Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 343 - Colt Cabana
Episode Date: October 13, 2014Colt Cabana returns to talk Newfoundland wrestling, Dr. Phil, and fancy drinks....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 343 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's generally an early riser, I would say, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah, even when I don't have to be at work, I set an alarm for like...
When I have to be at work at 9, I set an alarm for 6.30. When I don't need to be at work, I set an alarm for like, when I have to be at work at nine, I set an alarm for 630.
When I don't need to be at work, I set an alarm for 650.
Don't want to mess with my circadian rhythms.
Oh yeah.
But now with the baby and not being at work, just wake up when the baby wakes up.
Yeah.
But we are, we're recording this guy, this episode.
I call episodes guys.
Oh, not girls?
Some of them are girls.
Yeah.
But this one-
This one feels like a guy?
Oh, this one's a guy.
And we're recording it maybe the earliest we've ever recorded.
Yeah, 9.30 in the morning, Western Pacific time.
Yeah.
So, I mean, on the East Coast, this is a lunch hour cast.
Which is fine.
You've just eaten some brioche.
Yeah, I was eating some pastrami.
And our guest today, the host of the Art of Wrestling podcast, and a professional wrestler in his own right, Mr. Colt Cabana.
Hello.
Hello.
It's early.
Good morning.
Right? In Japan, it's 9.45 at night.
And let's just hit them all, right?
Yeah.
I like that.
Right.
So let's go over what.
You can call a car.
That's my girl.
Oh, yay.
Oh, yeah.
You call a ship a girl.
Podcast a guy.
Yeah.
A watch.
What do you call a watch?
Oh, boy. I mean, a group of watches is a murder. Yeah, that's guy. Yeah. A watch. What do you call a watch? A boy.
I mean, a group of watches is a murder.
Yeah, that's right.
And you just call one watch junior.
So it's early.
Yeah, it is early.
It's early.
It's like how morning crews do it.
I know, but they're, you know, they go to bed at 7 p.m.
Or in the afternoon, yeah.
You know, I recently just, I recently got booked to be on Man Cow.
Okay.
And then I unbooked myself.
Oh.
Yes.
Speaking of morning cruise, do you know of the Man Cow?
I've heard the name.
Oh, wait.
Let's get to know us.
Get to know us.
All right.
Tell us all about Man Cow.
Get to know us.
All right.
Tell us all about Mancow.
Well, Mancow is a staple in the morning, like Howard Stern era of just like bashing radio or whatever it might be.
Is it like... Aggressive.
Hey, boobs over here.
You take off your shirt.
Is it a national thing or a Midwest thing?
I think it was national in 1998.
And now I think it's chicago and like regional
like uh syndicated in like iowa and maybe nebraska and the guy was like uh the guy was
like all right come you're gonna come at this time whatever he's like get ready to be screwed with
and i was just like i don't think i want to do this and And then I just said, yeah, I think I'm over it. That's what we tell our guests.
Yeah.
We used to.
Yeah, it was.
I was Zany Graham and it was just called the clunk.
Yeah.
The clunk.
How, boy, like what, what kind of, how screwed with would you get?
Or do you not?
I don't even know.
Like, what would they be like?
Hey, what do your balls feel like
in that wrestling gown?
We're gonna give you
a home address out over the air.
Everyone
bring Molotov cocktails to
Colt's place. You know,
good natured stuff. Yeah.
It just didn't sound fun.
No. Right?
There's another guy that's like kind of of that era called like Bubba the
Love Sponge.
Bubba the Love Sponge who was, yeah, involved in wrestling for a bit too.
Oh, really?
And then a woman named the Amazing Kong.
What makes her so amazing?
Or so Kong-y.
She's something dogs chewed on?
She punched him in the face
and I think he lost
all credibility.
Wait, was he the one
who Hulk Hogan
had sex with his wife?
Full circle, guys.
Oh, wow.
On that video?
There you go.
Yes.
Yeah.
And then like,
you know,
the Opie and Anthony's
of the world.
Didn't he get one of them get fired or something Yes. Uh, yeah. Wow. And then like, you know, the Opie and Anthony's of the world. Sure.
Didn't he have, didn't he get one of them get fired or something for writing a tweet or something like that?
Yes.
Yeah.
Do you guys, is this all America stuff?
Yeah.
I mean, there are like, we don't have like shock jocks.
And we don't have your shock jocks.
I'd love to know Canadian shock jocks.
You guys are Canadian shock jocks shock i guess we are yeah yeah
we apologize profusely the guys who don't say please and thank you no that's not us
yeah there's only like the you know there's guys that do prank phone calls but they're very
benign like they're not you know is your refrigerator yeah it's that time going yeah
there was i remember last year i was driving uh in the morning and it was during the hockey
playoffs and they were calling the the uh they were they had like nicknames for all the teams
that were just gross it was like the the you know shit shit cago black cocks and i was like like what does all our shock jockeyness
have to be hockey related and and just kind of a pun yeah and poutine yeah a lot of a lot of uh
i mean everything in canada comes back to poutine yeah yeah when how old were you when you discovered
poutine graham uh Probably in my 20s.
Like, it wasn't a, oh, no, that's not true.
Because we went to Quebec when I was a kid.
And we had it.
But I didn't remember it as a thing.
Like, it wasn't, yeah.
The same thing with me.
Like, it was described to me when I went to Quebec when I was, like, eight.
Yeah.
And it was like, curds.
I don't like the.
Yeah.
Pass. Yeah. back when I was like eight and I was like, Kurds, I don't, I don't like the, I'm, you know, pass,
but it's now one of those things like Tim Hortons.
That is,
uh,
like we didn't have Tim Hortons here until the
nineties here in Vancouver.
Uh,
here in the studio.
And now you guys,
I can't believe I came in here.
We got a little,
uh,
Frank's over there making us donuts as we speak.
But there's a lot of things that are like Canadian staples that, you know, didn't exist across country.
Like staples.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, we don't have staples in Canada.
We've got.
Canadian staples.
Yeah, we've got Canadian staples, which is mostly just, it's paperclips.
And it's like a less aggressive staple.
Our paperclips are shaped like a maple leaf.
It's very inconvenient.
Tears the pages.
I can see it.
So I'm here in Vancouver, but I've been, I was telling you, I did a tour of Newfoundland.
I've like been all over Canada.
Our newest province.
Is that your newest one?
Yeah.
Oh, is that your Alaska to our America?
No, I don't know if it's our Alaska because it's still conjoined.
Oh.
Yeah, but they were the last to sign up.
Yeah, 1949.
To join in?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, Alaska was 1940-something, I think.
No.
They have so much in common.
No, Alaska was the 1800s, wasn't it?
No way.
Way.
Wait, to become a thing?
To become an American thing?
I thought Hawaii was the last one.
I think Alaska and Hawaii joined pretty late there in the 40s. Could be way off. a thing to become an american thing or to become hawaii was i think alaska and hawaii joined uh
pretty late there in the 40s could be way off yeah i think you're way off because of uh wasn't
the gold rush bet you a toonie well i mean well pearl harbor was 1941 wasn't it so it wasn't like
we just got hawaii and then they bombed it i when i was yeah that's right when i was in japan this
was one of the weirdest things ever i think think the guy, like the owner of the Japanese company took me to like the Pearl Harbor, uh, museum.
Right.
And I think he was like, you know, the American, you know, like he's like, Hey, let's show him some stuff.
And it's just like, I was in there and I just like, saw what pieces of shit that like all the American, I felt like the worst human being ever.
Oh yeah.
I guess. He's like, Hey. And he's like the worst human being ever. Oh yeah. I guess.
He's like,
Hey,
and he's like having a good time,
like taking me to these places.
And I was like,
Oh,
I'd like to leave now.
He's like,
do you want a picture?
He like took a picture of me.
Here's me and my people of what I've done
to you.
All right.
So I've,
I've looked up Alaska.
Uh,
it was purchased,
uh,
from,
uh,
Russia for $7.2 million.
Whoa.
It's like a hockey team.
In 1867.
Same with the Cubs, I think.
They were purchased from the Russians?
For $17 million.
It became an organized US territory in 1912, but it became the 49th state in 1959.
There it is.
Wow.
There it is.
So Hawaii wasn't even a state when it was Pearl Harbor?
It was a protectorate.
Maybe.
A territory.
Yeah.
When did the flaming Alaska become a thing?
Oh.
Oh.
Is that a drink?
No, it's a dessert, isn't it?
Is that a baked Alaska?
That's what it is.
Flaming Alaska.
Oh, I overdid the baked Alaska.
It's a flaming mo.
Yeah.
I mo, I made it.
It's just a really flamboyant baked Alaska.
How was touring in Newfoundland?
It was, oh, I had to think about it.
I literally.
Not great?
Man, it's so, is it slow?
It's so slow.
I waited in line. First, so i went to the grocery store it's
these little towns in newfoundland all over so we hit up like all the little towns and i like
waited in the grocery store so i went to the deli just to get some deli meats that took 45 minutes
nobody in front of me you know like so what like just the guy didn't come to just
pam's talking to Shelly back there.
And there's seven people working back there.
No one doing anything.
Then I go to checkout.
Checkout took like a half hour.
It's just like at their own pace.
Because I'm from Chicago, where it's like.
The go, go, go city.
I know.
I'm in the city.
Big things are happening.
Me and Caroline, we're all.
Did that take place in Chicago?
No, it's a different city.
But you get the idea. Sure. You're writing, we're all... Does that take place in Chicago? It's a different city, but you get the idea.
Sure.
You're writing your...
You're coloring her cartoons.
Yes.
I'm a mover and a shaker.
And then to go to this little town
where it's just so slow.
And I want to say
that's a Canadian thing,
but I think it's more
of a small town Newfoundland thing.
Yeah.
It's charming, isn't it?
Not when I got to be in a wrestling show
and I got spandex to put on.
Yeah, just give me a handful of deli meats.
Yeah, I just need to lube myself up with all this ham.
Have you ever been to Newfoundland?
No.
And Labrador?
No, neither.
Um, it's, uh, there's two famous dogs from there, the Labrador and the Newfoundland.
Yep.
Um, and they, uh, they're kind of like, we do Newfie jokes in Canada.
And they have a very distinct accent.
And it's sort of like.
It's Irish a little bit.
It is a little, it's got a little.
Hey, you sound just like everyone knows you cannot have any and i don't this is probably like a cliche thing but my mother's friend she would talk about like
growing up in newfoundland and it's like a maritime place and the rich kids for lunch would
get like a bologna sandwich and the poor kids were stuck with a lobster sandwich yeah because
lobsters like you know so plentiful it's everywhere out there didn't you have any lobster well i don't
eat anything from the sea no nothing from the sea nothing not even a seal? The singer? Yeah.
I always take in a fine seal CD at night. CD, why not?
Sure.
You know, I've been doing that joke for 20 years now.
Yep, your seal joke?
Yeah, people still know what CDs are, right?
Yeah, of course.
And as the seal ones, they have seal on the cover.
Yeah.
Wait, are they sealed?
Right?
Is that the joke?
I mean, it's a joke.
Like, what type of places were you wrestling in in Newfoundland?
Like, the hockey arena?
It was all the hockey.
Because America, I think, is known, like we have them at high school.
You know, obviously WWE has them at the giant arenas.
But we, as in the independent underground wrestler, at the high schools, at the armories, at the VFW halls.
Right.
But this one was all hockey arenas.
Yeah.
Every small town has a hockey arena.
And every small town that doesn't even have
anything yeah the hockey arenas have free wi-fi oh wow pretty amazing yeah and i think
they're so small they don't like realize that you're supposed to lock the wi-fi
oh so it's just like they have no clue and it's just open. Password. What's that? Oh, yeah?
I mean, they're a simple people.
Yeah.
So that was exciting because I turn off, when I'm in Canada, I turn off my phone.
Yeah.
Because I don't want to get charged for roaming.
Sure.
You know, Rogers pops on.
I know I owe an extra 200 bucks to somebody, right?
To Roger. When that switch is over.
And so free Wi-Fi, always hockey arenas.
And yeah.
Yeah.
Which makes for a great locker room, actually.
Because it's an actual locker room.
Yeah.
Sometimes when you wrestle in these smaller shows,
I've changed in closets before.
I've changed in, and then I came out of the closet
and I was like, in my spandex.
In your spandex.
I'm a flaming Alaska.
I've changed in my car before.
Oh, sure.
That's a weird walk through the parking lot.
And a weird walk back to your car.
I actually then drive myself down to the ring like I'm a real big star.
Oh, yeah.
And then I park it and then jump in the back and then come out the side door like I've been ballet to the ring.
Oh, yeah.
You have a tinted window so nobody can see you switching you're wearing a chauffeur's hat when you drive that's a cool gimmick yeah you're your own virgil um uh were there like newfoundland
wrestlers or was this just a touring company it's a it's a company out of newfoundland and
there was a couple newfoundland wrestlers but a lot of it was people from outside.
Right.
Yeah.
Did they have, like, the captain or the fisherman?
Is that their characters?
Yeah.
Oh, there was one guy who was the American.
He has all this stuff to draw from.
It's just George Clooney from the movie and i think what's
funny is that uh he was american and then we hit all these small towns so like like i'm known in a
weird like cult way if you will cult way yes me for me you know but when you go to these small
towns like nobody knows who anybody is like there's a guy named Rhino who was a very famous wrestler in the WWE for years.
And even at these small towns, they don't even know who he is.
So this one.
Idiots.
Rhino.
There's also Seal.
Sure.
Just everything.
And so the American came out, and he's got America garb.
There it is.
There it is.
And then would he
talk with his Newfoundland
accent? I'm from
America.
Oh, me mother died.
And so
I would say to
the ring announcer, can you announce me from
Newfoundland? And I would be
Canadian. Oh, really? I would
start the Canada, Canada,
while the Canadian is going USA.
America.
Is that it?
Yes.
That's what we chant.
A real role reversal, if you will.
Oh, yeah.
I felt like a real Tyler Perry in there,
just changing it up.
Is that what Tyler Perry is known for?
No.
Really switching it up?
Yeah, I guess.
I guess so.
Sometimes he's him.
Has there ever been a Medea wrestler?
Oh, yeah.
That would be a good thing for promo.
There kind of was.
There was a wrestler named Shelton Benjamin.
And then they got his mama to be a character.
And she was like this 50-year-old fat black woman.
Was it a guy in women's clothes?
No.
Oh, okay.
But I mean, that's the closest we're going to get, I think.
Sure, I guess.
I mean, it could have been Tyler Perry.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah, I could see very easily Madea doing a promo tour where she does some wrestling.
Do you remember the basketball player Larry Johnson?
Who did his grandmama,
was his character in Converse Ads?
He's on a show.
He's on a wrestling,
there's a wrestling show in Jersey
that I wrestle for.
I'm not going to be there
because I'll be overseas,
but there's a wrestling poster
and on the poster is like,
also come meet Larry Johnson,
grandmama.
Wow.
Yeah.
So he's still. He's in the wrestling game now, I guess. also come meet Larry Johnson, Grandmama. Wow. Yeah.
So he's still... He's in the wrestling game now,
I guess.
Well, that's pretty...
Well, there it is.
I definitely had the Grandmama poster.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
So what was it?
Just him dressed like an old lady?
Yeah, but like coming at you.
Oh, okay.
Like he didn't...
His game didn't change at all.
He would still dunk.
And then you were getting dunked on by an old lady.
Oof.
It's hard.
It's hard to be dunked on, but by an old lady.
Yuck.
He'd be like, good afternoon.
Is that Medea's catchphrase?
Yeah.
And then he pours hot tea over his head at the end of the game.
I think Spike Lee was involved somehow.
Maybe.
Oh, no, I think Spike Lee was involved somehow maybe oh no i think spike
lee was uh on in the nike camp oh what was this converse yeah yeah spike lee did the gotta be
the shoes or whatever wasn't that it yeah that is with michael jordan yeah uh maybe i'm thinking of
bugs bunny um the uh uh that was a weird that was a weird era for commercials where like they're like i
don't know spike lee and uh michael jordan michael jordan and bucks bunny well i see this guy dressed
like an old lady whatever like whatever works at the show the other night i that i wrestled i saw
an unran un ironically guy wearing a looney Tunes New York Giants shirt.
Oh, nice.
And I was like, that's a great shirt.
And that was an era.
Like, that's the same era, right?
Yeah, that's true.
Hip-hop Looney Tunes.
Yeah.
Hip-hop Looney Tunes.
And, like, there must have been a, like, somebody must have changed ownership in the Looney
Tunes camp.
They must have gone like, okay, I got to get the most I can out of this.
Yeah, we got to.
Out of these old properties, you know.
Impenemount, is that what they would call it?
I don't, what would I call it?
I don't know.
But it was weird.
It was like Looney Tunes, the entire like street aesthetic of Looney Tunes
was based on crisscross.
This is the cool thing.
Let's get Taz's pants on backwards.
Yeah, how come they haven't tried
for like a new...
Oh, like a dubstep
Looney Tunes. Yeah, where Bugs Bunny has
half of his head shaved.
Or like, Spongebob
is now wearing weird cool yeah yeah like spongebob didn't he hasn't i wonder
if there's spongebob knockoff has he sold out yet spongebob well was it absolutely selling out or
was it just like trying to like like the the looney tunes stuff was so old yeah so it's like
well these cartoons are from the 40s oh well then let's
get steamboat willie in there yeah yeah like i think they've done probably like hip mickey yeah
mickey keeps getting re you know redone every decade there's like a new he's never good but
you know he's they they could try to like redo and he's never been good like oh
steamboat willie's hilarious where he's whistling that's true that's it that's all the whole the
whole disneyland based on this mouse who has never entertained anyone like a whole empire
like oh i want to wear these ears of this character I have no feelings for. And the amount of money that people just drop on all of that stuff.
I know, turkey legs.
Yeah, well.
I just feel like rooms dedicated to turkey legs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's, um, what did I learn yesterday?
Oh, that, uh, like the Beatles, like when they officially broke up, John Lennon was
in a Disney world.
That was like, he was on the phone and when they made the final decision to like not make
any more or like, Hey, he was in a hotel in Disney world.
Huh?
Yeah.
He was in a golf ball and an Epcot golf ball.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was making the, uh, uh the Beatles version of Captain EO.
Oh, man.
Captain EO was so great.
I never saw it.
Yeah.
I saw it when I was a kid.
I just thought it was the greatest thing.
At Disney World?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the 3D one?
Yeah.
I mean, I remember putting on 3d glasses and going to see
something that's about it you were uh brainwashed oh i have there uh there was i don't it was one
of the the worlds or universes or whatever sure and uh kit was there night writer and kit and i
remember this guy this is my first show this was my first comedic uh coming out really was uh i guess i was like five or six or seven or whatever and kick or eight or
nine or ten and uh kit goes uh merry christmas and i go but i'm jewish and i got a huge laugh
so i'm told were you on stage with kit that was just outside oh yeah it was the kit show
question and answer with kit yeah i've been to an evening with kit there was a crowd around me and
then and then i put out a hat and we did that every hour on the hour i had shirts. It was... Imagine a spit-off.
Yeah, I...
But I don't eat anything from the sea.
I don't know who this character is.
Six-year-old Colt Cavanaugh.
Didn't they try to make a reboot of Knight Rider?
Like, not that long ago, right?
They're making a reboot, or they're doing
a movie version of Baywatch.
Oh, really?
In the Hasselhoff oeuvre.
Wow.
Wrestling has something to do with it, because I think it's going to be
wrestling. Oh, there it is.
Which one is he? He's going to play the lead
guy. Yeah.
The guy that Hoff played? Yeah.
I wonder who will play, who will fill the shoes of
david chokichi but i feel like it's gonna be i think it's like a comedy it's gonna be in the
vein of like 21 jump street was a drama tv show and now it's a comedy movie ah that's probably
good there was a wrestler named el igante who later went to be giant gonzalez i don't know
if you remember yeah yeah he wore the with the skin suit yeah yeah and then he had this weird like he basically had like a kind of a
vagina well yeah he had a pube basically like yeah trunks made out of pubes he wore a clothes that
looked like a naked muscular body with with weird loins he's dead now now? He is dead, but he was in an episode. He's the only wrestler who ever died.
That's true.
Actually, we do a 10 bell for him every show.
He was in an episode of Baywatch.
Really?
That's my memory of Baywatch.
As?
George Morazan.
Because he was 7 foot 8, this guy.
Yeah. Just crazy tall. So he had to go way out in8", this guy. Yeah.
Just crazy tall.
So he had to go way out in the water to drown.
He played a buoy.
There was an episode where he fought a shark.
Yeah.
I feel that David Hasselhoff's son was befriending him.
Okay.
The character?
Or his real life son?
The character when he became
yeah and like he had an earring and he was kind of like things were happening in his life and i
guess that thing was meeting giant gonzalez i'm not sure that's all i remember about baywatch i
remember there was an episode with hulk hogan a macho man on it oh there was or was that baywatch
nights well it might have been Baywatch Nights.
I don't know. And they were on jet skis?
They were on jet skis, yeah.
I think it was Baywatch the college years, actually.
Yeah, sure.
The new class.
And then there was a wrestling show called Bash to the Beach, I think based off of all
this macho and Hulk.
Oh, right.
At being on Baywatch.
It was like, we're here anyways.
We already realized we're here anyways. Might as well set up a 20,000 seat arena.
We already realized we liked the beach.
They did that too.
In WCW, they had WCW Hog Wild at Sturgis.
Oh, really?
And like, there was no seats.
It was just people on motorcycles around the ring.
Jeez.
So this is festival seating.
Yeah.
Whoever drives in first gets it.
Yeah.
Is that like where the big Hell's Angels convention is?
The motorcycle rally every year.
And I think the guys at WWF and WWE or whatever at the time, they were smart.
They were maybe normal.
Let's do arenas.
Right.
They were smart They were
Maybe normal
Let's do arenas
Right
And
The guys who owned WCW
Obviously just did the stuff they liked
Because they also did shows
In Cancun
During spring break
Oh yeah
That makes sense
And
Because I remember
As a kid watching MTV
And then they would
Set up wrestling
So Sturgis
Bash at the Beach
Yeah
Some field somewhere
Mardi Gras
Yeah
After a Dodgers game anarchy
at the airport disco demolition night
cheesecake factory present yeah like
isn't wasn't their big thing WCW was
Halloween Halloween Halloween Havoc that was their WrestleMania right or I Like, wasn't their big thing, WCW, was Halloween?
Halloween Havoc? Halloween Havoc.
That was their WrestleMania, right?
I think Starrcade was their WrestleMania, although Halloween Havoc, I think, was the night that Robocop came out.
That is a fond memory.
Yes.
And he, I don't know.
Who did he wrestle?
He saved Sting from somebody.
Yeah, Sting got put in a cage.
Now, Sting the musician?
Yes.
He was singing...
Kiss from a Rose.
No, wait, that's Seal, Desert Rose.
And then, yeah, he gets put in a cage,
and then Robocop comes and bends the iron bars and lets the wobbly
elastic yeah rubber you know rubber inner tubes yeah made to look like iron bars i watched new
robocop on a flight you guys see that one no yeah i've good i do so much like crazy traveling i've
i've watched every movie i don't know the title of any movie, but I know. It's about a robot cop.
I don't know what it was called.
Good for a flight.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know if it's 1250 at the theater.
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess they had to remake it because they're duty bound in Hollywood to remake everything.
What am I going to not remake RoboCop?
Yeah.
Was it perfect the first time?
I guess it could have,
you know,
done with better special effects.
Oh, we have those now.
Yeah.
So we might as well remake it.
Sure.
You know,
like I love Running Man.
Yeah.
And I was like,
that's the movie you got to remake.
But I think they're remaking that now. Yeah. Running Man was Arnold Schwarzenegger? Schwarzenegger. Yeah. And I was like, that's the movie you got to remake. But I think they're remaking that now.
Yeah.
I've heard that.
Running Man was Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Schwarzenegger.
Yeah.
And Jesse Body Ventura?
Obviously, I only like movies with wrestlers in it.
What's the plot of that one?
Is it like the most dangerous game?
Ben Richards.
Ben Richards is known as the Butcher of Bakersfield.
And the government has changed.
He saved a whole town,
but the government doesn't like him.
So they changed the footage
to make it look like he killed a whole town.
And then there's a game show with Richard Dawson.
Oh, yeah.
He's still kissing everybody for some reason.
And they take prisoners
and they kill the prisoners in a battlefield.
Oh.
It's every man for themselves.
It's Hunger Games. Yeah. Oh, they should remake it in a battlefield. Oh. It's every man for themselves. It's Hunger Games.
Yeah.
Oh, they should remake it, but with Steve Harvey.
As the host of the game show.
Oh, that would be so good.
He's so confused about it.
And they're like, I want to kill that guy.
And he's like, what?
Well, there's a character.
Where's the weirdest place?
Or what's something you should never touch on a woman?
The boob.
I don't know.
I don't know what the categories are.
something you should never touch on a woman the boob i don't know i don't know what the categories are the categories are just things that are like make people say something slightly inappropriate
then steve harvey gets mad yeah he bugs his eyes out yeah come on what was the one what is the
what dwarf would you call your wife? In bed? Yeah.
And both guys just go look at each other and go,
no way, man.
Not gonna answer that. Not saying it.
Not saying it.
Went viral.
Pretty sweet.
Yeah.
What would have been wrong with happy?
Or horny.
Horny the dwarf.
Yeah.
Slippery the dwarf.
Slippery?
Slippy.
Slippy, sorry.
Slippy the dwarf.
Headachy.
Yeah. I've been at work all day.
Not in the moody.
Moody the dwarf.
This is fun.
Not it.
Yeah, I don't.
They've been remaking so many 80s movies.
They're remaking I Am Legend.
Finally.
With Jaden Smith?
Oh, well, we can hope.
With Jaden Smith and the son of the dog that was in that movie?
Yeah, it's the puppy.
Okay.
Okay, remake it.
But they remade Red Dawn and no one noticed?
Oh, yeah, right. Who was in that? It was some... One of the Hemsworths? Um, but like they made remade red Dawn and no one noticed. Oh yeah.
Right.
Who was in that?
It was some, one of the Hemsworths.
Yeah, that's right.
It was a Schwarzenegger movie.
No, it was Matthew.
No, Josh Brolin.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
And, uh, no, it was the one where the
you know the Russians are invading and
this like ragtag group of
goonies has to save the town
yeah like it's a bunch of kids
get out into the woods and yeah
and they have to like invade
the invasion kind of thing
oh where John Travolta
lives in Russia but it's supposed to be Nebraska
no that's Greece that's in Russia, but it's supposed to be Nebraska? No, that's Greece.
That's what you're asking.
It's phenomenon.
Yeah, this.
Oh, wait, no, I'm thinking of Rad, the BMX movie.
Oh, why don't they remake that?
We've got so many better bicycles now.
And we've got so many better Australians.
We could have Christian Bale in it.
Here's who was in it.
Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, C. Thomas Howell,
Leah Thompson,
Harry Dean Stanton,
Powers Booth.
C. Thomas Howell in that movie, what color was he?
He was gold.
He went gold face for that?
Yeah.
Well, he stayed gold, Ponyboy he was he in soul man he was yeah
and uh not only was he in soul man he was the soul man it's the cosby generation
uh line from that movie the cosby generation yeah that was uh That was his friend, Stiles, I assume.
That's how he convinced him to... He took tanning pills to go blackface.
I don't know.
I guess there was a wig involved as well.
Yeah, there's definitely a wig.
Sunglasses.
So he could get a scholarship?
Yeah.
I think he accidentally applied for an NAACPP scholarship and then he had to, you know, follow through.
It's one of those movies where every step of the way, somebody had to, like, must have been afraid they were going to lose their job by saying, oh, we shouldn't do this.
You know what I mean?
Like at just every stage of the game.
Like, I feel like that one with Cuba getting junior where he goes on the boat, the gay cruise.
Yeah.
Horatio Sands.
Horatio Sands.
Boat trip.
There just must have been so many people were like, oh, everything about this is so.
Maybe it's not my place to say, but.
Yeah.
Including him.
I think years later he was known for saying like, maybe I shouldn't have done that one.
He's like, he knew that that was kind of his undoing.
Did he make radio before or after that movie?
Oh, during.
Radio was a featurette.
Oh, yeah, it was like at the beginning and a radio short.
Yeah.
The movie Radio was based on some silent films that he had done before uh other movies before who framed roger rabbit
uh and cuba getting junior in a radio they just keep during boat trip everyone's tv is tuned to
radio oh wow yeah i uh i've tried to watch because somebody whenever it came out like uh somebody
told me like no you have to watch this is like guaranteed this is the worst movie radio yeah
no boat boat trip oh man i kind of liked boat what no are you sure you think you're the right
movie i think will ferrell was kind of funny in it didn't he have a feral in it i think he had
like a little thing in it that he was funny in well it's hard for real it's really funny to he had a lot of those in like the late
90s early 2000s pop into like yeah it was like oh you're the best well you're not the best thing in
drowning mona drowning mona is perfect what's uh which one's drowning mona is that one of those
like super cast yeah well it's like Danny DeVito. Right.
Is this, um.
Wait, are you sure that's not, uh.
Throw Mona from the train?
Tony, uh.
Danza?
Tony Danza.
Training Mona.
Yeah.
The most famous Mona besides Tony.
No, Bette Midler plays Mona, uh, this detestable woman and she gets killed.
And, uh, it's this small town in upstate New York where everyone drives a Yugo.
And everyone's a suspect.
Do you think the movie was produced by Yugo?
No, it was like this town.
It was just like a funny gag.
And like the town was a test market for Yugos.
That's really funny.
It is a really good movie.
I keep forgetting that I own it on DVD.
I once tried to order it from a website.
I'm like, oh, they don't have it.
And then I checked and I'm like, oh, I already have it.
I've never seen it.
That's a good recommendation for like, maybe you missed it.
Yeah, it might be on Netflix.
Yeah.
That and Boat Trip.
Yeah, no.
I mean, definitely watch Bo boat trip because it's an
important film to see a guy's career completely just like jump off the rails because he was he
just won an oscar he was i think well maybe it was post dog talk dogs oh snow dogs no dog oh boy
i felt like that came out like when, when? 97? Snow Dogs?
No, Boat Trip.
I'd say closer to 2000.
Okay.
It was after he won the Oscar, for sure.
He won the Oscar, I think, in 1996.
I'm 20 years old.
You look great.
You know, I'm...
It's just like...
And, like, I'm, like, maybe...
I think I was playing, like, getting into wrestling,
playing college football, and I was just like, I'm like, like maybe I think I was playing, like getting into wrestling, playing college football.
And I was just like, oh, I'm like, I know I'm not, I don't hate homosexuals.
Like that's how I felt like it taught me a good lesson.
Like, oh, I know I'm a, I'm a good one.
You know, I know I'm okay.
Yeah.
I have no ill feelings like me.
Like I related to Cuba Gooding Jr.
That's what you took away from both.
That's what I took away from it.
Okay.
to Cuba Gooding Jr.
That's what you took away from Bozer? That's what I took away from it.
Okay, so I opened up
Cuba Gooding Jr.'s
IMDB.
Yeah.
I thought it was closed.
I thought those records were sealed.
He had a pretty good career going.
Boys in the Hood.
Yeah.
Gladiator, the boxing one.
Yeah.
A Few Good Men. Yep. Judgmentator, the boxing one. Yeah. A Few Good Men.
Yep.
Judgment Night.
Blown Away.
Outbreak.
These were, this is all pretty good stuff.
That was the first Ebola crisis.
Oh, funky.
Then Jerry Maguire, 1996.
As Good as It Gets, the next year.
On Fire.
Yeah.
On Fire.
That wasn't, On Fire was a movie?
What was that? Yeah. It Fire. Yeah. On Fire. That wasn't, On Fire was a movie? What was that?
Yeah.
It was about Alaska.
Story about burning.
I'm just wondering, can we chart where it went off the rails?
What Dreams May Come, A Murder of Crows.
I don't think it's famous enough to be a misstep.
No.
Instinct.
Instinct.
That's Anthony Hopkins with a beard.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Did they fight a bear in that one?
No.
That's a different one.
Chill factor?
That might have been.
Could have been.
That sounds suspicious.
1999.
It's him and Skeet Ulrich.
Oh, yeah.
I believe they drive around in an ice cream truck.
Ice cream truck.
Yep.
That was that.
That's where it began.
Based off of the puns that Schwarzenegger did in that Batman movie.
You're like, it's hot right now.
You're doing chill facts.
Men of Honor with Robert De Niro.
Okay.
Pearl Harbor, 2001.
A reprieve.
That's...
Yeah.
Rat race.
Ooh, yeah.
Rat race.
Then Snow Dogs and Boat Trip, 2002.
Same year? Yep. I'd say and Boat Trip 2002. Same year?
Yeah.
I'd say we could pinpoint that that's the year where things really skidded out.
And then the following year, The Fighting Temptations and Radio.
And then everything else has been, look, I'd kill for this guy's career.
Yeah, of course.
He was in Norbit.
Was he?
Sorry, he was in Orbit.
I mean, hey, I was in the documentary mansum so uh oh are you you know
i'm just saying i i've seen we're all we're all we're all movie stars here i've seen that on
netflix i haven't seen yeah i shaved brows past i shaved a wrestler's butt in it oh yeah so
clippers or uh shaver shaver Uncredited Uncredited
Oh so it's just
It's just your hand shaving
No I mean it's me
But I don't think
They took the time to go
Oh maybe we should
Write down this guy's name
And then
You sign a release
Yeah
I tweeted
I tweeted Morgan Spurlock
And said hey man
Why you gotta
Uncredit me
Why you gotta be so rude
Yeah
And he goes
Oh my god
Butt shelf man Butt shelf man I my God, butt shelf man.
Butt shelf man?
I was known as butt shelf man because I think I made a comment of like, as I was shaving
my friend's back and I was like, the hair went down on his butt, but he has like a muscular
wrestler's butt.
Right.
So it was a butt shelf.
A muscular wrestler's butt.
Yeah.
And that's where the hair lied so i mean i get i get cuba you know i get them yeah we're in the same well that was your that was sort of your jerry mcguire
show me your butt show me the fanny i cannot wait to see your radio. Yeah.
Dave, what's going on with you?
Well, not a heck of a lot.
Got this baby going on.
Yep.
Got this baby just doing the cutest little sitting on her back. Now, are you saying that like, I got this, baby?
I got this, baby.
Hey, baby.
It's like, yeah.
It's like I'm Mr. Mom over here, but I can handle it.
But basically, we've been watching a lot of TV.
Yeah, yeah.
Because that's what you do when you're me.
Yep.
Now, when you say we, you and the baby?
Me, the baby.
The baby's very, a big TV fan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who's your favorite person on the chew oh i'm the chew
she likes uh mario batali yeah she likes that uh lady from uh top chef i don't know
the only i only know mario batali and then the guy that used to be uh wolfgang puck no the guy
that was like on the What Not to Wear.
Isn't he like regular on the Chew?
Is Slater not on the Chew?
Or was one of the Queer Eye for the Straight guys on there?
Oh, maybe.
Yeah.
I don't really know.
Mario Batali is the only one I really know.
And also the guy from the package of Big League Chew.
He has, right?
He's definitely on it.
Yeah, that cartoon baseball player.
Yeah, that cartoon baseball player.
So basically what happens is baby wakes up whenever.
Yeah.
I like this baby style.
We feed the baby.
We've changed the baby.
Baby falls asleep.
Baby wakes up. Yeah.
Feed change.
Not necessarily in that order.
Yeah.
change not necessarily in that order yeah um and uh abby always watches uh um regis and kelly or kelly and michael oh yeah yeah in the morning and then that leads to the view it's we basically just
don't change the channel in the daytime we've also had abby's parents here so i'm like well
i don't want to put on something that they don't like so i just like the most inoffensive stuff is on this one channel yeah it's uh the uh those two shows followed by uh
maryland dennis which is a canadian oh yeah have you ever seen maryland dennis in your travels
you probably it's the most forgettable yeah it's like today we're gonna talk about scarves and then
there'll be like 25 minutes on scar yeah and then the last minute, they'll bring on a B-list Hollywood celebrity.
Like, you had a famous person here.
Yeah, in the last two minutes of the show.
Keep it getting junior, everybody.
I was going to say, I think I did that as the butt shelf guy.
And then the news is on for an hour.
And then it's the social, which is Canada's The View.
Yeah.
Well, it's Canada's The Talk.
Yeah, that's right.
What's our The View?
Oh, boy, we should be so lucky.
Yeah, Power and Politics with Evan Solomon.
And then it's Dr. Phil.
Then it's Ellen.
And then it's Dr. Oz.
We don't usually make it until that long.
That's quite a lineup Because I've started changing the channel when Dr. Phil comes on
Because
I've never really watched Dr. Phil before
And I don't know if it's changed over the years
But it is
He used to dance
He used to come out and he would dance with the audience
He used to do pregnancy tests
I think
Makeovers Launch k would dance with the audience. He used to do pregnancy tests, I think.
He would makeovers.
Launch koosh balls into the audience.
Everyone was a cutie patootie to this guy.
But now what the show apparently is, it's abusive fathers.
Oh, yeah.
Who want to be on Dr. Phil to show how abusive they're not.
Which always goes well. Is that like a Borat joke? how abusive they're not which always goes well and they're so is that like a
like a borat joke how abusive they are no um and they're so confident that they're good fathers
that they've agreed uh to like give their family cameras like video cameras to videotape them
being being dads and they just scream at them the whole time.
And then they're like, Dr. Phil, Dr. Phil is going to see this
and he's going to know I'm a good father.
I'm going to be vindicated in my own house.
That's basically what every episode is.
All these shows, I guess because that's what happened to,
I was going to say Homeboy.
I don't know what his name is.
Not Geraldo. Who's the guy who does the paternity test now?
Oh, Maury Povich.
Maury.
I mean, like, and like Jenny Jones became.
That's what I refer to people as.
They just.
Jenny Jones became bootcamp.
Right.
I think maybe.
Yeah.
Ricky Lake was, didn't Ricky Lake become bootcamp?
Oh, I don't know.
It's pretty wild how they start out these vague, like, they want to be legit, and then
they just realize, well, we are what we are.
Yeah, you're like, this is the one.
Oh, Montel was what was really like boot camp heavy.
But like, it was weird because they would get a troubled teen, and they would either
give them a makeover or send them to boot camp.
Yeah.
And it was sort of arbitrary.
They just flip a coin before the show.
Come on, makeover. Come on, makeover.
Come on, makeover.
Yeah.
I don't know what Dr. Oz.
Like, I don't have.
You're not up that early like me.
Yeah, I'm not up before two.
Well, Dr. Phil's on it, too.
Dr. Oz is on it four.
I know the thing with dr oz because i
always i'll see it on planes uh his thing is always he talks about a thing and then he has a
model like that he's built to demonstrate sure like so he's like you know sugar is bad for you
and then he's got a crazy thing that's just like a you know a truck well you know dump
truck full of sugar just to demonstrate how much you eat every day yeah and uh how much you need
every day like he and and a lot of times the models they look good but they're not very
functional so he was showing like like supermodels yeah he had uh mario l Lopez on the other day. And he was showing him what was going on with his shoulder joint.
And then the thing broke.
And I was like, that can't be what's happening with Mario Lopez's shoulder joint.
Mario Lopez on.
They did a mock circumcision.
See, Mario, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Oh, is he a...
Oh, he's a big
Foreskin
Foreskin crusader
Crusader yeah
Him and Jenny McCarthy
Is she
Seems like something
She's got on board for
On the cause right
Yeah
You can't snip
Yeah
He's got a book out
Mario Lopez
He's got six books out
I'm not joking
I saw him on Ellen The other day He's got his sixth book out But this is his first memoir six books out. I'm not joking.
I saw him on Ellen the other day.
Yeah.
He's got his sixth book out,
but this is his first memoir.
Yeah, this is,
it's called Just Between Us.
And it's about his pecs.
That was really good.
He's a real go-to, isn't he?
Oh, yeah.
Mario Lopez?
Yeah, he's become this era's Mark McGrath.
Yeah, sure.
He's like a Ryan Seacrest with sort of a sex predator edge.
Is he a...
He's like a guy who writes really sincere tweets, right?
I guess so.
I don't know.
I love how you have two categories, I assume.
Yeah. Funny tweets and sincere tweets tweets there's no in between uh or the retweeter oh or the person that just uses
their twitter feed to like talk to other people talk to famous and like gunks up your feed with
them just responding to yeah that's not uh But then that means you're following those people also.
Yeah, that's true.
So what does that make me?
What's that say about me?
Do you ever, like, I guess six months ago, Twitter let you mute people?
And before that, you had to block people?
Oh, man.
This guy's a huge mute fan.
Oh, sorry.
For the listener, he's pointing his thumb at Graham. Yeah, I love this guy's a huge mute fan oh sorry for the listener uh he's pointing his thumb at graham
i only just learned of the unfollow function on facebook oh right like you could unfollow
people's news updates because i thought you had to block them outright and i was like oh what
does unfollow mean and it was just, you won't see this person anymore.
I was like, ah, perfect.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because, man, people can really post some crap.
It's where I get all my news.
It is the news feed, I think.
You figure if any news story is big enough, somebody will be reposting it on Facebook.
I honestly, I'm not reading either. It's only videos that I hover my clicker over. figure if any news story is big enough somebody will be reposting it on facebook yeah i honestly
i'm not reading either it's only videos that i hover my clicker over it starts playing
yeah and if it uh if the video doesn't catch you in that first couple seconds
it's off yeah presidential dress boring dogs in a pool winner
yeah dog on a trampoline hooray you know what's become a big trend is
i'm not a big trend but like is i don't know so there's a guy uh um what was the pussy quote the
old guy who fuck her in her pussy right sorry is that is that too i don't know where that came from
but i do see it like now people's people will say it in the microphones all the time.
Oh, they'll say it on news reports.
And they stage their own news report to make it look like it's a real news,
but it's a fake newscast.
Just to do that?
Yes.
And then they'll put it online like it's a real thing,
and it'll go viral, and people will be like, I can't.
Oh, so people are making their own news bloopers.
Yes. Yes.
Weird.
Very weird.
Because, you know, those should be organic.
You know, you don't have to buy organic everything,
but I think news bloopers should be organic.
You just got to find a kid who likes to say apparently.
You got to find a, you know, oh, my favorite news blooper.
It's a year old, guy who like the moment the
camera went on he didn't know the thing was running and just started going oh shit he was
like a just out of broadcasting school oh fucking pussy fuck shit and then uh he recovered though
i like the uh the people like try thinking that they're
ducking underneath the camera but you can see them the whole time oh that's the great i don't
know that one uh just uh there's there's different ones where the newscaster's in the front and then
somebody realizes the camera's on they duck down okay thinking they're underneath the camera but
you just see them like going across the background. They go hunched over.
Oh, good stuff. Last year at Christmas we watched, because they put them out at the end of the year,
like the best news bloopers of 2014.
I guess they didn't put that out last year.
And then I realized that there were like years and years worth.
So I think I spent a few hours watching these 10 minute clips of the best news bloopers of the year.
So great.
Oh yeah.
Oh,
if you're ever down in the dumps,
news bloopers,
they'll pick you up.
What did we do before the internet?
Oh,
you know,
we would just,
uh,
trade videotapes.
Yeah.
We would hang out at the seven 11 parking lot.
I remember I like sports center would put out the top 10,
like bloopers of the year or whatever.
And you had to watch.
And you had to wait till the December, whatever 29th episode of sports center yeah and now it's just
that's true also you could rent videos that were like sports bloopers or did i i own those and and
rented them everything every option you own them rented them yeah yeah youtube really put the sports blooper
cassette vhs tape out of business didn't you think it was youtube that did that
but you're right it did
and it's sad
uh so did you learn anything from dr phil yeah that i'm gonna be i mean i don't know if i'm a
good dad yet but once once i give my baby a video camera to capture my screaming
then uh i'll i will i will be vindicated what do these people think is good like
and then they have to sit next to dr phil for an hour and watch the clips and
do you think that was okay well i did at the time
like well not now the way that you're asking me i know it's not okay but yeah i think it's okay
also like has it ever gone the other way where guys brought on videotapes and dr phil's like
well i think it's the kids fault
all of i we've reviewed the tapes you're great it's never gone that way on that way in the two
episodes i've watched but it was like when i was watching i was kind of uh like binge watching
kitchen nightmares and every single restaurant is just so hopeful they're like well i i'm confident
our food is amazing our food's gonna be fine and they microwave it and like he's like is this
microwave like he he knows and he hates it and then they're shocked they're like they just every
time dusting off the freezer burn yeah every time they're shocked he's like oh he doesn't like it yeah
that's all he does if your restaurant's food was good you wouldn't be submitting
to be on the show poor graham over here thinks reality television is like it really happens
uh anyways anyway graham what's going on with you um it's been a while since we recorded it's true
i uh you know last week i was i was uh i had to move and uh you're always moving always on the
move and um you gotta keep one step ahead of the something. I steal only what I can't afford.
That's everything.
Wait, I know this song in my head.
Let's not be so hasty.
Wait, no.
I was using the wrong voice.
Let's not be so hasty.
Still, I think he's rather tasty.
What does he gotta do?
Is this Aladdin? Yeah. Oh, that's what
it was. That would have been on the tip of my head.
Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, tell you all about it
when I got the time.
Wow. Well done.
Having this kid was just an excuse
to revisit all of these
movies. Oh boy, yeah. If there's one thing
three-week- old love well i bet
you she does love you doing a song a dance no no no she will yeah oh she will yeah you keep
practicing you're darn right she will i'm great that's what you hand into dr phil
it seems to be a lot of you doing show tunes. Yeah. Your child's starving, but.
Yeah.
So I moved.
I moved in the literally the one day all this week.
When you weren't traveling.
That it poured rain for three hours.
It was the three hours that I moved in everything got uh nice nice and moist three
hour move so so i did that and then uh i was out of town and in town and then uh one of the nights
i i talked on the last podcast we went to a crazy seedy bar. Where they had compact discs.
Yeah.
And it was just listening stations.
Yeah.
All the, instead of, your drink came on a coaster and you're like, oh, CCR's greatest hit.
That's not a bad theme for a bar.
You know.
That's a good way to get rid of old CDs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Coasters that are CDs.
Do you have like a beer nuts?
No, we have CDs nuts.
You could call it CDs nuts.
Yep.
So the next night after that, I went to an actual, like a real, like a nice bar with
like a bartender that knew.
Oh, he was a mixologist?
He was a mixologist.
And he was like an older guy.
And you could just say, oh, just, you know, make me something, you know.
Flaming Alaska, please.
And so he was making things that had like absinthe in it and all sorts of stuff.
He was doing it all to the hippie hippie shake.
I really have never i've
never drank like that before every time we go to the bar i just drank beer or whatever so i've never
like sat down and like had a series of drinks was this the nicest place you've ever been to
no but it was the kind of like it was like uh what city was this in this was in victoria was
it the bengal lounge no well maybe no i don't know was it in a hotel This was in Victoria. Was it the Bengal Lounge? No.
Well, maybe.
No.
I don't know.
Was it in a hotel?
It was in a hotel, yeah.
What hotel?
Something.
Cocktails and Dream.
I don't remember.
I don't remember the name of the hotel, but it was a really nice bar.
And, like, yeah, I never have done that. I've never just gone in and like had like adult mixed drinks.
Are you, you're allergic to what alcohol?
Red wine for sure.
And then a lot of, yeah, the song.
A lot of possible ones.
Yeah.
Like there's, isn't there stuff that's like a hazelnut?
Oh, sure.
Like amaretto.
Amaretto.
Yeah.
But you know, this was the, I like, I'd ask what was in it, but then he would mix it and
he'd put like an orange rind in it.
You know what I mean?
It was like, it was a real, I can see why people do this.
Did you feel like a real grownup?
I did.
Briefly.
And then when I got back up to the hotel room, I ordered a pizza and then felt like a 17
year old again.
I was like, oh, in a hotel room by myself, I better order a pizza and then felt like a 17 year old again. I was like, in a hotel room by myself, I better order a pizza.
Now, were all these drinks like $16?
Oh, yes.
And were people in like suits and stuff?
Yeah.
It was like a proper like cocktail bar.
How did you look?
Well, we had just done a show, so I was dressed.
I was wearing a button up shirt.
Okay.
And a nice pair of slacks and uh open
toed shoes a nice wedge um but yeah i just have never done that before so that was like it was a
real it was a real it was a real treat now you don't you don't uh consume alcohol i don't as
opposed to what pour it over your head put it on a tampon and put it on.
Yeah, you don't butt chug.
Yeah.
I understand that. Well, but you know, you wouldn't be opposed to, you know,
spraying champagne all over yourself if you won a car race or something like that.
Right, right.
I'm not like a former alcoholic or something.
Or just a race down the street.
Yeah.
It's a reason to celebrate for everything, isn't it?
But have you ever had drinks before
just never drank okay i just i think beer and alcohol tastes gross i'm also very cheap and uh
why spend uh that all that money when you just spin around in a circle
these the app not only wrestler athletes but all athletes are all the biggest alcoholics
there are so
that doesn't even
count oh i mean
but aren't you
worried about all
that sugar you got
a burn off i guess
not if you're an
athlete
if i was
that's true
if i was it would
only be michelob
ultras so
oh right
if i was to
partake
i drink o'douls
it's what beer
drinker drink beer
drinkers drink when
they're not drinking
beer
um i remember that was the thing yeah that was their I drink O'Doul's. It's what beer drinkers drink when they're not drinking beer.
I remember that was a thing.
Yeah.
That was their ad.
Hey, you know what beer drinkers should drink when they're not drinking beer?
Fake beer?
Anything else.
Like this is your break.
Synthetic beer.
Yeah.
Have a water.
Sure.
Have a pumpkin spice latte.
Oh, yeah. I wonder if O'Doul's has gotten in on a pumpkin spice latte. Oh, yeah.
I wonder if O'Doul's has gotten in on the pumpkin spice.
I assumed I had had a pumpkin spice latte.
Yeah.
I tried my first one this year, and I love pumpkin pie.
Yeah.
Like, top two pies.
I'm not afraid to tell you guys that that's what I had for breakfast this morning.
Pumpkin pie?
Slice of pumpkin pie. Okay, you can have it for lunch too. I had it upstairs.
Alright! I love it.
And the
latte, it doesn't taste like it.
No? I was like, I was really looking
forward to it. Well,
like... It's just
like a weird orange chemically
sludge. It's just, it's like maybe the
the spice
from the pumpkin spice, but it's not... It doesn the spice from the pumpkin spice but it's not it's
not it doesn't taste like pumpkin right it's weird that pumpkin like i was saying to uh this this guy
that i did a gig with i was like oh the people like pumpkin people must love like this new
influx pumpkin people eh yeah you know pumpkin farmers you know because Yeah, you know, pumpkin farmers. You know.
Because up until Jack-O-Lanterns, I'm sure pumpkins weren't super popular.
And then Jack-O-Lanterns gave a real boost.
And now this is pumpkins second coming, right?
Right now is pumpkins second coming?
Yeah, because everything's pumpkin spice.
You can get pumpkin spice in everything, right?
Alicia Tobin brought me back pumpkin spice M&Ms from the States.
So, like, people are going nuts on pumpkin spice.
But the guy I was talking to was like, there's no pumpkin in it.
Yeah. It's all just, yeah, like you said, like, a goop.
It's just like, hey, here's some nutmeg in your thing.
Yeah.
Just, it's, I don't know.
I'm not a pumpkin.
You're not a pumpkin.
And scene.
And roll credits.
Guys, I'm not a pumpkin.
I'd like to make that clear.
Yeah.
And if you thought what you thought, it was wrong.
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, Cinderella is going to be in me until midnight.
And then I'm a pumpkin.
Also, the way that both of you two, that's how cute that was.
You both jumped up at the same time, sat at the same time out of excitement.
We did that at our live show last week with John Doerr.
We both raced to a joke.
Uh, we're like, uh, we're like, uh, bachelorettes clamoring over that bouquet.
Yeah.
Oh, like I said, over that penis straw.
I thought you were talking about the bachelorette.
Well, maybe they do.
I don't know.
It happens at a bachelorette party.
Um.
They ruin comedy shows.
Yeah.
Do bachelorette parties ever come to wrestling shows?
That'd be great.
Uh, I'd say there's been a couple.
Really?
Over the years, yeah.
Seems like an excellent thing to do.
It makes all the sense.
Yeah, because comedy is like where people don't want those people, right?
Yeah.
We would love them.
And I feel like I would go.
You know, men in tight shorts.
Yeah.
There's barbed wire.
There's blood.
Yeah, exactly.
No, but like, you know, like a legit show with just like good looking dudes who work out.
Yeah, yeah.
And like, I think I feel, I couldn't give you an exact story, but I feel that's happened.
Like I've rolled out of the ring and like interacted right, you know, with them and
fell on them or whatever it might be.
It seems like they would be exactly what that type of party would want.
Yeah.
Now, have you ever done any of the, what Dave was talking about,
the barbed wire, the.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
I stay away from that.
Seems pretty brutal.
Yeah.
And there's a whole, there's a whole crew of guys that do that.
Like I'm buddies with that guy from the wrestler, the necro butcher,
my friend, you know, my friend necro.
You wouldn't have thought Butch would have been.
No.
I've got,
I've got a text message log with him and it just says Necro at the top.
Nex.
Um,
and some of those guys are like the nicest,
sweetest,
smartest guys.
Eh,
I'll take away smartest.
A little bit of brain comes out sometimes
racist in Sweden
though
yeah
and that's just
the style
that they like to do
oof
it's a
yeah
it seems like
it's all the
potential hurting yourself
that wrestling has
plus the
guaranteed hurting yourself
right
like
oh you light a table
on fire
and you throw a guy through it.
You think it'll be all right.
And these guys do, right?
They've got scars all over the place.
And yeah.
I'd be more worried about like, you have to, you know, tape up a razor blade and hide it
somewhere on your person to, you know, get a little blood going.
Yeah.
That's the last of their worries.
But like, I'd be worried like, oops,
I didn't,
you know, secure it tightly enough.
And now my leg is gushing blood.
That's famous.
So,
uh,
I don't like to really let anyone in on the secrets of that,
but there is a famous story of Kerry Von Erich,
wrestler,
Jerry Lawler,
and Kerry Von Erich was on so many drugs that he had a razor blade taped to his finger.
And he was so drugged up that he,
Oh,
sorry. It's not weird.
I'll make it quick.
I'll make it quick. He's passed out.
He was on so many drugs that
he scratched his bicep because it was itching
and then next thing you know his whole...
Okay, sorry.
You brought it up.
You brought it up.
You wrestle
Was that an insult?
Did you call me a wrestle?
No
He calls you a pumpkin
I'm not a pumpkin
You're a pumpkin
When Abby was giving birth
They put an IV
They put an iv in her boobs and no they put an iv in her arm and i walked away like as they were
doing it just because i felt like i don't want to be hovering over this nurse yeah yeah she's
sticking a needle in my wife's arm and the nurse immediately was like oh are you are you not good
with blood and i was like i'm fine yeah and not good with blood? And I was like, I'm fine. Yeah.
And it turns out I was.
And she's like, catch this.
How are you with placentas?
Oh, man.
Well, do you want to take care of a bit of business?
Yeah, let's do that.
Stop Podcasting Yourself is supported by Warby Parker, a new concept in eyewear.
I'm wearing them right now. Really? On your eyeballs? Yeah, these are my Warby Park, a new concept in eyewear. I'm wearing them right now.
Really?
On your eyeballs?
Yeah, these are my Warby Parkers.
They look good.
Thanks.
They look real good.
They're the Winston.
The Winston, as in Churchill, as in Ghostbusters.
Is that more?
Is there a cat named Winston?
Seems like a good name for a cat.
Yeah, it does seem like a good name for a cat.
Glasses should not cost as much as an iPhone.
At Warby Parker, fashion-forward prescription glasses start at $95, including lenses.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
That is really good.
Yeah.
I don't know if you ever tried to buy glasses before.
You got to go to lens crafters.
Oh, yeah.
And they got to craft them.
They got to craft them.
Lens craftsmen.
You have to lie there while they put a giant block of glass on your face and they
just chip away at it.
Better or worse?
Well, you know, you do like the artisanal touch, but who's got the time?
Yeah, sure.
Plus all that you get little glass shards in your, well, I tape a glass shard to my
finger.
Warby Parker makes buying glasses online easy and risk-free.
With the Home Try-On program, you can order five pairs of frames to be shipped directly to your home.
Try them on.
Oh, that's fun.
Yeah.
Try on different.
I'm an accountant.
I'm a banker.
Well, make sure you have some fun music playing.
Yeah.
Dude looks like a lady.
Maybe if you're trying on women's glasses.
Yeah, or is there a song about glasses?
Huey Lewis and the News, maybe?
Well, there's like the future's so bright I gotta wear shades.
There we go.
There's sunglasses at night.
I feel like there maybe is this easy top song about glasses.
Oh, eyes. She knows how to use them song of a class. Oh, eyes.
She knows how to use them.
Cheap sunglasses.
Oh,
cheap sunglasses.
There we go.
There's two kinds of rhinestone shades and cheap sunglasses.
There it is.
See,
Warby Parker wouldn't have been able to afford the licensing that song,
but through the magic of podcasting.
So you try them on,
select your favorites and send them back for free with no obligation to purchase.
That's amazing.
That's really cool.
Even if you don't buy them, you have this fun montage video of you trying on glasses.
Yeah, exactly.
Send it to your parents.
Try them on with different hats.
Go to warbyparker.com slash spy to get your five frames.
Choose your five frames. Choose your five frames.
Get the free home try-on
and a free three-day shipping.
That's warbyparker.com
slash SPY.
Now, we've also got a Jumbotron
personal message this week.
It is from
Alisa.
Alisa? It's from Alisa. Alisa?
It's from Alisa B.
Yeah.
To Henry G.
And it says, happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Henry.
Happy birthday to you.
We can't actually do the music because.
Yeah, because.
Peggy and Mildred Hill would have our hides.
Yeah.
Hip hip hooray
For he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow
Well who owns the rights to that
Well nobody that's why they always sing it
Instead of happy birthday
For he's a jolly good fellow
And so say us all
Dear Henry I love you
Have a great day
Love from Dave and Graham
So happy birthday to you henry um peace be with
you and also with and also with you oh and one more thing graham and i will be doing a reddit ama
this sunday uh the 20th of october as a part of max fun week uh sunday at 1 p.m pacific now back
to the show mark your calendars for a brand new thing.
The first ever MaxFunWeek
is coming up October 15th
through 21st.
MaxFunWeek is all about celebrating
the creativity and passion of our listeners.
We'll have podcast crossovers, Q&As,
behind the scenes tours, giveaways, and more.
No fundraising, just
awesome stuff for you.
So, tune into your favorite MaxFun shows, tell a friend about MaxFun, and more. No fundraising, just awesome stuff for you. So tune into your favorite MaxFun
shows, tell a friend about MaxFun, and check out some new shows during MaxFun Week, October 15th
through 21st. Hi, everybody. I'm Justin McElroy. And I'm Dr. Sydney McElroy. Every Tuesday,
we bring you Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine, a show about all the dumb, weird, terrible ways that we've tried to fix each other over the years.
You know, some light summer listening.
Maybe you want to hear about yogurt enemas or why we tried to eat mummies for a while or why drinking cholera diarrhea sounded like a good idea. That and so much more is waiting for you every Tuesday right here on the Maximum
Fun Network with Sawbones,
a marital tour of
misguided medicine.
Overheard. Overheard.
The segment, the longest
running segment in the history of podcasting
next to
what's that thing?
And is this a thing?
Yeah.
Have you seen this commercial?
Andy Kindler?
Is that you?
Yeah.
Um, and we always like to start our, uh, overheard segment.
Funny things you've overheard with the guest.
Hi.
Hi.
Welcome back.
Um, okay.
So let me start with this,
that I wear my earbuds everywhere.
I never hear anything.
But I was like, oh, I'm coming to Vancouver.
And I was like, I should probably take these earbuds out
and be around an airport.
And I did some prep work.
So these are yesterday's overheards.
Okay.
Fresh.
Yeah, two.
So there was this really annoying new york
woman in front of me on the plane and this nice couple next to uh next to them and they were
whatever do you find her annoying because she doesn't like deep dish pizza she likes the thin
crust something about the bagels in the water too right and um the shagels in the water too, right? And, um, The shagels in the water?
Yeah, they just have bagels floating in the East River.
It's something about the bagels in this water.
They just float, they fish them out.
And, uh,
she, the old, the old, uh,
the couple says, hey, here's my, you have my
card and I put my phone number on the back.
Then the woman goes, oh, and I'll
look up cat music.
A lot of options with that one.
Here's my card and I'll put the phone number on the back.
What's your card for?
Oh, this is from a Monopoly game.
Community chest.
1987 Topps traded Mariner's card.
It's Mark Langston.
And then I was on the train and this guy sneezed.
And before, I'm a big bless you guy.
Yeah.
I'll say bless you.
And before I did it, his girlfriend went, oh God.
And he's the most disgusting man in the world.
And those were my Vancouver overhairs.
Pretty great.
Yeah.
For one day?
Right.
You did scouting on location.
Our baby, she sneezes a lot.
Aw.
Oh, God.
And it's very cute.
But she would just do the sneeze sound, like the ching.
But then yesterday, she started vocalizing them.
Yeah.
Like with, ah, ching. It's the greatest. They grow up so fast. They grow up. I'll tell you. But then yesterday she started vocalizing them.
It's the greatest.
They grow up so fast.
They grow up.
It's one day it's a regular sneeze.
The next day it's a big hearty sneeze.
An Ed Hardy sneeze. It's a sneeze on a conference call.
Mute that, baby.
What's an Ed Hardy sneeze?
It's just glitter goes everywhere.
It's a dragon comes out of your nose.
I haven't overheard, barely.
I was sort of involved in it.
And it was just when we did our live show on Thursday,
I was there at sound check and-
Not to brag.
Not to brag, but there was the woman running the, the soundboard and doing all
the tech stuff.
And she had these two younger people with her, like, you know, early twenties.
And, uh, she was kind of telling them what to do.
And I was like, I've never been, you know, at a club with this, this much, you know,
doing a live podcast.
It doesn't require much staff.
Right.
Uh, I've never done. We it doesn't require much staff. Right.
I've never done. Well, we needed a lot of bouncers.
Yeah.
I've never been at a club where they have, you know, multiple people doing the sound.
And I asked her, are these, are these students?
And she was like, yeah, they're doing a live sound course.
And, and so I, before the show, she was asking me, do you want, do you you have an iPod to play music before the show?
And I was like, no.
Is there music you guys can play?
Yeah, sure.
What kind of music do you want?
And I went, I don't know, like hip hop.
That's what people seem to like.
And one of this 20-year-old woman student went, yes.
And then she suddenly got so excited, and she was like,
what kind of hip-hop?
And I was like, I don't know, like 90s hip-hop?
Oh, yes!
I'm going to play Diggable Planets.
And then the
woman running the show was like,
oh, and I mixed the show, and Diggable Planets
were here. And then the 20-year-old girl was like, cool i mixed the show and diggable planets were here and then the 20 year old girl was like cool i feel like exploded yeah i feel like anytime like anytime you're doing like a
live music course like you can impress these two these kids any way possible like there's a band
through here every night i can just claim that i mixed their show. I went over to the CD bar.
Oh, yeah?
Oh, go on.
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
Cool.
What's the hat?
Yeah.
My overheard comes courtesy of two, I assume people who had been drinking, saying goodbye
to each other on a very quiet street.
And the sign off from the guy to the girl was you, me, zombie walk.
So that plans for next year, I guess.
I don't know if zombie walk is this year.
I think there's still happening.
Yeah, probably towards Halloween.
Yeah, that makes sense for when it would be. Now that's the
prequel to You, Me, and Dupree.
You, Me, and Zombie Walk.
That's a movie that needs a prequel.
Yeah, what was
Dupree up to before all this
whatever happened in the movie?
Yeah, living with matt dylan and his
girlfriend kate hudson kate hudson yep um the zombie walk uh i think there are now multiple
zombie walks in this city because really yeah okay so there's not just one maybe oh maybe that's
because i heard there were because you know people dress up as zombies and walk through the streets and make the world a more magical place.
Yeah.
Brains.
Brains.
But then I heard an ad on the radio for another one that's like out in the suburbs and it's going to be the biggest one ever.
Wow.
And everyone who goes gets their name in the Guinness Book of World Records.
It's become such a thing, hasn't it?
Like, it's just, it's going to be like Smurfs. it's gonna be like smurfs it's gonna go out i
don't know i hope there's like a smurf resurgent explain how this is like smurf
groups of people that are similar looking uh that the whole world is talking about Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey. There's a fascist over there.
I'd love it if there were more things like that.
Because zombies have had the last six or seven years.
It's been zombie times.
Or I guess four or five.
Before that, vampires.
But still vampires.
I want Smurfs.
I want Smurfs.
I want there to be romantic teen fiction about Smurfs. I want Smurfs. I want there to be romantic teen fiction about Smurfs.
It's tough because there's only one lady Smurf and all the rest of them are dudes.
I know, but maybe it could be like a human falls in love with a Smurf.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, forbidden love.
He's the only Smurf in their high school.
I don't hate it.
Yeah, I'm team Gargamel.
I donate it.
Yeah.
I'm team Gargamel.
Now, we also have overheards that are sent into us from around the world. If you want to send one into us, you can send it into SBY at MaximumFun.org.
This first one comes from Evan F. in Somerville, Massachusetts.
M.A.? M.A. This first one comes from Evan F. in Somerville, Massachusetts. MA?
MA.
Above the elevator in my office building this afternoon, this is an overseen, a post-it
note that reads in all caps, I have your sex tape.
Call if you want it back.
And then a phone number.
What was the phone number?
310-760-7511. All right. I will call them. what was the phone number uh three one zero okay seven six zero seven five one one all right
i will call them um was that a real phone number you just gave yeah yeah that's the number the
number hey you know what if that guy didn't want his uh number broadcast on a podcast he shouldn't
have stolen that person's sex tape what what is it he like he he gave them the Paris Hilton sex tape to borrow or.
Oh, right.
Like I have the, I have your sex tape that you lent me.
Oh yeah.
So it's not maybe their sex tape, but it's their sex.
Or he was, maybe he was the director and he gave it to him for editing, you know, like,
Hey, can you work on the sex tape?
Uh, you know, bring the colors up a little bit.
Yeah.
Really bring out the green and the night vision.
The green and the scrambled porn.
Did you hear, you know how all those female celebrity nudes leaked?
Only heard.
Only heard.
Did you hear that the first male celebrity nude has leaked?
No.
Who dat?
Should we start a little theme song?
No.
Okay.
But yeah, Nick Hogan.
Really?
Yeah.
Did you take a look?
No.
You said it with a...
Boat trip.
You said it so vehemently.
I kind of don't believe you.
To be honest...
No, I won't be honest.
To not be honest, I didn't look at any of the celebrity, the women.
Right.
But I'm not being honest.
Did you look at the Hulk Hogan tape?
Oh, yeah.
Well, that was, as a professional wrestler, I have to study the grades.
Yeah, that's true.
That was, yeah, that was something.
Yeah, that was just a hazard of the job.
Has pleasure of the job. Has pleasure of the job.
Perk of the job.
This next one comes from Lucas C.
From your hometown, Chicago.
Sweet home, Chicago.
Last week I was at a concert.
No, I'm going to sing more of the.
Okay, go on.
I thought that was my phone, my ringtone.
The municipal anthem.
Chicago.
Chicago.
Chicago.
It's a pizza place.
Chicago.
The fugitive took place here.
Chicago.
All right.
Ferris Bueller went to high school here.
Chicago.
Weird science. All right. Ferris Bueller went to high school here. Chicago. Weird Science, my mall in Chicago.
Weird Science took place.
What's it called, my mall?
No, that was the mall I went to as a kid.
What was your mall growing up?
Oh, South Center.
Oh, sure.
Mine was Oak Ridge.
Yeah.
North McCourt, what up?
In the house.
Shout outs to our malls.
Yeah.
South Center. Anytime I... Eaton's and the Bay. What up? In the house. Shout outs to our malls. Yeah. South center.
Anytime I...
Eaton's and the Bay.
What?
Whoa.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
All right.
So this, this is a guy who saw a lifelike portrait of Mozart tattooed on the back of a person's
arm.
And with the, it's like an old timey portrait.
And then like in old English, ye olde English font.
Ye olde.
It says, fresh to death.
To death?
Death.
F.
Oh.
See, I, yeah, I don't know what that expression is.
No, neither do I.
And it's definitely, you know, it's, you know, pun, punny.
Uh-huh.
But.
Oh, wait.
Was Mozart deaf?
Oh, yeah.
Beethoven was deaf.
Yeah.
Maybe this person got a bad.
I got it wrong.
Got a bad tattoo.
Well, either way, they got a bad tattoo.
Yeah.
This last one, also from chicago look at me yeah formerly
seattle there it is i love that that's my musical jumping off point to the city that produced
jimmy hendrix and nirvana and Heart and Macklemore.
Oh, I'd love it if Macklemore did like a... A Heart cover?
No, sampled Toss Alice and Scrambled Eggs.
Oh, and it...
That's hip hop.
What are you doing?
Get on this.
Yeah, come on.
I'm an elementary school music teacher.
The other day I had a second grade class in my room
and two kids were going at it, hassling each
other. I finally moved one kid
to the timeout zone, but he
kept saying, Jalen's messing
with me. I looked at him and said,
Tyrone, Jalen is
trying to get a reaction out of you.
Just ignore him. Pretend like Jalen's
not even there. Tyrone
thought about it for a second and then goes,
I'm going to pretend like Jalen's not even there. Tyrone thought about it for a second and then goes, I'm going to pretend like Jalen's in space.
Pretty good.
Good revenge.
The best revenge is sending your opponent out to space.
Into imaginary space.
Yeah.
Living well and sending your opponent to the,
what is the zone that they send Zod to?
Oh, you've never seen the movie.
Well, there's also.
I think it's the 20 mile zone.
There's discovery zone.
When you said timeout zone, like there's that, the child like place where they have like
birthday parties called the discovery zone.
What is the discovery zone?
Like a Chuck E. Cheese-ish type place.
Do kids still go to Chuck E. Cheese?
Well, it's a discovery zone. They send girls there for, and they give them a Chuck E. Cheese-ish type place. Do kids still go to Chuck E. Cheese? Well, it's a discovery zone.
They send girls there and they give them a hand mirror.
Oh, man.
They don't tell guys to do that.
I think we talked about that.
There's no hand mirror.
Yeah.
They never encourage guys to look more at their journals.
Maybe give it a break.
Yeah, exactly.
How about eyes up here?
As much as you stare at your own genitals, your drawing of them is not very accurate.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
But yeah, I just always felt bad for the teacher that had to recommend that. Like that was part of the curriculum. Now you would just use your phone. Yeah, man. But, yeah, I just always felt bad for the teacher that had to recommend that.
Like, that was part of the curriculum.
Now you would just use your phone.
Yeah, exactly.
Just get your friend, just send a Snapchat to your friend and get them to describe it to you.
In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you want to call us, the phone number is 206-339-8328, like these people have.
Hi, Dave and Graham and Grandma Dave.
This is Cheryl from Athens, Georgia, calling in with an overseen.
I was driving to the gym just now, and across the street from my gym, there is this park.
And separating the park from the street is a big chain link fence.
And I was driving behind this SUV and the SUV turned on its emergency lights and slowed down and then stopped in the middle of the road.
And then the person rolled their window down and then threw a squirrel out the window over the fence into the park.
And then the squirrel ran away and the car drove away.
That's pretty crazy.
Wow.
You never saw nothing.
The squirrel was alive.
The squirrel was alive.
Yeah.
You never saw nothing.
Yeah.
Like they just gave it a talking to.
Yeah.
And I get it.
Spread the message to your friend.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Wow.
I like that they put on their hazard lights to do it yeah well i mean if you were
trying to get rid of a squirrel humanely i guess that's what you wouldn't want to let it just
across the street because that would just run back in yeah you gotta you catch it in a jar
yeah take it to the next town over this is your new home what do you catch a squirrel in i guess
a bag i would yeah pillowcase i once had a squirrel in? I guess a bag. Yeah. Pillowcase.
I once had a squirrel in my apartment in the kit.
Like I walked in and I was like,
I just saw a squirrel and we looked eyes.
And like,
I guess like where the air conditioner goes in,
there's like the little,
cause I'm on the second floor.
So like he runs up the power lines,
came into my apartment.
We looked eyes.
I was like,
do you think you looked eyes and locked eyes is the same thing?
We looked,
we looked,
Oh,
you had to call me.
I had to tell you.
You just kept saying,
well,
we looked at locked eyes and,
uh,
luckily the kitchen door was like to,
to my patio was there. And so like,
I like while it was happening,
all I could think about was like,
I got to call this person,
this person, how am I going to, and then like, I opened the door and I got to get you on water skis ASAP.
Great.
Now I'm in charge of a squirrel.
But, uh, I opened the door and like shoot him out and he didn't want to be there.
I didn't want him there.
And I mean, that's my, that's how I got rid of the squirrel.
Yeah.
Now that the weather has turned cold, uh, there's no place mice would rather be than my house.
And I, I did, I thought I did a pretty good job of closing up all the places they could come in.
Yeah.
Now there are like, like I, I, you know, um, uh, you steal wool in all these sort of like the openings in the wall and whatever.
Right.
And now there's like blood where you can see they've
chewed through it oh wow so it's uh the real determined oh boy they're the worst
oh wow um but they got through huh yeah it's uh so i've got i'm uh now that i'm home for a while
this is my new project the The child rearing can wait.
Kid needs friends, though, right?
Yeah, you got to get the kid used to...
Hantavirus?
Yeah, hantavirus.
Here's your next phone call.
Just so, you know, just so that they don't develop an allergy to hantavirus.
Yeah, sure.
Hey, Dave Graham, palpable guest.
This is Brandon calling from Boston with an overheard.
I was at the Trader Joe's earlier tonight,
and I was walking by the bread section,
and these two young women were standing there,
and I hear one of them go,
you know me.
I'm a sourdough freak.
She's super freaky, yeah.
Sourdough, sourdough.
Yeah, I don't care.
I'll make a whole bowl out of it.
I'll eat out of it.
I'm a sourdough freak.
I'll hollow it out and put dip in.
Yeah.
Or maybe she really is a freak.
She's got some sort of weird sex thing.
Sourdough sex thing.
Is that weird?
What?
No, I guess not.
You're right. You're jud're judgy yeah it takes all stripes
um all those yeah it takes all dose
i don't know i think i'm fine with sourdough i wouldn't call myself a freak about it you know
i'll take it if it's uh if it's being offered yeah i mean if you put thought into what bread
would go best with the surrounding meats and cheeses, then yeah, I trust you.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, at least you're not a raisin bread freak.
You're making everything with raisin bread.
Oh, yeah.
Or banana bread.
I'm trying to eat a Monte Cristo over here.
Yeah.
Raisin bread Monte Cristo.
That feels like something I would have eaten at one point in my life.
You know, in whatever flavor town.
What's that where Guy Fieri lives?
He lives in donkey sauce country.
Here's your final over.
Hey, grand palpable guest.
This is Brandon calling.
That's the one we just did.
Yeah.
Hey, grand pal. What? And this one girl is like I'm a real holla free yeah I am
yes this is Roger from Chicago I was calling over her day or time I'm a
language therapist and I work in a hospital.
I'm trying to get my patients to speak and try to communicate after, you know,
strokes or anything like that.
And I was trying to speak to a patient, you know, tell me what your name is.
I was saying, you know, can you speak to me?
What is your name? And then from across
the room, the patient's daughter's phone replied, hello, my name is Siri. And we all had a good
laugh.
Pretty clever.
Yeah.
Yeah. Pretty quick on the draw. So this was a guy that works as a speech therapist?
Yeah, I guess for people who
he said people who've had strokes and stuff right like but that just sounds a lot like um
like a ghost hunter like who's here yeah tell me your name or uh like james lipton is uh this
character with us yeah uh can we speak with Bojack Horseman?
That's going to be the worst thing about being an actor.
Can you do the character, do the things that you do?
Oh, boy.
I mean, also auditions.
Sure, yeah.
Also the acting process sounds gorgeous.
Signed 8x10s on walls of delis. Oh, no the highlight yeah yeah carrying those around every deli you go to yeah i have
them pre-signed with uh i check out the deli's name i pre-sign it yeah and just yeah yeah i've
sent out headshots to a bunch of delis already yeah just in hopes that i've become famous enough there's only i think
one place in town that i know of that has the sign headshot oh yeah where the elbow room cafe
uh downtown i think that's the only one i don't there might maybe there's a dry cleaner somewhere
yeah but you know like affiliate i'm looking for channel channel two news guy channel five uh oh
yeah news celebrities guy who uh you know shot a movie in town but like uh you know rutger hauer
um well that brings us to the end of this here podcast. Colt, do you have things?
Now, keeping in mind, this will be coming out one week from today on the 13th.
Oh, well, if you're in Tokyo, Japan or the surrounding area, come visit me as I tour Japan for the next three weeks.
You're a Harajuku girl.
Is that correct?
I'm a Jew.
I don't know about the Hiro part.
Just a Jew.
Just a Jew in Tokyo. Me and Bill Murray are making a Jew. I don't know about the hiro part. Just a Jew. Just a Jew in Tokyo.
Me and Bill Murray are making a documentary.
No.
Yeah.
First of all, let me say, I'm glad all my Chicago people came out for this podcast.
Yeah.
All the overhersed.
Everyone.
Yeah.
Well done, everybody.
Thank you.
Colcomana.com is my website.
I tour constantly all over the world.
You really do. i really do i
really do yeah uh i was in scotland last uh month newfoundland since i've been last time i went to
india i went to peru uh yeah we'll do that a whole other podcast yeah and uh my dates and uh stuff is
on my website colcomana.com also uh i I have a YouTube series where I make fun of wrestling promos called
WorstPromoEver.com. Oh yeah, that's great.
And I have a million things, but
at ColeKabana, Instagram, and
Twitter. And if you want to see a
documentary that I put out based on the life of
an independent wrestler, that's pretty funny
and silly, but also, like, you can't
believe this is how these people live.
I have a movie called The Wrestling Road Diaries 2,
title inspired by Look Who's Talking 2. Why would would you not right i mean they gave me that gold
i'm i'm working with was bruce willis the baby in that yeah all right and well in two it was also
roseanne barr it wasn't roseanne barr a dog someone was a dog in one of them oh i think that
was look who's talking now. Which was the third one.
Yeah.
Look Who's Talking Thrice.
Which was John Ritter.
Yeah.
And a kid that was
kind of a problem.
So be on the lookout
for Wrestling Road Diaries now.
That'll be the third one.
Or the dogs.
Yeah.
Anything to plug?
Maximumfun.org
for the recap of this episode
featuring pictures and video
of Johnny Gonzalez
yes, thank you
the fugitive in Chicago
in Chicago
and yeah, if you like the show
head over to MaximumFun.org
check out our brother and sister podcasts
and the blog recap
that Dave does each and every week.
That we already talked about.
We just talked about.
And if you want to
follow the progress of this
Wilderness Man thing I'm doing,
it's Wilderness Man,
at Wilderness Man with three A's.
On Twitter.
Yeah, on Twitter.
Because the website, I don't know where, I don't know what the address is.
Like, I know that it's Comedy Coup, but it's.ca slash cbc slash, you know what I mean?
Slash slash fanfic.
And yeah, thank you so much for being our guest.
Of course.
You guys are one of my, if not my favorite podcast.
I listen every week.
I love it.
And thanks for having me back on.
Oh, anytime.
And everybody out there, if you like the show, tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode.
Stop podcasting yourself. Bye.
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