Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 540 - Aunt Sheila

Episode Date: July 23, 2018

Abby’s Aunt Sheila Campbell joins us to talk Swedish candy, Morrissey, and indoor yard sales.

Hey everybody, before we start the show, I just wanted to let you know about some live shows that are happening this fall in Canada. We will be doing a live Stop Podcasting Yourself September 23rd at JFL 42 in Toronto, September 25th in Winnipeg, October 4th in Calgary, October 5th in Edmonton, and October 6th in Saskatoon. There's a Vancouver date coming at one point, but we don't have info on that yet. Okay, tickets for all these shows are on sale right now. Go to MaximumFun.org, click on episode 540, and there are links to all the shows. Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo! Woo! hello everybody and welcome to episode number 540 of stop by guessing yourself my name is graham clark and with me as always is a master a monster of the ukulele mr dave shumka oh please i don't uh look i bought that ukulele a few months ago Yeah It comes with a lot of baggage culturally It sure does There's a lot of like There's a lot of just you know Ukulele people Are you know

They're sort of despised They're a little They're a little too cute I got it because I didn't I wanted to be able to play a guitar around my kids and didn't want to have to keep a big guitar upstairs. Yeah. And now I'm the reluctant master of the ukulele.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, some people have a ukulele thrust upon them. Yeah. Oh, boy. And you're just wanting to use it. But I didn't have it thrust upon me. I backed up on it. Gross.

Our guest today, very exciting. First time to the podcast. One of our, in the very early days of the podcast. One of our first ever listeners. One of our long standing supporters. She's just wonderful. We're so glad to have her here. It's everybody's Aunt Sheila, everyone.

Thank you for having me. I'm delighted. Thank you so much. Happy to be everybody's aunt. Yeah. It's, did you ever think that they'd be everyone's aunt? On the episode title, are we calling this Aunt Sheila? Or are we calling it?

I'd say so. Okay. Yeah. We don't need to say your real name. Well, I'm not sure how many people remember that Abby was a Campbell once upon a time. Yeah. Yeah. She.

I'm Abby's Aunt Sheila. Yeah. Campbell. Sheila Campbell. Yeah. There you go. It checks out. If you're new to the show and you need a flow chart, Abby is my wife.

Also her own person. Sheila is her aunt. Also her own person. Yeah. her aunt. Also her own person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've looked around the room for a little. No, I was thinking of this morning when I woke up. I was like, yeah. Is everyone in the family their own person?

No, sometimes you'll be at a party and there will be a cousin who's just somebody's cousin. That's true. They're not really their own person. I don't feel like I'm my own person ever since I was a child soldier for Coney. Oh, did you? I didn't know that you served That was about six years ago, yeah.

Was this pre-Ukulele or post-Ukulele? This was pre-Ukulele. I had to kind of get the Ukulele in. I thought that was part of your Ukrainian heritage. The Ukulele. Sheila, everybody. Hi. Do you want to get to know us?

I do. Get to know us. Now you are here. You're on a long, like a good. In the middle of a four week visit to British Columbia. Yeah. From Sweden. From Sweden.

Let's go through your life. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's comb through the highlights. This is where Graham and I Are contemporaries I'm from Calgary originally Yeah that's right

Yeah What high school did you go to? You didn't I didn't South or north Dropped out right after Well we discussed it We were born

At different hospitals You were born in General General that's right I was born at Foothills Okay Dalmarnock Was the name of the street where we lived. Dalmarnock?

Yeah. Huh. So you ended up with a really weird porno name. This is how I know, because at some stage I asked my father, hey. What's the first street? What's the first street we lived on? That I lived on, and I was Dalmarnock. Well, yeah, that is, actually, Louise Dalmarnock.

The number of streets that are. Yes, exactly. Or no, your first pet. When I was, when I was a young man, the formula seemed a lot simpler. Yeah. Your first, your first porno name. Yeah. My first porno name.

Is what you'd give to your first pet. Yeah. Yeah. No, you took your, your porno name was your first pet's name. Yeah. And your mother's maiden name. And your soap opera name was your middle name and the street you grew up on. But now, if you told everybody those three things, then you'd be able to hack into most of your kids.

Yeah, that's true. What was your porno name, if I may ask? Going by the logic of... Going by pet and street. Ham and Cheese Daily. daily oh I love it what was ham and cheese a hamster how about you Graham

no wait no that's my mother's maiden name is daily oh so it's not like every day you're eating ham and cheese

no but oh ham and cheese daily is just a great yeah so it wasn't the street I grew up on. It was First Pet and Mother's Maiden Name. Oh, okay.

Yeah, so I guess mine was First Pet, Mother's Maiden Name. Oh, dear. Sophie Mason. Oh, that's very porno. Yeah, very porno. Very red shoe dyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you?

Mine sounds made up But it would be Puss young Puss young Yeah Puss young Pretty good That is pretty good I went to

Well comedian Riel Han I went to school With her brother Jesse And he said The body Han Sure

And he said He was like When we were all going around in high school doing this, he's like, he figured his out. And he's like, Goldie Han. Really? Yeah. And then like years later, I met Riel. And I was like, isn't that weird that his porno name is Goldie Han? And she was like, we never had a dog named Goldie. Oh, amazing.

He blew everyone's mind. but he was a liar. He was just a straight up liar. No, he was being funny. He's a very funny guy. Yeah, I don't know I've ever heard that street name. So I don't know where that is. Delmonico? There's a number of streets in that area that all start with D,

I think. If you need the D. Maybe you live in Dalhousie. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Sounds vaguely familiar. What are the, what are the,

this is going back. How do they name streets where, in Calgary? They kind of, a neighborhood will have a, yeah, a themed thing.

Yeah, same here. Yeah. We'll do trees. Yeah. And then we'll do battles sure like there's blenheim and alpine and oliver oh right okay i think so or like something military okay and waterloo yeah i just thought it was great songs because they would just they would pay a lot of trees and then a lot of like an animal. Like there was like deer run and everything was deer something. Like every street was deer something.

And over like a few blocks over it's provinces. Right. But it's an incomplete list. Yeah. And it's not in the right order because it starts in the right order. And the east to west divide falls on Quebec. On Quebec. Yeah.

Right. How do you know, did you live in Vancouver for long? I did. So we've only gone to a city and porno name of Perth. Yeah. That's right. What, then you went to Ontario. Yeah.

Then afterward, so I graduated from high school in Ontario. And two days later, my parents said, here's a plane ticket. Bye. Oh, really? Yeah. You're the youngest of six? I'm the youngest of six, which is a bit of the overlap why Abby and I have a confusing relationship for other people. I was eight when Abby was born.

Okay. And yeah, I went to high school in Ontario. My parents said we got a ton of grandkids. We're Scottish. Right. And we're cheap bastards. And you're paying your own way now. So I got a one-way ticket to Vancouver.

Now, why did they feel the need to send you across the country? My sister Kathy lived in Vancouver. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Who is also Abby's aunt. Abby's aunt Kathy. And then it was a day trip to Whistler that turned into never going to university.

Really? Yeah. So you went up and you were in a chant. That's sort of the. That's the story. That's the path. Yeah. Yeah.

Same with Banff. That's like the big, everybody goes for, you know, I'm just going to work there for a summer. Eight years later. Yeah. Yeah. But between Vancouver and Whistler was eight years. And then I went to Europe for a three-month vacation in 1998.

And have not lived there. And that's the end of it. Anywhere there. Yeah. What did you do when you were up in Whistler? Oh, a mixed bag of things. The very first job was a chambermaid at Chateau Whistler. Oh, a mixed bag of things. The very first job was a chambermaid

at Chateau Whistler. Oh, yeah. At staff housing. You're doing a podcast tour of Vancouver right now. You're going to be on Retail Nightmares. We're trying to scoop them.

Yeah, yeah. We're getting all the important bits out. But then there was a big mudslide that shut down all the business in Whistler. So the work dried out. So you had to be creative after that. Unless you were like a big mudslide that shut down all the business in Whistler. So the work dried out.

So you had to be creative after that. Unless you were like on that mudslide crew. Yeah. Nothing dried out there. Whistling Dixie. But I did a few different things. I worked at the grocery store right in the village. Right.

Opposite the liquor store. And I just went in there the other day with my kids. And I was pleased it was still the same layout oh really very efficient yeah did you tell like mom used to work here oh yeah and they don't give a shit yeah they're mad if i've heard if any song is a remake and i know it you know like deadpool you know there's a lot of like 90s music in it i know my children shouldn't have watched deadpool but we were all. They got to learn about Deadpool.

We were halfway in, guys. And Deadpool sang all these 90s songs in it. Yeah. But they don't want any part of that. They don't want any of these new like. They don't want to know what I know, where I've been. They just. You don't know.

They don't want to know that this was originally a Brian Adams song. Right. And now it's some lady. Yeah. I don't want to know that this was originally a Brian Adams song. Right. And now it's some lady. Yeah. I don't want to know that either, really. Yeah, that every trailer that comes out now is a slowed down 90s song, sung kind of like over exploding images and whatever. It's, you know, that was Blue by Eiffel 65. Yeah, I've got a blue house with a blue window.

I've got a blue house with a blue window Blue is the color of all that I wear Bless them though Imagine the money they've made I hope they've made Well, they're little blue men They are Eiffel 65, where were you when it happened? I was in Switzerland

Okay I was over Switzerland. Okay. Yeah. I was over there living. This is part of my three-month vacation that turned into seven years. That was 98? Yeah. Oh, boy. Does this check out?

Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm like, okay, what else was happening around the time? I mean, I don't know if Switzerland had sex and candy. Oh, I don't know. I was still here for the sex and candy. Oh, I don't know. I was still here for the sex and candy. Oh, sure. Okay.

Yeah. And then, so you, you travel all over Europe or did you hit Switzerland? You're like, I'm hanging out here for years. I actually, I got to tag along with my brother, Abby's dad, at work. He flew, he traded in his business class ticket for economy tickets and I just got to tag along

wherever he went and he was in the cement industry. So, those, these were hits and misses. Tell us about the misses. I want to know. Well,

I mean, you could just end up in the ass end of nowhere. There's, I hate to say any place after that for fear of getting death threats. Sure. But we,

let's say we don't have any listeners in Sri Lanka lanka oh i didn't actually get to go to sri lanka but i've heard only wonderful things okay it's india's teardrop it is um went to australia twice in six months which was pretty cool yeah brisbane and i went to byron Bay to do the hippies. Sippies. Yeah. All the scratchies and churchies. What are the? Scratchies are like rubbies, I believe, if I can go to your nomenclature. Yeah, yeah.

Scratchies. Scratchies. Rubbies for anyone who's new to the show. Basically, people who drink rubbing alcohol. I mean, they'll drink, you know they'll drink a vanilla extract or anything. Bitters. Diamond tap. And then what were the other ones?

Churchies. So like missionaries or? Just Christians. Holy rollers. Holy rollers. Then there's bikies, which were bikers. Bikers. I don't have time to say anything in Australian.

I love, bikies sound so quaint. I know. For what it is. This bike is going to fuck you up. Yeah. Bikies. Crikey. Crikey, it's on bikies.

Did you surf? Oh, God, no. No. No. Yeah, right? I'm not, I know. Right? No.

I'm a pool person. Yeah. I fear, I fear the lakes are the worst. Mm-hmm. So goopy. Yeah, so goopy. There might be a big fish in there that everybody tried to catch, you know, big catfish. Oceans at least, you know, you have to step on a bunch of like sharp stuff and then you're good.

Yeah. Then you're good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever been to a beach that's just like got nothing sharp and it's just good? Just nice sand. That's what I'm talking about. Nice. It to a beach that's just like got nothing sharp and it's just good? Just nice sand. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Nice.

It's a sweet spot. I think once when I was a kid, like in Florida, and I was like, yeah, this is it. Like just wading into like a warm bath. We've got beautiful beaches where we live in Sweden. Sweden. And it's beautiful white sand and the water's warm, but you have to walk like five plus minutes before it's even up over your, like halfway up your leg. Really? Yeah.

Ah, that's weird. There's pros and cons. What, so how much of your life, because you said earlier you lived in Switzerland. Yeah. Now you live in Sweden. What portion of your life is telling people the difference between those things? Oh, it comes up a lot, especially when people ask where I met Magnus, because we met in Switzerland.

Yes. But he is Swedish. Yes. And that'll fuck a bitch up. And you're neither. Yeah. Are you Swedish yet? Yes.

Okay. I have full Swedish citizenship. Cool. What's that like? Yeah. Is it a difficult path to become a full Swede? No. Yeah. What's that like? Yeah. Is it a difficult path to become a full Swede? No. Yeah.

For the information that I brought or what was on my application, you know, I don't have a criminal record. I'm not trying to. But you needed one to become a Swedish. To become a Swedish. Well, I have a British passport as well. Oh, nice. Because of family ancestry, my mom. But then once the

whole Brexit thing started to collapse, somebody made some connection that if you're ever on a vacation and you need to go to different embassies.

Right. You know, like I want to go to the same embassy as everybody in my family. Yeah. So that's why. That's a fun trip.

Yeah. When I go on vacation, I try to visit as many embassies as I can. I mean, like if Godzilla comes and gets us all. Sure. That's a fun trip. Yeah. When I go on vacation, I try to visit as many embassies as I can. I mean, like if Godzilla comes and gets us all. Sure. We have to report. And hopefully your government can save you remotely.

But not you. But not one of your children. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder, Godzilla, he never like did a European tour. No, he didn't. Yeah. Or she.

Or she. Oh, thank you, he didn't. Yeah. Or she. Or she. Oh, thank you. That's right. Yeah. Or non-binary Godzilla. Yes. Yes. Yes.

No, it's not. It's not Godzissa. Godzilla with a Y. What, and how was learning Swedish? Figuring out what people were talking about is quite rewarding. It feels like you can get in there and figure it out pretty quickly, but coughing it up, oh, you got to be prepared to sound like a jackass. Oh, really?

I really went the bad Dracula route before I got better with the Swedish, but I'm quite comfortable in Swedish now. I say stupid shit in English. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So once you get past that. And like, is it a culture? Cause there's some cultures are very like,

go ahead, go ahead and try your language and I'll sit here and let you try it out. And then some cultures, maybe not so much. I think the, the Northern Europeans generally are so good at English. It serves as a disadvantage. So when people stop saying, we can just do this in English, it's quite a pat on the back.

Yeah. That's very cool. So the one thing that I always remember about the Swedish language that you taught me that I can never remember. You said you remembered it though. But like, I can, I know the concept. Okay. Oh, I know where we're going. It's, I think there's maybe seven very similar.

And I'm not going to be able to nail them down. Okay. But we're, you are going to have to. Okay. And that's what you're here for. There are, so it's the, something that sounds along the lines of, and these are all different. One of them is a man's name. An acorn.

Okay, what's an acorn? It's an ek-olon. Ek-olon. Olon. Yeah, olon. Olon. Yeah. And then there's the tip of a goat's penis,

which is a yet-olon. Yet-olon. This is good. This is all news I can use. So is the olon the same in both? I think Because it looks like an acorn What part is goat?

Yet? And then Olan is just penis So an acorn Is a tree's penis? An oak penis That's what street I grew up on I lied to you guys earlier I grew up on oak penis

And then there's beer Which is Ul Ale Yeah Then there's a name A guy's name Which is

Ula Ula Ula Putting Okay Is that Noomi Rapace's husband? Ex-husband, yes Who's that?

He's aged very well She was She was in the Original Girl with the Dragon tattoo. Ah, yes. Oh, they split up? They did.

I'm just learning about this now. Yeah. Lumi Rapace and Ula. Ula. Ula. Ula. Ula. Ule.

Ula Rapace. But then, like the Spanish word for hello, hola. Hola. Means to kind of like prank your buddies by rubbing your penis on stuff. Oh man, what a rich language. Which is something I thought Moby invented. Did you remember?

Did you hear that story? Was Moby putting his wanger on stuff? Moby gave this interview once where he, it was a British magazine interview. It was a game he called Knob Touch Oh Jesus, Moby Workshop the name just a little bit I think what you would call it in England is Knob Touch Knob Touch

Hobnobbing Yeah, hobnobbing, sure Acorn penis Sure Minus the acorn, minus the oak But what that game is Is if you're in A very crowded room

You just open your pants up Like a party Okay Oh it's like a bear Yeah yeah yeah Oh geez Louise That's Moby Yeah

Yikes Yikes Time's up Moby Yeah yeah yeah Keeping your pants Moby So this is If only there was like Some kind of Moby dick thing we could. It's too far gone.

And that's, that's the, all you need to know to get the passport is all the ulle. Yep. You have to know how to say poop. That's vice. Yeah. Vice. Bo-vice. Do you Never having to

Like I've never Been a citizen Of another country Like I've never had to You have an Irish I have a passport But I'm not From the Republic of Ireland

That's right Yeah That's the good one Is that the good one? Yeah Why is that the good one? Because That's not tied to

That's That's got no Brexit Oh No Brexit No Brexit No Brexit No Brexit You're still in the EU good one because uh that's not tied to that's that's got no brexit oh no brexit no brexit you're still in the eu yes um but like do you have to do is there like a ceremony or anything like that you have to write when i got my british one i had to go in and say an oath to the queen to the queen And I could either say it on her name. And she was like, yes, queen. Is that the entire oath?

Yes, queen, yes. But there was no frivolity with the Swedish one. You just sent in an application. And then you got a, I don't know, like a little certificate back that said congratulations. Wow. Swedish citizen. Swedish citizen. Come to our embassy for halloween party do you is there halloween in sweden no not really which is shocking given how much they love candy

i don't know what they're thinking yeah yeah it's a night of giving away candy they're obsessed with Obsessed with bulk candy. The candy section. With bulk candy. Yeah. Wow. Loose goodies. Loose goodies? Yeah. The candy section in the grocery store is like as big as the. Cereal aisle here. Yeah. Yeah. Really?

And it's Saturday night. You going for your loose goodies? Which translates, I'm guessing, to loose goodies? Loose candies. Oh, loose goodies. Loose candies Oh, loose goodies Loose goodies, yeah What is, what's like the top? Licorice

Salty licorice Yeah, Dave's on it But that is not a candy That doesn't taste good No, yeah, that's like I would consider that nutritious A lot of gelatin-based things Gummies?

Your gummy frogs your worms your rats your ferraris your sour keys what's a like a ferrari like a little car exactly gummy rari oh cool like a formula one style ferrari yeah yeah sure never had yeah um and what about chocolates what do they what do they got in the chocolate world yeah they're they're into their chocolates they've got something that doesn't uh according to eu rules doesn't quite uh meet chocolate standards but swedes are very excited about their marabous and their plops plop plop yeah yeah that's the one i've seen and what's the racist one oh the sheena the one that says china and it's a guy wearing uh i don't know the name of the hat. Pardon me. Yeah, we know.

The Chapeau Chinois. Chapeau Chinois, yeah. You're going to need a, like a translating Babel fish to get through this. Yeah, we haven't got to the Chinese or twigs yet. John Doe. All the, like the slanty eyes and buck teeth, maybe. That's funny. Thanks. Yeah.

Upsetting. But I think they've had to change it. No. Sensibly. Yeah. Sorry I asked. Because like would you say the chocolate over there

is better over there? I'd say it's the same as what we're looking at here. Like a Cadbury kind of thing. And yeah, again I'm not a chocolate person. You're a gummy person. Chips. I like my chips. Okay, you're

savory. Yeah. What's your go-to chip? When here, it will be the Lay's sour cream and onion. Oh, okay. I will gladly eat myself sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's something you'll eat yourself sick outside of ice cream? Oh.

Like, I can mindlessly eat a lot of, we just bought these little pretzel bites with peanut butter inside. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I'll just have like three before breakfast, like three handfuls. Do you really like them or is it just like satisfying? It's a very satisfying, like I don't, I'm not a chip person. Okay. And so I got to get my salt somewhere. My doctor said my sodium levels are dangerously low.

Oh no. So I've been trying to drink club soda. We'll get you that salt like for your birthday. Yeah. Just put it on the microphone. You can take a little hit. But yes, I'll lick the microphone. No, I don't think I can.

I mean, I could eat myself sick on any number of things i like i like all food yeah i mostly i just like uh i don't eat myself sick my problem is i will eat things before they are cooled enough so i will just burn my mouth on all the chowders and spring rolls what's your go-to eat yourself sick? Like anything, like a caramel, like anything kind of chewy like that. A Macintosh toffee? Yeah, I'll mindlessly just, you know,

throw back an entire bag of reasons or a Werther's chewy the other day. Very bad. You're worth it, Graham. Very bad. You're worth it. We had some, we made a little bit of pesto linguine with chicken There's chewy. The other day. Very bad. You're worth it, Graham. You're worth it. We had some. Thank you.

We made a little bit of pesto linguine with chicken. And we had too much. You and your people? Well, pardon? You and your people? Yeah. I made me. Pizzani. My people had some soylent green pesto.

Oh, yes. And yeah, so, but we had too much. And so I took the leftovers to work and it was too much, but I couldn't let the little last little bit go to waste. Yeah. Not, not even go to waste. We just don't have anywhere. Like my office doesn't have a good place to throw away food. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, well, I could either carry this home or have a big enough lunch that I do not want dinner. Yeah. or have a big enough lunch that I do not want dinner. Yeah, I've done that where it's just like more convenient to just finish, especially at a restaurant where you're like,

well, we could pack up these two dumplings. And you're like, no, I'll eat them even though it's going to make me sick. I paid for them. They're mine. Yeah, don't take them away. I'll pick at them still. People are starving somewhere. Yeah. But no one would want these.

It's weird because sometimes I have got a thing to go and then you're like, I'll give it to somebody who's asking for change or something. And they don't want it. No. Then why would they want it? Yeah. This is them carrying around a box of trash. Have you ever had an encounter where you give somebody something and they're pissed? Yes. Okay. Yeah. where you give somebody something and they're pissed yes okay yeah i've i've had both uh

monetary situations where they felt that the amount i gave them was too low okay uh and also the food thing where i'm like do you want this but even i i'm like i could put myself in their shoes and be like why would i want that's just what being a parent is like. You know? Yeah. Here's your food. Fuck you, lady. I don't want any of this. When do kids figure out that they don't have to do everything that you tell them? Oh, yeah. With eating before that.

Yeah. As soon as they figure out, no. As soon as they figure out throw. Throw, then no. Before they realize they have a height advantage in a high chair. Yeah. They can just throw, wipe the tray clean. You have children.

I do, two boys. That you know of. Yep, that I know of. And do they fight all the time? Are they always at each other's throats? There's a little bit of bear cub wrestling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rasslin'.

There's many videos that go back with, Rassle me! So that was one of the first things Louie knew how to say. Rassle me? Rassle me! He'd say to Albert, just jump on him. That's great! Yep.

So we got some little bear cubs. Yeah. Yeah. How old are they now? They're turning eight and ten. One's a some little bear cubs. Yeah. Yeah. How old are they now? Uh, they're turning eight and 10. One's a real like little rugby player and the other one's long and noodley. Oh really? Yeah.

So, so real, like you got, you got one of each. Yeah. A long noodley. Maybe he's, maybe he's a soft and sensitive and the other one's tough and a rugby player. I think he could do some serious damage just by throwing his weight around. The little brother. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you weigh them every day? No, but we had to weigh them every other day. No, we had to weigh them for the. That would be so weird. Something we did recently. Yeah. Pre-dinner, post-dinner. Oh, well, like they'd switch off.

Yeah, yeah. Like, it's my day to get weighed. We did just weigh them recently because of a life jacket situation. Oh. And discovered that they're only six pounds apart. Huh. In their three years.

Who's got the advantage? Older or younger? Older, barely. Yeah. Older, barely. Wow.

The, six pounds is not much of an advantage. Not for three years. None the richer. I loved weighing myself when I was a kid. Yeah. Like just jumping on that big old scale. Yeah.

I liked where you moved the little weights. Oh, sure. That felt like you were doing a little project. Yeah, it looked so, I could see it on TV. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Do you still weigh yourselves? Yeah. No.

I haven't weighed myself. Maybe I weighed myself two months ago, didn't like the results. No, that's the whole thing. I weigh myself about once a week. Yeah. You have a scale here or is it at the gym? At the gym. Okay.

It's more fun at the gym. Yeah. So everyone gathers around. Dave, Dave, Dave. Well, because I need to weigh myself a lot because of MMA. And just so I know what weight class I'm in. Yeah, yeah. I'm still in scrawny.

What is it? Pencil neck scrawny. Yeah. Butterfly. Poindexter. Cruiserweight. And loserweight. Yeah, I mean, I'm like in sort of the big belly, skinny arms division.

Do you feel like it's fluctuating at all now that you're a man? It goes, there's like a 10 pound window. Do you weigh yourself? Don't. I've had the same scale with the battery that needs to be changed and every now and then I'll say I'm just going

to change the battery but then I realize it's the one that looks like a coin. Yeah. Oh sure. And I don't have it. Well there's so many

that look like a coin. There's totally like they're all different coin size ones. And there's so many different size coins. And I never have those ones on hand.

I used to have a bit about buying batteries that kind of battery and trying to describe it to the salesman. Like if a mouse needed a silver hockey puck. I don't think I could even get within, I don't think I could get so close guessing. No? I really don't know. Well, I had to guess. Your weight? Yeah. Okay, let me pick you up.

Oh! I let the Your weight? Yeah. Okay, let me pick you up. Oh. I let the person at the driver's license office guess. Lift you up? Well, yeah, because they had my old license, and then I said, what do you think? On what side do you think I fall? Do you think I'm still the same? You get the little yodel-ay-hee-hoo guy going up.

Oh, yeah. Everybody in the office stopped what they were doing hi uh but yeah

I kept it the same but that can't it can't be right um who cares right

yeah I would let the my doctor that's who oh boy the um yeah when you're like

robbing a store and like when you're robbing a store and at 7-11 there's like a on the door oh yeah as you're like robbing a store and like when you're robbing a store and at 7-11 there's like a on the door oh yeah as you're walking out even if I guess even if you're not robbing a store that thing is there

that says the heights they should have a scale that you step on oh as you go in and out and if it hits a bell you get yeah yeah yeah some of those nachos with that hot liquid cheese. Oh, yeah. Do they still have that?

They do. Do they not have that in Sweden? I don't know. Oh, do they have 7-Elevens? Yeah, we do. We got 7-Eleven, but we don't often have Slurpees. Right. It's like Thailand.

Yeah. In Thailand, 7-Eleven is everywhere, but it's just the sign. It's hit and miss with the Slurpees. Oh, really? That's too bad. I don't think I've with the Slurpees. Oh, really? That's too bad. I don't think I've seen the hot liquid cheese. HLC. Yeah.

What do you need to get when you get to Canada every time or to North America? You got to get those chips. You got to get good pharmaceuticals that would otherwise be a prescription in Sweden. Ah. So we get a lot of that sort of stuff. Some tooth, load up on cheap toothbrushes.

Oh. You're like little battery operated guys. Oh, okay. Oh, sure. Like with. I don't know. I feel like I just come here and eat the food. Yeah.

But what food do you have to get? Well, there's a difference between what I eat and what I bring home, I would say. But I don't know. It's just some things are cheaper. Like sushi. You get more for your money. Yeah. Fish and know. It's, it's just some things are cheaper. Like sushi. You get more for your money. Yeah. Fish and chips.

You can't get a good fish and chip. In this. Over in Sweden. Oh, can you get, you can get it here? We can get, I didn't know we had fish and chip culture here. Yeah, sure we do. We're on the sea. I mean, I'm on the sea too.

Yeah, we're on the sea. Um, oh, you know what? I really like just going in the grocery store and looking at stuff. It's either the nostalgia of remembering we had red Robin flour as a kid growing up, or this is the instant oatmeal that I ate and myself sick on again as a child, locked myself in the pantry and ate it out of the bag. Just dry? Oh, it's so good, Graham. Flour? Yes.

No, it's, it's like you add water. It's got everything in it. It's got all the oats and the sugar. Oh, yeah, so good, Graham. Flour? Yes. No, it's like you add water. It's got everything in it. It's got all the oats and the sugar. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can make cookies or you can make muffins or you can just lock yourself in the pantry and jam your little mitts in there. I can really picture that too. Youngest of six.

Did you say Red Robin or Robin Hood? Oh, I don't know, but it is Robin Hood. Yeah. Yeah. If it was Red Robin, they do a great onion ring tower. Oh, they do. Yeah. Is that part of your Canadian history at all? Part of my culture.

I think that's not even a Canadian thing. I think it's a West Coast thing. Oh, really? I think they have it in Washington and California. They had it in Alberta. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Definitely, because nonstop pop, you could go and bottomless fries. That's where I learned about bottomless fries. What about the Pop Shop? Is that an Ontario thing? No, they have. I remember seeing it. They still have it now. These are sodas.

Sodas that have like a retro label. Yeah. And they're made with cane sugar. They're good. And I believe it's Pop Shoppy. Yeah. Is it Poppy Shoppy? No, it's not.

Papay Shopay? What are it's not. Poppe Shoppe? What are the top five items from Ikea? You're going to go for the Poang chair. Yeah, okay, classic. You're going to take a bag home. You're going to get some batteries. Yeah. Toilet brush.

Oh, a bag. Like the bag, yeah. B-A-A. Toilet brush. Yeah. I call it a dish brush. My people call it. We call it a dish brush. My people call it. We call it a sling blade.

And then for rounding out number five, what do people like to get? A Ziploc bag. Yeah, Ziploc bags. Or the little clippy guys. Yeah, little clippy guys. That's probably my top two. Yeah. What I like is.

Well, you said bag already. The bag is good. Yeah, the bag itself. Yeah, you're right. I don't know if I want a Poang chair, but I'm going to say the napkins. Oh, napkins. The napkins. You get a big cube of them.

I'm not loading up every week on a chair, am I? No. I don't go that often. Tea candles. Yeah. Boy, no. But that was, I remember like that was no trip to Ikea was complete without buying. Oh, you got to get those.

Let's say a thousand. without buying let's say a thousand yeah let's say a thousand tea candles let's say and for me I'll round it out with a picture frame

yeah a ribba yeah let's say yeah a nice picture frame when's the last time you went to Ikea

uh 2005 has anything changed that much I know that they have new products but it's still the same vibe right yeah it's still the same vibe, right?

Yeah, it's all the same vibe. They're trying to go more sustainable. And anybody that works for IKEA isn't traveling on business class anymore. You're staying in crappy hotels like everybody else. You're flying economy like everybody else. That's not sustainable. What? What does flying economy have to do with sustainability?

I think they're just trying to, nobody's special in Sweden. Right. So I think that sort of feeds into their mentality. What does that mean, nobody's special in Sweden? It means we're all the same. I like that. Don't think you're all fancy. Oh, really?

Just because you have more money doesn't mean you're more valuable. They're socialists. Yeah, yeah. Socialists. What's the phrase that means? Phrase that pays? What's the phrase that means nobody's special? mean you're more more valuable and they're socialists yeah yeah is it was there what's the phrase that means phrase the pace what's the phrase that means nobody's special uh is there like a swedish there's a there's yant the login which is a nordic law that is that feeds into it that's part of it but maybe what you're thinking of is lagom yeah what does that mean uh that means

just right. Oh, sure. Just enough. But it differs from person to person to situation to situation. Okay. So if we have some water. Yeah. And you're our greatest warrior. Yeah.

You should get the water first and maybe have more. Right. Maybe I am the, you know, the only other adult. Right. So I'd have a little bit, but then Dave's our sickly child. Right. So we'll probably just be like,

just give him enough, but he's sickly. He's dead weight anyway. Yeah. Oh. That's what that means. That's not what I, oh boy.

Yeah. That's like, yeah, you're, you're our greatest warrior, but you know, he'll be an economy. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Still, you're not, you're not fancy. I'm really oversimplifying Norse. Well, they're all warriors. They're all big Vikings. Yeah. Everybody, yeah. Still, you're not fancy. I'm really oversimplifying Norse legend and tradition.

Well, they're all warriors. They're all big Vikings. Yeah. Everybody's cool. They got lots of sleeve tattoos. Is that right? Oh, my goodness, yes. Is that a new thing, or have they always? I think it's new-ish.

I think it's the generation of up-and-coming, like between a 40- and a 50- 50 year old are heavily tattooed, sleeved people. Right. Lots of grandmas with tattoos. Grandpas. Oh yeah. I mean, that's going to be. Eventually. Yeah.

It's going to be here. Yeah. When my kids start having their kids, I'm going to get these sleeves done. That's right. So I can be a grandpa sleeve. Yeah. Get some suede elbow patches tattooed on your elbows. Oh, right.

Yes. Yeah. I have a big, big bushy beard tattooed down my chin, neck. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, boy. Well. Worst house guests ever. Thank you for the lesson on Sweden.

Yeah. Yeah. What's going on with me is the other day I went to, I went out for drinks with a couple of the hosts of the Flophouse podcast. Yeah, yeah. Who happened to be in town. Stuart and Dan and Stuart's wife. Shout out. Shout out to them.

And we went to a place I'd never been in Vancouver called the Morrissey. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's an old place, isn't it? Yeah, it's been around forever. But for some reason, all the stuff on their menu is... Not Smith's related? It is. Oh, Jesus.

But it's like stuff named after Morrissey and like Smith's songs. Right. But for some reason, like they keep, like it's songs right but for some reason like they keep like it's not vegetarian like he's like oh right among the most outspoken vegetarians

yeah but like it'll like they had um this charming flan or whatever I don't know

oh my god sure uh I can't think of any Smith song how soon is um how soon is meow I don't know it's submit song how soon is how soon is meow

I don't know it's a cat food thing cat food the boy with the thorn in his side dish of fries sure yeah oh nice

heaven knows I'm miserable meow it's also cat food let's see girlfriend in Chipotle oh look these things don't work

yeah but they had something that was like the meat is murder burger. And it was just. It was just. It's just murderous meat. It was just murderous meat. Yeah. Wow.

Now, is it, is the place named after? I don't think so. I can't know. I think it's an old place, isn't it? Yeah, I think, like, yeah. I mean, Morrissey's seen better days in fairness, but I think it's. Yeah. I think this like, yeah. I mean, Morrissey's seen better days, in fairness, but I think it's, I think this is an old Vancouver thing. And I guess the new, I'm assuming, yeah. I could be completely wrong.

No, I think you're right. It felt like it would have been dumb to name a restaurant or bar after him, like, genuinely, but to kind of, like, veer it. Like, take over. New ownership took it over. Co-opt. Yeah. We're going to make this the Morrissey bar kind of thing. Yeah. Right. Are there pictures of him on the wall?

I didn't see any. Were you bummed after you left? No. Well, that's good. That's a sign that you had a good time. Yeah. You have a good relationship with alcohol. I had a nice drink with some nice men. Yeah, yeah, yeah good relationship with alcohol. I had a nice drink with some nice men.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a wife. Nice drink with nice men. Who's her own person, I assume. I assume as well. But it was on Granville Street. And I haven't been to that part of Granville in a while. But it was by, I guess that couple blocks used to be just porno, porno, porno.

Porno, porno, porno. Is this where you and I pretend we don't know our boyfriend? I made you out of play. Yeah. When I would come downtown in the 90s and early 2000s, it would be like strips of porno stores down there. Yeah. You both are looking at me.

Well, I'm trying to think. I feel like at either extreme, it could hit that. At either end of. Maybe I'm thinking that's more Gastown. Yeah. There's still one. Like where all the movie theaters used to be? The cinemas?

No, this is sort of like. No, farther up towards the bridge. Yeah. Okay. There's still one. There's still one. And it's called the Fantasy Factory. Fantasy Factory.

Look out. And it has. That's where they make fantasy. Yes. And the sign in the window says Canada's oldest adult store or adult store. Yeah, I believe that. But like I didn't know that was a... Is that a selling feature?

Yeah, like should it get heritage status? A lot of people come out of the cruise ships. That's where they like to go. They like to see the oldest. Yield windest vibrators. Yield, you know, the ones that are made out of wood. Oh, sure.

The edible underwear, if you like moss. Yes. Sure, some kind of weird old, I don't know, a teddy. Made out of Teddy Roosevelt? The teddy that Teddy Roosevelt? Yeah. Is it Teddy that Teddy Roosevelt wore? I'm trying to come up with old porny things.

Old porny things. The edible underwear. What was, were you supposed to eat? Bannock? Yeah, sure. I feel like an edible underwear is a Fruit Roller. I think Dave's on it. Yeah. Yeah.

And some string licorice. Yeah. Are you supposed to just eat it? Or is somebody supposed to wear it and you're supposed to eat it? You're not supposed to just eat it like for dessert. Thanks, babe. Put it in your kid's lunch. Oh, God.

But then there's also those, like the necklaces with the candies on them. They made bikini tops. Bikinis. Oh, yeah. Probably bottoms as well. Oh, yeah. I mean, you don't just wear them with your Daisy Dukes. No, but you might on them. They made bikini tops. Bikinis. Oh, yeah. Probably bottoms as well. Oh, yeah. I mean, you don't just wear them with your Daisy Dukes. No, but you might wear them with your fruit roll-ups.

Yeah, sure. Your fruit pull-ups. Fruit roll-ups, your ass. That's what they should call edible underwear, fruit pull-ups. Oh, I feel like I missed an important thing with Swedish. Okay. Is the, how to say mayonnaise in Swedish. The Swedish word for mayonnaise.

Mayonnaise. Yes. We have some good fun with that. They probably have that at the adult section. Mayonnaise. I want to spread my own ass on this loaf of bread. And they had in the, next to the sign that said Canada's oldest adult store or adult. I don't, like I honestly in my mind, I'm like, which one's right?

I don't know. I go through it too. I say adult. It's like envelope and envelope. I don't know. I don't think I know anymore. Envelope? Envelope, please. I would say envelope. Yeah. The envelope, please. The envelope. Not envelope. I'm an envelope guy. I think I'm an envelope guy. So they had a list of the things they have, a sign that says DVDs, toys, lube. Oh, DVDs. I just heard VDs.

DVDs, digital versatile discs, toys, lube, and mugs. And these prices are between 19 cents and $1,999. Okay. Right. So what are you getting there for 19 cents? Astro Glide. Those little pocket lubes.

Yeah. Oh, is that a little pocket lube? Oh, sure. Just like a one-time. Maybe like a condom. Like a ketchup packet of lube? Yeah. An old roommate of mine

had to do community service in Whistler, and one of the things that he had to do was put together a little safe sex pack for music festival or something up in Pemberton or something like this. Why did he have to do community service? He was a drunk dipshit. I think he was put in the drunk tank too many times, I think. Oh, okay. I think it was put in the drunk tank too many times

I think oh okay but anyway we were lousy with Astro Glide after that and it's just like these little clear

like a vinegar ketchup mustard pack kind of thing good for pranks yeah real good for pranks

what does it taste like uh don't know I'm guessing it's generally unflavored yeah I mean

yeah but like but there's gotta be why wouldn't you I'm guessing it's generally unflavored. Yeah. I mean, yeah? But like, why wouldn't you take advantage of the fact that some people are going to be consuming? Because the mouth is lubricated already. I mean, people aren't. Well, presumably they're not opening up a package. Maybe it's maple. I don't know. Yeah, maybe like a hint of maple or like a fun, like hires could put out a.

I don't think. Oh, yeah. NW. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. Maybe fizzy ones. Yeah. Chapadog.

Like bottle caps. Yeah, something. Yeah, something like, something sweet, something sour. Something. Umami. Umami. Oh, yeah. Umami.

I mean, I think, I feel like most lube after it's been used, it's pretty umami. Oh, yeah. Umami. I mean, I feel like most lube after it's been used, it's pretty umami. Your first ones. I mean, your loins create a real good broth. That's how I make my broth. Graham's personal. I just say I sit in a pot. Fruit of the loom, broth of my loins but what cost

$1,999.95 sex robot yeah sex doll yeah I think probably something something that vibrates did I tell you about that something that vibrates like big

like you could break you could crack a safe with it well like a fuckable lazy boy oh yeah oh now you're talking. Not so lazy after all. Did I ever tell you, like, I read an article about the guy who makes these, the real dolls. And when they ship them, they come in these giant crates.

And the head is not attached, like, the head is down by the feet. Sure. is down by the feet. And it's just the scariest, how you can overcome that initial image and like still be able to have, yeah. And what does it take to attach it? I think it just goes on like a spike. They're not robots.

Can you get other sex robots to just put the heads on all the future sex robots? Uh, you mean like first you get the first sex? Yeah. Yeah. And then they attach the heads to all your future sex robots? Yeah.

I mean, sure. We don't have, I don't think we have sex robots yet. I think they're just, do they? Somewhere. Do they? Somewhere. Somewhere.

Yeah. The Kremlins got them. Yeah. Blood sugar sex robot. Yeah. But yeah, some sort of sex robot would be your high end. Your $2,000. Yeah.

I mean, like, what about like a Dijon lube? Oh, yes. Like a very high end, a caviar of lube yes yes yes um I don't

I've never been in that store I've walked past it pretty much every time I play the comedy club down there but uh

I don't know what's I don't know what is in it like I know what's in the display window the display window it The display window has those, like, flaps. Are there any beaded curtains

anywhere? I don't, not from the outside. Yeah. But they probably do have that. But you don't need it in a porno. Like, in a regular video store, they would have a beaded curtain to lead you to the porno. I think they have little, where you go view clips of a porno. What do they call that? A peep show?

Yeah, little peep shows. Yeah. I'm willing to bet that that place has something like that. I bet that's a long shift as a peep show dancer. Oh, I don't think it's a dancer. I think they're videos. Yeah, but I think you're right. I think the like, because you're just in a room then.

Yeah. And people are just the little windows opening. Like in the LL Cool J video. I the little windows opening like in the uh that ll cool j video i don't remember was that did he lick his lips that was the one where he licked his lips was he walking with a panther what was that one called it was in the 90s i need love no that was the 80s phenomena it was around I'm going to knock you out. No. Mama said knock you out. It was after that. Anyway, so, yeah. I'm out of LL Cool J, guys. I'll find it.

But we, so yeah, we went. And ladies love him. I walk. They still love him after all these years. Yeah, so I walked past that store. I saw the signs and I opened up my eyes. Yeah. I think it's also

that's Swedish yeah it is doing it ah doing it doing it doing it well I think there was

some kind of live peep show in that yeah there was a lot of sweaty close ups I think in that video there's another shop like that

on Davy street oh yeah it also has like the hookers on Davy Street. Oh, yeah. It also has like the. Hookers on Davy. What? Don't you remember? It's like a city TV production, probably from when you were young boys.

But it was called Hookers on Davy. Hookers on Davy. And it's about. Hookers on Davy. Really? Yeah. Oh, I do not remember this. Yeah, this is like 11 o'clock on city TV.

Oh, city TV. Was it on a lot? Blue. Why do not remember this. Yeah, this is like 11 o'clock on City TV. Was it on a lot? Why do you remember? Like, was it a one-time thing or was it a? I don't know. Can't say. Huh. There was. It really, but like.

I think if you Googled it, you would find it. There are certain things that were like a one-time advertisement or promotion that I remember so well that my brother and I, they used to have these ads for A&B Sound that when they had a tent sale outside, they sang the song, There's a tent, there's a tent at A&B Sound. And then for years, anytime anyone mentioned A&B Sound My brother would go There's a tent

What about if you saw a tent? No, I don't think so Tents are pretty commonplace But it was It was like We knew the store very well We went there all the time There wasn't always a tent

But we always associated it with A tent That's a job done right Yeah Yeah, I remember And they're out of business now Maybe an ad for like a Subway sandwich that was a sweet onion chicken teriyaki. I love it.

Oh, and there was an ad for Sam the Record Man. Yeah. Where he is, he's like, it's young Sam the Record Man with like young Gordie Howe, young Pierre Trudeau, or whatever. Like, a bunch of famous Canadians, and they're, like, just, you know, sitting around doing kids' stuff. And he said, when I grow up, I want to have the best record store in Canada. Right. And then it flashes forward to present-day Sam the Record Man, and he says, I said it, I did it.

Yeah, I remember that. That was his slogan, wasn't it? I said it, I did it. Well, then why does everyone give me a weird look when it, like, whenever Sam the Record Man comes up, I say, I said it, I did it. And they go, nah. I don't think so. And then there was a guy that I only

found out about when I moved to this city. The captain? The captain, yeah. I knew your guy. Yeah, aye aye and goodbye. Well, everyone did that. And then there was one where he took helium. And so it wasn't just aye, aye, and goodbye. It was aye, aye, and goodbye. And then, of course, in Victoria, there's Dodds Furniture.

Yes. Now Dodds Furniture and Mattress. Gordie Dodd, the founder, a man of South Asian descent. Yes. Still with us. Still with us. Not running the store anymore, but still in the commercials. Yeah.

And he'll be in all the, he'll be Harry Potter. He'll be a droid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he'll just say, I won't be undersold. In, I think Michigan and parts of Ontario, you could see Melfar, football legend. Okay. Melfar. Right. Melfar Ford.

Jamie Farr's brother. Wonderful. And he always ended up flying off with a cape. No relation to Jamie Farr. Okay. Melfar. Right. Melfar Ford. Jamie Farr's brother. Wonderful. And he always ended up flying off with a cape. No relation to Jamie Farr. Oh. Oh, wow. It's a long life when you're not related to Jamie Farr.

And I think his children still run Melfar Ford. Melfar Ford? Yeah. Ah, nice. Yeah. That's like Jim Poplinski auto. You know, what are you going to do when you're a retired? Hockey player. Yeah. Yeah. That's a, like Jim Poplinski auto, you know, what are you going to do when you're a retired,

uh, hockey player? Yeah. I mean, what, what, what mark are you guys going to leave? I mean, I'm not your own peanut butter,

like you're a mere Jaeger or your own mustard. I'm not a retired athlete yet. I, I have yet to be, to be driven out of my retirement. Like you're a mere Jaeger was. I'm still, I'm still kind of like they,

they haven't gotten rid of me yet. Yeah. I haven't played a game. Don't own any equipment. They'll have it there when you show up. Yeah, that's what I feel. Yeah, yeah. You don't have to bring your own stuff.

Exactly. Everybody wants, they want the team to match. Yes. Right? Like, if I show up in my rugby shirt, they'll be like, wrong sport, Jocko. What's up with you? Well, it's really, this is a garage sale season. How?

Why? Well, because it's a warm out. And every weekend, it's just like people are having the yard sales. Kids are having charity car washes. You know. Babes are having uh charity car washes uh-huh uh you know babes are having bikini car absolutely uh some some people are organizing like neighborhood barbecues things shit is popping off it was canada day the other day there were a lot of like block party street hockey games yeah yeah yeah oh yeah a lot of game on game off so like even

just on the way here passed by a a barbecue, passed by a car wash, and passed by somebody selling donuts for a charity thing. So... Did you get one of each? I, uh... I let them

loof up my body. Forgot about that one. This is my vehicle. Um... And the, uh... So I went to one a couple weekends ago.

It was, it said yard sale, which. Yarmir yard sale. Yeah. And a yard sale denotes it's going to be in somebody's yard. Yeah. Right. Sure. Right there in the name.

I'm still like, I can't get over the fact that this is yard sale season. In my mind, I'm like, but people move 12 months a year. No. Yeah. But people don't when they when it's the fall and when it's cold out they get rid of their stuff on craigslist leaving in a pile on the sidewalk yeah but when it's warm out why not sell it piece by piece yeah you know have some lemonade sure what are you what are you after are you are you looking for like lps stupid coffee

mugs looking for the whole painting of a coffee mugs? Looking for the whole. The painting of a sad pony. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The whole. The killing of a sacred deer. Yeah. Some clothes.

I'm looking for weird, you know, odds and ends. Any kind of like, I like a cool. Yeah, curio, a mogwai, you know. A hutch. Some sort of vintage electronic. I like that kind of stuff Uh And this So this yard sale

It was in the People's house They were moving Uh-huh So it was like going You just kind of went through their house And whatever you wanted You just have to help them

Put a Put a Couch into a van Yeah Yeah Have you ever hosted your own Garage sale Or moving sale

Or anything like that No Because people are aggressive They will turn up The night before To kind of get A lay of the land Yeah

Yeah yeah People take it very seriously If you advertise it Yeah I just I just You know Set it up

And don't tell anyone Yeah And then you just That's your business model Yeah At the end of the day You just leave it out there Well I just

No at the start of the day I put a leave it out there. Well, I just, well, no, at the start of the day, I put a sign up that says free. Free to a good home. The, yeah, so I went in this one

and it was in this person's house and it was just like all of their stuff. They were moving across the country. Were you alone in the house? Well, with the owner.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. Yeah.

Hear all the doors close? You can smell them. Yeah. Yeah. I can definitely. That's weird. Yeah. Yeah. You hear all the doors close? You can smell them. Yeah. Yeah. I can definitely smell their house. Deep in the cellar. Yeah. Further into the darkness.

That's where we keep our Fabergé eggs. Yeah. And I like picked up a shirt and I was like, this is where this shirt lives. Like this. For now. Yeah. I bought it.

It looks great. Yeah. Thank you very much. It's a beautiful circle. But yeah, this is. This was on the way here? No, no.

This was a couple of weekends ago. But we're in full swing. So I'll be roaming through the neighborhood streets. Roaming and combing. Yeah, roaming and combing. Absolutely. And I'm not, you know, I'll barter. I'll try and get down to a quarter if I can, you know?

Because I know they want rid of this stuff. They wouldn't put it on the table otherwise. And when they kind of play like, nah, because five is as low as they can go, I'm like, I know you can go lower. Literally, I know. Because you're not a store. Yeah. I'll be back in a few hours when this is on the curb, okay?

For free. So take the quarter and leave it muchacho but the the the like gem

the one that you want to go for if you see is a church like yards out where everybody yeah everybody's

brought their stuff oh yeah that's where you're going to find some mad magazines guaranteed there was one in my neighborhood a few weeks ago that was like, people put up signs saying, hey, everyone in the neighborhood, we're doing yard sales all this Saturday.

Right. And I walked past a few of them, but it wasn't, it was too sparse. Like it wasn't. Yeah. It wasn't like if it was everyone. You need to put it all together. Yeah. It was like a 10 block by five block thing.

And it was every street had like three. Yeah. Yeah. Not quite enough to. Have you ever been to a garage sale, Dave? Yeah. Okay. You don't look the garage sale type.

Oh, I don't. Sorry, Graham, for saying that you are. I know. I know I have been. Proudly. Yeah. I've been to them. Okay.

Um, I like, I'll definitely, there Yeah, I've been to them. Okay. I'll definitely, there were ones I didn't go to because no one else was there. Oh yeah, that's unnerving. I need to blend in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you do. And because I will be talked into anything. Okay.

And even at a regular store, I feel like if I tried something on, even if it doesn't fit, you know, I feel so bad you went to the effort of letting me try it on. I'll take it. Like, it's, I feel like it's, you know, just my obligation now. Yeah. I don't like this. The arms, it doesn't have arms. And, but, you know, the arms are sewn shut. But it's, you know what, you, you.

I think too. Like, you're not making a lot of money. You're making probably minimum wage here. So I, you know, I'll give you the commission on this. You're not making a lot of money. You're making probably minimum wage here. I'll give you the commission on this. The arms are so jut because you had a nail-biting problem? Why were the arms so jut? I don't know.

It's a factory second. That's a good deep pocket, though. Oh, yeah. When, like, before we had H&M here, Abby and Sheila were big H&M heads in Europe. Back in the day. We've moved on since.

But, and Abby used to rave about it. And when H&M finally came here, I was like, okay, let's see what this is all about. And it sucked. And one time I tried on a jacket there and it was literally like crooked. Derelict. Like the arm. Derelict. Like it was for someone who had two different size shoulders like i could not figure out what was wrong with the

the igor igor line yeah yeah and i asked them and i was like what is this okay like is there something wrong with this do you have any others in this size and they were like nope no others in that size huh i didn't buy it i was you stood firm i yeah i had some principles yeah you didn't come home with this jacket hey this jacket is going in the trash yeah i mean like that's what h&m stuff is anyway but i decided to wear it zero times i had a pair of the but h&M used to be good You say I think it was probably Better for women I think it's great For kids Who are just gonna Trash stuff

But like When you were Like 15 years ago Was it Yeah It was better I think so Yeah

That's what Abby claims Yeah I think it was Better quality It was before everything Was made in questionable I mean They've gone through Lots of evolutions

With how they do Their business But I think There was a dark time in the middle. Mm-hmm. Uh, but yeah, it was better quality stuff. And I mean,

some things I think I still have. Yeah. I've said a long time. Yeah. I have a pair of pants. Do you still have that suede belt I gave you? I don't know, Dave.

I had the suede belt. It was pretty good. Oh, it sounds really good. I got it in Europe. Oh, neat. And then I think Sheila ended up with it because Abby ended up with it and then passed it on who knows that that's what

that'll be your mark you don't need to have your own mustard or your own thing you have that suede belt that you've passed around yeah that's true uh do we want to move on to overheard okay and And rolling. The news today is terrible. So why not forget about it while listening to Jonah Radio with Cash Hartzell. Hey, everybody. Featuring Neil Mahoney. Also me. This is a podcast where we play music submitted by a listener. We hang out.

We listen to new tunes. And we take submissions at jonaradio, R-A-Y-D-I-O at gmail.com. Come and check us out. We're here anyway. Yeah, we'll be here. And that's it. Back to your regularly scheduled podcast. I hope this one goes.

Overheard. Overheard. Overheards. You, if you're new to the show, this is a segment that we do every week. And if you hear something out there in the world that you would like to share, this is the place to do it. And we always like to start with the guest. And Sheila, would you? Sure, I'll start. I have an overheard that, and then I'm going to come back around later with something stupid that Magnus said that I thought was funny. I was in a coffee shop, and it's one of these places where they ask your name.

Yeah, yeah. And they write it down on the cup. And my name defies all logic in Sweden. Oh, really? So I just, I don't, I don't deal with people writing my name. It would come up in any different fantastical combination you could imagine. But this was here? This was here in British Columbia in Whistler.

And not only did the person know my name, which was refreshing, they spelled it correctly because there's a i have a long-standing gripe with humanity that my name is not shilia or shilia it is eight out of time eight out of ten times spelled shilia shilia i was so excited to see my name spelled correctly on four different cups as i ordered for the the group of us. And sitting there waiting, and I heard, Sheila, Sheila, Sheila. And I turned around, and there was a woman going, is she alive? Is she alive? Okay, the person is alive. But I was sure it was all about me.

Oh, boy. I'm glad that she's alive. Yeah. Oh, boy. It was a tense yeah oh boy there's been a blimp accident your wife's been in a blimp accident oh is she alive good year no it was the worst classic firestone um dave do you have an overheard? Well, no. No, barely. No, not really. But I was driving next to a truck. And the name of the company on the side of the truck.

This is an overseen. The name of the company on the side of the truck was Victoria's Blossom. Gross. It did feel very, sort of like the next generation of Blossom. Yeah. And the next generation of Victoria's Secret. Yeah, that finally the secret is. Yeah, what's hidden under that secret.

Sounds like a weird Promise Keeper's teen book or something. Victoria's Blossom? Sure. Blossom. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Promise Keeper. Flowers in the attic. Yeah, and you know what

this is the time of year that Victoria you know really blossoms yeah you can find her at these yard sales yeah

just doing it on an old Chesterfield gross uh not that there's anything wrong with doing it

on an old Chesterfield just don't do it at a yard sale. That's all I'm saying. Right? Respect the sanctity of the yard sale. Dave knows a good sexy shop where you can go do that.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do they have sex? Chesterfield? Chesterfield? Yeah. Sectionals? So fucking good.

There's a, yeah, no, that might be the $2,000 thing Yeah Just a couch Just a couch you can do it on Grody My overheard is It was two gals On the bus

Talking about a Mutual friend of theirs And I'd like to have a mutual friend one day I think you could I feel like that's within the realm of possibility none of my friends are mutual no no not yet sure yeah i mean no i know my friend dj collett isn't i do everything for him and he never reciprocates do you know

what for him um they they were talking about this girl and uh she said like this this girl she's the least skeptical person i've ever met doesn't matter tarot cards zodiac jesus oh my god those aren't the same category of thing well but zodiac and jesus and jesus Capricorn? I'd be interested to see the Venn diagram on those things. Of who? How much of overlap are we actually doing? And what is Jesus' sign? Yeah, is he not? Oh, he's going to be, is he a Capricorn?

Yeah, Capricorn. Is that what comes after Sagittarius? Yeah. I think so, yeah. Yeah. So that means that he's strong-willed. He's a little flight little flighty yeah yeah yeah he's very sensual he can get stressed he can take on too much yeah he likes things his way yeah yeah

yeah he lives to laugh um i uh yeah um i, I guess I'm skeptical about all of those things. Yeah. Yeah. You, you, you, uh, you, you're, you set up a booth that says convince me. Yeah. Yeah. That's your yard sale. Convince me.

Five dollars. All right. You've paid your five dollars now. Now I'm convinced. That's pretty, That's pretty good. Wasn't there a thing of a guy who'd set up one of those? Yeah, sure there was. But it was like, I'll argue anything with you?

No, he's like, convince me of your thing. Whatever your thing is. But no money attached? No money attached. It was just like, I'll sit here and let you try to convince me. He was trolling in real life. I would combine every kind of booth possible. I would be like, first of all, I'm a psychiatrist.

Yeah. Second of all, convince me. Third of all, this is a dunk tank. Fourth of all, you weigh 180 pounds. And fifth of all. Give me some change. Like the. Yeah, yeah. Going through the turnstile. Fifth of all, this weighed 180 pounds. And fifth of all. Give me some change. Like you're at the. Yeah, yeah.

Going through the turnstile. Fifth of all, this is a sunglass hut. And also. Oh, I love that. And finally. Pizza? Give you that smooch. What about a pizza hut?

Pizza hut? Oh, sunglass hut. Well, if the sunglass is hot. I got you. It's changed everything. It's gone from boost to hut. I guess so. Well, no, but a sunglass hut is a kiosk.

Okay. I read a thing, an article about, you know, vice. Yeah. And in Hut is a kiosk. Okay. I read an article about Vice. Yeah. And in the article, they talked about they got young kids to fill out a survey of what brands they thought were the least cool brands. And the most cool. Yeah. And the number of things that kids thought were the coolest were YouTube and Netflix. And near the bottom was Vice and Sunglass Hut.

Amazing. I never thought of I mean I never thought of Sunglass Hut I thought it was a pretty neutral brand. Yeah yeah yeah but like yeah

like Vice was lumped in with like Sunglass Hut and like Southwest Airlines and just like things that are neither

cool doesn't even enter into them. Yeah like Sunglass Hut is just Sunglass Hut. Yeah. Yeah. Does it still exist? Oh, yeah. Does Vice?

Oh. It do. It would very much do. My favorite thing about the Vice TV show is the guy who hosts it, he always pauses in the same spot. No matter what he's talking about, there's always a pause right before the

very last part of the sentence. It's his weird dramatic pause that he does every time. Is he the guy, the founder of it, or is he different? Yeah, I think so.

He's the guy with the beard. Yeah, that's it. I can't do it. Now, we also have overheard sent in to us from people all over the world If you want to send one in Send it in to spy at maximumfun.org

This first one Comes from Josh C in Idaho I was out for brunch With my partner and our conversation became Overshadowed by two men Talking loudly about their girlfriends The end of a long period of the one guy complaining about various things

his girlfriend wanted him to do, like stay up late to talk, he said loudly, like, I'm sorry I got drunk instead of actually watching Love Actually. Good call, buddy. Yeah, I mean, that's fine, i almost accidentally watched love actually like i never watched it when it came out but then there was this sort of weird love actually nostalgia the last few years yeah like it is a really good christmas movie and i made it about five minutes in and i was like i don't i'm under no obligation to watch this no i've never seen the uh entirety

of it i've just seen the entirety of it. I've just seen that one scene where the guy shows up with the cue cards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she does a late night monologue at her door.

You know what I'm talking about? That scene where he's like... It's the dude from Walking Dead. Yeah, yeah. Christmas is a time where you tell the truth. Is this the movie

where Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz switch houses? Yes. And one of them dates Jack Black and the other one dates Jude Law. Jude Law and Jack Black. Little known facts. And that's the one where Hugh Grant does the music and lyrics?

Yeah, that's actually that was Paddington 2. Sorry, that last overheard wasn't Paddington 2. Ah, yes. Sorry, that last overheard wasn't from Josh C. That was from Jesse M. Oh, Jesse, I knew that. Thank goodness. Oh boy, yeah, that one reeked of Jesse.

Yeah. This one comes from Audrey. Where did Josh C. come from? Josh C.'s the last one. Oh, I can't wait. Let's skip through this Audrey one as quickly as possible, please. I was listening to an old man tell his friend about retirement and his financial burdens. His friend responded with, yeah, I figure we can either go to Florida or I can get new teeth.

Those are the options. Yeah. Which would you rather? Don't need both. Oh, new teeth. New teeth? Yeah. Nah, Florida, that warm water. Those beaches without options. Yeah. Which would you rather? Don't need both. Oh, new teeth. New teeth? Yeah. Nah, Florida, that warm water. Those beaches without stuff on them.

Probably find some teeth on the beaches. Yeah. Well, here anyway. I, yeah, getting new teeth at the, well, you'd go new teeth though. Do I have to grow these teeth myself? No. This isn't like a scientific experiment. No, you get them all at once, but they have to...

But they were grown on the back of a mouse. Yeah. Whole set of teeth. Yeah. Well, they did an ear once, didn't they? Are they mouse teeth? They did. No, they're human teeth.

I got to ask the questions first. They're covered in mouse hair. Oh, yeah. And they remain that way. And you... Got to brush them every day? You got to shampoo them. Yeah, you got to ask the questions first. Yeah, you're covered in mouse hair. Oh, yeah. And they remain that way. And you got to brush them every day? You got to shampoo them. Yeah, you got to comb them every day? Oh, boy.

Hairy teeth. Hairy teeth was my attorney. Yeah. Well, we had to part ways. Why? Huh? Why'd you have to part ways with her? Tell us the program.

He was skimming off the top. Uh-huh. And off the bottom. Oh, boy. Yeah, he left the middle alone. Why did you give him so much money to skim? Was this money or milk? He was skimming milk?

No, no, Dave. Teeth? Yeah. I trusted all my best milks to him, and he was skimming off the top. Well, I get the skimming off the top. What's at the bottom? Just the... Curds? Yeah, exactly. Wh skimming off the top. What's at the bottom? Just the curds. Yeah, exactly.

Whey's at the top, curds at the bottom. Is that how it works? Party in the front, curds in the back. I don't know anything about that. No, this is in the front, curds in the back. Oh, the horror. Party in the front, curds in the back. What if you have a curd mullet?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or if you're having a party and there's poutine out back. Yeah. curds in the back. What if you have a curd mullet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or if you're having a party and there's poutine out back. Yeah. Curds in the back. Or if you're having a party in Turkey and, I mean, like. All those displaced curds. All those displaced curds are, you know. Party in the front, displaced curds in the back.

Yeah, turkey in the front, curds in the back. I got it. Josh C. from Idaho. Cannot wait for this. Josh A. Idaho. This is sitting. Home of potatoes. You make the poutine with potatoes. Josh C. from Idaho cannot wait for this Idaho this is sitting home of potatoes

will you make the poutine with potatoes Kurt this is a dad this is in a bathroom stall and a dad he overhears a dad with a kid in the bathroom stall saying no stop it stop it. Stop it.

Don't put your head in there. Kids, don't put your head in there. Kids put their heads in the darndest things. That's good life advice. Don't put your head in anywhere. I was a little worried because last week, I think you had another overheard father and child.

Father and child in the bathroom. Yeah. Yeah. I guess it's a place to overhear things. Yeah. You you're sitting there what else are you doing yeah keep your ear to the ground and look under look at other people's feet yeah um margo had a uh just in spite of our uh telling her not to she's been getting very interested in just making herself dizzy. She spins around. The natural high. And I can't even watch. I'm so sensitive to nausea.

Shumka dancing is all about the centrifugal force. I mean, I can do it. I just can't watch. I just remember now, didn't you have another overheard oh magnus just said something stupid that magnus is your magnus is my baby daddy my baby daddy of 16 years what's the swedish word for baby daddy sambo which means we live together okay but his english is fantastic uh. He learned through school.

He did his master's in English in Ireland. So the sources of his English can sometimes be from a mixed bag. Yeah, yeah. It can be direct translation. Yeah. From Swedish into English, or it can be like an Irishism or something. Right. All the rest of it. And there's a lot of turns of phrases that don't come up too often.

For a long time, he thought it was clean as a whisker. And I wasn't going to correct him. That's fair, though, because cats always clean themselves. Sure. Yeah. I'm under the water instead of under the weather. Yeah. And one I hadn't heard before was we were trying to figure out what to do.

And eventually we would be forced into making a decision. And he said, well, when the pusher comes to shovel, what are you going to do? I love it. I love it. I could listen to him all day. I really could. Shoveling drugs at you. I like that underwater though.

I'm under the water. You're feeling a little under the water? But like, isn't that, there's some term that's like in the market or something. I'm underwater. Yeah. Something is bad. You're losing money or you're in debt. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. What was the last one? When the pusher comes to shovel? Yeah. That's what I'm going to say that from now on. Okay.

No more push comes to shove. It's all going to be when the pusher comes to shove. I like guys who shorten that to like push shove. I mean, we're going to go with the Corvette. Pushity shoveity? Yeah. Corvette. Is that it?

I think that's the whole show. That's the entire show. Wait. What? There's more. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, there's no push-shove. You're going to call us.

And it's going to be push-shove. You're going to use, well, you're going to push some numbers. And you're going to shove some numbers. Forgot the name of the show. Literally. To remember the phone number every week, I have to go to StopPodcastingYourself.com. And for some reason, I forgot that the first word is stop,

and I was looking for sport podcasting. Sport podcasting is brought to you by... 1-844-779-7631 orGH-SPYPOD1 like these people have. Hey, Dave, Graham, and guests. This is Sean from Indiana calling in with an overheard or an overseeing letter. I just saw a kid with a T-shirt that read, If I can't bring my bearded dragon, I'm not going. Fucking right, kid.

Off I go. If I can't bring my beard to dragon? Bearded dragon. Bearded dragon. Jarling. Man, I will. If I can't bring my beard to dragon. Yeah, then I'm not going.

What? I'm not going to dragon. Yeah. What's a bearded dragon? Like a little iguana thing? Yeah. And they've got a prickly little beard. You may have seen them.

There's lots of videos of them. They'll wave at you. Oh, yeah, yeah. They appear to be waving at you. They're very smiley. They are very smiley. Yeah, and they have the tongues sometimes just hang out a little bit. I think they're a very easy first-time lizard owner.

They're like a good-time listener, first-time lizard owner. they're like a long time listener first time lizard owner they're a good like gateway lizard yeah exactly first lizard

and then all of a sudden you can get you can get into salamanders chameleons Komodo's under the line yeah that's where that's where you work up to

Komodo or Godzilla yeah oh but then you need to see the embassy talk to your diplomat. Yes, absolutely. Next one.

Hi, Dave Graham and delightful possible guest. This is Jess from San Jose calling in with, I guess, an overheard. Sorry it's so long, but it's pretty great, I think. So many years ago, my friend and I were seeing Hancock. And there's a character in the movie who said, hey, Hancock, good job. And Hancock turns to him and says, no, you good job. And my friend, I think like way louder than she meant to said me hancock you good job me hancock

man that movie i've seen it more times than it would be permissible like but it's not it's not a great film. Does the dog die? .com I don't know. I feel like that's in one I haven't seen. I feel like Lipsmith. Will Smith needs some lip balm on the poster. Oh, yeah, that's true.

Because he is a drunk. He's an air dwell. But he's a superhero. He's a chapped superhero. Maybe I'd also just seen it right after that LL Cool J video. Oh, man. Now I can just picture LL Cool J really licking his lips. That was during a time when we didn't know what to do with Jason Bateman.

And we would just put him in, I guess he can be a guy in an action movie. Yeah, I guess he'll just be Hancock's go-to guy. And also, the first half of it's really good. He throws a whale in the ocean. Yeah, he's a drunk superhero. And then it all kind of falls apart because his nemesis is Charlie Theron the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not B.D. Wong?

No. I don't know. Is B.D. Wong in it? I wouldn't be mad if he was. No, no, that's true. It's always a delight when he shows up see uh he's in the new jurassic world right sure he is yeah uh i'm gonna see it okay i've decided i'm gonna do it yeah despite what everybody says have you seen all the other jurassic parks yes really yeah uh even the one that's very bad, that third one, where there's a talking raptor in one

scene because he falls asleep and has a dream and then he has a dream that there's a raptor on the plane with him. It says Jason or whatever. Oh, really? Yeah. It's very sad. I've only seen the first one. Really?

Yeah. We did The Family Halloween a few years back with the last movie. Because I had the same haircut. Yeah. Oh, yes. I had it first. Yeah, the same haircut as Bryce Dallas Howard. Yes.

Beattie Wong Howard. Bryce Dallas Wong. Oh. Shit. The possibility of that opens up. My kids were the Raptors. Oh, cool. They were up. My kids were the raptors. Oh, cool. They were blue and delta.

Yeah. And Magnus was whatever, Chris Pratt, whatever he does. I liked that they had water dinosaurs in it because that freaks me out. They're technically not a dinosaur if they swim, Grail. What are they? What are they? I can't wait to believe that this dinosaur is... Oh, we're doing Jimmy Fallon's nerd voice.

Look, everything I do is an homage to Jimmy Fallon. Everything I do, I do it for you. Sorry, I hate Jimmy Fallon. Yeah, who cares why I didn't like the first dress? Okay. Um, I, uh, yeah, who cares why I didn't like the first dress? Uh, okay. Hey, Dave and Graham and possibly guests, maybe in W. Uh, this is David from Philadelphia calling in with an overheard. I was sitting at work and the it guy came over and giving someone the wifi password.

And he said, it's one, two ampersand X. And my coworker says, says wait what was that word ampersand and he says oh yeah it's a little squiggly and symbol they call it ampersand because everybody's gotta be politically correct now Jesus man

and it's ruining our university can't say squiggly and anymore we're living under the thumb I like a character that You can't say squiggly and anymore. We're living under the thumb. I like a character that doesn't know what politically correct means. I vote yes on that character. Where he's just like, I can't make a left turn on a red.

I wonder, I don't know if I know the names of all the symbols on the top row of shift one, shift two. There's one that looks like a butthole. Which one looks like a butthole? The asterisk? The little asterisk. Yeah, it does. That looks like a butthole. There's the chapeau chinois.

Yeah. But what's that called? I don't know. The little triangle without the bottom. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. The cha yeah i don't know i always just called that like the accent the roof oh yeah that's circumflex sure uh there's the you know you got your tilde you got your swinton what's the tilde the tilde is the one to the left of the left of the one oh i see okay it's the one that goes over an N in Spanish to make it a piñata? Right.

That's a tilde? I think so. Cool. What do we got here? We got percent, dollar. Perfect. It's the rest.

And parentheses. Well, that's, you know what, guys? It's been a great journey across the number part of the keyboard. Now, this is the end of the episode. Sheila, this is not the only podcast you're going to be recording whilst in town.

You were a guest on The Fashion Hags. That might not be out yet. No, I think it'll be later. That might be out this week. Okay. Okay. And then, all going well, you'll also be able to hear what I have to say on Retail Nightmares. That might be out this week. Okay. Okay. And then, all going well. You'll also be able to hear

what I have to say on Retail Nightmares. That might have already been out. They don't record as, they don't bank as many. No, no. They, by the seat of their pantalones.

Yeah. One of them doesn't even own pants. Oh, yeah. She's anti-pant. Mm-hmm. And you're anti-Sheila. Oh, that's cute. Well, thank you so much for being our guest.

Thank you so much. Yeah. This was a treat. Thank you. This was a real treat to have you here. I don't deserve to be here. What? I'm very happy that you guys are here.

No, that's not true. But I would like to point out that- You're our greatest warrior, so you get the most water. I don't want any other family members of mine or Abby's to get any ideas about coming on the show. You got to put your time in. That's right. Yeah. This is not a right.

It's a privilege. And I'd like to thank you guys for all of the amazing people that I have met as a result of being part of this podcast community. Oh. Too many to mention. Yeah. Yeah. Let's not mention any of that. Let's not. There's my lawyer. Oh, boy. as a result of being part of this podcast community oh too many to mention yeah there's yeah let's not mention anything that's not there's my lawyer oh boy what's his name again i was gonna say salty glass oh yeah sure he takes a little bit off the top and the bottom he skims the milk

He skims the milk. He says, where are we getting the word curd from? Oh, boy. We're not sure where all the shows that we're going to be doing are. Well, we know where they are. We just don't know if they're on sale. And we certainly don't have the dates in front of us. But between late September and early October, we're going to be in Toronto, Winnipeg, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, and Saskatoon.

All right. Yeah. So we're, you know what? We're a couple of good Canadian boys. And as some people who asked us last time we were in Toronto a few weeks ago, they said, when are you coming to Montreal? But it looks like never. We looked at our statistics for Montreal.

If you listen to us in Montreal, you are one of a very elite few. Yes. Yeah, exactly. And thank you for your patronage. But just so you know, no one in that city speaks English. There's a pretty good, right? There's a pretty good split there. I don't know.

I don't spend enough time in Montreal to know. Beautiful city though. Gorgeous. I know. We'd love to go. We'd love to go. We just don't think we could sell more than a handful of ticks. Come on, Montreal.

Pull it out of your butts. Yeah. Pull it out of your butts. Pull it out of the poubelle. Is that another Swedish? No, it's the garbage. Oh, French. Oh, right.

It's a great word. Oh, amazing. Such a beautiful language. Yeah. Can I do a plug? Yes. Sure. I did a little limited time offer Instagram account called Canadian Gorilla Mom.

Was it CDN Gorilla Mom? Yeah. Abbreviation for Canadians. CDN Gorilla Mom. Like gorilla like the animal? Sure. Like carambe or Coco. Yeah, yeah.

R-I-P, R-I-P. Yeah, R-I-P, R-I-P. Yeah. And that was when. That was last year. That was when they had a gorilla filter. And voice. On Snapchat.

It's arguable that it's a gorilla voice. Yeah, it was on Snapchat, but you will find it on Instagram. C-D- CDN Gorilla Mom I cannot wait To check this out I'm so excited Also I will be

In Winnipeg At the Winnipeg Fringe Festival If you're in Winnipeg Stop by Won't you When's that That's probably right now It's right now probably

Yeah The last Week Of July Or yeah Kind of last two weeks of July, really. Yeah, this is coming out, I think, on the 25th of July. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Then I will be there for like three more days. So come check out Graham Clark's Night Here. And you know what? If you like the show, why don't you tell your friends? I did have the date wrong. I'm looking at a June calendar, so don't worry about it. This comes out when it comes out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you like the show, tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.