supermegashow - EP 300 - Now You See Us

Episode Date: June 18, 2022

We talk about gibbons and show off our new live action podcast set! Go to Betterhelp.com/SuperMega for 10% off your first month. Go to BlendersEyewear.com and enter promo code SUPERVIP for 15% off. Go to Bombas.com/Super for 20% off your first purchase. Go to MintMobile.com/SuperMega to cut your wireless bill to $15 a month. Go to Stamps.com/Super for a 4-week trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com. Introducing Tim's new savory pinwheels, the perfect flaky and flavorful snack for those on the go, like me, who's recording this while snacking. Ooh, delicious. Try the roasted red pepper and Swiss or caramelized onion and parmesan pinwheels only at Tim's.

At participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Well, here we are. Supermega has finally done something that they said they were going to do, not in a timely manner. Not in a timely manner, but the point still stands. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. What do we look,

which camera do I look at? Should I even pay attention to that? Don flashed me his, I don't know what that was. Don just walked outside the door and flashed his penis. Was that his cock or one of his balls?

It's hard to tell. They're all the same size. But guys, welcome to, this is amazing. Episode 300 of the Super Megacast. That's right, episode 300. Welcome one and all Super Megacast. That's right.

Episode 300. Welcome one and all. Wow. We have hit 300 episodes. God damn. Don't you think this calls for a little celebration? Yeah, I think it does. I pulled out the Hennessy bottle for those listening on audio because now it is video.

Right. If you're on Spotify right now and listening to this, guess what? You can go to YouTube right now and you can actually watch our brand new set with the three camera setup. The podcast itself The podcast itself stays the same. I don't want to, you know, we gotta make sure we get the sound. I was letting you finish.

No, well the podcast stays the same, but now you can actually look at our beautiful faces. Want to rock, paper, scissors for who gets the first swig? Yeah. Oh. You gotta like really kind of hold it and See there's no the first swig? Yeah. Oh. What? It didn't... You gotta like really kind of

hold it and... See, there's no er anymore. What? Yeah. That's nothing. Let me try. I don't think

I'll be able to do it, but... See? I mean, you get the... It doesn't do the Just like I guess that just means we need some more Hennessy The friction has worn thin

Yeah, that's what it is There's been no liquid here for months because no one's had a sip out of the Hennessy Glass has eroded the cork Absolutely See?

It's fully dry Rock, paper, scissors, shoot Yeah Rock, paper, scissors, shoot Rock, paper, scissors, shoot Every time we play rock, paper, scissors it takes us like

seven times to finally do something different okay rock paper scissors shoot rock paper scissors shoot hey come on first swing it's all you buddy okay oh you already thanks for already yeah i mean do you want to do you want to reap reap it's the celebratory uh 300th episode hennessy everyone thought that the hennessy was a bit. Everyone's like, oh, they always talk about having the Hennessy bottle and making guests take a sip. And they thought it was just some like elaborate bit we do. But now you can actually see. No, this is the Hennessy bottle.

And it's at the level it's at now. Guests have sips every time they come on. That's pure gasoline. I'm not a big fan of alcohol. I'm sure there's alcohol out cognac. Not even close, actually. I'm sure there's alcohol out there that's just fucking brutal. Dude, this is a... You can feel it running through your body. I hate Hennessy, personally speaking.

Well, you gotta take a celebratory sip. How big of a swig did you take? Huh? How big of a swig did you take? Probably like if there was two caps of plastic Coke bottles. You know what I mean? Okay, that's a great way to put it. I wish that, you know, unfortunately,

it doesn't have that type of lid, so I can't measure it. No, it has the nipple lid. Just go ahead and have a little Hennessy. Like I have like a sympathy reaction whenever I watch you take a swig. Makes me like experience it all over again. I took, oh, I took a pretty big one.

Washing it down with sugar-free Red Bull is probably the, oh, the flavor combination there is unbelievable. Would you like a Stizzy? Would you like a hit of the Stizzy? Is that marijuana? Yeah man i mean we're going crazy now celebrate the 300th episode of the super that's a big deal that's a big deal that's somewhat that's somewhat of an achievement i think even 100 episodes was an achievement. Absolutely it was. How many podcasts quit before the 100th episode?

I'd say a large majority of podcasts that are attempted don't make it to episode 100. That's dizzy hits, bro. Watch out. I wish we got waters in here. I could take a sip of water. I know. I mean, I could go get us some water. Do you want a bottle of water?

Do you already have? Uh-huh. I've got that... I mean, I could go get us some water. Do you want a bottle of water? Do you already have... Uh-huh. I've got one right here. So I'm unprepared. I'm the unprepared one. No, uh... Oh, yeah, that... That Stizzy does...

It do be hidden. Well, we've got marijuana and Hennessy, and we're ready to have a good... A wonderful time on episode 300 of the Super Megacast. I think there's a part of me that's still, like, playing... You know, we're always gonna be 300 of the super mega cast. I think there's a part of me that's still like playing, you know,

we're always going to be aware of the cameras, but there's a part of me that's like, Oh no. Oh, totally. Yeah. Okay. What are we talking?

I'm thinking of it as if it were a video, but I got to keep the mentality of no video to be, to remain comfortable. It, because what I love about the podcast was we always just felt super comfortable and now cameras are on, we just gotta get over that little, like, we gotta break through that period where it's like, gotta forget the cameras

are there, you know, and just fucking... We just talk like two best friends. That's right. Pound it. Nuck it. Nuck it, brother. What's been good with you besides your back? Oh my god, dude. I'm doing the same thing right now. That Hennessy is... Tasting it for a second time. Oh, that is I'm doing the same thing right now. That Hennessy is tasting it for a second time.

Good Hennessy, bro. That is delicious cognac, dude. That Hennessy hits. Holy fuck. Yeah, man. Um, nothing big. My birthday's coming up. How old are you turning? 28. That's right. And we started the channel

when I was 21. Yeah. That's right. And we started the channel when I was... 21. Yeah. 21. Exactly. So we've been doing this for a bit. Holy shit, man.

I'm sure, I mean, it's coming up. We're going to have been doing Super Mega for a decade, which is ridiculous to think about. Yeah. Our next milestone is seven years, next April. Yep. Fuck. Dude, honestly, it only really started hitting me how long we've been doing this,

like within the last year, when I'm like six years. Fuck. It was when we hit the five-year mark. I was like, damn. Because I remember you and I in the beginning, we always kind of talked like however long this goes. I think you and I were a bit dismissive of the fact that it could go close to slash over a decade but i'm pretty confident that that um that will remain correct and at

some point something will happen to to steer us off the road like a tragedy put that into the universe i'm not putting it into the universe look Look, if I were to be spread across concrete by some jackass, you know, listening to Kid Rock or Riff Raff while blazing through a stoplight, that's not on me. I was following the rules of the road. No, absolutely. And it happens. It happens.

I'd be devastated. Would you want me to keep doing the podcast just by myself? How depressing would that be? Just continue. I just, I continue the channel. There's like an empty, but the chair stays here and the wide shot continues. The wide shot still shows and it still randomly like cuts over to your empty chair. Yeah, so, you know, just doing the podcast.

What's been going on with you though? Anything big? Anything bright and beautiful? My house has, for the last few weeks, been turned off. It's going to continue to be this way. We talked about it last episode where you are a motel of sorts. I'm pretty much, I call it Matthew Watson's Heartbreak Hotel. It's where all the newly single men are coming to stay with me.

It's basically, it's like a halfway house for incels. But the Plex is turning into that as well. Yes. Yeah, Don was staying in my studio. Jim was in my downstairs. And I just had to be real. Jim was in your downstairs? Come on.

Yeah, man. You know. And he keeps it clean. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, him and I talk about how clean we keep it because him and I both do the same thing where after we poop, or sometimes during to help poop out,

we fill up our rump with water and then shoot it out. We just clean out, we douche out our assholes. What's the chamber that you've, are we just filling up, like, what are we filling up? I can tell you. So basically, a little bit of butthole anatomy. You've got the sphincter. That's the muscle that contracts that keeps your asshole closed.

Okay. There is like a chamber. Okay, good. And then a second sphincter. And then all the shit's up there. And when you're ready to shit, it comes to that one. So it goes through a little chamber into the other? So basically, I think you're just, you're blasting, you're filling up that chamber.

And then just blasting it out. Well, it feels wonderful. And for those who haven't tried it, they should do it. I've tried it and it kind of just hurts for me. But you also got to remember my surgical history. Oh, yeah. I was about to say, oh, yeah, you have such a tight asshole, Matt. Never been penetrated before.

Don't fucking. Yeah. So what? asshole Matt never been penetrated before you don't fucking yeah so what I remember in youth group there was this older counselor that made a comment about someone's like farts he was just like I was a counselor was just an older kid like it was what it was like the difference between a like a tight fart and then like a flappy, just breathy fart. He's like, if you have a flappy, breathy fart, it means your asshole's a little open. And I'm not going to judge you for that, but usually it means something. Some church father figure.

Hey, Ryan, can we talk? You want a nice, tight fart. That means that nothing's been up there. See, you go back and forth between the two and with with absolute ease i have i have a uh i wouldn't say a talent because the talent feels like it's 100% you can call on at any point i i cannot do it at any time i just let the farts happen it's natural a natural talent you know go back to the very first episode of this podcast if if if we if we teleported back to ourselves are recording it and like guys guess what six over six years later

you're on episode 300 and you're like 10 minutes in and you're still talking about farts and shitting i i ended the last podcast with a fart i farted right into the mic and we talked a little after that too but i was like was like, eh, you just cut it. Yeah. Oh, dude. Oh, my. Well, I fully forgot about the era of the podcast where you didn't have, like, the outro music on your computer. So instead of just downloading it, you just put a fart sound for, like, because you would edit the odd ones, and I would edit the even ones.

So all the odd ones for a very long period of time, maybe like at like two 50, two 60, two 70, just every episode just ends with just, was it the same sound every time? Uh, no, I,

it was like this, uh, three hour, not even three hours. It was a compilation of different fart noises and I would just pull from them. Three hours. It wasn't three hours.

That's why I went back on that statement. I wasn't confident in that statement at all. There's that one. There aren't three-hour fart compilations on YouTube, though. There are. There's 10-hour ones. Yes. Which I don't think it's much of a compilation.

I think it's probably like 30 seconds that just loop for 10 hours. You know, there can't be that many. It's like the same 30 seconds, as you said, to like a minute of the same farts, but just looped for 10 hours. as you said, to like a minute of the same farts, but just looped for 10 hours. I don't understand why certain sound effects are so difficult to find a good version of when it's like such a con, like farts. Like if you try to find a fart sound effect,

like on a, like we use a website called SoundSnap and we get a lot of sound effects from there and we have a membership and they have like tens of thousands of sound effects. But just like, it's like every fart sound just sounds awful awful it just sounds like goofy fake cartoon and not like real and it's like i'm looking for something real i think it's because in a foley studio usually you have the tools there to produce the sound on the spot but a fart one you need to eat the right things and have you know everyone's disposition to being able to create farts is different

some people can do it on a whim some people need the right shit so that person would then require to get in that mood and also you can't you can kind of tell what type of fart it's gonna be but you can never really like hone in the exact sound you want that's exactly true it's all you never

actually know you can kind of like you know you kind of you know your brain brain is, is evolved to recognize patterns. We need to set like a little room, like a dark room we can come in and all it is is pressing a button and the mic starts recording. And like, if one of us has a fart, we just go in there, press, like hold down the button and then the moment we click off of the button, it stops. And it puts it into like a, like a vault. Yep. Like it, like an archive thing. Cause we have some pretty good sounding toots yeah well especially you like it might mine aren't mine or nothing to write home about but yours yours have always just been from the beginning just uh i said out of body experience you said was it is it the hennessy no it's more

of it's more of like going back to what you said of like this is our this is a milestone we're doing a live action podcast and we have devolved straight into minutes worth of conversation about farts i'd say a good maybe at least half of it so far so like if it's someone's first time watching the podcast they're like oh it might be because they're gonna start from a lot of people might start Start on this episode. Yeah, the live action stuff. This might be y'all's first episode. And if this is your first episode of the Super Megacast, welcome to the family. Yeah. Is there something that's better when you watch?

It's like it's more physically stimulating when you can see people move and see their facial expressions? Does it take away the bite out of the comedy? Well, you know, they can still listen to audio and they don't have to see us. Because we still upload. It's still the exact same podcast, same microphone setup, same everything. You probably won't even realize

there's cameras here right now. Yeah, well, this is the first time I've sat down to record a podcast since, when did we start doing the? What'd you say? It's been like 51 days since your sciatic shift but I think I was able to sit down still nothing from the MRI?

nope, I even called the ENT today and nothing I'm going back in time to see it's been maybe like a little a little over a month yeah, you've been having to lay down every time we record I can't believe you're actually sitting right now big skulls and big muscles, yeah

imaginary friends gleeking I think was the last one we to lay down every time we record. I can't believe you're actually sitting right now. Big skulls and big muscles. Does it hurt? Imaginary friends. Gleeking, I think, was the last one we put out where I wasn't fucked up. And that came out on 420, which 420 is the day that it all went down. Oh, wow. So ever since 420, you've just been honestly

just fucked. Hey, so have I. But, you know. Different reasons. Exactly. Weed. Oh. Some of the stizzy? Yeah, some of that

sticky icky. Some of that chronic. Damn, I hate that shit. I hate that. Smoke that shit. Smoke that chronic, boy. Oh, God. It feels so good.

Let me get a hit of the two. I do want to get some water and while I'm gone could you update the people on the court case between us and Kevin Federlin

yeah are we allowed to talk about that I mean our lawyer said we could oh okay yeah it's a court case right now it's me and Ryan being sued Are we allowed to talk about that? I mean, our lawyer said we could. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's a court case right now. It's me and Ryan being sued by a... Just looking at me through the door right now.

But there's this whole lawsuit right now with Kevin Federlin, and it's just... It's a mess, you know? Hey, did you ask my coffee, Justin? Would you like it's a mess, you know. Hey, that's my coffee, Justin. Justin, make it a people, this is the first time you'll ever actually get to see Justin on the podcast. I know, he's actually real. He's not just a he's not a third voice we do.

Hi. Look at that one. Right there, Justin. Yeah. Hey, Justin, you want a hit of the stizzy? Yo, Justin, smoke this chronic, dude. Dude, take a hit of the stizzy? Yo Justin smoke this chronic dude Dude take a hit of the stizzy bro Yo hit that chronic Justin Justin hit that fucking chronic You want a hit of the stizzy?

What's wrong with the stizzy? The stizzy life I didn't choose the stizzy life The stizzy life chose me Justin if that If that fucks up the auto focus And the rest of the thing my camera's blurry Justin when you go back into the recording, you're going to see me.

I was eyeing your shorts because I was like, should I pants Justin? Damn it, dude. Well, Justin. But you're not on camera. Well, it would just be for personal enjoyment. I mean. What? Just the shorts, right?

Or everything. Well, sometimes. It all depends. I don't want to make a promise. I've made this mistake before where I've pantsed Ryan in a public setting. At the Grumps office. Yeah, at our place of work. And my cock went.

But it was right in your face. Yeah, no, like. See, now people have to watch the podcast. Weebpants Justin? Justin, I think, are you going to be messing with this footage? Is that what's going on? We're handing it off? He's going to be fiddling around with it.

Justin, for a brief moment, just right there, doesn't he look like if someone did that FaceApp thing where it's the chiseled chin and the sparkly eyes? Yeah, it's the lighting. It shows off your facial structure very nicely. You're glowing, Justin. Skin's looking great, by the way, Justin.

You're choosing one of the worst angles. Justin's choosing an angle where he's taking a picture of himself like this. Slightly below. Which is always a bad angle. That's what every 40-year-old conservative white dude on Twitter, their profile picture is them in their truck. Or just any Uber Eats driver. Yeah, honestly, dude.

Uber Eats driver. What I like about Uber Eats and Postmates is you can actually... Love you, Justin. Bye, Justin. Thanks for the coffee. You can actually view the full resolution of the driver's image on Postmates and Uber. You showed me that, and ever since, I just love fucking saving on whatever they're goofy. They're great, dude, because you click it, and it shows you the full image, and you can just save the image.

And I'm like, this is awesome. And I have a whole collection on my phone of some of the best ones. Is there something where we have to cover up brands or something? Yeah, I don't think so. I don't feel like it. And speaking of brands, how about we cut to some ad reads? Some ad reads? I know that people have been waiting.

Okay, let's go to those ad reads. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process.

Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish, or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com. Only got small amounts of time but want big amounts of flavor? Knorr has got you. Our new Knorr rice cups deliver all the tastes without the prep or wait time. We're talking yummy, creamy, hearty goodness. Choose from loads of delicious Moorish flavors

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Right back. Did you guys enjoy it? With some more funny content and some more stizzies. Yo. A little bit of chronic never hurt a man, you know?

Dude, how are you? You want some stizzy? No, dude, I took, bro, you don't want any more stizzy? After two hits, I was absolutely stizzied out. I am stizzied out

of my mind right now. I love how the first podcast back, it looks like we're like, we're shilling for Monster and hennessy and and then there's like weed vape la la columbus or sorry columbus coffee it's a bay there's no thing over the oh columbus column la columbus because well if it's sp, it's Colombe. True. Isn't that where that thing happened? Huh?

Never mind. Yeah, but I had a great dream. I had a wonderful dream last night. About? Actually, it's because yesterday we were in the other room, and you're like, look at this, and you show me a video of these two little gibbons walking, gibbon monkeys with their tails up.

I had a dream, and this is the first time I've ever had a dream like this, where I got a monkey, and I brought it to the Super Megaplex, and it was one of those little gibbons where they walk with their hands out like this, and like, woo. And I had them,

and I was carrying them around the office, and all of you guys were like, whoa, you brought your monkey. Oh yeah, there he is. Dude, the way they fucking walk. Is that a gibbon? I don't know what that is. I don't know what kind of monkey

I don't even know if this can be seen well probably not well I'm wearing polarized sunglasses so I can't even see your phone screen it's like a bunch of rainbow wait take them off real quick you gotta see this shit try to explain this one it's just a little will you send that to me? it's just a little

Will you send that to me? Yeah, it's like a little Pomeranian puppy And a guy just blows it a little bit with a leaf blower And it just kind of like moves a foot But he doesn't even notice You like it when I send you You want me to start sending you some animal videos? I love animal videos, dude

I've gotten back on the TikTok recently Damn, alright Kesha Stop Remember that song? TikTok, make it rock I was back on the TikTok recently. Damn. All right, Kesha. Stop. Come on. Remember that song? TikTok, make it rock. Gonna blow the speakers up tonight. I'ma fight till we see the sunlight.

TikTok on the clock. Party don't stop. No, no, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. Super mega clip. Matt and Ryan sing Kesha. They have to leave this part in.

10-hour version. And also this part, too, at the end. And now the clip's done. Nope. Now it's done. Whatever clips that I just might end it right there. Now it's done. Yeah, but I had a

monkey and I was like I was carrying around the office and uh I would just let him run free and he would just go like running room to room and uh I remember we had him in the living room and we you had a pack of like fruit mentos and we were like dude let's give him some mentos and uh we gave him like a strawberry mentos and he chewed on it and he was just like like his eyes rolled back in his head and he was having we were like oh he likes it dude he a strawberry Mentos and he chewed on it. And he was just like, like his eyes rolled back in his head and he was having, we were like, oh, he likes it, dude. He likes the Mentos. And then he did pee on the counter.

Like give it a cat nip. He's just like. Yeah. He like, he was like, and I was like, yeah, fuck yeah. And then he did pee on the counter at one part of the dream and it got on. Wasn't me. A piece of paper that was on the counter. And I didn't want you, yes, Shaggy.

I didn't want you guys to seegy i didn't want uh you guys to see that he had done that because i thought that you guys would be mad like you can't bring the monkey to the office anymore so i was trying to clean it up but like when i would clean it it would like respawn like next to it so that was my dream i had about a monkey and honestly i there was one part where i'm carrying around the office and he's hugging me and it actually felt like really good in the dream well like every now and then like I'll be going through TikTok and there'll be an account

where it looks like just like some fucking high schooler and there's just a monkey in like a high schooler's room and it's just like what? and they're just like playing around like it's a pet. How do people get these things? I don't know. I know but like I know the illegal monkey trade is pretty pretty popular but their dad's like an

accountant for like the cartel dude i you want this monkey i love like when cartel dudes have like lions and like cheetahs well dude it's it's in bears oh my but it's uh it's it's usually that's awesome have you seen those videos of like those like like saudi arabian like knights no but these saudi arabian saudi arabian that was that was genius uh this this like saudi arabian like oil mogul like sons were like their dads like an oil mogul or they inherited like billions. And it's just them in the like Dubai penthouse. And they just have like, like,

like a cheetah laying there with like a monkey running around. But isn't like the background to a lot of that is you can't really fucking domesticate a lot of these animals to the extent of like back then, at least what they did. It's not like they bred them. They just took them from the wild. So like they take the cool pictures, but then they just like throw them in a room because they just be be like fucking like it's a leopard it's gonna fucking kill me that that was my impression of a tiger getting upset and if it did that i wouldn't want to i'd

lock in a room too i'm pretty sure like there's no way to legally obtain those animals really unless you're like sanctuary licenses i'm guessing the i promise these saudi billionaire oil billionaires don't have sanctuary licenses okay that's the one i thought you just meant in general i wasn't i wasn't i wasn't uh i guess like zoos like i get do you need like a license to buy exotic animals i mean you must but like how do you go about getting that i bet you i shit you not let's not even look it up on google you and i should watch we bought a zoo and see if we can come back and answer that question. Okay. Because I mean like zoos have to get their animals from somewhere.

Are we actually going to do that or is that just going to be another thing that's like, eh? I guess we'll see in a future episode, right? I guess all of you will. I'm not. I just don't want to commit to anything. Yeah. You know? Also, I've seen it like here and there.

You've seen it? Once. Was it good? I didn't see it all the way through. Oh, by the way. Is that it? Yeah. Okay.

Well, yeah, let's watch. We bought a zoo. With Matt Damon? Wait, what about Zookeeper? That one might be a little more insightful. I saw that one in theaters with my dad. Someone said this on the subreddit or some shit. When someone mentions a shitty 2000s movie that came out, all of a sudden it's like, is it the guy sweating?

It's some fucking meme where essentially the whole thing is like, I always say me. I saw that with my dad in the the theaters because I did I saw every fucking like yeah dude I'm surprised at how many of these like shitty comedy movies you've actually seen like like I like I remember I brought up Wild Hogs once like I saw in theaters Little Man you saw Little Man no what was it called it was Little Man was that the name of the movie yeah when he plays uh Marlon yeah Marlon Brando And he plays the little man That one's great

That's like the same era Like Irvain, a movie Is like White Chicks Yeah Or just even worse Fuck White Chicks, though Yeah, fuck I'm kidding

I don't know, it creeped me out Hey, fuck white women They looked creepy To me in the makeup Actually, that's a little insensitive Huh? You think that's a little insensitive. Huh? You think that's a little insensitive? To me.

Yeah, honestly, they were appropriating. That kind of was not cool. Yeah. You know? They never got in trouble for it. But I do it, and then all of a sudden, oh, everyone on the internet's mad at me for doing it. Well, people don't understand, like, it's like, you know, morals are supposed to be set in place.

There's not supposed to be some double standard that you get by. So I feel like,'s like, you know, morals are supposed to be set in place. There's no, there's not supposed to be some double standard that you get by. So I feel like, and like, you know, I'm, my, my people were disenfranchised. They still are. Yeah. You know, um, the Irish were slaves. Yeah. Did you know that? The Irish were slaves too, you know?

Yeah. And, uh, and my family feels that to this day. too, you know. Yeah. And my family feels that to this day. In fact, because I bring it up at family gatherings. Really? Yeah.

Well, I say, isn't this unfair? Well, I honestly think that if they're allowed to do whiteface in that movie, that we should be allowed to do blackface on the podcast and get away with it. I'm going on record and saying it. You are brave. I guess, well, now, you know, now that it's a video podcast, it's like, well, now clips will just be very easy just to clip. But before I can be like that, I want to state that that was clearly a joke.

This is the first episode back, and it's like I'm looking at visually what people are looking at. It's just like. Oh, yeah, we have a monitor over here. Fucking the Cookie Monster hat, dude. Oh, shit, we've been recording for, there's a timer now. 33 minutes and 55 seconds. Oh, shit, dude.

Except it's, we like, it probably was recording like for a few minutes before we started. Fuck. What? Is this how you felt when your septum was all fucked up? Yeah. I couldn't breathe out of one of my nostrils pretty much. It was just... Well, my nose is actually stuffy right now.

I could try calling the ENT live on the podcast. Yeah, call the ENT, man. See what's going on. They didn't pick up when I called like three hours ago? Why would they? It's a doctor's office. I'm so frustrated with everything going on, dude. Yeah, the Lord's throwing you through the ringer right now.

This is going to suck if it doesn't pick up, dude. You have reached the confidential voicemail for... Oh, it's confidential. Bleep out the first name. Why'd you go to a doctor

that that was his name? I don't think anyone's... I don't think I've heard anyone use that term since like 2003. Oh, it's been a bit. I mean, 2016. Hey!

Nuck it, bro. 2016. That is nice we have a timer now. How's your back? It's all right. Yeah? Oh, yeah. What's that?

An icy hot pack? What are you going to do with it? It's a lidocaine patch? What the fuck? Bro, I don't smoke nicotine. I smoke lidocaine. It's like menthol cigarettes, but better. What are you looking for?

There they are. Oh, but... Is there a fucking pair of scissors deep in your chair? Yeah. The hell? Just in case I need a pair of scissors. Why do you have that, like you instead of like to the side? Like on the table or just next to your chair?

They're underneath you. Keeping them warm? Are they warm? Yeah, they're really warm. Have I kept them warm? Yeah, you have kept them warm. They're pretty warm. This is a live...

Where are you going to put it? On your ass? Where the pain kind of is right now. Nice. Yeah, yesterday you took, I walked into the kitchen as you were, like, had your pants down, putting one on your ass. And then later in the day you took same said menthol ass patch and then tossed it on me.

Right on my chest at the end of a Minecraft Let's Play. Which, I'm excited for people to see that. That big project. Yeah. The Minecraft Let's Play showing off our server.

Yeah, we have our Patreon server. It's pretty cool. Minecraft server on it now and it's pretty epic. It's a lot of fun people on building some really cool stuff. Jake. We're not supposed to bring up

my name. Brian. Ryan. Macintosh. Louis. That was the monkey's name by the way. It was Louis.

In the dream? In my dream, yeah. I remember it was Louis. I think if I had a monkey I'd name it Charles that's a good ass monkey name it fits those like those little

Charles Charlton this is my monkey Charlton Heston dude the fourth I would

like what are the ones that like they have they walk with their hands out like this Gibbons right Gibbons I think so yeah yeah I love how they fucking walk dude that Charles is a great name for a monkey like that Like, what are the ones that, like, they walk with their hands out like this? Gibbons, right? Gibbons, I think so, yeah.

Yeah. I love how they fucking walk, dude. That Charles is a great name for a monkey like that. A lot of monkeys also run, like, if they're trying to make themselves look bigger, they throw their arms up. It's just funny. It's like, ooh-hoo-hoo. Just tossing them up, having a good time. I wish that they were, like, native to California.

Gibbons? Yeah. Parrots are. Rats are. Parrots aren't native. Are there parrots going around? Yeah. They're not native, but like. That's because.

They're here now. Back in like the 1900s. Yeah, but they're here now. Someone's parrot started fucking and now there's parakeets everywhere. They're native now. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean. Because there are a bunch of parrots bred here.

Native is a relative term you know it's like there's well there was always something that was more native than that we're native we're native Americans

yeah we are god damn it coming out the gate strong oh god oh man yeah but uh honestly like think about how different life would be if we, if, like, just, there's a universe out there where in Los Angeles, gibbons are running rampant.

Like, there's places in the world. From, like, traffic signs. Yeah. Covering up the lights, like, on purpose. Causing horrible car accidents. Like, it's like they run out in front of you and you hit them like a deer. That would be devastating. I think that's more sad than hitting a deer.

Because it's bipedal sometimes. Not anymore. Yeah. But it would be very sad. Watching the life leave a monkey's eyes would be probably one of the saddest things I can imagine, honestly. Like Coco the gorilla?

Not a gorilla. I'm talking about monkeys. Gorillas are... You have no sympathy for a dying gorilla? No, they're scary as hell. What about a chimp? Chimps, that's kind of funny. An orangutan? Also funny, but monkeys just sad.

Orangutan or tan? I think it's orangutan. Okay. Why as a kid was it tang? Orangutans. I swear that it just changed one day when we were like 12. It was orangutan, and then all of a sudden everyone's like, oh, it's orangutan. I remember it being orangutan.

Wait, maybe orangutan is a type of orangutan? Is that a thing? Orang Tang wheels. Or the Tang the drink? Delicious drink. I need a little bit of Tang in me right now. After smoking that chronic, a little bit of Tang would really help me out. My chest, my pectoral muscle has been twitching the whole podcast,

and I don't know if anyone's noticed, but it looks like my heart's beating incredibly fast. It tans I don't know where tang I think tan is like the family right orangutan and then maybe an orangutan refers to like a single okay I found something I don't know I didn't find anything it's a bullshit website what's the difference askthedifference.com what is the difference? I hate going to a bullshit website just it's like it's like I want to see something

I click it and I'm like ah it's bullshit it's just it's a bunch of shit it's not what I wanted to see I'm not really getting any solid

I think it's orangutan yeah orangutan I think it's like a southern like it's an orangutan it's a cool ass name

orangutan it's an orangutan yeah orang's a cool ass name. Orangutan. It's an orangutan. Yeah, orangutan. Orangutan. They're like one of my favorite monkeys. I love orangutans. They're kind of creepy to me. Why?

They just seem like old, like chill. They do seem like wise older monkeys. Yeah. They're like the elders. The elders or the wizards. Yeah. Well, what are the ones that have the weird thing right here on their face? Isn that yeah yeah that that's what freaks me out what is that their face it's like it's like there's just some extra face there that doesn't need to be there that's not on like

any other primate well gibbons have a little extra uh arm there you know yeah the benefit of a gibbon just like the the long the extra face is to the benefit of the orangbon just like the extra faces to the benefit of the orangutan it wouldn't be an orangutan without that that's true that is absolutely true was that Don that just walked by he walked by like a dead space monster I saw

out of the corner of my eye just like a just like a shape there should have been like a piano as he walked by. Uh, man, but... Should we have some more ad reads? Yeah, we probably should. And I can go walk around a little bit?

I can go piss. I can walk a little bit? I got a lot of piss in these balls to get out. And put those Crocs on. See that? I see it. Oh, yeah. It's going to work, baby.

Is it? I think so. It's going to work, baby. Is it? I think so. It's like menthol cigarettes for your leg. Fucking cut to the ads. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care.

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We're back. Welcome. Hey, yeah. Welcome. we're back welcome hell hey yeah welcome welcome back from the uh the ads i know that's everyone's favorite part of the podcast no whenever they're um whenever they're mentioned in um like reddit threads it's always positive. People love them. What people really like too is the episodes when there's more ads because it means the episode is longer by default. Which isn't happening now. Well, in the audio version, who knows where they put them? Yeah, you know, when it's on like Spotify and Apple Podcasts and shit, we don't put the ads in.

We record them, send them, and they put the ads in for us. So I don't know what order they go in or at what point they play. Well, they play when we say let's cut the ad breaks. I mean, that's where it goes. But, you know, other than that, I don't really know. And I don't really give an F. Nuck it, bro. You know, I don't really give an F because, you know,

if they don't like the ads Then they can uh They can not listen You know Or they can just go Patreon Five bucks a month And you can get it ad free This is Justin's kazoo

The fuck Right It doesn't work Oh yeah I forgot You don't just blow into a kazoo You have to hum. Let me try this sucker up.

You got to hum. Just hum. That's great. That sounds like one of the very first Chris Chan videos. Um, yeah. You got any plans this weekend? I'd like to go to Corn Man. Hey, I didn't get to go last time. We can do tonight. I would love to do tonight. I'd love to go to Corn Man. Hey, I didn't get to go last time. We can do tonight.

I would love to do tonight. I'd love to go to Corn Man tonight. Because Rav was thinking... Rav? Well, I brought the idea up and he sounds it. The white Macklemore? Yeah. He seemed to like the idea.

We go to round one before Corn Man and then leave round one to go to Corn Man. And we can talk about our plans. I walk around most of the time that's great i was there like a week and a half ago i had a blast that's great i went bowling is that the one in burbank aren't there uh uh it's not as good as i was about to say they're kamikaze rooms. Their karaoke rooms? I mean, I get anything... Their fucking whatever their kamikaze rooms. Anything could be a kamikaze room if you make it.

Are there like only two there at that location? Yes, and the wait for like... Last time I went, I went with some friends and I played pool. And I bowled. And the wait for each one of them was like an hour each just to like get a pool table and then to bowl. So we like left

and we walked to this is really good burger place that's like a walking distance. Five guys? No, it's a Wendy's. Oh, wow. But they just opened this

like smash burger place right next to round one in Burbank. It's fucking delicious. It's really, really good. You'd like it. They were like, you got to try this place, man. And I was like, okay. And I tried it one in burbank it's fucking delicious it's really really good you'd like it they were like you gotta try this place man i was like okay and i tried it man and it was pretty good see boy a boy loves his apple pan yeah of course he does but a smash burger like a like a real like a real greasy type of good ass like like with the grease like crisps

the the edges. The best. I love a good smash burger. Although I've been to the Apple Pan and been disappointed sometimes. And I love a little burger after a smash. You know? People are going to have to now do a fist bump counter from this point on. Because now they're going to be able to see it.

They're going to be like, I have a... Or Justin. I'm kidding. Justin. Justin, you don't do that with the podcast. That was like when we edited for Markiplier

and Markiplier would be like towards the end of the video, be like, oh, Matt, by the way, put a counter in how many times I've sworn. And I'm like, okay, when I have to go

rewatch the video and if I got it off by one, which I did on multiple occasions because honestly, dude, like swear words are just so normal to me. You know, I just, I use those little suckers so much. I don't even notice it.

I don't notice it. Yeah. I'm talking to like my parents with my mom. I don't care as much with my dad. I I'll catch myself. I'm like, I just don't know what the fuck. I'm sorry. Same.

My mom, I can, I mean, I say whatever I want to my mom and she just has to deal with it. My dad, on the other hand, though, I feel a a little bit I feel a little bit uh I feel I feel more morally judged if I say fucking in front of my dad or if I am fucking in front of my dad oh your dad's a pussy yes and basically uh I feel like I could beat your dad in a fight I think so too honestly dude maybe not not when he could no he's he's always been like a weak man weak minded too

definitely weak minded and honestly just weak in all aspects your Dale is the perfect example of if you don't stand for something

you'll fall for anything yep yeah exactly that's a good way to describe Dale and honestly mostly because he can't stand anymore well for anything. Yep. Yeah, exactly. That's a good way to describe Dale. And honestly, mostly because he can't stand anymore.

Well, I was about to say I think I could take him in a fight. I mean, that kind of feels like cheating, but... I don't know.

Just kick the stool out from under him. You know? Well, when he's not in his wheelchair. Yes. Yeah. Because he likes that stool.

He has that stool that he painted. It's got the little seashells he painted on it yeah it's nice does he still paint yeah he does i mean that's his like profession he still paints i commissioned him to paint something yes you probably fake name damn it oh my god dude i've been racking my brain what to get you for your birthday i should get a an original piece by dale Watson. Of just the Confederate flag. You saluting the... God damn it.

Stop. Who is this? It's a Discord message and my phone's unlocked for some reason. It'll be you... No, it'll be you saluting the Confederate flag. Okay. With tears running down your face. Because of how beautiful it is to you.

It stands for freedom. You know what the funny thing about that is? It stands for literally the opposite of freedom. It stands for... It's for freedom! It's literally so you can have slaves. That's why they go to heritage. Yeah. Because they're like, well, the freedom one's kind of

easily... their freedom to own slaves that's the real freedom what have we become as a nation ryan a bunch of pussies i'll tell you that right now uh joe biden's in la today really yeah he's joe biden's probably only a matter of miles from us recording this right now the the leader of the free world cares about that like fake bomb threat or not bomb shooting right yeah i saw that someone texted that to me they were like someone that worked for like the suicide hotline yeah i mean it turned out to be a fake a hoax that's a good prank dude no substance yeah um like the people who call in bomb threats to school did you ever call in a bomb threat to school yeah

did you once yeah did you I really didn't want to take a test I didn't expect them to shut the whole school down all day

did it work no I didn't fucking call a bomb threat into school Ryan I don't know I'm just asking you could get away with it

you were a kid what are they gonna do arrest you they're gonna FBI's gonna come in and arrest you as an adult they take that stuff

very seriously like if there's one thing they take seriously about kids, it's... Statute of limitations. Well, they can't arrest me for it now. No, they can't. But back then... So, have you ever called in a bomb threat?

Not to a school. Or not to my school, at least. No, I've called them in many places. Just not ever to school. I was too nervous I'd get detention for that one. That's like... Did you pull a fire alarm?

But that's the thing is do they act like... I don't think they actually take it that seriously, which is what sucks. Like, well, they'll take it seriously to catch like the kid if it's like a prank. But when there's like actual like shit online that they like want to shoot up the school like they don't really

seem to take it that seriously yeah well I'm guessing because they see so many people act this way yeah it's really

if you arrested everyone who acted sus yeah might have to call an emergency meeting for that one there might not be any more traffic in LA

is all I'm saying you know what dude honestly Super Mega fans be wiling. They do. And y'all have been supporting us for 300 podcast episodes. How many of you goobers have listened from the day we released the first episode of the podcast? Like, we dropped it and you're like, ooh, a new podcast.

And you listened to it and now you're still listening or watching. That's tier one. Now say, I'm tier one, who's in now say i'm tier one baby and now tier two are people who have listened to every single episode i have met people you can say i'm a i'm a tier two mother effer so you got your two phrases that you can say and then tier three matt what's tier three someone who just started recently like within the past this year who started who discovered us this year? Maybe tier three is someone that has been listening for over four years.

Okay, over four years. They've been listening since at least we recorded it at the Grumps office. Okay. And they found us through Game Grumps. And then tier four are people that are just now finding it through Creator Clash or something. Yeah, and y'all just go tier three and tier four you don't have a funny little phrase no i mean it's nothing to really be proud of tier four is what again like like 2022 fans like people that found out about us through uh actually creator clash or the brindan frazier lawsuit tier three doesn't get a special phrase they just go tier three no exclamation point and just tier four my name Jeff.

Or they love Tsumaga so much that they're crying tears for tier four. Oh, true. See what I'm saying? Yeah. How would they represent that? Take a picture of themselves crying? No, they can't post pictures into the comment section.

Do you think? No, they're never going to do that on YouTube. They might, you know. I don't know. Honestly, I can see them making it more like Twitter. Honestly. They have stories.

They have like a feed. I mean, they've always had like an updating, a feed that you could update, but it's set up to be more like a Twitter feed. Yes, yeah. Well, I wonder if like

they're ever going to let you, because Reddit just randomly was like, oh, you can put pictures in the comments now. I was like, what? What the F?, I wonder if they're ever going to let you, because Reddit just randomly was like, oh, you can put pictures in the comments now. I was like, what? What the F? So I wonder if YouTube will ever do that. And if they did, we predicted the future. Yeah, we did.

Yeah, we've done that a lot. I predicted the Switch. You did predict the Switch. There's a clip of it online. And we actually predicted a lot of shit on the podcast that just ended up coming true. But I think it might be an example of confirmation bias to get scientific here because are we really predicting things or are we just talking so much that we're bound to say

some things that are going to come true? That. Yeah. But it's more goofy and fun if we say we predicted this stuff. What was the one? There was one, though, that we talked about someone and they died that day. That's happened multiple times.

Do you think at all, do you have any even, not even a like a solid belief, but maybe like a bit of skepticism that like maybe there is like a sixth sense that we don't understand yet that like transcends like physical bounds and we're not able to scientifically understand it or prove it i don't know it's because i don't know i haven't researched like that type of shit so i wouldn't know and so i just kind of throw it up into a big bubble of stuff i don't know because then if i did research it and i still had questions then i would feel like i'd be able to be like, hmm. I have these maybe like once every three months, I'll have a day where you have to shit. Wrap it up in a second. Do you need me to help wipe this time?

No, I think I got it. You didn't get it all last time. If you could just run the bidet. Okay. So I can just put all of my focus into pushing. But yeah, I have these days where I'll have a million coincidences in one day. And then I won't have any more. But it's always in one day.

Like yesterday, for example, I was driving back from the gym to the Super Megaplex after working on my muscles. Show those babies real quick. Oh! Oh, shit! Now flex that cock. Woo! That is good and veiny. Yeah veiny throbbing pulsating but basically uh i had my spotify playlist on shuffle and uh a smashing pumpkin song starts not even like half a second after i look up and see a smashing pumpkins billboard on shuffle. Just, and I was like, whoa, what the fuck?

And then another, and then I was over here and then Rav said, let's get it to me. As I was typing, let's get it to somebody via text. Shit like that's like interesting because there is no way to place it. But I feel like most coincidence now that I find comes to me having a conversation about something and seeing it like on TikTok or on Instagram,

but in the place of an ad because our phones still listen to us. I think that's like a very like, yes, this happens. We've just accepted that. Yeah. Isn't that kind of creepy? It went from, can you, look at this. I said this and then it showed me an ad.

Do you think they're listening? And it's like, oh, well, they're listening. Yeah, they are. They're listening. You know, there's probably some uh some fbi agent right now laughing his ass off listening to this podcast there's got to be one person that works for the fbi that's a fan of the super mega cast that listens right one i'm sure there's at least one person that works for the fbi they probably aren't allowed to go in the comments and say oh i work for the fbi maybe

you are i don't know fbi mega heads reveal yourself just say you you work for the FBI in Minecraft. Okay, yeah. I mean, well, they also don't need a state federal bureau of investigation. They could be female body inspector. This is going to be a really good poop. Okay. Well, we started strong. Let's end it strong, Ryan. I don't have to end it now.

I can feel it. Oh, well. It's like one of those you can feel in your lower back first. Yeah, honestly, as a surprise for the ending of episode 300, we're going to get a GoPro POV inside the toilet

of Ryan taking a shit. Could you imagine if we actually... Could you imagine if we actually... How long would that stay up before it gets just taken down like someone would have to at least just like listen to the whole thing and like or watch it and be like wait no way they're not gonna I mean they'd be one of the first people to see it

and they'd be like would that make it through the review process yeah I think so dude if it's like an hour long video and it's two dudes talking I don't think anyone's gonna manually watch it and I don't know if the computers would even pick up. I don't even know if they'd be able to tell what they're looking at.

I mean, it took a bit for Logan Paul's video of a suicide victim hanging from a tree to get taken off of YouTube. And I don't even know if YouTube took it down or if he privated it first. I forget what the story was. All I know is I remember it being up for a bit because i saw it when i was at home and i was pissed and i was driving uh downtown columbia to go see some friends because i was visiting home at the time and i was like oh we're gonna all fucking like rant about this uh and i got to his place and i tried to show it to him i showed it to him then we tried to watch it again and it was taken down. So fucked, man.

Well, at least he'll be president in like a decade and Jake Paul will be Secretary of Defense. Jake Paul is a hero. Oh, shit. Well, speaking of oh shit, should we get that GoPro fired up and charged?

Yeah, yeah. I'm just, I'm getting to the GoPro app right now. Yeah, it's all set up. right now oh yeah it's all set up sick well like it's been set up for all the guests

oh really oh I've left it running yeah okay we set up for that one prank that one time on Rav but then I left it going

have a some babes coming over later to the office oh shit uh huh knock it okay poop or fart

don't yeah I got it okay poop or fart don't yeah I got it okay alright I'll wrap it up then go do your thing and um thank you for watching episode 300

of the cast that's right baby 300 can you believe that can you this is actually miserable

sitting here after you did that over here. This camera can't see me anymore. You sure? I think it can see part of you. Check real quick. See, Matt's going to check the camera.

What does it see? I see like two-thirds of you. Okay. I don't see your face, though. Not even when I lean in like this? Well, probably, yeah. I don't want your face though not even when I lean in like this well probably yeah I don't want to get back up though

okay but guys thank you so much for tuning in go check out our Patreon you get these episodes without the ads and now you can get the video version

on Patreon without the ads not just the audio so guys thanks and we'll see you next time and um anything to

anything to say, Ryan? Bye. Bye. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20

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