Stop Podcasting Yourself - LIVE from Toronto with Mark Little, Bob Kerr, and Conor Holler
Episode Date: March 8, 2012Comedians Mark Little, Bob Kerr, and Conor Holler join us for our first live podcast in Toronto. Recorded at Comedy Bar on Saturday, March 3rd, 2011. Cheetah Power Surge, audience overheards, 90s soun...dtracks, and Brian Dennehy or Rob Ford.
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark, and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Hey everybody, how you doing?
Hi people of Earth.
Hey!
Oh my goodness, thanks for coming to Toronto.
Yeah, right guys? Welcome.
Wow, yeah, this is overwhelming.
We really didn't think we'd sell that many tickets.
We got a lot of flack on the Facebook.
Really taking us down a couple pegs.
We're not bookers.
We don't know what's what.
Yeah.
And the bookers didn't know who we were.
So my name is Graham Clark.
This is a special.
Wait, no.
Just shush.
I've got to do an intro.
It's going to be great.
Hello, everybody. Hi, great. Hello, everybody.
Hi, Graham.
Oh, no, that never happens.
That's not part of the protocol at all.
We are used to recording in a room by ourselves, so we don't hear your voices.
Hello, everybody. Welcome to a very special live Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who cannot wait to talk about Cheetah Power Surge, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah.
Yes.
I live in a place called Vancouver and we watch hockey on the weekends.
Thank you.
Correct.
Yeah, nailed it.
And there's a man who comes on who's a – the hockey TV show hired this old man.
They dress him up, and they make him say racist things.
And in the commercial, before he goes and says awful things,
there's a commercial for this product called Cheetah Power Search,
and it's a national commercial, but the product is not national.
We didn't think it existed.
You can't buy it in Vancouver.
Yeah.
The spokesman is a guy named Frank D'Angelo.
Yeah, a legitimate businessman and not a mafia member.
Now, here's the thing that you may not know, Dave, is last night I was watching television,
local community-based broadcasting here in Toronto, and Frank D'Angelo has his own talk show.
Oh, really?
Called Being Frank.
Yeah.
Does he make pizza on it with his signature cheese?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's him at a pizza counter, and then people come in and they want to buy
a slice and then he asks them,
hey, aren't you somebody from
the... Aren't you from Joan Jett's
band? Whatever her band is.
The Jetts, right? Joan,
Jett, and the Jetts.
No, I think she was in the Australian band Jett.
Are you
going to be my girl by Joan Jett?
iPod commercials
Ting Tings
Yes
Anyways, he has a talk show
He interviews musicians
Well, he's charismatic
Yeah
And he's very, you know
Somebody will relate a story
And then he'll go
I know what he's talking about
And he says to the audience
And they laugh because they're afraid
There's an audience?
Yeah
Yeah, yeah.
No, this is a...
The show is brought to you by Cheetah Power Surge.
And he's got a club here called like,
What's the matter you?
Or something like that.
Like, gabagoo.
And, uh...
Oh!
I think that's the name of it.
Yeah, so it's brought to you by all of his companies.
Anyways.
So what I did today is I was like, okay, let's bring out some Cheetah Power Surge.
Yeah.
Let's see what this stuff is really made of.
Yeah, let's do this real quickly.
I'll tell you what it's not made of.
Caffeine.
Yeah.
What part of the Cheetah does this come from?
Ooh.
I bought these at roughly 11 this morning,
so they are as warm as a cheetah piss.
Oh, yeah.
That's it.
You know what?
You can really taste the D'Angelo.
Oh, yeah.
It's got kind of a...
It like burns.
It hurts.
It's got like a hurting feeling.
It's got sort of...
You know, have you ever eaten one of those candy necklaces?
Yeah.
Yeah, it tastes like it does.
Ew, gross.
It does.
It tastes just like a candy necklace.
So we've been in your fine city.
We happen to be here.
You know what?
Let's get to know us.
Oh, track two.
Track two.
Track two.
Now, we're, like we said, we are visitors in your city.
We're lucky to be here on the weekend of the Mountain Dew Rail Jam.
Dew awesome.
Dew the dew.
Yeah.
I feel like the subways were shut down tonight, and they said it was because of a flood. They didn't say whether or not it was of Mountain Dew.
Yeah, so where all the cool locals hang out is a place called Dundas Square, I've learned.
Yeah.
The townies hang out there, the locals.
Yeah.
And they had all these people.
I thought they were professional skiers, but you think it's just people who brought skis.
Yeah, I think it was people who had skis downtown and were like, oh, good.
So we saw that.
Yeah.
Well, didn't you say there was a not Mountain Dew energy drink being passed around?
Yeah, there was a, uh, they were handing out Mountain Dew, like, they were shooting it out of cannons.
Yeah.
Uh, and, like, you would catch it, and they would go, nice snatch.
Uh, right?
Yeah.
Mountain Dew did it again.
Do awesome and nice snatch
all in one event
and then there was this other
energy drink company called
Nas
named after the rapper
if I ruled the world
I'd have an energy drink
and he
he the rapper
and the people handing out
this energy drink
were so nice
they were like
would you like some someOS for a small donation?
And it was the opposite of the aggressive Mountain Dew folk.
Yeah.
There were so many full Mountain Dews on the subway last night.
We would just grab them out of instinct like a free thing and then just be like, gross.
Most disgusting free thing.
What else have we done?
We went to the grossest Johnny Rockets.
As opposed to the best Johnny Rockets.
While we were hanging out in the cool part of town.
We were like, oh, it's an authentic 50s diner.
Yeah, we read on Yelp, when in Toronto, experience Johnny Rockets for yourself.
And there was an Australian guy who served us, went in Toronto, experienced Johnny Rockets for yourself. And there was
an Australian guy who served us, which I thought
they didn't have Australians in the 50s.
That's right. They were all in jail.
There were crumbs on the
I bought a beer, and there
was crumbs at the bottom of it.
Right? And I drank almost
the whole beer, and then we were both looking at it,
and you were like, I see what you're looking at
I've been looking at it this whole time
I didn't want to tell you
And then while we were sitting in there
We saw
This was my
Well, there was a lot
Toronto is like a city
Get it out
This cheetah power surge
It made me so fucking crazy
Toronto is a city of overheards
and overseens
there's always crazy shenanigans
and when we were sitting
in the Johnny Rockets
a girl tried to sneak up
on her boyfriend
and cover his eyes
to surprise him
and poked him in the eye
and it was just the worst
like he was just standing there
minding his own business
and then all of a sudden
a hand just poked him in the eye
And he lunged forward
And the girl was like oh no
The exact opposite of what I was hoping would happen
So that happened
Yeah a lot more happened to you than me
Remember the kids on the train
When we were heading out
We came into the neighborhood last night
To check it out
Dundas Square
For the late night rail jam There were kids making last night to check it out. And there was a... Dundas Square. Yeah.
And there was... For the late night rail jam.
There were kids making...
There was a group of kids
and there was a couple dudes
that tripped a kid.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I totally remember this.
Yeah.
And then they were making fun of him
because he had a crush on a girl.
And it was like that thing
where you're like,
you don't realize how good the one guy...
Because he's got a crush on a girl and she's kind of interested in him.
But they're like, you good girlfriend.
Or whatever.
Because these are really dumpy dudes.
Anyways, they were.
They were two really dumpy dudes.
They still had baby fat.
They were young.
Oh, did we mention they were babies?
Yeah, they were babies.
They were baby. Oh, did we mention they were babies? Yeah, they were babies. They were baby bullies.
The guy stole
a guy's pacifier.
You know, drove over him in a pram.
I don't know.
That's what they say around here, right?
We're in Ingeland. Yeah, lifts.
Now, why do I keep
drinking this? I don't have to.
I feel like if you drink enough of this candy necklace drink,
you'll be able to eat a regular necklace.
Do you know one of the ingredients is royal jelly?
Oh, wow.
One of the ingredients is turmeric.
Like the spice.
Yeah.
No, it's not, though.
It's turmeric extract.
Right?
Because they couldn't get the full...
Yeah, they couldn't get the rights to turmeric.
Not under this crazy government of my right.
This government and their spices.
We live in dune times, right?
There's a lot of...
Sarlaccs?
No, that's Star Wars.
There's a sandworm.
It's like a Kevin Bacon movie.
Which one?
Footloose?
Yeah.
That would be great.
Criterion collection.
Yeah.
Now, when we were on the flight on the way over,
Dave and I, we very rarely get to just sit back and watch television together.
We were watching television together on the plane.
We were flying WestJet where you got to watch television.
Yeah, 7 in the morning television, which included back-to-back episodes of, what was it called?
Meet the Kardashians or the Kardashians?
Yeah, no, no, Kim and Khloe take New York.
Yeah, and the very first thing when we both turned it on was Kim Kardashian saying to her sister,
You'll never guess who emailed me. No, no. No, wait, no, that was something else. That was something else. First thing when we both turned it on was Kim Kardashian saying to her sister...
You'll never guess who emailed me.
No, no.
No, wait, no, that was something else.
That was something else.
Yeah, shut up.
Cheetah Bowser.
The first thing we heard Kim Kardashian say was, guys, they literally painted inside my ass.
painted inside my ass and then like i laughed so much harder because i had a vision of two guys in the white painter's outfits like with rollers and the scaffolding and then dave said and they're
whistling at other ladies from her ass check out the ass on that one.
But then in a second episode in a row of Kim and Kardashian,
Kim and Kardashian,
Kim and her sister Kardashian,
take New York,
that just started with,
guys, you'll never guess who emailed me.
Shango.
Yeah.
So that's been a running gag
the whole time we've been here.
Everybody's Shango to us. Yeah. Like that's been a running gag the whole time we've been here. Everybody, shango to us.
Yeah.
Like that's a person's name.
We also made a game on the subway of picking what stations sounded the most like a slang for genitals.
And my favorite was pape, and yours was?
Spadina.
What was it? Old Mills?
I like the Old Mill, yeah.
There's trouble at the Old Mill.
That's how you refer to your third wife.
The Old Mill here.
Trouble at the Old Mill.
Better drink some cranberry juice.
Ladies know what I'm talking about.
We're a lot of fun.
Yeah, we are.
We're very charming.
So did we watch something else on television?
Or was that?
Oh, no.
Yeah.
The other thing that we watched was eTalk Daily with host Ben Mulrooney.
He's delightful.
Right?
He's my favorite kind of BM.
Yeah.
He's on your city's flag, right? Going like, hey, first in something.
He, we saw like a promo before a commercial, and the lead line going into the commercial
was, Steve Urkel's back and then
we watched the rest of the show and there was no
anything about
and we were like trying to figure out
like oh it's gonna come up in the last 10 seconds
of the show. It's gonna be over the credits.
And in lighter news Steve Urkel's dead.
Yeah. He's back
in heaven. Yeah.
Oh and my other favorite thing that happened on the plane was a woman brought a harp on. Oh, and my other favorite thing
that happened on the plane
was a woman brought a harp on.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, man.
A carry-on harp.
No, that was my second favorite, too.
Dave kept taking photos
of a guy who was wearing suede boots
over his jeans.
Yeah.
So he looked like
Puss in Boots style.
And then, but like,
we were laughing at that, and then a lady like,
excuse me, with her harp like,
like, oh, are we all going to the medieval fair?
Are we all going to go?
Are we going to have a sing-along to green sleeves?
Oh, man.
Also, I bought this shirt today because I thought it would be hilarious.
Oh, man.
Also, I bought this shirt today because I thought it would be hilarious.
For the home listener,
Graham's shirt says,
I heart tour...
Toronto.
Toronto.
Yes.
I wanted to buy,
at the souvenir show,
I wanted to get one that had, like,
glitter on it,
and it was a glitter Toronto,
but the extra large curls,
I put it on, and it was like a bra.
It was just like a bra.
You could have worn it over another shirt.
I mean, you know,
there's only so much embarrassment
you can handle.
Because from the side, that looks like a Hubba Bubba.
Hubba Bubba?
What generation is this?
That's a gum, right?
That's still a going gum concern?
Yeah, Hubba Bubba's like Big League Chew.
Is it?
No.
It's like a Bubblicious.
Sure.
Like a poor man's Bubblicious.
Did you know this is only packed by D'Angelo Brands?
Not even manufactured by them.
It's manufactured by Cheetos.
Nature.
Yeah.
Gross.
Well.
Yeah.
Well, that's the show everybody
Of course
Of course
Of course
We have three
Wonderful guests
Before we get to our guests
Let's just make sure
We thank people
Because I think we'll forget later
Yes
I want to thank you
The homeless
Yep
Yeah
Thank you for coming out
We want to thank the comedy bar We'd love We'd love very much to thank you. The homeless. Yep. Yeah. Thank you for coming out.
We want to thank the Comedy Bar.
We'd love very much to thank Gary from the Comedy Bar, Daryl
who's working the sound,
Jen who we were in constant
contact with, Laura Champion, who
started...
The group... I forgot, I bought
a gift for her and I didn't bring
it up on stage. It's way in the back.
But I'll give it to you.
No, it's not null and void.
Yeah.
Is it Cheetah Power Surge?
Yeah, well, yeah.
It's three quarters of a Cheetah Power Surge.
Two warm Power Surges.
No, it's a real, it's a legitimate gift.
It's a bamboo thing that I bought at a store
and had to carry in the wind like a moron.
It's floor panels.
Because the lady at the store was like,
the great thing about this is that you don't have to,
they really, they survive really well.
And then I took it out in a windstorm and was like,
Bamboo doesn't know how to do this.
I hope you don't have a pet panda.
I hope you do.
But yeah, thank you everybody.
And thanks to whoever we forgot to thank.
I'm sure there's someone.
Who?
I don't know, that's why. It's like a Hilary Swank thing, which you forgot to thank your husband'm sure there's someone. Who? I don't know. That's why.
It's like a Hillary Swank thing.
What'd you forget to thank?
Oh, thank you to Hillary Swank.
All right.
Thanks to Chad Lowe.
To her ex-husband's name.
Do you think that that was the thing that started the...
Yeah, of course.
Of course it was.
Really?
Yes.
I don't know
I'm not up on my
You're not up on your
Swankalopedia
That's pretty good
That was okay
Everybody gave a kind of short shrift
In the audience
Swankalopedia
Learn it
That sounds aggressive
Okay but really we do
We have three amazing guests
Who have agreed to be part of this cultural experiment.
Right?
It's a real happening tonight.
This experiment called America.
And this first gentleman coming to the stage is a gentleman that we have wanted to have on the podcast many, many times.
And just schedule with this guy.
Because he does his works.
This guy, he's on shows.
Yeah.
What shows is he on?
He is on a picnic face.
He is on a Mr. D. He has been on the Halifax Comedy Festival, Just for a Laugh, Winnebago
Comedy Festival, and he's just an uber delight.
And he's here for you this evening.
Please welcome our first guest, Mr. Mark Little, everybody.
Hey, C-O-U-D-E-R-D-A-N-C-O-U-D-E-R.
I'm thirsty, so you're on too.
Bring that forward.
Bring this at us.
Oh, there you go.
I hate to undermine the staff here, but come on.
We're a tight-knit group.
This is very live with Kelly. Yeah. We're all, right? We're all doing it.
Hello, Mark Little. Oh, hi. Hello. How are you? Welcome. Oh, thank you. Thanks for having me.
Thank you for coming. We're going to get to know you. We got to know us and what we're all about,
but we would like to get to know you. What's new know us and what we're all about, but we would like to get to know you.
What's new?
What's happening with Marvel?
What's your deal?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
There's nothing going on.
Oh, no.
You came here to plug your movie, Project X.
Yes.
I was one of the key creatives behind Project X, and we've got a lot of hope for it.
Yeah.
What do you think is going to be the end result of that movie?
The end result? Or do we? I you think is going to be the end result of that movie? The end result?
Or degree, I think.
I think we're going to get the Vice Magazine Award
for most likely to be associated with Vice.
Movie award.
The 29th Annual Vice Awards.
Wouldn't they be the greatest and filthiest bash?
Right?
If it was televised, there'd be a lot of, right?
Yeah.
Not combed hair.
Yeah.
Lots of don'ts, probably, in the audience.
Yeah, all don'ts.
Mixed with do's.
All don'ts that people say are do's.
Yeah.
You can't really tell these days the difference between the do's and the don'ts.
I feel like a lot of the do's they just say are do's because they're so ugly right yeah sure i yeah i mean i maybe it's i'm getting older i
really love the do's like every time they reward someone for being out there yeah like yeah man do
you think and then every time i read a don't i'm like come on man that's someone's kid
i can't distance myself you would like to see a do and also do some more.
Yeah.
I just want to see all dos.
Here are all the reasons you should do this.
My girlfriend was reading some website that was criticizing Oscar dresses.
And then we were reading it together and we were like, oh, this is the only one that's –
At worst, it was like a constructive criticism.
It was a really nice website?
It was all kind words.
Oh, wow.
It was like, this doesn't quite work on you, but like...
Looks really expensive.
Yeah.
Like, great job for taking a risk, sister.
Who's next?
It was a really lovely website.
Wow.
So are the days of the catty website, or catty
like red carpet,
you know? No, they're not gone.
No, what? Thank God.
But everyone this year looked
damn good. I mean,
did you see
Hillary Brunner?
Chad Lowe.
Watching from home.
Yeah.
No, you say there's nothing going on but that's hardly true
you're on two
television shows and
are you touring around or are you just working
in the city tell us about it
what's it like to be Mark Lowe
let's have a peek inside the mind
take all the things you have and then find
a way to hate them.
How does your average day start?
Well, I'm sort of in limbo right now because I did those two fun shows
and now we're trying to figure out if Picnic Face is going to get a second season.
Come on, who doesn't?
Right?
Wouldn't it be?
Come on.
Who would possibly not want that?
You know who?
The man.
Go on. The man. Go on.
The man.
And then Mr. IEA.
So I don't know.
So both of the things are like done.
They exist, but they're done.
And I'm hoping for more things.
But the crazy thing is this Rollertown, the movie we made, was like, is playing at MoMA
next month.
What?
Like alongside like Monsieur Lazar.
Really?
Like movies that you would call
films because you didn't want to insult the director
by calling them movies.
And we're playing at
3 p.m. on a Sunday.
That's probably so great.
And I think it's just all being packaged as
like, come see
the year in Canadian film.
So some people might just show up
and they're like, I don't know what's playing during this block but I understand that this represents Canadian film. So some people might just show up and they're like, I don't know what's playing during this block,
but I understand that this represents Canadian film.
Yeah.
I got locked out of my house.
Anyway.
That's crazy.
I want to see it.
Yeah.
I would also like to see this movie.
I think the movie is for some people,
but I can say
with 100% certainty that it is not for those people the people at home are gonna hate it
there's no way they won't well I disagree because maybe they'll do the thing where they're like oh
this is one of those it's like trying to trick me it's not like that so I will I'll show them
right so they'll be snickering at all the references even
though they're together yeah i get it i get it yeah so i still think that you're giving my movie
more credit even the sarcastic response is too too credit. Unless you think that they're going to react that way to a grandfather with semen on his face.
Where did it come from? Why is it there?
MoMA!
MoMA!
Even the kind of scene that we looked at afterwards and were like,
why did we write that?
Because it was like a madwib script.
Does MoMA stand for the Museum of Masturbating
Ancestors?
Yes!
Yep.
If it does.
Yeah, what if it does?
We're in trouble.
Sign me up for a season's pass.
Everybody, yay!
Now, what is this movie?
You said the title of it, but maybe people do not know what it is about.
Oh, well, it's a movie set in 1980, around the time that roller skating movies that were actually made were filmed.
And it's...
Oh, we'll never get back to that time.
Yeah.
It's actually impossible.
And it's a parody of those types of movies and there's like uh
all those movies felt like dirty dancing or footloose they're about someone who
danced in a different way but like everyone else was like you'll never get into juilliard if you
dance like that and they're like i gotta be true to myself and at the end juilliard's like nah
come on in oh yeah that yeah. That kind of movie.
But in that genre of dance movies, there was like four or five roller skating specific movies.
And one of them, the most amazing one that is definitely the most used for reference points by us,
a real tortured sentence, was called Roller Boogie.
And it was this piece of shit from 1979.
It was, I think, the only big movie that Linda Blair did after The Exorcist.
Because she did The Exorcist and then everyone after that was like, we're never casting you.
She's like, I'll show them.
Look at this script.
This is the comeback script.
She had the comeback script.
And then apparently she was dating the lead right up until filming,
and then they broke up in a bad way right before filming, and so she got the producers
to fire the male lead, and then the-
And she buried the lead.
Oh.
Oh, that-
It turned on me.
Yeah.
Masturbating ancestors.
Remember, guys?
But then the guy who stepped in for the lead was his roller skating stunt double.
Who had never acted?
He'd never acted.
That's every stunt double's dream.
Right?
Tom Cruise didn't show up.
You're going to have to be the star.
Yeah.
Jerry?
And so he's this guy with wonderful wavy hair.
And he's got one expression which I think you might describe as a smile, or you might describe as petrified terror.
He's a really uncomfortable guy, and this movie is just garbage. The first 30 minutes are about this, their roller skating love story.
And then about 30 minutes in, the mafia just show up and they're like,
we're shutting this down and there's nothing you can do about it.
And then apparently everyone in the movie is like, well, that's what it's about now.
So there's no, but I think if there was a flaw with Rollertown,
it's that we were like, wouldn't it be funny if we parodied that?
And then relied on people saying like, oh, this is like a parody of that movie none of us have seen.
It's a spot on parody.
So in effect, yeah, so we just have the exact same problem.
Just poor scripting.
I like that they put a mafia.
That was probably like the Godfather came out and they were like, oh, people really like the mafia.
Put that in a roller script. Roller script. The Godfather just came out and they were like, oh, people really like the Mafia. Put that in a roller script.
Roller script? The Godfather just came
out seven years ago.
They didn't shorten the term of
movies for them. No, yeah, they made everything
roller whatever.
We need something from Roller Props.
Was it the
first film shot all on roller skates?
Yeah. It was shot in Roller
Vision. Just slowly wheeled away
from the set.
And actually,
good.
Some good physical
podcast comedy.
So that's amazing. You got a film done, which is, you know, they say like that's amazing
You got a film done
Which is
You know
They say like
That's an impossible
Thing
Right
Do they say that
Yeah they say that
Classic
Bartlett's quotations
Films
Making a film
That's like an impossible thing
Yeah
Attributed to
They
Yeah they
There's one thing they say
In the age of the internet
It's that no one
Can get it done
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Making a movie is getting more and more expensive
Fewer people have access
Now, you were originally from out west
You moved out here, is that right?
Or were you originally from here and then you went to university out west and then came back here?
No, I'm from out west and then I moved to Halifax
And I just moved here four months ago
Oh, you're new! You're as new as us.
Have you been to Dundas Square?
Yeah.
I've spent the last four months
in Dundas Square
and I like it.
I feel like there's got to be more,
but I can't pull myself away.
There isn't.
There is not.
Yeah, exactly.
One end is Chinatown.
One end's Koreatown.
It's a square of many cultures.
We went to a pub there that had a library up top.
It was great.
You don't see those things mixed often.
Or maybe you do.
I don't know if you drink at the library.
It's the Dundas way.
I think you're just witnessing the library very slowly getting phased.
Yeah, you can stay.
Yeah, we'll let you stay.
Ha ha.
Right, that's every guy who owns a bar.
What are you saying?
That people accidentally own bars
by letting people just stay in the place?
They took over a library.
Like in that movie, Library Town.
The mafia moved in with their bar plans.
At first you thought it was just a love story about two librarians.
Then half an hour in, they're like, wait, this isn't anything.
Bring in the mafia.
Go see Rollertown.
You've got to see Rollertown, guys.
You've got to see it.
So how are you finding Toronto?
You've only been here for four months.
How do you like it?
Oh, it's amazing.
Well, when I was in Vancouver, I always thought, like, I want to go someplace bigger.
And then I got into school in Halifax.
And then I was like, can't wait to go someplace bigger.
And you moved to Red Deer.
Yeah.
The crazy thing about Halifax is that it is the big city for everyone from any other city in the Maritimes.
Yeah.
You'll meet people from Charlottetown
and
Moncton.
There's other cities, right?
And they'll be like,
Sol, how do you like the big city?
These people from Moncton,
mostly immigrants from New York.
Their families moved
from the old world,
and then they moved to New York,
and then they're like, this is getting a little hot in here.
Let's check out New Brunswick.
Yeah.
Hey, you like New Brunswick?
You've been on one of our ways.
Don't point out that I only have one accent in my repertoire.
But yeah, that's where Picnic Face started, right?
Yeah. It was out in Halifax. And then why the move to Toronto all of a sudden, right?
Yeah, oh, I mean, Halifax is a weird place to do comedy, so it just, I mean, it was a wonderful place to learn how to do comedy because there was no pressure.
It was like, it was none.
Everyone out there is so...
We ain't got no entertainment out here.
Oh!
Oh, you know, the mayor of Halifax, that's his voice. None. Everyone out there is so – We ain't got no entertainment out here. Oh.
Well, you know, the mayor of Halifax, that's his voice.
No, I mean, like, all the – people are nice.
That's why people go to Halifax because everyone is so wonderful there.
But there's not a lot going on, so they really appreciate anything that is going on. So we started, like, doing – I mean, there's obviously a longstanding music scene, but most comedians, anyone who's ever aspired to be a comedian in Halifax has left.
Right.
And so when we started doing improv there, we got hordes of people coming out because, on the one hand, they appreciated that we were doing anything.
And then, on the other hand, I don't know, we were slightly different from the couple of shows that happened, like, per month.
Right, the Pizza Corner show.
There's the Pizza Corner show where someone eats pizza and then complains about it.
And the cops arrest him
and it's all not,
it's not filmed,
but we treat it like
a live studio audience would.
But then eventually,
yeah, it got to the point
where it was like,
I mean, there's so much going on here
and you want to be surrounded
by people who are going to inspire you.
And there's only so many people
like that in Halifax,
whereas Toronto is like, is tons. Right? Yeah. there's only so many people like that in Halifax, whereas Toronto is tons.
Right?
Yeah.
It's huge.
I don't mean to get super sentimental, but that's the reason.
But it is true.
Even if you walk like 10 minutes, it's exhausting how many buildings there are here.
Too big.
In Vancouver, you walk 10 minutes and you're in the forest again.
You were saying that people go to Halifax because the people are so nice.
I find the people here are so much nicer than Vancouver.
It's off-putting.
Yeah, it's true.
People here are ridiculously nice. People look you in the eye and smile at you on the street,
and you don't know what to do, so you just kick them in the neck.
Some lady gave me the once-over today while I was carrying that bamboo.
She went like, I don't know if I like the
face scan so far. I do not appreciate
the beard. Saw the bamboo, went back up for the
eyes. Hey, alright.
It was good.
Felt pretty good.
Yeah, in Vancouver, if someone smiles at you, that's like
second base.
That's wild, yeah, because that's the
stereotype here is what you're describing Vancouver
as. And Toronto gets a
bad rap. It does.
And also, weirdly, I think it's just
snowballing stereotypes.
I was talking to my uncle, who's
a Victoria boy, born and raised,
a little bit older. Can you do an accent?
Hey, I'm from Victoria!
Born and raised!
And he was like, I'd only been here for a month.
And I said, how'd you like your trip to Australia?
And he was like, wonderful.
I picked up a bit of the accent.
Everyone down there is like, hey, get in here.
Whoa.
Vinny.
Dingo took my baby.
And then he was like, how are you enjoying baby And then I was like
He was like
How are you enjoying Toronto
And I was
I'm really liking it
And he's like
Yeah a lot of tall buildings
And garbage right
And I was like
That's two of the elements
I'd be upset if those didn't exist
But it's crazy to me
Because I'm staying
I am staying in a very ramshackle place.
Dave was smart.
He booked a hotel.
And I was like, oh, wing it.
Right?
I'll figure it out on the fly is what I said.
So I booked a place through Airbnb and ended up on Shooter Street,
which every time I've said it to anybody, they've done that exact thing.
They're like, ooh, don't go down to Shooter Street, which every time I've said it to anybody, they've done that exact thing. They're like, ooh, don't go down to Shooter Street.
But it's like the cleanest fucking street.
It's as clean as any hoity-toity.
When we were walking down there, you said,
this reminds me of The Wire.
You said that! I didn't say that!
Look, you literally just...
One of us said it!
No, no, no.
We were walking down the
street and then you started
singing the theme from The Wire.
If you walk through the
garden... And I said, why are you
singing that? And you're like, I don't know.
I'm sorry. Yeah.
But if you...
Through the window Where I'm staying
You can see
There's a playground
And then just beyond
The playground
Is a strip club
So
The kids have to learn
At some point
Yeah
Job shadowing
But
What I'm saying
Is that area
Which is
Everybody's like
Ooh stay away
It's like super clean
There's no litter anywhere
There's not even
Cigarette butts on the ground
And every
Cuckoo bananas person That I've crossed has been like, well, maybe it's good.
Now I'm self-reflective.
They're like, look who's back.
Maybe I'll just remind them of a local flavor.
No, ZZ Top is back.
I had the same experience.
I moved very far west,
so I have to travel through Parkdale,
which I guess as recently as 10 years ago
was genuinely frightening.
Right.
But now it's like...
There's still crazy people
who all get on at one specific stop.
But the only reaction I...
Crazyton.
One stop crazyton.
Like, I...
At first, it just felt novel.
And now the furthest I've gone from novel is I'm just annoyed by it now.
Where I'm like, oh, another crazy person.
Come on, man.
Another person who's going to talk loudly to me and not listen to my responses.
Sounds like this podcast.
But there's no threat.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
What Dave was saying is everybody here is overwhelmingly nice. but there's no threat. Yeah. That's the thing.
What Dave was saying is everybody here is overwhelmingly nice and the streets are overwhelmingly clean
and there's like a recycling program
in your just garbage cans
where you can decide where to put your litter
and everybody has a compost.
In Vancouver they have things where you
just leave the cans out for homeless people to pick them up.
Yeah, exactly.
The mayor has incorporated homeless people into city planning.
So that it's just like, well, those guys are going to do it anyways, right?
Put a place where they can get the cans.
That sounds really wonderful.
Is that not?
Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, sure.
We're not employing. I was like, we're employing homeless. No, wait, sure. We're not employing.
I was like, we're employing homes.
No, wait a minute.
We're doing the exact opposite.
We're taking extreme advantage.
We're enabling.
Yeah.
We're enabling.
They'll never kick that collecting cans habit.
Yeah.
As long as we're.
As long as you keep leaving them around the house.
This codependent relationship.
I can't do it anymore.
I finish a drink.
He takes it into his bag.
That's a guy or a girl who's dating a can collector.
For my two-person show.
Hey, my can.
I don't know. What would I call a two-person show. Hey, my can. I don't know.
What would I call a two-person show?
Anyways, guys.
But yeah, you're finding Toronto lovely.
You love it here.
Toronto loves you.
Yeah, some people in Toronto like me.
No!
No!
Since you've been here, tell us what has been your kind of favorite moment that's happened in Toronto
that could only have happened in Toronto.
Is there anything like that?
Like with the crazies or just with being on the...
The crazies or the tall buildings or the garbage.
Yeah, or the tall buildings.
Yeah.
The streetcars.
Something that would never have happened in Halifax or Vancouver.
Is there anything?
Yeah, well, I mean, it's like, I think it has to do with the cab culture, maybe.
Cash cab.
I was not involved in the cash cab.
Except in as much as I gave him cash and he provided a cab.
Very straightforward.
I don't want to be on this show, but...
Cab?
I've had a number of insane conversations with cabbies.
It's not a story off the top of my...
But it's a story I've told before because it was the craziest thing that ever happened.
It's literally what I requested.
Period.
You were like, set me up for this cab bit.
Yeah.
We didn't do any...
I watched Frank D'Angelo's show last night.
I liked his style.
I liked the way he served it up to the guests.
I heard Frank does have mafia ties.
That's something I heard.
You made light of his ties.
They're really wide and he has a little pin.
Yep.
It was the only place he could go.
Yeah.
Right?
So. I watched Goodfellas today
Good movie
Yeah yeah
You've seen Hugo?
I haven't seen Hugo
Does he incorporate a lot of classic rock into the beatings?
Yeah at one point the movie stops being 3D
because someone beats it out of the movie
with fists.
So, like, I feel guilty
that this story is not off the top of my head,
but I think it's a testament
to how, like, it was a life-changing experience.
But I was in this cab with this cabbie,
and I don't know what I said to him
that in his mind triggered, triggered like here's my life story
i'm pretty sure i just said how's it going and um he started out by telling me about his girlfriend
that he has he was like 70 in greek and he met this woman on a call-in show and it was beautiful
wow yeah like they both used to call in a lot and the host got to know them so well that he was like uh you two should talk outside of radio
it was a really beautiful story but then it just kept going and i did not prompt it
but it's it just went to how upset he is with his life in general how he's but he came here
from greece 20 years ago and hates it in canada and wishes he could go back but he can't start
over and uh and then he like we back, but he can't start over.
And then we were driving through this industrial area at midnight
and he pulled up to a red light and then turned to me
to give me a moral
of his story. He said,
I feel like a lion in a cage here.
A lion
in a cage.
And then he made eye contact with me
and asked if I knew what he meant I was like I
think I know what you mean and then I that's not the part the part is that I swear this is true
at that moment and at midnight in this industrial part of toronto while we were at this
red light this guy came driving down the road like the cross street uh driving down the middle of the
road in a wheelchair and he good one he was like he was laughing maniacally and he was wearing a
birthday hat and he like definitely had down syndrome and i don't say that as like what an idiot i say that
as like here we are and yeah and he drove down the middle of the road and then like
turned left and passed our cab past my door and then turned a quick right and disappeared
and all of that happened in about six seconds that i will never
forget never yeah yeah and that's amazing yeah and like i uh i grew like i not not that i need
to have done this but i grew like i had a like a foster sister with Down syndrome as I was growing up. She moved out. The point is, that's not a situation that should happen.
After they move out, they usually have caretakers that are able to say,
it's midnight, don't go, don't leave.
Don't head for the industrial part of Toronto,
which is literally two miles from any residence
where are you going
and um
with the birthday hat
and also whose birthday was it
but maybe the cabber to the whole thing
was that the cabbie
continued telling his life story
like watch this with me
and then turned to me to continue his story And Cabby continued telling his life story, like, watch this with me.
And then turned to me to continue his story.
Like, that was not more important than what he had to say. Like a lion in a cage, I was saying.
Anyway, if the world will stop interrupting us.
Oh, Mark, you're just like one of the greatest dudes around.
If people want to see Rollertown, where can they?
I don't know.
It's got to be MoMA, right?
You have to go to MoMA.
You've got to go to MoMA.
That is literally the only place that it is showing that we have scheduled that we know about.
Like it might be they bury it after that.
They might.
Well, so get up off your ass and go to MoMA, right?
Go to MoMA.
Simple as that.
Thank you very much for being our first guest out on the show.
Mark Little, everybody.
Oh, Lord.
Another round of applause for Mark Little.
Why not?
We're here anyways.
So funny.
applause for Mark Little.
Why not?
We're here anyways.
So funny.
Well, why don't we,
we're going to move on to a segment
that we've done
many, many times
on the show.
Yep.
A segment that people like.
A segment that might be
track three on your playlist.
Okay.
You know,
just a suggestion.
Oh, there it goes. Oh, here we go.
Overheard.
Overheard.
Things overheard or overseen in your life on a daily basis.
Let us bring out our guest who is going to join us for Overheard.
A very, very funny man indeed.
A gentleman that ever since I met him,
wanted to have him on the podcast,
and this is a golden opportunity.
He writes for This Hour's 22 Minutes.
He's here for you tonight, Mr. Bob Kerr, everybody!
Bob Kerr, how are you?
I'm great.
Before we get started, I have some gifts. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at him, politics wants to force you to leave from my teen years. And I was like, what better way to get rid of this garbage
than to give them on a podcast?
You're not wrong.
These are...
And listen,
90s soundtracks are so underappreciated.
Oh, 90s soundtracks.
Not by us, they're not underappreciated.
I wouldn't applaud.
What's your favorite?
My favorite?
Oh, well, you know what?
It might be in there. Okay. All right., you know what? It might be in there.
Okay.
All right.
Is it Empire Records?
It might be Empire Records.
All right.
Or Tank Girl.
Oh, sure.
They're not either of those.
But you're right.
90s soundtracks were it.
Okay.
My first soundtrack that I got is I Know What You Did Last Summer.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, very good.
It's got Coolish Shaker's version of Hush.
Very great.
So enjoy that.
You're the lead singer of Kula Shaker.
Do you know who his mother is?
No.
Does anyone?
Hayley Mills from The Parent Trap.
Oh.
Wow.
Yeah.
Do you think that they just formed Kula Shaker to get her and her ex-husband back together?
Parent Trap.
That would explain their hit single, Come On, Guys.
Come on.
What?
There are no other...
Here are some other bands that are on the soundtrack.
Yeah. No other... Here are some other bands that are on the soundtrack. Sure, you've heard of The Offspring and L7 and Soul Asylum.
But have you heard of Flick?
Have you heard of The Din Pedals?
Have you heard of the Jim Brewer Project Goat Boy?
Listen, they're all classic cuts.
Yeah.
The second one is far more embarrassing,
and I have to say,
this might be the fourth time I've bought this.
Nobody's going to guess what this is.
Police Justice.
No.
Are you ready?
Yes.
The Jerky Boys soundtrack.
Oh, what?
Featuring Collective Soul. Yes. Fe Jerky Boys soundtrack. Oh, what? Featuring Collective Soul.
Yes.
Featuring Jell from Collective Soul.
It's actually not a bad compilation.
They've got Hanging on the Telephone covered by L7.
Sure.
It's a double L7 shot.
Did you get this at the L7 store?
I did.
That was weird.
They are working there.
Also a cover of Black Sabbath's Symptom of the Universe by Helmet.
Very cool.
It's very cool.
There's this other soundtrack, a Supercop soundtrack.
You know Jackie Chan?
Yes.
And it has Devo covering head like a hole.
I am on search for that album.
That's a great...
Why?
Why?
It is very good.
Why not?
Wow.
Dialogic by Julio and the 43s.
Listen, you guys are in luck because those CDs...
I don't feel like we're in luck.
Those CDs are not copy protected.
Oh, that's true!
You can share them on your laptops
Give them to your family and friends
There is on the
Is this a Beatles cover?
The Toad the Wet Sprocket version of Hey Bulldog
We'll never know
No one will ever listen to it
I want to make a
This is not just music from
And inspired by the motion picture
Of the Jerky Boys
They sat down
and they watched the film
like,
I got an idea!
I got an idea
for a song called
Prank Phone Call.
I'm going to use
a ringtone of mine.
Oh, you are too?
Come on!
I would like
the Jerky Boys
to do a live album.
Yeah.
Like do prank calls
live in front of
a studio audience
and then the other
person on the line
is like,
who's laughing?
I have caller ID.
Live at the O2 Arena.
The Jerky Boys.
That is the fourth time I bought that thing.
I'm sorry.
Well, I mean, the fourth makes sense, but let's backtrack to the other three.
I went through a phase where I like to sell things.
I don't know.
Sure.
You like to throw away Jerky Boys CDs.
I like to throw away Jerky Boys.. I like to throw away Jerky Boys.
I'm like, nah.
And then I'm like, oh, my God.
I remember when I was listening to that.
It's just full of glee.
Childlike wonder.
How do they do that?
Well, you know what?
They did it by, I don't know why.
I don't know how.
I don't know why.
I don't know.
Jerky Boys, that was podcasts before podcasts were around, right? We based our podcast largely on the Jerky Boys That was That was podcast Before podcasts were around
Right
They really
We based our podcast
Largely on the Jerky Boys
Yeah
They might be the forefathers
Yeah
Of podcasts
Oh god bless them
The two fathers
There's only two of them
Is there only two Jerky Boys
They haven't started
A league of Jerky Boys
Although they did
They did have a parting of ways
From what I understand
Oh really
Yeah
Yikes
They were jerky to each other
Which was their first rule.
Never be jerky to the jerky boys.
Only be jerky to the outside world.
The one guy lost his shoes and glasses,
and it's because the other one stole it.
That's a jerky boys reference.
Nobody will get it.
Now, Bob Kerr,
you are split.
We were just talking with Mark Little.
He moved to Toronto from Halifax
You split your time between Toronto and Halifax
That's right
How is it? Is it okay?
How friendly are the people? I hear very
They're aggressively friendly
Gross
Explain what does that mean
Aggressively friendly
Are they just always waiting for an opportunity?
Yeah
People are always like Hey come on come on, crash my couch.
I'm like, no, I got a place.
No, do it.
Come on.
I don't have the couch.
Fluffing his pillow in front of your face.
Feathers are flying out.
It's like a cartoon.
A Chuck Jones animated special.
Well, if that wasn't the greatest drift off, I don't know what is.
Cartoon like a Chuckuk-chunk.
Chuk-chunk.
That's how I do my comedy.
It's all trail-offs.
Now, Overheard, you're aware of the segment.
I'm aware of the segment, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You said at the beginning...
Now, before we do Overheard, it's time for my favorite segment of all.
at the beginning.
Now before we do overhears,
it's time for my
favorite segment of all.
This is a segment
called Celebrity Birthdays
where like very many
entertainment shows
of our ilk,
we celebrate the
birthdays of celebrities.
We are recording this
on Saturday,
March the 3rd.
Dave,
before you do that,
I have to do
my favorite segment.
A little segment called Hulk Hogan News.
Hulk Hogan News, everybody.
What's new with Hulk Hogan this week?
Every week, Graham...
I investigate.
I go under the radar.
I put on a bandana.
I travel in Hulkamaniac circles.
At my own peril to collect all the greatest Hulk Hogan news from around the world.
Hulk Hogan.
Do you use some kind of internet search for this?
Yeah.
You go brother and then you just put that in Google.
Then you do some prayers, take some vitamins.
Brother plus vitamins plus prayers.
Click, I'm feeling lucky.
Hulk Hogan did an interview
this week with a
website called One Wrestling.
Which wouldn't work.
Right?
You need two to wrestle.
Yeah.
What is the sound of one man wrestling?
Yeah.
Brother!
I don't know.
If that one man is Hulk Hogan.
Yeah!
No, I don't know who that is.
Grunt noise.
Hulk Hogan talked about his old nemesis, the Ultimate Warrior, in an interview.
He said during WrestleMania VI, the Ultimate Warrior was unprepared and very unprofessional.
And Hulk Hogan said it's one of the worst matches he's ever participated with anybody in in his entire career.
And he also called the Ultimate Warrior a pussy.
Them's wrestling words.
When was WrestleMania 6?
Oh, like early 90s-ish, right?
80s?
Yeah. V1 isish, right? 80s? Yeah.
V1 is six, right?
That's how it was on the website, and I was like, that's four or six.
I do not know.
Why does WWE assume that their fans know Roman numerals?
They're pretty bright.
Well, that's great Hulk Hogan news.
Yeah.
He didn't sound so ultimate, if you ask me.
No doubts, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Now, backtracking to celebrity birthdays.
Big happy birthday to Jessica Biel, who turns the big 3-0 today.
Whoa.
End of career.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
Happy birthday to public radio nerd Ira Glass
who's 53 today.
End of career.
Yeah, right?
Bud Bundy, David Faustino, is 38 today.
Hey!
David Faustino!
He made it!
Right? We didn't think he would.
And
the answer to this week's trivia question,
this rapper and actor
liked him some
funky cold medina.
Tone Loke is...
Tone Loke. How old is Tone Loke?
Pardon me. 46 today.
46? Wow! If I can also add to this with a non-celebrity birthday, it is my brother John's birthday
today.
Happy birthday, John Curran.
Are you sleeping, brother John?
So true.
Now, here's a quick just anecdote about David Faustino.
Remember when we were trying to come up with a name for the podcast?
You were like, what name could we go with? And my first suggestion was The Faustino. Remember when we were trying to come up with a name for the podcast? You were like, what name could we go with?
And my first suggestion was
The Faustino Factor.
Would we be here today?
Oh, we would be huge.
Faustino would be here.
We'd be in Sky Dome.
Oh, yeah.
That'd be so misleading. You'd get all of these listeners
and they'd be like, I need me some Faustino.
Oh, we would do it it as a matter of course.
When Dave said come up with a name, I also just thought, well, let's do a podcast about David Faustino.
Just classic Faustino moments.
In a way, we've always been doing it.
Do you guys remember when he was like...
That's when he was carrying us.
Remember when he was just trying something underhanded to get with a girl?
What? I remember that episode.
It's a bit like...
He was a rapper.
He was one of the first.
Right? There was Tone Loke
and then him and then Coolio.
They've only been
seven rappers ever.
Guys, we have some overheard business to take care of.
For real.
Let's take care of it.
Now, the way that we do it at the live taping is we're going to start, of course, with our
guest, and then we're going to work around, and then we're going to invite people of the
audience to come up and share their overheards until we say enough's enough.
Pretty early, probably.
Before you're ready for it to be over.
Now, Bob, before the show you said
I don't have an overheard, but then you remember you had
one from a friend?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm going to credit my friend
Craig Brown with this one. Craig Brown,
happy birthday. Happy birthday to Craig Brown.
I love you, Craig.
So he emailed this to me immediately when he heard it.
What is your email address, Bob?
Oh, of course.
I could actually give it, and now I wouldn't give it.
Come on.
No, you'll get things.
That's a great thing.
We have the most fantastic audience in the history of podcasts.
If you put it out there, you're going to get some nice
emails. Feel free to email me at thisisbobsemail
at gmail. Oh, nice. There you go. Thisisbobsemail
at gmail. It's easy. Nice. You're in trouble.
I'll take it. I don't care.
I don't care. What's the worst?
My inbox fills up with what?
I can read it.
No.
I like to do that.
So my buddy, Craig, he was on the subway.
And there was these two guys just having a very intellectual conversation about AIDS.
Global AIDS.
Sure.
Global AIDS.
Like AIDS around the world.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like altogether AIDS.
Yeah, AIDS across America.
You know, the thing that unites us
and
and it was
and these two guys
were talking about it
and one guy was like
did you know
that there is
1.3 million children
with AIDS
and then the other guy's like
what I want to know
is who's letting
all these kids have sex
some good subway logic And the other guy's like, what I want to know is who's letting all these kids have sex.
Some good subway logic.
Right on the subway, ladies and gentlemen.
Blur line.
Oh, man.
A couple of detectives.
It all comes down to parenting.
I think one of them was Christopher Hitchens.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
Before he dies. Now, Dave, do think one of them was Christopher Hitchens. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Before he dies.
Now, Dave,
do you have an overheard?
I do.
Mine is an overseen.
It is from the city of Toronto.
I was walking past
a store
on Bay Street.
The beautiful Bay.
And it was some
good vandalism.
It was a sign
that someone had
removed a letter from. And it was a store and theyism. It was a sign that someone had removed a letter from,
and it was a store, and their awning...
Their store was supposed to be called Shoe Therapy,
but someone had removed the S,
and it was called Ho Therapy.
Pretty good, Toronto.
There is something else on Bay Street.
I was with my friend yesterday.
I never noticed this.
It's on Bay and Dundasas Right beside the Greyhound Terminal
There is a barber shop
You get your barbering done
Hello
I'm not good
I'm not good on key
Anyways you get your hair cut there
And beside the barber place
Is a
A barber Like Anyways, you get your hair cut there. And beside the barber place is a barber tools shop.
Like where you need all your barbering done.
A scissor shop?
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm like, their only customer has to be their neighbor.
Like, who is going to be like, I need Barbasol.
I need 10 gallons of Barbasol.
And you'll be in until Monday.
Yeah.
I told you, two weeks in advance.
Remind me your name again.
I work next door.
I'm here every day.
Scissor Pete.
The worst is the 10-minute wait line, you know?
It's just hundreds of people just clamoring for barber supplies.
I need my scalp massager repaired.
Now, Graham.
Yes.
You're also an integral part of this show.
Oh, go on.
And I wonder if you haven't overheard.
I haven't overseen.
Similar to yours in that it's a graffiti.
It is the most polite graffiti I have ever witnessed.
It is the most polite graffiti I have ever witnessed in all my years of appreciating graffiti.
This is as polite a graffiti as you will ever see because there's a series of ads on the Toronto subway for a morning DJ duo called Roz and Mocha.
Goodness.
Very popular.
Gracious. I noticed on the signs
oh wait
never mind
shush
the two
Roz and Mocha
for anybody
who's listening at home
Mocha
just looks
he just looks like a guy
looks like any other guy
and you know
just like
he's just a guy
he could be
he could be working
at Barbara Pete's
he could be
doing any number of things.
Roz,
that is most certainly the only
job he could ever have had
outside of Vegas musician.
Not musician, magician.
Sorry. Because he looks
a little bit like Garth Brooks
Chris Gaines persona.
And then a little bit like
Chris Angel. It's the meeting
of the two Chrises.
And they've done these ads
in a style that it looks like
the cover of Esquire
magazine. Rolling Stone. Well, it's Rolling Stone
but it's how they do it on it. Anyways,
it's a lot of writing.
Are you sure? What's the one about
style and music?
Anyways, there's a bunch of, you know, like, it's like there's articles in this fake magazine that they've made.
Like, you're supposed to, like, ooh, it was amazing.
I don't know.
I don't know if that's what they're going for.
Like, maybe a Rosamund magazine.
But there's a bunch of questions like, you know, what did you learn today? Or, like, just something like a little glib. That is one of you know what did you learn today?
Or just something like a little glib. That is one of them.
What did you learn today? And then
there's a question on the
Raw's one that says
is this really
Toronto's sexiest man?
And somebody has written on a little
removable sticker
in the nicest printing
that you've ever seen.
Not a chance. And affixed it
to the poster.
That's beautiful.
Not a chance, Roz.
But the one thing
we both noticed on one of those
posters, I think it was for non-Roz.
Mocha? Mocha.
It was, it said
Drunk Dial Much. Yeah, Drunk Dial. It was it said drunk dial much. Yeah, drunk dial much
and it gave a phone number that you could drunk dial
and who wants to hear that?
Well, maybe it was to drunk dial much.
Is it killing?
I want to see
Eve 6.
Inside out, please.
Play more videos.
Where's Speaker's Corner?
Bring back electric circuits. Bring back electric circuits.
Bring back electric circuits.
More intimate, less interactive.
So now we're going to turn it over
to our live theater audience
here at the Comedy Bar in Toronto.
If anybody is bold enough to come up on stage
and share with us their overheard, you're more
than welcome. At this point in time... Oh, look,
some lights came up.
Right there in the front row. Come on up.
I will hold...
Come over this way.
Hi there.
How are you doing? Hello, what is your name?
My name's Amanda. Hi, Amanda. I'm Dave.
I'm Laura's sister
Alright
And I have an overseen
It's classic from the streetcar on TTC
And on the back of the seat it says
You have nothing to fear but fear itself
Fear spiders
Spiders should be feared
Nice Absolutely Pretty good First over here, fantastic fear itself. Fear spiders. Spiders should be feared. Nice.
Absolutely.
First over here. Fantastic.
Don't just fear fear.
Yeah, yeah.
Fear spiders, because god damn it, right?
They're the worst.
I'm a fan of them. I like them.
I like the spiders, right?
Do you fear snakes?
I don't, no, because I live in Vancouver. Yeah.
Like I would fear them
if I was in Snake Town.
If I was
popping it up in Snakeville. Yeah.
Oh, is that a community here
in Snakeville?
That's my favorite
genital themed
TTC stop.
Nobody ever gets off at Snakeville.
By the old mill.
The who.
All right.
Do we have somebody else?
Somebody else?
All right.
We got somebody else in the front row.
We got some people.
I'll get to all of you, I swear.
I won't get to all of you.
Not all.
No.
I'm all ready for this.
Name and then overheard.
I'm Lisa. I'm also Laura's sister. All right, name and then overheard. I'm Lisa.
I'm also Laura's sister.
I knew it.
I was recently in the hospital, and my mom came and helped me out.
And the waiting room, after the normal waiting room when you're in the gown and everything,
and you're waiting for the doctor to come in, there was another dude in front of us,
and he was telling us the whole story to the doctor of his medical history and everything.
And he just kept on going on and on, like he had his bladder removed, his gallbladder removed, his appendix five feet of his intestines.
And me and my mom are just laughing, saying, we're here for nothing.
Come on.
And so, yeah.
Pretty great.
Pretty great. Pretty great. It feels like the bladder removed.
It seems like that was like, ooh, whoops.
Yeah, yeah.
Like the gallbladder is the one you remove.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The bladder is like.
It is a service you can get at the hospital, though.
You're like, can I get everything removed?
Please.
Just keep my eyes.
I need to see what you're doing.
Does anybody else?
Anybody else?
Oh, yes.
This gentleman here.
And then that lady there.
Come on, gentlemen.
Yeah.
You're the gentleman.
Oh, he's like, is it me?
Am I so?
Could it be?
Well, start living your life correctly.
We can't see you very well.
All right.
Name and overheard.
My name's Noel.
And this is my boyfriend's overheard during the G20.
Are you also related to Laura?
Yes.
Okay.
I'm Asian, by the way.
And Laura's not.
So this happened during the G20, and it was a week before Pride, I think.
Pride is what?
Gay Pride.
Oh, okay.
So that's like a hockey tournament?
Yes.
This was as the cop car is on fire, shit's going down.
Okay.
And somebody walks by and is like, this is the worst pride ever.
Absolutely.
What a gentleman.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
You know, if the police car was on fire, there's things that you can buy that you throw into the fire and they make it like rainbow colors.
I've never heard of that.
And that would make it the best prize.
Yeah, right?
That's what I was thinking.
It's just one step away from being good.
Rainbow flames.
Sure.
Do you guys know what I'm talking about?
There's like things you can throw in a fire and it makes a rainbow color?
Makes it more dangerous.
Makes it more toxic.
Yeah, makes fire more.
Yeah, the firemen would show up be like, I can't fight this.
Are you kidding me?
Rainbow flames.
There's nothing in the manual.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We need to go to school for this.
Ours is
orange and only. Orange.
Now there was one more that you pointed out
and then that's it.
No, there's this person and then that person, and then that's it.
Ugh.
Oh, Dave.
I mean, yay.
All right.
Name and alert.
Look, I'm fine with you.
My name's Critty, and I was walking past Christy Pitts the other day,
and two terrifying teenage boys were skateboarding past me and all I heard
there was a bunch of swears on their way
but as they passed me by I heard
yo dude, have you seen the lovely bones?
Awesome, Gritty.
Fantastic.
Great work, Gritty.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you?
Yeah, what was the end of that conversation? Fuck yeah. Have you? Huh?
Yeah
What was the end of that conversation?
Fuck yeah
Stop bringing it up
Stanley Tucci was the shit
He should have totally got that Oscar
I love the Tucci
Do you love toot-toot or you love the Tucci?
I love the Tucci
Stanley
Stanley the Tucci I love toot-toot or do you love the toot? I love the toot. Sure. Stanley the toot-toot.
I love toot-toot.
I want to toot the toot.
Yeah.
Oh, toot the toot, Scott.
Next weekend is the all toot-toot jam.
We're doing our new dance where you toot the toot.
Everybody toot the toot.
Toot the toot now.
Do we have one more?
We have one more in the people that put up their hands.
This lady over here
We skew female
Yeah, right?
Yeah
But it's fun
Hey, I don't mind
It's 2012, let's do it
Look, I'm out of town
The wife's in a different city
Yeah, right?
I'm allowed to overhear whatever I want
Name and overheard if you would
Hi, my name is Arden
I'm from Chicago
And this may also be sort of a drunk dial.
I was, a couple months ago, I was walking by,
and I saw two guys just kind of on a corner,
and as I passed them, all I heard was,
yeah, my uncle can do unlimited push-ups, too.
Arden from Chicago, everybody!
Yes! Unlimited push-ups. Two. Arden from Chicago. Yeah. Yes.
Unlimited push-ups.
They serve unlimited push-ups at Boston Pizza.
Saturdays only.
Wonderful.
Round of overhearts, everybody.
Give them a hand.
Oh, Lordy.
Bob Kerr, if people want to find out more about you, where should they go?
They might as well just follow me on my Twitter site.
Your Twitter's hilarious.
Oh, thank you.
And likewise.
Oh, get out of here.
Stop with this.
What are you on?
Dave, you got a great Twitter, too.
Yeah, I know.
If people want to follow you on Twitter, what is it?
It's at MrBobKer.
Mr is M-R.
MrBobKer.
Yeah.
When you're this big.
You're Mr...
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I thought it was going for an old cat phrase.
Oh, they call you Mr.
I'm sorry.
You know what?
And feel free to drunk email me.
Yeah, absolutely drunk email him.
Get drunk, email me, I'll reply back.
Also drunk.
Yeah, I'll get wasted for it.
Bob Kerr!
Thank you, thank you.
I think...
Come on, look.
Yeah, I'm fucking coming in Yeah Mr. Bob Kerr again
Another round of applause, please
Alright, we're gonna do one last
Well, let's not introduce the seggy
Just yet
Let's introduce the guesty
Okay
Our next guest
This gentleman is a long-time friend of ours
Multiple guest on the podcast.
And we had a guest, Deborah DiGiovanna, who was going to be on the show.
Don't. Come on.
She was sidelined by an injury, and this gentleman just this afternoon was awesome enough to agree to be on the show at the last minute when we were without.
We were short a guest. This gentleman
stepped in. He's one of our favorite dudes.
He used to live in Vancouver. He lives in Toronto
now. And it's our loss in Vancouver.
Your gain. Please welcome to the stage
Mr. Connor Haller, everybody.
Yeah, double-breasted cardigan
Double-breasted cardigan
I almost wore my gray blazer tonight
It was really cool
You know what?
A real hot gray blazer night
Oh, goodness
Mine's greenish
Cool
Hot show
This is the part where we simmer down
Now Connor
It's the denouement of the evening
It's a lesson
Yeah this is a lesson
Where you're all going to learn why you were here
Connor
You're fairly new to Toronto
You're not as new as a Mark Little
But you were here
You came out to the
Canadian Film Centre.
Yeah, that's right.
You were one half
of Bronx Cheer, which was out of Vancouver.
You moved, and we still
retained one half, and then he moved,
so now we have none of it.
None of it. Toronto has 100%
of the magic.
Yeah, yeah.
Honestly, you guys, if you have not seen them, you've got it now.
And we have, what do we got?
Pot.
Yeah.
It's a great pot, though.
Yeah, well.
It's real good.
It does the pain.
You got that cush.
Now, so what are you doing here in Toronto?
What's going on for you here?
Well, I've been doing a lot of hanging out
I love it
Tell me all about it
And
Well
I got a couple things on the go
My birthday was a week ago
So I got a 3D TV
So y'all know that's fat
Y'all know that's sick as hell.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You don't get to move on yet.
Tell us about the 3D TV.
Do you need a special little...
You gotta wear goggles.
Do you need to plug them in?
Also, also, also, are there any shows shot in 3D?
There aren't, right?
None.
Absolutely none.
And it's the worst.
It is the worst thing to be...
I'll be watching a movie with my girlfriend.
I'll be like, yeah, this is a good part. And I'll be like watching a movie With my girlfriend And I'll be like
Yeah this is a good part
And I'll like look over
And she's wearing the 3D goggles
And I'm like
Eww
I hate this
Yeah
And I found out that this like
We like
We have a
A friend that lives
Right across the street
That we just found out about
And our blinds
Via your 3D glasses
They're very powerful
Heavily modded 3D glasses. They're very powerful.
Heavily modded 3D goggles.
I'm into the hack scene.
Yep.
Your steampunk 3D glasses.
Have you seen the wild, wild spider roaming around?
It's awesome in 3D.
So I've been watching a lot of 3D flicks.
Mostly animated movies. So that's been watching a lot of 3D flicks Mostly animated movies So that's been fun
What's been the best so far
In terms of the television 3D effect?
3D?
Do you need to buy a special DVD?
Or Blu-ray or 3D-ray?
It's like
I have a PlayStation 3
So you can do it through the PlayStation 3
So that's usually where we get the 3D stuff.
And we've only really seen maybe three 3D movies.
90.
That was the worst.
And I think the best one,
I'm going to say Final Destination 5.
Five noughts.
Oh, man.
No spoiler or whatever, but that twist at the end, right?
If you've seen any of the previous
Four Final Destinations
If you haven't, then it really
It's like the twist at the end is like
You have to see the first four
To get the fifth.
But it's really strong.
What a horrible thing.
Right?
Oh, the twist is real.
Oh, but you have to sat through four of these terrible films.
Oh, but the twist is really worth it.
Guys.
Oh, wait.
What was the second thing?
Yeah.
Your second
Yeah you got
You got a 3D thing for your birthday
3D TV
That fizzled out
Yeah
That we
We really wound that one into the ground
Yeah
And then
I get
I just
Just work
Yeah
Alright
But it's a
I'm a stripper
So it's a hot job
I don't know
I know that
Like Dave
You're not a frequenter
Of strip clubs
I don't know if Connor
If you are
But
You are
Oh yeah sure of course
Look at me
Are you kidding me
No he's not
I don't want you to think less of him
But you know
When I was
When I
In Alberta
When I turned like 18
You were allowed to go
Into strip clubs and stuff
And drink
Yeah right
And
18
Bieber
And yeah exactly
Me and Justin Bieber
Both
And sometimes you would see a stripper
Strip to a song that you really liked
And it would just ruin that song
Really like
Vagina up that song
Not that that's bad
But it like
Sometimes like
Runaway Train was not the song
You know what I mean
Why did I beg that
Slowest strip in the world
Yeah
It's so sad.
And at the end, she holds up a phone number to call.
She's got milk cartons on her.
You ever seen these missing kids?
Gross.
Gross.
Now, Connor, we have brought you on here to do, we wanted to do a segment, and we were talking about it last night.
Well, what we do from time to time is we will take two celebrities who we kind of remind us of each other.
Like we've done Dermot Mulroney and Dylan McDermott.
We did the Bill Pullman, Bill Paxton before it was popular.
We did Alba and Beale, your Jessicas. We did Bow Wow
and Romeo, your Lils.
Yeah.
And tonight, we thought we would compare
two people who are
similar looking
and a local tie-in.
Actor
Brian Dennehy and Mayor
Rob Ford.
Rob Ford.
He's okay.
When we told Connor about this thing last night,
he lost his mind with how great he thought it was going to be, right?
You were like, yes!
Like you were doing air punches.
Snaps like, yeah, he does look like Rob Ford.
Yeah, they're big.
White hair.
Now, for the home listener, just Google who these people are and look what they look like.
If you're from Toronto, you probably know what Rob Ford looks like.
Handsome.
He's the most handsome man.
Brian Dennehy, if you don't know, he was in First Blood.
He was the sheriff.
He was in Tommy Boy.
He played Tommy Boy's dad, Big Tom.
Mr. Callahan.
Yes.
Callahan Motors.
And other stuff. I don't know
FX
He was in FX
Oh he was in FX
FX2 as well
And he was also
In a movie about boxing
Where he kept
Putting his head down
And the person would
Punch the top of his skull
And break their hand
Was it Gladiator
Starring Cuba Gooding Jr
I think it might have been
FX2
I think
I'm thinking
So the way this works
Is I say a word Or a phrase, and our contestants, Connor and...
Cheetah Bowser.
Yeah.
Greg need to say whether the word or phrase is more Brian Dennehy or more Rob Ford.
Right.
So, for instance, I don't know.
Butts.
I don't have an example one.
I'm going Dennehy on that one.
I'm going to also say,
well, no, you know what?
I'm going to say Rob Ford.
I'm going to be contrary.
My instinct says Dennehy,
but you know what?
Rob Ford likes himself some butts.
What's the answer on that one?
There is no right answer.
Oh, what?
We're going to start kind of easy.
The later questions will
be harder. Okay. First
one. Martha Stewart.
Martha Stewart.
That isn't actually that easy. You're right.
Yeah. Yeah. That's
the easiest one. Okay. I'm going to go
Brian Dennehy on
Martha Stewart. I'm going to go ahead and agree
with Connor and say I feel like Brian Dennehy probably made like a bunt cake.
Brian Dennehy is good friends with Martha Stewart.
That was my reasoning.
I was like, yeah, they probably met each other.
Dennehy's kind of in the same scene.
Same stockbrokers.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Is that really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really.
According to IMDB
Next one
Wow
The word is pinko
Oh, that's
Ford
That's Rob Ford
That's Ford
That's Rob Ford forever
He just looks pink
He's the pinkest mayor in Canada
He briefly dated pink
That was his campaign slogan
Pinka
Yeah Millionaire racist Don Cherry used the word pinko He briefly dated pink. That was his campaign slogan. Pinka.
Yeah.
Millionaire racist Don Cherry used the word pinko at least four times during a speech at Rob Ford's inauguration.
There you go.
True.
Casually.
And Rob Ford also uses his pinkies all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's got one really long nail.
It's his button-pressing finger.
I can touch this button with my finger.
Oh, can you believe he's got his fingernail on the button?
Guys, you voted him in.
The next word is Tony.
Oh, that could be either the Broadway musical award or some guy.
Or Frank D'Angelo.
I feel like it was Guido.
Oh, man, that's a tough one. Broadway musical award or some guy. Or Frank D'Angelo. I feel like it was Guido.
Oh, man.
That's a tough one. Brian Dennehy does have
a lot of friends named Tony.
But there's no way
that Brian Dennehy won a Tony.
Or is there?
It's a musical award, right?
Well, it's Broadway awards,
so it's not necessarily musicals.
It could be anything on Broadway.
Then I'm going to go Dennehy
on that one.
Because he is a famous theater actor. Yeah, just to shake it up, I'm going to say Rob Ford. Even though I'm gonna go Dennehy on that one Cause he is a famous theater actor
Yeah just to shake it up I'm gonna say Rob Ford
Even though I lean towards the Dennehy
Brian Dennehy has won
Two Tony Awards
For his role as Mr. Mephistopheles
In Cats
Oh what? No! That's not true
He was in Death of a Salesman and something else.
I don't know.
Plays are dumb.
The next one is cocoon.
Oh, I think we all know where this one's going.
Yeah, that's a Dennehy, right?
That's got to be Dennehy.
Or a Brimley.
Mayor Rob Ford once ate a bunch of butterfly cocoons off a branch
because he thought it was a marshmallow tree.
Oh, that was close.
The next word is orientals
I think Brian Denny played one
Yeah, in Breakfast at Tiffany's
I think he adopted
Hollywood had problems in the early days
I'm going to say that that's a Rob Ford.
Oh, I got to go Rob Ford on that one, too.
In a 2008 debate, Mayor Rob Ford referred to Asians as Orientals.
He later apologized, stating that he meant to say Chinamen.
I think that's, I remember that.
I think in the paragraph that he set up about that, he used orientals about five times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He uses it in place of pinkos.
The next word is Ted.
Ted.
Brian Dennehy probably did a Ted talk about Tommy Boy starring in...
Yeah, facts about Tommy Boy.
How to star in Tommy Boy. How to die early in Tommy Boy. in... Yeah. Facts about Tommy Boy. How to star in Tommy Boy.
How to die early in Tommy Boy.
Spoilers.
I want to go Tommy Boy, or I want to go Brian Dennehy.
Face it.
You think he's Tommy Boy.
I only know Brian Dennehy from Tommy Boy.
The other night I told Dave, I was like, yeah, Brian Dennehy's dead, right?
Dave's like, no, he just died in Tommy Boy.
But for the sake of argument.
I feel bad because both of these men, like, they don't look good.
They could be dead by the end of this podcast.
But for the sake of argument, I'm going to go for Rob Ford.
I think he knows a lot of Ted's.
of argument, I'm going to go for Rob Ford. I think he knows a lot of
Ted's.
Brian Dennehy starred in the 1996
version of Romeo and Juliet
as Ted Montague.
Way to update it.
We'll just call him
Ted Montague.
This is Buck Capulet.
I'm Ted Montague. These are my kids. I'm Ted Montague.
These are my kids.
Romeo.
Is Romeo Montague?
No, yeah.
Juliet Capulet.
My kids, Romeo.
Devin.
Yeah.
Brad.
Yeah.
Kyle.
They're all boys.
I'm like the opposite of Casey at the Met.
And Mercutio.
Yeah. The black kid.
From Lost.
And finally,
the final, I think you guys are tied.
By the way.
Yep.
The final word is Doug.
Oh, that's, yeah, I'm going to say that's definitely Rob Ford.
I got to go Rob Ford on that one. Why are you saying that?
Because that is the name of his brother, who is a city councilor?
Yep.
Well, you're both right, but for the wrong reasons.
Mayor Rob Ford wants Doug a two-week-old burrito between two couch cushions and ate it.
Oh, man.
That was a hot round of Denny Heath versus Rob Ford.
Connor, if people want to find out more about you, where do they go?
Online or whatever?
I'm all over the internet.
Tell me about it. GoDaddy.com. Where do they go? Online or whatever? I'm all over the internet.
GoDaddy.com No, probably my Twitter,
which is Connor Holler,
or at Connor Holler.
There's one N and an O in Connor.
That's valid.
Two Os, really.
C-O-N-O-R.
There we go.
And then Holler, like the yell.
Yeah.
Holler!
But with an E-R.
No, it's actually A-A-A-O-R. There we go. And then holler like the yell. Yeah. Holler. But with an E-R. No, it's actually A-A-A-A-A.
Like Ellen says.
Yes.
Yeah, and that's probably the best place, I think.
Awesome.
Well, thank you so, so much for being a guest on the show.
And not only being a guest, but stepping up at the last minute.
That was amazing.
And we are in your debt.
And you were fantastic.nor holler everybody thanks guys
somehow i'm neither here nor there yeah um They're doing great work with sound tonight
My goodness
Round of applause for the sound
Absolutely, Daryl
So great
Well, that's it
That's the entirety of the show that we had all figured out
And honestly, we are beyond blown away
That people showed up
And like showed up Like we put it on sale and people bought tickets.
Yeah, yeah, super fast.
Thank you all so very much.
I apologize to those of you who couldn't get tickets who are listening at home.
Yeah.
Pensioners, the blind, et cetera.
But it really has.
We're very humbled and grateful that anybody would go to their way to show up at this show.
And we'll be out and around outside if you want to say hello to us.
Graham gives great hugs.
I do.
I give back rubs.
Yeah.
But you guys were amazing, and thank you so much, everybody, for coming out.
And we – that's it, I guess.
Best wishes.
Thank you very much.
Have a good night