supermegashow - EP 269 - The Big Hat (ft. NothinButLag)

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

Our good ol’ boy NothinButJustin is back in town! Listen as we hoot AND holler! Get 35% OFF your first month of Dream, PLUS get a free mug and frother. Head to BeanOrganics.com/SUPER Get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/MEGACAST. Visit ExpressVPN.com/supermega to get three extra months free.  Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at MintMobile.com/SUPERMEGA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Hey, Ontario, got any plans? How about a trip to the casino right here, right now? With DraftKings Casino, all your favorite games are in the palm of your hand. Play the classics like blackjack, roulette, slots,, and Baccarat. Or take a spin on exclusive games you won't find anywhere else.

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19 and over and physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See casino.draftkings.com for details. Please play responsibly. Now I'm going to do something and I want you guys to jump in if you recognize it, okay? Okay.

If I don't recognize it, I will not. Bum bum bum bum ba dum bum bum bum bum bum bum ba ba dum ba ba da da da da da da da da da da da If I don't recognize it, I will not. Welcome, everyone, to the Super Mega Podcast. I'm Justin. I'm here with Matt and Ryan. Welcome back again. Music's fading out now.

Hey, guys. Hey, what's up? It's a classic. Jim Kulikowski or whatever that guy's name is. Sunny Side Up. Sunny Side Up, bro. Those are the days, man. Dude, I do get very nostalgic when I hear that song.

When I hear that one and when I hear Rainbow Road. I listen to Rainbow Roads every now and then. I do, too. Rainbow Road. Not that one. Take me home. It's the one that we used to use as the outro. With the fucking spinning shit everywhere. Yeah, dude.

That shit was overstimulating. Yeah, bro. That was very 2016 YouTuber. We were assaulting people. Yeah, it was like... With our content. It worked. When I made that, I thought it was like with our content it worked when i made that

i thought it was like okay the more motion graphics the better so like i made like all the text is like we got to start every single video doing like the thing with like the bell comes in like every like i have so many people do the green screen thing that like everyone we're gonna eventually probably fall into that because everything like i think we've like what if we do this i think we've eventually ended up doing. Well, if you search, but we still haven't done the click that. Click that. Well, subscribe.

If you search vlogs by like newest on YouTube and just watch random people's vlogs with two views. So many people just have the same green screen where it's like, yeah, and because they don't like understand like how to control the volume. Like back and forth when it gets clicked. I've seen that one. And it'll be like decimating to your ears like hey guys we should do you guys should do like a really serious video

talking about some like really serious shit but then it's just like all those green screens and shit that like and like using like the fucking Kevin like what's his name Kevin Mac Mac Mac yeah using his fucking music in the background like do do do do do the classic do do like Kevin MacLeon. Yeah, using his fucking music in the background. Like, do-do-do-do-do. The classic do-do.

Dude's like announcing my cancer. And it's like, hey guys. And like, it like cuts me out. Like, you can't even hear what I'm saying. I was saying we should do a sketch. I actually said this the other night. We should do a sketch that's super high quality and dramatic.

But you just cannot hear what we're saying. Because shit like that just keeps coming in. Like, saying to subscribe and like. Go like go to super mega mart dot what is it is it dot net super mega mart dot net super mega dot com was the ideal one but some real estate company in dallas has that and has not changed it forever and i don't think we'll sell it so well bug it i know i'm fine with super mega show dot net. And, you know, we actually probably should have just tried to get the at super mega handles on Twitter and Instagram back then, because I didn't realize, like, oh, we could probably just message these people. Like, hey, can we? Yeah, you can buy them.

Give you probably still we're stuck now. We can't move all that. Well, I just don't want to change it because every single tweet in that past will now be like untagged or every. I just don't want to change it because every single tweet in that past will now be like untagged or every no if you change your username it changes every like at mention really the new one yeah it links it

because at no fibbing I do have to say though if we change the at it will undo the verification that's true but and we could probably hit someone up at twitter and be like can you like no we actually didn't mean to give it to you in the first place. And we're glad you brought this up.

So take it away. This dude on his phone. I just want to mention that we so we did some videos with Meat Canyon recently. And Hunter was originally supposed to be on the podcast, but we recorded a drunk drawing. Justin was here. Justin drove me home. I did. I drove Ryan home that night.

That was a... Hunter drove me home. That was an interesting night because it was like almost five in the morning when we finally left the office. When you're like blackout drunk, time just does not... You don't realize what time it is at all. And you're like, oh, it's 5? I thought it was 11. I know. I was editing the Simpsons video really late, and

I just remember looking, and I did not realize that it was 3 a.m. And I looked at my phone. I actually did a double take. I was like, what the fuck? I did too, and I saw it was like 4.30. Remember when Matt caught you, I think? Yeah, I walked in at one point. I was exhausted.

We did so many live action videos for Spooky Mega this year, I walked in at one point. Yeah. And dude, I was exhausted. Like I've we did so many live action videos for Spooky Mega this year. Like I walked in. That was crazy. And Justin is like sitting in his chair, like almost like it was like for a sketch. It's like, all right, Justin, like pretend to be asleep the best you can. You were like this with your mouth open. But I knew you weren't faking it because you had your headphones on. But I knew you weren't faking it because the screensaver was going.

Yeah, I was like, oh, but you woke up when i walked in i tried not to wake you up no it's okay man i needed to get back to work you a light sleeper i'm a pretty light sleeper me too it depends it depends on how tired i am though like i'm surprised my vomiting didn't wake you up yeah that's what happened because it was like almost six in the morning i had been up for an insane amount of time it was also very stressful driving you back because I'd never driven Ryan's car before and it's stressful driving someone's car for the first time my car that I have is only two doors

so it's a little bit smaller too and I was not used to driving a big fucking Z3 right? I can't remember that shit like six months ago bro McLaren? anyways no I drove Ryan's car back and like it's a like if you can imagine me, you know, five foot two stepping into a halo war.

It's a more boaty car, I guess. It's a big fucking boat. I like it. It's like a sedan. It turns sharper than you would expect it, though. No, it's spry. It's a little spry. Yeah.

It's a little spry for a big car. Hey, fun to drive. You know what I'm saying? I have driven your car we call it the warthog dude i drove i've driven your car before like when i had to go pick up jackson because he got locked out of my car post office yeah um but i was like surprised at the acceleration i was like all right this is really fun i drove it around burbank it picks up a little bit it's not like a like a tesla or like a sport car but like it it has a very nice smooth acceleration yeah it was it was like, it's up a little bit. It's not like a Tesla or like a sport car, but it has a very nice, smooth acceleration. Yeah, it's a nice drive.

Those Mazda boys know what they're doing. Yes, they do. I don't know if I like the My Hero Academia anime rap that you got on right now. Well, now people are going to know who I am when they see me, so I'm going to have to cut that out. Well, there's a bunch of people that have that. Yeah, there are a lot of people in LA with the My Hero Academia rap. Yeah, okay. are you sure well yours is very specific though because it has the more like rule 34 doesn't well you have the thing with the with the gas

uh thing that you open up is like yeah it's actually like where his butthole is yeah yeah it's cool it's funny i have a sleeve i put on the uh the the gas penises that That's the technical name for them. To make it look like a penis. The gas penis? That's the actual name. I wish it was. The gas penis. I'm on poem number five, but the gas penis

isn't working. You drive away, the fucking gas penis breaks off in your car. Fuck! This is truly a podcast for the bros. Yeah, it is. This is bro time. Gas penis breaks off in your car. Fuck! The gas penis was left in. This is truly a podcast for the bros. Yeah, it is. It is. This is bro time.

Gas penis? Yes! That's classic Super Mega. It is. I bet we just woke up someone that was trying to sleep. If someone ever is like, now it's all just farts and immature humor. I'm like, where have you been? Since episode one, that is essentially Ben.

Bro, I literally use the same three fart sound effects in every video we put out. I don't know where you guys have been, but if you complain about the fart noises, like... Okay, literally, I'm shrugging. You know the emoji of the woman shrugging? That's me right now. Is there a guy shrugging emoji? There is, but I like the girl one a mode there is but i i i like the well he did his makeup like the emoji looks good yeah uh second episode of super mega cast the very

second one you stand up and fart into the mic and i i did a bit where i talked about like imagining like getting surgery on my penis to be like a flute and i blow into my penis and the sound comes out of my asshole frank's on that one yeah that's the second episode on that one and he just goes why would you do that right first dude that was that that's like the first real classic fart on the channel and we all laughed we all laughed so hard it was funny as fuck because that's when we recorded with those shitty 50 microphones in our living room with no soundproofing yep and it was echoey and uh no good times good times though and we eventually got to squeeze on into the grump space were Were you watching back then, Justin?

Dude, I watched before Super Maggie. We talked about this many times. Original Cyndago fan. Oh, that's right. Damn, okay. Did you watch Kids with Problems? I mean... I said Cyndago, not...

This guy fucking sucks, dude. It it was one thing like you could have it already hurt enough that you weren't like i mean like just you're like oh fuck you by the way no i didn't say i said this guy fucking sucks sorry there's a difference there's a clear distinct difference matt no that's crazy i think the first syndicate video i ever saw was uh it would have been like 2015 is when i i found it and i think i just sorted by like oldest to newest because i did that a lot when i find new channels and i watched the fucking grenade video yeah and we're not neither you are nope it's just grayson yeah i remember i couldn't i couldn't figure out who was who because i was like okay this is daniel this is ryan and this is matt and like i couldn't i couldn't tell you guys apart it's funny because whenever people listen to the

podcast uh they can never tell who's who like like especially with our voices you too i understand it more because there are times actually we're editing or like looking back for a split second i think that it's ryan and i realize it's justin because you guys have kind of a similar we all three of us sound similar from what people say in the comments. Anytime we've recorded Sonic, I've always noticed that people are like, I can, I cannot tell who's who because we all,

Justin sounds like a mixture of both. I was, I was just thinking you sound exactly like both of us. Cause like you have the like deepness of Ryan, but you had the kind of like nasally a little bit like of, I took the best parts of both of you to create the ultimate entertainer, the best voice. That is what we would sound like if we were put together probably yeah just with a little more spice to it yeah i got more spice to my voice you know

hey a little more a little more yeah a little salt bay yeah a little salt bay we gotta go to the fucking salt bay restaurant yeah dude i saw that it's expensive as fuck is it yes how expensive it's like nice food do you see how expensive is it though salt bay started a restaurant wasn't there like a video or like some was it a meme video where some woman was like cheating on her dude i think it's a real video it's found out through the window and like salt bays that or some like some guy who looks like salt bay who the fuck decided to call him salt Bae? And why do we willingly call him Salt Bae? Because I don't know his real name. What am I going to call him? What's his actual name?

Salt Bae restaurant prices have shocked the internet again. For $2 for a steak. For two pieces of meat sushi, it's $60. Wait, that's actually a really good price. That's super cheap. For sushi and two pieces of meat? That's a good price. Well, no, that's actually a really good price. That's super cheap for the sushi and two pieces of meat. That's a good price.

Well, no, that's that's for two pieces of little sushi. Yeah. Oh, I thought you had like two steaks and some sushi. I think it's reasonably priced. Yeah. For the for the salt. No, sorry. For the hashtag Salt Bay Passion.

OK, it's 30. Wait, well, it comes with four of them and then it's one hundred twenty dollars to get that off the menu. You probably spent it costs ten bucks to get a fucking sprite what how much 10 for a sprite isn't it what the fuck is that that that's like that's a good deal they better make the fucking sprite in front of me for 10 what are you talking about like they gotta have like fresh dollars what are you talking about just fucking bill gates over. How much could bananas cost? $50. Oh, it's so cute.

Oh my God. He thinks detergent's $400. Aw. It's so cute. He doesn't understand how money works because he's so rich. I'd like to take this time in the podcast really quick since we're on the topic of that clip of Bill Gates and the bananas. I would just like to say fuck Ellen real quick.

Yeah, he hates Ellen. I fucking hate Ellen. A lot of people hate Ellen. And it's not even because I would just like to say, fuck Ellen real quick. Yeah, he hates Ellen. I fucking hate Ellen. A lot of people hate Ellen. And it's not even because I got pranked. Well, she personally abused you. I just hate, it's honestly, I never liked Ellen before that. And then when that happened, that was like-

But you like Dory. I fuck with Dory. Yeah, yeah. Dory's whatever. Dory's cool. Separate the art from the artist. Well, the original one. The original one.

Not Finding Dory. Finding Dory fucking sucks, dude. I didn't see it. It's not that great. Incredibles 2 is mid. I great incredibles 2 is is mid i think incredibles 2 is worse than finding dory no dude i haven't seen that i would rather watch finding dory because of the stupid colors and noises than watch the incredibles 2 but at least the incredibles 2 frozone's in it bro where's my super suit yeah but he gets he gets assaulted

does he and i think it's a very i don't i don't think they did that subject subject matter justice i heard about i didn't see the scene but i heard about it well there's the part where he gives the the no i don't the people can people have seen the movie and actually it's pretty a hot button like just honestly just bringing it up we get in trouble even though you know pixar is the one that no one really talked about it because no one really went to go see incredibles 2 right because it was it was so bad. Bro, that's fucking crazy. I can't believe they put that shit in the movie. I know. Could you imagine having to animate that? I can't. You can't animate

it? Well, that's good. Are you crying right now? I can imagine. It's emotional. It's a difficult scene to get through. It's rough. Surprising. Weird choice. It's fucked, dude. Weird choice of Pixar because normally Pixar is known as like for babies. But ever since Cars 2, they've been pushing boundaries. So I guess I get it.

I mean, they went to Japan. Okay, no, for real though, a car gets like crushed by gears in Cars 2, doesn't he? Yeah, a bunch of cars get killed. They get fucking killed. Dude, who the fuck came up with Cars 2? They get like zoinked into the ocean and drown and shit. Who the fuck came? Who saw the first Cars and was like, you know what?

Spies. Yeah. Who the fuck came? Who saw the first Cars and was like, you know what? Spies. Yeah, I never saw Cars 2 just because I was like, there's spies in the sequel. What? They're cars. I fucking hate that movie. I was there and I was eating beans and I spilled beans all over my soul. That's probably a

bad experience. Yeah, there's a tweet about it out there somewhere, I'm sure. Yeah. Damn, dude. It sucked. Did you just tap sorry to have them all over yourself yeah dude it was fucking disgusting surprised it's kind of mucusy i had like bean sauce all but it was only like halfway through the movie so i had to just sit there because like i paid ten dollars to see the movie you didn't just take your shirt off no why not why the fuck would i do that it's not like i don't want my titties out a shirtless dude in a movie theater is not abnormal i'd rather like it is yeah but then you could always hold up your i got beans on my shirt so security comes in with flashlights you're like

sir you don't understand this is bushes i tried to get uh the fucking peewee herman dude to do that trick and he just didn't. I was like, you're holding a can of beans and eating beans. I think he was doing something else. No, I know, but I was trying to tell him that would be a good excuse, the can of beans. Because he pre-planned this. He's like, I'm probably going to get caught masturbating

in a movie theater in Florida. No one will ever forgive him for that. Man makes one... Is it a mistake that. Man makes one. Is it a mistake? Man masturbates in one movie theater. It wasn't like he was he was masturbating to like Elmo and Grouchland or whatever. He was like he was in a porn movie theater.

Bro, I've been looking at Pee Wee a little different ever since that happened. Here's the thing, dude. Like, should he have been masturbating? No, no, that's weird. But he was in a porn theater. So it's not like it's, like, it's very different. People don't ever specify he was in a porn theater. Like, he wasn't at fucking Finding Nemo jerking off. And, like, fucking Yumi and Dupree, like, busting a nut. Do you expect not at least, like, one fucking soul to, like, sit in the, like, is it just

a bunch of, like, dudes that are just rock hard? Just like. Nice. Bro, that fucking starfish from Finding Nemo, though. Is it just a bunch of like dudes that are just rock hard? Just like nice. Bro, that fucking starfish from Finding Nemo, though. I mean, I wouldn't blame him if he got if he got a little little crazy for that. Yeah. Just imagining a bunch of dudes like like Ryan sitting like a porn theater rock hard. It's like nice.

Oh, oh, looking at each other for reactions. Don't do that. Imagine sitting behind a dude like that at a porn theater You're just like trying to watch the show and he's like His legs are like this They're just like Fist bumping each other All the guys are still sitting a seat apart though

Just like bouncing his leg Well a lot of porn theaters are individual booths I'm the biggest yeah boy yet Can you give us your longest yeah boy? No. Do it. What's your longest? That's as long as I could go.

I smoke. What do you expect? That's the worst yeah boy I think I've had so far. We never finished saying this. Yeah, we did. We started after we filmed the drunk drawing. Nope. Okay. They'll go on. After we finished the drunk drawing, we um okay uh they'll go on after we finished the

drunk drawing we came in here to do a podcast hunter's like let's do a podcast when we're all drunk and we're like okay um oh wow we really did not circle back to this we just got yeah so we it took a while like to get it working for some reason we get it recording and then ryan's like oh man i don't feel very good And you can see it on your face I'm like I'm talking to Hunter we're listening to music I look away for like three seconds I look back and you're on the floor Just hugging a trash can Just vomiting and I was like

Oh no Wasn't the last time I vomited that night Yeah dude I felt so bad for you You know the last time I vomited when I was drunk You were actually almost Do you know the last time I everited when I was drunk? You were actually almost tipping with the trash can. Do you know the last time I ever vomited from alcohol before that? Infamous.

Infamous. Jack Daniels and cheese incident. Yeah. The cheese incident, dude. The fucking cheese incident. That's disgusting. I might have been more fucked up than that incident. This is the most intoxicated I think I've been ever.

Jack made those cocktails so strong. Because I also got cross faded that I also had like a joint and then I smoked a ciggy and that put me over that's a one way ticket to puke town yeah like not it was not good if I'm intoxicated I didn't puke in the car

no I would there was no like oh I think I'm gonna be sick no Rob was pretty good at holding it in till he got home and then he took a really really really long shower and then I passed out and then I woke up like I only got like fucking four hours of

sleep that night and then I waited a little while for Ryan to wake up and he was just like dude my throat is fucked yeah it's better now damn Justin you did that while he was asleep yeah wow that's crazy a little sneaky motherfucker yeah dude it it fucks your throat up throwing up but oh wait i just

realized what that that was i was waiting yeah i actually didn't even fellatio deep no that's fucked that's actually fucked i didn't i didn't do that that'd be fucked up because that's because i trust you and you're my friend and then yeah that right no there wouldn't be consent if that's yeah i was surprised how casually yeah it's like oh okay uh i well i took the the bag of puke out and i threw it in the trash can and it definitely busted when i dropped it in just because the sound it made i was like oh no and i just walked away i was like i'm just I didn't like vomit that much into that bag. There's like a little puddle, but it wasn't like... It wasn't a ton.

When I got home and I fell asleep probably around like 6.30. We're going to do the podcast. Well, I was like, we're not doing the podcast. And Leighton came in every 20 minutes like, are you guys ready to do the podcast? And I was like, I don't think Ryan can do the podcast. He's like, no, no, he said he wants to. He said he wants to.

He wants to do the podcast. Can you tell how drunk I was in the drunk drawing episode? Or did most of that happen after? No, you seem just more like cross-faded. I looked at the footage. You look a little different. You look more cross-faded. You look a little different.

But yeah, I mean, it was the Amazon piss bottle that fucking did it. That's what sent me over. That shit was like pure piss. I mean, there's a lot of things that sent me. i think it was the collection of everything that sent me for me the one thing that will make me puke without fail is smoking a cigarette when i'm really dude what bro he's telling us you don't want to hear his story i'm sorry i want to hear your story man you just shit his pants while we're fucking doing the podcast oh like you've never done that dude come on you're a guest in our studio uh, I remember one of the worst I still remember

to this day was I drank a lot of whiskey and then I smoked a cigar and the cigar fucking ruined cigars for me. You look like a bandit, Justin. Does he not appreciate this? He looks like a bandit with his little cowboy hat and his shirt up his nose. Is it because he's such an asshole to me, dude? What the fuck? I said you look like a bandit.

That's a compliment, dude. You guys are just being attacked. How are you being attacked? all because i don't want to spell ryan smell ryan's fucking like rotting colon gas whoa what are you talking about buddy justin what's going on you don't have to come at him that pointed you're talking about it's a natural bodily function his asshole is pointed at me directly dude i'm sitting in a very relaxed position the chamber is pointed right at me It's right there A bullet has been fired Justin looks like he has a gun to him

Because he's like both his arms Well he pretty much does have a gun to him Okay Is that to him or me No that's to Matt That's such an aggressive reaction Why what did I do What did I do

Bitch Justin Are we going to have to take an ad break Aggressive reaction. What the fuck? Why? What did I do? Fuck you. What did I do? Bitch. Justin. I don't know. Are we going to have to take an ad break? I think so. Okay. We'll be right back after some money making. Let's go talk.

Let's go talk. Fine. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs, projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that

and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish. Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps because when it comes to getting the most out of your home,

you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Parmesan pinwheels only at Tim's. At participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. We're back. Welcome back. Gotcha. Yep.

I'm here with Matt and Justin. My name is Ryan. Hello. You just listened to some ads and now we're going to continue or maybe you didn't. Maybe you skipped them. That's okay. Well, we're back. Yeah, we're back. Let's talk about last night. Last night? The party? Yeah. Let's talk about last night. Last night? The party?

Yeah. I met Ian from Smosh. I know. That was cool as fuck. I know. Did you? I met Ian from H3H3. Who's that?

We both did, yeah. Podcast or H3Pod. I don't know anything about H3. It's H3Podcast. I watched H3 for like a week in 2016 when they were like really popping off. And then I stopped. And Sam. She's also oh yeah

i had a little halloween party last night at my place you know invited the whole squad was posted up in their costumes uh i i wasn't i i didn't have a costume either i felt bad but like i can't find the cat in the hat look if i can find the cat in the hat costume well it's november 1st let's go back in time. Give me a minute to find it. I'll talk to Justin about that. Hold on. I'm going to set a timer.

You can go and get in position, but you're not allowed to actually open the door until I start the timer. We're going to set it for 60 seconds. One minute? Or do you want a minute and 30? Give me a minute and 30. Okay. Well, door's got to be closed.

Shut the door. What? Yeah, you can have your arm on the handle. You can't start. Can I have it turned? No. No. Hand off the handle.

So I got a minute and 30 on the, okay, no, hand on the handle's fine. No, no, hand on the handle's fine. Just like that. Just like that. What's going on? Hand on the handle's okay. Look, I got the big hat on. I'm the one running the show right now for this race, okay

Nobody can see you have the big hat on Well, just imagine I'm like one of the VIPs I just saw my fucking reflection This is fucking ridiculous That's why I said you looked like a bandit Because you had your shirt like this, Chuck Yo, this hat's fucking awesome, dude

Put your shirt up and look You look like a bandit Alright, now, fillers Now what I'm gonna do Just like gauze and blurred. Okay. I'm going to set this here fucking timer for a minute and 30 seconds. God damn it.

Okay. All right. Three. Say bang. All right. Like Yosemite Sam. Yep. All right, partner.

Minute and 30 on the clock. Three, two, one. Bang. All right. partner minute 30 on the clock three two one bang all right i like the way he he very essentially sauntered out of the room yeah i thought he was gonna go way faster he's kind of like he like scuttled out of the room just fucking skipped like if you guys if any of you guys have seen regular show he kind of like moved like skips from regular show where he kind of just like very lightly skipped along what's up bro how you doing not much Not much. Did you have fun at the party last night? I had a great time, dude. That was fun as fuck.

Got to hang out with me, Canyon. Talk to, uh... A lot of nice people there. Uh... I talked to people. Did you talk to the magician? I did, dude. The magician was cool as fuck, bro.

Yeah, I... That dude was crazy. I hired a magician from the Magic Castle to come do magic. He just walked around, did card tricks for people he would like interject himself in the conversations like excuse me were you talking

about religion yeah check this out uh and he was pretty good at it uh but the magic tricks were unreal like yeah i've never seen magic that good and then he did a show for everyone and like i fucked up the trick a little bit because but he got it right still yeah even though you fucked up midway so you know that shit was Yeah Yeah man that guy was insane He was doing like My god dude

At the very beginning he's like So I should just walk around and just You know people are talking And I guess maybe he was a little nervous And then I was like I'll see some tricks And then everyone circled around and Boom

The night was off to a Lot of cool people there Ian from Smosh I was really surprised he got George Soros to show up We can't say that and boom. The night was off to a lot of cool people there. Ian from Smosh. I was really surprised he got George Soros to show up. We can't say that. Why? I can't say he was at my house.

He was literally wearing a... Oh, just Ryan. Time's up, boy! Ryan! Ryan's back. That didn't go too well, huh? No, it didn't. I'm sorry. Go ahead and just lay your finger right there. We're going to have to cut it off.

Keep it still. Keep it still. Ready? Look away. Ready? Yeah. Ooh! Ow! Clean cut, Justin. Thanks. Clean cut. I'm just going to put this napkin over it.

Don't get it on the chair you like it Justin how is it you suck that shit down suck that meat right off the bone and then eat the bone you wanna chew on the bone

yeah I'll tell I'll eat the bone for sure man you wanna break it good luck see who gets the bigger half the pain's actually settling in now

it's starting to hurt or like just sore just sore yeah it'll be fine later Good luck. See who gets the bigger half. The pain's actually settling in now. That's usually what happens. Just sore. It'll be fine later. It'll grow back. It's like a lizard's tail. It's just your index finger. You use your other fingers more than your index finger.

Wait, what'd you say? Fingers grow back. Like a lizard's tail. Yeah, for sure. Just wrap it up. That's what I'm doing. It takes a while. It. Yeah. No. Yeah. No, for sure. Yeah. Just wrap it up. And, uh, so what I'm doing, I mean, it, you know, it takes a while, but you know, it might take a really long time, but just like, like years, but you know, you'll get back at some point. Yeah.

It's crazy how willing you were to do that. Yeah. That bit with the knife, but yeah, it'll, it'll grow back. Okay. Um, no problem. Don't just, these are new. We're on the new podcast set. We're not on the van and the podcast that's not fully set up yet, but we're on our new chairs and, just, these are new. We're on the new podcast set. We're not in the van.

And the podcast set's not fully set up yet. But we're on our new chairs. We are. Just be careful not to get blood on that chair. Can I tell you something? What? I love this chair. My other chair's amazing, though.

You like the old one more? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, go sit in it. It's a nice chair. Out in the hallway. In the hallway? Next to the office. Alright, I'll give a chair review. You know what's cool about these chairs?

They have phone chargers built into them. Oh, yes. That's why they're plugged in. Yeah, I was like, why the fuck is the chair plugged in? And then I saw it was... In the hallway next to the office. No, like... The workroom. The workroom. The computer lab.

Damn, what's up, dude? Nothing much. Just kind of chilling. Yeah, well, thanks for coming to the party last night. Of course. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry for throwing you into the biggest magic trick. See, you told me at the party that everyone said Ryan, and then you jumped in.

You're like, oh. I did. They said, like, Ted. I think Ted was the first one to yell Ryan. And then a bunch of other people went ryan and then i went ryan ryan that guy may i test the new one well ryan i thought it would be perfect if i would i was the guy who was doing the magic trick and needed a partner right right maybe you gotta break it in more ryan you haven't sat that much all right i'm gonna give'm going to give my full unbiased Third party review Old one was way more comfy

Way more comfy It is a comfy chair I chose it specifically We chose our chairs I'm not saying this is uncomfy I'm just giving a I'm being sentimental I want to keep that chair

Because you won't be as comfortable in it So you won't get sleepy as easily. True. I'm going to be like shifting around sometimes checking my balls. This this chair is honestly balls for nice. This chair is got this pretty much the exact same as the one I had. Essentially right there. I feel like this one's a little bit gives you more room and it's sturdier.

This one is deeper. I can I can because this one's really deep this one's really deep this is deeper than that this one i think you know what this the new one's firmer uh no this one's more comfortable i think it just needs to be broken in more yeah it's got more space there's a lot of space for my fat ass come on hey it's not fat ass at all but yeah the final trick of the night of the magician show compliment oh so it's fat as fuck thank you uh final trick of the evening call you fat just call me fat final trick of the evening he's like i'm gonna need a volunteer i bet the magician at your party yes um and i was and everyone's like matt because it's his party and i said okay and then he's like, Matt, because it's his party. And I said, okay. And then he's like, I need a second one, Ryan.

You didn't look too thrilled. You were like. Because I'm not big into having a spotlight just, you know? Yeah. It's not my cup of tea. So all of a sudden it's like, Ryan. There were like 10 people that said it. But to me, it sounded like 20 billion.

It was 20 billion. They're all screaming my name right now. We had a discord call open with 20 billion people. But I actually fucked the trick up because. Because he said he said for me to choose a red suit and for you to choose a black suit. And you didn't know what that meant. Well, I knew it was like, OK, choose a red card or a black card. Out of the like Jokers, Queens.

But I didn't i didn't know that there's only red hearts there's no black hearts there's only black diamonds the girl that was sitting at the table next to him looked up to me and she was like diamonds or spades i was like diamond uh that was a crazy ass magic i know you because you thought of it last second i changed my card last second he didn't even touch. He flipped it and it was the card. He came over and showed me, Hunter, Justin, and Ben, who was one of your friends that I met. Ben Beal. Ben Beal.

Ben was chill. Ben's really cool. And he showed us a bunch of magic and he let each of us have like our own little trick, essentially. Do you remember the rubber band trick he did for us? Yeah, down in the garage. What the fuck was that? Those were just normal rubber bands. He'san yeah what if he is what no i mean to be honest dude some of those satan lives and he's a magician he's the grand deceiver brian markinson the great deceiver what if fucking like i'm gonna say like like obviously I know magic. It's like all sleight of hand stuff.

I watched his fucking hands closely. Some of that shit like I cannot explain how he did that. It's sleight of hand. It's suggestion. It's there was no suggestion, though, because it's saying you're saying you're watching is like it doesn't even mean anything. You got fucking cataracts, bro. Your eyes literally don't work. We don't have to come out the gate like that at me, Justin i'm just saying if i can't help that but it is true so now that that is other people are

watching though i actually don't what what are cataracts i know that's an eye thing i don't know what they are your vision starts to get like cloudy and dark oh well yeah that's what that yeah that's what matt has guys you get surgery for it whatever i want to get lasik but i don't like he could be actually magic because some of those I'm thinking there is no fucking way even like like it made no sense he you know every time I heard his voice he kind of sounded like

you know who Nardwar is he kind of sounded like Nardwar he does sound like Nardwar he was cool I like him kind of looks like what Nardwar will look like yeah Nardwar is like his age this could be his dad what what if what if they're related nard war senior his older brother uh nard war is my father's name if either you guys ever have kids are you gonna name them like is it they're gonna be junior you ever had a mad junior

or ryan junior yeah i hate that shit it's like yeah uh i'm gonna give my child's identity to my identity i'll name him brian followed by junior little ryan junior gonna cry so i'll have ryan and brian and then i'll have another kid named brian except with ia instead of ya you just have name every single one of your kids can you just keep having kids and then each one of them just name another variation of brian bryant bryant bryant bryana if it's a girl bryrian that's such an awful name is someone named brian that sounds like like a rich kid in like an alabama frat house yeah it was something on brian you know brian this is my brother chas comes off as a speech impediment i feel like bryce is a name

that i don't really like either no offense anyone in b named Bryce, but... I mean, you got Bryce Hall. Dude, I had a bully in, like, middle school named Bryce. Yeah, fuck Bryce. Or, sorry, elementary school, I guess. Fuck Bryce. Unless you're a fan named Bryce, then thank you very much. And you're cool. Yeah, you're cool. But anyone... You don't like Bryce Dallas Howard.

I mean, she's alright. I don't really like her shit that much, though. I don't hate her as a person, though. I don't hate her as a person, though. Yeah, fuck Bryce. I have a cousin named Price. Price? Yeah. Captain Price from Modern Warfare.

I don't know anyone with the first name Price. I think it's a family name for him from his dad or something. There's only one way out of here, and it's sucking cock. It's Vincent Price. Turn the lights off. It's getting Price. Turn the lights off. It's getting sloppy. Bravo 6 going dark. You know Vincent Price?

No. Why? Who the fuck are you talking about, dude? We're talking about Captain Price. Here you bugger on in. Who the fuck is this guy, dude? You know Captain Price from Modern Warfare? Fuck you. Big mustache.

The hell, Justin? Jesus. Oh my God, dude dude i'm sorry justin did i do something dude yes you didn't invite you know who to the party chuckie cheese is just a guy in a costume. No, he's real. I tried telling him to. I do gotta say, Markiplier's Salt Bae outfit was great last night. It looked better when I was fucking him in his ass. Sprinkle a little salt on that.

Oh my god. Like, you're in the back room, like dimly lit of a house during a house party, and you can hear through the walls. Justin. He's just jealous he wasn't there. And I'm imagining Mark laying on his back like this. Like as Salt Bae. And you're just, bah, bah. And he's going, oh.

And like sprinkling the salt. I got a big imagination, don't I? I got a big imagination, bro. This guy's fucking weird. I learned that from Brian, the magician. Remember how big he was into like big imagination? No, I didn't fuck you. I was going to say, like, what the fuck?

For my final trick. You're going to cum. I remember you were talking about what if his final trick is just him masturbating. Like he stands up on the table and pulls his pants down. He just busted a nut. Look again. What I didn't realize was. It's a great video.

What I didn't realize was that I was saying video what i didn't realize was that i was saying that and uh i was outside the bathroom door and he was in the bathroom probably busting you're saying that to me actually right and then you like pointed the bathroom door and i just walked downstairs i'm like ah okay fuck yeah that was he didn't hear it he was he's probably or he might have just been masturbating so he tunnel visioning couldn't hear you what if he just imagine mad did the the motion with his hand It was really funny the way he's sitting He's probably just sitting on the sink

If he takes What All of a sudden like a Like a bandana Pokes at his Like 50 feet of bandanas tied together Justin's comment Rung true matt you see you sit like a like a sneaky villain like all of a sudden all of a sudden you go from this to

hello i don't bro bro's shirt up moves like jim carrey in the fucking batman movies dude i was showing justin scenes from that justin justin didn didn't know that Jim Carrey was the Riddler. Nah, bro. I didn't know that either. Tommy G. Lones. Tommy G. Lones? I didn't know that either. Tommy G. Jones? What? Tommy G. Jones?

Tommy Lee Jones! Bro, Tommy G. Jones is crazy! Tommy Lee Jones was like Two-Face. Two-Face, man. That shit sucked, dude. He lied to his friends? It's so cringe, bro. Hot take, but the Michael Keaton Batman movies,

fuck. So I think that was Val Kilmer. Well, that was suck too, but I hate the Michael Keaton ones more. What about George Lopez? Batman? That was,

that was panned, but I actually thought that one was actually, Oh shit. Really? It was an odd, uh, well they, it was Bruce Hernandez cause they didn't want to,

you know how studios these days are like doing a lot of like inclusivity which is a great thing so I thought that I didn't think George Lopez was the best choice for that role but hey you know I guess the Hispanic community Alfred! I got this!

He said that before taking down a villain like the villains would be like in their lair and then all of a sudden they just hear I got this! From the fucking shadows. They just see a big head. Like the Batman head is just massive. George Lopez Batman super cut.

And he just steals a fucking kidney from one of them and runs away. Like he stole a kidney from his fucking wife and cheated on her. Then he'd fuck someone else. That's true. I forgot about that. George Lopez is a fucking asshole, dude.

Fuck George Lopez. How the fuck do you take someone's kidney and then cheat on them? Well, he showed you. That's true. He did it. I've done it. Seems like he did it pretty easy. We're trying to get him on the podcast, Justin.

I really want to start beef with George Lopez just for fun. I saw him live. We're friends. He saw me in the crowd and went, Sindigo, man? Did he invite... Sindigo! No, Sindago. Sindago! Yeah, George Lopez is pretty gay, though.

Man, Halloween was fun, though. Little Miss Sunshine randomly showed up to the party. She did. My friend was like apparently friends with her and Abigail Branson? Branson? Abigail She did My friend was like Apparently friends with her And Abigail Bransden Bransden Abigail

Braslen Little Miss Sunshine She said Bransden bro Braslen Bransden Brassers It's not Bransden Yes it is

It's Braylon It's Abigail Braslen Bransden Abigail Braslen Bransden You're fucking with me It's not Bransden No I'm not

It's Abigail Bransden You did the classic McGee shift eyes And then blink hard Which means you're fucking with me it's not branston i'm not it's abigail branston you did the classic mcgee shift eyes and then blink hard which means you're lying you went north you did it again stop you know they say like body language like uh like be like oh you shift your eyes when you're lying i like someone that's just literally like hey hey don't let him touch your cock hey yo justin put the puppet down dude why just just? Justin, that puppet touches... He's reaching for your cock, Justin. Justin, watch out!

Fuck? Sorry, there's a cop. There's a puppet of a cop. Oh, no! Fuck! All cops are bastards, man. Fuck. That puppet cop just performed oral sex on Justin.

That fucking sucks. This is gonna be bad, dude. We can't let this get out. Fuck. People are like, is this just, are they just sitting in chairs looking at each other improv-ing this? No, Justin. There was a real puppet. There was a puppet.

Of a cop. Of a cop. Of a cop. And it did perform oral sex on Justin. Justin, like, very, like, professionally, like, almost like ventriloquist style, made like leap onto his lap with his mouth open and that's when we all screamed and um no disrespect to police officers I mean I

I don't care fuck cops dude fuck them fuck them and their little busies dude give me some cop bussy bro give him an inch he takes a mile with this shit bro for real says the guy that said, fuck you, after I don't even remember what I said.

Fuck you, dude. Dude, what the hell? This is too much. Bitch. You know what? We're gonna take another break. We'll settle it. Here's some more ad reads, everyone. I know you love them. Justin. Eat them up, piggies. It's alright, dude. We'll talk about it. We'll talk about it. Okay.

We're back. and does justin have a story for you it's actually not as cool uh no it's just a story yeah well we were we we left this little fucking shindig at matt's house uh it was awesome five stars that was crazy george lopez showed up did stand up the magician was sent it from 4.5 to 5 for me. I got in a fist fight with George Lopez. There was some shit. But it's whatever. I won. We took Hunter, me, Canyon, back to Ryan's place to

stay with us for his last night in LA. He was really hungry for some Taco Bell. I ordered Taco Bell after you guys left too. Hell yeah, dude. Crazy. Parallels. Wild. Can I ordered Taco Bell after you guys left, too. Hell yeah, dude. Crazy. Parallels. Wild. Can I finish the fucking story now?

Yeah, I was just adding a comment. I'm going to interrupt him again. Asshole. I didn't cut him off. I just jumped in and just don't interrupt him. Okay. Fuck you. I don't think he was interrupting him.

I was just jumping into his story. Okay. Sorry, Justin, go on. Say you can go on, Matt. Go on. I'm sorry, Justin. Go ahead. No, it's okay, dude.

Yeah. So anyways, we took Hunter back and he really wanted to get some Taco Bell. So we hit up a drive-thru and Hunter ordered like three different things. Was it three or four? I think he had two quesadillas and then two five-layer burritos, right? Like he got a lot of food. Can I speak? Oh, yeah. No, Ryan is good to speak.

Okay. Okay. You can speak whenever. You guys are allowed to speak whenever. Oh, okay okay yeah um shut the fuck up he uh had talking to me no no him oh you're talking sorry i'll ask i'll ask dude he ordered like two quesadillas and two five layer or a five layer beef burrito. And then like one of the things I got, which was just the beefy burrito or whatever.

He made it a point to want to add potatoes in one of them. Yeah. To the, the, the beefy fucking five layer burritos or whatever he got off the menu. And, uh, you got like three Baja blast extra larges.

Damn. Two number nines, number nine. Anyways, uh, we, we go back to Ryan's place and, uh,

they start, I didn't order. Cause you know, you know, man, you're on a diet. Yeah. You're looking a little fine though.

Nothing but venison and sheep eyes. Well, the elk is on the weekends, but eyes you know sheep oh yeah a lot of protein in those nutrients what do you get there's amino acids and stuff like that i just like holding them oh it's whatever they they taste all right it's like boba it's like if you left jello in a car for three weeks in the sun grandma used to do that texture sounds wonderful anyways get back to ryan's place they started eating their fucking taco bell hunter passes out at some point and uh you know whatever night ends we all go to bed then me and ryan wake up this morning hunter disappeared there was a note on the ground that said see you chump and then that was it

and uh what the hell there was a note on the ground uh and and like some type of residue around it like there was a fire so i don't know how the fuck he got out of there but the door was locked every all of his shit was gone there was just a ring of fire brian a lot at the party yeah i don't know he might have picked up some chicks but there was just a ring of like what looked like like just flames around this note and just said see you so we're like okay whatever i guess you fucking left uh and then there's a you know the bag from the taco bells on the table from last night because you know it was a well he i think he brought it into his into the oh yeah he ate yeah yeah he went into the guest room and brought the bag he's you know right so he brought it into the carpet he brought it back out yeah he brought it back

out i was i was almost like, mmm, it's Taco Bell. You know, why not? He left a bag on the table before he disappeared and whatever the fuck that was. And we look at the bag and I think like over half of his... No, just... There was like a quesarito

and a... So half of his... Still in there. Half of his order. He didn't put it in the fridge. He left it on the table. He should have at least put it in his backpack

for his flight home. Right? That's what I'm saying. Or just in his pocket have at least put it in his backpack for his flight home, right? That's what I'm saying. Or just in his pocket. For breakfast? Just in his fucking pocket. You know those people that just do that not as a joke. It's like, I'll get a little taco and just stick it.

It's wrapped up in paper. When you get Taco Bell, do you eat it with or without the shell? Usually with, but I have gotten it without before. It's good. Like the silver thing, right? The silver shell? Yeah. And I also make sure, they're bad about bones.

Yeah, there's always especially in their ground beef for some reason. It's mostly in their ground beef I find the bones. I found a big one last time I had Taco Bell. I just got the Fiesta potatoes one time. It was like a little funny bone looking thing. I found a fucking pig tooth in mine one time.

That was crazy. You sure it was pig? I think so. Well, pig and human teeth are very similar. Really? They started adding those to the Fiesta potatoes. Oh, okay. Is it like a prize or is that just part of it?

No, it's just what they do. Some people really like it. I'm not a fan personally, but if you find the golden pig tooth in a random burrito, you can go to the taco yes i was eating a sausage once uh when don't make a joke i uh when i was like 14 why would i make a joke and i i bit into the sausage and there was a piece like a little tiny piece of bone in there and it fucking hurt you have to go to therapy about that no i for the bone in my sausage fucking idiot gonna cry about it i'm sorry man i'm sorry bring back a lot of bad Do you have to go to therapy about that? No, I... Fucking idiot. You're gonna cry about it?

I'm sorry, man. You bring back a lot of bad memories. No, no. You know, it hurt my tooth. Why was there a fucking bone in sausage? Because sausages, they just fucking grind everything up. I know, but like still. Like, I've never like...

That just... That wasn't supposed to be in there. You gotta order that shit boneless next time. Boneless sausage. Is that my hot dog boneless, please? Yeah, can I get my sausage bone-in? Can I get some bone-in sausage? Traditional hot dogs.

Traditional hot dogs. Still on the bone. Some Asian zing hot dogs. That's fine. You should go to... You like hot dogs, right? I fuck with hot dogs or whatever. You should go to Pink's. Ooh. I got a pink for you. Yeah, Justin loves a few pink hot dogs. I fuck with hot dogs or whatever you should go to Pink's yeah Justin loves a few Pink's

Jack Black loves Pink's Nathan Fugue did an episode of Pink's it's so good the hot dogs are incredible it's a staple of LA there's this burger place that Layton keeps yapping about the Jack Black it's like Jack Black's favorite restaurant it's apparently really good

and I really want to go there what's it called? Something apples. Oh, Jack in the Black. Jack in the Black. Late in the afternoon, it's Apple something. The Apple Pen. Which sounds like they'd have desserts, but I guess it's burgers.

Yeah, I don't know why the fuck they threw an apple in there. It's fucking stupid. No apples. It's fucking stupid. Jack Black, if you're listening to this, though, hit me up. Hit all of us up. Come to our studio. He's listening, man. He listens to all the episodes. I hope so. Imagine if he did.

And, like, he just never realized that we even knew who he was until now. They know me? Yeah. Whoa! Whoa! Why you lowering the mic, buddy? Oh, no. Something's about about to happen i don't like this that's fucking nasty dude dude the people that listen to this with like really nice speaker like studio headphones on like that that's like an assault

do you think like there's a like bass to it and yeah dude imagine you're trying to fall asleep to the podcast then you get woken up by that shit Hey well I'm glad you're awake fuck you That's about it One thing Listen I just want to say one last thing Alright then here you take the big hat The only people

We are not allowed to speak unless we have the big hat You don't have the big hat on right now so don't speak Well I was telling you that you don't have shut the fuck up dude did you see hunter at the party last night i did hey multiple times no big hat no but did you see but if the big hat is talking to you then you can know he has to throw the big hat to you you were breaking the rules right now he has to no you have to throw the big hat to him for him to respond okay did you did you see Hunter at the party? He was trying to impress Abigail Breslin because he has a crush on her.

Did you see him put down those boiled eggs? It was like, it had to have been like three cartons of eggs, which is what, like 36 here? He didn't even chew. It was a lot, but like I got him one time. I put just a regular egg in there, but she thought it was cute and she like wiped it away from his lips. It was a lot, but I got him one time. I put just a regular egg in there. But she thought it was cute, and she wiped it away from his lips. It was like... Justin, hold up.

I was going to say, he just sucked that shit down. He didn't even notice it was just a normal egg. And I thought he didn't even shell them. He just... You know at the bank those tubes that you put like the thing with like your money and it goes they still have those they do those still exist

as the wearer of the big hat I would like to proclaim the big hat games over none of us win. Okay, cool. Yeah. That was fun. Yes, I believe they still do have those and Hunter reminded me of one,

the way he was sucking those eggs down to impress Little Miss Sunshine. Yeah, you know, I just like eating eggs. I love eating eggs, dude. His breath smells of just wonderful, beautiful boiled eggs. Yeah, it's whatever. Like, I hit a million views in two hours while I'm eating eggs. That's one of these.

Oh, hold on. Sorry. Right in her face. Sorry. It's kind of quirky. It's childhood ruin, dude. Dude, nightmare fuel. Yeah, dude.

Childhood ruin. He loves when you say nightmare fuel to him. He loves childhood ruin say nightmare fuel to him he loves childhood ruined and nightmare fuels he has his little fake reddit gold card in his wallet he kills around go check out justin's youtube channel go check out justin's music go check out justin's house and we will see you guys don't don't check out your channel well no don't check out my house oh nothing but lag on everything baby Instagram Twitter YouTube nothing but lag nothing not nothing nothing thank you

have yourself a fantastic night I made you a custom bit.ly it's bit.ly slash nothing but lag goes to your channel Chad Matt Watson's Chad so you can you start using that thanks bro is this where we're ending it yes okay bye Thanks, bro. Is this where we're ending it? Yes. Okay, bye.

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