
and I had done a serious satellite thing. And I had done this,
like a serious satellite.
They wanted to pay whatever,
a couple hundred dollars for a set.
Cash.
Uh,
yeah.
But then,
then they, as soon as you walked off stage,
all intense.
And then the next year they had me back,
but they paid a lot less.
And so I,
I literally did like a monologue that I had done at another show that they couldn't chop up into 30-second bits.
And it bombed so hard.
So they couldn't use any of it.
Was it a dramatic monologue?
Like you read it on audition?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you know you get residuals from Sirius Satellite Radio.
I do not.
This is what I am learning.
I do not get residuals. Yeah. Satellite Radio. I do not. This is what I am learning. I do not get residuals.
Yeah.
Well, because the first time I did.
But if you sign up, because in Canada we don't pay.
You know what?
I don't know.
A lot of times I just answer things with complete confidence.
I like it.
May or may not be wrong.
Yeah.
But a lot, I've learned this from Toronto Comics.
You register with Sound Exchange, which is a royalty paying company in the States.
And like apparently comics
every three months, now
they're probably all lying, but
they're making some pretty
okay scratch on
their Sirius Satellite radio tapings.
Really? I'm going to look it up for you after
this. Okay, thank you. I appreciate that.
A good headline for this story would be
serious about
funny business huh pretty good yeah pretty good pretty great um so you're putting together this
set yes what else are you doing for the summer you're a big summertime person you like i like
the beach and you like the outdoors and that stuff you like the summer i like i love the summer okay
um so i've been hiking a few times. I've been stand-up paddleboarding.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let's put on the brakes.
Do you have eight minutes of stand-up paddleboarding you can do for us?
What?
I like to pretend that I know what stand-up paddleboarding is.
I mean, it's all there in the description, right?
But how do or why?
It looks like a giant surfboard and it's basically for bodies
of water where there's not a lot of waves and so you have a paddle like a pool or a lake but not a
wave pool or english bay okay um do you own one of these things no no all right they're huge like
there would be nowhere to put it in my apartment but but it's like 20 bucks for an hour. So you rent it and you go out onto the ocean and
you stand up on it and then you take your paddle and you paddle around at a slow speed. And it's
not very exhilarating, but it's good for your core. And that's all you have to tell a woman
is that something is good for her core and she will do it. What is a core? It's, for your core, and that's all you have to tell a woman is that something is good for her core, and she will do it.
What is a core?
It's like from here to here.
Yeah, from ya to da.
But inside.
Yeah, but what is, because I hear it a lot.
I know that it's a buzz term.
Work on your core.
You have to have a strong core.
Yeah.
I assume that it's somewhere in
the middle of my body yeah but i don't is it your stomach is it your spine kind of the area the area
in between the two parts on a woman that you would want to touch oh we're getting naked with her
hands and earlobes right it's a shoulder thing yeah yeah um Yeah. Why are women so concerned about their core and yet none of the men I know seem concerned about it?
I think men are.
I'm not.
Are you?
Oh, of course.
I'm a big core guy.
What do you do for your core, Dave?
Oh, what do I personally do for my core?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What does one do for their core?
No, what do you personally do for your core? Okay, well, do for my core? No, what do you personally do for your core?
You remember it's personal. Yeah, I write it
love letters. I try to keep
the flames burning. Yeah, absolutely. The home fires.
The core fires.
I do kettlebells.
I do a yoga.
Let's see. I do twists.
You plank.
It's the best
meme. Yeah, you plank. Plank? You plank? Oh, I plank? It's the best meme. Yeah, you plank.
So why is standing on a paddle and paddling?
Is it?
A strong core is like to prevent you from going to the bathroom.
So it makes you better at holding it?
I think you're thinking of Kegels.
Is that not related?
Well, I'm sure a strong core helps you from wetting your pants, I guess.
Okay, I want that.
Yeah.
That's a good, that's an effective way to sell something.
Yes.
So, like, it's your abs, right?
That's the core?
Yeah, basically.
I don't have any core.
I feel like it's even under your abs.
It's like under your abs. It's like you're under abs.
It's like if you have a strong core, imagine someone who's going to punch you in the stomach and you could just take it.
I don't want to.
That's why I want a strong core.
I want to be like Harry Houdini.
Because you know how many times in a day I am out and someone threatens to punch me in the stomach.
Hey, you motherfucker.
I'm going to knock out your belly button.
Do you get a lot of, yeah.
Excuse me, miss.
You're not pregnant, are you?
Whammo.
Why not?
Clonk.
Well, yeah.
Do you want to win bar bets or something like that?
Do you want to be unheimlichable?
Yeah, if somebody has a really strong core.
Their core is too strong.
I can't Heimlich them.
Yeah, like would your core fight back against the Heimlich?
Hurt the guy's hands.
That could be a woman giving the Heimlich.
It's 2013.
Yeah, you've come a long way, baby.
So you do things like the people in Vancouver are supposed to do, like hiking and paddleboarding.
Things I've never done.
You should try it.
Come on.
It's really fun.
You've hiked.
Hiking is just walking on dirt.
Yeah, but why would I do that when there's so many great streets?
In an upwardly fashion, usually.
You don't have to hike uphill.
No, you don't.
Yeah, you could be- It's 2013. You could be choppered into the top of the mountain and walk down.
Yeah, you can fall.
You can just tumble.
That's a hike.
Yeah, because you camp, right?
Yes.
You can set up a tent.
You can light a fire.
You can do all these things.
I can do all those things.
Although, usually, we don't take a tent you can light a fire you can do all these things i can do all those things although usually we don't take a tent we have like these um outdoor hammocks that you hang in the trees
yes and they're really comfy but the first time we were in them i like all night i was like what
was that because jay's hammock was like so you're you're sleeping in the trees. Yes, you're sleeping in the trees. How high up?
Not too, you've got to be able to jump up into the hammock.
Oh, okay.
So you're.
I was expecting like 30 feet up.
Oh, no, no.
Real Ewok style.
Yeah.
Okay.
So the first time.
So, but every, every sound I would hear in the forest, I would be convinced because to
me, I was hanging like a giant taco in between the trees.
Like I'm a burrito, like waiting for a bear to come and just like, oh, she's already wrapped up for me.
This is perfect.
A bear running with his mouth open.
And you were putting like avocado on your face.
Do you, so does all your stuff sleep with you in the hammock?
No.
Do you build a tent for it?
No, it's just underneath.
So you hang food in the trees, right?
And then you're hanging in the trees.
Not the same tree, though.
I get a bear paw to the face.
And then the bear eats too much and falls asleep in the hammock with you.
Yeah.
It's super cute.
That is super cute, right?
But how do you stay, like, does this hammock go, is it like 360 degree hammock?
Yes, it's like a pod.
And so the bottom half of the pod is really, really strong Velcro.
So to get in it, you open it and then you kind of push it under your bum and then you jump up.
And it's quite funny to try to wiggle yourself into all your blankets and stuff and you seal the Velcro.
And then you just lay there.
And there's a little pocket.
So I have a little flashlight and my book.
Are your hands in there so you can't move?
Your whole.
And you have to get someone to unzip you in the morning?
No.
Yeah, how do you get out in the morning?
You undo the Velcro.
Okay.
You have hand movement.
No one ties you up?
No one does.
Who blindfolds you?
Yeah.
Well, in that case, it's gone horribly wrong, and I am now a prisoner.
It sounds like sleeping that way would be a great way to increase your core strength.
It is.
What are the best ways to sleep?
What are the best sleep exercises for my core?
Well, you sleep
suspended by your ankles, right?
And every time that you put the alarm
on the roof, and so you gotta do
a sit-up every time. Do I wear a straight jacket?
Yeah, absolutely. Hit it with your face.
That's who DeeDee used to wriggle out of
his straight jacket every morning.
And then people first came in his stomach.
Yeah, absolutely. Let's see how that worked out.
His core was the greatest.
The greatest core of all time.
So these, what is the advantage of these hammock pods?
I guess no tent.
They're radical?
I guess they're radical.
They're radical.
They're smaller to pack.
And also if you're camping, like, because when we go camping, we don't camp in campsites.
We're hiking into the woods.
And so a lot of times the ground is really rocky and uneven and setting up a tent would not be good.
So you string up between the trees so that you can.
And how do you tie, like, what is this, how do you strap them onto the trees?
It's a series of knots, which any good Albertan knows all his knots.
Why?
They don't have any ships in Alberta.
Yeah, yeah.
Jay knows all the crazy kinds of knots.
What's the craziest knot?
I don't know.
It's like this awesome knot that just suddenly is gone.
Oh, the Kaiser Sersai.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you light a fire?
Yeah.
Are you worried that, like, if you're in your hammock and the fire's on,
you might get rotisserie cooked?
I hope I do.
It heats up my core.
Do you set a fire underneath so you can smoke really slowly
and fall off the bone in the morning.
It's very relaxing.
It's like, oh, that's really just falling right off the bone.
Now, your longtime, what would you say, husband?
Man crush?
Man crush, man crush.
Man crush.
I've started to just say husband because it's too ridiculous otherwise.
Now, it's ridiculous, what, to call a guy your boyfriend?
After 14 years, yes.
Yeah.
How come guys, like, I feel like, I don't know, I could be, like, calling a girl my girlfriend forever.
Well, because when my—
Is it because guys are dumb?
When my 13-year-old niece has a boyfriend and I have a boyfriend,
like, I have a boyfriend too.
I'm like, oh.
Yeah, and they both are giving you stickers.
My boyfriend taught me to not.
Okay, so he's like a very survivalist guy.
He's an outdoor guy as well.
Yes, he is.
Were you an outdoor guy before?
No, I was an outdoor girl.
Oh, sorry.
My apologies.
2013.
2013, absolutely.
Not to the extent that he is.
Did you grow up camping and stuff?
Yes.
In BC?
In BC.
Mostly it was just my parents arguing outside.
You know what?
It's such a nice day out.
Let's argue outside.
Yeah.
You said you don't go to campsites.
Would these hammock things look crazy at campsites?
If like 30 feet away there's people just, you know.
Hanging in the trees.
Yeah.
You know what? Like caterpill trees. Yeah. You know.
Like caterpillars.
I think that we'd be the hero of the campsites, personally.
It's hard to be a hero of a campsite.
It is.
Because people aren't there to rally around something.
No.
They're there to be away from.
Except campsites are all so close together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it's mostly groups of friends who now have kids.
And this is a way that they can go hang out and drink together for a weekend.
Like, truly.
Argue under the stars.
Yeah.
I never, as a kid, I never, like, was with, like, my family didn't, like, go camping with, like, another family.
That seems like it would have been fun.
That's all I'm saying.
Do you want to get the families together?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, like the mafia.
Exactly.
Yeah, ever since I moved to Vancouver, I haven't done any of the things, like any of the hiking, anything in the water.
I don't even think I've been in the water.
Well, there's that mythical thing of you can ski in the morning and then go windsurfing in the afternoon. You can ski right into the water. I don't even think I've been in the water. Well, there's that mythical thing of you can ski in the morning
and then go windsurfing
in the afternoon.
You can ski right
into the ocean.
You can just wear
the same skis,
attach yourself to a boat,
go water skiing.
And then, yeah,
you can eat sushi
in the morning,
sushi for dinner.
What's the most
Vancouver thing
you've done?
Hmm.
Hmm.
Paid too much for rent.
Gave the stink eye to somebody once.
Yeah, exactly.
Gave directions and gas down even though I didn't know where the person was going.
Yeah, well, what's the most Vancouver?
You're born and raised here.
You as well, Erica.
No, I'm born in Ontario, raised here.
Yeah.
In Dave's house.
In my basement.
What's the most Vancouver thing you've done?
I mean.
You've done it all.
Yeah, I've done a lot of things once.
Did the grouse grind once.
Okay.
How many times have you done the grouse grind?
Four times.
How is it for your core?
It's really good for your core. Really? Because that doesn't even involve. Okay. How many times have you done the gross ride? Four times. How is it for your core? It's really good for your core.
Really?
Because that doesn't even involve.
It's nature's stairmaster.
I thought the core was the upper levels.
Is it all of it?
You have to take the upper levels to get there.
Local.
Local.
Yeah.
Local.
Local street humor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You take the upper levels.
Unless you take Lionsgate.
I think either way. Google map it. It'll be hilarious. Unless you take Lionsgate. I think either way.
Google Map it.
It'll be hilarious.
Oh, yeah.
There's not enough.
Like, is there a Google Map comedian that's emerged?
Like somebody who just makes really funny jokes, but you have to put in coordinates to get the punchline?
I can't think of one.
Trademark that right now. That's a great idea. The punchline? Like, I can't think of one.
Trademark that right now.
That's a great idea.
Except that your material would run out or you would change as Google Maps change.
Right.
Yeah, but that's how you keep it fresh. Like, when I, my car used to be parked at a different house in Google Maps, and now it's parked at this house.
That's even, that's a bit right there.
That's really good.
I always wonder
how many people
got busted
for like having
an affair or something
because the morning
that,
there has to be a case
where somebody
looked up
their own house
and there was like
a girlfriend
or an ex-girlfriend.
Somebody changing
in the window.
Well, because they blur out the
faces and they blur out the
license plate number. But you would know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You would know. Because
they're driving, you know,
your ex-girlfriend's hot rod
is in the parking lot.
Your ex-girlfriend is Rob Zombie.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, you're the one person who dated somebody
who has an El Camino.
Or the IROC. What ever you're the one person who dated somebody who has an El Camino. Yeah.
Or an IROC.
What ever happened to the IROC?
Is that a Camaro?
An IROC?
Yeah, it's like a super muscle car.
What is Whistling Dixie?
It's something you can do in an IROC, no doubt about it.
I don't know.
I don't think the I-rock was gonna be a like
it wasn't gonna be a model they were gonna update like a muscle car for the modern era
they've done that they brought back like the the dodge challenger charger whatever i don't know
it's most but it's mostly like core based it used to be yeah yeah you know yeah it used to be other
muscles yeah it used to be your your glamour. Now it's all core. Yeah, like would you say that core muscles, they're like the least glamorous of all muscles.
Yeah, the Dodge Bikram.
They help you with your balance, too.
Oh, good.
I need that.
Like, you mean your balance, like in a Zen sense?
No, like your work-life balance.
Your work-life balance.
All your balances.
Yeah.
Your checkbook. Checkbooks.
Thank God.
I feel like that was a tie that went to David.
Check, check, check.
Now, I can't remember if we do, we talk about since the last time you were here that you
helped like deliver your friend's baby.
Did we talk about that?
What?
I think.
Why didn't we start with this? Well, I didn didn't i couldn't remember if that's something that we
already talked about uh well if dave does not know this you don't you don't remember this i want to
erase everything we've talked about no way come on we had some really good jokes in there really good
dixie dixie do the words ha Haida Gwaii mean anything to you?
They mean Queen Charlotte Island.
Okay.
To your people.
Yeah.
In my language, we call those the Queen Charlotte Island.
That's right.
Haida Gwaii.
Because you're a white man.
Yes.
For the listener, are a series of islands off the coast.
Each more exciting than the last.
Off of British Columbia.
That is correct.
That is where my friend went to have her baby.
On purpose?
Yes.
Did you go with her on purpose to deliver it?
Well, I was supposed to drive up or fly up in August to drive her back down to Vancouver, and she was going to have the baby here.
But she refused.
She refused.
She changed her mind, and she was going to stay up there.
But she was all by herself.
You're a doula, right?
Yeah.
Well, now.
Dueling doulas.
It was forced upon me.
Oh, yeah.
So, yeah, I flew up to be there with her for the birth of the baby.
And she was having a home birth.
It was in a manger, right?
It was in a manger.
Because there was no room in the inn yeah
there's no inns up there just motels there's gotta be a bed and breakfast yeah there are
yeah was that what mary and joseph were looking for was just a nice b&b somewhere cozy
something fun for a weekend if i own an inn and you're about to give birth, guess what? There's no room. Yeah, but
you can go hang out in my barn?
I don't know, man. Yeah.
I don't think the innkeeper
okayed the barn thing.
Do you think, like, that was just a... And then they have guests
after 11? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Um...
Nobody's staying
here under that name. No outside
mer, please.
We have an all-night mer bar.
You've got a no frankincense room.
This whole floor is no frankincense.
No smoking.
Frankincense.
Pretty great.
Yeah.
Pretty great.
So, uh. Seems like maybe the oldest joke ever yeah um so you went uh like i've never been to these haida gai islands i have no they're
they're very isolated and like how did you have to fly into a yeah flew – you fly into San Spit, which Air Canada flies into.
And then you have to take a ferry over to Charlotte City.
That's F-E-R-R-Y, not F-A-I-R-Y.
That's right.
A ferry – yeah, Americans call it a ferry boat.
Yeah.
We just call it a ferry.
Yeah, because, like, is there something else that you can catch?
Like a tooth fairy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
To bring you over.
Yeah.
A magical ferry could transport you is what I'm saying.
Yes.
Most definitely.
None of the fairies I know could transport a whole person.
But they don't take air miles, so I had to take a BC fairy.
So this is a plane, then a boat, and then a drive on the other side?
And then a drive, yeah.
Jesus.
Yeah.
But it's beautiful.
It's absolutely stunning. And so, yeah.
Anyways, so my friend was having a home birth and the midwife was like 45 minutes away.
And she said, make sure.
Yeah, by boat.
She had to get there.
She had a camel.
The wise midwife.
Yes.
So flash forward to my friend who's never had a baby and I've never been at a birth.
And my friend is going into labor, but she's telling me she's fine.
She's like, don't call anybody yet because they're sleeping.
What time was it?
This was 4 in the afternoon.
Don't call anyone.
Everyone here is real sleepy. Yeah. It was 4 o'clock in the morning. Okay. Yeah. Don't call anyone. Everyone here is real sleepy.
Yeah.
It was 4 o'clock in the morning.
Okay.
Yeah.
So she, I can hear her, and I asked her what was wrong, and she was like, just go back to sleep.
You're going to need your rest.
And I was like, I'm going to need my rest.
Oh, what am I doing?
She's already mothering.
Yeah.
You're skin and bones.
Yeah.
Lie down. mothering yeah yeah you're skin and bones yeah lie down um so we had this great um birthing plan we had done a like a playlist and i thought
we had this great birthing plan we started
that is the most important thing. The music.
Well, what is on Circle of Life?
Mother and Child Reunion.
Yeah, Papa Don't Preach.
Yeah.
Bohemian Rhapsody.
If Mama Just Killed a Man.
And then Mamma Mia, which we got it. Oh, yeah.
Here we go again.
What was on it for realsies?
I don't know.
I can't even remember now.
The whole thing.
And I had built a website that we were going to live blog the birth,
and I was going to update everybody.
You were going to need your red.
Yeah.
Command central over here.
Yeah.
We're just going to do a mic check, mic check.
Could you just scream into your
microphone?
Well, that was the crazy thing.
She was like, okay, make sure I put my contacts in
because I want to make sure I can. And then
she went into labor so fast
that it went from like,
oh, I think that my contacts,
I dropped my contacts.
Oh, yeah. Her contacts were falling out and the baby was coming.
Landed in the baby's eyes.
The baby's born with supervision.
Which is different from supervision, which is what you should be under when you're giving birth.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
So you, okay, next step.
Okay, so next step, I phone the midwife because she's having such quick contractions.
And this is like 4.01.
I phone the midwife at 5.15.
Okay.
And so the midwife started driving and then my friend was like, the baby's coming.
And I was like, nope.
Uh-uh.
Nope, you're not doing that.
So I phoned the midwife back, and she's like, tell her to lie on her side and breathe.
And then my friend is, like, just losing it.
God.
Come on.
Pull your shit together, lady.
So. Well, you were playing Lose Yourself by Eminem shit together, lady.
Well, you were playing Lose Yourself by Eminem.
Oh, no.
I was playing Angry Birds on my phone.
I was busy.
And then the baby started to crown, I guess is the word.
Yeah.
And I looked.
Oh, you looked.
Well, I couldn't.
Of course.
What am I going to do?
Was she going to go sit on the porch?
Well, I don't know.
Maybe turn the lights off and put on some heat vision goggles.
Oh, that would be way worse.
No, it wouldn't.
You use a lot of imagination.
What I did was actually the worst because it was, I don't know why, I didn't turn the lights on.
And my friend was screaming at me at this point.
Like, I tried to touch her and she's like, don't touch me.
You'll wake the animals.
We're in a manger.
Yeah, that's right.
So I can see the baby, but the water hadn't broken.
So it didn't look like a baby's head.
It looked like some, I was like, oh, something's wrong. A fish?
A jellyfish?
Yeah.
Like, it was like, oh, what the hell is that?
Is that what it looked like?
Was it like a weird?
It was.
It did not look like a baby's head.
Because it's like this sack of water around it.
So it looks like this crazy, like.
Wow.
Yeah.
Like, I was like, what?
And I was like, oh, how am I going to break this to her?
At what point do I.
There's goodness and badness.
Yeah.
What would the midwife do?
Yeah.
And so it was really dark.
And so now my friend was not lying down.
She was kneeling, which is how a lot of women give birth.
And so...
Take a knee.
I grabbed my iPhone with my flashlight app.
Yeah.
And then got down in between her legs and was looking up
trying to...
Like a mechanic!
Like a mechanic!
And it was...
This is going to be expensive.
You have a leak.
Turns out
there's a baby.
Yeah, so then the midwife got there at 6 a.m and the baby came fully out at 604 oh wow so yeah it got very close to so you didn't have to touch the baby no i i don't want to tell you what
i had to touch there was there was a lot of stuff happening yeah we know
we know we've we've both graham and i have both had babies yeah yeah that's on my course uh so
out of whack yeah yeah baby kicking it yeah softening it up um but you basically were like
like delivered this kit well well. The midwife rushed it
and caught it for the glory.
Kind of like when the US
joined World War II.
Defense wins the game.
The offense gets the glory.
You were the big
defender. You did it.
Yeah, I did it.
I'm now taking calls for anybody
who wants help.
Would you do it again? Yeah, I left it. So I'm now taking calls for anybody who wants help. Yeah.
Would you do it again?
Yeah. I left there like I'm going to be a doula.
Like it was so it was crazy because, you know, when women say like I was put on earth to be a mother and I'm always like, oh, come on.
I was put on earth to take you off of this earth.
Yeah.
It's always just been like I've just always been like, okay, calm down.
But when you actually, like what the woman's body does, it's crazy.
It is pretty crazy.
Like there's like us and then the next thing there's us and a baby there.
And I was like, whoa, how did that happen?
But then the midwife was like, so we this bowl that we had had to buy for the
placenta and then how are you holding up there it's a bowl that you uh set on fire right yeah
it's like what like a tupperware something that you like so you can well we bought a very beautiful
oh right sure right okay so i hope it ends in burying it. No, we actually... I'm not going to say.
Well, you might as well.
Yeah, you ate it.
You ate it?
No, God, no.
Okay, well, that's it.
You're not going to say that's what we're thinking.
You didn't.
No, no, no.
It went in a Ziploc bag and went in the fridge to be handled later.
But then there was like...
By the chef?
Yeah, the chef doesn't get here until eight.
Okay.
Let's send his hero. yeah the chef doesn't get here until eight okay um you're supposed to like especially i've been a hide a guai like you're supposed to bury it or plant a tree but my friend didn't want to so when the midwife came back for the checkup she
asked her to take it to the hospital but we're not supposed to tell that to any of the hide
a guai people so oh i see but it wasn't like somebody showed up the next morning like hey She asked her to take it to the hospital, but we're not supposed to tell that to any of the Heidegg Y people.
Oh, I see.
But it wasn't like somebody showed up the next morning like, hey, guys, I made everybody stinging eggs.
Or a placenta omelet.
He didn't know.
It was just, I found that steak that was frozen in the fridge.
What you're not supposed to do is whip it at a fan. I watched a video on YouTube that they make like pills.
Like it's like a supplement that people.
Oh, from placenta?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I watched like the recipe and it was pretty tough watching guys, but I did it.
It was like the midwife was like, she's like, you want to see this?
And I was like, no, I do not.
I have seen a lot already.
But you've never seen somebody turn it into a puppet.
Puppetry with placenta.
But we did, so after the baby was about two hours old and there was a couple other friends there.
We were bored of it.
We were bored, obviously.
But no, we then cleaned out the bowl and then I made pancakes for everyone in the placenta bowl.
So that was pretty fun.
It's fine.
It's fine, yeah.
Yeah.
You washed it with soap, right?
Just did a quick rinse.
Just a quick rinse.
I washed it with another placenta, a nearby placenta.
It's like fighting fire with fire.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I just think that's like the most amazing thing because you hear those stories about like, you know, somebody in an elevator where the power's gone out or a taxi cab driver.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, somebody in an elevator where the power's gone out or a taxi cab driver.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or like, yeah, like it's very, you're in a very small kind of pocket of people, I think, that have like participated in that.
Yeah, yeah. Because usually it's in, you know, it's probably the midwife or doctor or whatever does most of the, there's no flashlight business.
No. Yeah. They usually no flashlight business. No.
Yeah.
They usually handle it all.
Yeah.
But, yeah, you're like, that's a pretty good, that's a pretty good.
Yeah.
What job do they usually give to the other people there?
Yeah.
You know, hold the hand, breathe.
Yeah.
Remind them of.
Get some ice chips.
Yeah.
If every sitcom I've ever seen in the world.
Lamaze.
Do remind them of their Lamaze do remember remind them of their
lamaze do remind them a little maz and then uh if you're the man pass out and then yeah you wake up
with a baby yeah and then she's like ah what about me yeah and also she's uh she gets mad at the
husband or whatever i think that's pretty standard i think like, that's the thing that once the baby was born, too, I realized how new dads feel.
Because we were so tired.
And this baby was crying.
And my friend was trying to.
And, like, because we had been up from 3 o'clock the night before.
And you're not going to sleep.
You've got this new baby.
Handing out cigars.
You're trying to hold a baby and smoke your cigar from your new baby.
You can do it.
Absolutely.
Use the baby's head to prop up the cigar.
But like I was so tired.
And there was nothing I could do.
The baby had to be with the mother.
But I felt really guilty.
And I was like, oh, this must be how new dads feel.
Like you're just the idiot.
Yeah. Like you can't do anything. But if feel. Like, you're just the idiot. Yeah.
Like, you can't do anything.
But if you go sleep, you're a jerk.
You're less helpful than the placenta.
Exactly.
You can't go to sleep?
Really?
Well, wouldn't you feel bad?
Like, your wife just had a baby.
I feel bad about this whole thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to go catch some Zs.
Yeah.
Well, this has been great.
Yeah, yeah.
Tell me more about the stand-up paddle boarding.
Oh, wow.
Well, I think you're kind of a hero for doing that.
Going all the way there to help a friend and then actually, like, you know, I would have come up with an excuse.
Yeah.
I got a lot of work to do.
I don't know if I could get all the way up there.
I would have come.
I was supposed to leave the day the baby was born because I had a lot of work to do. I don't know if I could get all the way up there. I was supposed to leave the day the baby was born because I had a bunch of gigs.
And I canceled all my work because my friend was five days overdue.
And I was like, I can't leave.
You're like, what are the odds it's going to be another 20 days overdue?
Got to do these gigs, come back.
Let's hope that the baby's still in there.
Yeah.
Well, what's going on with you, Dave?
How many births?
Well, none.
But.
Well, no.
I mean, look, the weird thing is we haven't recorded.
Graham, you were away for about a week.
That's right.
So we haven't recorded in a couple of weeks.
And I've done so much.
But like compared to delivering a baby.
Well, it's true.
But it's not a competition.
I know.
Well, it's not even close.
It's not Canada's Next Top Baby.
Oh, yeah.
Good crop this year.
Yeah.
Canada's wildest deliveries.
Here's what's up with me.
Last week was my friend's birthday.
He turned zero.
He was just born.
And you were there.
No, and for his birthday, another friend suggested that we all go to the food cart festival.
Oh, fancy.
Have you been to one of these?
No.
cart festival.
Oh, fancy.
Have you been to one of these?
No.
Now, Vancouver is, in the last couple of years, gone from having one food cart that was an ice cream truck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
An air and hot dog stand.
Yeah.
Mr. Tube Steak.
Yeah.
To, like, I don't know, a hundred of these things.
And...
I don't think I've eaten out of any of them.
Well, it's because you can't.
Yeah, that's true.
Have you?
No.
Well, besides Japadog once, but that's not even.
Yeah, that one doesn't move.
Like, I'm thinking about a truck.
Like, you've got to pull up in your car.
You've got to race it, right?
And they've got to throw it through the passenger window.
Well, to become a registered food truck, you do have to pass a stunt driving quiz.
Quiz? Well, yeah, it become a registered food truck, you do have to pass a stunt driving quiz. Quiz?
Yeah, it's a quiz.
People test you on, like, famous car chases.
Yeah.
Ronin.
Yeah.
The French connection.
Yeah.
Bullet.
These are movies.
So we went to this food cart festival, and it's not a fun thing.
It's supposed to be a fun thing.
There were maybe 20 of these trucks there, and they all had 30 to 40 minute lineups.
First of all, you pay $2 to get into this thing.
Into nowhere, like into a parking lot.
Yeah.
In the inner circle of food trucks.
And then there's a DJ.
And he's great.
Yeah.
It's Skrillex.
And they, yeah, basically, it's not a, like it was a great idea until we got there and we realized, oh, I came here with my friends.
Now I have to ditch them as we all go wait in different lines for half an hour at a time.
It sounds very much like a glorified, glamorized food court.
Oh, yes, it is.
Yeah.
But with lineups? Yeah. Oh, the lineups. And anywhereorized food court. Oh, yes, it is. Yeah. But with lineups?
Yeah.
Oh, the lineups.
And anywhere to sit?
No.
Oh.
There was like a table.
Yeah.
But the DJ was using it.
But there were thousands of people there.
But what did you choose?
What was your...
Well, Abby and I got there before anyone else, apparently, because we did like a lap and
didn't see anyone we knew.
And we texted people and no one got back to us.
So we got in the...
You were there at 8 a.m.
We got in the shortest line, which was for grilled cheese.
Taser, grilled cheese cart.
What?
Grill it with a taser.
No, they don't, do they?
That would be great.
No, they use, I believe, a barbecue.
Why is it called taser?
I don't know. They're like, oh, that's in the
news two years ago.
Oh, yeah. When the cops killed that guy.
Like, well, that's the only thing
taser's famous for.
It's not like
there's not like multiple things
a taser's famous for. It's famous
for cops abusing
its power. Oh, yeah.
And that one scene from The Hangover.
Yeah, that's true.
What does it have to do
with grilled cheese? Nothing.
Maybe the owner's name is Taser.
He was an American gladiator.
So we wait
in the shortest line possible.
Half an hour.
For a grilled cheese sandwich, which you could have bought all the ingredients and made it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In less time.
But it would have that pendant taser flavor.
And then we saw some of our friends arrived and they went to different places.
And so we got the brilliant idea, which I don't mean that sarcastically.
It was a good idea.
We bought extra sandwiches.
And then, like, we ate some of the sandwiches we bought.
And then we went and delivered them to our friends who were waiting in other lines.
And then our friends, in turn, bought us stuff.
So, and I think that's probably what everyone was doing.
And that's why the lines were so long because everyone was ordering eight of something.
Yeah.
What would you say was the least popular of the food trucks?
Well, there were some that didn't specialize in anything that were kind of like.
Called food?
Yeah.
It was like cafeteria.
Cafeteria.
Yeah, it was like cafeteria.
But like the most popular was the taco one.
And the macaroni and cheese one was really popular as well.
And I see that downtown every day, the macaroni and cheese one. Yeah, the macaroni and cheese one.
There's never a lineup.
No.
And I never go there because the people who work there look quite unhealthy.
Yeah, it's because they're standing around macaroni and cheese all day.
You're good at nibble.
I feel like, was it you and I?
We had to go, this was like years ago because we were working for City Television.
We had to go to like, it was like called Taste of the City or something like that.
Oh, yeah.
That was craziness. Oh, that was crazy. Oh, yeah. That was craziness.
Oh, that was crazy.
It's super hot.
They pick the hottest day of the year.
And then they have a similar thing.
It's booths and food trucks and beer.
And people just get hammered.
That would have been a great way to color the day, but that wasn't available.
But I just feel like that was my takeaway from it was that there were people just kind
of like, like, just like disgusting and drunk.
But it was supposed to be a family thing.
Yeah.
Do you recall that?
Yeah.
Because there was the beer garden was very small, too.
So when you got in the beer garden, it was very squishy.
There's always kids on the outside of the beer garden just looking in at their parents.
Yeah, like when you put a dog outside of a coffee shop.
That was the worst.
And then we had to do that play by, remember the chef?
We were supposed to ask him questions, but Graham did most of it because I am terrible at that kind of thing.
I'm terrified of chefs.
I'm terrified of chefs.
I'm just not good at that kind of standing there and like, so tell me what you're doing now.
I just have this look on my face that says, ugh, I had to be here.
Someone made me come.
Why would anyone watch this?
And that's why people want to punch me in the stomach.
So you got to work on that car.
Yeah, even if you're not doing interviews, that's the thought going through your head.
Oh, why do I have to be here?
It was very, like, because he was doing stuff, but I didn't have to ask him.
Like, I could see what he was doing, you know?
Like, what are you doing?
A chop and a cucumber.
I got to answer that for myself.
Yeah, I know.
Like, wait, you got to cook that, right?
All right.
You don't cook a cucumber.
No, this guy was doing new stuff.
Fusion.
Salad fusion.
I will say the best stand there, actually, it didn't have a lineup at all because it
was just a popsicle stand.
They made homemade popsicles that were all great. I forget the name stand there. Actually, it didn't have a lineup at all because it was just a popsicle stand. Oh, wow.
They made homemade popsicles
that were all great.
I forget the name of it,
but, you know, check it out.
Yeah, no, that's perfect.
It's like the ice cream people.
I guess there can be
ice cream women,
though I've never seen that.
That's a sad day.
I have.
You've seen, what, really?
Like in the trucks?
Driving a truck?
Yes.
Oh, wow.
I never have.
I've only seen ice cream men.
Have you seen an ice cream woman?
No.
Wow.
Cool.
Yeah.
I live in a pretty progressive neighborhood.
Yeah, that's true.
But do they have popsicles or do they just have like a –
Rocket pops.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They don't have like a popsicle brand popsicle.
I think they might have just a regular popsicle brand popsicle.
It depends.
One that you can split into, share with a friend. Some, I was doing actually research for a story I wrote about the, like the songs that they play.
Oh, yeah.
Teddy Bear's Picnic.
Teddy Bear's Picnic.
Isn't there a Super Tramp song in there?
Yeah.
Breakfast in America.
Yeah.
The Entertainer and Little Brown Jug.
What's Little Brown Jug?
I don't know.
Hey there, Little Brown Jug.
You're an all-star.
I'm just kidding.
But the boxes that they use to play the music, they cost $200, which is what you can get an iPod for.
And an iPod, you can put three thousand songs on there they come with eight songs yeah uh and they're all
meant to sound like a music box from 150 years ago yeah the most delicious time period in human
existence yeah iced snack yeah exactly when you could only get an iced snack in cold climates.
They have two knobs on them.
Yeah.
Annoying and chirpier.
Yeah.
Wasn't there a thing, was it here or was it in?
I think it was Kelowna or Kamloops.
Right.
You know what I'm talking about, right?
Yeah, that they were not allowed to play the music anymore.
Yeah.
Because people complained.
Right, you know what I'm talking about, right?
Yeah, that they were not allowed to play the music anymore.
Yeah, like... Because people complained.
They were allowed to play it if the truck was stationary.
They could play it at a certain decibel level.
But if they were driving, they weren't allowed to play it.
Oh, yeah, I went to the website of the company that makes these boxes,
and they have a thing saying,
oh, the new version has a volume knob to comply with noise regulation.
But isn't it even kind of creepier to have a man with ice cream softly,
just all sneaky into the neighborhood?
Imagine your childhood as a kid being like, oh, I see the ice cream man.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
It's all like I hear it and I run out of my house.
And when I hear it, I notice that no matter what I'm doing, I stop paying attention to whatever I'm doing and only start thinking about how awesome.
Yeah, or just how great it would be to have ice cream or like when was the last time I had ice cream and, you know, all the related thoughts.
But do the food trucks drive through neighborhoods?
Because I feel that's something I would support.
No, they're stationary.
Like if I was at home and a taco truck suddenly was like screaming.
No, because they're cooking.
Not the same guy.
I've got a lot of splashes back here.
Not the same guy, but.
No, no, Dave, that's ridiculous.
You can't drive and cook.
But you can certainly go over speed bumps.
I don't live at a seniors complex.
I live at the West End.
Just a guy in a station wagon with a hot plate.
Just cranking smoke on the water.
Oh, man.
Graham, what's up with you?
Well, I didn't go to any food trucks.
I didn't deliver a baby.
But I did go east.
Yeah, to the orient.
Yeah.
To bring pasta back to the Italians.
Exactly.
To find a silks.
Yeah, I went to Alberta and I went to Regina and I was in Alberta just a couple days after massive floods had hit the city and just crazy.
It was weird because I didn't see a lot of photos on the news that kind of like did justice to how much water there was.
Yeah.
Like –
The one thing I saw was like it came up to row 10 of the saddle dome.
Yeah. So when they were kind of bringing the water out of the Saddledome, they found Harvey the Hound's head floating.
Harvey the Hound is a mascot.
It's not an actual dog.
But, yeah, they found his, like, disembodied head, and that was, like, it was so scary.
The city came together.
It was really something.
It was really disturbing.
He's a mascot costume.
Not like a college has an actual dog
or valley
from Saved by the Bell. They would not let the guy playing
Harvey the Hound leave the stadium.
You're like the captain of a
ship. Yeah, you go down
with Harvey the Hound.
That used to be a slogan.
Driving through neighborhoods playing the ice cream music.
But, you know, it was amazing to be there and see that all the community was very, like, instantaneous and, like, people helping each other.
And the mayor was really amazing.
and like people helping each other and the mayor was really amazing. Like especially like when Canadian mayors may be not the best track record as a nation right now.
Really solid work.
And so I did a bunch of a series of like beard paintings over that week and sold them all
and gave the money to the Alberta Flood Relief.
That was my pitch.
I didn't get my hands dirty by my brothers, my dad.
You got your beard dirty.
Absolutely.
Filthy.
But everybody, that's what everybody was doing because nobody could work.
So everybody was just like helping, you know, like just clear out people's houses and stuff.
Deliver babies.
Deliver babies.
I imagine there's probably, There had to have been some
flood baby.
What do you name that baby?
Moses?
I mean, that's a pretty...
I mean, Noah. Oh, Noah. That's who I'm thinking.
Well, Moses was put in the river, right?
Yeah, but the river wasn't flooding.
Well, it was high at some parts.
Higher than normal.
So, I did that.
And the show that I had booked was like not going to happen and then happening.
Then it wasn't going to happen.
Then it was happening.
And then just kind of the last minute it was a go.
So that was fun.
And then it was weird.
It was really weird.
The world's ending, right?
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure.
Yeah.
Like there was the hottest day
ever the other day, yesterday?
Ever recorded on Earth? Really?
In Death Valley, the hottest temperature ever?
Whew. Since we've been recording.
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
We weren't around during dinosaur times. And people
turned off the recorder for
a while to record days of our lives.
Yeah, they recorded
over some of the records.
There were some,
they were saying that in Phoenix yesterday
that some flights
were grounded because of the
temperature. I've never heard of that before.
No, and I also saw
photos from
I think it was
Kuwait, and it was
like traffic lights
that had just melted.
Like the little
kind of thing that's over the light.
The hood.
We're all just melted on top of the light.
So that's not.
That's not great.
But we're still doing the pipeline.
That is still a go.
Drill baby drill. Yeah, absolutely. You're still – Drill, baby, drill.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's funny because like I went and saw – in that same time period, I went and saw Man of Steel, which is all very like, oh, we drilled too much.
Now Krypton is going to blow up.
And then I watched World War Z, which was like, oh, we do – we travel too much.
It was like, you know, we go – we're too too living in too close of communities
so yeah
it's all happening man
also saw
This is the End
that's weird
anyways so I did that and then I went to
Regina
and played two shows there
at the Artesian
run by Jaden Pfeiffer, past guest.
Yeah.
And there's a place close to the hotel I was staying in.
I've never been to Regina.
Have you?
We were there last June together.
Yeah.
And we did not discover this gem together, unfortunately.
But I'm telling all people this is an all APB.
I was kind of just walking around looking for something to do.
And I walked past this place that just had like a banner in front of it that said Wonderland
Arcade.
And it looked very sketchy.
So I was like.
Describe the building.
Brick building with all the windows had blinds on it and then a banner that said Wonderland Arcade.
Describe the banner one more time.
Just a blue and white banner.
Blue on white or white on blue?
Blue on white.
OK.
Like a royal or a navy?
Like a royal.
OK.
And I felt like this is probably a place that people buy and sell drugs yeah or
humans right something and placenta yeah and i walked in and it was amazing like it was all old
arcade games uh and i went and like i was like oh i'll play a game. So I put a dollar in this one game. And the guy came over and was like, it's $4.
And I was like, $4 for a game?
Like, no, fuck it away.
And he's like, no, no, it's like $4 for an hour and you can play any of the games.
And I was like, what?
I was so happy.
This is a wonder that I've seen.
So I just, yeah, I gave him $4 and just played every game in there.
They're all set to play. Was there kids in there while you were? Yeah, it gave him $4 and just played every game in there. They're all set to...
Was there kids in there while you were...
Yeah, it was crazy.
Do you have to put coins into the game?
Nope.
How do you know who has the next game?
You do.
Until you decide that you're done with it.
You're the grown-up.
Yeah, exactly.
So I had next game for all games.
And it was great, man.
It was all the...
Like all time periods?
All time periods from your
Dance Dance
Revolution styles to
all the way back to Pac-Man and Tetris
and Pinball. They had Pinball.
What about the table ones? Table hockey?
No, you know the table
you'd sit at your opponent
would be on the other side. The one where you put the knife and fork down, like speed table setting.
Yep, they had that.
They had skee-ball.
They had the basketball.
My favorite.
Yep.
They had every style of game.
Wow.
They had air hockey.
They had pool tables.
They had driving games, shooting games.
It was the greatest.
It was the greatest, greatest, greatest.
And apparently it's like there all the time.
It was like where kids go, you know, like you have a birthday at that place.
That's right down the street from the hotel we stayed in, right?
Yeah, it's right by the casino.
And then the liquor store.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's like, but you wouldn't go in because there's nothing to indicate that it's not a drug den.
It still might be.
Yeah, but no, it's like really nice.
Are there any drug games?
Yeah, absolutely.
Usually games would say don't do drugs at the beginning.
These ones said do drugs.
Yeah, winners do drugs.
Yeah.
So there was that, and that was amazing.
So there was that, and that was amazing.
And then there was another thing that was also amazing was before I went to Regina,
there was like a news story about, have you ever heard of a rat king?
Yeah.
You know what a rat king is? It's when a bunch of rats get their tails in a knot.
Yeah, and then they move as like one creature.
This is a real thing? Well,
they found one that was
squirrels in Regina. A squirrel king.
Squirrel king. And so that was a news
story that was just like, I didn't seek
it out. It just was on Yahoo! News.
So
I was talking about it on stage.
I was like, hey, that's really scary that you had that
in your town. In Regina. It was in Regina.
There was five of them all tied together.
But not tied together.
Like, not with an exterior rope.
I don't, well, I don't know.
I mean, their tails were tied together.
Yeah.
But I don't know how they got tied together.
Sure.
But somebody found them and they brought them to a veterinarian and they.
And the veterinarian was like, gross.
Yeah.
But the veterinarian knew the knots
knew the
he's an eagle scout
yeah
they
they put the
squirrels
to sleep
not to sleep
like dead
like
no
and that's one of them
and made them
look what I found
it was like whack-a-mole
they took them to the arcade
yeah yeah
then they made a crazy
keychain out of it
but they yeah they It was like whack-a-mole. They took them to the arcade. Yeah, yeah. Then they made a crazy keychain out of it.
But they, yeah, they put all the squirrels under and untied them.
And so I talked about it on stage.
And then after the show, somebody was like, those squirrels were released into my parents' backyard.
Were released into?
Yeah, yeah.
So those squirrels now, I guess they had never been apart. wow i want to see their reality yeah i feel like they were like just two of them that took to it like
fish to water and then a couple others breaking amish yeah like a couple of them stayed in the
in the um like the carrier and uh i think there was one that was kind of like in and out you know like going back and like reporting back to the other two like it's great and
yeah so then the next night like the parents of that guy came to the next
show and just we talked about it for like 40 minutes like a cage no after the
show I just was like it's amazing because it's one of those things that
people always thought was an urban legend, the Rat King.
They didn't, like they said, oh, yeah, that exists or it could exist.
But I don't think there's been tons of evidence of it.
So, yeah, it was like.
Because it's gross.
It's literally making me feel like I'm going to throw up.
But now they're fine.
Now they're just five squirrels.
I wasn't about the fact that they weren't fine.
It's the fact that you didn't know it existed and now you do.
And it seems gross.
Oh, it is gross.
How did their tails get all tangled up
in the first place?
What were they up to?
This was God punishing them.
For what?
Touching butts.
Well, somebody had to say it, guys.
Squirrels going butt to butt.
Keep your hands above the waist, squirrels.
God wants it that way.
Yeah, these squirrels are nuts for butt to butt.
So, yeah, that's all that's going on.
On that note.
Yeah, let's move on to our herds.
Throwing shade is the art of deserved public disrespect,
and no one does it better than Brian and I on our podcast, Throwing Shade.
Every week, we take off our pants and tell the people who are the enemies of ladies and gays where they can shove it.
They can shove it up their butts.
That was implied.
Check out Throwing Shade on the Maximum Fun Network.
I hate giving you compliments, but that was actually really good.
I know.
I practiced like real hard.
Now you're bragging.
Overheard.
Overheard's a segment in which...
Now, Graham, do you need me to interrupt you for anything?
Well, I guess we can all...
Okay, well, then let me interrupt for a little bit.
Oh, sure.
Go ahead. The great thing about
interrupting is that it
ruins what you had in mind.
Dave, if you could just
hush it up for one second.
Just a quick Hulk Hogan note.
Okay, it's a Hulk Hogan
note. It's a Hulk Hogan note.
Congratulations to Brooke Hogan
on her engagement to her
boyfriend. Is he a wrestler?
No, I believe he's a football player.
Okay.
Or a monster truck driver.
Oh, yeah.
Something in the general milieu.
That's a weird job, monster truck driver, where you're less famous than the vehicle you drive.
Yeah, that's true.
Unless it's the rare case where that one time Undertaker drove Undertaker.
Yeah, sure.
Or Bigfoot drove Bigfoot.
Those really are the two.
Those are the only two monster trucks I know.
Oh, no.
Was there one that was Dracula?
Gravedigger.
There was one called Gravedigger.
Who won this last?
I went to the monster trucks.
Did you?
In January, yes.
This year? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's the very. I went to the Monster Trucks. I think you're thinking Undertaker. Did you? In January, yes. This year?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's a very not Vancouver thing to do.
No kidding.
But I did it.
Did you confuse Gravedigger and Undertaker or is there also an Undertaker?
There is an Undertaker and it's based on the wrestler, the Undertaker.
It wears a giant hat.
Sure.
It's got a manager who's very pale.
Yeah, but he's just a little sidecar.
So you went to Monster Trucks?
Yep.
That's news to me.
They were at BC Place.
They didn't hold them at the food cart festival?
No, they tried.
What are they...
Because this is the thing.
Because they can only...
Monster Trucks can only be in the giant stadium.
Yeah, oh, absolutely.
They're monstrous. They had it at the V the giant stadium. Yeah, oh, absolutely. They're monstrous.
They had it at the Vogue last year.
Opening for Umoja.
Sigur Rós.
It's lots of dirt that they have to put down, right?
Because don't these monster trucks...
Oh, yeah, they turn into a giant mud pit.
Yeah, but how do they do that?
Like, I can see how they convert something, an ice rink into a basketball court.
They get pig pen in there.
They give them a bath.
They cover it with wood, and then they cover the wood with dirt.
And then they just hose it down.
No, there was no mud.
They cover the vomit with sawdust.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But there's no, was there, it was just monster trucks.
It wasn't monster truck and demolition derby?
Yeah, no.
Well, they had where they drive in a circle, and they, truck and demolition derby? Yeah, no. Well, they had where they drive in a circle and they, is that demolition derby?
When they smash?
Did they hit each other?
Yeah, yeah.
When they smash each other.
And the last car standing?
There was a, I don't know, there was some sort of point system.
Was there a truck of saurus?
There's a huge bunch of trucks of saurus.
And then cars.
Truck of saurus was a robot that used to eat cars.
Sorry.
He wasn't a robot.
He was a truck dinosaur.
Like that TV show, Duck Dinosaur?
Read a book.
The coolest part was they had the.
Watch a TV show.
They had the motocross.
They did a demonstration and like on the bikes, and that was pretty cool to watch.
The rest of it, I was like, I do not understand why I'm here.
Did it smell so exhausty?
Did you have to wear earplugs?
I did buy earplugs, and there were some people, dads, who brought their kids who did not pay the two bucks for earplugs.
And these poor little kids were covering their ears.
It was so loud, and I just kept looking at this dad.
I started tweeting.
I was like, if your husband is at the monster truck rally right now,
tell him to buy some earplugs.
He's rolling up the program and sticking it in his kid's ear to amplify it more.
You're going deaf before too.
Tell your husband.
Call your husband.
I can't hear you.
I only bought one set of earplugs
and I'm wearing them
oh it must be the worst place to take a call
could you
excuse me Gravedigger
the phrase that pays
phone call for Gravedigger
phone call for Gravedigger
the phrase that pays why were you there Phone call for Gravedigger. Phone call for Gravedigger. The phrase is great.
Why were you there?
Was it a Groupon or what happened?
No, Toby Hargrave's wife, Sarah, who she's the monster truck.
Yeah, she's a monster truck fan.
Really?
I would never have pictured it.
She's a truckie?
She's a truckie.
She really wanted to go.
And so she asked me and another friend of hers, now a friend of mine, mutual friend now.
Three gals?
Three gals.
We went and we were like the only people there without kids.
Like there were some dudes there without kids.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
But there were no other women there.
Like we just, and so we kind of got all dressed up, like kind of making fun of, like once we got there. That's of got all dressed up
kind of making fun of them.
That's what most people do.
I know, but I think they actually
dress that way.
I wonder if it's everybody there is doing it ironically.
There is a lot of people doing it ironically.
Okay, phew.
What did you dress up? What was your costume?
Crazy wig?
No, I didn't.
Smoking a cigarette while eight months pregnant.
Yeah.
Just 80s.
Trashy.
Did you tease your hair?
Yes, of course.
Yeah.
All right.
Did you tease the people who really like Monster Trucks?
Yeah.
And what do they do?
I guess Monster Trucks just come in and they just roll over cars.
Yeah.
And that's the whole.
They dig graves.
Do they spin around or do they do anything?
Oh, I think so.
They parallel park.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They do a three-point turn.
I think that would be a great crossover if there was a monster truck food truck.
I thought you were going to say a monster truck driving school.
Like where you go to do your driving test.
There's a guy serving up a grilled cheese
and then he gets squished.
And he's dead.
Wait a minute.
No, the monster,
it goes to shows
and it, like,
throws, you know,
whatever,
artisanal papooses
out into the crowd.
With the gun?
Yeah.
Macaroni and cheese?
Yeah.
Everywhere?
You're going to be
choked with the quinoa gun.
Yeah.
I'm gluten free!
Oh, and it actually
cooks monsters.
It's the monster truck
food truck.
Monster truck, monster food truck. For monsters that eat monsters. Yeah, and it actually cooks monsters. It's the monster truck food truck. Monster truck, monster food truck.
For monsters that eat monsters.
Yeah, and monster energy drink.
So, like, there's chunks of, you know, Loch Ness Monster and Swamp Thing in your brisket.
That's as good as any idea.
Now, overheards um and congratulations to brooke hogan yeah on her uh upcoming nuptials and hulkster doesn't seem thrilled rest in peace doink the
clown really yeah just oh yeah just recently yeah yeah just uh, as far as I know. Is that right? Yeah. Rip Doink. Wow.
Now, I've really brought it down.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Dead wrestler.
That's right.
Doink, you know, was like, it was a gimmick that a lot of wrestlers used.
There wasn't just one Doink. That's true.
But I think it was the first Doink who died.
The original Doink.
Doink my heart.
Well, a fitting tribute.
Now, Overheards is a segment that we do each and every week.
And we always keep still laughing at this hilarious joke.
We like to start with the guest.
Yes.
And I assume that you came prepared.
Locked and loaded.
Locked and loaded. I the guest. Yes. And I assume that you came prepared, locked and loaded. Locked and loaded.
I have two.
Okay.
Do you want to do them back to back or do you want to like stagger?
Let's stagger.
Okay.
So you go and then I'll go or Dave will go, I'll go and then you go.
Okay.
All right.
So I was at my sister's house and my sister has recently adopted a five-year-old little boy.
Oh, congratulations.
Yes.
So I am an aunt again.
That delivery was much easier.
That's the sequel, aunt again.
So, and my sister has two adopted girls already.
And one of the girls has now grown and has two girls of her own.
So there's a lot of girls in this household.
My sister's not married. Does that make you a great aunt?
Yes.
Really?
I know.
I can't believe it.
Me neither.
Wow.
So my nephew was in the bathtub.
It was bedtime.
And it was still in his first kind of few weeks at my sister's house, at his new home.
So he was very much into explaining things to my sister.
So I hear him, I'm in the living room and I hear him say, I'm a boy.
And my sister says, yeah, I know.
And then I hear him go, and boys have penises and girls have vaginas.
And my sister's like, yep, I know.
And I can hear him getting kind of frustrated.
Like, he's like, well, I have a penis.
And then my sister goes, yep, I know.
And then he goes, well, I bet you don't know what hand it's in.
You're a genius.
Take a hand.
That sounds like something that a kid could have said or like a drunk guy saying it to a cop.
Oh, wow.
Bet you don't know what hand it's in.
Tough guy.
Did you ever watch the show Cops?
I feel like I knew it, but I never watched it.
Yeah, I definitely did.
I mean, when it was first on the air, I think.
Because that's all drunk guys getting arrested.
Yeah, drunk guys and also not drunk guys, just poor people.
It was almost exclusively poor people.
It was never.
Not a lot of the wealthy people signed the release.
I always wondered about that. poor people like it was never not a lot of the wealthy people signed the release that's i always
wondered about that because well i don't i think that's more like reflective of the prison system
in general right that they well but yeah why do people sign the releases ever oh why oh yeah that
i don't get because there has to be some sort of financial benefit or maybe you don't.
Like maybe they're like, hey, sign this release and we'll drop that whole battery charge.
But you've got to get your girlfriend to sign the release.
Do whatever you need to.
I don't know why I just said that.
I don't know why I just said that.
But like recently, past guest Ryan Beal used to watch like marathon viewings of To Catch a Predator, right?
And that's what I did the other day. I like watched one on YouTube and then I just couldn't stop watching them.
They are very like once you get into the mode of it, like the guy showing up and're like what's this guy gonna say like what's his story wait that's the same guy
from before and uh i don't know how why any of those guys signed the releases but it's there's
no blurred out faces ever so they're all i get like i don't know yeah why yeah no because it
it must be like they or maybe the laws are
different in the states i have no idea maybe it's something like they have enough like it's on
private property that these people entered yeah that's true oh yeah that's true although like
this like one episode they had cameras on the street for when the cars pulled up.
So, like, they had cameras, like, blocks away from the house.
Yeah, that is weird.
Right?
It's the whole thing is very weird because also the police that take the people down are never dressed like police.
They're always wearing shirts that just say police on them, which is, like, the least official police.
You can buy them at any souvenir stand in Vegas.
Exactly. Criminal Minds?
What?
It's just...
It's all
branded.
But, and they also...
I've got my...
Which one's Criminal Minds? Is that Mandy Patinkin?
Yeah. They fly around in a jet.
Thomas Gibson?
From... Darman Gregg? Darman Gregg. Which one's Criminal Minds? Is that Mandy Patinkin? Yes. They fly around in a jet. Thomas Gibson? Well, from...
Dharma and Greg?
Dharma and Greg.
They also don't use handcuffs ever.
They use zap straps.
Oh, zip strips.
Yeah.
Zap strips?
I don't know which ones it is.
Zip ties.
Zip ties, yeah.
Yeah, zap straps.
You know what?
We got to the bottom of it.
Absolutely.
Thomas Gibson, the guy who played Greg in Dime and Greg and plays Mind in Criminal Mind.
Lieutenant Jeffrey Mind.
He was born on the same day and year as Tom Cruise.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
Weird.
Think about it.
I do.
Like, they're pretty comparable. Yeah, they're pretty, they look quite similar. Yeah. Wow. Weird. Think about it. I do. Like, they're pretty comparable.
Yeah, they're pretty, they look quite similar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So do you think, like, Tom Cruise was the experiment, like, they just made a bunch of them, and they're like, oh, we released two.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We only meant to release one Tom Cruise, and he was, like, the second or third tier Cruise.
Or maybe Tom Cruise was the second or third tier Tom Cruise and he made it further with the giant head.
Dave, do you have an overheard?
I had one.
And then when you were asking her if there was a Groupon.
Her, he means Erica.
Yeah.
When you're asking this one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When you're asking this one.
Yeah.
If there was a Groupon to get into the Monster Truck extravaganza, it reminded me of this Groupon that my friend Carolyn, she posted a picture of it.
So I'm just basically stealing something from her Instagram.
I like it.
But it was a deal that she was sent from the good folks at
Groupon, and I am now reading it.
Undoink my
heart.
Alright.
Self-made jewelry produces a sense
of satisfaction that's unmatched
even by drafting an impressive
fantasy curling team or finally
realizing that you're a ghost revel in it with this groupon so is that just uh they had some
teen or something i think what the the groupon is saying is nobody reads this yeah laura ipsum
oopsum yeah yeah uh now erica you you seem like uh if i'm not wrong you're a person who's done Yeah, Laura Ipsum Oopsum. Yeah, yeah.
Now, Erica, you seem like, if I'm not wrong, you're a person who's done Groupon things before.
I have.
Yeah.
You seem like a cheapskate.
No, but you're into trying things. Yeah, you sign up, you try things, try new things.
You're in a car sharing plan, I believe.
I haven't heard about it, but you're pretty hush-hush about this about this card. I haven't heard about it. Don't want to.
I'm a high-ranking
member of Cardigo. Is there a
rankership? Yeah, she's a lieutenant.
What is the
kind of the worst of the
Groupon things that you signed up for?
I guess what is the best?
Why am I going glass half-empty?
Maybe it was a good experience.
I did the stand-up paddleboarding Groupon, which was pretty great.
I haven't had a bad Groupon experience.
But I'm also, I would never get a Groupon for like a haircut.
Or the one that surprises me is like the bikini.
I'm like, what are you doing?
We have to do it all at once with these strangers.
Everybody breathe in.
And then the person's just all attached.
And one giant piece of wax.
It's like a squirrel tail.
And she has to just run across the room.
Ripping it off.
A giant ribbon.
It's the Bikini King.
Have you ever done a Groupon?
Nope.
No.
I did.
I, like, performed at a show one night that was, like, a Groupon thing.
A lot of people.
It was, like, a dating thing, and it was in conjunction with Groupon.
And past guest Lachlan Patterson was on the show and everybody loved him.
But yeah, it was like
it was really weird because
like
it's not a thing
I guess when you're like speed dating
you don't want, I don't know, like do you want to be lumped in
with people who are like, ah, these people
all really appreciate a deal.
Like, you know what I mean? It seemed like a weird
time to save.
You know, it's not an oil change.
My life partner is not worth full price.
Yeah.
I once did a Groupon that was, what are they called?
Those cream puffs?
Beard Papas.
Oh, yeah.
But it wasn't Groupon.
It was like the Groupon's competitor.
Yeah, beardpapa.com.
And I
keep getting emails from them
and I don't remember this being
their name because it's the worst company
name. I think they maybe like gave
my email address to another
company or they changed their name.
But every day I get
an email from Bytopia
Deals.
B-U-Y-topia.
That sounds sketchy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just my hotmail.
Yeah.
So do you have one?
I do.
I have an overseen that comes courtesy of some well-played bathroom graffiti in a bathroom in Regina, Saskatchewan.
The initial writing, I think, was written to say, fuck off, bitch.
Right?
Now, somebody has changed the B to an M, so now it reads fuck off, Mitch.
To which somebody has responded, don't treat
Mitch like that.
It was all done on a
piece of wallpaper, so uncleanable.
It was in a
nice hotel.
So, well done.
Well done team.
Two different pens, so it wasn't all
the same person.
One person fighting with himself over Mitch.
I like a well-done bathroom graffiti back and forth.
You don't see them a lot anymore because everyone's on their phones in there.
That's true.
It's true.
Gross.
It is pretty gross, right?
That people are using phones at a table and then on a toilet and then God knows where else.
Looking up, using an iPhone after look at their friend's vagina while they're having a baby.
Don't sully it.
I'm not sully it.
I'm just saying these phones are getting used for a lot more than the phones of yore.
Yeah.
Although, like speaking of fancy hotels hotels, the phone in the bathroom.
What's that about?
Am I right?
Guess where I'm calling you from.
Erica has a second one, if I'm not mistaken.
Yes.
This one is not as exciting.
I was walking.
I don't know if the last one was exciting either.
It was great.
Yeah.
I was walking behind two young women.
And the one says to the other, like, whatever happened to that guy that you met at the grocery store?
And girl two says, he keeps texting me and he wants to go out, but I don't know.
And her friend's like, you should go out with him.
And she's like, I don't know.
And then she's like, I guess, yeah, I'll go out on one date. What's the worst that could happen? And her friend goes like you should go out with him and she's like i don't know and then she's like i guess yeah i'll go out on one date what's the worst that could happen and her friend goes
you could get murdered but you should definitely do it it was like her friend that was encouraging
her in the first place to go out on the date but it just occurred to her well i mean you could get
murdered oh don't think about the worst thing that could happen. Oh, boy. Even like the rung below the worst thing is pretty bad.
People meet in grocery stores?
That seems unlikely.
That seems very Three's Company to me.
Yeah.
Do you remember when I was a kid?
Do you remember when I was a kid, Graham?
Yeah.
I always used to think as an adult people would just ask you out on dates.
Like it seems like that's what happened.
You were out and somebody just was like, hey, hey baby would you like to go to dinner yeah i but also that was
in a time before like a lot of people were wearing like headphones right like there's a lot more
chance to just like you know kill time talking to somebody and be like i guess i guess we're
already this far we might as well go out on a date you know what i mean but like could you there
were only four channels.
Yeah.
Like, what were you going to do?
Stay home and watch TV?
Yeah.
Like, there was, outdoors was the thing, you know?
And like, you know, drugs were more plentiful.
Yeah, sure.
Not enough drugs these days.
But, you know, like, you would never talk to somebody in a grocery store.
Like, ever.
Even if you saw somebody, saw somebody drop, you know.
Oh, I will pick up something that someone dropped if they are carrying a baby.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, your baby dropped it.
You wouldn't, you'd just be like, oh, here you go.
You wouldn't be like, oh, hey.
Oh, yeah, no.
Hey, whose baby is that?
You wouldn't strike up a conversation.
I feel like Whole Foods is a place you could meet your future.
Can you believe the price for this shit?
That's how every conversation is.
All this shit is garbage.
You don't eat organic bananas.
You don't eat the peels.
Yeah, I guess because it's, what do you say, like a certain type person all at the same grocery store?
I guess, yeah.
There just seems to be.
Sometimes I'll just see two different people in Whole Foods.
Where you're like, you should be talking to this person.
I'm like, you are incredibly good looking and you like yoga.
Go.
I feel like in another life, like you would have been very satisfied as a matchmaker.
Yes.
Yeah.
Another life.
Well, I don't think.
You got too much stuff going on now to like.
I got car to go to run.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Babies to birth.
I remember I used to listen to, there was the local radio show called Sex, Lies, and Audio Tape hosted by Rona Raskin.
Yep.
I remember that.
And I was like 11 at this time and I'm, and I'm listening to people talk about orgasms.
I'm like, what's that?
Yeah.
And even the people calling up are like, what's that?
Did I have one?
It's the only sex call-in show for 11 years.
Next caller.
I have a boner click.
Next caller.
I have a powder click.
But one of the topics that, like, kept coming up was, like, and I listened frequently, was that people were tired of the bar scene.
Hey, how am I supposed to meet someone at a bar?
And so the host came up with this.
Rona Raskin.
Yeah.
Came up with this idea to meet in the produce stand like every Monday night
at 7 o'clock at this
grocery store. If you listen to this show
and you want to meet someone
It's all these dudes in trench coats
drilling a hole in a cantaloupe
all standing next to the
all the cucumbers are gone
They made us look better Check out these baby dills All standing next to the... All the cucumbers are gone.
They made us look better.
Check out these baby dills.
Yeah.
I can compete with this.
Yeah, that seems like it could have gone really... Super wrong.
Why didn't I go and just like scope it out?
It's all 11-year-old kids.
go and just like scope it out. It's all 11-year-old kids.
Which one of you guys is Rona?
All right.
So that's it?
Nope.
We also have overheards sent in to us from around the world.
And if you want to do the same, you can send it in to spy
at maximumfun.org.
This first one comes all the way
from Melbourne, Australia.
Other side of the planet, you guys.
G'day, Manky.
I work at a car wash,
and there's a guy there
who used to do the Gangnam Style dance
whenever it came on the radio
back when it was popular.
Makes sense.
That was like a week ago.
But it was not really a radio hit.
No, but maybe in Australia.
Oh, sure, yes.
It could be like a searching for Gangnam Style.
Sugarman?
Yeah.
Sigerman?
The other day, he was doing a dance to some random song on the radio, and our elderly
co-worker asked him, is that the new Genghis Khan?
Pretty good.
Pretty good old guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's
I don't know.
Is there a new dance craze?
There was that Harlem Shake
for a while. Oh yeah, that wasn't really a dance
craze though. Because everyone did it differently.
Yeah. And it involved editing. And masks. Yeah, that wasn't really a dance craze, though, because everyone did it differently. Yeah. And it involved editing.
And masks.
Yeah, I don't know anything about dance crazes.
There could have been seven since Gangnam Style.
I would have no idea.
Yeah, I don't think the Gangnam Style dance wasn't as fun to do as it was to look at.
I think also, like, what defines a dance craze?
Is it when old people are doing it at a wedding?
Does that mean that it's officially, like, hit dance craze status?
Yeah.
I mean, I guess people don't really dance.
No, it's just like.
I don't dance.
Don't ask me.
No, but, like, you know, like the YMCA thing or, like, the Achy Breaky Heart or whatever.
Like things that like at a wedding if they play it.
Mexican hat dance.
Oh, yeah.
Macarena.
Macarena.
There you go.
Thank you.
Chicken dance.
The electric slide.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That whirling dervish thing.
I think that time is over.
I hope.
For dance crazes?
Yeah.
No, that Gangnam Style.
Those old people
were doing it everywhere.
You couldn't stop them.
Look at that.
It's that.
Yeah.
It's just that.
But it was like a lot,
I feel like it was a lot
of like gym coaches
are like.
Yeah, but I meant
I think it's over
as in from this point forward.
Oh, okay.
We're starting now.
All right.
This next one
comes to us from JM, parts unknown.
Just overheard a girl who looked to be –
Oh, do you think it's your husband?
It might be.
Just overheard a girl who looked to be around 11 or 12 telling her mother what she wanted to give her dad for Father's Day.
Keep in mind that the girl was ending each sentence as though it were a question.
So this is the girl
talking. I want to sneak all his
empty beer bottles in tonight and fill them
full of candy, and then I want to
spray paint them black and
put them back in the carton, and then I
want to give it to him and be like, happy Father's
Day. And the mom just
says, yeah, he'd love that.
Pretty good.
He ruined my beer bottles and my candy.
Do you think there's ever been a good Father's Day present?
Any kid has done something...
Like from a kid?
Yeah.
Oh, you know, like from a really rich kid.
Like I bet you Donald Trump's kids gave him a nice car.
You know?
Like he probably left around a lot of hints, you know, like this is the boat I want and I'm giving you the exact allowance that boat costs.
Plus a little something for yourself.
Yeah, exactly.
Plus a hundred grand for yourself.
Yeah, like richies.
But you mean like –
But isn't it like you get it from your kid and it just melts your heart that he put googly eyes on a rock and said like, here you go.
I don't think it works that way with guys.
Yeah, I think it's like, oh, my kid knows so little about me.
He knows I wear a tie to work, so he bought me the worst tie. Because he hates me.
Yeah, and also,
go back to work, Dad.
More of this.
More of bacon bringing home.
I don't think I've ever
bought my dad a tie.
Did you?
No. I don't know. I may have.
I don't know.
The Father's Day thing, it's weird. This. I don't know. It's the Father's Day thing.
It's weird.
This is the weird thing.
It's like the Mother's Day ads and such, like the whole fanfare around Mother's Day, is very sincere.
And then all the stuff around Father's Day is like always just shows like a dad like falling off a hammock into a sprinkler.
It just shows like dad lighting the house on fire.
And then they'll be like, but you still love him, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a tough gig.
I thought a perfect Father's Day ad,
and I'm giving this away to any ad execs out there,
would be an outdoor, like, one of those outdoor fireplace things
that runs on propane.
Like a fire pit?
A little fire pit.
And you could say,
so he's finally heating the outdoors.
Ah!
Boom!
Well done.
Trademarked 2013.
I'm not giving it.
I thought you were giving it away.
I'm taking it back.
I'm taking it back.
This last one is an overseen.
This comes from Scribner, Nebraska.
Oh, good old Scribner.
This is from Anika.
And it's a vanity license plate.
It comes with the caption, maybe someone should have that awkward conversation with Nana.
Because the license plate says, Nana BJ.
Pretty great.
Yep.
Because you know it's just, you know, her name's Beth Jo.
Yeah, or like it's, I don't know, what's Nebraska short?
Bobby Jo.
I bet it's Bobby Jo.
Nana Bobby Jo?
Yeah.
Nana BJ.. Nana BJ.
Nana Nana BJ.
Dave, do we have overheards via phone?
No.
No.
Yeah, we got overheards.
This week, we used a very special phone number. If you would like to call it, it's 206-339-8328.
It's the same number we use every
week. Doesn't make it any less special.
Hi, Graham and Dave
and possible Christopher guests.
This is Tyler from Vancouver, British Columbia.
I have an overheard.
I was walking down Commercial Drive
and there was a man sitting
with some friends at a
patio kind of table and he said
the following very specific sentence
in the following very specific way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, nuclear waste.
But tell me how the date went.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she was a scientist.
But did she have bazoom?
You know, like in Greece, did she put up a fight?
Right?
That was a fun song about raping your
state. Well, I mean,
yeah.
Well, the hope was that
she was into it.
I mean, it was happening.
Yeah, it's true.
Doesn't Danny Zuko, he like saves, what is her name in the movie?
Sandy.
Sandy.
Like when she's out in the water.
Is that how it works?
That's how they meet?
Yeah, the story.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, right.
But do you think that she was just swimming and Zuko like tackled her in the water?
No, she put up a fight with a shark.
Yeah, that part of the song is about her still in the water? No, she put up a fight with a shark. Yeah, that part of the song
is about her still in the water.
Yeah, she was very strong
against the shark.
Well, never mind.
I was just going to say
she was from Australia.
I would think she knew how to swim.
What?
Why?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, Erica.
Yeah.
Jeez Louise.
You should have more sensitivity to her.
I would have thought she knew how to surf.
Is she Australian in the movie?
Yes.
Yeah.
Is she Australian in the stage play?
Or was it just that Olivia Newton-John couldn't do an American accent?
I completely glazed over
on that. I don't remember that she was
Australian. She had moved from Australia.
Weird. Weird detail.
What do her parents do?
Boomerang repair.
Why would they be
sent overseas then? That's ridiculous.
Because the boomerang
repair applies to a lot of American stuff.
Baseball repair.
We need you in it.
Where did they live?
Rydell High.
Oh, yeah.
Greece doesn't take place.
It takes place in any town in America, right?
I don't know.
It's based on a true story, right?
I know that the school where they shot it was somewhere in California,
and it's the same school from the Baby One More Time Britney Spears video.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, I get it.
I can see there's good mojo there.
Yeah.
Here's your next phone call.
Did she put up a fight?
Oh, my God, you guys.
This guy just stopped on his bike
across the street from me. There's no one else
on this block except me and him.
He stops and he
pulls out a cigarette
in his mouth and lights it super cool
and he's on speaker
phone, of course, like
any douchebag
would be
and he says,
hey, where are you?
And the girl clearly,
and I'm across the street from this phone,
the girl clearly says,
the girl clearly says,
I'm on 10th.
And he goes,
what?
She goes, I'm on 10th.
He goes, I can't hear you.
He closes the phone to hang it up.
And only after he closes the phone does he look at her and go, talk to you later.
Click. Talk to you later idiot oh man that's good oh yeah yeah that was a good descripto i know got everything all right
huh i don't even i like we that was perfect yep that's true here's your final phone call. All right. Hi, Dave Graham and a possible guest. My name is Alistair. I'm calling from St. Petersburg, Florida.
I've gotten overheard in the office today. Someone in another row of cubicles was saying,
hey, that guy from WikiLeaks, I wonder how long he's going to be able to stay out of trouble
or whatever their exact wording was.
I don't know if he's going to be able to do it much longer.
And then another woman on the road said,
they say he has three laptops.
Could a man be so information rich?
Who knows how long he could be on the run
with these infinite resources.
I've heard he has three laptops.
Yeah.
One's a MacBook Air.
It's mobile.
Oh, man.
Great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good round of overheard to everybody.
Well, that does bring us to the end of this year's show now uh this episode
will come out basically beginning of august uh the 20 oh let's say 9th of july so with that in mind
erica do you have anything to plug coming up in august i will be at heckler's comedy club in
victoria british columbia, August 2nd and 3rd.
And I invite anyone to come.
Oh, you invite anyone?
Anyone who wants to come who has, I don't even know how much it costs.
$12?
You've got to have a couple dollars in your pocket.
And there will be a pre-show meeting if you're single at the grocery store.
Yeah, yeah.
In the produce department.
And you're looking for a baby deal.
If you're tired of the bar scene.
Yeah, you're looking for a baby dill. the bar scene.
Yeah,
you're looking for a little,
a little gherkin.
And where can people
find you online?
Where can they access
Erica Sigurdsson?
Twitter,
at Erica underscore Sigurdsson.
Mm-hmm.
EricaSigurdsson.com.
Yep.
Facebook.
Yep.
Erica Sigurdsson.
Yeah.
LinkedIn. Let's just say Google. Yeah. Erica Sigurdsson. LinkedIn.
Let's just say Google.
Erica Sigurdsson.
Go from there.
How many Erica Sigurdsons are there?
Can't be that many.
No.
There's one in Ontario and there's one in Vancouver.
That's you.
No.
There's another one.
She spells her name with a K.
That's a different person.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's very – I don't know about that.
Is that a thing?
Is that a traditional spelling?
It's traditional.
They're actually.
Traditional to.
Well, there are no C's in the Icelandic language.
So technically, I'm the one that's spelling my name wrong.
But how do they spell Iceland?
Right.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Busted Iceland.
Maybe there's no K's and I'm right.
Hold on.
Yeah, there's no K's in Reykjavik.
Wait a sec.
Well, thank you for being our guest.
Thank you for having me.
Oh, what a pleasure.
What a fun episode.
Did we not have fun?
Yeah, we got there.
If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
Dave, anything to plug?
No.
It's August soon, so I want everyone to be aware that August is Awareness Month.
Absolutely.
Don't drink and boat.
Yeah, look over both shoulders at all times.
Yeah.
If you're a horse, don't wear blinders.
And if you're a human, don't wear blinders.
Yeah, and if you're in Scotland, if you're a human don't wear blinders um yeah and if you're in scotland if you're in edinburgh scotland i'll be there this whole month of august uh so if you're listening
to this now and you're like where to go for the balmy month of august may i suggest scotland where
it's not it's not so hot oh it's gonna be great they don't ground planes there on account of heat. They ground planes there because they snuck out after curfew.
If you enjoyed the podcast, you can tell your friends.
You can head over to MaximumFun.org.
Check out the blog recap that Dave does each and every week.
Sure.
Pictures and videos from stuff we talked about in this episode.
Yep. Like, you know, maybe grease or that. Baby. Pictures and videos from stuff we talked about in this episode. Yep, like
you know, maybe Grace or that
baby. The baby.
A baby. I'm not going to, yeah, I'm not going to
find a picture of this baby. No, just go to the
live blog that she did. Just take
a screen cap of the crowning.
And
if you want to get in touch with
us, it is
spy at maximumfund.org or 206-339-8328.
And feel free to leave a comment on the iTunes.
Oh, yeah.
You know, download this from.
Say you like the show.
Don't say you don't like it.
If you don't, just don't listen to it anymore.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're cool.
If you made it this far and you don't like it, you're just punishing yourself.
Don't punish us because you're the fool.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, everybody plays the fool, Dave.
Are there exceptions to the rule?
I don't know this song.
Oh, it's an old song.
Anyways, thanks for listening.
Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.