Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 340

Episode Date: September 23, 2014

No guest this week, as we talk overdue babies, Pumping Iron, and a devil statue.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 340 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's part man, part robot, all heart, Mr. Dave Shumka. Like, um, Robocop. Robocop's all heart?

Yeah, I think that was the poster. I thought it was this cop don't stop for donut. But his face was human, so he would still enjoy eating a donut. The rest of him would just be gears that would gear up and gunk up the donut. Like he was really attracted to other beings that only you could see their chin, like Catwoman. Yeah. Catwoman. Batman. He swung both ways. Darth Vader when chin, like Catwoman. Yeah. Catwoman, Batman.

He's one of them both ways. Darth Vader when he takes off his helmet. Sure. Who's the guy famous for having a giant chin? Brian Mulroney. Jay Leno. Yeah, Jay Leno. He led with it.

Jay Leno trying to put on a Spider-Man mask, but his chin just keeps poking out. Yeah, he's just got that on a loop on his computer. Well, he doesn't need a computer. He's a RoboCop. He's got a computer in his eye. I guess Spider-Man upside down kissing. Yeah, that would have been the most erotic thing for him. For RoboCop? Yeah, RoboCop.

That movie's aged very well. RoboCop has? Yeah. I haven't seen it i mean the remake from last year yeah you know what's aged really well dread yeah i uh i actually watched that movie and uh you know what i didn't feel the need ever to see dread's full face so they really theyredd has the chin thing too. Yeah. Well, I haven't seen the new one. I haven't seen the old one. But I know.

You never saw the one with Sylvester Stallone? Sylvester Stallone had his chin sticking out. Yeah, yeah. He was a real demolition man. Is he famous for having a cleft in his chin? No, I don't. I think he's famous for other things. Yeah, yeah.

That kind of thing. He talks like that. Yeah. And then he. He Yeah. And then he, he says, and then he runs up some steps, holds up his hands.

Hey, look at these. Feed books. Yeah, he, yeah, he's a good guy. You know who's famous for the cleft in the chin? The most famous cleft chin?

Chevy Chase? No. Oh. Travolta oh yeah totally yeah also christopher reeves didn't he have a big cleft in his chest it's singular reeve oh yeah no i mean the dance troupe oh the christopher reeves yeah um we don't have a guest today no in case In case the listener's wondering, why no speaky from the guest? Because there isn't one.

It's just us. Let me explain. Go ahead. My name's Dave, and if you're just joining us, I'm soon to be a father. In fact, the day we're recording this, the baby is three days overdue. And I'm going to need an episode to release that's easy to edit. And so two voices are easier than three. Yeah, that's true.

Makes sense. It all makes sense on paper. I like it. Let's get to know us. Get to know us. Now, Dave. Yeah. You're soon to be a father, which will make me your father-in-law.

Yep. So that's going to be exciting. It's going to be weird. which will make me your father-in-law yep so that's gonna be exciting it's gonna be weird yeah it'll be weird i guess well i do this podcast with my father-in-law i'll tell people and they'll be like i don't think that's right how do you mean like it's not morally right or yeah like you're opposed to it for some reason because you're uptight? Because it's a little awkward. What you should have said was, when I said I do a podcast with my father-in-law, you should have said, awkward. That would be a good name for it. Oh, yeah, the awkward cast. I'm sure that's probably the name of 80% of podcasts.

We're pretty awkward. Yeah. Then why are you hosting a podcast if you're so awkward why don't it's charming though why don't we do it because foibles um so uh what's new i mean i'll get well here's what's new um uh jack the ripper case solved Jack the Ripper case solved Turns out it was a Polish guy Yeah, crazy I can't think of a Polish first name Someone the Ripper

Yeah How many Jack the Rippers did it take to screw in a light bulb? Etc Just let me Google Google most popular Polish men's names I'll be right back Oh wow Got it

Here we go The most popular baby names For Polish babies 2012 Jacob with a Q That's a K Casper Casper with a Q That's a K Casper Casper with a C

Philip, Szymon, Jan, Michael These are all just human names But with a Polish twin Igor, Alexander With a K Wojtek, oh it was probably, yeah Wojtek the Ripper It's weird that they would investigate that murder

Well they didn't A writer did Yeah, yeahjtek the Ripper. It's weird that they would investigate that murder. Well, they didn't. A writer did. Yeah, yeah, I know, but it's not that compelling. I don't know. I went on the Jack the Ripper tour, and then I was like, oh, yeah, I mean, it's pretty interesting. Was it weird that the Jack the Ripper tour was in Warsaw? Uh, yeah. It was sort of, it was kind of a giveaway

uh it was also i don't know it's not that compelling of a mystery to me like it was just like when was it uh like 1800s 1800 and what early the early? I thought it was the late. Well, maybe. It would have been, you know, after the advent of like, not electric streetlights, but like street lamps. I thought you were going to say, instead of street lamps, strangling. It was after the advent of strangles. But, so it was a writer that figured this out? Like, did all the testing and stuff? I think he hired a DNA. I know he didn't do the testing yeah at his home i believe that's what it was wow yeah but now we know and now it's like i i don't know that guy yeah it's kind of like well now i think the most

compelling sort of rumor was that it was a royal yeah that it was a royal guy that had some his nose out of joint but also like prince harry you know his name's not even jack so that screws up the whole thing there's a whole industry in england based on it that's gonna be down the toilet now yeah you know because it's like it's never gonna be like i don't know they kind of even hint at like since we don't know who jack was, maybe he's still alive. He could still be out there. He could still be out there. 150 years later,

strangling prostitutes. Very feebly though. Yeah. Also, did he rip anyone? Or was he a strangler? No, yeah, he did all sorts of chopping. Oh, he did. He was a ripper.

He was a ripper. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. he did all sorts of chopping. Oh, he did. He was a ripper. He was a ripper. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. And what was it? Was it a stain on like a shawl or something? Of a victim. Right. And that had his blood on it.

His blood, I guess, yeah. Wow. And he was put away. Yes. He was institutionalized. Well, the system works. Yeah. You know, they didn't even know that he was guilty, and yet...

Just lock up everyone. Yeah, eventually. And then eventually, yeah, a broken clock is right twice a day. Yeah, that's the name of the book that this guy will write. A broken clock. Was Jack Ripper the first

serial killer? Is that what makes him so compelling? His name is not Jack Ripper like Jack Tripper. I thought it was Jack the Ripper. No, you said Jack Ripper. Jack T. Ripper, Jack Tripper. Was he the first serial killer? Was that the question on the table?

It was serial killer, not slurio killer. No, I don't think so. But he was like, you know, it's because they never, whatever, Scotland Yard couldn't figure it out. Oh, it's the one case they never cracked. Yeah, they said 100% solve it. They said, yeah. If they couldn't solve it, then they wouldn't take it on. They broke the first rule.

Don't never fall in love with a suspect. The whole yard was in love with this guy. It's, yeah, I don't know. Like, it's one of those things. Why do people like the episodes of this show that have guests? I don't know. Well, all we need is some recent news events and we're off like a shot. We're off just being misinformed.

Left and right. Yeah, I didn't even read the whole article oh i watched half a news story on mute which is the captain's coming up uh anyways you know what it is it's like uh i'll be watching tv or listening to the radio and uh they'll tease a story like you won't believe this thing that is blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah. After the break. And I'll just get out my phone and look it up.

Oh, yeah. Just out of spite for them doing that to me. You won't believe what celebrities are putting in their tacos. And you're like, yeah. Pico de Gallo. Yeah. Same thing everyone's putting in. Beats.

So, what is new? What's going on? What is new? Uh, baby is, uh, three days late. three three days late um abby is like nine months late uh i'm getting i'm trying to get nervous what hasn't she been telling you yeah stick around till the end of the show um but uh yeah like it's the 9th of September now. Uh, apparently most first babies are born between four and seven days late. I'm, I've been saying this for like a week.

I think the baby's going to be born on September 11th because it's a Patriot. Yeah. Happy anniversary. Mm-hmm. Um, but, uh, one thing. Oh, pardon me. just karate chopped yourself um uh well there's a couple things going on pregnancy wise okay uh you know how like women uh be shopping uh women yes i do know that uh women be getting cravings. Yeah. But Abby really hasn't.

Yeah, which is kind of, I got to say, a little bit disappointing. Because I was hoping for some crazy crossover. But I feel like it's impossible nowadays to get weird cravings because every product exists. Oh, good job. exists oh like every weird flavor combination is already a thing by some weird bacon brand or some like some you know pickle you can buy on the internet that's always the stereotype right is pickles and peanut butter or pickles and something always pickles yeah yeah uh and i never had a craving for i'll eat them but i've never like gone out of my way for a pickle yeah i like them too yeah oh if some pickles show up i'll eat them i'll eat them but i've never like gone out of my way for a pickle yeah i like them too

yeah oh if some pickles show up i'll eat them i might eat them first yeah oh absolutely i had some today they were great yeah i eat them every day i crave them i build my day around them the other day abby and her mother uh i got home and they had poured uh they bought a bag of chips and they poured them into this bowl So I couldn't see what Was on the label of these chips And they were like Dave have a chip And they were

They were cinnamon bun flavored Which seems like a good Pregnant lady craving But Abby had like four and she's like I'm over these I want a sweet chip. Sweet cinnamon sugar potato. Right. Yeah.

Well, cause like, yeah, you're right. Cause everything that, like if you wanted a sweet chip, then that exists already. There's already like chips that are sweet. There's chips that are ahoy. Oh yeah. She's, she's been drinking a lot of chocolate milk. I know that. She has been drinking.

I've been drinking a lot as well. It's delicious. Sympathy milk. But that's not... She drank a lot at the beginning of the pregnancy. We'll have her on in a few weeks. Yeah, sure. She'll explain everything.

Yeah, the myths about pregnancy. And the other thing is pregnancy wise. The other thing I've got going on is we have a car seat. Yeah. Oh, right. For the infant to sit in the car. And I was sort of like, we had it for about a week, maybe two before I even installed it in the car. I was just kind of like i was

intimidated by it because everyone i've talked to is like oh yeah it's really complicated like you can't they won't let you leave the hospital if your baby if your seat isn't installed correctly that doesn't seem right to me uh and like in some what nurse's job is it to go out and check people's cars uh and then in some places like you go to the police station and they install it for you. Oh, I like that. But it's like, that makes me feel like it's, oh, the most complicated thing ever. Like, you need these to be attached with handcuffs. Do I get to hold the cop's gun while he does this?

Oh, of course. You don't want it to fall out of his holster. Hold this for me. And my taser. And my riot gear. and hold me at gun point while i do it yeah it makes me go faster yeah i'll enjoy it it's my kink will you indulge my kink so a couple days ago uh i well the baby was one day overdue i finally installed it.

I installed it in about two minutes. Oh, nice. Like there's these anchors in the car and they just clip on and you tighten it and then everything else is super easy. Yeah. This is a modern world. Yeah. Um, but now I'm driving around with an empty, uh, car seat in the back of my. You should put a pumpkin in there.

Yeah. I need ideas of things to do with it. Because it's starting to feel like how much longer can I drive around with this thing without being becoming like, oh there's Crazy Dave. Oh yeah, yeah exactly. He's got an imaginary baby.

He's reliving his childhood in reverse. Oh see. Yeah. It would be crazier if i went in like went to the back and got an imaginary child out every time or or a watermelon do you think that people would let you get to the front of lines if you did that if they saw you getting out with an imaginary baby just out of sympathy sure yeah um or like well if if uh a car burglar someone's gonna break into a car would they be less likely to break into my car now they're like oh this person has a baby i don't know i think if you have a baby on board thing then definitely that but i think a lot of people will do we've got those stick figures. Oh, yeah. That'll work.

That's easier because that's international. You don't need to speak English so anybody can understand that. Yeah. That's why Jack the Ripper was so good at killing babies. What? What? He never did. Because he couldn't read the baby on important signs?

What would they have been on board back then? This was an unfortunate callback. Most unfortunate. The baby seats. Now, this is something I don't know anything about, except that when, not even that long ago, like five years ago, six years ago, baby faced forward. Baby faced the producer. Yeah. And now baby faces backwards

yeah you get it baby's going back in time um but it flips right well it's so the baby can help you No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You got womb. You got womb. Pretty good. Yeah, it flips, I think, at a year. You flip them forward. And then... Put your thing down, flip it in reverse. And all of a sudden, they're driving you. And what is this?

Communist Russia? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cat's in the cradle. In Russia, the cradle's in the cradle uh in russia the cradle of the cat um so you installed it like that yeah magic install click click so then you had a whole afternoon i know it really was that it was like i like it was a hot day and i was like okay the car is hot i'm gonna go actually move the car into the shade because i'm gonna be here a while yeah and then done that was it and then just listen to some uh radio yeah i basically spent the the

rest of the afternoon making mashups yeah doing drum solos on the on your uh steering wheel oh yeah no i had to stay in the car yeah yeah yeah i had to make everyone think that was in the car for a long time yeah because this was this was the only chance you were going to get for some escape. Respite. Yeah. So, good for you. We got a seat in. That'll be fun.

Yeah. Let's see. What else is going on? I don't know. I feel like on these You and Me shows, we have to come with like five get to know us's. Do you remember a few weeks ago i uh lied about seeing a movie uh yeah it was the one about nfl day or whatever yeah it was called nfl day was it called draft day it was about the day that the nfl has a birthday it was called draft day

yeah well good news good news everybody i finally saw draft day. Yeah. Well, good news. Good news. Everybody. I finally saw draft day. Tell me all about it. Okay. What do you remember about the plot that I made up? It's okay.

If you don't remember anything, because I don't remember what I said. I don't remember either. I just remember that it's Kevin Costner and it's his last day on the job. First day on the job. One of the two. And he falls in love with a mannequin. Turns out she's living and breathing, but only to him.

But she's going to be the number one draft pick. Yeah, she can really kick a field goal. Can you do that? Can you draft anything you want? Just like as a disrespect to all the players you think are garbage, you're like, for our last pick in the draft, we take

a 1992 Toyota Tercel. Yeah, I don't know. You don't? No. You can't. But draft day, I don't know. You don't? No. You can't. But Draft Day, I think, let me just, this is without seeing the movie. Uh-huh. But it seems like that it's not as interesting as people who are, like the people who are into it are really into it.

And the rest of the world, there's no crossover. There's no entry point on draft day. Well, let me educate you. Yeah, please. You're 100% wrong. It's interesting to everyone. There's something in there for everybody. Yeah, there's a love story.

Okay. There's jokes. Oh, good. There's action. Who's the comic relief in it not kevin costner um who is the comic relief oh i guess probably frank langela whoa low low uh comic relief what because like you know in moneyball you've got your jonah hill in there making funny expressions no no frank langela is funny didn't you say frost n Moneyball, you've got your Jonah Hill in there making funny expressions. No, no, Frank Langella's funny.

Is he? Didn't you see Frost Nixon? Oh, yeah, you're right. He was funny in that. Yeah, he made fun of Michael Sheen's loafers. That is pretty good. And also, he was in a movie where he played with a robot. Robot and Frank, wasn't that him?

Sure. Robot and Frank Langella, an autobiography. Documentary. Docum biography. Docum biography. that him sure robot and frank langela an autobiography documentary documentary biography so kevin costner uh-huh he is the queen of the nfl and this is his debutante ball well it was funny when when i lied about seeing the movie because i had to make up a believable story. Yeah. But now having seen Draft Day, I can take liberty.

Yeah, that's true. No one's going to call me on it. Kevin Costner. Is he the head of a football team? He is the head and shoulders of a shampoo company. He's in charge of the Cleveland Browns. And they have the number seven draft spot. Woof. Uh, and then they, uh, he trades it for the number one draft spot.

Oh, also, uh, he just got his, uh, uh, assistant general manager pregnant. Oh, did he really? Played by Jennifer Garner. Now, how does one trade the number seven draft spot for the number one draft spot? Do you just go over to the guy who doesn't know what he's doing and just say seven is more? Maybe he traded two draft spots.

Oh, okay. Maybe he's like, here's number seven and next year's first round one in exchange for number one. Oh, okay. And then everyone got mad at him. The whole team. Frank Lange frank langella who's the owner of the team oh he believes in him yeah no he doesn't believe in him but he wants that number one spot he wants to make a big splash oh i see okay oh god this movie's not good to talk about but i did see it so might as well chat about it Yeah Oh, we're gonna continue?

Okay, so Dennis Leary shows up and he He has things he wants Oh yeah? Is he wisecracking? Is he wisecracking a little bit? Uh, nope, he's not, you'd think he'd be the comic relief Yeah! Nope

He takes himself, uh, he thinks he's an actor He does Kind of think he's an actor, right? Except when he's on talk shows. Then he's best friends with the host. I've never seen that. Oh, he's always like, hey, I've known Jon Stewart forever. Hey, Dave Letterman.

Hey, noogies. Oh, if anybody noogied David Letterman. That toupee would come off. No, somebody told me that he had an implant done oh okay and i've always thought it was a toupee well he always says he has a toupee but he says it as a joke but because it's not it's clearly not his hairline but it's also not like a lush no they've done a realistic yeah it's not like a you know i hear the same about chris elliott like he's got just a believable hairpiece maybe kevin nealon oh yeah i've heard that the story about the basketball

game yeah yeah it's hard to say who that was i don't know it could have been i don't know like i if i if i because i'm gonna i'm gonna bald eventually. I wouldn't not wear a hairpiece if I thought I could get away with it. And the problem is like the ridiculous, like, uh, you know, like over the top left work on Friday with, uh, uh, one hairline showed up with a much lower hairline on Monday. Well, it's the Jeremy Piven syndrome, right? He was, he was completely, he was as far gone as you can go. And then all of a sudden he has a full head. He hugged it right out of his scalp.

But somehow people are, we're like, yeah, we're okay with this. We're okay with Jeremy Piven doing this. We're not going to make him an object of ridicule. Yeah, I guess that's what it is. It's like, I guess we're okay with it. Of course we're okay with it. What do we care what Jeremy Piven does with his head? That's true.

But why aren't we making fun of him? Yeah, it seems like... Like you would make, like, in the 80s. Or, like, people make fun of Donald Trump's hair. His hair is something else. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody told me that that was...

I think the reason he's a billionaire is because Jeremy Piven's paying him to keep his weird hair to take the uh all of his entourage dollars are being funneled right to donald trump yeah uh i don't i don't understand a lot about what donald trump is or how he works or so kevin costner's dad has died. Oh no! Played by Donald Trump. Who was the old general manager. His mother is a woman, a famous woman actress who I can't place. Sally Field. Yup. No? No. Anyway, they end up, he ends up passing on that, the first pick that everyone thought was the great guy.

Right. And then he picked the guy he really wanted and then he got his two picks back from seattle how i don't know like i honestly can't remember thinking back like mathematically did they invent another pick like there's another pick that just showed up at the last second. You guys forgot about this pick. A wild card. Anyway, he made a big splash. Yeah. And does it have like a postscript?

The Cleveland Browns went out to win the next seven Super Bowls. No, it's weird because it's a football movie with nearly no football in it. I don't know what's in it for a sports franchise. I love it. That's what's in it for a sports franchise. I love it. That's what's in it. No, to sign on as being the real team in a fictional movie about the team. You know what I mean? Like Major League or... But I think this was like made by the NFL, this movie.

Oh, really? Yeah. To get you excited about the next draft day? I think so. It came out around draft day because there's more and more of that wasn't there like a movie made by the marines or the merchant marine yeah it was called my lady fair lady um it wasn't there like act of valor was made by the actual marines or or yeah some some branch of the military did at the beginning

of this movie did it say this is an nfl film did it have like a logo where a guy kicks a ball and then it lands and turns into silver nfl films yes that's exactly what happened oh that's that didn't happen but uh it might have i i but like that's a wonderful imagining of what their logo oh yeah and their title card would be nfl films an nfl film what if they branched out and they made a romantic comedy next year no football in it at all nfl's first non-football related movie. Wasn't Forget Paris an NBA film? W-NBA. He was a, Billy Crystal was a referee.

Oh, yeah, he was. Yeah. Weird. Who's in that, Meg Ryan? Maybe. She was in everything. And then, nothing. Just overnight. She was in every. And then, nothing. Mm-hmm. Just overnight.

She was in every romantic comedy or every other romantic comedy. And then she just vanished. Remember that one with her and Matthew Broderick? Of course. Addicted to Love. Ah, yes. Where they spy on the guy. They end up being way creepy in that movie.

I didn't see it. But I remember in the trailer, the song they had was not Add to love the famous song might as well face it you're addicted to love it was this weird one that was like you're addicted to love i watched the trailer for 50 shades of gray why are you telling me more about addicted to love oh well i think the screenwriters that are addicted to love thought that the lead character's chemistry, which there was none, would somehow overcome the fact that they're like both stalking their exes, like very aggressively stalking. And it's like.

This was in the 90s. It was a high time for stalkers. It was a high time for stalkers. There was that video game on Sega Saturn. What? Stalker? Stockfighter. Stockfighter,

Stockfighter 2. I don't remember what it was called, but it was like night, night crawler, night prowler. What was the object of the game? To look, look at your ex-girlfriend?

No, it was like a home invasion. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Saturn No, it was like a home invasion. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Saturn. Sega Saturn was ahead of its time. Because now every game is home invasion.

I know, even Madden. Yeah, you break into John Madden's house. He's like, just take the trophies. Take the turducken. Oh, man. Yeah, but... Why don't I talk about Fifty oh because beyonce does a sexy version of one of her uh one of her songs like a slowed down sexy of her song or someone else's song

her song oh crazy in love yeah crazy in love but all all uh i think of that as jay-z's song but at the end of the trailer it says featuring, featuring a special version of this Beyonce song. I remember movies having that as the thing. Oh, yeah. Like, featuring a song by U2. And you're like, oh, boy. This movie must really be shit. They're clinging to a song that it has in it.

Which I can hear on the radio, probably. Because that's what they're going to do to promote it. Yeah. They're clinging to a song that it has in it. Which I can hear on the radio, probably. Because that's what they're going to do to promote it. Yeah. That Fifty Shades of Grey looks like a pile of crap. I know. I loved the book, but this, this I can't abide. Yeah. I don't know.

I haven't read the book, and I haven't seen the trailer. The trailer makes it like. Oh, I have seen the trailer. He's like, oh, I've got a, you know, I'm so mysterious. And she's like, Oh,

men don't really notice me. Yeah. Ho hum. Beautiful actress. Yeah. Yeah. I'm wearing a cardigan. Yeah.

I have a ponytail and a cardigan. Snooze fest. And then he's like, I see your inner beauty. It's on your face. Yeah. And then, you know, he's like, I see you're in your beauty. It's on your face. Yeah. And then, you know, he's like, oh, I've got a dark side or whatever he says to her. And then it's just like, you know, he puts a mask on or something.

Like, it's not like he's Batman or Jack the Ripper. He's just a guy who has a bunch of whips. That's, you know what I mean? So uncomfortable. Like, I'm going to go on opening day. I'm going to wear a costume. Yeah, just a greasy bathrobe. Hey, I'm dressed as a pervert.

Yeah. To see at the after party. Yeah, it's going to be all couples, right? I'll be the only dude just hanging out. Oh, I wonder if it'll be if there'll be like

groups of women who will go. Like, oh, we all read this in our book club. I'm going to wait until the theater is as packed as possible and there's a couple

that has one empty seat next to them and then I'm going to sit there. Okay. And ruin their sexy romantic time. And just eat like the sloppiest burrito throughout the whole movie

yeah i do i do that i just keep whispering that's me um so uh so you saw draft day yeah it's great um everyone see draft day yeah uh do it now it's the number one pick at the box office is what they could have said in an advertising campaign featuring the song giraffe day by Hoobastay. Featuring this song, I hate every, she hates me by Puddle of Moth. They just started advertising. Featuring a special, sexy, slowed down version of My Own Worst Enemy by Lit. Yeah, I'm pretty good. Yeah.

So, yeah. What's going on with you, my friend? Well, speaking of watching movies. You love it. I love watching movies. And I watched a movie the other night called Pumping Iron. With Arnold Schwarzenegger. With a young Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Where did you see this? It's on Netflix. Oh oh okay because i've thought i've heard other people talking about seeing it recently is it new on netflix new on netflix oh you have a netflix america yes and uh it is the craziest movie it's from the 70s 1975 and it's got arnold schegger. The Schwarz dog. His chief competitor for, he's going for his seventh Mr. Olympia title. Uh-huh. Is that not Mr. Universe? He, Mr. Universe is for amateurs. Oh, okay. He's a pro.

And so he won it so many times, and then he went pro, and then he won Mr.lympia so many times sure and his chief competitor in it is lou ferigno right and is he deaf at this point yeah he was deaf from uh he had an ear infection as a kid okay and so in your ears kids yeah right this was public service are you supposed to do you clean your ears q-tip they-tip? Mm-hmm They say not to So satisfying But what else are you gonna do? Yeah Candle yourself?

Yeah There's no way candling's better than sticking a Q-tip in your ear That seems You know Didn't somebody we know go for a candling? That's a candling I don't know, maybe i don't listen to the show so there's uh uh first of all the world of bodybuilding is like it's its own insanity well i know i read flex

magazine yeah you know their bodies back in 1975 were as big and giant as lived on Earth. Mm-hmm. And now they... They would be puny. They would be puny. And not, like, now people look super disgusting. Yeah. Oh, they didn't look disgusting.

Not really. They just looked like super muscly guys. Right. They didn't have veins popping. And it wasn't like that crazy thing where you can see the muscle yeah but you know they look like a you know cooked meat overcooked meat yeah like somebody i don't remember somebody from like some comedian or something that referred to arnold schwarzenegger looking like a condom full of walnuts which is kind of true like he just kind of is like a lumpy

yeah every just lumps everywhere and so it is i mean it's the greatest it's one of the greatest documentaries ever made is it because he smokes a doobie in it nope no doobie and oh is that something else i think that maybe is fun it's from same time period, but there's no doobie. Because David Letterman would sometimes show clips of that. Like through a clip, and it would be of Arnold Schwarzenegger. It would be of Arnold Schwarzenegger, like, dancing with women and, like, grabbing their boobs. Yeah, well, that's, that's, there's that. Oh, okay.

That's from the documentary, because there's every, he goes on, like, photo shoots, That's from the documentary because there's every, he goes on like photo shoots and they make women like go up on his shoulders and, you know. And his finger slips. My finger slipped. His accent has not gotten any less from back then to current day. Like it hasn't faded at all. He sounds exactly as he does now back then right so it's not like oh it eased over time or you know he was back then he didn't speak very much english good for him yeah he's exact same accent it's he's 100 charisma he is like made to be a star in that movie you can

see why he's going to be famous. It's not like the actors today who are like, hey, I'm British, but I'm going to have a flawless American accent. No. Yeah. You're just going to be Austrian in every movie. Yeah, exactly. And he, so, in the first 10 minutes, there's a scene, you know it shows him at working at the gym and then he first of all i guess in the 70s uh weightlifting pose offs were like a real thing to see or they would just do them on the street gangs of weightlifters he does one in a prison in the movie

is he incarcerated no he goes and like all the prisoners are standing around and then he like flexes and they kill or have sex with him they well they he makes it's constant gay jokes the whole time he's there and then afterwards to the prisoners okay not them to him yeah no back and forth okay and he just keeps going like he's he said he's gonna he said he's gonna kiss me or whatever. And then he laughs. He thinks it's hilarious because he could rip any of these guys' heads off. Right. But not all of them at once.

No, that's true. They really do. Swarm, swarm. And then afterwards, they interview a couple of the inmates. And they're just amazed at his muscles. Well, he's the muscles from Brussels, they call it. And I guess maybe that was their entertainment for the year yeah was seeing arnold schwarzenegger these other guys got johnny cash we got a whole album recorded at their prison oh boy uh yeah we watched the uh oily pose off

yeah was he by himself yep he Yep. Did he pose against them? Against the prisoners? Yeah. No, the prisoners just watched as he posed. So it's not a pose off if it's just one. It's like a pose exhibition game. To Arnold, everything was a pose off. Were there muscle men in prison? Oh, sure.

That's all you do all day. That's all I did when I was in the joint. Yeah, you did a lot of push-ups. You did a lot of pushups. You did a lot of core work. I did curls. Yep. I did pull-ups. Swirls.

I did swirls. Yeah. Thank heaven for little girls. You did, you did a big spoon, little spoon. Yep. I did, I had one of those things that was, it was like a, looks like a ball and chain but you just, it's a plastic thing and it counts how many times you skip over it

oh yeah, yeah, absolutely I had pound puppies I had wuzzles you had snorks so yeah, he goes and poses in prison which I was like oh well that's the craziest this movie's gonna get and it was the end exactly then they ask they ask him like or maybe they don't even

ask him they never show the interviewer asking the question they just show him answering him where he talks about what weight lifting is like for him and And he just, he keeps saying over and over again, it's like coming. He's like, he's like, so you just imagine my life is I wake up, I go to the gym, I'm coming all the time. I go home at night,

I'm coming. And he says, it's just the greatest, the greatest thing in the world. It's the greatest thing for you. I know I lifted weights before. It never felt like that. Well,

but it's also like, I mean, that just means it's over, right? Yeah, yeah. I lift weights, then I have to clean up. Yeah, then I nap, and then I'm so hungry all of a sudden. I die, I lift weights, I delete my browser history. I apologize to everybody. delete my browser history i apologize to everybody yeah so he uh that's what lifting weights does for was there anything is this pre like drugs pre weightlifting drugs steroids no this had to be that had to be at the same but they weren't as crazy as they got no no no like i imagine 70s

drugs are used yeah i use some kind of steroid or something but like he continues to or like he continued to well into the 80s oh yeah yeah yeah yeah because he's, like... And what's his face? Stallone. Still does. He uses, what's it called, that? The human growth hormone? Yeah. He uses hemo rage.

But isn't that, like, a thing that, you know, is considered, like, it's legal but not really? Yeah, I think it's, like, a controlled substance that... Like, you can use it, but you can't use it. If you're like, I feel like it's sort of like ecstasy or it's like, this is a party drug. Yeah. This is like, uh, it's everywhere,

but it's illegal. Yeah. Like you still shouldn't do it. I don't know. So he, I, by the way, please don't write us about that.

We have no idea. We don't care. No. I'll never know. So then, he... I'm taking that to my grave. My ignorance. It's great.

It's like, the documentary's great, and I won't say how it... How it ends. How it ends. He becomes a movie star. He does. And Lou Ferrigno becomes a Hulk. out and he becomes a movie star he does and lou ferigno becomes a hulk uh but uh at one point they interview him and he like he tells the interviewer that you know one of the guys he like acts like a mentor to one of the guys and he's like yeah so i can just give him bad advice

and it'll screw him up on the day of the competition like i'll just give him the wrong advice and uh i think that's exactly what he did. Oh. And he did the same for Lou Ferrigno. He's like, I'll buddy up to him, and then I'll fuck with his mind. And you're like, that's why Arnold Schwarzenegger is Arnold Schwarzenegger. And he's not a villain in the movie? No.

He's just like, he's the best. And then that's... He's just coming all the time. Yeah. It's just... That's in the first... Honest to God, that and the prison thing are in the first. Yeah. It's just that's in the first. Honest to God, that and the prison thing are in the first 10 minutes. And it's great.

It's just great. And it never gets in. Yeah. A full like hour and a half never gets dull for a second. You think it would pose offs and stuff. But I'd like to see a modern day one because those guys the guys now are fucking pretty grotesque yeah like these guys could just put on a t-shirt and then you'd be like that guy's a real muscly dude but now you couldn't those guys can't even wear t-shirts there's no t-shirt you keep pointing somewhere like there's yeah those guys you know who i'm

talking about guys yeah the flex magazine guys oh yeah like flexitron flexitron exactly like he's not gonna then go on and make movies like they're not gonna yeah yeah yeah uh flexitron to wardrobe uh we uh we have nothing for you yeah we're gonna put you in a giant diaper it's the only thing we have we have this novelty diaper you don't need a giant diaper they that's like the only piece of clothing they wear when they oh yeah when they pose a speedo and it's not a giant speedo by any means in fact yeah it's true and then the the oiling is hilarious like the oiling up and the de-oiling oh how do you de-oil oh lots dabbing dabbing everybody being dabbed with towels constantly gross it's pretty gross i mean the whole thing is kind of you know like what makes you a judge of

of that because none of the judges were muscly guys so are they just people like here's somebody who studied anatomy so yeah it's the uh like when they do the Westminster dog show it's like you can't tell there's 20 of the same breed of dog and one of them best

exemplifies the breed standard and this person judging is a person who's not a dog I would like to see muscle guys do the exact same uh the running around and the i'd like to see muscle guys judge dogs oh that'd be great and then dogs judge muscle guys you know i think cats are better at judging they're really good at judging yeah that's what cats do right um so yeah that's mostly what i did was i watched that that documentary is the greatest though that was 90 minutes and that's mostly what you did well like i mean you know the whole weekend who saw draft day

the whole weekend i was at the comedy club with ivan decker and you know, I was good. But nothing weird happened, you know? Nothing, um, pumping iron. Although, there was a, uh, an Austrian guy in the front row. Yeah, he was really muscly.

And the light kept bouncing off of his pecs. Yeah. And at the beginning of the show he buddied up to me and he gave me some advice about my last joke and it was terrible. Yeah he really fucked with my head yeah um yeah what's uh yeah it was fine there was a bachelorette party that was like really well behaved which never happens bachelorette parties come out to comedy clubs. To ruin them. Yeah, almost every weekend. And this girl was wearing like a sash, which you only get to do if you're a mayor or a bachelorette. Or a pageant winner.

Oh yeah, that's true. But not all the muscle guys don't get to wear those. No. Only lady pageants. At the end of the muscle competition, do they get to wear a crown or like carry around roses? No, they bring them a phone book and they have to rip it in half. A golden phone book. No, they don't give them anything. They just do it for the applause, man.

And I think they get like a million dollars or something. I think a billion. Yeah. Yeah, 1975, if you changed it. Yeah, it would be a trillion in today's dollars think a billion yeah yeah 1975 if you changed it yeah it would be a trillion in today's oh man 1975 dollars it is insane when you hear that like because you read a book from like the 1800s and you're like i don't know what any of this like they'll say oh four cents which translates to eight hundred thousand dollars in today's money. But even 70s and 80s money, it's gone up. Yeah.

Because in the 70s, we used penny farthers. And then... And they cost a penny and a farther? Then in the 80s, it was... A hay penny. A hay penny. I was going to say doubloons, but it was hay pennies. Yeah.

If you haven't got one of those... Go jump off a bridge. Yeah. If you haven't got a hay penny, then go jump off a bridge. So, this bachelorette party, well behaved. Yeah. Got my picture taken with them at the end of the night. At your request or theirs?

Yeah. I said to them, ladies don't leave before you have your picture taken with me, thus. I don't know. No. So you said I got my picture taken with them. What you mean is they got their picture taken with me. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true.

I did. Yeah. Yeah. I went to an autograph signing and Neil Diamond got his picture taken with me. Neil Diamond. I went to an autograph signing and Neil Diamond got his picture taken with me. Neil Diamond. He's too famous for an autograph signing. But also, like, what?

Like, would he be at some sort of fan expo like Comic-Con? Yeah. Neil Diamond's gonna boot himself. Oh, thanks anyway, Neil Diamond. I'm here for Thor. Oh, I always think about that. Like, uh, uh, what's her name? Zoe Saldana?

Zoe Saldeschanel. Yeah. She's been in two nerd franchises now. Uh-huh. Which one? Uh, Star Trek and Guardians of the Galaxy. Okay. So that's, she could just do that for the rest of her life is just go to things

and sign and take pictures with people but why would you want to i don't know i mean it beats working right no not if your job is uh starring in those movies yeah i guess i don't know like going on those things seems like a pretty easy gig. But those aren't low-budget movies. She probably made a lot of money off of them. So you think she's never going to do this? I never say never. Yeah. But you think it's beneath her?

It's sort of like it's not a... Isn't it weird? Do you have to pay to get your autograph? Do you have to pay to give your autograph i think you have to pay to give your autograph i think so i think people yeah you go and uh people like you pay to have your photo yeah like you know uh butch patrick oh yeah from the monsters yeah yeah i guess uh there's got to be a point where they're like well nobody is alive that when the monsters was on yeah sorry butch you're it you're the only person who's still alive everybody else is dead you're the only one who remembers what the monsters you think that'll happen with full house because uh the olsen twins were babies on it

yeah eventually they'll be the last surviving people who saw full house and they'll be they Do you think that'll happen with Full House because the Olsen twins were babies on it? Yeah, eventually. They'll be the last surviving people who saw Full House. And they'll be like. They saw it in a mirror. Yeah, they saw it imprinted on their brain. Yeah, I guess so. That's weird. Weird to think about.

They were talking about doing a remake of that. Of Full House? Yeah. Like, what do you mean with a reboot new cast yeah new cast we already reimagining it uh this one would be darker christopher nolan style reboot right here it is a it's got a bit of a batman element because all the girls their their mother died yeah because the joker in this in the reboot the joker is who killed the mother oh really yeah danny tanner is dedicated to hunting down the killer

and uh but he still has all the regular dad stuff now i what i heard happened was the batmobile lost a wheel and that's how the joker got away that would explain how the joker would have been able to run the batmobile it's the only time well i mean robin would have been able to outrun the Batmobile. It's the only time. Well, Robin would have caught up, but late night. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what else. Oh, yeah.

It was the thing in the news today. The greatest thing about. The devil statue? Yeah. That's the greatest. Yeah. Okay okay listener uh here's the news story that happened today uh someone no one knows who yeah banksy probably yeah uh put up a statue uh by a transit station yeah of a devil like a mannequin painted red yeah with giant horns giant horns and giving the devil horns with his hands and uh has a giant erection and the pictures of the the city workers taking

it down it's the greatest it's the greatest news story that ever was because these guys are just like it's the highlight of their day for sure uh-huh but also the low light yeah and there's no way that they didn't like when the reporters weren't around like touch each other with the devil yeah like there's no way that's not in somebody's office totally you know what i mean like it's uh that's gonna show up at the christmas party we're gonna play ring toss with it oh man i just i really envy whoever had the time and foresight to do that and it was in a weird place because it was it's a place that has like a basically it's where a statue used to be okay it's where a statue ought to be yeah it's a's a big, like, whatever you call it, a pedestal. There was a statue of Christopher Columbus, the movie director. And that it had been stolen.

Oh. So. Really? Yeah. That's what I read. Why did we have a statue of Christopher Columbus? I don't know. Because that's not a part of our heritage.

Yeah. It's not a part of our whole scene. Yeah. So it seems weird, right? Yeah, he didn't mean it was never here. No. Are you sure? That's what it said in the newspaper.

Now, that could be, because I thought it was weird. I was like, why? It's not a thing that we. I guess it's not far from the Italianian neighborhood where oh maybe there you go but wouldn't they there aren't there other italian explorers that did a better job than christopher i know that's buchi well of course uh leonardo donatello i don't remember the other two um splinter uh what i know one of them was a party dude they all kind of partied right yeah but not really they were teenagers they couldn't drink sure um not that you need a drink to party

but you need a you need a party to drink um Yeah, so I got my... It didn't get my picture taken. A bunch of bachelorettes have a picture with me that they won't remember who that was. Yeah, were they drunk? Were they drunks? Yeah, they were a bunch of... Alcoholics. Yeah, they were very drunk.

Okay. But that's what you do on your... I mean, drunk but well behaved very well behaved they were so excited when i talked to them on stage and said congrats like you know just who's celebrating something or whatever woo woo we are and they were so excited and then they but they behaved the rest of the night so quiet and well well behaved. But they're just going to have this picture of this dude. Yeah. Like, I'm not wearing a sash that says comedian.

Yeah. They're not going to know who it is. Or maybe they will. Maybe one of them will remember. But, yeah. Also, I feel like the girl was, like, pretty old to be doing. Okay. Like, not to be getting married, but to be doing the bachelorette

yeah anything like it's like yeah it's sort of a an immature it's like a thing that if you're gonna get married and you're like 23 or something but she was but you just went to your brother's bachelor party yeah and he's he's uh 28 that's a double standard it is true right yeah well women should be able to have bachelorette parties as late as men do men shouldn't have bachelorette parties though you know what that's not for me to say yeah let men let men be boys yeah um yeah i don't know it's all pretty grotesque i don't understand like what the you know what i mean like no it was it wasn't the old time thing like ah we'll take you out for one last night and then you get to have sex with a prostitute or something i don't think that's an old time thing well where did it get started this i don't know but i think people still do have sex with

prostitutes at bachelor parties yeah so but that's that's frowned upon in our society yeah i but i feel like i was i was shocked when i learned that that still happens because i was like you know that's what a prostitute is and you know you're about to get married to someone you've committed to. Like, you don't, this isn't a free pass, I don't think. But that's the weird thing is that do people think that it is? I think people think that it is, but I don't think women think it is. No, I know for a fact they do not. They're like, none of them went out trying to have sex with a comedian.

I'm getting married tomorrow. First of all, none of them do it the day before their wedding. Oh, no, they should, though. She gets married next week. Yeah, she's getting married tomorrow. She wants to have sex with a comedian. Do you know one? No, I'm just the host.

I'm not allowed to mingle with the comedians. uh no i'm just the host i'm not allowed to mingle with the comedians uh yeah because that's always been my understanding of of like marriage yeah but you get one you get one free pass before you say i do but like my understanding was uh as soon as you have a steady girlfriend, let alone a fiance, you're not having sex with other people, let alone prostitutes. But that's what I mean. It's like, what is the bachelor party then? What is it? Why is it? Because they're like one last night of freedom.

It's like, but you've been with this person for many years. Yeah. You probably live with them. Yeah. So like you, this is the acceptable level of freedom that you're comfortable with. So why, why this weird thing?

You know what I mean? Yeah. It's a weird tradition that's been held over. Yeah. I didn't have one, but that's just because I don't have any male friends. It would have just turned into a wedding shower Yeah Yeah

But like I don't have any male friends who were old enough to go out to clubs Yeah I'm friends with a lot of Scrappy teens Yeah that hockey team that you coach The court made me coach them yeah but you're doing a good job anyway oh yeah these kids they're uh they're our future you know what i think needs

there needs to be more movies where a uh cantankerous old man and a young child hang out and discover they kind of you know bring out the best in each other okay like what uh like it like mighty ducks like any of these movies there's no cantankerous old man isn't emilio estevez he's not an old man well yeah but he's cantankerous though he hates he hates everything that's not booze and 1990s ladies yeah when. When did Mighty Ducks come out? Less than 10 years after he played a high school student in Breakfast Club? I don't know. Like, oh, maybe eight years after that? Yeah. Eh, maybe you're right.

What about Bad News Bears? That guy, he's a cantankerous old man. Yeah, Billy Bob Thornton. Yeah. The classic version. The original. But yeah, I don't know like i guess it's just like an excuse to like hang out with your dudes yeah i guess it's a party for the sake of a party where you get to be the star yeah star of the party pretty good yeah people will get you drunk

for free i wonder if the whole having sex with prostitutes thing maybe that's a carryover from like arranged marriages or something um like it's like this is your last night uh have sex with somebody who's not the wife that we picked out for you yeah who's who has sex oh married men yeah married men single men yeah um i don't know who does yeah weirdos i wonder if there's anyone i know i do hang out with those children they do have a lot of money yeah they all pooled their money so one of them could have sex with a prostitute by the way when i was like 12 years old i and like the horniest i've ever been in my life and with no understanding of sex or relationships i just assumed that everyone did

like it was a it was like a regular oh yeah when i am older i definitely will it's like renting movies you're like as soon as i get it oh these people are people yeah it's i don't know i don't know anybody who does or at least nobody that's told me that does i feel like i probably have met people that like have you know mentioned it like it was no big deal yeah so we got uh so we went out we got a hooker you're like what stop your story or accelerate it and who's we uh we didn't have a lot of money so uh we all had to pool our money we also got a pizza um maybe i'll get a pizza tonight i got a pizza last night you shouldn't have pizza two nights in a row why not it's my bachelor party i can do whatever i want yeah if you're a bachelor

every day is a party that's kind of true you don't have any rules uh yeah yeah if you went to an actual bachelor party first of all all, where would you hold it? Not at anybody's house. Everything would be all dirty. So you'd have to rent a place. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A bachelor's bachelor party.

Like to a bachelor pad? No. No. Yeah, you can't. Gross. It's beds in there. There's a company in town. I don't know if they still exist, but when I used to listen to sports talk radio, they

would advertise on there called the bachelor plan what's that and it would be like sexy women in lingerie who would deal cards for you and your buddy and what is good about that i'm sure they have sex too oh well there you go it's the the The new thing in Vancouver, and it's an old thing elsewhere, is this company now that has, it's like the naked lady sushi. Yeah. I don't understand the appeal of that at all. I don't get it from a sushi enthusiast or somebody that likes naked ladies. Everybody loses in that. In that situation, if you're a fan of either or, you're going to be disappointed.

Yeah. You know what I like about sushi? The fact that it's not body temperature. Or hasn't touched anybody, you know, except for hands. Yeah. Preferably with plastic gloves on yeah but yeah like especially not anywhere anywhere on the human body is not what i think of when i'm eating any food even if it was a party sub oh no if it was a lady that just had a party sub on her then maybe yeah then maybe i'd be into it i can see why we usually have a guest

who's getting a little too uh maxim magazine but but you know with with a uh with a sexy yeah maxim magazine it was sponsored by Quiznos. But anyways, I don't understand why that's a thing. I don't understand who, like, if I showed up at a business lunch. Is that who orders naked lady sushi? Well, it's not, well, who has it? Like, who? Or is it a service or is it a restaurant? It's a, like, I don't think you get the lady and then you have to order sushi from another place.

I think it's an all-in-one. Right, but you don't go to a place where there's a naked lady. No, she comes to your place, I guess. Oh, maybe not. I don't know. So, has the sushi been prepared? Like, she's a 10-minute car ride away. The sushi was made 15 minutes ago.

Then she needs, like like 20 minutes of prep of putting it on her body yeah that's true so this is old sushi by the time well i mean i guess maybe they bring a they probably bring a bodyguard kevin costner yeah absolutely if i was gonna hire one person as my bodyguard it would be kevin costner uh i don't know i guess i don't know who puts the sushi on maybe it is a place that you go you know would be a good name for this uh for this podcast i don't know but anyways it's been like a big story in vancouver for some reason but it's been around and it's been like a thing like oh that's still it seems like a thing that shouldn't be happening anymore yeah i saw a headline that was

like outrage over naked sushi it was like this doesn't seem something to get outraged over no i mean you know saying you're outraged yeah maybe if they're you know you're serving it like if it's mandatory that you have to eat it or like they didn't have another food option at the party you went to. Like the government is using that for their luncheons. Or like you're on the subway and there's a naked sushi lady in the middle and you're like, I'm trying to get off. Or she's like, oh, I'm on my way to work. She's like one of those people that wear their uniforms on the train. She's like doing sushi all over. Yeah's that's what she can walk around with it like it's velcroed on

well because you know sometimes like you see somebody in there and they're like tim horton's outfit you want to know how long ago i wanted this segment i don't like 10 minutes uh but we would have we't, I feel like we really got into it, you know? We really uncovered some truth. That thing with the party stuff was pretty good. Yeah, we're going back to the well. Do you want to move on to overheard? Yes, I do.

I listen to Bullseye because each interview makes me really care about who the person is and what they're doing. I have never heard an interviewer so genuinely thanked by teaching every one of his subjects. Jesse does a fantastic job of really bringing people out and making them feel comfortable. You can really just feel a kinship. His interview with Vince Staples made me cry. Bullseye, your guide to what's good. From MaximumFun.org and NPR. I'm Jesse Thorne. I'm Jordan Morris. The federal government has millions of dollars in programs and opportunities that you

need to seize today. You're a taxpayer, right? Well, then you've got it coming. Thanks to Uncle Sam, you can get a pamphlet on grant programs for sinuous youngsters. Arts and crafts from a simpler time. Gingham, it's history and applications. Pleasure your wife. Yeah, that's the one I'm talking about. Swim dancing? Super revenge. Arnie Duncan teaches you to slam dunk. For all of this and more, drop us a line.

Jordan, Jesse, go. 1-2-3 iTunes Street or wherever you download podcasts. Overheard. Overheards. A segment in which we all and you all contribute by listening to people. You don't even have to listen. It's just sometimes these conversations happen right to your face. And then you just report them back back They defy you not to listen

I know You can try to stick your head in the sand But what are you? An emu? Or the other one? An ostrich? Yeah Or

How do ostriches do it? Do they Do they dig? Or do they find holes? Why do they do it? Are they looking for bugs? No they're ignorant Oh yeah that's true

A lot of racist ostriches Yeah they don't want to They don't want to They don't want to be educated. What do they call other birds? Shortnecks. Yeah. Real racist. Hey, shortneck.

Yeah. This is the way God made me. Whose song is that? This is the way God made me? Chantel Kraviazik. Ah, yes. She's my ace in the hole. In what regard?

Anytime I'm in trouble. I just bust out a Chantel Kraviazik track. I had a Chantel Kraviazik-themed bachelor party. Now, what would that entail? Well, we played all of her music. Yeah. And then we served drinks that were named after some of her songs. So you had?

The Wayne. What was her famous song? Uh, she did a cover of Leaving on a Jet Plane that was on the Armageddon soundtrack. Ah, that's what it is. Yeah, that's the song I'm thinking of. But did she have a famous song outside of that? Yeah, Wayne.

Okay. This is the way God made me. Oh, I gotta go through the crevice she's from winnipeg i believe is that the one where she's on the back of a truck playing piano yeah that was done in a lot of uh 90s singer-songwriter music videos let's just have the piano moving through the city streets yeah it's pretty good yeah it's not a bad idea unless you already saw it in a video yesterday like wait a minute. Would it be cooler if a piano was going through the forest, like, at the speed of, like, one of the Star Wars vehicles, you know? In the Ewok planet?

I don't know enough references to make this work. On Endor? Yeah, Endor. You know, they had those racers? What were those called? Speed? Speed racers What are those called Speed racers Speed racers Um Just let me just look up

She's a She has a Dissography You know she's married to Rain Maida Yeah still I think so Didn't she used to also

Be like a Spokesperson for a shampoo Yeah maybe She's got beautiful hair Yeah she does Uh how many of these songs Can you Uh

Sing Sing Okay God made me This is the way maybe she's got beautiful hair yeah she does uh how many of these songs can you uh sing okay god made me this is the way god made me yep a believer shrug i'm a believer yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm a believer believer yep by the monkeys uh wayne wayne wait for me take me up in your hot air balloon and wayne really hot air balloon oh this is i think is a bigger hit oh wait no uh well this is a bigger hit surrounded Surrounded. Oh, yeah. It's all around me. Yeah. All surrounded. You surround me like a circle in a hot air balloon.

Grevy as a queen. She's just got this weird preoccupation with hot air balloons. And Wayne. A song called Hands. Oh. No, that's the jewel damn it uh living on a jet plane yeah uh feels like home before you that is her her biggest hit ever really yeah huh i don't even know i don't know either that that jewel song is very silly my hands are small i know but they're not yours. They are my own. You know, she's a poet.

She's a published poet as well as the song's duress. For the longest time, I don't know if it still stands, she had the all-time best-selling poetry book ever. Was a book called Night Without Armor. Night spelled... With a K? No, with no K. Oh. Yeah, like a knight without armor.

Oh, wow. That's like unprotected sex. Yeah, it's about the time she had sex with Batman. Oh, that would make an amazing poetry book. Not with Bruce Wayne? No. He gives his mask on the whole time. Does Batman have like a fly?

Like if Batman ever has to pee? Oh, because he would have to take off that whole rubber and it's he just has it like down around his knees like the face part everything as far as i can tell it's one unit unless it's the adam west batman yeah no you're right it is it's all connected so yeah it would be very hard never thought about that yeah never thought about that till just like hoodie pajamas does he have a trap door and the bad guys whenever they see it they unbutton it and his butt's hanging out he doesn't wear any underwear no of course well you know what he probably doesn't have to go to the bathroom he's got such tremendous mind control oh true yeah Oh, true. Yeah. Like Criss Angel. Yeah. All of a sudden you've peed your pants.

And it's his pee. He's like, I think you'll... He's peed your pants. I'd freak out if somebody peed my pants. Yeah, I'd be very surprised. I just had an out-of-diaper experience Now, we usually start Overheards with a guest, but because there's no guest, we'll start with you Damn it You know I live here, I'm not a guest

Let's see, where is mine? Oh yeah, so the other day Abby and I were walking the dog in the early evening. I want to say seven o'clock. It doesn't matter. Not at all important to the story. Sure. And there was someone parallel parking their car just outside of a house. And then we heard a voice that had like a southern accent, which is weird because this isn't the south.

Yeah, that's true. And it was, I don't know who it was, but it was a guy with an authentic southern accent. Like what style of southern accent? Well, we'll do it for you. All right. I'm excited. And as the people got out of the car after parallel parking it, I overheard him say, I thought y'all had one of them self-parking cars.

That's a really nice Southern accent. Sounds like the way you did it. Yeah, I think I did it wrong. I don't know. I was definitely like a Ku Klux Klan member. Oh, no, the way that you did it was more like uh like a southern country lawyer yeah yeah the best kind of southerners are always a lawyer thanks a lot atticus finch uh it's true if i was if i was up on big charges i would go out of my way to hire a southern lawyer

simple southern lawyer now where i come from, I reckon. And just to give the big spiel, now, I haven't been paying attention to the DNA evidence. I just know my client. I come from a place where we take a man at his word. I just love the idea of a whole jury just being charmed. Like, oh, he was so charming. He does make a good point.

If you can't trust a convicted or an accused murderer, who can you trust? um my uh my overheard comes courtesy of now in the pool of unrelated facts to the overheard this lady had the craziest fake eyelashes i've ever seen on a oh were they like the kinds you put on a volkswagen beetle yeah like she i think she thought they were doing something for her but for me it looked looked like, uh, like a Betty Boop or like some kind of old timey cartoon with too big of eyelashes. I was like, it's not like female Bugs Bunny. Yes.

Yes. Um, that's a weird thing. Uh, where we're like, we were talking about Jeremy Piven and like, you know, men wearing toupees and stuff, but women,

first of all, be shopping. Well, absolutely. Maybe shop, and like, you know, men wearing toupees and stuff. But women, first of all, be shopping. Well, absolutely they be shopping. But like, no one seems to question that women will have fake eyelashes and fingernails. And hair extensions. Yeah. Yeah. That's a weird thing. I think that the only people who are questioning.

And women are like, come on, this is the one thing we get. I think the only people who question dudes that are getting the hair pieces and the things are other dudes. Right. I don't think that, I think ladies are fine with it. More, more good hairlines on men. They say yes. Sure. I imagine.

Right. Speaking on behalf of women. Right. You know, different hairlines for different folks. Sure. I imagine. Right. Speaking on behalf of women. Right. You know, different hairlines for different folks. Yeah. It's true. Do you want to see Jason Statham with a, you know, a junior executive haircut? Whenever he wears a wig in a movie, it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Same with Bruce Willis. Whenever I see them wearing a wig in a movie. Whenever I see them sharing a wig in a movie. Whenever I see them wearing a wig in a movie. Whenever I see them sharing a wig in a movie. Where it's obvious that they've just pulled it off and put it on the other guy. It's kind of askew. And in some scenes, they're in the same scene.

Just stand side by side. Yeah, they make it so that in the scene that it's raining, they're sharing an umbrella and a hairpiece. My overheard was from these ladies, ladies with the giant eyelashes. Multiple ladies. Yeah. They were talking back and forth. And the one lady was talking about her phone, her old phone that she used to own. She was like, she said, I dropped my phone and it was permanently on mute until I dropped it again.

That was such a fun phone. Yeah, I remember that phone. Yeah, it was a fun phone. That phone seems like your unreliable friend who's great to hang out with when he shows up. Yeah. Man, what a fun dude. I've never classified having a phone as fun. This phone's pretty fun. Well, yeah.

Yeah. It's an iPhone. It's an iPhone, and it's probably the most fun I've ever had with a phone. It takes pictures. You can go on the internet. We had a duck phone when I was a kid. And it went rank. Shaped like a duck?

Yeah, and it would quack when it rang. That is really fun. That is really fun. I had a clear phone. When it rang, you could see the little light in it. You could see all the parts. Oh, I had this phone I wanted so bad. And I think I got it for my 16th birthday.

It was clear, but it was just like, it was so thin. There were no parts really inside. And you dial it. And then when you put someone on hold, it plays a Mozart. Oh, really? To them? Yeah, but also to you, and also they're not on hold. And you can hear each other.

But you can just be like, I'm putting you on hold. It's so loud. Like, on the other end. It's deafening. That's really fun. Yeah. That is a fun phone. Good phone. Football phone from Sports Illustrated.

Sports Illustrated. I love SI. That was in the commercial for the football phone. It would just seem like a fun phone to have in, like, your office or your rumpus room. The hamburger phone from Juno. Oh, yeah. Totally fun phone. these are the best phones uh garfield phone do you remember garfield phone that it was his back you'd like uh and his eyes

would roll and be like oh it's friday but he he was actually happy because he hated mondays i don't know what does friday have to do with it nothing it's just another day of the week that he has an opinion on yeah cats don't notice days of weeks no garfield was not even a cat i don't think he was like you know how they said like hello kitty's not a cat no i don't know how they said that oh did you know that was like last week's dumb, dumb-o news item. The creator of Hello Kitty says that Hello Kitty is not a cat. It's just a drawing, everybody. If it was a cat, it would be dead by now.

It says that it's a teenage girl. Yeah. Anyways. Japan's weird. Go eat your naked sushi. that uh yeah anyways japan's weird it's like when the guy naked sushi it's like when the guy with your salary man gifts told everybody that it was pronounced jif and he was like no it's not no you're dumb yeah you're dumb you may have invented it but we think your pronunciation is gross yeah same with hello kitty we don't like this new interpretation but this belongs to us now

yeah hello kitty is free you made the worst mistake of your life. Now it's public domain. Now we also have overheards sent in to us. Oh boy. From all over the places. Nethers and ethers. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from James P.

In Portland, Oregon. This comes to us from Chantel K. She's all around us. She's surrounded like a circle. Oh, maybe that was about like, she was a, is there a song about a bank robbery where they're the cops show up? She's surrounded. Yeah,

I guess so. There's not as many good songs about crimes as there used to be. Yeah. Like Johnny Cash and his ilk would sing songs about crimes. Well, there was the Beyonce and Jay-Z had that Me and Your Boyfriend.

Oh! The Bonnie and Clyde 2000, et cetera. I take it back. Well, also there's tons of songs in the rap genre about, you know, hustling, selling drugs. What they used to do back before they were a rapper.

Them's is crime. Yeah. This is from, what did I say? James. I have two overheards. I'm only going to read one. Okay. From my recent stay in Napa, California. The first is from the earth day festivities in

downtown napa which happened on or around 420 that makes sense are you reading you're still back in april in terms of your overheard catching up i think this yeah um or may early may uh there Yeah. Or May. Early May. There was this guy, a true bro, dressed in a party shirt, you know, with skulls or flames or something. A silk. A faux silk. A faux silk, absolutely. A rayon. A rayon, yeah.

And his cell phone rang. He answered with, Joe's pool house, 8 speaking come on eight ball isn't that a thing that you sell heroin is that an eight yeah it's a drug amount but eight ball if you had to give yourself a nickname yeah pretty cool yeah you're the last thing in in uh pool you're a thing that people ask wait what was the name? It was Joe's Pool House Oh okay 8 Ball was speaking though But 8 Ball is a term from pool

Yeah Oh yeah yeah When he said pool house I assumed swimming pool house Yeah same here For some reason I just remember Dennis Leary On his um

Uh album No Cure for Cancer Yep Uh He had a whole bit about Getting an 8 Ball They never explained what the drug was oh yeah i was like 12 i was super horny for prostitutes

and did you think that the drug showed up in an eight ball like they drilled the hole oh i definitely assumed like it was visually it's an eight ball. Yeah. You shook it. Asked it questions. Yeah. Should I do drugs? Yeah. Yeah. Am I super high? I look cloudy. Oh, the eight ball's high too. Awesome.

This next one comes from a gentleman or lady. I don't know the... Lyndon? Is that a... Okay. A boy or a girl's name? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. It's definitely a boy or a girl's name yeah definitely yeah it's definitely a boy or a girl's name where are they from vancouver oh it's a boy's name all right linden oh right

uh i work at a popular vancouver tourist attraction and often families come to visit this mom and her gaggle of children were walking past me and I heard the following exchange. Son, to his sister, You're ugly. Mom, to her son, She looks like you, so that means you're ugly too. Thanks, Mom.

Yeah. Not for, uh... It wasn't like, uh... Hey, by the way, you're all beautiful. Yeah, yeah. No, you're all beautiful. Yeah, yeah. No, you're both right. You're both right. You got your father's face.

Uh, and he, uh, should be back from picking up cigarettes any day now. He just, uh, couldn't bear to look at you. If you didn't smoke, but you wanted to walk out on your family, what would you, would milk? I'm going to go pick up milk. Yeah. These are the things that i've all i've considered yeah um i'm all out of shotgun shells i uh yeah are you allowed if you want to like keep the house can you ask them to go for cigarettes then change the locks. Or just like... You know what I mean by go for cigarettes, right?

Yeah. Like, go and just keep going. Don't settle for the first low price you find. Search for the lowest priced cigarettes you could possibly find. Yeah. I don't know. It just feels like that was a thing. I don't...

You know, it's in pop culture somehow. Yeah. Dad went out for cigarettes and never came back. Yeah, but it was cigarettes. It was always cigarettes. It was never milk or something. I think it was sometimes milk. Sometimes milk?

Because at least that then paints the dad as the guy who's at least participating in the home duties. Yeah, sure. He's participating in the cereal meal. Yeah, exactly. Putting on participating in the cereal meal. Yeah, exactly. Putting on a saucer for the cat. These are the two things you can do with milk. Sure. You can bathe a woman with rose petals.

Oh, yeah. A lot of milk. If you saw a guy walking out of a 7-Eleven with like, you know, four of those big four liter jugs, that's what he's doing's gonna bathe in it or he's gonna bathe somebody uh also in that pumping iron thing they ask arnold schwarzenegger if he drinks milk and he's no i drink do you talk about anything else no i don't he says milk is for babies i drink drink beer, which doesn't sound right. As a bodybuilder, you wouldn't drink beer. You'd think that'd just be like bad fat calories.

Yeah, I don't know. When you're an athlete, though, you can drink all the beer you want. Yeah, you're not dieting. You're training. Yeah. Gotta be an athlete. Then I could just drink all the beer I want. This last one comes from Mike

from Boston. I was picking up my son from school and as we were walking through the parking lot to our car there was a mom and her two boys walking in front of us. Kid one, is it time yet? Kid two, yeah, is it time yet? The mom says, no boys time yet? Kid two, yeah, is it time yet? The mom says, no, boys, not yet.

A few seconds go by. Kid one, how about now? Is it time? Mom, no, not yet. Now they are right about to get in their car. Kid two, is it time now? The mom lets out a huge sigh and says, fine. The two boys then pull their pants up as high as they possibly can and start

running in circles around the car, yelling Steve Urkel time. Great. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Waiting for permission. Come on,

mom. How old are they? How far back are these silver hearts you're reading? Are they from 1992? Yeah. How do these kids know who steve is and i blame netflix yeah sure oh yeah you could you could raise your child on nothing but uh the same reruns you used to watch i would too i'd be like that i had to sit through this

crap and i'll do you say it like a threat. Yeah. And I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. If you kids don't behave, you're going to have to watch season, the whole season three of Family Matters. Yeah.

If you don't clean your room, then we are binge watching. Yeah, we're binge watching season one before Steve Urkel even shows up. Yeah. If you're good,

we can watch Empty Nest. Oh, I wonder if Empty Nest is on Netflix. I don't think so. I would have heard about that. You would have got a Google alert. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Empty Nest.

Huh. I wonder if it, well, a quick check will cure this. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328, like these people have. Hi, Dave and Graham and guests. This is Kevin from New Hampshire. I'm out on a run in the evening, and I was running across the Connecticut River. And as I was running across, it's like a really pretty night, and there's really like no one around, and then I suddenly hear behind me, over the river, like this guy going, no!

And I turn, and it's a water skier who like got pulled off from the water ski leash, and so he's now sinking into the water. And as the boat, she was driving off and shouting annoyed and, and he's thinking it was water. And right as he gets to, and I said, I've stopped at this point. And right as he gets to just his head above the water, he just yells,

keep running to me. I thought it was really funny. So I did, I kept running for being the good, funny show. You're welcome. So I did. I kept running. Thanks for being a good, funny show. You're welcome. Because he was like, oh, no, somebody's witnessing my worst moment. Get out of here.

I can't go anywhere. I'm fine. I'm fine. He called it a water ski leash. Yeah, I don't know what it would be called, though. No, but, you know, that implies that it's around his neck. Or around the boat's neck. Oh, that's true.

Like he's walking his boat. Yeah. When he said he was running across the thing, was he not saying that he was doing it at night? Like evening. But who's water skiing in the evening? I mean. Isn't that a daytime only? No, if it's still light out.

I guess. You're getting in that last ski of the day yeah i mean the sun's out till eight or nine in summertime yeah that's true yeah i've uh i mean water skied once and it was it was around noon yeah no i i've water skied once as well and didn't like it yeah i signed up for a week of water skiing at camp and I had to go to a water skiing session every day. The first day fell off of water skis. My trunk started getting pulled down. It didn't let go of the leash. So I just held onto it and got pulled by the boat with like, and no hand reaching down to my pants.

Yeah. They didn't fall off or anything, but was like oh what if they had then they would have just pulled you all the way around this lake without your pants yeah yeah um yeah that i had the uh exact reverse thing happened where my shorts somehow were uh all pushed up inside my asshole not necessarily i know but i couldn't think of other words for sure here's your next phone call hey guys this is liana in new york i just saw um a man talking to a young woman missionary and he was like smiling he was so happy to be talking to her and he was like flirting and he was like you're just all about religion aren't you bye yeah missionary just flirting with a missionary so what else do you are you a god again eh yeah cool name tag yeah

awesome tie cool necktie cool short sleeve shirt it really is the look for i mean a mormon missionary yeah i don't know that i've ever come across any other type of missionary i think in africa you would oh i think absolutely if i was in that but they wouldn't i don't think they'd wear that outfit no they'd probably wear a tan pant some sort of tan cargo yeah some sort of a sun you know yeah a pant zip off into short shirt shirt zip off did you ever have those pants no i did cool you zip them off and then i don't think i think that's a one-time deal you unzip them can you do they into shorts mode and then they stay in shorts the rest of their career yeah they never become pants again do they make them in more like increments uh more modules oh you mean like

long like a short into capri into jort into speedo yeah into short into short short yeah into speedo into are there any combinations that are like shorts with just the knees covered as well like a spot a gap in the middle like it's just got some wires that hang down yeah a knee covering, they have that. Okay, good. Alright, that settles that. And here's your final overheard of 2014. Hi, Dave Graham and possible guest. Nope. This is Scott from California and with an overheard,

I was in downtown Los Angeles visiting my brother and we were walking from a restaurant back to his apartment when two police motorcycles drove past and over the motorcycle speaker, one of the officers announced, skateboarding is not a crime, drove off.

And it was pretty weird because nobody was skateboarding or anything. I also wonder if those were really cops. Just a couple of guys who stole cop motorcycles? Yeah, yeah, because like cops don't... Wait, do motorcycles

have speakers? No. Yeah, that seems... But I think cop motorcycles might. Vroom. I am a... Pull over. That kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pull over would be a big one. Oh, yeah, I guess. But do they not have a thing that they speak into? Do they just have like ten phrases? Yeah, they have buttons on their console. Pull over. Skateboarding is not a crime. Motorcycles rule. Pull over. Skateboard against auto crime. Motorcycles rule.

Vroom. If you can read this, the bitch fell off. Do you know that celebrated Canadian talk show host Mike Bullard, that was his first job, was a motorcycle cop?

Can you believe it dave you lost me at celebrated some people celebrate them sure yeah sure i celebrate this entire catalog yeah uh open mic satellite radio show uh that weight loss commercial oh yeah phone some sort of cable phone commercial uh cable phone a book oh yeah the book um he was uh he was the the first and last ever late late night no canadian talk show host there's never been another what about ralphMurgy? Oh yeah, he was the first. I just think it's funny that you can say Ralph Ben-Murgy in Canada like it's a regular name. Yeah, and he was it. He was the big CBC... Charming man.

Yeah, they were going to make him the guy. Have Alan Thicke never had a late night talk show in Canada? Where was Thicke of the night on? I think in the States. Oh, okay. Pat Sajak also had his own show in the States. He's not Canadian, though. No, I know, but it just seemed like a crazy time anybody could have had a late night talk show.

Oh, yeah. It's weird that more people had weird shows back when there were only three channels. Yeah. Oh, man. that more more people had weird shows back when there were only three channels yeah oh man it's you can't even if a kid that's grown up has an ipad you can't communicate to them that there was a time when you only had 12 channels well i was listening to last week's episode a ken tremblet one and he was talking about someone who used to be on channel 13 it was like no one would know what that means like that doesn't translate at all anymore no like i like 13 on my cable package is something else like oh no i watch that in hd on channel 280 oh i don't i have an ipad yeah

yeah but there was a time when uh like i had a TV that had a knob on it. Do you have that? Yes, sir. So like, we're the last, that's it. That never existed. Did you have the two knobs? Yeah. Uh, normal and then UHF.

VHF and UHF. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. And that, those didn't do anything. There were no channels. You could spin it all the way around and it wouldn't do anything but yeah it's weird like you'd have to get up and like

move it or it would break off that's so dumb and you would have vice grips that you used yeah it seems impossible that that but then i when talked to my grandmother, she was still alive when you, if you lived in a house, somebody would deliver ice to your place and you would put it in an ice box. Not even a refrigerator. Not a refrigerator, a metal box that you actually, there was a dude on a horse, like had a horse drawn thing with blocks of ice. there was a dude on a horse like had a horse drawn thing with blocks of ice he would drag it with these tongs up you know like up wow yeah right and and now the ipads and all this fucking crazy shit you know yeah but imagine how like she was around before like even a computer existed. Yeah. Before refrigerators were a regular thing in a house. And now, you know, everybody's got eight refrigerators. And now you're like, ugh.

The worst is when an old person then wants an iPad. Yeah, you can't live in both times. Yeah. Go to the fridge. Oh, you know, you got so many fridges, but nothing in here. Nothing I want to eat. I could just stare in the fridge all night long. Anyways.

Anyways, this was, I feel like we waxed something. Yeah, I think. Kind of philosophical, nostalgic. Because would you do this when you would turn the knob? You would twist your arm all the way as far as you go to the left? You wouldn't. And then try to just crank it as far to the right? My kids will never know.

Their cranking power is going to be nothing. Anyways, I weep for the next generation. Yeah, good luck, everybody. Have fun living on that garbage island. All right. That's going to be most of the ocean by the time those kids grow up. Mm-hmm. And we'll be able to brag about the times that we were in the ocean.

Oh, boy. I got to tell you guys, we loved the ocean. Yeah, we went in it daily. We surfed in it. We threw our garbage in it. Dave and I regularly would water ski are you in the future are you talking about you're still talking about me yeah of course dave you were my greatest water skiing companion it's true we did uh we did two-man pyramid

um so that that brings us to the end of the show. I think. Sure does. We covered all the ground we needed to. Yeah. Uh, so by the time the next podcast comes out, presumably. Yeah. Uh. I'll be a father. You will be a father. The baby will be here.

And, uh. I mean, presumably. Uh. Maybe not. Abby, when Abby was born, she was 18 days late. Hmm. Uh. You think this is, uh think this is a genetic?

No, I think it's happening in the next 24 hours. Do you really? Do you actually have a feeling? I've said 9-11 for the last week, so that's where my money is. I don't have any money. Yeah, do you want to make this interest? Do you want to make this birth interest? Sure.

money yeah do you want to make this interest you want to make this birth interest um okay i'll i'll be very interested to see if it turns out 9-11 we'll see yeah we'll see um if you uh out there like the podcast you should head over to maximumfun.org. Check out all the other, uh, brother and sister podcasts of this podcast. So many to choose from. And, uh, the blog recap that Dave puts up each and every week, uh, pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. Yeah.

Uh, empty nest. Surely that Chantel Kraviasic. Yeah. One of the songs in the catalog. If not, you know what? I might put a playlist up. Oh, that's a good idea. Because she, well, it turns out she had a lot of hits.

Oh, yeah. Ralph Ben-Murgy. Yeah, yeah. Surely we talked about other, oh, Naked Sushi. Yep. The Rules of Naked Sushi. Pumping Iron. Frank Langella.

The Devil with a Wiener man it's so funny that it made me laugh like when i saw the picture of it it was so much funnier than the description could possibly anyways anyways we've had a lot of fun here today but there's one thing that's no fun lupus yeah so give to lupus yeah uh do the lupus ice bucket challenge oh you know what i never got ice bucket challenge oh i did did you yeah did you do it no i didn't i turned it down and i donated to something else oh good for you yeah i didn't uh i've never got challenged i did this is not i don't want uh challenge i'll just it... It's over, right? It's over. It's done. Right? Yeah. But, you know, don't.

Don't, because I'll just do the money. I won't make it fun for myself. So just don't. Oh, I don't. And, yeah, if you like the show, please tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. This one was weird.

Yeah, this one, if you were out on the dance floor and they played this, this is where you could get a drink. No, you dance all herky jerky laughing cause I'm lying you believe what's there to be true this is the way God made me so you can shove it up your ass to God alright So you can shove it up your ass To God It's like a huge

It's a huge insult song to the crowd After every refrain Go fuck yourselves This is the way God made me He made me lumpy and weird And put a patch of hair on my back I'm a condom full of walnuts. I have one ear

smaller than the other and my eye gravitates towards my nose. There we go. Overhearts. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

Listener supported.