supermegashow - EP 274 - The Little Bill Theory (ft. nothinbutlag)

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

Justin is back in town and a fiery debate is sparked over our childhood. If you go to GetQuip.com/SUPERMEGA RIGHT NOW, you’ll get your first refill FREE. Head to FahertyBrand.com/SUPER and use code SUPER at checkout to get 20% off your first purchase To get 15% off your first order, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to MeUndies.com/SUPERMEGA Get 20% Off and Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with code SUPERMEGA. Enter TODAY for your chance to win the “Custom Jeep Wrangler” or other life-changing prizes and experiences at Omaze.com/super. White Chocolate Peppermint won’t last long. Head to beamorganics.com/SUPER and type in code SUPER at checkout for $20 off any purchase over $75. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack

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Has it started now? I made the fart sound, which means it's started. That's what brought it in? Yeah. Welcome, Justin Balag. Another episode with Justin Balag. This makes around three episodes now you've been on the Super Megacast. Is this your third?

Or maybe the second. This might be. Second, second. I've lost count. I gotta come through and do my little charity episodes every now and then to keep everything running smooth. You've been on it at least like five times, right? I think this is your fourth or fifth time. I've been on here a bunch of times, bro.

That's what I'm saying, like five, six. I love coming on. It's gotta be, I think this might actually be four. Is it really only four? This is like the sixth one, dude. Justin, that's what I thought. I thought it was like five. Let me, hold on. Is it really only four? This is like the sixth one, dude. Justin, that's what I thought. I thought it was like five. Let me, hold on.

Maybe it is six. No, there was one, two, three. Not where you just come in for a little bit, like where you're actually on, right? Either fifth or sixth. It is. Okay, okay. Three.

Love the silence. Well, he's trying to figure, Matt's trying to do math right now, and as we all know, neither Matt or I are really great at mathematics even when we have calculators at our disposal it still stumps us

we are 27 and 25 respectively have you ever heard of Eminem? this is your 7th Justin what? holy shit I had no idea I'm not afraid to come on the podcast

I'm on the podcast Everybody Everybody Come on to the podcast Listen to the podcast We got Justin but lag On the podcast Here he is

On the podcast Everybody Is on the podcast For a seventh time Yeah I wonder if they're sick of me yet Nah No way I know I am is on the podcast for a seventh time. Yeah. I wonder if they're sicking me yet. Nah.

No way. I know I am. Just kidding, man. Just kidding. Just kidding. I'm just kidding, man. Come on. Yeah, episode... Come on, you hooligans.

We got The Big Hat featuring Justin. We got... Yeah, I do love my big hat. That's the recent one. But then we also got... Look at this. We got The Bald Brothers featuring Justin. The Bald Brothers.

The End of the Decade featuring Justin and Jackson. Okay. A Night with Tim Allen featuring Nothing But Lag. That was my first one. Our Little Editor Boy Justin featuring Nothing But Lag. Turkey Style Sandwiches and Chocolate Water featuring Nothing But Lag. I literally thought this was like your third for some reason. If you go back and you listen to the first one, I was so like scared to

say anything because I didn't want to like make anyone, I felt bad being on it. Because our fans are bullies and are belligerent. No, I was just like, no one wants to hear me talk. I don't know what like make anyone I felt bad being on it. Because our fans are bullies and are belligerent. No I was just like no one wants to hear me talk. I don't know what to say. Well. Fuck it. Yeah. I'm talking. I got a lot of shit to say. Turn on the sirens. Make sure mom's not

in the room. Yeah because he's saying it. He's not afraid to say it. Yeah you see that black square in the top left? It says TV 14 for a reason. You had me, like, my heart skipped a beat. You see that black? I was like, Justin, no, no, no, no.

What the fuck am I going to say? I was wondering how far your boundaries were. It doesn't just say TV 14. It says TV 14 with a little D underneath for dialogue. December 9th. What's happening on December 9th? Yo, mama. We go into a Joji show.

Yeah. All three of us. Yeah. I think, hopefully, I bought the right ticket. Well, he's doing the 9th and the 10th. At the Novo, which I've just been to. No, but like in terms of the general admission area that I would be.

Oh, he just put me and Justin on the list. Yeah. Ah, we're going backstage. So you might just be in the audience. Yeah, yeah. You said to follow him, and I did, and he didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed him. And then he followed me, and then I followed him, and then he unfollowed

me. And so then I unfollowed him. And then he sent me a DM that said, fuck you. And I thought that was just joking. So I'm sure everything's fine. He's still got a little pink guy in him. As they say. As they say.'s just filthy French He's still got a little pink guy As they say As they say You know

Pink guy Meaning penis Pink guy Papa Frank Who's still alive Yeah Dude actually But we're going to see Joji on the 9th The Novo is a really cool venue

And actually I was just at the Novo Backstage When I went to go see Young Bae So I was in the green room That Joji's gonna be in Fucking

Who? Young Bae Never heard of him. What, really? Nope. Actually, his management... He's a bit young. He's a bae. He makes Future Funk.

No, I know who he is. I'm just fucking with you. But his management emailed us asking if we could get him on the podcast. And I'm like, I just talked to him in person about this. Like, he wants to come on the podcast. I don't know why his management's like, we think Super Megacast. Maybe it helps him streamline things to make sure they happen and don't get set by the wayside, maybe?

Yeah, but it looked like they had never talked to him about it and they were reaching out. That would be funny. Yeah, so we'll get a little Dallas on here. He's got crazy neck tattoos and a Tesla and he makes Future Funk. A Tesla? He does. One time I saw him at the mall. A truck? A Tesla truck? No. One time I saw him at the mall. A truck? A Tesla truck?

No. I think it's like a really nice white sport. Model S? I just saw him getting out of his car when I was at the mall. I was like, oh, what's up, dude? He was charging his Tesla. Did you throw an egg at him? I did. I waited until he left. I put it on his Tesla. Did you hit him or did it miss this time? I didn't hit him. I hit the car. The Tesla.

No. I thought you were... Okay. I thought you were aiming at him. I didn't know you were aiming at the car no I wouldn't do that to him dude you know he had a nice shirt now I understand yep got it then after that that young bae show is when I had my incident hit my head which is still swollen

actually there's still a knot right here because you fucking smacked into the concrete at a very high speed whoah and really I get why they say seeing stars it was flash of because you fucking smacked into the concrete at a very high speed. How long did it... Swoop! Whoa! And really, I get why they say seeing stars. It was a flash of... How long did knots last? Because it's still there. It's like...

What is it? It's... Is it swollen because my body's trying to protect the area? Or like... It feels like I'm... I don't know... It just thought it'd be funny. I don't know the specifics,

but I'm sure, yeah, Justin's right. It's because God thought it would be funny. It feels know the specifics But I'm sure, yeah, Justin's right It's because God thought it would be funny It feels like I have a skittle in my forehead Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? Yeah, it's pretty funny It makes me look a little wonky, a little goofy Yeah, you have a dent in your head It's not a dent

It's the Iron Giant It's not a dent It's the Iron Giant Then when you get mad, it pops out Man, he popped off when he did that, man Vin Diesel or the Iron Giant? The Iron Giant. You like the Iron Giant?

The Iron Giant's fucking sick. I like the Iron Giant, too. It's pretty cool. Dude, when that fucking dent goes... He goes sicko mode, dude. He fucking goes crazy. He goes, launch the missile now. He goes sicko mode.

For some reason, I always thought he said... This is art! No. This is Spartan! And then he kicks it. Oh, I just watched Meet the Spartans the other night with Don. For the first time ever? Yeah, for the first time, dude. I saw that when it was in theaters, dude.

I told Don Alex, I was like, I'm pretty sure Ryan has seen this in theaters. I think I saw it twice in theaters, actually. Why? Here's what I'll say, dude. Dude, I was, how old must I have been? I love these spoof movies. 2008 or 2009. Epic movie? Oh, so I was in like a middle school. 15. Yeah, so also movies. 2008 or 2009. Epic movie? Oh, so I was in like middle school. Yeah, so also like I'm 15.

All the references are stuff like Britney shaving her head and like just like getting kicked down in a big old hole. And then the dude from Borat's in it. Yeah.

Azamat Bagatov. Yes. He is Wait, what? Azamat Bagatov. Azamat Bagatov. Azamat Bagatov. That's the guy from Borat.

That's like his name in Borat. Okay. He's an Armenian actor I think he lives in Glendale actually bet we could get him in something probably but my favorite thing about that movie

is I don't know dude it really took it was weird seeing all of these references and jokes that I remember from when I was in middle school

that was pop culture at the time like Britney going crazy and shaving her head stuff that I wasn't invested in because I was young but i still like saw around and saw things make fun of it it was like that was the joke and i was like oh my god it's so dated and i'm not to the caribbeans in it i got a jar dirt there there were some parts in the movie i'm not gonna lie that actually made me like legitimately laugh it got at least three or four legitimate

laughs for me and i'm kind of embarrassed to say that, but there were a couple moments in that movie I was like, wow dude. The guy from Nacho Libre plays the centaur dude. Not the centaur, what is it called? Half goat, half man? Steven? Yeah. Really? He's in it?

Yeah. Fuck yeah. He plays the goat. I fucking love Nacho Libre. Isn't he also in Norbit? Are you talking about the guy that eats the corn? He's in Wild Hogs? Yeah. And he's like,

bro, don't go into that bathroom because there's poop in it. Oh. Yeah. But then he has to go into the bathroom to clean the poop.

I think while Justin's here right now, we should maybe do I forgot we were recording the podcast for a split second. We were just talking. Yeah, we were just

talking. Yeah. It's awesome. What if while Justin's here, we do a little series where we watch all those movies and review each one, talk, have a discussion. He still has to finish Austin Powers 2 and 3.

Well, he can put those on hold and we can watch Meet the Spartans, Vampires Suck, The Hunger Games one, Disaster Movie. I saw Vampires Suck in theaters. I was probably a little too old to be going to see that in theaters. That one looks pretty bad that one's awful I mean they're all bad

it's these two guys that write them I think Vampire Suck was the last one I saw so I would love to the guys that write came out in theaters I didn't see Disaster Movie which had Kim Kardashian

you haven't even seen The Croods hey man don't talk about The Croods how have you not seen The fucking Croods are they why The Croods is fucking have you not seen the fucking Croods? Are they... Why? The Croods is fucking based.

Carmen Electra. Is it good? I forgot Carmen Electra's in scary movies. No, Carmen Electra's in fucking Meet the Spartans. Oh yeah. 2% on Rotten Tomatoes. You don't see her boobs though. No.

Oh, I don't want to watch it then. I know. Hey, okay. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. Those are the two guys that write all these movies And they are like They're the dream team when it comes to comedy They're the dream team when it comes to

If you're writing a comedy movie that's who you want And I would love They're not doing anything right now Ryan We should hit them up and write a movie with them The super mega boys And then those guys together to make a movie And we could fund it with Patreon and stuff. How great would that movie be, dude?

Odds are you have to watch Scary Movie 5. I don't know if I've seen the fifth one. Good. Fourth one's great. Great. They're two of the writers from Scary Movie. Yes. Two of the ones that put in all the jokes that would line up with our audience.

Poops and farts and stuff like that. Maybe some... Matt, odds are I get to pick what shirt you wear to the Joji concert. Come on, man. You can wear a little jacket, but it has to be open a little. You have to be able to see the shirt. 50. 50?

Are you ready? Mm-hmm. Matt, you have one after this, too, because you still didn't do the one that I asked you. Okay, here we go. that I asked out of 50 3,2,1,3,5 you're free I respect you for playing it what are we doing Ryan?

the odds are that you have to watch Scary Movie 5 oh ok dude that one's crazy 25 yeah but you have to do it within the week ok 25 dude that one's crazy oh 25 yeah yeah but you have to do it

within the week okay 25 okay 3, 2, 1 16 damn no scary movie 5 for Matthew

fuck you didn't even want to watch it a little bit not really what you've seen all 4 of them and you're gonna ditch 5 I don't remember that

if he had to watch it I would have offered to watch it with him I would have probably watched it with you I want to watch all of like but there's it, I would have offered to watch it with him. I would have probably watched it with you. I want to watch all of like... But there's no way I'm going to actually watch it when it's my choice. I want to watch it with like all these movies with you guys and then we can

vlog us watching these movies and enjoying them. Are we not gonna finish Austin Powers then? Fuck Austin Powers. Is Austin Powers to the wayside while we watch these spoof movies? Yes. These spoof movies are fucking awful, Justin. Come on, dude. I would rather watch a scary movie Fucking scary movie. Fucking scary movie with Charlie Sheen.

When the aliens piss out of their fingers. Not another teen movie. Dude, if Jason Friedberg or Aaron Seltzer hear this. The one where it's like the whole like, I'm fat. Yeah, and her tits are on her back. I remember the commercial, dude. Fucking awesome. You do remember. Yeah, of course I do.

You do remember. What the fuck are you talking about? Matthew. Dad? I can't believe you remember after all these years. Fucking Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, dude. Fuck them. Dude, what?

They're going to listen to this. You know they're going to listen to this. Yes, they are. And if they do, I encourage them to email us at contact at supermegashow.net just to let us know if they listened. Because I would like to do something with them. They're funny. We would love to do something with you guys.

But not in a shit, you gotta see this type of way. More like in a, this is a fun experiment to watch. Well, that's right. They're like the early 2000s, there's just they can bring it whenever like we got to bring modern time they don't make movies like that anymore man they don't make when's the last time you saw something like the pacifier released in theaters that movie fucking rocks right then diesel diesel you gotta do the fuck what's the fucking dance the peter panda dance yeah the peter panda fuck yeah that's how you unlock the fuck yeah man i love the

pacifier bro what about when the rock is uh is the tooth fairy that how you unlock the thing at the end? Fuck yeah, man. I love the pacifier, bro. What about when The Rock is the Tooth Fairy? Yeah. Have you seen The Game Plan with Dwayne Johnson where he's the football star? And there's the little girl? Yeah, and his daughter. She was the little girl from Cory in the House. It was a Disney movie.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I remember that. He was in a lot of Disney stuff at one point. He was actually in Cory in the House. And yet you still haven't seen The Croods. That Cory in the House episode's great. The Rock isn't in The Croods. It doesn't matter.

The Croods is a fucking classic. Why does that? We were talking about The Rock. I'll see any movie with The Rock in it. Is The Rock in The Croods? No. But Cavemen, Rocks, The Rock. Okay.

Have you seen the trailer of the movie where the moon is a bunch of little robots? No, what? And it's going to crash into the earth. Sounds like a fucking middle schooler's movie plot. It's called Moon. It's directed by the 2012 dude, I think. That looks fucking stupid. Really?

Yeah, the disaster movie guy. The guy that made Day After Tomorrow, 2012. I think so. He made all those, dude. Something Emmerich, maybe. Oh, wait, did he make Greenland, too? I actually, the Gerard Butler disaster movie that came out last year. Is this called Moon?

About the comet? It's actually pretty fun. No, not Sam Rock. Moon. Moon Fall. Moon Fall. In Moon Fall, a mysterious force knocks the moon from its orbit around Earth, and it sends it hurtling on a collision course with life as we know it.

Oh, shit, dude. What does robots have to do? Why do you say there's robots everywhere? Because in the trailer, it looks like the moon's made up of a bunch of different things. Is it directed by Roland Emmerich? Yes, that's who I was talking about. Did he do that movie? He did 2012, right?

Mm-hmm. He does all those. He did Independence Day. Yeah. He did 1998 Godzilla. He did The Patriot, The Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Independence Day Resurgence. And he's a collector of art and an LGBT activist and is openly gay. Let's take some ad breaks.

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs, projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish, or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care

of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com. Best Western made booking our family beach vacation a breeze, and it felt a little like... life's a trip make the most of it at best western uh someone fart in this room i didn't i. I didn't. I don't smell anything. Sorry. Did you fart? I smelled like a fart at first. I probably could if you wanted me to. No, no, no.

It's okay. You want me to? Dude, I would love to get Root Poodie on the podcast. He seems like a guy. You'd be able to have a very good conversation with him. You could tell by his presence in the videos. He was like, oh, that's sticky. I don't know.

Dude, he's like fucking Ace Ventura. How long has it been since you've... It's been a while since you've gone on about Root Pootie, I think. Don't get him started. I heard you watching him earlier today. I walk into the fucking editing room and there's just like silence for a second and a very loud fart. And I look at Matt's

computer and it's just some dude like making a sandwich and like fucking fart. And Jackson's over there and Jackson's like, oh, have you seen the one where you see the poop coming out of his butthole that's like yeah yeah I've seen that one but this isn't that one like it's like they're

I know they're fucking talking about it like a sports team like their favorite fucking show I mean if you sat down and watched all

like 11 minutes of farting long and loud in these jeans then you would know exactly the pleasure that I gained from yeah for people that don't know

here he goes found this YouTube channel like two years ago called Rude Pudi you would know exactly the pleasure that I gained from, yeah, for people that don't know, here he goes. Found this YouTube channel like two years ago called Rude Pudi and it's just a guy that filmed himself farting and he just makes all these videos where he's like, it's like farting in these jeans and he's like, oh, that's stinky. And like the guy, he's fucking awesome, dude. I'm still sad. But they get a lot of views. I'm still sad Warborg got taken down.

Dude, Warborg was legendary. I don't fucking know. Is that the one with the Santa? We were going to put it for Christmas? No, Warborg's the one in the fishing tier list video. We found his channel, and he's like, and I'm not talking about women. I'm talking about bitches.

Like the feminist rant one? He was like breaking into a fucking bathroom or something. To steal toilet paper? Yeah. How to steal toilet paper in Lubbock, Texas? Who was the one that was like dressed up as Santa and talking about like That was Warborg.

Okay, so that was Warborg. It was like PC Santa? Yeah. Or like it was anti-PC Santa. And remember he would like upload videos of him in like his car

with his aunt or something and like he'd be like getting into fights and shit. Oh, his dad and his dad's girlfriend fighting. Yeah, yeah. And the fights were brutal, dude. He's like, you stupid whore!

And she's like, fuck you! And it was them they were like they were fighting over like drugs. Sometimes they'd be like crying and shit too. They were fighting over like meth and shit. And the fights were brutal, dude. He's like, you stupid whore! And she's like, fuck you! And it was them, they were like, they were fighting over like drugs. Sometimes they'd be like crying and shit too. They were fighting over like meth and shit. And I'm like, Jesus, dude. It's probably good, but the channel's down. But it's like, still rest in peace. What do you think he's up to at this moment?

Last time I checked, he was living in a camper. How do you check? Well, like before he dipped and took his channel down. He was living in a camper. And he was doing tutorials. He didn't have a Twitter or anything linked to his account? I did a really deep search trying to find him online after this. And I couldn't find him.

I found his name. He wiped clean. He got himself wiped clean? I got his name, his full name and everything. And I... How'd you get his full name? I got my ways, dude. And I did a deep dig and I cannot find him anywhere.

He's off the internet now. and I did a deep dig and I cannot find him anywhere. He's off the internet now. Warborg YouTube channel was the only really the only remaining piece of him on the internet and now he's just wandering Texas, I guess. We gotta remember to save these things. I know, dude.

I've been thinking about making like a If you upload something to the internet, it'll be there forever. Not always the case. Warborg's gone. Rant about feminists is gone. And he's not talking... Maybe... He's not talking about women. He's talking about bitches.

You know, it's beautiful because it's almost like it was just a moment in time. It was fleeting. It was fleeting. Now it's just a moment you enjoyed in that moment. There's beauty in that.

It was there, now it's gone. There is beauty in that, honestly. It's like life. It's like life. Like, get the fuck out my court. You're born, you're here for a bit And then you're gone Music video?

Not the music video But Blake X Freeman No the song's out But the music video Doesn't exist Dude you know He interacts with Super Mega fans and stuff

God I would love to see A nothing but lag Well actually now that you burped You know while I was talking I was gonna give you some praise No respect No disrespect It felt very disrespectful It did Kind of disrespectful Did you hear I was was, I was going to give you some praise. No respect. No disrespect. No, it felt, it felt very disrespectful.

It did. Kind of disrespectful, Justin. Did you hear I was about to mention him and like give him some praise? in a good way, right? Yeah.

I could see it in your face. What were you going to say? It's, it's not important. No, no, really. I don't think it's important.

No, come on, please. Obviously it wasn't important. I insist. I insist. Justin, cover your ears.

Okay, what if I, what if I were to suck, it was a, what? What if I were to suck the burp back in? Like reverse and take it back. That's not, it is. Justin, that's not possible. What if I were to suck the burp back in? Like reverse.

And take it back. Justin, that's not possible. Justin, scientists have been They've had fucking meetings They've tried this. They've tried this in rooms filled with Holy shit, he did it. What the fuck? Justin!

How the fuck did you do that? Okay, okay, okay. I was just saying that my dream collab would be you and XBlakeFreemanX on a song. Nothing But Lag and XBlakeFreemanX. Justin, you gotta hit him up, dude. Nothing But Lag and XBlakeFreemanX.

It was a very big compliment. He was very happy that we shouted out the song on the podcast. Get the fuck out my Corvette. Got a million different reasons that I could be upset. So get the fuck out my Corvette. Never forget that music video, man. God, it's so fucking good.

Where is that music video? But wait, so the song's out there, and I can have it, right? We've been emailed the song by a bunch of fans. A bunch of fans have the song. Good, good, good, good. So the song, we have the song. I had it. Remember, I bought it off of fucking Google Music.

And Google Music deleted everything. Why? Because there's, I used money to buy it. I deserve it. God damn, I mean, it told me to re-download it

because it was an mp3. It was like, download the file or else it's gonna be gone. The same thing happened with me. Google fucks me over every time. This happened with Google Videos. They would never do that.

No, and Google Videos, before they bought YouTube or a little afterwards, they just combined them. So all the Google videos videos were just fucking deleted. Yep. I remember that. I was a part of that. I uploaded to Google videos before YouTube. That's where I uploaded

my first videos, and they're gone now. Well, no, they ended up on YouTube, right? What's Google doing? Why they keep deleting the past? Cringe. It's like, you know, back in World War II when the Germans would burn books? Yep. It's just like that. Just like that, buddy.

Not A. Huh? What? Off mic really quick. I wouldn't make that. No, I think that's actually a very good comparison. No, no. Yeah, I think we can keep that. Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. The Third Reich? Yeah. Think about it. They even rhyme. Fucking stop. Dude, have you seen the... Stop, dude.

Stop. We can just cut it out. I was just going to say that Google headquarters is literally shaped like a swath. No. Okay. Let's move on. Okay. Let's move on.

I'm sorry, man. You guys ever had apple juice? Yeah, it's great.. Okay. Let's move on. Sorry, man. You guys, uh... Ever had apple juice? Yeah, it's great. I fucking love apple juice, dude. I buy the whole fucking, like, jug. We have to get apple juice for you tonight. Oh, yeah.

Apparently, it makes, uh... If you drink it before bed, apparently, apple juice gives you really weird dreams. Yeah, you know what's crazy? I had a fucking dream. I had a dream just before I came on here. So did Martin, bro. Who?

Martin. You had a dream just before I came out here. So did Martin, bro. Who? Martin. You had a dream? Sorry. Martin who? Which Martin had a dream, dude. What is he, the Dr. Zeus book? I actually didn't. Zeus?

Why did I do that? I keep fucking doing that. I didn't even realize what you were saying, so when I said who, I was actually being sincere. Now that just sounds really fucked up. Justin doesn't know who Martin Luther King is. Martin Luther King who? I love Martin Luther King Jr. Why? He was a who down in Who'sville.

Fucking awesome dude. Why is he awesome Justin? What do you do? Cheat on his wife. Yeah. He did that. Stick his middle finger up at the camera. Yeah he did that too. Get killed by the CIA. Yeah, that three. I was going to say, I had a dream that I was in a really scary plane crash.

With Martin Luther King? There was no Martin Luther King in the dream. Oh, okay. No. But he had one. He did have a fucking dream, dude. What was that dream? It was a beautiful dream.

What was the dream? It was legitimately no sarcasm a beautiful dream. It was a... What was the dream? It was legitimately no sarcasm, beautiful dream. It was. I was in a plane and then I remember the fucking sirens going off

and then I was like, oh shit, I'm actually about to fucking die. This is what Martin Luther King's dream was about? I don't remember that. He got on my stage and said,

I have a dream that I was in an airplane and it was going down and I knew I was about to fucking die. And everyone in the crowd's like, what? I guess we should clap. I'd be having some fucked up dreams, dude.

Dude, me too. I got really vivid dreams. I stopped taking melatonin because I used to take melatonin to go to sleep. Body produces it naturally. I know, but I got on my fucking sleep issues. So I was like, oh, maybe this will work. And my sleep doctor, I was like oh maybe this will work And my sleep doctor I was taking 3mg of melatonin

My sleep doctor was like no you need like Not even one The ones they give you like in the store way too powerful Was it doctor sleep? Yes it was doctor sleep But holy shit dude My dreams when I think melatonin get so vivid And colorful

And weird and fucked up Like I can't even explain some of them and and it's always kind of disturbing i can't explain because they just make your lack of vocabulary yeah like words can't describe some of these dreams um and then i wake up like every like 20 minutes because they're so vivid and then i just don't feel like i rested so the only thing that made me sleep sound through the night recently was, um, I got prescribed this, this pill called trazodone for sleep, which is like an antidepressant, but it makes you really sleepy. Okay. So I tried it. Um, and I slept solid through the night,

like a baby. Yeah. Like best sleep in years. But the whole next day I felt like incredibly hung over. I couldn't get out of bed. It was of bed it was awful so recently I've just been like for me I've been having the past three days I guess I haven't been having the best sleep I've been like sweating so much at night I'm waking up several times through the night like I'm just like I'm awake and then I go back to bed then I wake up and I'm like it feels like I just went to bed for 10 more minutes wait I went back to sleep so that's that's very uncommon for you to wake up in the middle of the night? Mm-hmm. Man, I wake up minimum five times a night.

Like, wake up where it's like... It's exhausting. Where I wake up and I'm fully conscious and I'm aware, like, I'm thinking, like, oh, I'm awake. Okay.

And, like, I roll over and then it takes me a couple minutes to fall back asleep at least five times a night. The other night was the worst of my entire life. Justin has to sleep

under the bed to get a full night's sleep. I actually, when I was a kid... I went in and I saw his feet from under the bed and I was like, okay. I saw the movie I Am Legend. I was like, really young. Is that the scariest movie in your head?

I Am Legend freaks me out more than any other movie. What about Eight-Legged Freaks? Have you seen that? Don't even remind me. I blocked that out of my fucking mind. What movie? Eight-Legged Freaks. A bunch of fucking spiders. Oh, I haven't seen that.

I can never... I remember there's one scene in that movie where, like, a lady's dog gets taken away. Oh, I hate that. Dude, as a kid, that scared the shit out of me. Anyways, we will circle back to that because maybe I should watch that, actually. Maybe that would help me.

Yeah, exposure therapy. Watch Arachnophobia, the old one. I just realized no one actually knows about my arachnophobia publicly. Now I just realized no one actually knows about my arachnophobia publicly now they can use it to harm you I hope they don't or we cut it out they don't have to cut it out

I got cockroaches and vomit people don't send me vomit and cockroaches but will they be more inclined to I know how these motherfuckers work it's fine these motherfuckers are adoring fans although some of them probably have spiders for pets and are very insulting some of them probably actually have here's the thing if

i called you a motherfucker and you're mad you're the kind of person i'm talking about but if you're not mad yeah i'm not talking about you like a you know what i mean there's a lot of chill people to watch like a big gummed loser. That wears glasses and has to wear braces. Man, if you got big gums, fuck. What was I saying? Yeah, what I saw. And you're probably bald and fat.

Yeah. And you stink. Yeah. Yeah. And you have a tiny, tiny penis. Hey, man, don't penis shame, okay? And what happened last time we did that? And your ass is the size of a grape. And your feet?

Yeah, they're ugly as fuck. They have warts on them. Hey dude, come on, chill. Take it down a notch. Justin, what were you saying? That was too much, Ryan. That was too much. What were you saying, Justin? And you have mutton chops. That's it, that's it, that's enough.

And you paint your fingernails bright red. That is enough. Stop there. Don't go any farther. Let Justin speak, man. You're taking... You're... You're really stepping on some toes.

And where Ladybug lives. No, no, no. You're stepping on some toes, man. Matt, you're gonna have to fucking hold me back if he does it again. I swear to fucking God. Hold me back, bro. For real. I love a guy that's like, hold me back, bro.

But no one holds him back. But he's not gonna actually go fight. But he's like, come on, hold me back. Come on. Guys, hold me back, bro For real I love like a guy that's like Hold me back, bro But no one holds him back But he's not gonna actually go fight But he's like Come on, hold me back Come on Guys, hold me back I forgot what I was gonna say You're talking about a movie

A scary movie When I saw I Am Legend for the first time I had to sleep under my mom's bed For like a week Because I was too afraid Yeah, I slept under my mom's bed But there are monsters under the bed Why did you sleep under the bed

And not in the bed? Because I was like Well, if they show up, they'll eat my mom first. Damn, that's smart. Is that what you were thinking? No. Did you ever have those thoughts of like, I'm going to get my leg out from, like, I'm going to put it under the covers because I don't want anything to

grab me? Do you? Okay. It's like I never thought I'd be like taken. I just thought like I'd feel something grab my leg. If I had those intrusive thoughts, I just wouldn't be able to fall asleep. I don't have that. I just thought I'd feel something grab my leg. If I had those intrusive thoughts, I just wouldn't be able to fall asleep. I have that, where if my leg is out of the blanket and off the edge of the bed,

it's kind of scary, because obviously nothing's going to grab it, but there's that thing in your mind that something's going to get it. I wonder if that's an evolutionary fear. It has to be, if so many people have it. Like you have your leg outside of wherever your little hut, little like hut and all sudden like a big cat Season yeah, I'm wondering you out. That's actually pretty interesting

I wonder if that is like an evolutionary thing like when your foots off the bed You're like oh or like when you sleep you want to keep your body you want to keep yourself like hidden from anything That's hunting and prowling. Yeah, you want to be like very covered. Yeah in leaves. It's funny We sticks we still have probably just fur pelts and shit. You think people fuck dude what people do fuck? The person that discovered blankets must have been such a fucking Chad in their community. Oh my god, dude He got so much pussy for that Edward blanket the same guy Probably did beanies, you know, yeah. A blanket for your head. Steven Beanie.

Steven Beanie. His father, Steven Beanie. Steven Beanie's my father. No, no, his father was James Hatt. Hey, I'm James Hatt. This is my son, Steven Hatt. Steve Beanie. It's Steve Beanie, dad.

Please, Mr. Beanie is my father. Fucking dude. At some point, someone invented shoes. And they were like, guys, we don't have to step on shit anymore. So it was like, y'all sick of walking on these rocks? Check this shit out. These are big moments in history.

When people started wearing flip-flops, it wasn't shoes at first. I think about this all the time. It was flip-flops, like, leaves and shit. There was one person that legit discovered the fucking wheel. And we'll never know who it was. We'll never know when it happened.

But that was, like, such an important- Like, that person, one of the most important people in the history of humanity. It wasn't even a person. It was probably a now-extinct homo- Sapieno sapien thing. What's funny, Justin?

Oh, homo sapien? That's funny to you? I thought you were going to say some fucking crazy shit after you did that. Some homosexual back in like 600,000? I think I'm laughing because I was expecting you to just do some fucking thing with that, and then it was just totally normal. Yeah, it's just like, oh. There were so many

species of Homo sapiens and I bet a bunch of them discovered the wheel separately but there had to be that one that was first. And there was that one that discovered fire. What about fire? Cooking meat? That was SpongeBob and Patrick. Oh yeah, you're right.

You had to watch the special. SpongeGar and Patar. I noticed that whenever I grill up meat meat, like I was like when I did salmon the other day, I was just like, damn, this really, this has been going on for a long time. People just be doing this shit. People just be grilling meat. People did this shit for a while.

People be grilling meat, man. Fuck yeah, man. I watched that. I'm like, this is awesome. People just one day like discovered I'm going to turn this into something completely different but not have that much effort involved. What would happen if I lit this shit on fire real quick? Oh shit, that's good.

When's the last time you grilled some meat, Matt? Last time I grilled some meat? Yeah. Grilled some meat. It's been a while, man. I haven't grilled meat in quite a bit. Was bacon the last thing you grilled up for yourself? I have grilled up some bacon, but honestly, I don't remember the last time I grilled any meat for myself.

Grilled any meat? I haven't grilled many meats in my life, honestly. I can make smoked any meats? I got a grill, though, at my place. I can make some badass fucking barbecue ribs. Yo, we should make some ribs at my place. Justin can. I've never tasted them, but he sent me pictures of his penis and his ribs.

Yeah. The ribs look amazing. The penis is in the foreground. the ribs are in the back. It's like a size comparison. Tell them about the penis. No, it was funny. But, yeah. It was supposed to be penis.

He's just joking around, man. No, I know. That's why I said it was funny. I'll make you some ribs before I leave. Dude, I would love some ribs. I'll get us two big ol' fuckin' things of ribs. I can't have any, unfortunately. I've seen the classic video, Justin makes some ribs. I have rib phobia, I'm scared. You fuckin' rib-phobic freak.

I'm scared of ribs. There's like, well, yeah, I guess the meat, right? Yeah. It's just the meat. What does it mean, the sauce? The sauce is like, it's pretty good. Dude, eat the ribs without the sauce. Oh, that'd be so nasty.

Yeah, that would not be good. That'd be fucking gross. You know what else is fucking gross? Ad reads. You love Taco Bell after a night out, but the new cantina chicken menu from Taco Bell hits different during the day. With slow-roasted chicken and fresh veggies, it's something late-night you and daytime you can agree on.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Thank you. Well, we're back in the sack with our good friend Jack. Justin. Sorry, Justin, I do that all the time. On our good friend Jack. Justin. Sorry, Justin, I do that all the time. On our backs. Yes, Justin on our backs.

We're all recording on our backs. I want to talk about something. You want to talk about how Spider-Man's coming out soon? And we're going to see, more than likely, Tobey Maguire on the big screen again as Spider-Man? You guys go ahead and get that out of your system. No, no, no.

It's okay. What were you about to say? It's okay. We were just excited about it. It's probably just as exciting. Oh, yeah. Your fucking book. You're going to shill the fucking book.

I can't show the book. It's a podcast. I said shill. You're going to shill the fucking book. Yeah, I'm going to shill the book. I'm sitting here on the couch. I'm going to, you know, I'm trying to hang out with you guys.

The back cover is in the air, unfortunately. God damn it, dude. Fucking. On the original one. Okay. It was fine. Okay. On the back cover, there's an error, unfortunately. God damn it, dude. On the original one, it was fine. Okay, on the back cover of the book, before we talk about the actual book, there was a mistake.

Instead of the word patriotism, it says patotism. Patotism. And the second I saw it, my stomach dropped. And I'm like, what the fuck? And I grabbed the sample copy that we got, and it says patriotism. And I was like, what happened?? And I grabbed the sample copy that we got. And it says patriotism. And I was like, what happened?

Why did it change from patriotism? So at least in the first wave of the book release, guys, it's going to say patriotism. And that's going to make it a rare edition of the book. Yeah, so you actually, well, probably not. Because I guess more people will buy it at launch than later on. Maybe not. But they might buy the second edition when we have New York Times best-selling authors across the cover. That is true. We are going to be New York Times best-sellers. I don't want to hear... I see a lot of naysayers

out there saying that we have to meet certain criteria to be on the New York Times best-sellers, but I think just simply being ourselves and being our genuine Ryan and Matt's, that's enough to win over the hearts of the people in charge of the New York Times best-sellers. Our friendship, our honesty, that's enough to win over the hearts of the people in charge of the New York Times bestsellers. Our friendship,

our honesty, our genuinity. Yes. Especially the genuinity. And the epic adventure we go on in this book is more than enough to get us on the New York Times bestselling list. Of course. It's a book that's being sold at several

non-physical establishments. Well, I saw people saying that they work at bookstores and they're going to order some to sell. Good. Wait, really? Yeah, I saw some people saying that. Like, indie bookstores. Like, I'm going to order some to sell at my store. I'm like, okay.

Is there any way we can, like, get in contact with them? And it's like, hey, we'll give you a bulk, kind of bulkish buy of, like... No deals. No. Okay. Nope. Yeah, but this book, Super Mega Saves the Troops, is out now. Is it?

It is. Is it? Yep. You can go to sumegamart.net, order a paperback, a hardcover, very good quality. Listen to this.

Sounds like good quality to me. Sounds like a book. I mean, it's good. I'm not lying. It's amazing quality. It's 260-something pages. We had, because we got a sample copy,

and the pages in that were nice, but the pages in this are a lot better because the other ones felt like kind of like an art book type of style of page. Yeah. In this style of page, like it, it feels more like the average page

you would find in another book while also maintaining that you can have the pictures and them not bleed through too much or really at all into the next page. Like if you're reading it. Right. Like with the light shining through and all that. We also, I'm not sure that you can get the pictures and them not bleed through too much or really get all into the next page like if you're reading it. Right. Like with the light shining through and all that.

We also, I'm not sure, you can get the e-book for $4.99 on Amazon for milk or Kindle or whatever you want or your phone or tablet. And there's an audio book narrated by none other than Gino Samuel, the man who narrates the Chris Chan documentary. I want to flip through some pages.

I'm going to read a little excerpt for everyone. Just think of a little idea. He's not even going to get it. Then I'm going to leave. I'm going to read a little excerpt for everyone. Just think of a little idea. He's not even going to... Then I'm going to leave. And I'm going to go find myself a copy. Okay. So I can flip through some pages. I'll read you a...

This jackass. Ryan's walking out. Yep. Here, Justin, let me read you a little sample. Okay. What we have here are some uninvited guests. Osama snickered, turning to his soldiers. Go get them, boys!

The Al-Qaeda lackeys began popping off rounds, missing every shot as usual like a bunch of Sharia law stormtroopers. Just beyond the perimeter of the... What? Are you done? Yeah, sorry, go ahead. Okay. Of the dark shipyard was a small side street. The two dusted themselves off and casually galloped away. Read that first sentence again. I lost it.

I'm going to flip to a random page. Matt pulled back a torn section of chain-linked fence and Ryan snaked under the torn piece of chain-linked fence that Matt was holding up for Ryan. We worked really hard on this book, guys. I'm not going to lie. I'm going to skip to a random page and just read a quick little excerpt, okay?

Is it the one that says his Al-Qaeda little excerpt. Okay? Is it the one that says, His Al-Qaeda desperado shrugged? Is that the one? Are you leaving now? Yeah. Well, everyone, Jackson is leaving. He's going to Puerto Rico. He's moving to Puerto Rico.

So send him wishes on Twitter. Say good luck in Puerto Rico, Jackson. We hope you have a good and fruitful career in Puerto Rico. And we're going to miss you. We're going to miss you a lot, man. I bought a boat. I'm going to be chartering tours out there. Nice, man.

But really good luck out there. I know it's scary moving so far away. And I know that the whole situation with hurricanes down there is kind of intense. So good luck with that. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Well, we're proud of you, man. We're know that, you know, the whole situation with hurricanes down there is kind of intense, so good luck with that. And, okay, yeah. Yeah. Well, we're proud of you, man. We're going to miss you a lot.

We're going to miss you, but you got to come visit. Oh, we'll come visit you. You're going to be in Puerto Rico. It's going to be beautiful. Vila de Encanto. Exactly. I don't know what that,

I don't speak Puerto Rican. It's okay. It's a little above your... Justin's Puerto Rican. Never mind. Justin's Puerto... Yeah. Puerto, Puerto Rican. Never mind. Justin is Puerto... Puerto... Puerto Rican.

Yeah. Yeah. You like rice? I love rice. Yep. He's Puerto... He's Puerto Rican. Rice is good.

Yeah. Arroz. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Hey. This guy gets it. This guy gets it.

What's that mean? Rice. Oh. Arroz? Yeah. Arroz. Arroz. That's what my grandma told me. What? Yeah. What was that mean? Rice. Oh. Arroz? Arroz.

That's what my grandma told me. What? What was it called? Gondules. Gondules. Arroz con salchichas, which is rice and sausages. I'm going to be roasting a pig drinking pina coladas, though. In all honesty, I don't mean to be rude, but you did.

Matt was about to read an excerpt. We're trying to promote the book right now, Jackson. And I know you're leaving. I know you're leaving. But you have a... Have a safe move. Have a good trip. Give me a hug. Hey, man. Have a good life in Puerto Rico, dude.

It's canonical that Jackson moves to... Huh? If you ever find your way over... Yeah, you know, if we ever happen to be in Puerto Rico Puerto Rico sorry Puerto Rico yeah Yes sure I've been to Puerto Rico before it's beautiful

What Goodbye Love ya Hey I wanna read a little something real quick God bless dude I wanna read a little something real quick God bless dude I want to read a little something real quick Go ahead From what?

I don't know No we'll get to it Don't worry Matt In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth Oh fuck Matt Come on With the super mega book

Let's go Thanks for Thanks for giving me that floor Appreciate it Thanks for giving me that floor. Appreciate it. Matt's still piddling through the book. Sorry.

His hands moving as if they were the Grinches. They're not moving like the Grinches, man. I'm just trying to find something that's not very spoiling. Stank. Stunk. Is that from the movie? Here. I got a good... What's up? I got a good one.

Should I read In the Shower with Captain David Jones or When We Meet Captain David Jones? Ooh, The Shower's very nice. Alright. That scene's beautiful. Here. I'll read the beginning of Chapter 9, Big Richard. Yeah, Justin, enjoy. Enjoy this, Justin, right?

And audience members. Chapter nine, Big Richard. Rub-a-dub-dub, it was time for some suds in the tub on a sub with some buds, because we're on a submarine. Ryan eagerly twisted the large metallic shower knob and dropped his trousers, giddy with anticipation. While waiting for the water to warm, Matt stripped down to his penis and balls before helping his partner do the same. When they saw the steam rising, the boys knew it was time to hop on in.

Splish splash. Ryan shut his eyes and rolled his head back, allowing the hot water to soothe him. It ran from the crown of his head down to the crown of his toes. Because of the limited space in the sub-shower, Matt sat on the floor below Ryan and let the runoff from his pal rain down upon him. He stuck out his tongue and playfully caught the water drops as they dripped from the bellend of Ryan's non-erect penis. Matt was not

erect either, because these guys aren't gay. They want you to know. Suddenly, there came a rap-tap-tapping on the chamber doors. Who is it? Ryan called. The doors slowly opened, and Captain David Jones peeked his head in. I think people will have to read the actual book to see what happens next

with Captain David Jones. Yeah, I think so. I just went to the page where there was an emoji. I just don't want to spoil what happens with Captain David Jones, because that's probably the best two pages

is what happens there. Yeah man. I don't want to give that away. We service that man. We service the captain. People actually read it like this is just like what I expected it to be.

This is just like the rest of the book. It's not that big of a okay. I'm very happy with the book. I would like for you guys to go read it. We made it purely out of passion because we've always wanted

to write a book and I'm very proud of us Ryan and I hope you enjoy it and if you don't give a fuck about the book that's fine thank you for watching our videos but you should read probably too yeah it's good for you it's good for your brain also if any of you guys

actually reading any book reading this book would help your brain yeah you know what and honestly I think if any of you are in high school and have to do like a book report on a book of your choosing please do it and then send us your report like put it on reddit or twitter

I would love to go through those and I want to see what your teacher says like the notes your teacher says I hope that this gets New York Times best selling so some like critic some like literature like critic like loves Shakespeare and shit like picks this book up and like what the fuck and they read it and I would love to see what a legitimate book critics review of our book would

be would be it would be pretty brutal it would it would be brutal yeah it would be very mean i would say because they they know how to use words to hurt they would they would basically say it's probably the most immature bucket of pig shit book they've ever read. They try to find out actual information about us and try to really whittle us down to our beings. The veiled criticisms of the United States government were completely overshadowed by the immaturity of the fart jokes and the penises.

That's like... However, I do like penises. I do not like them in my books. Keep them out of literature. Keep penises out of books. That's a big movement right now. Yeah, Mark Wahlberg. He's like,

you've seen with that picket sign, keep penises out of books. Come on, man. Just keep them out of books. What's the big deal? He does not want the word penis to be printed on a piece of paper. It doesn't belong there.

It's a visual thing. You have to be there to see it. Yeah. It ruins the magic. It ruins the magic of a penis. It's his paper. It doesn't belong there. It's a visual thing. You have to be there to see it. Yeah. It ruins the magic. It ruins the magic of a penis. It's his Muhammad. You can't print it. Don't fucking say that.

You can't print it on paper, man. It's too sacred. Gotcha with a nut. Yeah, I know. You clicked the nut button, dude. You clicked it while I was reading, too. Nope. You know what my blood pressure did when you did that?

My blood pressure fucking went through the roof. Why? Because I was interrupting you? Because you're a big baby? Who needs to talk all the time? Hey, asshole, you got some duct tape on the bottom of your shoe. Oh, fuck, I do, man. Yeah. Where did that even come from? I don't fucking know, dude. Oh, that's embarrassing.

Yeah. Oh, I got duct tape. You feel like a real jackass right now, don't you? Someone got me with the fucking oldest trick in the book. The old duct tape on the shoe. The oldest trick in the book. God damn, dude. That sucks. I can't even get it off. It's on there too strong.

Is it? Yeah, dude. It's fucking on there. Your fucking shoe's untied a little bit also. No, it's not. I made you look. Fucking idiot. Got him.

Why'd you make me... Dude, oh my God, man. I'm getting pissed off. All right? Dude, have a Snickers. Hey, Ryan, your feet are on fire. I made you look, dude. Oh, my God. See, it sucks, dude. You cunt. Hey Ryan your feet are on fire I made you look dude Oh my god

See it sucks dude You cunt Whoa Take it easy No I was just I thought we were just No that was a little bit too much You're kidding Justin

He's kidding That was a joke Right? Yes Of course it was I don't even know what to say to you right now. No, Justin, he was just joking. No. That was just a joke. Went a little too... Apologize real quick.

Just say you're sorry. I'm sorry, Justin. I didn't think it was gonna be. Yes, I am. You're not even looking me in the eye when you say it. Just look at him. I'm sorry, Justin. Look him in the eyes. I'm sorry, Justin. I didn't mean... I meant to say it, but I didn't mean any harm through it. it wasn't my intention

to harm you Justin with my words you know you look sincere enough uh sure alright now

okay now hug okay hug now hug yeah that's right guys there you go my phone fell that's great

that's great thank you there you go oh that was really nice Ryan you picked his phone up for him alright alright we're good okay we're good okay fun yeah alright nice man alright That's great. That's great. Thank you. There you go. Oh, that was really nice, Ryan. You picked his phone up for him. All right. All right.

We're good. Okay. We're good. Okay. Fun. Yeah. All right. Nice, man.

All right. Oh, man. I am sad. Why? What else is new? Wait. Michael Jackson's still around, isn't he? No.

You're fish. Oh, yeah, he is. Okay, good. Yeah, no, my fish is still, he's thriving, man. He's doing great. Ugly motherfucker. My beta fish. Thank God.

He's like healthy as fuck. He's just swimming around having a life right now. Knocking on wood still, he's thriving, man. He's doing great. Ugly motherfucker. My beta fish. Thank God. He's like healthy as fuck. He's just swimming around having a life right now. Knocking on wood. But he's very active. He's lovely. I feed him every day. Does he come say hi still when you feed him? Every time I come home, he swims up to the front of the tank and looks at me and I get

up close and I go, hi, Michael. Michael Jackson. He goes, hello. He's beautiful, man. And he does a little dance for you. He takes a little nap in his plants and just like sits there with his beautiful eyes. Do you see him with his eyes closed? No, they don't close their eyes.

What? They sleep with their eyes open. Do you see him with his eyes closed? No, they don't close their eyes. What? They sleep with their eyes open. Really? Uh-huh. Same. Can you tell when he's sleeping though? Mm-hmm. How?

Because. Is it because he's not going glop, glop? He rests. He goes and he rests on top of something. Oh. So, betta fish like to like nap on things. So, I have like a little plant. So, he'll go in and like get on one of the leaves and just rest on the leaf and like sit there.

Why'd you? Why'd you. He's just a fish. He didn't have to add the other part. Did you? Yeah, it's a descriptor. It's what he is. I love the guy, but he is a beta. He's kind of fucked. That's why I own him. I couldn't own an alpha or a sigma fish.

Have you seen those muscles on those fish? Michael Jackson's a tiny little guy. own an Alpha or a Sigma fish. Have you seen those muscles on those fish? Michael Jackson's a tiny little guy. We were talking about the Alpha fish. The Sigma fish is another fucking story. The Brazilian Sigma fish? But I'm sad. Because a YouTuber that I have watched for many

years, that brought me a lot of joy, has passed away this week. Rest in peace. Ape Tour? Oh, yeah. We were introduced to him in the Grumps office. Ages ago. Jackson showed him to me

back when like freshman year of college. Was it you showed people in the Grumps office then? I think so. I think I showed Aaron and then it spread around the office. It was just this guy.

You can go check out his channel, but he's this kind of like middle-aged Norwegian guy and he would make videos where he would just like chug vodka and jump into like icy lakes and swim around and then roll around in the snow. Like unbelievable stuff. And he was just having fun, man. And like two weeks ago, we uploaded a video called I Am Not Dead, I Am 57. And it was him celebrating his 57th birthday.

How long ago? Less than two weeks ago at this point. And he films himself just like having fun and dancing around and jumping and stuff and really just having a good time, drinking some vodka. And then he unfortunately passed away several days later while filming a video. While filming a video? In a frozen lake, he fell through the ice. He drowned?

Yep. God damn it. I read the report that, like, an eyewitness, like, heard his screams and then called the people and then divers went and got him. Yeah, it's awful. It's so sad. He died doing what he loved. At first I thought it was going to be, like, some health condition.

No, he fell through the ice in, like, a frozen lake. That fucking sucks. I know, dude. I actually was really fucked. I mean, I am really sad. Like, he fell through the ice in a frozen lake. That fucking sucks. I know, dude. I actually was really fucked. I mean, I am really sad. I loved his... When I found out... He wasn't doing the great... It's like what he was doing was entertaining,

yes, but it wasn't the smartest thing. Right. Like when he took his Volvo out on a frozen lake and was doing donuts. But it was entertainment. Yeah. He died doing what he loved. he was having fun and I actually saved this on my phone

it makes me feel sad but in his final video he uploaded this is the last right here this is the this is the last shot of him

it's his birthday and he's just enjoying himself look at this ready where's the play button look at this ready he has a hat on and everything I think you sent me this over text Play button. Look at this. Ready?

He has a hat on and everything. I think you sent me this over text. That's it. He puffs his cigarette and he does a sigh and he chuckles to himself while looking into the camera with his cowboy hat on. God damn it, dude. Rest in peace. Rest in fucking peace. To a true king. What an awful way to pass.

Damn, dude. I'm so sad about that. He was such a true king. What an awful way to pass. Damn, dude. I'm so sad about that. He was such a good YouTuber. I'm glad that he had the success and everything he desired. The audience that loved him. I just ordered some of his merch so I could have it with me.

Are they going to sell the remains at all? No no i don't think so i don't think they're maybe not i don't know he might want that but i i can i can maybe find his wife on facebook and ask yeah probably yeah i guess but fly high ape tour yeah or opitor legitimately he was so fucking entertaining he He was so pure. Whenever, like I remember sitting around everyone in the Grump, Grump,

Gramps, everyone in the Grump's office was fucking transfixed on this dude and everyone was watching him and it was just like, yeah. And we just watched video

after video after, and it never got old. I gotta find that vodka that he drinks and I think it's called like Viking Ford. I've never seen it

in America, but it's like a, it's like a Norwegian vodka that he drinks. I think it's called Viking Ford. I've never seen it in America, but it's like a Norwegian vodka that he drinks in every video. You gotta order a bottle and drink it to him. I gotta find a bottle and drink it in his honor. Jump into ice. Say Skål. That's like cheers in Norwegian. Skål. And then do a little sip and go

Ah! Fucking pour one out. That fucking sucks. Have a sip of vodka for A's tour. Ah! You have that crazy look in his eyes his videos are very entertaining though I love them, I love you Ape Tour, rest in peace fly high, you're in the big you're in the big ice bathtub in heaven now

chilling, Justin you should do videos like that, up in North Dakota when it freezes over, yeah, I thought about it roll around in the the snow a little bit. Yeah, it's just too cold. Well, that's the entire point. What's the dumbest thing you ever did when you were a kid? Oh, that's a big question. His own dad. Come on, that wasn't dumb. That was just wrong. He wrote a song about it. Yep. Not when I was a kid. You did. I was 18. Yeah, you were a kid when you were 18. You were an adult when you were 18. I'm a kid right now. You're was a kid. I was 18. Yeah, you're a kid when you're 18. You're an adult when you're 18.

I'm a kid right now. You're not a kid, Ryan. You're 27 years old. I'm like Little Bill. No. No. Little Bill is canonically a rapist. That's why I'm wearing overalls in my hat today.

See, watch. Oh, shit. It spins. Yeah, it does spin. I fucking love Little Bill, dude. He's canonically a rapist. Little Bill? Yes. It's Bill Cosby. It's supposed to be. Little's canonically a rapist little Bill? yes it's Bill Cosby

it's supposed to be little Bill's not a rapist yes it's a young version of Bill Cosby who is a rapist little Bill was in fictional events therefore he's not Bill Cosby it's like a multiverse

he's a good Bill if Bill Cosby wasn't a fucking piece of shit he'd be little Bill there's the good Bill If Bill Cosby wasn't a fucking piece of shit There's little Bill and then there's just fucking Bill There's just Bill I want to say this real quick on the podcast Fuck Bill Cosby God love little Bill But fuck Bill Cosby

Fuck Bill Cosby It is a multiverse situation I fucking hate Bill Cosby But little Bill Little Bill slaps Little Bill fucking slaps But if I ever saw Bill Cosby But little Bill Little Bill slaps Little Bill fucking slaps But if I ever saw Bill Cosby I swear to God

It's a multiverse situation I swear to God I'd beat his fucking ass I'd beat his ass goofy Dude I would I'd fucking I'd fucking sock Bill Cosby In the jaw dude

I would beat his goofy ass I would dude It's very easy I'd say come here Bill Isn't he blind? He wouldn't see it coming Yeah he wouldn't He wouldn't see my fucking haymaker

Coming to the side Actually fuck Bill Yeah Bill Cosby's a piece of shit So we can say Fucked up things About beating the shit out of him He's not like He wouldn't see it coming Yeah he wouldn't He wouldn't see my fucking haymaker Coming to the side of his head Actually wait Fuck Bill Yeah Bill Cosby's a piece of shit So we can say Fucked up things

About beating the shit out of him He's not like I mean he's He's gone blind Because he's old I guess right Is that why No he masturbated He masturbated too much

And went blind Sorry I don't know shit About Bill Cosby Other than he's a horrible Fucking dude And then I I guess he made little Bill

He's uh Bill Cosby was like... He would smell you coming, though. Justin. Wearing the Spartan scrub from Dr. Squatch. It wasn't that bad. It's not bad. Did you use it? A little bit, yeah.

Yeah? It's pretty good. What about you, Matt? What did you wash with today, in terms of soaps? Oh, I washed with... I used Olaplex shampoo and Olaplex conditioner. Of course you did. It sounds very nice.

Thank you. And then I used, I actually forgot the brand of soap I used. It smells really good though. Dove? L'Oreal? Might have been Dove Men's. Okay, perhaps. Justin!

They're a problem, buddy? Yeah, it's not Dr. Squatch. I mean, it isn't Dr. Squatch, but, you know, a man shouldn't be judged by the soaps that he scrubs on his body. You're right, a man shouldn't, but a mat should be. I'm a man, dude. You are a man, and you have the chest hair to prove it. I do have the chest hair to prove it. That's true, he does. He eats chest hair. He does. I'm a man, dude. You are a man. And you have the chest hair to prove it. I do have the chest hair to prove it.

That's true. He does. He does. I love Mel Watson. So I'm just reading about how a Lil Bill book apparently ended up on the top 10 banned book list for some reason because there was a transgender child or something. I don't know. I'm trying to find information about it.

So Lil Bill transitions. Okay. I don't know. I'm trying to find information about it. Little Bill Transitions. Okay. I'm trying to find this. More information on this. Bill Cosby's Little Bill series is one of the top ten challenged books of 2016. Yeah. Top ten books parents won't remove

from the library. Boycott Bill Cosby's Little Bill books. What happened? What did Little Bill do? I told you, he's a rapist! Dude, I... What do you mean? What are you saying? It's Bill Cosby, dude! No, it's Bill Cosby, and we already talked

about this. It's a fictional character because he goes through fictional circumstances. He's based on Bill Cosby. He's based on Bill Cosby. He's based on Bill Cosby. He's based on Bill Cosby. He's based on Bill Cosby. He's based on a rapist. No, no, no, no. He's based on the child. Little Bill is not

a fucking rapist! Little Bill has raped no one. Yes, that's true. Bill Cosby has raped many people. Fuck Bill Cosby. Fuck Bill Cosby. But Little Bill has done nothing wrong. Little Bill's probably just chilling at home right now with his sister, his brother,

his parents. It's like the argument of Hitler, essentially. What the fuck are you talking about? Young Hitler. Was young Hitler evil? He was a kid. He hasn't done anything. But he will go on to become that evil man. But little Bill is not Bill Cosby. His name isn't Bill Cosby. It's Bill, dude. It's not little Bill Cosby.

But it goes through fictional circumstances in this universe. But his name... It never happened to Big Bill. He's not... How do you know? It could have happened to Big Bill. His family isn't specifically the Cosby family. It's Little Bill.

It's supposed to be. But it's not. But if it's based on Bill Cosby, then it's based on a rapist. So he's going to grow up to be based on a man that is a rapist. Little Bill was based yeah you're right Little Bill was based on a rapist they're two separate people if he's based

on a rapist he can't he's not a rapist himself is all I'm trying to say he's based off of someone who is a rapist it doesn't mean he necessarily did that right it means he's based on a character that he's based on a man that committed sex crimes. They didn't base anything

they didn't base like they didn't put anything like secretively like little Bill like looking at like being like are you sure you should be wearing that skirt? You know they never had little Bill saying some stupid shit. Like little Bill like really misogynist. I'm sure little Bill said a lot of stupid shit.

Come on little Bill. But he's a child. Yeah, no, he tells women they'd be prettier if they smiled more and stuff like that. Little Bill is just a misogynistic piece of shit. Come on, smile more, sweetheart. I mean, Big Bill is. Look, okay, I'm gonna say this just on the record. If Little Bill did... Like, if Matt's right, then

fuck Little Bill. No, no, no, no, no, no. If Matt's right. He's based off of... I'm just putting this out there. If Little Bill were to grow up and do some crazy shit like what Bill Cosby did, fuck Little Bill. But I think Little Bill is a separate entity from Bill Cosby. Yes. You know what I mean? I think he's a separate.

I think he's a completely separate person. I'll concede my argument and restructure what I think now. I do think he's a separate entity from Bill Cosby. He's based on Bill Cosby, obviously. But it doesn't change the fact that he's based on a man who's a racist. Yes, and because he's based on Bill Cosby, that does sort of tarnish the... The legacy of Little Bill. The legacy of Little Bill, obviously.

But I think Little Bill, on his own, is his own person. We don't need to be tearing down little bill Like people like climbing on it They're trying to erase our history! They're trying to erase Little Bill! He's a child, for God's sake! Put Little Bill back in school! These goddamn liberal pussies can't handle Little Bill's truth! They are tearing down.

So hypothetically, we've got these Little Bill statues up all around America. And we've got Antifa climbing up on them and spraying them, pulling them down. Throwing hammers at protesters. We're going to, pulling them down. Throwing hammers at protesters. We're going to tear down those statues. They're throwing hammers at protesters, folks. What's next? Guess what? Pickaxes.

Caillou is bald. Let's tear him down, too. Let's tear down his statues. But we're not tearing down his statues, are we? Next, they're going to say Caillou's a white supremacist. Caillou is not a white supremacist. He doesn't choose to be bald. He just so happens to have alopecia.

Alopecia. Man, Caillou's a fucking bitch. Dude, that's what I'm saying. No, fuck Caillou. No, for real, fuck Caillou. Caillou's a fucking whiniest little bitch. He's always talking shit. His mom be looking fine and she kind of looks like him, though. The fuck she's not be looking fine, dude?

Caillou's mom is ugly as fuck. She looks like a fucking oven, dude. What are you talking about? His mom kind of looks good. Are you thinking of the right character? What the fuck? She looks like a fucking oven mitt dude What are you talking about? Stop it! Are you thinking of the right character? What the fuck? She looks like an oven mitt That is the funniest fucking thing

She has that curly brown hair That is the funniest fucking thing that is ever said Is that she looks like a fucking oven mitt She do got God damn Dude! Oh wait That's Kai Yu's mom dude fucking oven mitt. She do got... God damn, she's... Dude. Oh, wait. Who am I?

Wait. That's Caillou's mom, dude. Let me hold this. She looks like an oven mitt. Oh, she might got the wagon, though. Give me the shit. The wagon.

Fuck yeah, Caillou's mom's got it going on. What are you talking about? Tell me why. What do you mean why? She's got some nice... Bro, her hair look nasty.

Shit. Bro, she ain't washed that shit in weeks. She's got kind of like... That shit st look nasty. Shit. Bro, she ain't washed that shit in weeks. She's got kind of like... That shit stank, bro. Messy kind of brown hair. No. It looks like she got fucked up at the barber's.

She's got a fucking dumper on her. That bitch went to Great Clips, bro. She's got a nice handful right there. What are you talking about? What do you mean? Her thighs are pretty nice. I will say that. You know what I mean?

Fuck Caillou's mom, dude. Yes, exactly. That's the point. I want to fuck Caillou's mom. No. This bitch went to sports clips and said, fuck me up. Look at her hair, dude. It's awful.

It's actually really awful. She got a fucking Ronald McDonald ass. Dude, you're telling me if she offers to give you a hand job on the way to taking you to see the new Spider-Man movie. Well, yeah, I'll say yes, obviously. No, I have standards. Diamond Ned Flanders. I need, no, fuck her.

Yes. No, not like that. Fuck her as a person. No. Her personality is fucking stupid. She raised a little shit. No, listen. Exactly.

You want me to fucking get a hand job from someone that raised a fucking little piece of shit? What does that say about her? She's probably a piece of shit too. And you want me to have a sexual relationship with this person? No. She's Caillou's mother, though, and he's a staple to American media. She's built like an oven mitt. Ain't she hot?

I looked up Caillou's mom rule 34, and there's a lot of things that I wish I had not just seen. Right? Because now it changes things. Let me get a peek at that shit. It's not just Caillou's mom. Let me get a peek at that shit. So I'm just going to go ahead and close those tabs. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. People are fucking weird. Shouldn't that just be off the internet? It should. It's drawings, I guess, so it's a gray area. I don't think drawings are a gray area. I think that's still illegal still, I think. I guess no one's reported those things.

They're on Google Images. Caillou is a bitch. I'll circle back to that. Caillou sucks. Caillou's mom. Little Bill is everything that Caillou wishes he could be. Little Bill's mom can get it too. Yeah, Little Bill's mom. Let me look up Little Bill's mom here.

Caillou's dad also pisses me off. What a fucking beta. You look at that little punchable face, dude. I won't disagree with you there. I do Bill like a tic-tac. Damn it, now my recent search is it just says Caillou mom naked. Caillou dad naked. Some results may be explicit.

Is his dad a dilf? Caillou posts his dad's nudes on Instagram. That's a YouTube video with 5,000 views. What is this? There's a- what? It won't let me click it. Probably for the best. Man, you didn't even look up Lil Bill's mom. Sorry man, I got distracted. Let me look this shit up. I wanna see what Lil Bill's mom looks like. What do you mean? She's a fox!

No, she's a woman, Ryan. Little Bill's mom. She's a bombshell, baby. Oh, yeah. She's pretty cute. Pretty cute. She's gorgeous, bro. Exactly.

She's beautiful. Same with Caillou's mom. I would... No, not Caillou's mom. Come on. I'd kiss her, dude. Imagine... I know we're getting into the same... And we already talked about Mrs. Butterworth.

It's kind of the same rhythm. But a threesome with Caillou's mom and little Bill's mom might not be so bad. This dude's smiling. You know she got that good pussy. Oh my god. That dude looks like a... What's his name? Corey Baxter's dad. Yeah, he does. Rondell Sheridan?

Yes. Is he an actor? I know his name because I have an autograph. You have his number. He calls you up and cries to you all the time about how they had to cancel Cory in the house and how he could have had his own show outside of Cory in the house

he's gotta let it go man he has to let that shit go it could have been it could have been he can only move on if he lets it go kind of a daddy in the house that's what he wanted

he is it's daddy in the house he won't let it go I'm a chef yeah it's kind of sad because it's like yeah he could have had

a spinoff show for himself but Disney didn't want that and his time is over and he can't let it go and he's living in the past because it's like, yeah, he could have had a spinoff show for himself, but Disney didn't want that, and his time is over, and he can't let it go, and he's living in the past, and it's honestly sad. Yeah. He cannot let go, and he calls me. Sorry, I was still looking at Little Bill's mom. Rondell Sheridan, the actor that played Corey's dad in Corey in the House.

Yeah. What about him? He wanted his own show, and they never gave it to him. He was supposed to be Daddy in the House instead of Corey in the House. He pitched it many times at Disney, Daddy in the House, and they repeatedly said, it's a good idea, Rondell, but we're not going to do it.

We're not going to do a spinoff of a spinoff, you see. He also tried to become the voice actor for Stitch and Shaggy. And it just never worked out. He actually is off his Disney contracts now. I think he might be pitching Daddy in the House to several networks,

but I'm trying to tell him just he needs to stop living in the past and move on. Because he's killing himself. He's torturing himself with this. I mean,

Daddy in the House is a great, you know, at least the pilots, you know, it reads like a Disney show. It reads like a Disney show. I mean,

it's literally, it's the pilot from Cory in the House just with more features of him. And then all the scenes with Cory are cut out and then the scenes are...

Yeah. It's just all him. Pretty much the Cory scenes have him in it. He's gonna have to cut Drake Bell out of all the... He's not in Cory in the House. No.

Well, no, but he was gonna be on the show as a character. Yes, he was gonna be Josh. Yeah. And unfortunately, you know, Drake Bell can no longer... I just wanna, like, for real Josh. Yeah, yeah. And unfortunately, you know, Drake Bell can no longer. I just wanna, like,

for real though, like, we should've seen it coming when Drake Bell left the country and went to fucking Mexico and started, like, change his name. Change his name. And then, like, six months later, it came out that he was, like, running from the fucking police. Yeah, it's like, why, like, oh, he just left the country

and changed his name? I thought it was so weird. I thought it was so weird I thought it was so weird I was like why the fuck did he because it's like you know whatever that's what he wants to do Drake combined I was just like oh that's such an odd thing that he just did but now it makes sense Ryan's seen him in Glendale before he's very short

Ryan's seen him in Glendale you've seen him? at the Galleria I saw him twice at the Galleria. Both times, I think, with Daniel. Didn't you say his hair was like a football moment? No, one time with Daniel, one time by myself. Wow.

Fuck. He was with someone once, and then once he was by himself. Hey, I saw Jack Black at the Americana, Justin. You lucky motherfucker. I was going down the escalator. Was Daniel with you? Okay. And we were like, what? And then we went up the escalator to see. Oh, was I just... I think we were just at the Americana by ourselves, You lucky motherfucker. I was going down the escalator. Was Daniel with you? Okay. And we were like, what?

And then we went up the escalator to see. Oh, was I just... I think we were just at the Americana by ourselves and we saw him and we were like, was that Jack Black? Maybe. So we went up the escalator, did a little spying.

It was Jack Black. Watched him get in his car. Kind of creepy, but... What kind of car? What kind of car did he drive? I don't remember. It was an SUV. It was like a...

Do you remember the license plate number at all? Like a... What color? Like, did it start with a number or a letter? Something like a Range Rover Range Rover or something nicer You need to think a little harder buddy What's that license plate buddy?

The license plate was white? No the car The license plate is white It can be black as well, black with the yellow letter I think I'm going to get that for my car The black with the yellow letter? Actually I just saw that Brian Griffinrian griffin is available in california brn grfn not now not anymore there you gotta get it now before this goes out there's a

fucking chain on that same website where you got our sonic chains where it's brian griffin and i want it so fucking bad i saw that i mean you got a shadow theedgehog one right yeah I have it with me still I bring it with every time I travel you don't need anything to replace it though right it's just a collection I can't even wear both of them on the same chain you have a good one why would you want another one

or I can wear both of them at the same time yeah but then one's gonna get in the way of the other one they're clashing you wouldn't want to wear stripes with plaid. Same type of thing, you know? You wouldn't want to wear polka dots with lipstick. But you see rappers wear chains all the time. Yeah, well, true, Justin,

but it doesn't look good. The fashion police are very against what you're doing. Yeah, the fashion police out here are pretty fucking crazy, dude. I wish that was real. It's mostly because they're all... I wish the fashion police were real, dude. Fashion police, open the door! I know, because they'd be coming for your ass right now.

Shut up, Justin, with your fucking suit jacket on, bro. My fucking suit jacket? It's not a suit jacket. I got it at Urban Outfitters in Charleston, South Carolina. It's a blazer, right? It's really comfy. I like wearing it on a suit jacket. It does look like a suit jacket. It's comfy though. It's really comfy. Hell yeah Justin if they're coming for anyone they're coming for you with those fucking turquoise Crocs. Whoa dude

These are literally the lag blues. You watch your fucking mouth. Lag blues? You watch your fucking mouth. Dude he's got the lag blues. Dude is that lag blue? It is lag blue. You see that shit? I might have to get some Crocs dude. Those look fire Yeah, you know Matt's over here talking shit about my Crocs. I just said they look fire. When he saw them in person, he was like, dude, I wish I had that color Crocs. I do. I really do. They're nice. Hey, the shoes I'm wearing right now are the shoes that when we were in Charlotte at Hooters with that fan, the waitress, the Hooters girl came by and said, I like your shoes.

And I said, thanks. See these? These Nike's. Those are nice shoes. Blazers? Blazers? Blazers? Something?

I don't know why she didn't. I mean, I was wearing flip flops. I was wearing the good flops. I was wearing the good flops. Ooh, I like your peats. She could have just said nothing. She could have just been laying in her head like, nice shoes. But she looked at me and she said, I like your shoes.

So she liked Matt's shoes better because she saw it. She didn't even mention my slides. She thought it. And she liked them so much. Because think about it. She might have liked your shit and she just didn't think it was. She wasn't compelled enough to say it. She wanted to establish a point of interaction with me.

Yeah. She wanted to make a line. I think it was more of her wanting to. I think she was just trying to get at me. She was trying to make me jealous. She was trying to make you jealous. She was trying to make me jealous and she wanted me to be mad. Yeah.

She really liked me. I bet she was. She wanted to bone me, dude. I could see it in her eyes. No, she was just mocking you to get to me. No, she wasn't. Nice shoes. Then she rolled her eyes.

No, she didn't. Then she looked over me and went. Then she looked at me and then gave the handjob motion. No, she didn't. You're lying now. Then did a thumbs to the back and I went, I can't. My stomach. No, no, no, no, no.

She wanted to have sex with me. I saw it. Yep. No, she did not blow me a kiss. How did you know, Justin? No, she did not. Because I was there. I was on FaceTime with Ryan

In his pocket I was here this is not what happened She kissed my tummy though The kiss she blew it hit my tummy Did it feel nice It reverberated and you can see the ripples And then it reverberated and then like it shook And then it hit your penis

And then it touched your penis right No it never touched my penis Because I never gave her permission to but I would have but she didn't ask she asked me man because I could tell she didn't

now you're lying I'm not going to name drop him but I do know this one guy who is always like if you're out like in a group with him and like a girl talks to just even like a waitress she's like

I think she definitely wants me I can tell bleep it she wants me who is it bleep it he's really good like his family's

really good friends with Damien Auburn Gorillaz oh but the guy who owns Gorillaz yeah the main singer

from the Gorillaz oh nevermind sorry I can't believe they made a whole fucking band where they just use Gorillaz

so how the fuck do they play music hmm the Oh, never mind. Sorry. I can't believe they made a whole fucking band where they just use gorillas. How the fuck do they play music? Hmm? The gorillas. Because it's just a band of gorillas, isn't it? How the fuck do they play music? It's like a hologram. But no, but it's just gorillas. They taught them, dude.

They're smart. They taught them how to play music? These nuts. Is it true that Coco the gorilla couldn't, like, she didn't understand sign language? Like, it wasn't actually a... Yeah, I think that was all bullshit. Like, it ended up being bullshit. She couldn't, like, speak fluently with people,

but she could still generate, like, there were emotions that were tied to certain, like... She wasn't communicating at the depth of which people were led to believe, I think, is the general consensus. She didn't kill that kitten, right? No. Okay, she loved the kitten. The kitten died.

Oh, yeah. And she got sad when the kitten died. Oh, man. I got so sad the other night. But she didn't, I don't think she understood that, like, Robin Williams is dead. Or wait, was that an Onion video? It was like Coco was told that Robin Williams is dead. Coco died before Robin Williams died.

Then who's the... Wait, what? That was not a real video where the... Someone released a video on YouTube at least where it was like Coco was told Robin Williams... If I did some random gorilla... I'm pretty sure that's like ClickHole, dude. I think that's a Click...

That's what I'm saying. I think it like... I can't remember if it was an Onion or ClickHole type thing. Look at it up. Oh, okay. So she knew Robin Williams. Oh, no, it really happened. Wait. These photos of Coco the gorilla mourning the loss.

So you were laughing at me. It's real. You were laughing at me and said, no, she did it. But look, the video right here, Coco the gorilla mourns her friend Robin Williams. You have an apology for mocking me? Me? Are you talking to me? Yes.

I'm sorry, yeah. Absolutely. Did Justin jump in on that at all? I thought it was a joke. Did you notice that he was spearheading it? He was the one spearheading it. I was just tagging along. Shut up.

She's not in San Francisco. That's a lie. Look how sad she is because Robin Williams passed. She's heartbroken. Dude, Coco has dealt with a lot of loss. Look at this. Oh my God. That makes me sad as shit.

I don't want to see this. Yeah. I was about to tell another story that's really sad, but I decided not to. Let's keep it upbeat. Let's keep it just positive vibes, bro. Let's keep it upbeat, positive vibes, good energy. We can talk about apple juice again. No, I think the apple juice haters are going to get pissed if we give apple juice a bigger floor.

Okay. We can read another surprise excerpt from the book. Tomato juice? Fuck tomato juice. Oh, yeah. Okay, I'll read another excerpt from the book yeah are you are you guys paid to tits what the fuck does that mean do you have a strong sense of patetism oh not really we did it on purpose yeah it's an artistic uh what is it an artistic uh

i know i can't think i know what you're talking about. You know what that is? Yeah. What's the word, Justin? Artistic, um... Not lea... No, artistic... Oh, wait. Artistic... You know what I'm talking... Yeah, not leniency. An artistic...

It's like you give yourself room. Fuck, it's like right on the tip of my tongue. Me too, it's like gone. Uh... Fuck. Influent? No. Artistic.

What is it? What is it? Artistic liberty? Yeah, yeah, artistic liberty. Yeah, artistic liberty. Yeah, artistic liberty. I took artistic liberty. Is it? Yes.

Here. You got to read another passage. This is big. This is our book. Here, this is huge. Chapter, page 157. Okay. Bullets zipped by Matt's greasy hair as he offered a quiet thanks that Italians were terrible at almost everything they tried, shooting bullets being one of those.

The mob, a few hundred meters behind the boys, were slowly closing the gap on Matt and Ryan as their boat picked up speed. Give me another clip, bozo. I'm gonna unload on these cannolis, Don Vito growled, donning a tiny little machine gun. It wasn't a very good gun. The barrel was bent and constructed of cheap metals, probably Italian. Climbing over his minions to the front of the boat,

Don Vito loaded the clip into his puny gun and with a laugh yelled, Say hello to my little gun! And that's, uh... That's beautiful. You know, my buddy, our buddy, Chris, is coming to stay with Matt in a couple days and he's very Italian. I didn't give him permission.

He just booked tickets, and he's coming. Oh, great. I'm just kidding. I'm inviting him. I'm very excited. But he's very Italian. Is he? He's going to love it.

I didn't know. Dude, is he really very Italian? Yeah. This book is, if you replaced Italians with any other group of people, this book would be very not allowed. Yeah. He's gonna love it. We're very good. He loves Italy. Is he very

proud of his Italian heritage? Yeah. That's hilarious. Is he really? He says he wants to make some of his mama's gravy while he's here. That's not Italian. Mama's gravy? He calls it gravy for some reason, but it's just sauce. He wants to make some of mama's gravy. That's what he calls it. That sounds like a southern thing. That sounds not a town. Mama's gravy? He calls it gravy for some reason, but it's just sauce. She wants to make some of Mama's gravy? That's what he calls it. That sounds like a southern thing.

That sounds like a sex thing. Old Sebo. Mama's gravy? Yeah, he's great. I'm excited for Chris to get here. Sebo. Yeah, hi, I'm Chris. That's who it is.

You're not on Sebo level with him yet? Not yet. Not yet. I've only talked to him once on Discord. Like, voice chat. Give it a few more days, sport. See, I've only talked to him once on voice chat. Now he's coming to stay in my house.

I saw him on a Minecraft server. And I think we said hello. He's cool. We had a short conversation. I fucking love Chris. His album that he dropped this year is one of my favorite albums of the entire year. The Scratch and Sniff one? Mm-hmm.

Hi, I'm Chris is his name. You guys should go listen to it. It's a really good album. What's his name? Hi, I'm Chris. Why do you keep bleeping it out? I'm not bleeping it out, Ryan. Dude. I'm not. Why? I'm bleeping you out. It's fucking C-Bo, dude. They all say C-Bo, let go. Really good music. I'd go check it out if I were you.

But you're not me. Yeah. You're not going to listen to it, are you? Stop. Why are you doing this? Are you not going to stream C-Bo, let go on Spotify? Huh? You're not gonna listen to it are you Stop Why are you doing this Are you not gonna stream Seebo Let Go on Spotify Huh You're not gonna stream Seebo Let Go on Spotify Nope

It's very creative music It's very creative What the fuck dude You put a lot of work into it It's great Oh he put a lot of work into it Yeah you can tell It's very creative

And very personal I helped him with the album Dude No you didn't Justin You did Oh like you helped Drake With his album too I did

You did help Drake With his album I don't believe it i don't even know justin actually wrote hotline justin was just humming that you know the song passion fruit mine really yeah that's me i produced it believe it or not the song is written by justin Bye Justin Nothing but lag Subscribe to Nothing but lag Yo Drake

What does that mean? Yo man You know what I mean Yo man You know what that is? I love Drake Not really But yeah

Did you help Chris With the album? I just He mixed out All the songs He mastered Everything actually I didn't really Help him with it Too much Dude mixing and mastering Is like so fucking He just... He mixed all the songs. He mastered everything, actually. I didn't really help him with it too much.

Dude, mixing and mastering is like so fucking hard. No, dude. I just snap my fingers and it's done. Nope. It's not. Trying to have a conversation with someone, it's like, oh, dude, this is like pretty hot outside.

Nope. It's not. We talked about it. Our friend Christian... He listened to that... He's like the first podcast I listened to in months immediately starts with you guys roasting me. And I was like, fuck.

Come on. Come on, you motherfucker. The book comes out on his birthday, which is tomorrow, which is also the 80th anniversary. His birthday's on Pearl Harbor? Yeah. Damn. So is my uncle.

Damn, Kings. Yeah. Pearl Harbor, man. What a fucking time that was. That shit sucked. That shit was mad. That shit was bad vibes. Yeah. That shit was mad. That shit was bad vibes. Yeah. That shit was not

fucking cash money. Yeah, the movie was sucked. Yeah, dude. Fucking insane. I can't believe that shit happened, dude. Fuck Pearl Harbor. The movie Pearl Harbor was awful. Imagine if that really happened. The movie? Yeah, what's in the movie. Like, imagine if Pearl Harbor

was based on, like, a real thing. That would be in the history books imagine if Pearl Harbor was based on a real thing that would be in the history books I still want to watch that fucking 9-11 movie with you guys the Nicolas Cage one? yeah we gotta watch that or the one with Charlie Sheen Whoopi Goldberg and Charlie Sheen

were they in the elevator in the Twin Towers? who casted that? I'll watch either of those I was thinking the other night I want to go back and watch those interviews where he's having his little episodes makes me sad that dude was fucked up

why did he do that? was that purely for attention? or do you think he was actually having a mental breakdown? people love when celebrities go bananas that's why people are so interested in fucking Kanye West because they're so interested in fucking Kanye West. And the media loves him. Because they're so interested in someone who's so fucked up mentally,

then they can just make a fucking circus out of him. That makes me sad, too. It is sad because Kanye needs help. Yeah, a lot of celebrities do that. He's probably passed a lot. Because he needs to want it, right? He's never going to get help. Kanye will never get help.

It makes me really sad, dude. Kanye's so fucking talented. He's one of my favorite artists yeah he is unbelievably mentally ill but he needs a lot of fucking help and it sucks

oh if a TV can be like hey you wanna give Kanye's gonna give us an interview yeah oh they feed on it they feed on it I know and that's fucking

it's gross of course they offered like let's interview Charlie Sheen right now cause like he'll say all this crazy shit and it is sad to a degree because I don't know aren't they

kind of doing that to themselves? No they are doing it to themselves like it's just when they have a mental breakdown the whole world watches and you know Kanye's always had like kind of asshole tendencies you know what I mean so like there's yeah like he's a fucking asshole but like I don't know it's weird

it's weird there's so many factors there But that doesn't mean you want to see someone being tortured Like not getting help The whole point is that they'd get help to maybe see Jim Carrey is a good example Someone that's kind of just sad It just looks like he's just like Some of the interviews are just so fucking weird

It's like, okay dude Sounds like a college student sometimes With the stuff that he says. He just found out about nihilism. Yeah. And now he's a... Exactly. That's what it sounds like.

Yeah, dude, it's a... I like his paintings. Mm-hmm. Can you buy Jim Carrey paintings anymore? Is that picture where he's carrying the coffin? It's really sad. Yeah, that's... Well, that was a whole unfortunate situation.

Yeah, that's... Because I think that was an ex at the time. It was. And then her family sued him because it was his medication. Awful situation. Yeah. I think that was an ex at the time. And then her family sued him because it was his medication. Awful situation. Poor Jim. I do love Jim Carrey's movies. It's kind of weird to bring it up, but yeah.

I did see the picture of him holding the coffin up. We're talking about sad celebrity stuff. Hey, you guys ever seen The Grinch? It's a... Are there any, like, big internet people that have had, like,

a very public mental breakdown? Yeah. Besides Keemstar? No. Fucking... What was his name? Didn't... Boogie?

Boogie has had several breakdowns as his character, Francis, and some of just... In general, most of his breakdowns are more through the actions that he makes and like the shit that he like you hear

through the grapevine of like what he says and does to other YouTubers Etika was like an example someone that needed help and it was like big I'm still so fucking sad I know that's devastating that fucking sucks well that's pleasant yeah everything we're talking about

yeah that was can we end it on a happy note Can we talk about something happy Like apple juice Apple juice is great dude What's your favorite juice Apple juice Strawberry kiwi Simply apple juice dude

You cannot get that fucking Fuck Mott's apple juice Fuck Kroger apple juice you gotta get Simply apple juice it's the kind of apple juice they keep in the fucking fridge cause think about it you go to the store and you get apple juice that shit's on a shelf how good can it be sometimes you leave it out Justin and it makes me worry

but it stays cold enough I just don't think you should be leaving it out I don't think you should be having habits of leaving apple juice if you're driving back from the grocery store and it's like 30 minutes away, your apple juice is going to get a little less cold. Sometimes it gets room temperature. Back when we first started getting that apple juice. So if it's room temperature for like five minutes.

Not for five minutes. It would be out for like hours. Then I throw it away if it's out that long at room temperature. I don't think it'll go bad if you leave apple juice out for five hours I don't think apple juice goes bad the same way like milk would you know it's the same stuff right

when are we gonna watch the Croods dude put it in the fucking movie bowl I don't wanna put that in the movie bowl I wanna just watch the Croods have you seen the Croods no I've never seen the Croods do you have a want to see the Croods not really it's like this weird thing where I don't the Croods? No, I've never seen the Croods. Do you have a want to see the Croods? Not really. Yeah, same. What the fuck, dude? It's like this weird thing where

I don't really want to watch this children's movie, Justin. Peabody and Sherman, dude! Peabody and fucking Sherman? Justin, I'm almost 26 years old. I'm so uninterested in both of those movies. You need to see the fucking Croods. I don't, though. That's your nostalgia. That's not my nostalgia. Justin, me seeing it, I'd just be like,

this sucks. Justin, we seeing it, I'd just be like, this sucks. Justin, we're on the second half of our, on the latter half of our 20s heading toward 30s. I don't want to sit down and watch a fucking children's movie. Hey, some children's movies are great. Some, yeah. But the Croods, modern children's movies are not good. Usually not. Yeah, says the dude that plays fucking Katamari all the time.

Whoa, dude. Fucking talking about children's shit. Katamari's not a children's game. It was made by a grown man. Exactly. all the time. What does that have to do with anything? Is it because... Katamari's not a children's game. It was made by a grown man. It doesn't look like it. There's not a single fucking gun in Katamari. There are guns in Katamari. Really?

There's cops that shoot at you, too. Katamari's awesome. I fucking love Katamari. There's guns. It sucks when the cops shoot you. Are there... I don't know what to say, actually. All right.

Well, then we are going to end this week's episode of the podcast. Justin ran out of things to say, unfortunately. I ran out of things to say. That's it. Out of fuel. And actually, everybody, Justin is very, very, very, very dedicated to his channel. And we told him

if he can hit 100,000 subscribers, we will send him on a trip to go see a Carlos Mencia show all by himself. It'd be the first time he traveled alone, and he always wanted to do that, and he's gonna be in Minneapolis in a couple months. So if you could help our man out, he puts a lot of effort into his videos.

So go subscribe to Nothing But Lag. That's Justin's channel. YouTube.com slash Nothing But Lag. You can find me on Twitter. Same handle, just with Twitter instead. You know, laugh at all of his tweets. He has great tweets, Justin. Your tweets.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Your tweets. I probably have the funniest fucking tweets you've ever seen. Dude, your tweets always make me fucking bust out laughing. Thanks, man. Like, no joke. Every time I see one of your tweets, I'm like, pfft. Dude, your tweets always make me fucking bust out laughing. Thanks, man. Like, no joke. Every time I see one of your tweets, I'm like, pfft. Thanks, buddy.

You know, it makes me laugh. Go follow Justin. Go subscribe to his channel. Let's get this boy to 100,000. We gotta do... How about 100 million? All three of us. 100 million thousand followers.

Gotta build a ginger... I wanna build a gingerbread house with you guys. Oh, yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. And how about you guys get us to a million subscribers? We're very close. And it would kind of be epic. That'd be pretty fucking...

There's a spider. What? There's a spider? Yep. Under the chair. See it? See it moving? It just crawled really far under the chair.

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