Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 339 - Ken Tremblett
Episode Date: September 15, 2014Actor Ken Tremblett joins us to talk about playing Mr. Belding 2.0, modern art, and Nerf Wars....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 339 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who has dumps like a truck.
Truck, truck. Guys like what? What? What?
Baby move your butt. Butt, butt.
I think I'll take it again.
Yeah, you knew what I was doing.
Yeah, that dress is so scandalous.
What happened to Cisco? Is he alright?
What happened to cisco is he all right he um what had happened to cisco um he had dumped like a truck no she did yeah she did what did he do he was he wanted to see
her thong who who what he was what was he in jodeci uh oh i have no idea wait he was in something
um drew hill drew hill yeah sorry uh he was in drew hill and then was he in he was in something. Drew Hill? Drew Hill. Yeah. Sorry. Nice.
He was in Drew Hill.
And then he was on the Wild Wild West song.
Yep.
But I don't know if that was as a member of Drew Hill, as a representative.
Yeah, he was representing entirety of Drew Hill.
Anyways, we wish Cisco the best.
I hope we get Cisco for the show.
And our guest today, first time guest to the program, very funny man, and an actor, a proper actor, Mr. Ken Trumbullet.
Wow.
After that intro, I was looking for someone else to come in the room.
Before every episode where we're not sure on how to pronounce the name, Graham double checks.
And then gets it wrong.
And then gets it wrong, as a matter of course.
Oh, well.
Welcome to the show.
It feels great to be here.
I'm really happy to be this close to both of you at the same time.
Right?
Thank you.
Together in one room.
And if it sounds like he's constantly eating bananas, it's because, Ken, tell us what you're
doing.
I'm having dinner.
It's because.
Ken, tell us what you're doing.
I'm having dinner.
I brought five bananas, a coconut water, and a single beer.
Yeah.
And is this a paleo diet?
Let's get to know us.
Get to know us. This is just.
What, what?
Yeah, what is this diet?
Well, is it part of a diet or is it just, uh-oh?
It's the castaway diet.
Yeah, or was it like a challenge on Top Chef?
The Gilligan diet.
No, I, um, last year I saw myself on camera for the first time in about four or five years.
Not working much?
I wasn't.
I was out of the business.
I guess that's another story for another time.
I can't know.
This is for this time, yeah.
Okay.
And, um, I saw myself on camera.
I had to go in and do some ADR, additional dialogue recording for Supernatural And the guy said, okay, we'll just cue up the scene
We'll run it once, you take a look at it
He cued up the scene, I looked at the big screen
And I thought to myself, who's that old fat guy?
Oh no!
It broke my heart
And so I immediately went out And became a vegetarian
I lost 45 pounds in three months
Wow
And then I stopped exercising
Maintained the diet
And I'm still down over 40 pounds
Yeah, that's what they say
The diet is way more important than exercise
Yeah, and I haven't eaten all day today
And I thought, you know
Instead of getting a slice of pizza
Or some delicious KFC
Yeah
I'll grab some bananas from the market.
A bunch of bananas.
You've given up vegetarianism?
No, I'm about a 95 percenter.
Okay.
You know, and you have a joke about, you know, when you're vegetarian.
When you're drinking, yeah.
But when, you know, what, drunk?
Drunk Graham.
Drunk Graham is not a vegetarian.
Yeah.
It's.
I've slipped off that a little bit.
You know, sometimes you go out and you grab a
slice or two or three.
Mm-hmm.
You know.
Well, it's going to happen, right?
Yeah.
Because I stay away from the bread too.
The bread was killing me.
Yeah.
And no bread for me.
No bread, mostly no meat.
So just like fruit and vegetables.
Fruit and vegetables.
You know, people always say, what do you eat?
I said, there's a lot out there.
There's a lot of fruits and vegetables.
And rice pasta. Name them. Almond milk, what do you eat? I said, there's a lot out there. There's a lot of fruits and vegetables. And rice pasta.
Name one.
Almond milk.
Rice, rice pasta?
Yeah.
Not rice calm off pasta.
Just rice pasta.
Yeah.
It's, it's pasta made out of rice instead of
made out of durum wheat.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Whatever.
I bought some squid ink pasta the other day.
What?
Dave.
That's not, it's, it's made of wheat with
squid ink. It's black. It's black as the ace of spades. Um, I's not, it's, it's made of wheat with squid ink.
It's black.
It's black as the ace of spades.
Um,
I don't get it.
I don't,
why?
I don't want to get it.
I guess it's salty.
Are we going down
a different road now?
Well,
it's,
cause pasta's not
known for its
color.
It's blackness.
Yeah,
it's darkness.
Well,
pasta,
I mean,
you'll get,
oh boy, the american listeners
will hate this pronunciation what do they say pasta pasta right because they're so they're so
i think they're so much better than us i always thought that was a like a british
i was at the country club in Iqbal also. Anyway.
Yeah.
And well, you can get like the red stuff that's like tomato.
Sure.
And the spinachy green stuff.
Or I might be thinking of tortilla.
Because isn't that ink supposed to be poisonous or something?
Isn't that what they shoot out at you?
The squid ink?
Yeah.
Isn't that some kind of a dangerous thing? I haven't eaten it yet.
But no.
Oh.
Can someone taste it for you?
I just bought a package of it, and I don't know what to do with it.
I bet you when you boil it, the water all turns black, and then you're like, gross.
Just throw it in the garbage.
Well, because I bought this.
What a money-making scam.
I bought this magazine that was a bunch of Italian recipes, and I was like, oh, boy.
The fall's coming.
I'm going to eat a lot of pasta.
You know, going to just. Carbologe, I'm going to have nothing but baked ziti.
It sounds more like a Chinese recipe than an Italian.
Yeah, with the squid ink.
Yeah.
But then I was like, I know there was a squid ink pasta recipe in this magazine.
So I went and I bought the squid ink, and when I got home,
it was a recipe for squid ink pasta
with like sea urchin.
I gotta look at your
bookshelf.
I gotta see what else
you're reading.
I'm never making that.
Oh yeah,
that's just gross.
So you're off of the
Where would you even
buy sea urchin?
Chinatown?
Yeah.
I guess so.
You know,
Urchinville,
the Urchin district.
Urchin town.
Urchin, yeah.
What's the difference between a sea urchin and like one of those...
A street urchin?
A street urchin, yeah.
Is it just a sea urchin on a skateboard?
Yeah, one sings and dances, asks for more supper.
Yeah.
And one is your supper.
Yeah, that's the easy distinction for the amateur.
For the listener, Ken is moving on to banana number two.
This is banana number two of five.
He opens them from the bottom like an ape.
Yeah, and then he has a handle to hold it by on the bottom.
Yeah.
It's a very elegant solution.
Yeah, it was a Chinese man actually taught me that.
Really?
I don't want to tell you any more about that weekend, but that's the thing I took away.
I feel like this is going to be a bad confucius joke
um so okay so you uh for many many years you were an actor in vancouver you're in movies and
television and then one day you did a great supernatural yeah where you uh you played an
old fat guy you look an old fat guy you play b an old fat guy. You played Brian Dennehy.
I didn't even know that's what I was doing.
And then you decided, no more.
I'm not doing this anymore.
I'm out of the business.
I was.
I was sure that was it for me.
That was 2008.
And I just walked away.
I couldn't do it anymore.
I didn't feel connected to anything.
I had some family issues. Right. I had, I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't feel connected to anything. I had some family issues.
Right.
I had death in the family and I tried to hang on and be a professional as much as I could,
but I wasn't working either.
Right.
I kept gaining weight, going into debt.
And I just thought, you know what?
That's not where I live.
That's it.
I'm going to work.
And of course, I took a job in Texas fixing
hockey sticks for a year.
What does that mean?
I know.
Look at this guy.
Well, when you break a hockey stick, you don't
want to just throw it away.
Okay.
So you have it repaired.
You know, these carbon fiber hockey sticks.
Oh, because they're very expensive.
Yeah.
They were $300, $400 sometimes.
And so you weren't just like the roadie for a
hockey team.
No, but I was a roadie for a band.
What?
At the same time.
Yeah.
What band?
It was called Stripper's Lie.
They are now defunct.
Oh, no.
I think they all got chlamydia and died or something.
Do they have a Wikipedia page that they can check out?
No, but they are just a touring southern U.S.,
southern house band, right?
Okay.
Yeah, and so the guy that was the bass player in that band
owns Stick Fix, which is the company that fixes sticks.
So is it, but these are not like professional hockey teams sending in their sticks, are they?
No, but we would get sticks from professional hockey teams and then sell them to the consumer.
But they would never buy them back.
They would never use them again.
There were some teams that would use the broken ones for their practices.
Okay.
But that's all.
Weird.
So if a professional hockey team sends you their broken sticks, do you give them a consignment fee if you resell it?
No, they don't get anything except the $5 up front.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So he is now partnered with-
These billionaire athletes with their $5 hockey stick fees.
So he's gotten a relationship now with Houston Arrows, the minor league team, the AHL.
That's where Gordie Howe played and his sons.
Really?
Yeah.
On the Arrows?
Yeah.
Is that the name of the team down in Houston?
I don't know.
They were a professional team in the WHA.
Now they're an AHL franchise.
You know things Graham
I know
Some parts of things
He knows all the guys
At the Dallas Stars
And there's a lot of hockey
In Texas
And we were shipping
These things around the world
Literally around the world
To Russia
To Sweden
To Australia
You know
Fixing these broken sticks
And then sending them out
All over the world
Yeah
And some of them
Would just be
We would get them
From local teams
Fix them
And then sell them on eBay
to people who never had a stick before, right?
They couldn't afford one of those sticks before,
but then we would sell it for 80 or 100 bucks.
Because when I was a kid...
And they're stronger than when they're new
at the break point, right?
Oh, because you've forged them.
Oh.
Scar tissue.
Scar tissue.
I learned that from that.
That Anthony Kiedis book and song.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that's the name of his autobiography.
Yeah, yeah, but it does...
And he goes into a...
In the song, does he explain that it's stronger
than the original tissue?
Oh, maybe not.
Does he explain it in the book?
You can get your nursing degree by reading that book.
Maybe he doesn't explain it in either of it,
but I think it's implied, right?
Scar tissue that I wish you saw.
Yeah.
It's osmotic learning, right?
It just gets in there.
Yeah, that's where I got my degree.
Man, those Cisco things, I don't know how you pull all that out without checking Wikipedia.
How do you know I didn't before the show?
Oh, you guys know a lot of things.
Wikipedia wouldn't have the lyrics to Thong Song.
Oh, sure it would.
If you typed in Thong Song Wiki, it's got its own wing.
song wiki it's got its own its own wing um well there was someone had written uh
you know the song peaches by presidents of the united states of america um but someone posted like a screen capture of the uh wikipedia for that song and it's about
the plot of that song and it's like uh the farmer then realizes that the amount of peaches is finite.
Fortunately, that amount is in the millions and they are free.
Somebody's dissertation on peaches.
Someone got their MBA through that.
So you fixed hockey sticks. Yes. In Texas.
Yes.
And where in Texas?
In Houston.
Houston.
Okay.
H-town.
Oh man, it was hot.
Beyonce's hometown.
It was hot.
So hot, you know.
And the first day I got there, I was 30 seconds
outside the airport waiting for my friend to
pick me up.
Sweat is rolling down the small on my back and I
just thought, I can't live here.
And I knew that I was going to be there forever.
He picked me up.
We went straight to a gas station because he was low on gas.
Sure.
He gets out.
This all makes sense so far.
He starts pumping the gas, but he hasn't turned the engine off,
which freaked me out in 110 degree weather.
Yeah.
I said, this is not safe.
He goes, I do it all the time.
Leave the air conditioning on.
Oh, really?
I went, wow, this doesn't seem right.
And then he gets back in the car and we pull away.
He says, well, they do it up in Edmonton all the time, in Calgary, in the cold.
And you leave the heat on.
I went, oh, yeah, I guess so.
But it still doesn't seem right, does it?
It does.
It does.
It's more dangerous.
But it also seems like the gas should then be free.
It's like, I didn't turn my car off.
It's like you're doing a dine and dash.
You know what?
It's like a drive-through gas my car off. Yeah. It's like you're doing a dine and dash. You know, it's like a drive-through gas station.
Yeah.
Just keep going.
That's what I thought he was going to say to you.
Oh, I'm stealing this gas.
That's why.
Yeah.
Just be cool.
And then my first day there, he had to go out of town.
And so I went to the YMCA.
I thought I'd find a place I can work out or something.
And I walked to the YMCA, which was just over two miles away.
Yeah.
And I walked over there and I thought it was
really peculiar that, you know, on a Thursday
afternoon, two o'clock, I didn't see a single
person on the street.
Yeah.
The whole two miles over and two miles back.
Nobody walks.
Nobody walks.
That's what he said.
He said, I'm surprised they didn't call the
cops on you.
It's just you walking by, you know,
what is it,
like cow skulls? I was a white guy
walking through
some black neighborhoods,
too.
Oh, really?
I was the dangerous
minority in some places,
right?
But you had all
those hockey sticks.
That's right.
I just pulled one
out of my quiver
as I walked.
Casey Jones.
Take a slap shot
and you want to get close.
Is that the name
of the guy?
Casey Jones?
Yeah.
From the Ninja Turtles?
Oh, I thought it was Casey at the Bat.
No.
Isn't that Casey Jones too?
That was Casey.
Yeah, Casey.
That was just Casey at the Bat.
Spoiler alert.
Casey struck out.
Yeah.
Well, but then didn't he have-
There was no joy in Mudville.
Who are your famous Casey's?
Sunshine Band?
Yeah.
At the Bat.
Kasem.
Kasem.
The late great.
Casey Jones The railway guy
Casey Jones
Driving that train
High on cocaine
Yep
That's the nursery rhyme?
No it's a
Grateful Dead song
Oh okay
Casey Jones
The Ninja Turtles character
Casey
Who was the other one?
Casey
Oh what
We were just talking about?
Yeah
I forget I forget too The closer for the J's
Casey Jansen
Okay good
I'm trying to think is there like some famous lady named Casey
Casey
Probably in porn
Casey James
How do we know that
Well osmosis
I don't know that we do.
So how long were you down there fixing sticks?
I was there one year exactly.
One year.
Then I had to leave again for another family emergency.
Okay.
So it was all just swinging from one emergency to the next.
So I returned to Canada, went to Calgary with my parents.
That was the family emergency.
I came back here, hung out with some friends.
And then I got a phone call from my good buddy
who lived in San Jose del Cabo, just outside of
Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
And he said to me, while I was sleeping on my
buddy's couch, what do you think of moving to
Mexico?
So I said, sure. So I shaved my head my buddy's couch. What do you think of moving to Mexico? So I said, sure.
So I shaved my head.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
Did he ask you to join the game?
Yeah, yeah.
What was the second part of this conversation
that involved you shaving your head?
Oh, I tried to give myself a nice haircut
before I left town.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Because I was too cheap to spend the $12.
I don't need this city,
and I don't need these hairs.
I don't need this hair. I don't need these hairs I don't need this hair
So all I need is these clippers
And this chair
Yeah
So I
I shaved my head
Because I did such a hack job
On my head
And I was
Have you ever cut your own hair Graham?
Yeah when I
I had a shaved head
At one point
And I would do the
I don't think he's cut anything For a while No No it's been a while It at one point and I would do the clippers.
I don't think he's cut anything for a while.
No.
No, it's been a while.
It's all wild.
Yeah, I remember when I first met you, you were such a nice little boy.
I was.
You know?
Yeah.
You were about eight years old.
I was a dancing baby boy.
I was the only eight-year-old doing comedy.
You know what else is weird?
Anybody here celebrating anything?
The bastard child of Bugs Bunny guy.
Elmer Fudd.
Elmer Fudd.
Oh, please.
Go back and edit that.
Make me sound like I know what I'm talking about.
The bastard child of Bugs Bunny guy.
You know
He was wascally
Yeah
He was wascally
Well he wasn't wascally
He was a hunter
Yeah
He was very very quiet
He wanted to kill
The wabbit
Etc
Fred Flintstone
Yeah
Right
Yeah
Yosemite Sam
So
You shaved your head
Oh yeah
So I was
Also 253 pounds Which is not a good look on me.
Well, you're also, for the listener, you're three foot 11.
And I went to Mexico.
So I showed up in Mexico and.
Hot down there too.
Yeah, it was hot down there.
And my job.
Now I'm six two, I'm 253 pounds with a shaved head.
Not a good look.
I'm not in good shape.
Oh, a preschool teacher.
My job?
Fixing baseball bats.
I'm running a gym.
Oh, really?
I was running a fitness center.
Wow.
And teaching people how to lose weight.
Okay. And get healthy. And I did that for six months. I was running a fitness center Wow And teaching people How to lose weight Okay
And get healthy
And
I did that for six months
And I also sold HGH
Oh
When I wasn't working there
Yeah but I sold that on the phone
Oh
Really?
Yeah
Like
In Spanish?
No two Americans
Me llamo Ken
Soy HGH Bienvenido You want to turn your fajita into a burrito?
Yeah.
Oh, I needed you guys down there.
I sold nothing.
Six months.
Oh, yeah.
Graham and I are juicing hard.
Yeah.
I can see that. Well, we're not juicing. Oh yeah, Graham and I are juicing hard. Yeah. I can see that.
Well, we're not juicing. Oh, wow!
He's just showing a picture. That doesn't look like you. No, but pictures
on a podcast are great for the audience.
Yeah, yeah. I can post it to the
site. Yeah, it wasn't a good look for me.
Yeah. You know?
But it looks like a guy who maybe was
that owns a gym. I could see that.
I could see him being a guy, you know,
come on, you, get up, you.
Certainly a meathead.
Threatening people with hair hats.
Oh, wow, that's you with a beard.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, that's when I, those are my walkabout days.
Yeah, those, the wild years.
He's showing us, like, selfies he took with no facial expression.
Just like, I knew there was a mugshot in my future somewhere.
Oh, this guy's real sad.
I had to get ready.
You know, you got to get behind those things before they get out in front of you.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I did that for six months, and then I left and went up to Dave Nystrom's place.
Mm-hmm.
In L.A.
Very funny comedian.
Has he been on?
No.
No, because he's been in L.A. the whole time that we've been doing this thing.
Well, he comes up every two and a half years And gets his wife pregnant So he should be here
Again next summer
He's due
He's due
He is due
That's right
Because their kid
Is only like eight months old
So they're
So the kid is
They have sex
Every two and a half years
That's not how it works
No that's his wife's schedule
He's gotten used to it
Wait does he get her
Pregnant in Canada
In Canada
And then they have them
In the states
Anchor babies
I think that's what they call them, right?
Wait, the baby has to be conceived in this country?
Hey, it's her rules, not mine.
You have to get them both on here.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
So I was there six months and I ran a rental yacht in Marina Del Rey for six months.
And I worked with an inventor.
What?
I know.
It sounds like I'm going to say I wrote a unicorn to work.
It was just ridiculous.
I mean, like what separates an inventor from, say, Graham?
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Am I not an inventor?
Sure, I don't own any patents or anything.
He had a backer.
That's what I couldn't believe.
And we would hang around his backyard and just come up with ideas.
Wow.
Like, what if we took, like, a plate, but, like, made it float?
Floating plate.
Yeah, so that you could eat in the pool.
No, he was a guy who, you know, what if we took a bunch of this pot and put it in this pipe and lit it on fire?
We could create a new kind of...
And then we inhaled it.
Yeah.
Then we would get super high.
What do you think would happen?
Maybe I'll invent something.
Let's try.
Yeah.
And then he would say, honey, can you get the kids out of here?
It's a lot of that, but I got paid for it.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Getting laid while you're getting paid.
The last bit of adventure was then I went to Calgary, and I took a job at the chocolate factory.
That's right.
Now, I remember the chocolate.
Yeah.
This is all news to you, though, isn't it?
Well, yeah.
I don't know you.
I just met you tonight.
You seem like a fascinating fellow.
But I've seen his comedy.
He's fantastic.
Aren't I?
Especially that lab that ate chocolate. Oh, boy. I can't remember how it went. I just met you tonight. You seem like a fascinating fellow. But I've seen his comedy. He's fantastic. Aren't I? Especially that lab that ate chocolate.
Oh, boy.
I can't remember how it went.
Well, he ruined it.
But he's named chocolate or something.
Well, you worked in a chocolate factory, I understand.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah, and I was offered.
Is it every bit as magical as I am imagining it?
No.
This seems like one of those.
No.
Like a talk show where the host is setting the person up for like,
I hear you have an interesting story about a chocolate factory.
Except it's the opposite.
He set it up with, I worked at a chocolate factory.
Anything interesting happen?
No.
Next question.
No, it was interesting from an outsider's point of view for a guy that doesn't like to work.
Right.
But after two weeks of working in the shipping and receiving, they offered me the opportunity to become a chocolatier.
To train full-time as a chocolatier.
This is an amazing life story.
And I just said, no, right away.
And they went, what are you talking about?
It's $80,000 to start.
Yeah, no one's ever turned down the job.
You couldn't believe it.
It's how many thousand dollars to start?
80.
Oh, a year?
Really?
Yeah.
Canadian, strong Canadian dollars.
Oh, follow-up question.
What the hell is a chocolate tier?
It's a guy who invents the textures and the flavors.
So they're combining Blake Bacon with dark chocolate,
and they're pairing it with different beers and all this.
And they do sculptures, all this stuff, right?
So an artiste.
And you turned that down?
Yeah.
Did you have any qualifications?
No, they were going to train me for a year at pay and then go forward.
And they ended up hiring this great guy from Montreal.
Something, something Wonka.
Yeah.
Willie something, something.
Yeah, he was a bit off.
And the kids like him
Oh wow
Yeah because I thought
I gotta get back
In the film industry
I've been out working
For years
You've been out
In the real world
Yeah it's not good
Yeah you were like
Stinkeroo
No craft services
No I finally realized
There's nothing to eat
At this chocolate factory
Oh you know what
That was something
We could eat as much chocolate
As we wanted
Yeah dude
You sure could
Yeah they just said
Don't take it home with you
I've seen that episode
Of I Love Lucy
I know all about it
I took a bag home
Every night
You're not allowed
For my mom
Yeah
I
Hey it's for mom right
Yeah yeah
I once heard of the story
About a guy who
Worked at KFC
And one day
Like I think it was
The day he quit
He took home
Two bags of their,
uh,
like secret recipe,
uh,
like powder.
Yeah.
The coating and,
uh,
right.
His car and took it home.
And then,
uh,
the cops showed up at his house.
Cause it's like his super secretly heavily guarded.
Really?
Yeah.
Isn't it just pepper and,
uh,
paprika or something?
Seven? Eleven herbs and spices?
Eleven herbs and spices. But I think like
surely somebody's
retro, you know, taking it apart in the lab.
And hasn't everyone like
barfed from it?
They've seen it come up as its elements.
Individual elements.
I barfed eleven times.
Here comes the basil.
Ken is on banana number three
of the bunch.
I didn't even have your phone number.
I've known you for 12 years.
Well,
and you don't have my phone number.
We can rectify that.
We can trade phone numbers.
5-5-5.
6-7-0-5.
Mine's 5-5-5 lime.
Mine's 5-5-5 real phone numbers. 5-5-5. Mm-hmm. 6-7-0-5. Mine's 5-5-5 Lime. Mine's 5-5-5
Real Phone Number.
So that's like,
that's quite an odyssey
that you were like,
see you later,
stink industry.
And then you went
on this crazy,
and then you came back
and then you started acting again.
I came back
and I didn't work for a year.
Oh, well that's...
It was a grand welcome back.
The life of the actor for you.
But I did do background work.
Mm-hmm.
Which was soul crushing.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, when you're used to talking with the
director and hanging out with the camera guys.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, having a nice trailer and.
You're seeing them do that.
And you're getting paid 10 times as much, you know.
That used to be.
Well, I would walk on set and I would see friends of mine. Hey man, what are you doing? You're back in 10 times as much you know that used to be well i
would walk on set and i would see friends of mine hey man what are you doing you're back in town
what are you doing here today i went walking behind you yeah it was almost a chocolate tear
i'll have you know but that is very much uh a symptom of the canadian film industry like erica
sigurdsson uh past guest on the show has told like, she has a joke about what,
like writing for whatever the genies or,
or.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A award show for all of the television shows
in Canada.
And then the next day showing up to work as
an extra.
Yeah.
I just saw her doing extra work the other day
and I thought she was a PA.
I thought she was like an AD or a extras
wrangler.
Right.
Yeah. And she goes, no, no, that's, that's, I'm a PA on this show. Well, she was was a PA. I thought she was like an AD or a extras wrangler. Right? Yeah.
And she goes, no, no, that's, that's, I'm a PA on this show.
Well, she was playing a PA.
Yeah.
But she was sitting with all the extras were sitting at these tables together and she was sitting off by herself.
Yeah.
And I walked by and I went, hey, I didn't know you were a wrangler.
No.
Background.
I was like, wow, you're a great actress.
She's following a real wrangler around
To get notes
No she's a great actress
Now yes
This is our first time meeting
But I got a message from past guest Sean Proudlow
A couple weeks ago saying hey you know who you should have
On the show
He's a really funny guy
And he's
His most recent credit
Is he was in the Saved by the Bell TV movie as the guy who plays Mr. Belding.
And Mr. Belding.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You had to play two roles.
Dennis Haskins.
Yeah.
And then Mr. Belding.
Well, may I tell you what my mother said at the end of the viewing last night?
She called me.
Okay.
We're recording this the day after the premiere.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
This is the day after.
And she said, well, your father and I just watched the movie.
I said, yeah.
I said, you know, I'm not in it a lot.
It's all about the kids.
She goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you said you were playing Mr. Belding.
I said, yeah.
She says, well, we looked at the credits at the end
and it said that you were Dennis someone.
I think they got your credit wrong.
Oh, mom.
Oh, mom, you're so lame.
So I said to her, I said, no, Dennis Haskins is the actor who portrayed the character, Mr. Belding.
And then she goes, oh, yeah, Jim, that's the character name.
He played the actor.
She goes, oh, yeah, it all makes sense now.
So I don't know what they're doing while they're watching the movie.
That's taking down notes.
Well, they're just saying that, you know, Mr. Belding would never do that.
You know what they're doing is, oh, we've got to have something to say to him when we call him after this.
What did the credit say?
Dennis something.
All right.
They weren't big fans of me leaving criminal psychology to get into acting.
Parents rarely are.
Okay, so when we first heard about this movie existing, well, I work at CBC and it was shot at CBC.
Yeah.
And I would like stock the set and I like went into the wardrobe room and I was like looking at all the acid wash clothes.
And they just took all the clothes and threw was like looking at all the acid wash clothes and they
just took all the clothes and threw them in a vat of acid uh and um uh like i i looked at zach's wig
and uh there were like posters for the the characters on the wall and i like i had a boner
for a month um but uh we we were super excited yeah and we because we we we were we were kind of
confused too right like yeah because i didn't know what what was going on i just knew like
all of a sudden there was a guy that kind of looked like screech sort of walking around in
screech clothes where do you see him i i sometimes work at the cbc as. Oh, okay. So how did I not see you guys there?
I was there like six days.
Oh, we move like ghosts.
Yeah.
We didn't want to be in anyone's way.
Yeah.
We don't work in that department.
We're kind of like extras to the extras.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But yeah, I saw them building the Macs and everything, and we were super excited.
Well, tell us everything.
Yeah, tell us everything.
You guys haven't seen it.
I was fine.
No,
I've read the book.
Oh,
okay.
You saw the show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um,
but I've,
yeah,
I've seen it by the bell.
Did you,
have you?
Yeah,
I did after I got the audition.
You hadn't seen it before?
No,
I'd seen bits and pieces over the years.
I was 25 when it premiered.
Right.
I was 25 when it premiered. Right. Right. I was 25 when it premiered. 24 when it premiered.
So, um, I just had to go back to YouTube and
look up some very specific items of, uh,
Dennis Haskins or Mr. Belding.
Right.
Just to see what he would do.
And, um.
How do you get into the mind of a Dennis Haskins?
Mm-hmm.
Well, I just use my own mind and I applied it
thusly. Sure. I just figured what would mind And I applied it Thusly
Sure
I just figured
What would
You know
What would I do
If I was in this situation
Sure
You know
As the actor
Can we speak to Dennis
Wait I gotta part my hair
On the other side
Yeah
It was
It was fun
It was
It was a good
I mean
There's no dirt to tell you
No
We're not looking for dirt.
These six kids became best of friends right away as well.
They were hanging on each other, hanging around all the time, right?
And Lifetime, it seems they were selling this as a really dirty, salacious, tell-all, who was screwing who kind of thing.
Right.
And that's not what the story is.
It's actually the telling of how did they come
up with the idea?
How did they do the casting?
Why did they cast certain people?
And then just the natural things that happened
to a bunch of teenagers who were all.
But there was some screwing.
Forced together.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, but remember this is Lifetime too, right?
Right.
Do we have Lifetime here? No, but we. Channel 103. Really? Yeah. Yeah. But remember, this is lifetime too, right? Right. Do we have lifetime here?
No, but we.
Channel 103.
Really?
Yeah.
On my cable package.
Yeah.
Graham's been without cable.
He's like a cable vegetarian.
Yeah.
Like.
He'll sneak some when he's drunk.
Cable-tarian.
Yeah, yeah.
Except at night.
Yeah.
Once in a while, I'll have some cable. Oh, and I overd at night. Yeah, once in a while I'll have some cable.
Oh, and I overdo it.
Yeah, so you watched it last night?
Yeah, I watched it with Damon Schritter.
And he hadn't seen the show at all.
But he seemed to like it as well.
You know what?
It's one of these things, like it's a cultural touchstone.
Yeah.
More than anything. Like it was, I remember when I was younger, there was like a tell-all TV movie about the Partridge family.
And that was like a thing like, I don't know about the Partridge family, but people who watched it would be like, oh, I have to see this because it was a thing.
Right.
And there are people in both camps. There are people that love the TV show and love this,
and people who love the TV show and absolutely hate everything about this.
Huh.
Right?
Right.
And it's too bad because initially there were people coming out saying,
you know, how dare you do this to my favorite show?
That was my childhood.
You're destroying it because they thought it was going to be all of this sex,
drugs, and rock and roll stuff, right?
And it's just about rock and roll. It was a theme song. Yeah. Oh, the soundtrack. You're going to love the thought it was going to be all of this sex, drugs, and rock and roll stuff, right? And it's just about rock and roll.
It's a theme song.
Yeah.
Oh, the soundtrack.
You're going to love the soundtrack.
Rock and roll.
People are raving about the soundtrack already.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
And then people are coming out saying, how dare you try to replace them?
And I had to write to people on Twitter and go, you know, we're not replacing anyone.
We're telling a story.
Yeah.
Okay?
Yeah.
Well, you couldn't hire all those actors
Back to play their 13 year old selves
I know
Somebody
Somebody was
Some people were saying
They should have just had
The real actors come out
And do it
Oh boy that would have been weird
Dennis Haskins is 63
That would have been great
You know
Lark Voorhees
Has a new face
Yeah
Yeah that's true
And brain
You know
Oh did she get a new brain as well
Well she's kind of
She's not well
She doesn't seem to be well.
And I read today that she said she didn't watch it and she's not going to.
Hmm.
A lark.
I would.
If there was a movie portrayed.
About you?
Yeah, I would watch it.
Who will be cast in the podcast?
Yeah, that's right.
Tell our story.
Somebody rugged.
For me.
Yeah, for Dave.
Someone from the Duck Dynasty?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Who's the old racist one?
Clem or whatever his name is.
Or what's his name?
One of those easy top dudes.
Oh, yeah.
There's not a lot of guys around with that beard anymore.
No, that's true.
I got, actually, the other night.
This is a weird thing.
And at the same time, it's weird.
It's a thing that I was like, how come more people don't do that?
It was somebody driving down the street, like Fraser Street, with a bullhorn just yelling at people as they drove by.
When they yelled at me, they were like, what's up, CZ Tom?
Is that going to be a thing now?
I don't know.
It seemed like a lot of fun.
A bullhorn heckle?
Yeah, just driving by people
hey groceries you know and then somebody going oh they're talking to me yeah i got groceries
that's me oh they got me it seems like i've ah that seems like a good bachelor party thing like
rent a bullhorn get a car rent well don't buy one yeah you don't need to the police remember
when you go to a video rudd maybe you could be you could be, Paul Rudd could play you. Oh, yeah.
Don't flatter yourself.
I think a handsome Paul Rudd.
Yeah.
Yeah, like a handsomer Paul Rudd.
Yeah.
But do you remember when you could go to video stores and like rent a video camera or like
an entire VHS tape deck?
Yeah, or you could rent a Nintendo.
A Nintendo for a weekend.
You remember that? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. You look so young. I'm Graham's deck. Yeah, or you could rent a Nintendo. A Nintendo for a weekend. You remember that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
You look so young.
I'm Graham's age.
Yeah.
I know.
I'm old like Graham.
We're oldsters.
Yeah.
No, I think you're the first eight-year-old comedy team.
You'll like the movie.
Yeah.
I think you'll really like it.
Of course we will, yeah.
I tried to watch it online today.
Online? But I couldn't. Yeah, I don't have a... What, tried to watch it online today Online?
What it's hacked out online already?
I don't have any cable anywhere
Well it didn't occur to me
I didn't know when it was premiering
I just assumed
You haven't been watching my twitter feed
Well I can guarantee you I haven't
But also
You shot it like two months ago
I assumed that oh this is going oh, this is going to take years of special effects.
Close for an accident.
No, it's the 25-year anniversary this year.
Oh, of course it is.
Right?
Wow.
They had to get it out.
Yeah.
Well, you guys call yourself fans.
Oh, I do.
I do call myself fans.
What was AC for?
In AC Slater? Albert Clifford. Okay. Oh, I do. I do call myself fans. What was AC for? In AC Slater?
Albert Clifford.
Okay.
You are a fan.
Air conditioning.
The trailer.
Was there any more trivia in it?
Air conditioning.
Is it a trivia movie?
Oh, I'd clean up in that.
In the trailer for it, where shows them at like The photo shoot
You have the
You have the outline
Oh yeah
Which is great
It's alright
Because you're saved by the bell
They work that into every other scene
I wanted to do the
Hey hey hey hey hey
What is going on here?
Did you never get to say that?
Wasn't allowed
It was intellectual property owned by NBC.
Oh.
No way.
That's what I was told.
Everyone had that T-shirt.
The Mr. Belding T-shirt.
Just did a banana spit take.
A banana spit.
Yay.
Not bad.
Is it your first?
Is it your first?
It is our first.
It's our first guest to eat a bunch of bananas.
Oh, you know what?
We did have bubbles.
Yeah, one of the early episodes.
Oh, wow.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
You guys need a tree or a jungle gym in here.
Well, yeah, we need some rope.
A couple more bananas, I'll be climbing.
Oh, that was banana number three.
That was banana number three
Yeah yeah
Okay alright
Orange you glad
I didn't say it
Dave what's going on
With you man
Well
I recently played
Mr. Feeny
In the
Boy Meets World
Picture
What was his catchphrase
Now now Corey
Now now What was his catchphrase? Now, now, Corey.
Now, now.
Hands off, Corey.
Get what you wish for, boy.
Meet the world.
Yep.
Oh, it's real free-form, isn't it?
Yeah. I don't know.
It's that kind of show.
Okay.
So, what's going on with me?
We're recording a bunch of episodes in a short time period because Abby's having a baby.
My wife is having a baby.
Oh, that's what's wrong with her.
Yeah.
No, she's just had too much gluten.
Huge, huge belly.
She looks fantastic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, you wouldn't think she was nine months pregnant.
No.
She's been sparkly.
I wouldn't have thought she was even married.
Well, she's not.
She can't fit her rings on anymore.
Wow.
Oh, yeah.
Fantastic.
So you guys got tattoos.
Yeah, we got tattoos.
That's one thing they really recommend when you're pregnant.
Tommy and Pam style. Fitting tattoos. Yeah. Yeah. As many as your body can handle. guys got tattoos yeah that's one thing they really recommend when you're pregnant is tommy and pam
style getting tattoos yeah yeah as many as your body can handle did tommy and pam have a baby
do they or did they don't they have two yeah i think they had two kids i don't know i guess so
brandon was named tommy and lee tommy jr and lee jillian Brandon Aren't they? Oh yeah that's right How do I know that?
Dylan and Brandon
Are from 90210
They were big fans
They were more than
What it means
But I did a commercial
With Pam Anderson
Really?
The Labatt's Blue
Like recently?
No
Yeah in 1991
I think
That's not recently
No
It's recent to me
But that was before
Baywatch?
Oh yeah
This was her first
First big thing.
When she was discovered up at the, uh, the football game with the Blue Zone t-shirt.
Right.
And Labatt's Blue said, hey, we should do a commercial with her.
So was Pam, Christina Matysik.
You know, the two, the two cooking girls.
Oh yeah.
Uh, she used to be on, uh, Channel 13, do the news.
Right.
Yeah, Christina Matysik and, um, the shopping bags.
Right. Yeah. Right. Christina Matysik and the shopping bags. Right.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So the three of us did
a Labatt's Blue commercial
and Pam's done well since.
That like people
are discovered that way.
Right.
Some of you.
Yeah.
You just left that
hanging there.
Hey, I'm on the number one
podcast in the nation.
That's true.
And the number one
Saved by the Bell
tribute movie. Tribute movie
Tribute movie
Is that what it is
Oh no
I don't know what it is
But interestingly enough
At the end of the film
It goes to black
No spoilers
Mr. Belding died
And then it says
The end
Ellipsis
Ish
Ah yes
What do you take from that
I don't know
It opens up a whole bunch of stuff
I don't feel like that was
They didn't like
That wasn't a catchphrase from the show
No
No, but
Maybe
Is it a teaser for something else?
Oh, I don't know
I haven't actually read Dustin Diamond's book
Which is what it's based on, right?
It's loosely based on that
Because Dustin has come out just in the last week
To say that that book was a series of phone conversations to a ghostwriter who then just wrote whatever he wanted.
Oh.
I want to be a ghostwriter.
Yeah.
Well, you guys were ghosts at the CBC.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
We haunt the CBC.
Anyway, here's what's going on.
Go on, Dave.
Yeah, back to real life. Not my job. He's having a baby. I mean, I'm having the baby too. Anyway, here's what's going on with me. Yeah, back to real life.
Not much.
Abby's having a baby.
I mean, I'm having the baby, too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're going to be there.
Oh, yeah.
She's having it more than you are, but afterwards.
She's pregnant-er than I am.
Yeah.
But I'm there every step of the way.
Except now.
Well, no, yeah, I'm here.
Yeah.
She's with me in spirit.
But we, yeah, basically not doing much.
That's what's going on because, you know.
You've done the most important part already.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But her mother is now staying with us.
Her father will be joining her shortly.
And.
They won't need you soon.
Exactly.
Slowly edging you in. That's right.
That kid is here to replace you.
That's fine.
Dave has hammock plans.
Big hammock plans.
Exactly.
I've got all this paternity leave
and other people to do my job for me
as a father.
Yeah. Well, the baby's going to need to learn. I'm going to people to do my job for me as a father yeah yeah well
the baby's gonna need to learn i'm gonna have to do a lot of fathering are you going to i'm gonna
immediately discipline the child are you gonna smoke a cigar after the baby no why not because
i don't want to barf uh here's what i've been offered I can cut the cord Oh
This is the offer
That's on the table
I wrote down a number
Yeah
I have a number
On my head
Yeah
Do you get to
Pick your own scissors
Yep
Yep
They can be those
Craft scissors
Oh with the zig zag
Yeah
You can have the
Coolest belly button.
Make sure that's an Audi.
I want people to see it.
Oh, it will be an Audi for the first couple weeks.
Yeah, a real Audi, a weirdo Audi.
Abby's Innie has gone to almost an Audi.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's common.
Is it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it just started.
Okay.
When it fully is out Then you gotta rush it off
Yeah
Exactly
You hear a pop
Even if you're asleep
It wakes you up
In the middle of the night
Oh yeah
You were saying
That could happen tonight
Yeah
I'm drinking lemonade
Yep
Because I can't have any alcohol
Because I might
Have to drive at any point
I'm drinking for two
So
There'll be time
For alcohol afterwards
Right
And cigars
Oh no wait Why do. And cigars.
Oh, no, wait.
Why do you want cigars?
Because that's the old.
That's the old.
Like, I don't.
It's not like some people still do it.
I don't think anybody still does it. And then in the 90s, it was heroin.
It was heroin.
Oh, yeah.
Of course.
Yeah.
All those skinny babies.
Yeah.
And then in 2000, it was Molly.
Yeah.
Everybody did Molly. And then it came back to was Molly. Yeah, everybody did Molly.
And then it came back to cigars.
Ironically at first, but then
people got the taste for it.
Like the hipsters brought it back.
I feel like that would be
a reasonable thing.
We're making these
artisanal tobaccos and we're rolling
them in our bathtubs.
Gluten free. um yeah i don't the cigar is
just like it's an old-timey i love the smell of a cigar i don't i love the smell of a pipe i love
oh maybe you should have a pipe then yeah could that be the halfway the middle ground for you
okay yeah let's have a play do i to? I just want to smoke something Yeah okay
Oh gee
Is that true?
Like if I
Pass cigars around to people
Would you
As a recovering
Heroin and
Tobacco addict
Would you
Smoke a cigar?
I guess I would
Yeah
If it was
If everybody else
Was smoking the cigar
I think I would
But like
Don't they have bubblegum cigars
They hand out And they're fake cigars, chocolate cigars?
Well, licorice pipes.
Yeah.
I heard that we three kings of Orient are tried to light a rubber cigar.
It was loaded and exploded.
That doesn't sound...
Then what's the last line?
I know what the last line is.
Something, something.
Yeah.
They really went far.
The U.S. drug czar are yep uh we're on to banana number
four yep potassium is at an all-time high when did you discover opening them from the bottom
i was in high school uh-huh and there was a chinese guy living in our basement okay
a tale as old as time It's a typical story
Yeah
No my
We had a big house
And my parents rented out
The suite downstairs
To these
These fellas
And I used to see him
Eat his banana like that
And I asked him
Why do you do that
And he said
Because then you have a handle
And I thought
Makes sense
And you don't have to deal
With the seed
Yeah
At the bottom
You know
This is
It's too
It's too good
It's I can't believe I've gone this far without, you know what I mean?
It's a life hack.
It's like when somebody showed me how to do.
It's a life hack.
Avocado pit with the knife.
Uh-huh.
Because he saw me just struggling with this pit and he's like, oh no, this is how you
do it.
Chop.
Yeah.
Nobody, how else?
And the pomegranate.
I don't know.
How do you do a pomegranate?
I learned how to de-seed a pomegranate I want to learn how to deseed a pomegranate
You put it under water
No
Cut it in half
You have to be in space
Cut it in half
And then you have the
The severed part
Facing your palm
Uh huh
Up in your fingertips
Then you take a wooden spoon
And start bashing it on top
All the seeds fall out
It takes
It takes
30 seconds
Man
This has been
Fruit wise this has been so It takes a lifetime To Man, this has been, fruit-wise, this has been so.
It takes a lifetime to buy a pomegranate.
I've never in my life.
Yeah, Charlie Demers has that bit about it's never going to make the top 10 fruits.
Well, you have to Google how to open it.
Oh, what are the top 10 fruits?
Banana's got to be at the top.
Banana's there.
Yeah. For me. Yeah. Yeah. Is be at the top. Bananas there. Yeah.
For me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is there anything in a banana?
Potassium.
Yeah.
But like, do you need that?
Look at my skin.
Do you need five potassiums?
I have beautiful skin.
You do have beautiful skin.
I know.
And have you ever seen a monkey with a pimple?
No.
See.
Wait.
Wait.
Memory banks.
No, no.
It's been great.
It's good for your brain.
Good for your hair. Your face. Good's been great. It's good for your brain, good for your hair, your face.
Good for your head.
It's good head food.
Yeah.
Good head food.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Yeah.
I mean, nothing's really going.
We went to the art gallery this past weekend.
Yeah.
Abby and her mother and myself.
We went to see that Douglas Copeland exhibition.
Yeah.
Now, you saw that.
Yeah.
And you said there was only one good thing in it.
And I can't remember.
I was going through it, and I was like, what was the one thing Graham said was good?
And it never came to me.
I liked the dressers.
Oh.
The dressers.
He had some cool furniture that I was like, yeah, I could see that actually being in my house.
Oh, okay.
There was a Terry Fox dresser. Oh, yeah, oh yeah with a leg yeah i thought that was pretty cool also the lego was
pretty cool but then the rest of it i was like yeah yeah there was a lot of like um i guess the
thing about like modern art whatever it is like is that what they call it i guess pop art it's like it really challenges you to like
find like to not make fun of it i like to yeah i would love to go on that trip with you guys
because there was on other floors of the museum there was stuff by like
you know the group of seven and like great painters and and yeah and then with like
stuff where you don't have to there's there's no it's not completely subjective you can objectively
say okay these people are good painters right even if this is the thousandth painting of workers in
a field right uh and then but then the the modern stuff more like, this is a super original idea, but it's total bullshit.
What, it's like they just like, it's a strip of red, a strip of black.
It would just be like one room, which is, they weren't even paintings.
They were just like phrases written, like printed onto the canvas.
Yeah.
Yeah, didn't Yoko Ono used to do that?
Yeah.
Is that how John Lennon met her?
Yeah.
She, didn't he, he defaced a piece of her art.
And she totally destroyed his.
And he like wrote up, why not?
Because I said so.
What about the head outside?
Well, there's a weird thing that we discussed on the podcast previously that we know a guy who did that concept in Vancouver before Douglas Copeland did it.
Yeah.
Wow.
How has this not come to light?
It has.
It's in the paper.
Oh.
Yeah.
So there.
Was this when I was in Texas or Mexico or something? Okay. Yeah. So there. Was this when I was in Texas or Mexico or something?
Okay.
Yeah, it was a thing in the paper, and he said, oh, you know, he said something like,
oh, where do, you know, who knows where ideas come from?
From your brain or from somebody else's brain.
Or from that guy over there.
Exactly.
That's where ideas come from.
Yeah.
I put some gum on it.
Yeah.
I did, too.
It smells great when you're right next to it.
But I touched another gum when I did.
I didn't like that.
Oh, yeah.
So if the listener doesn't know, there's a, outside of the art gallery here, I don't know
if it's going to be a permanent thing.
No, they're taking it down.
Good.
Douglas Copeland made this giant bust of his own face.
Yeah.
His own head.
And encouraged people to put their gum on it.
And it's called Gum Head. and it's covered in gum now on and the weird thing is there were like
some pieces of gum that weren't like uh weren't real like they were just enormous like okay that
looks like a big piece of gum or you know 10 000 pieces of gum stuck together and then stuck to his
oh so you think there was some like pre-gumming?
No, I feel like some people came along and
were like, I work at a gum factory.
I'm a gummeteer.
I walked by today.
I saw those.
Yeah.
What are those?
It's like even, it might even be Play-Doh or
something.
Yeah.
That's what it looks like to me.
They've got a couple of those.
And then at his forehead, it looks like there's
some sort
of floral arrangement
poked up between his eyes.
Oh.
Because I know it's coming down now.
Yeah.
It was still little bits of gum
when I stuck it in his ear.
Oh, you were part of the early work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was there before.
Before it got cool.
Yeah, before it really caught on.
No, no, no.
I went and took my gum off of it.
Oh, and they also took down the hobo reef there on Robson Street, right in front of the art gallery.
Now, what's a hobo reef?
You know, where they shut down part of Robson Street and put up all those funky wooden benches.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
They shut down the traffic for three months.
Every year they do like a different thing.
I've never heard it called a hobo reef.
Oh, that's from Damon Schritter, the mind of Damon Schritter.
It's part of any valuable ecosystem
to have a hobo
reef
to where hobos
get their sustenance
but at the
in the art exhibit
there's so much
stuff that's like
plastic and colorful
and like he uses
old toys
to make stuff
and I've never
there were a lot
of kids there
and I've never seen security guards at an art gallery working so hard.
Don't touch it, don't touch it.
No, you there.
No, no, quit running.
Well, and that was because there's one part of the gallery
where it's all shelves and toys against kind of a wooden backdrop,
and the person I went with was like like this just looks like your basement like this
just looks like they just sounds like salvation army yeah that's what it was it's like a couple
trips to the flea market and you know it's fun to look at but you know then you read the why it's
there and then you're like maybe if this was good, I wouldn't have to do so much reading.
Do you still give out those prizes?
I do.
Yeah.
Just this week, I gave away a T-Pain microphone that you sing into and it made you sound like T-Pain.
Just the most hilarious, obscure.
Yeah.
That you can find.
Good luck finding that on store shelves because I don't think they sell it anymore.
I feel like the listener might worry that I edited it out a bunch in the middle.
But no, we really went from an art gallery to, do you still give away those prizes?
Well, because the way that he had described all the stuff at the art gallery reminded me of all those things.
Yeah, the weird things Graham gives away at his show. No, but it sounded like those long forgotten toys that you were giving away as gifts. Yeah. The weird things Graham gives away at his show. No, but it sounded like those long forgotten
toys that you were giving away as gifts.
Yeah.
These people turned into high art.
I know, exactly.
And he's probably all the, he's probably all the
better for it.
He's probably making, raking in all that Canadian
art dough.
Whereas you are stuck in some guy's basement.
Yeah.
Just collecting whatever.
Yeah.
Brick a brick.
What's up with you?
This weekend, I went on a crazy, I flew on Sunday to Guelph, Ontario.
Oh, yeah.
To do, my cousin goes to the University of Guelph.
On Sunday?
On Sunday, yeah.
Okay.
I flew in on Sunday morning because they're doing like an orientation week.
And my cousin works on like the orientation board.
And she said like, they were like, oh, we should hire a comedian.
She's like, my cousin's a comedian.
And so they all agreed, yeah, this would be great.
We'll bring him in.
And I was like, okay, you know, sounds good.
So I had to fly in on Sunday and then fly out on Monday morning.
Woof.
Were they surprised at the fact that you had to fly in from Vancouver for a 20-minute gig?
Yeah.
How much is this costing us?
Yeah, $20,000.
Graham's rate.
$20,000.
Graham's rate.
I wanted to do it because it's kind of like an interesting thing to go play at a university.
And so I got there.
Like, I have to fly there, get to the airport.
Then it's an hour drive from the airport to Guelph.
Were you in a hotel or a dorm?
I stayed at my cousin's place. Okay.
It was off campus. Off, off campus.
Uh,
off campus.
Cool.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
And we're on to banana number five.
Yeah.
Banana number five is being cracked.
Um,
so this is the ultimate banana.
Oh yeah.
We should have said the other one was the ultimate would have been good
um so it's in this big hall like a 30 foot ceiling type it's like an old church that's
been renovated to be like a lecture hall okay but it's basically still looks like a giant old church
okay but at least it's not a cafeteria no yeah exactly because
i was like i have no idea where i'm playing and uh so we get there and it's 20 minutes to when
the show's supposed to start nobody there my cousin's like this is my nightmare coming to life
like she starts kind of not freaking out but she's like this is i was worried this is it on campus it's on campus but it's so
you're okay you're you're you're doing comedy yeah how long is your set intended to be an hour
and you are uh uh did you see any ads around the campus as you were uh no did you see any
drunk people no because it was a dry campus dry orientation I know, but even if it's a dry orientation week.
I'm sure there were some drunkos around, but you weren't allowed to drink.
Like, they weren't allowed to sell drinks on campus.
Because, you know, everybody's 18.
What time of day is this?
This is 8.30, as I'm supposed to start.
I was a resident advisor at the University of Victoria.
Yeah.
Everyone was 18.
No one was allowed to drink.
Everybody.
Everyone.
They didn't sell alcohol on campus.
Everyone.
Made their own pruno.
No, everyone knew how to get it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
It's like it, you know, they had all these activities.
This is why there was nobody at the show 20 minutes before the show.
Because they were like, well, it turns out that this other activity that we scheduled at the same time, we didn't think anybody would go to this other activity.
But there's lineups around the block for it.
Oh, God.
And the other activity was something called Nerf War.
And I was like, well, of course.
What's the matter with you?
I was like, of course Nerf War is going to be more popular than anything.
What is that?
I don't even know what that is.
It was, they had an entire gym and you got, you were given a Nerf gun.
Well, I've never, I'm just imagining it.
Yeah, you're given a Nerf gun and I think goggles and then you just go crazy.
You're just shooting Nerf stuff all over the place.
Yeah, it's like paintball, but with Nerf.
Yeah.
So the greatest possible activity in the history of activities.
We bought a bunch of trampolines and mattresses.
Yeah, exactly.
No one's going to want to go.
We bought them as a joke.
We hand out magic mushrooms at the door.
So who showed up?
Eventually, like made an
announcement at nerf war like if you're if you're waiting in line at nerf war nerf war is going to
be on all night but there's a show happening right now so a bunch of people came over from nerf war
nerds yeah who couldn't get in and uh it was good they were a good crowd and it was fun to do um where did you how much time did
you spend talking about nerf war uh most of the beginning of the set it was like nerf war
and then i talked about uh what rhymes with turf war something they like they sent me an email that
was like if you talk if you say anything about sex you gotta counterbalance it by talking about consent or something.
I was like, well, I don't have any sex material.
But I did mention consent was cool after every joke.
Is this at a seminary or something?
Where are you doing this show?
This is universities.
They're very, you know.
They're very different than I was.
It's only comedy.
Yeah.
And then, so so it was good.
They were a good crowd, except the sound guy, I don't know why,
thought it would be cool to give me like an old-timey,
like a Frank Sinatra era microphone that was attached to the stand.
So I had to stand with the stand for the full hour, which was weird.
But you like old-timey stuff, I guess.
He knows that.
You seem like a guy who'd croon his jokes.
You're like the Michael Bublé of comedy.
So, yeah, it was like,
oh, I just couldn't believe it when they were like,
where is everybody?
And they're like, you're not going to believe it,
but Nerf War is super popular.
Yeah, people wanted to go to Nerf War.
So, yeah, and then I flew back. People wanted to go to nerf war so yeah and then i flew back people wanted
to go on the sex slide i mean we we just we needed an activity we didn't think anyone would show up
yeah and then i uh then i flew back the next morning and just i feel like i've been wonked
out ever since oh it's too much flying all back to back.
It's all the waiting, too.
It's the hardest part.
Tom Petty taught us that.
And then I got attitude from security.
Well, you got attitude to spare.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's what I'm known as, a rude dude with bad attitude.
One of the security ladies gave me guff because you know
like sometimes you're supposed to take your laptop out and put it in a separate bin uh all the time
yeah she said no no you're wasting you're wasting my time she said and i was like you're you're
wasting everybody's time i i'm wasting your time i had to put bottles in a plastic bag and she's
like no no you don't you just keep those in the bag.
And you just.
That drives me up the wall is when you're following the rules.
Yeah.
That are the rules everywhere.
Yeah.
And they're like, why would you have to take your shoes off?
Because you always have to take your shoes off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't make up this.
I'm not crazy.
When I flew through Calgary, I took off my shoes and they're like, oh, you don't have
to take those off.
Those don't have any metal in them.
Well, you're not scanning them for metal.
You're scanning them for whatever explosive shoe thing.
No, they've gone on to the next big thing, whatever that was, right?
It was liquids.
Yeah, liquids were big.
Now what's next?
Because they're getting rid of those scanners because they said that health violations.
And you can see, well, they said it violates every child.
Oh, yeah.
Nudity laws.
Like child pornography laws.
Of course.
Right?
Because you see them naked.
Right.
And then they did tests and you could put a gun on your hip and walk through it.
And it was never seen.
Whoops.
Yeah, well.
Well, you know, there's going to be some design flaws.
But not on a child's sexy, sexy hip.
But see, that's the thing.
They never took it down because of the child pornography. They took it down because, oh, you could, there's going to be some design flaws. But not on a child's sexy, sexy hip. But see, that's the thing. They never took it down because of the child pornography.
They took it down because, oh, you could get a gun through.
And they were like, well, most cool guys put their guns in the front or in the back.
That's right.
It's just the only nerds are putting them in the side these days.
And a nerd's not going to cause any problem.
Yeah.
So I just bought, when they did a 911, they did the original 911.
Yeah, I remember what day that was.
What did they use?
A box cutter.
Box cutters.
Yeah.
And that was the first time in my life I had ever heard the term box cutters.
And we've been ordering a lot of stuff online for the baby.
And we have all these boxes.
And I was like, I'm going to go out and buy box cutters.
And in my head, I was imagining them were like these you know special scissors that you get
just like a retractable knife yeah yeah i i've been i've seen those a million times in my life
i never knew they were called box cutters oh you have to work in a warehouse at some point
then you get well acquainted with this cutter oh yeah first you got to cut the hockey stick to fix the hockey stick.
Did they come in tubes?
What?
No, they just came bulk.
We would go to the rink and just buy them in a
pile and just drag them home.
I mean, we were living in a house that had
nearly a thousand hockey sticks poked around
everywhere.
It was ridiculous.
And he lived with a girl, right?
And she was like, Tom, we have to get these sticks out of the bedroom.
It's like they're lined up against the wall.
You knew what you were signing up for.
That's right.
It's me and my sticks, baby.
Yeah, so that's what I did.
I went across the country.
That's almost the farthest I've gone for a one-only gig.
The farthest I've gone is London.
I've gone to London.
England? Yep. Done one gig. Done one only gig. The farthest I've gone is London. I've gone to London. England?
Yep.
Done one gig.
Done one show and come back?
I stayed around for a couple of days, but yeah, that was a couple of years ago.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, during the London Olympics.
Yeah, and you wore that denim jumpsuit.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was hot.
Real hot.
Post that.
I have to notice of it somewhere.
Yeah.
Should we move on to Overheard?
Okay.
Bikini season.
Volleyball time.
Hot dogs and hamburgers.
Get ready to Olympic dive.
Fourth of July.
Are you ready for rollerblading rain time?
That's right.
It's Erin and Brian from Throwing Shade.
If you didn't know from that very clear intro.
We take a look at issues involving ladies and gays and we treat them with much less respect than they deserve.
So watch out, punks.
So, hey, download us and take us to the beach while you're doing your summertime fun.
Hi, my name is Ruchika Sherway, and I have a podcast called Song Explorer.
In each episode, a musician takes apart one of their songs, and piece by piece tells you the story of how it was made.
You get an inside look into the creative and technical process, and a unique view of a song by hearing just the drums
or just the guitars or say just a Wurlitzer piano.
If you're a fan of music, if you make music, or if you just like to learn how things are made,
come check it out on MaximumFun.org. Thanks.
Overheard.
Overheards.
A segment in which you, the listener, and us, the podcasters, go out in the world, listen to other people's goings on, and report back to you.
And we always like to start with the guest.
Now, we don't necessarily have to. We can start with Dave and me and then go back to you but if you're comfortable no i'll start because
i don't know what's gonna happen so oh wow let's just let's just i did actually hear this on
saturday night i was waiting at a crosswalk at cardero and georgia now this checks out
those street cross yeah you're allowed to cross and there were two young women in their 20s, and one girl said to the other, she said,
I don't know, I think it's going to be a weird wedding because she's already slept with his
brother.
And then they crossed.
Yeah, that is.
Does that mean like that girl's date, or does that mean the groom's brother, or is that
the wife?
Yeah, I think the wife is already, the bride's already slept with the groom's brother.
Yeah, so there's no temptation on that final, just before you go up the aisle.
You're allowed to have one last sex.
Something old, something new.
It's my brother, who you blew.
Toastmaster, Dave Shumka.
Yeah.
Start and end with a joke.
Wow.
Awful. Dave, do you have a... You know know i guess i do um i don't really though uh uh we're a little dry the last couple of weeks uh but what i do have is a misheard
okay well i said something uh the other day uh to my wife abby uh and she thought i said something else and well uh here goes
sounded something like uh we were watching tv and she wasn't paying attention to it and i was
and it said um uh if you have a long-lasting erection you should
seek medical help it was an ad for Viagra. I hope so.
And I said to her,
hey, you're going to have to seek medical help for these long-lasting erections. And she just looked at me and
was so confused by what I had just said.
And she said to me,
we haven't talked about this.
And she,
it turns out, she thought I had said a completely nonsense sentence,
which was, you're gonna
have to shake your glop for these
long-lasting erections.
We haven't talked about this.
Shake your glop? Shake what the kids are doing
Your glop
Shape it or shake it
Shake it with a K
Oh like a Polaroid picture
Oh that makes sense
Yeah I can see
Shake your glop
Yeah
Ladies
For these long lasting erections
Oh gross
Oh that's where babies come from
Yeah
Yeah
Mom and dad
Shook our glop Shook each other's glop Oh, that's where babies come from. Yeah. Yeah. Mom and dad shook our glock.
Shook each other's glock.
So, yeah, certainly not unoverheard at all.
No, but, you know, fun.
Under here.
Yeah.
Fun miscommunication.
Yeah, these are the foibles of marriage.
Yeah, yeah.
It could be a weekly comic strip.
Why not daily? No, no, no, weekly. Yeah, yeah. It could be a weekly comic strip. Mm-hmm. Why not daily?
No, no, no.
Weekly.
Save it up.
Like, look at what happened to Blondie.
They went daily.
Ran out of juice.
Oh, boy.
How many naps can this guy take?
Yeah.
Oh, it's a big sandwich.
Yeah.
Those are the two gags Blondie has.
Him napping and him eating a sandwich.
What's Blondie do?
Isn't she a stay-at-home wife?
Yeah.
Little mom?
He works.
So do they ever have a child, Pipsqueak?
He's Dagwood Bumstead.
Uh-huh.
And so she's Blondie Bumstead?
I guess.
Yeah, sure.
And then they have a kid, Sweet Pea.
Yeah.
Bam Bam. Bam Bam Bum Pea. Yeah. Bam Bam.
Bam Bam Bumstead.
Oh, Bam Bam Bumstead.
That's a good wrestler name.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
What are you over here?
Oh, no.
First we have to go through all the other comic strip babies.
And cartoon babies.
Oh, yeah.
There was Marvin.
Remember Marvin?
Oh, from the comic strip Marvin. Yeah, yeah. Oh was Marvin. Remember Marvin? Oh, from the comics. Marvin.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I was thinking of the Marvin Martian.
Oh, no.
He made me very angry.
He was a grown up.
Pretty good.
I guess that's it.
Yeah.
Pebbles.
Yeah.
There's the baby from the Roger Rabbit movie.
Yeah.
Baby Huey.
Baby Huey?
Oh, Baby Huey was a, yeah, he was the big duck, Baby Huey.
What?
He's like a big fat duck.
Yeah.
And he looked like.
I only recently learned about this.
Baby Herman is the.
Oh, baby, that's what I was thinking of.
Yeah.
Anyway.
That's all the babies.
Yeah, we did it.
That's all the babies that have ever been drawn.
Marvin was never funny.
And also he was like Garfield, where it was
like, can the adults
hear what he's saying?
Because, like, you never know if John
can hear what Garfield's thinking.
Because he's not speaking it, he's thinking it.
And Odie can't hear it. John can't hear him.
John can't hear him. No.
No one can hear Garfield but us.
Good Nermal could hear him, though.
I don't know.
Nermal was only in the TV show, I think.
He wasn't in the comic strip.
What about Odie?
Odie didn't speak anything.
No, but he could understand.
He didn't understand anything.
Yeah, he didn't do nothing for nothing.
He didn't react to anything.
No, he just got kicked off of the counter or whatever. He was a two-dimensional character. Yeah. He didn't react to anything. No, he just got kicked off of the counter or whatever.
He was a two-dimensional character.
Yeah.
Now, Graham.
Yes.
Do you have an overheard?
I do.
Now, as we're recording this, there is a province-wide teacher strike.
Right.
And so kids were supposed to go back to school today.
Right.
We're recording this the day after Labor Day.
Yeah.
And so there was, and I remember because when I was a kid, the teachers went on strike in our province.
And I remember being on the kid side of this argument because the dad was trying to, to first of all these kids were all skateboarding
out in front of the house so they were having the greatest time this is a news story no no this is
this is across the street from my house i was waiting for a cab and these kids are skateboarding
out front and the dad is yelling out of the window like okay you gotta come you guys got to come in now, go to bed, because you got to get back into the cycle.
And they're like, no, we're cool.
And he just kept saying like,
no, but you never know when the teachers are going to go back to work.
And they're like, no, it's fine, we're fine, it's fine.
And they just kept saying, no, we're cool,
and then doing skateboard moves.
How old were they?
They were like, you know, eight or nine.
How many of them?
Three of them.
Oh, that's too many.
Yeah.
The dad was way, he was outmoded and he was outlogicked
because the kids knew they didn't have to go back to school.
I feel like my dad didn't have to do much to get us to listen to him.
Yeah.
I might be just remembering this completely wrong.
Yeah, probably.
But like we were, yeah.
We were never that, like I had two older sisters,
so I never really hung out with them either.
And my brother was much older.
Yeah.
So it was always my dad against me.
So my dad won.
Yeah.
But like, I feel like three boys.
Three boys, all skateboarding.
They can really just form a unit and be like, nope, dad, sorry.
Oh, I think the ratio for child rearing has got to be three to one adult.
Three adults.
Yeah, you've got to have three adults to one kid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have to outmaneuver them.
Even the little ones, like two-year-olds.
He couldn't get a thought in edgewise. Like they were cutting him off. No, yeah, yeah. You have to outmaneuver them. Even the little ones, like two-year-olds. He couldn't get a thought in edgewise.
They were cutting him off.
No, we're cool.
We're cool, Dad.
He's like, when have you been waking up?
And they're like, we're always up at eight.
We're always up at eight, Dad.
And he's like, that's not what I recall.
The nice dad giving them options.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
My era was like, get in the house.
Yeah.
Did you ever have a teacher strike when you were a youngster?
I don't know, probably.
I grew up in New Brunswick.
Okay.
We didn't have teachers.
We didn't even get days off of school when it snowed, right?
It just meant that we had to get up earlier to shovel the driveway.
Gross.
You know?
Gross hardship times.
Yeah.
No thanks.
In my day.
I like the softer times that I grew up in.
We were like, what was your dad's trump card that he could play?
Mine was always, they would either pretend to phone the next door neighbors, Mr. and
Mrs. Kaufman.
Dave, do you want to go live with Mildred Kaufman?
Okay, I'll come in the house.
Or.
What was so bad about Mildred Kaufman?
I never saw her in my life.
It was more just like...
It's not home.
Yeah, it was like, uh-oh, I don't want to live with this old lady.
Yeah.
Probably smokes like a chimney.
Because you know why?
Because I could see their chimney from my bedroom.
So I associated that.
But also they would pretendend to call Santa Claus
My dad would pick up the phone
Dial six numbers
And say Dave's not behaving
And then
Dave won't go to bed
Wow
That's pretty clever
Six numbers
Yeah
Yeah instead of seven
Well I'm a dumb kid
I don't know
But you knew six
You were counting
Well no I know
I know now
That he
They just dialed
That he wasn't calling
One of his old army buddies.
Yeah, I tried that on, we had my wife's aunt was staying with us and she has two kids.
And I tried that on them.
Oh, yeah, I was going to cancel Disney XD.
And they're like, you're not really doing it.
But later they were like, did he really do it?
Was that a real phone call
because you could if with a cell phone it doesn't matter how many numbers you push
and also kids don't even kids don't even know what a phone call is these days
what was uh brent but always talked about his mom and the like threat that he that she would make
was uh don't make me come upstairs because if I'm coming up there,
I'm not coming alone.
I'm not coming empty-handed.
I'm not coming empty-handed.
Yeah.
And so it was just left
to your kid's crazy imagination
what she would be coming up with.
Oh, that's good.
That's right.
I'm not coming up empty-handed.
And then she comes up with like,
pizza.
Oh, you let your imagination
get the best of you.
Now, we also have overheards that have been sent in by people all over the country, all over North America, all over the world.
If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org.
And this first one comes from Richard M. in Williston, Vermont.
in Williston, Vermont.
My boss starts almost every conversation with an employee with a sarcastic, hey, loser.
She says it jokingly, but it never feels very appropriate.
The other day, she approached an associate
who had been out for a few days following a death in the family.
She began with her typical
greeting and seemed to realize this was not the right time midway through but it was too late
she blurted out hey loser sorry to hear about your grandpa
oh that's wonderful yeah come on here let me give you a noogie.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Can you imagine?
Like, because you can't say stop doing that to your boss.
Like, if that's your boss. Yeah, you can.
These days?
Yeah.
You can say it to your dad.
That's true.
We don't have.
Yeah.
You can call your dad loser.
That's true.
You can call your dad loser.
But yeah, I guess as far as
mean terms of endearment,
I don't know. Do you have any?
Does anyone call you a loser?
No, but I worked
on a show once
and what was
the guy's greeting when he came into the
writer's room? It was like, Hey, fuckos, guess who hates you?
Something like that.
That's fun.
Yeah.
No, I don't.
Oh, you know what I'll do?
One of my favorite old, it's an old standby, is if a group of guys are in a room, I'll walk in and call them old ladies.
Oh, ladies. That kind of never gets old. It's an old standby Is if a group of guys Are in a room I'll walk in And call them old ladies Oh yeah
Ladies
Yeah
That kind of never gets old
Oh is it
Uh
Uh
Poindexter and
Marshall
What's the name of the dog
Of a kid
Peabody and Sherman
Poindexter and Marshall
That sounds like
A clothing company
But it's funny.
We both knew what he was talking about.
Exactly what you meant.
Does one of them call the other one dum-dum?
Oh, no.
Or is that from something else?
Yeah, dum-dum.
That is from something.
What is that from?
Oh, we'll get to the bottom of it.
Oh, dum-dum.
This next one comes from Christopher, spelled very fancy with a K and two Fs, in Malmo?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Sweden.
The south of Sweden.
South of Sweden.
It's flooding there right now.
Is it really?
Hey, stay dry, Christopher.
Was it Christopher?
That's right.
This is an overseen that happened a few weeks ago.
I was taking the Copenhagen Metro.
Ever taken that?
It's beautiful.
Yeah.
No.
Okay.
Have you taken it?
No.
Okay.
But it sounds beautiful.
It does.
Doesn't it?
Uh, taking the Copenhagen Metro to school as usual.
And at the same stop as I get off is this hippie drug Haven community in Copenhagen,
where a lot of out of the ordinary people hang around
if you get my meaning do you get his meaning no I was watching Ken do jack off motions
you said the stop that I usually get off at oh I get it you guys all right okay say that again
where was he baby start again okay he's on the Copenhagen Metro. He's getting off in a druggy neighborhood.
A few stops before...
Oh, Dave finished the grapefruit juice
or lemonade or...
What was it?
Raspberry lemonade?
Just tell your story.
No way.
You guys keep distracting me.
A fellow passenger,
a few stops before this stop, a woman with a baby stroller got on,
and I only caught her out of the corner of my eye.
A fellow passenger started talking to her.
I couldn't hear exactly what they were talking about, but since I was listening to music,
I could tell they were on some standard cutesy baby talk.
As I got up to get off my stop, i found myself standing right in front of this woman
with the baby stroller also getting out and there in this big stroller was not a baby looking at me
but a large black cat and a very large dog just sitting in the stroller looking very ashamed
that's not a thing is it strollers for dogs and cats? No. Or is it? I mean, no.
But dogs, you can't keep a dog and a cat in the same stroller.
You're asking for...
All I ever see on the internet are pictures of dogs and cats like cuddling each other.
The internet's really challenging some of my...
How can you tell the ashamed look from the ordinary look from cats and dogs?
Dogs can look ashamed.
Yeah.
Like if you put a hat on a dog.
Or if you.
They're not like the kind of dog that likes wearing a hat.
Or doesn't go with what.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the wrong color.
He's an autumn.
He's wearing a white hat after Labor Day.
Grandpa, our dog, we used to take him, like he would get into the garbage while we were out of the house
And then we would
Bring him over to the garbage and show it to him
And he would like
His body would just like
Tense up and he would get so ashamed
And like he couldn't physically
Look up at us
He's just going through for the recycling that he missed
Yeah, yeah, he's conscientious
A Vancouver dog
I'm trying to save the environment.
For our children.
And our children's children.
I love the way Grandpa talks.
This last one comes from Sam C.
in Yonkers, New York.
That's famous from something, right?
Lost in Yonkers.
Yeah.
I was at a party, and toward the end of the night, when most people had already gone home,
there was an extremely drunk guy who was aimlessly stumbling around.
His girlfriend was trying to keep him under control.
The guy started wandering around the front yard, and before starting after him,
the girlfriend sighed and dejectedly said to herself
chase the monkey
her boyfriend's the monkey i guess so yeah she's the uh man in the big yellow hat
and her boyfriend is curious george any comment there five bananas I feel somewhat Deeply offended By that monkey Story
I overheard
A guy
Two Saturdays ago
Down on Granville Street
The main drag
Yeah
Drunk
Arguing with his girlfriend
As I approached
I could see them
And he said
If you break up with me
You're nothing but
A stupid whore
Whoa
But if you stay with me
You're a princess
Yeah
What
That's gotta be The worst argument I've ever heard Yeah To get a if you stay with me You're a princess Yeah What That's gotta be the worst
Argument I've ever heard
Yeah
To get a girl to stay with you
Probably works
Oh he seems nice
Well I don't wanna be
A stupid whore
Yeah
You don't know
The sensitive side of him
When he
When he says
Stupid whore to me
I would never be
With a stupid whore
And therefore
If you're not with me
You are
Yeah
One Have a banana man Calm down Yeah with a stupid whore and therefore if you're not with me you are yeah one
have a banana man
calm down
yeah
oh how was his skin
yeah
he looked a little rough
patchy
patchy you're right
combination skin
patchy skin
yeah
just patches of bone
and skin
and muscle
in different spots
yeah
like zombie skin
yeah
real patchy
hey
less brains more more bananas.
In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328, like these people have.
Hi, Dave and Graham and human guest.
True.
I'm drunk,
but it's not a drunk dial.
It's an overheard.
I mean,
uh,
Oh yeah.
I was in the bathroom of a club just now going to do bathroom meetings.
As I was doing my business,
I heard these two guys talking.
So the one guy was saying, yeah, man, I don't know.
I always have a hard time just going to the bathroom in these kind of places.
It's just, it's so public.
Like I was saying, yeah, I know what you're saying, man.
I just, me too.
I can't do my business like this.
The first guy says,
yeah,
I don't know.
I'm just,
it's like I'm the worst
beer in the world.
Yeah,
that's it.
Worst beer in the world.
Don't be so hard
on yourself, bro.
Oh, yeah,
I'm in Holland. That's,. Oh, I'm in Holland.
That's, yeah.
Oh, that was Diego in Holland.
Hi.
Bye.
Hi, Diego.
Oh, wow.
You seem fun.
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
This will put all our context.
My name's Diego in Holland.
That was a lot of upfront details.
Yeah.
I was in the bathroom and overheard these guys
saying.
Yeah.
It's a better story this way.
Well, the call about the cat and dog in the
stroller earlier, that had a lot of detail too.
Yeah.
Well, he told it three times as well.
It must be Europe.
Well, there's storytellers in Europe too.
That's right.
They're true storytellers.
But also, I think when you're a drunk guy, you, you know.
Yeah, you start laying on the unnecessary detail.
That was a good phone in from Holland.
He's going to look at his cell phone bill the next day.
$18 to Canada.
Worth it.
Chicago, wherever we are.
Yeah, we might be in Chicago.
Yeah, where are we, man?
There's 206.
Seattle.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Yeah, you got it.
Here is your next phone call.
Hello, Dave and Graham.
This is Joel calling from Pit Meadows for an overheard.
This took place at a music festival.
I was waiting in line to fill up my water
bottle, and a group of, I think, four girls and two guys came walking past me. And one
of the girls points in the distance and says, we're meeting them by the mini donuts cart
and uh
so one of the guys with them
goes mini donuts
min dons
and the other guy that was with them
goes sick of breathe
bro and then they high five
it is a sick of breathe
min dons? yeah yeah mindons for mini donuts um save your time
what festival do you think they were at uh i don't know was shambhala no it wasn't shambhala
oh you know nope it was the gathering of the jungle i like his impression of the girl
i thought that was everyone does a girl voice.
Yeah, that was a good girl voice.
This is my girl voice.
Ah, all the guys.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
She hasn't had her milkshake yet, that girl.
You're the girl from the bathroom wall.
The call for a good time.
Oh, Jenny.
Yeah.
Oh, Jenny.
867-5309.
Out sitting at New York Fry's.
Here's your final overheard.
Bobcat Goldthwait's sister.
Yeah, exactly.
Charlene Cat Goldthwait.
Caller number three.
Here's your final call.
Hi, Dan Graham.
This is Erin calling from North Carolina with an overheard.
I work at a grocery store, and yesterday we had a customer walk up to the register with his arm full of things,
and he sat them down at the end of the register and then turned to go back to the store and did a few more things.
And as he was walking away, he turned back to the cashier and said,
I'm coming back for that stuff. I'm like that guy from that movie. I'll be back.
Great. Thanks, guys. Love the show. The Wizard of Oz. I'm like, I'm also movie I'll be back right thanks guys love the show
the wizard of Oz
I'm like
I'm also gonna need
a bigger boat
yeah yeah
I wanna say
he was played
by an Australian
yeah yeah
he was the Terminator
getting groceries
yeah
um
yeah that's how he said it
um
I'll be back
just like Arnie did
exactly hasta la vista baby Yeah that's how he said it I'll be back Just like Arnie did Exactly
Hasta la vista baby
That was good
I like that one
They're making another
Terminator
Yeah
And so now
Arnold Schwarzenegger
I love your enthusiasm
On that one
He's 70
Ish
Isn't he?
60
Late 60s
Early 70s
Do you want to ask Siri?
Yeah.
How old is Arnold Schwarzenegger?
I don't know Arnold Karan.
She doesn't know how I said Schwarzenegger.
How old is Arnold for today?
She thought I said that.
Anyway, we'll never know um yeah but he well how did they explain away the uh the uh decaying yeah the natural aging process in their
terminators of a cyborg well doesn't it's just human skin that that covers the uh robot skeleton
yeah but you think they would put new human skin on it. No, it just has to be organic material to pass through the whatever time hole.
So they just grab any old skin out of the bin.
Well, it has to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Of course.
Or is it because that skin...
All the Terminators start wearing their skin baggy.
Yeah, that's the style of the time.
It's just style.
Style in the future.
We're going to be in style in 20 years, man.
Yeah.
I like your answer.
Just explain it away with one line.
Yeah.
In the future, there's a singularity.
And also, these robots think it's cool to wear their skin baggy
so all the bad guys
will just be old
it's just gonna be
the expendables
yeah that's true
well
that brings us
to the end of this
here episode
what?
yeah
oh man
that was great
do you have any
upcoming projects
anything that you
want to plug
you're on
you're on twitter you're on the internet.
Yes, I am.
I'm on Twitter at Ken Tremblett.
Two Ts.
Not Tremblay?
No.
You can pronounce it like that, but spell it Tremblett, E-L-E-T-T.
And I do have a movie coming out called My Life as a Dead Girl with Cassandra Serbo.
My Life as a Dead Girl with Cassandra Serbo.
And also I'm starting a new film, a German film,
next month that will air on German television only.
Oh, you play Herbelde.
Called Maple Bay Lodge.
And is it in German?
It will be in German.
They're going to dub my voice into German.
So I don't even know if I have to learn the lines.
That's very exciting. I can just put some peanut butter on the top of my mouth.
I'm just going to flap my gums until I hear cut.
Anyway.
All the great actors.
Yeah.
And I read for a commercial today.
Oh, well.
It's Vancouver film industry.
Yep, fingers crossed.
You're back.
You're acting.
You're back on the scene.
Are you afraid of being typecast as Mr. Belding?
Well, interestingly enough, Damon Schroeder said, you know, Dennis Haskins was Mr. Belding.
You are Mr. Belding.
Yeah.
He said, from here on in.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That's quite a heavy mantle.
You're the man from Belding.
Mm-hmm.
Exciting.
Do we have anything to plug?
October 2nd at the Biltmore Cabaret. Mm-hmm. Exciting. Do we have anything to plug? October 2nd at the Biltmore Cabaret.
Mm-hmm.
If those tickets are still on sale?
No.
It's got to be sold out by now.
They had better be, or I'm going to lose my house.
Yeah, if you like the show, head over to MaximumFun.org.
Check out the blog recap, pictures and videos pertaining to this episode.
Maybe a picture of that comic strip Marvin.
Oh yeah.
No one knew what you were talking about.
I did.
You know.
Yeah.
It was a baby.
It was in a diaper.
Yeah.
Did it have a safety pin in it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
Just one.
Yeah.
Just one.
How many safety pins do you need to, you'll, you'll know.
You'll figure it out.
Yeah.
What we're doing.
Old timey diapers.
Some people do.
Some people do cloth diapers.
Yeah, but they don't have the safety pins anymore.
They have little like elastic-y, like, what would you call them?
Like garter belt sort of.
Baby guards?
Yeah.
Like this is a weird sort of snap attachment.
Okay.
No safety pins anymore.
Maybe.
I guess they're not safe enough.
Yeah, that's true.
They were never that safe because if they came undone.
Because half of them were pin.
Yeah.
Because of that second word.
And if you like the show, please do tell your friends and come on back next week for another
episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. to yourself.