supermegashow - EP 308 - The Hand Towel Incident (ft. abelina sabrina)

Episode Date: August 12, 2022

Sabrina joins the boys for champagne and dry salad mix. Get started with Curology just like I did with a free 30-day trial at Curology.com/SUPER. Just pay $5 for shipping and handling. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE, go to MintMobile.com/supermega.  Sign-up for a Chime Checking Account only takes two minutes and doesn’t affect your credit score. Get started at Chime.com/super. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/supermega. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. This NHL season, get more excitement out of every slap shot with FanDuel, North America's number one sportsbook. You can bet on everything from the money line to over-unders to which player will net the first goal. Make your picks and assemble a same game parlay with FanDuel Sportsbook, home of the SGP.

Plus, with FanDuel's quick payouts, you can get paid faster than a breakaway. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official partner of the NHL. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Well, well, well, well, well. Welcome back to Super Megacast. Another episode. Yeah, 307.

We're still here. Sorry, I actually just like jumped into it without even asking if you guys were ready. Are you guys, are you ready? I mean, we're ready now.

Is it happening? It's happening right now. There's no going back from starting the podcast, unfortunately. So we already started. I'm ready. Okay, yeah, there you go.

There we go. See? I'm going to be fiddling. No, I'm not going to be fiddling with this because my finger gets raw after a couple. You got to be careful. Switch to your nail. Or become like an avid smoker.

You just get a nice callus, which makes it easier. There you go. Did you have one? Right there? Really? Well, we have a special. Enough about smoking. We have a special guest today.

The one and only. Wonderful. Please introduce yourself. Hey, I'm Abelina Sabrina. You can call me Sabrina. It's like Amelia Bedelia. I like that. Amelia Bedelia?

Who's that? What? You don't know who Amelia Bedelia is? No, you know who Amelia Bedelia is. Wait, seriously? It's like an old kids book, huh? Oh, it's a book! It's like a children's series where it's like she's really stupid, and I'm not calling you stupid

I'm just saying they'll be like she's like the maid for this house and they'll be like, Amelia Bedelia, draw the drapes and then she'll sit down and draw them on a piece of paper Was there a book series about a very rude girl? Junie B. Jones? Junie B. Jones!

Yes, of course what a bitch do you know Juniper Jones did you not read these books these children's books no they sound familiar

you read Captain Underpants I remember Captain Underpants so Captain Underpants is known Super Diaper Baby do you remember that one I remember Super Diaper Baby that one was fucking awesome

I read that one a lot Anansi the Spider Nazi the Spider no Anansi Anansi Spider Anansi Anansi the Spider Anansi the spider? Nazi the spider? No, Anansi. A Nazi spider? Anansi the spider? It's an African bedtime story.

I don't think I read that one. There's a spider, there's little spider children, and they all almost die or something. Oh, Charlotte's Web. It's close, but it's Anansi. It sounds like you're saying it's Anansi. And also, Anansi's not much better because Anansi just sounds like nonce, It's a nonce. It sounds like you're saying it's a nonce. And also, nonce is not much better because nonce just sounds like nonce, which is probably my favorite British slur.

Don't say that. Stop it. You're a bit of a nonce. I'm a bit of a nonce myself. Do you know what nonce means? Nonce? Like Nancy? No, N-O-N-C-E.

It's like, you fucking nonce. You're nonce. It's a British swear word. What does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? Oh. Yeah. Oh, I thought they just call him pedo.

They do, but nonce is also. You're a pedo. Also, maybe bleep when I say that just so it doesn't get picked up by the system. That wouldn't be fine. Bleep nonce? No, no, no. Not nonce. Nonce is fine.

I'm saying when I said what it means. Oh. Because, you know like the the transcription system be like oh what's that and pedo

we could be talking about like pedialyte or feet you know because it's isn't that weird though like a stem for foot yeah

podiatrist it's like a foot doctor pediatrics right or or peed like pee like you peed your pants yeah I always make it down to my? Or peed. Like pee? Like you peed your pants?

Yeah. I always make it down to my feet. Like peed. I can't remember the last time I peed my pants. It's been a bit. It's been a bit. I don't remember it. Jim did it a couple years ago.

What? He was drunk. Maybe this isn't my story to tell. Maybe it's not my story to tell, but he was basically just trying to get into his apartment and the door was locked and he had to pee so bad. I saw the picture. It actually, it was.

He took a picture? Yeah, it's like one of your Sims. I remember those moments. When you don't let your Sims use the bathroom and it just like pisses. Yeah. But the thing is, like, if you're a guy, can't you just like, I'm not going to make it. Let me just whip it out and go over here. Can't you just do that?

Yeah, but he's in an apartment complex. Yeah, but he could have gone like what we did when we had to go pee really bad on Hollywood Boulevard, we could have gone he could have gone behind a dumpster somewhere. Yeah. Which is what we did. I'm still scared about that. Why? Like still to this day. There's some security footage out there. I mean, this is an admission, technically.

They can't, well the Statue of Limitations probably is passed by now. But that was at least that was the night we went and saw Tim Allen. Also, it's a comedy podcast and I was joking. Yeah, exactly.

In a video game. Yeah. In Minecraft. We saw him in real life. We saw Tim Allen do standup live. The first time our editor Justin was visiting us, we took him surprise trip to, uh,

the laugh factory where we saw Tim Allen do his conservative standup. And it was tiptoe around the N word a bit, but he just said it. And it was, uh, hooting and hollering. I was, I was, conservative stand-up, and it was... Tiptoe around the N-word a bit. But he just said it, and it was hooting and hollering. I was clapping and laughing, and I was having a great time. What was his thing of calling California? He called it... The People's Republic of California. That's it.

The People's Republic? Yeah. Like comparing California to China. I'm like, Tim, you live here too. You're paying taxes here too, brother. He was wasted. He was so... For his set?

Oh, yeah. He was fucking gone. He was off his rocker. He was slurring a little bit. Like his words or like slurs? Well, both. Both. He was slurring his slurs.

Nice, dude. Yeah, no, basically he... All of his jokes were just like, so what's with this PC bullshit and everyone's like woo wait isn't he the Santa Claus and Buzz Lightyear and no I was about to say Maynard that's literally the cable guy Tim Allen's gotta be someone else

right no he's uh he's the Santa Claus he's Buzz Lightyear home improvement yeah yes yeah but I don't think that's like uh it's famous cocaine smuggler. Oh, that's actually him. Smuggler? Yeah, he got arrested in the 70s.

You've never seen the classic? He has a really cool stash. The classic photo of him. The mugshot of him after he got arrested. Juniper Jones, Tim Allen getting arrested for cocaine. I thought that was Billy Mays. Billy Mays probably also had something to do with cocaine. That's what I'm thinking.

Billy Mays looks like his partner on Home Improvement. Yeah, yeah. Check this out. Al, right? How much cocaine? He had a lot of cocaine on him, though, like a trafficking quantity, right? I'm showing a picture of Tim Allen, Sheriff's Department, Kalamazoo. Kalamazoo? This is Kalamazoo. Kalamazoo?

This is Kalamazoo. It's the type of place you get busted for cocaine. It's Kalamazoo, Michigan. Kalamazoo. I like that. Michigan. Then he turned his life around. Clearly.

And became the Santa Claus. Smoking around kids, apparently. Well, he said that he hates kids. Kids. And he hates all the movies he's done. Like, he hates Buzz Lightyear. He hates... Wait, actually? Yeah. He hates the Santa Claus. He hates the Santa Claus? Yep.

Well, it's more like he just hates kids. Oh, fuck. His whole thing was, he's like, they'd come over and I'd have to pretend to be Santa Claus. You know, and then they'd turn the corner and see me smoking a cigarette. Well, he's told this one on Late Nights, the classic, like, I'd be smoking a cigarette as Santa Claus, and kids would think I'm actually him. He ruined Santa Claus for a lot of little kids.

Yeah. But he made Santa Claus for a lot more. For many more, yes. So that's the important thing, right? Isn't that good? That's based on a true story. Give and take. Life's all about give and take.

Was the Santa Claus also your guys' sexual awakening? No, that was Pink's. The Pink's music video for you. No, not... What was it? I'm coming out, so you better get this party started. And the song that got me, that made my brain go, huh? Was when she was like, you'll be kissing my...

Oh, yep, made me go, huh? It was like, when you'll be kissing my ass. And I was like, kissing Pink's butt? That's not legal. Naked buttocks? For me, it was a character on The Simpsons, but I don't need to go into details on that one. Which one? A character that only appears in one episode.

So not... No, no, no. No, not what you think. It was just a sexy lady on The Simpsons when I was like in like third grade you don't want to give this away no I don't the bunny lady no this is this is personal to me I you can bleep it out Luke I just want to know no I want to know no no I told you about pain an animal or a person it's a person it wasn't an animal is it based on a real pair was a guest star it wasn't a guest star no it's just just character. Why can't you say it? I don't want to get into it.

We've been best friends for years. I'll talk to you about this later, man. I just don't want to get into it. I just know it's going to... Is it a bad look for you? Yeah, it's going to start a thing. And I don't want to start any memes or any... Well, I think now we all know.

No, it's nothing like illegal or bad. It's just embarrassing. Yeah, okay. Well, see, now you're doing the thing where it's like, if I don't say it, it looks like it's even worse. I'm going to assume it's going to be like one of the aliens with the tentacles. Sure. Yes.

That's it. It's worse than that? No, that's it. That's it. That's got to be it. How is Tim Allen your sexual awakening? Oh, no, not Tim Allen. Ew. Oh. No. Oh, just Santa Claus. That's it. That's got to be it. How is Tim Allen your sexual awakening? Oh, no, not Tim Allen. Ew.

Oh. No. Oh, just Santa Claus? No. No. Well, no. Bernard, the elf. Oh, Bernard the elf.

Oh, yeah. Right? He's a sexy little dude. Is it because he took control of the situation? Yeah, like he had to teach Santa Claus, like, all right. Yeah, he's kind of in charge. When you see someone come in and boss around

your boss, it's like, we need that here. That's what Jim does. Yeah, that's why Justin's acting the way around us that he is.

He sees power in all the wrong places. Yeah, he does. He's trying to climb that fucking ladder in the super mega. He's trying to climb

our ladder. Yeah. And you know, he wouldn't hesitate to step on our hands on the way up. Our sexual ladder. Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

We got a big sexual ladder here at Supermega. What does the ladder look like? Like two penises with other penises as the pegs. It's not really like a, it's not like a smart or like witty. It's like the most basic. It is what it is. Okay. Is it hard or are they flaccid penises? Well, it starts it's like the most it is what it is okay is

it hard or are they are they flaccid penis well it starts blasted in a minute gets that's how you get it's it's you get two stories it's lonesome at the top we know that yeah cuz we're all so rich and successful? You know how it is. That's what's up. What happens when you get to the top? You never found out yet. Nice, dude. Now that the podcast is on video. We've been fist bumping like crazy. It's like six times this episode already.

Someone's going to make a compilation of all the fist bumps. We fist bump so much now. Luke, on the next fist bump, you have to zoom in. Which one are you going to zoom in on, Luke? Technically, Sabrina's because it was the very next one. I hope that in between this compilation, they put in that clip of Joe Biden fist pumping that guy from Saudi Arabia. Oh, yeah.

I saw that. I don't remember his full name. The crown prince. Yeah. Yeah, the crown prince. Joe goes up to him and he's like... Yep. Put that in the compilation, Luke.

Speaking of our president, Joe Biden, well, our fake president, our real president, we all know. DT. But he has COVID. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that nuts?

He might have already died from COVID. Come on. But we found out today he has COVID and that's... So should we do like a in memoriam of Joe Biden? Just in case he does die? Just in case he does die. Do you have anything you want to say about him? I just hope they do like a weekend at Bernie's type thing with him if that's the case.

I think that's what they've been doing. True. I think that's what they've been doing. Amen. Am I on the Steven Crowder show? Yeah, I think you are. I'm glad you came on the podcast because this is probably the second closest show to Steven Crowder's Ladder with Crowder show. We share a large audience with him.

Is Sam Seder going to pop out? Well, we do have a surprise for you. Is it Sam Seder? Oh, no. It's a pretty great surprise. A fucking nightmare. Why don't you reach under your seat? I've got a little surprise for you.

Oh, like it's already here? Uh-huh. It's a salad. It's a salad. You got me a salad. Yeah. Each guest gets a surprise. And we thought, why not?

Where? In the other room. In the dressing room? It's like a cereal box with a treat the dressings hidden inside the salad Wait do I have a salad? Do you want some ranch? You just like the lettuce? I'm glad you like our gift, but Do I love lettuce?

Okay, yeah gift but that's so nice before we you drop this dude i love lettuce community challenge okay yeah i'm gonna be honest like a fucking guinea pig get in there dog i do not appreciate lettuce on its own that much really i love dousing it in some ranch or something i love lettuce on its own man i like spinach on its own it's like drinking water that you chew yeah yeah that's like celery too lettuce has like, this lettuce is kind of sweet. I like that. I can't continue the podcast if you're going to be wearing that with our background. I'm kind of blending in. I wanted to bring it up. Oh yeah, dude. I'm blending

into the background. Just continue the conversation. I'll be back shortly. I'm going to go get you something else. Please. Give me something. Go into our vast closet of shirts and bring me something to wear on the podcast. Have fun, buddy. Lettuce Give me something. Go into our vast closet of shirts and bring me something to wear on the podcast. Oh. Oh.

Hey, have fun, buddy. Okay. Lettuce is pretty fucking good. I could eat like a whole head of lettuce. Go for it. That's what you're going to do until Ryan comes back. You're just going to mow down. Well, I don't think you're going to finish it by the time Ryan gets back at that point.

Watch me. People get very upset if you chew into the microphone. Oh, sorry. I've seen people. No, no, no. You're fine. I'm doing it right now. Some people, though, it really like it.

It's like a like it sets something off, like some primal rage deep inside. I hate chewing noises by like people. Animals go for it. I could listen to my dog chew on food all day. Or like those dog ASMR videos where they try vegetables. People eating. I hate you. I want to murder you.

Sitting at dinner and it's silent and I just hear my dad. I'm like, I'm going to punch him in the face. I love him, but. You guys don't like watch TV or something while you eat? Well, we don't eat together at all anymore because I'm 26 on the other side of the country. But in high school, he'd be sitting there eating and it would be silent sometimes. He'd be like, son, let's turn off the TV.

I think red will pop with the purple. I think red will pop. No, no. Ryan? Uh-oh. We can't match? Can we both wear red? I don't want to... Should I go change? No, I I don't want to Seems like a different Should I go change? No

If you're going to wear red I just don't want to Upstage you Should I grab something else? No I'll wear this Okay Just a red shirt? Yeah

Does it have anything on it? I won't even look at What's on it Surprise shirt I'll just put it on Yeah I don't want to see it. Did you pick a good one, Ryan?

It's just a red shirt. Just a red shirt? Okay. God damn it, dude. Steven Universe? Really? Because now there's just going to be clips and screenshots of me, and it's going to look like I'm actually just wearing a fucking...

I heard it's a good show. ...undersized seat, like, ill-fitting Steven Universe shirt. Isn't that your favorite show? It's one of them, but. Yeah. It's also, the funny thing about, I've never seen Steven Universe, but I always laugh at the fucking logo because it's literally just the communist flag of Vietnam. Yeah.

It's the exact same thing. What's wrong with Vietnam, Matt? No, nothing's wrong with Vietnam. Communist Vietnam. What's wrong with communist Vietnam? Vietnam is communist still's wrong with Vietnam. Communist Vietnam. What's wrong with communist Vietnam? Vietnam is communist still. What? Good for them.

I thought we won. We did. They just stayed communist. Look, this is the Vietnamese flag. Yeah? You're wearing it. It's the same thing. It's red with a yellow star And that's the Steven Universe

Fucking I like it Yeah I So if you're embarrassed about it Being a Steven Universe thing You can just say It's the communist Vietnam flag

Yeah but it has Steven Universe on it And says Trademark 2017 Cartoon Network So that's an official shirt? I guess so Why would they put that though

Like you feel like They'd be like It's awful They wouldn't get the design They're probably like Legally required to This is Like a legal I'm wearing this You should put that though? Like you feel like. They feel like it's awful. They wouldn't get the design. They're probably like legally required to. This is. Like a legal. I'm wearing this.

You should put that like in the back. Yes. Show my support of the Viet Cong. Of communists. Yeah. The Viet Cong specifically. Right. Charlie.

So. Matt is communist confirmed. Yeah. I think we all knew that sis. Just kidding. Let's go to ad breaks. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain.

It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish, or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps, Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that.

Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. What wonderful ad reads those were. Those ad reads were fantastic. Thank you, Sabrina. Thank you so much. And we have another surprise. While we were doing the ad reads, the champagne showed up at our doorstep. I put this shirt on in between the break, forgot I was wearing it.

Well, why didn't you keep the shirt that I chose? I don't support Vietnam, Ryan. What? Matt! We fought a war with them. Why would I support them? I think it's more about the Steven Universe thing. I think it's the Steven Universe thing. It's the Steven Universe thing. Sure, whatever you want.

That's a cute shirt. I didn't even read it. I put it on. I saw the word Cummies and I put it on and then I went to go show my ID to get the champagne. That's what it says? You were out there with me. You didn't realize either. We're both standing there and I'm like, you guys are like, hello?

Looks at my ID and I'm just standing there in this fucking shirt. What's it say? Just me and my daddy hanging out. I got pretty hungry, so I started to pout. Is this from the last mail video? Yeah, it's from the most recent mail video. He asked if I was down for something yummy.

I asked Hank Hill voice, what? Yeah, it's from the most recent mail video. He asked if I was down for something yummy. I asked Hank Hill voice, what? And he said he'd give me his cummies. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was a good Hank Hill. Thank you.

My dad's voice is not anything like Hank Hill, but when I do an impression of my dad, it's always that because it's like the same energy, you know? The voice we do for my stepdad and your dad are about the same. It's always Hank Hill's voice. Jim does sound more like Hank Hill. Jim, not employee Jim. My stepdad Jim. He really is like, come on, boy.

Yeah, he does sound like that. He's red. People talk like that? For real? Mm-hmm. Okay, Ron. Okay, pussy boy. The fact that he called you pussy boy.

That's not real. Yeah, he would call Ryan pussy boy. Why? Because he was a pussy boy. Because I was a pussy boy, I guess. Oh, okay. Well, put it that way. It's because Ryan got so much pussy when he was younger.

Oh. He's like, hey, pussy boy. Yeah. That's pussy boy right there. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Go pussy boy. Are we- You want boy right there. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Go pussy boy. Are we- You want one of my glasses?

Are we drinking it out of the brown bag? Yep. Champagne out the brown bag. I got- Is this some nice room temperature champagne? No, it's actually- Is it? It is room temperature.

I thought it was cold for some reason. We got the cheap stuff, then we got the nice stuff. Okay. Are they both room temperature? Yeah. Okay, perfect. I feel like- People usually put ice.

For the nice stuff- You're not supposed to chill some wines, right? Some of them are meant to be warm. That is true. Is that the cheap one? No, this is- Which one do you think's the cheap one, Ryan? I don't know.

That one had a pretty little shiny- The one in the brown paper bag or the one in the fucking box? They came from the same place. They came from a very cheap liquor store, so this was the nicest champagne they had at the liquor store. How much was that, Matt? I used my own money. I didn't use Super Mega money. Don't worry. That was $13. This was $90.

Alright. Will we be able to taste the difference? Yes. I will say expensive champagne is really good. Really? I've never had it. Last time say expensive champagne is really good. Really? Yeah. I've never had it. Last time I had champagne was at Disneyland. How? Because they have places where you can they have certain areas in the park where they serve alcohol. In California Adventure?

Or did you get into like the secret spots in Disneyland? Not the secret spots. I was He said there would never be cigarettes. No, they're smoking areas, I'm sure. They took them out now. They're outside the parks. There used to be. There used never be alcohol at Disneyland. He said there would never be cigarettes. No, there's smoking areas, I'm sure. They took them out now. They're outside the parks. There used to be.

There used to be. When I worked there as the characters, sometimes you would have to walk by the smoking section and the smoke would get stuck in your head and you would just be like, have to breathe it the whole time. They have vaping sections though, right? Do they? Well, I don't know if vape is...

It's not harmful to the worms. Wait, wait, wait. Secondhand harmful. I don't know how to phrase that. Are you spreading false propaganda bullshit about cigarettes again? From the tobacco corporations that want to... The big tobacco wants to take down big vape. Little vape.

That's me. Little vape. They own it. Marlboro owns Juul. Do they? Gotta love it. They bought Juul, yeah. And so they took out all the flavors that people liked so that it would do worse.

Well, the flavors got banned. The FDA or the ATF or whatever. Weren't the tobacco corporations pushing for the flavors to get banned? Why? Yeah. Yeah. Because. So people would just smoke instead?

Might as well? Yeah, they want people to smoke cigarettes and not vape. That's why cigarettes aren't flavored except for menthol. And the things that are flavored are usually cigars, which you're not supposed to inhale. So that gives them the little out. But then they make these, I can't remember what they're called, but they're in like a

black box and they themselves are like Cigarillos? They look like little black cigarettes and they are cigarillos but people smoke they taste like cherry. Like a black and mild? No. Not a black and mild. I can't remember what it's called. I've smoked my fair share of black and milds.

My favorite flavor is casino. Or no, wine actually with the wood tip. That one's good. You gotta look up black cigarillo? Cigarillo, yeah. I put the expensive stuff in the freezer for five to ten minutes so we can enjoy it as intended. It's a little like John Black. I've never seen those in my life.

Never seen these? No, but they look fancy. They look cool. It makes me want to smoke cigarettes. Well, they're cigars, so you shouldn't inhale them. But back in the day, I did inhale those. Well, I didn't know you

weren't supposed to inhale a cigar the first time I smoked one and I just sat there fucking puffing away and I was like, why do people like this? Imagine the buzz on that

would be insane. Dude, it was unreal. Did you guys ever smoke Nat Shermans in high school when you're trying to be cool?

That sounds like a kid I went to high school with that would be racist. Kind of. They had like these like gold-tipped colorful cigarettes and they're like long and thin. They had like these like gold-tipped colorful cigarettes

and they're like long and thin. They're like, you feel fancy. Just like a little bit in high school. Just a tiny little bit. Just a touch. Like my body is,

I healed now. Those are woman cigarettes. Those are lady cigarettes. What makes you say that? Why would you say that? They're long and slender. In Japan, they have like women's cigarettes

and they're just skinnier. Yeah. Yeah. I like smoking those more than the regular ones because it was just like, it was like, it's a small cigarette. I like it. It has nothing to do with the gender thing, dude. So what if I like women's cigarettes more?

It's all the same. Look, I think we're a bit heated. Maybe it would be better if we poured some champagne. If we put some alcohol into the equation. I think that would be better. Alcohol is safer than cigarettes. So cheap first. This is Prosecco. I think that would be better. Alcohol is safer than cigarettes. So cheap first. This is Prosecco Brut.

Product of Italy. I mean, this looks expensive. You know? Yeah. You'd never guess it's $12.99. Looks like alcohol to me. Alright. What's your favorite alcoholic drink? Like your go-to. Honestly, champagne's pretty good or soju, but I already drank a bottle before we started. Yeah.

Well, I helped. Thank you for your help. Can you open that by itself? I've never really... I got it. Don't worry. Okay. Don't...

Where are you going to aim it? There's a lot of equipment in here. It's not like there's thousands of dollars of camera equipment in every direction. There's a light right there. It's Tucker's light. I don't care. You can aim for that then. Wait, so I just take this off.

You're just pointing it. I feel more. Yeah. Okay. Oh. Okay. Can you just. Oh, okay.

And now I use this, right? I already know. I know what's going to happen. It's going to overflow onto my pants. Well, there's no. No, no, no. You didn't shake. It's fine.

Maybe that Uber driver did. It's a bumpy road. my pants. Well, at least the cups are ready. You didn't shake. It's fine. Maybe that Uber driver did. It's a bumpy road. Armin? Or Arson? His name was Arson. A guy named Arson? That's bad news. That's a crime.

That's a felony. That's a badass name. Or Arsenio Hall. He's named after the theater? Yeah. Maybe. I'm just trying to give a more positive spin on Arson. Well, let's pop it.

You're good. You're good. You're good, King. It's not spilling. Wow. I tried to do this the other night. Ben Beal, white rapper, brought a bottle of champagne over. Well, he's white on the outside. Yes.

And we talk about him on every podcast. And he listens to every episode and he texts me and he's like, dude, I'm dying. Yeah. Let's drink some champagne. We're seeing a movie with him tonight. What are you guys watching? Nope. What? The movie Nope by Jordan Peele.

Jordan Peterson's Nope. I didn't know he made another one. Oh yeah, it came out. Today. Sabrina hadn't seen Jordan Peterson's Nope. I didn't know he made another one. Oh, yeah. It just came out today. Sabrina hadn't seen Jordan Peterson's recent video. No. She watched the Noob Dude video and didn't know what you were referencing. That's for her. I just thought it was a good character.

I didn't realize it was based off of her life. Well, that character has a whole story arc. It was the gamer for God and then he gave up his faith when E3 got canceled. And now it's like a staunch atheist are you waiting to so we all can sip it isn't that the proper way to do it

no it's just there's too much bubble I didn't do a good pour it's bubbly a really cool trick is just to pour the champagne like this it's all head, baby. Hell yeah. Listen, who doesn't like head?

I'll sip some of the head down. It's just foam. It's just froth. Oh. Okay. It's foam. He wasn't drinking champagne. Not yet. I'm trying to get the foam down. That's the best part. Okay. Yeah, look at that. This is, uh...

I love Prosecco. Yeah, cheers to Daddy Musk over there. Okay Yeah look at that This is uh Should we um I love Prosecco Cheers to Elon Yeah cheers to Cheers to Daddy Musk To Elon Daddy Musk Let's go

See I brought I brought that in just to Thank you Kind of help us out Ryan can you please move your Your cup From Right there

Oh I'm so sorry He has Henny He's good He looks like he's just Holding the thing of Henny I mean technically I don't want to. I don't want to. Why are you making that face?

I like it so much. I don't want you to feel pressured, but yeah, this is at least for the live action bits. Whenever we've had a guest on, we've had him take a sip of the Henny. Okay. Henna. Every guest takes a sip out of the henny bottle. It's almost empty. I know. We need to get a new one soon.

If you're not comfortable with it, it's totally fine. Mixing alcohol is dangerous. I've never had henny. Henny before champagne? You're in the clear. Make sure the mic gets that satisfying little... Ooh.

Yeah, and you don't need to... It is. It's because we wet the whistle recently. And you don't have to worry about COVID or anything because the alcohol kills the germs. That's true. Eric, Common Etiquette drank out of it yesterday and then Jack's Films drank out of it last week.

So everybody drinks it. Oh, yeah. No, there's been a lot of celebrities have sipped that Hennessy bottle. Are you guys going to see Jack's Films, his show that kept getting rescheduled? It finally has a date. It's happening at the end of the month.

I don't think I'll see that. Yeah. Okay. It doesn't have to be a big sip. And? Your eyes are watering. Is it so good that your eyes are watering? These are tears of joy.

Yeah, exactly. Now, do we have to do a hot ones and we like, you know how Sean is? We have every time, dude. Are you guys going to have one too? Sure, man. I fucking. Ever since the podcast went live action, we're just drinking now. It's like we wouldn't drink on the podcast, but now that it's live action, it just feels good to hold a fucking mother.

We had 10 beers. I love Hennessy, man. Each. Oh, I feel that burn now. It stays. It's like heartburn. Oh, that's a good burn. That's how you know it.

That's how you know you're growing some hair on your chest. Did you get some? Not yet. More than Matt, maybe. That's pretty easy to have more chest hair than me. I have one chest hair, and I always have had one chest hair. One singular chest hair. It's right in the middle.

And it came out recently, and I was like, is it going to come back? And it did come back. Oh, like you pulled it? It just came out, I guess. I have a little bit of nip hair, as I'm sure you do. I'm sure you do. But the rest of my chest, just nothing. And I'm like, I've always like, oh, it'll come in eventually. But I'm like, no, I'm sure you do. But the rest of my chest, just nothing. And I'm like, I've always like, oh, it'll come in eventually.

But I'm like, no, I'm 26 now. It's probably just not in my genetics. Maybe when you get much older. Like 30s. It becomes more peach fuzz. When my metabolism slows and my face bloats up. And then I'm like, damn, I shouldn't have drank so much in my 20s. I look like shit.

Can you put like Rogaine on your chest? Yeah, that yeah that does work because technically it says only to put that on your head but you can put it anywhere on your body yeah you've tried I have yeah I uh put it on my face did it work I think it was more placebo I think it takes months to see I was trying to grow the mustache I've actually been thinking Ryan yeah shaving all this but with the short blonde hair maybe trying the mustache out try whatever you want man i'm gonna try the mustache to try whatever i just think you always do you not always back out way too soon i guess because i get fucking i'm like oh i'm doing the mustache i'm doing the fucking facial hair and then i wake up one morning and i look in the

mirror and the lighting is shit and i'm like i can't look like this it's embarrassing or i'm gonna go hang out with someone i haven't seen in like months. I'm in my awkward hair phase where it's just like a length where I have to wear hats for a good bit. What's awkward about it? I think it looks good. It just hasn't been cut in a bit. It's a good length. It's very skinny.

The ears, it hasn't been trimmed around the ears. Ryan, you always look fucking sexy. How about now? Cheers. Ryan, you always look fucking sexy. How about now? Making my loins enlarged. Can you cool it with that glass over there?

My bad. My bad. My bad. I wish I had plastic. Oh. What do you guys think? That's disgusting. What?

The champagne is? Uh-huh. It's so sweet. It's not. Is it sweet? I feel like it's not sweet enough. No, it's too sweet. I need a dry champagne. Is that what the expensive one is?

Dry? I don't know. Oh, shit. I didn't buy it based on its notes. Oh. I'm not a fan of alcohol in general, so. He just downs it when he gets it. He's like, I just want to get this over with.

Yeah, this- Are you finished? Not yet. I still have a good bit in the cup. Okay. Well, just, I want to compare these. So, taste this one, and then just remember how it tastes. Okay.

I don't mind it. Well, if you like sweeter stuff, the next one might not. I have a feeling the next one's not going to be as sweet. But I like the less sweet. The sweet is, it gives me a hangover, and it's too i used to love i used to love sugary alcohol and now it's just like like that dessert wine from hungary that you used to buy back when we were like 22 like that shit was wait from hungary it was it was like a hungarian uh dessert wine that ryan would buy and it was like drinking honey i'm not a big like alcohol guy so whenever i get into And it was like drinking honey. I'm not a big alcohol guy,

so whenever I get into it, it's like a cider. You know? Recently, I've been getting Mike's Hard Lemonade. Yum! Justin loves them, and I'll drink one with him every so often. Justin just started drinking, so we're like, you would like these Mike's. And now, you know, we get Mike out of our mind with Justin.

Mike's are great if they want to sponsor us. Mike's Harder Lemonade. Mike's Pink Lemonade. Justin. Mike's are great if they want to sponsor us. Mike's Harder Lemonade? Mike's Pink Lemonade? They have Mike's Hardest now. Hardest? Yeah. Mike's Hardest? They have Mike's Hardest.

How'd they get him so hard? You don't want to know. They saw Justin sipping out of that bottle. It's not even made by a guy named Mike. Isn't that stupid? Who is it? It's not? No.

It's made by some other guy. I saw someone... The's not? No. It's made by some other guy. I saw someone... The other guys? Yeah. It's a great movie with Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. Hey, Will Ferrell? That guy's kind of funny. He is really funny. What about Mark Wahlberg? Going back to the Vietnam

thing. Oh, dude. That's someone who does not like Vietnam. Well, it's not that he doesn't like Vietnam. He just doesn't like the Vietnamese. Right. He said the country's beautiful.

He's like, oh, it's a beautiful country. The countryside's amazing. The Delta's so beautiful. But the people, I tell you what, they really piss me off. For no reason. You know about that, right? You know about Mark Wahlberg's speckled past with the Vietnamese people? Speckled?

He doesn't know about Juno B. Jones. Like an egg? You think they're going to know about it? There's speckled past with Vietnamese people? Speckled? He doesn't know about Juno B. Jones. Like an egg? You think they're going to know about it? Man, there's so much you need to learn. Not to mansplain anything here, but I'm about to mansplain Mark Wahlberg's past. Mark Wahlberg did a hate crime on an Asian person. I think twice. He beat a Vietnamese man with a golf club and blinded him while he was high on PCP.

Actually? Yes. Everyone just kind of like forget. And this was like before Boogie Nights. This was before like anything. And he's still getting work? It was before he got work. Are you currently seeing Mark Wahlberg or something?

Does this make it? Are we stepping in the way of something? Okay. No, no. I'm actually texting Mark right now. Oh, they're talking shit again. Maybe. I'm coming over.

I'm teaching those little fuckers a lesson. If I was there on the podcast when they're talking shit, it wouldn't have gone down that way. Oh, there's a list of his racist hate crimes. Oh, there's a list. I love his quote in Boogie Nights where he's like, it's my big dick and I want to film now. I mean, he has a wonderful voice for comedic delivery. I think Mark Wahlberg's a great actor in certain roles. Boogie Nights is one of my, despite Mark Wahlberg being a In certain roles. Boogie Nights is one of my, despite

Mark Wahlberg being a piece of shit, Boogie Nights is one of my favorite movies. I love Paul Thomas Anderson. It's a great fucking movie. Did you just scroll all the way down the list? It was too long. But yeah, now you know a little bit about Marky Mark and his funky bunch. His funky bunch? Do you know about Marky Mark and the funky bunch?

What's the funky bunch? He was a rapper before he was an actor. No. Good vibrations? That's what he was an actor. No. Good Vibrations? That's what he's known for. No. We're promised. No, no, no. It's a Good Vibrations. Good Vibrations.

You know that song? That's Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. You know that song? 100%. Good Vibrations. He used to wear a sidewards hat. Bounce around. You know that song, right?

No. I think you guys are fucking wrong. We're not. I'll pull it up. Ryan, pull it up. Pull that shit up. Next, you're going to tell me that you don't know that Jerry Seinfeld dated a 17-year-old and brought her to the red carpet.

I do know that one. Okay. And that's gross. I don't get why he's still like, nobody just talks about it. We talk about it. Good. Somebody has to. Just because I'm like, damn, Jerry.

He's a player. Also, there's Paul. What's his name? Paul Walker. Paul Ryan. Paul Walker. Paul Ryan. Well, probably Paul Ryan. I need money.

That's Marky Mark. And the funky. Play a little clip of the song. She knows the song. You've heard it before. They's Marky Mark. And the funky. Well, the funky. Play a little clip of the song. She knows the song. You've heard it before. They played it like events, you know, trying to pump people up. Good vibrations.

Luke, make sure you leave this entire silence. Yeah. Wait for it. I wish there was like a 15 second skip. Pump it up. Don't come to my show if you're Vietnamese. Okay. It's a long opening That's kind of a banger

I think we can cut some stuff off the list I mean Probably like That one? That doesn't bring any sort of nostalgic This doesn't tug at any nostalgic strings of yours. Now I see. No.

What? Now I see why mansplaining is a term. Well. Because we know everything. You guys already messed it up. Because why are you calling it mansplain? Shouldn't it be manplain? Because there's no S in explain.

Well, X. Not manplain. But manplain sounds like we're complaining. X and men don't complain. No, never. X-plain? There is an S sound. There might not be.

The letter X is a K-S, basically. You know, so it's like X. Then why don't they just spell it with a K and an S? I don't fucking know. Take it up with whoever invented English. We've had extensive conversations about this on the podcast before. Joseph, what's his middle name? R, just R.

Rothenberry, I don't know. Joseph Rothenberry Biden. That's a middle name? Rothenberry. It sounds like an old middle name. Rothenberry. Rothenheimer. He'd have one of those old guy middle names. Jeff Sessions was Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III,

which is an example of iambic pentameter. Do you guys know anybody named Crothers? No. Crothers? Crothers. Like, as a last name

or a first name? No, like, as a name. No. Like, a YouTube name or, like, a real name? No, just, like, a real name. No, that's fucked up. I know.

That's what I'm saying. There's one person named Crothers watching this right now, and they're like, is it an actual name? Crothers. Crothers is... Crothers is... Get a is it an actual name crothers crothers is crothers is hey get a look get a load of this one crothers sit and spin you ever come

across someone named benjamin no no right not real no okay making sure we're on the same page no absolutely frank that's not real but you're not frank no she's sabrina yes surely to be sabrina yes that's not my real name. Did you ever watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch, though? Yeah. What is your real name? Not Sabrina. Okay.

Is it Abilene? That's a bit longer than Sabrina. Yeah. But I didn't know that. Wait, is Sabrina your last name? It's my middle name. Oh, okay. So Abilene is your first name.

Yeah, but I didn't know that it was my name for like the first six years of my life. I've never even heard that word before. I thought your name was Sabrina Abelina, and you were just swapping them for like the name. No. The funsies. No, that's just kind of how it is legally. It's a cool name. Thank you.

Abelina? My mom wanted it to rhyme for fucking fun, and like my sisters, there's like Desiree Darlene, Eileen Yvette, Caesar. He didn't get anything. He sucks. But all of us have. He does. Good. He's a cop.

But yeah. Pig. But yeah, just you guys have fun middle names. Elias. Hobbes. All right. Wait, actually? Yep. Like the tiger. Hobbes. All right. Wait, actually? Yep.

Like the tiger. You sound like book characters. So Hobbes is a weird name for middle name. No, it's a fun, it's a normal middle name. Normal middle name. I need to take a boom boom. In front of the ladies, Ryan? Well, it would be in the restroom.

It would be into the toilet. Like a boom mic? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It takes about... Can I... 25?

Yeah, I mean, we could do another ad break if you gotta... So I could use the boom boom room? Yeah. We love ads. If you gotta take care of business, then be my guest. Take care of business. So, uh... Excuse me.

Yeah. Oh! Yeah. I! Yeah. I want to keep adding... I thought when there was a girl on the podcast. I'm not afraid. I respect that. What I want to do is, uh...

Oh, Jim's going, I think, on Tuesday to a neon company because I think they have a sample for his sign. Okay. I also want to get some shelves and we can just kind of keep just adding shit to this set and making it, like, just kind of build over the years. That's nasty, right? Well, it's me.

Yeah, but I can tell you objectively that's a gross champagne. That's not a good champagne. Hey, guys, we're back. Just waiting for Sabrina. Luke texted me a picture of his penis yesterday. I didn't want to say anything but Luke sent me I think it's probably the same picture

he sent it was like 11 o'clock last night let me see is it this one yep yep okay

it's like on one hand first of all second off it's not even an original. Like, you're sending it to multiple people. No, no, he's sending up his penis to multiple people. I don't know if he knows he's sending it to multiple people.

He has to know. Otherwise, it'd probably be, like, in a group chat by accident. Which it's not. No, it's individual. Not this time. Not this time. There's one where you, me. Oh, Luke literally just texted me.

Did he? Yeah, he said, IHOP has a Minion menu. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Luke is... I'm going to text him right now. Stop texting my friend, Matt. Luke, the podcast editor, is... Well, he texted a group chat I'm in.

He didn't directly text me. But, you know, he directly texted me last night. I did want to bring that up, because I don't... Okay, dude, thank you so much.. I did want to bring that up because I don't... Okay, dude, thank you so much. I don't want to... Like, I don't want people

to dislike the guy, so I didn't want to bring it up. I mean, he just started editing... He's an unlikable guy. Naturally, yes, but... But you don't want people to feel like you're pushing them towards a certain end.

No, he's good at editing and he edits the podcast now, so it's like, you know, I'd like to stay on good terms. I don't know where he got the idea that sending pictures of his flaccid penis to us was kosher. Speaking of kosher, I mean, that thing ain't made of pork. It's like a salami. Is salami pork?

It's like if you took a bunch of salami meat, bologna, kind of like wrapped it around and be in a sausage. Yeah. Yeah, go get Sabrina. Yeah, Luke, so you can just like keep that whole opening part. Like start where Ryan's like, yeah, I fart in front of a girl on the podcast. And then just roll from there. And then you can just do a little beep if you want to like pass time. Like beep for if you ever need to skip time on the podcast, you can do that if you want.

Just make sure the beep's kind of quieter because sometimes that beep can be like Premiere makes it way too loud and it's jarring. What are you doing? You're taking a picture of me? All right, Luke, you can also keep in these editing notes I'm giving you. While Ryan's taking a 0.5 picture, I'm guessing. I'm sending it to Luke. Luke, go ahead and put that picture up right now.

Put it where Ryan's sitting. Is this just a cut in? Yeah. Well, I was giving him editing notes. On uh, on how to how to like cut, like time jump. Okay. Speaking of time jump, dude, we gotta talk about that new Better Call Saul.

Good. I am ready to talk about that new Better Call Saul. Good. I'm ready to talk about that. Dude, it was unbelievable. That time jump. Sabrina! Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Why are you yelling? I didn't yell. I raised my voice. That was you. No, I raised my voice. If I look up the definition of yelling right now, it's going to say exactly that. No, yelling is with intent of anger. Is it?

Well, you can yell for someone like, Matt, come home for dinner. If you're out playing in like the swamp. That wasn't a yell. That was. Hey, Matt, dinner's ready. I love that whole thing where it's like, I didn't yell at you. I raised my voice. It's the same thing. There's a difference. I was that whole thing where it's like, I didn't yell at you. I raised my voice. It's the same thing.

There's a difference. I was being stern, not abrasive. But welcome back, everyone, from the second Ad Read bit. So good. They're just bits. We're not actually sponsored. We just want to look more professional, so we just give these companies free promotion. You're in the pocket of big...

Big podcast? Shoe. Big shoe? Big shoe. Hey, these are some nice shoes. They look pretty good. That is a big shoe, man. They're both lefties.

We got a pair of Tims on the table. God loves the lefties. Aren't we all lefties? You're a political analyst for CNN, right? For CNN? I see you on CNN. They're not all lefties? You're a political analyst for CNN, right? For CNN? I see you on CNN. They're not quite left. Would you consider yourself a political analyst?

Political analyst. You know the, sure, you could say analyst if you want. I knew a kid in high school that would only say anal, anal-sis. Actually? Yeah, like fully seriously. He's like, that's how you say it. That's not how you say it. Oh, I think.

Analysis. Sounds like I think. Analysis. Sounds like a Freudian slip. But you, I mean, you're known for your politics. Yeah. And, you know, Ryan and I are known for our politics. What? On a bit opposite sides of the spectrum. Oh.

But see, we like hearing different voices on this podcast. Very recently with a situation that was going on with the Supreme Court, you were very upset. We were elated. And, you know, that's just, everyone has different views, so... Right? Just respect our beliefs.

Also, the whole January 6th thing. I respect your beliefs. Why can't you respect mine? The January 6th thing, we, like, just because we were there didn't mean that we did anything bad. Oh, you were there?

We were in, yeah, we went inside the Capitol. That's no secret. Wow. And we live-streamed it. We did anything bad. Oh, you were there? Yeah, we went inside the Capitol. That's no secret. Wow. And we live streamed it. We almost succeeded too. Did you get anything? Maybe next time, buddy.

Maybe next time. There's always tomorrow. Did you get any good pictures? Oh, yeah. I put my feet up on Nancy Pelosi's desk. I saw an edited picture where someone just replaced her screen with Fruity Loops Studios. It was like cooking up in Nancy Pelosi's office. Cooking up? Yeah. God. screen with like a like fruity loop studio it was like cooking up in nancy pelosi's office yeah god but yeah so you're known for your politics and uh i i had somewhere i was going with this and now i just some about how how even though we are on opposite political ends of the

spectrum we can still join together to enjoy some champagne. The horseshoe theory is very real. Yes, it is. What is this theory? You know a horseshoe where they come together right here, but it's wide in the middle. But when you get to the bottom,

the left and the right are basically the same. That's the horseshoe theory. So you're a constitutionalist. You're a constitutionalist libertarian. That's me. That's me. Okay, I'm hearing mixed things.

Did they codify gay marriage yet? Or they're trying to. They passed it in the Senate, right? But it has to go to the House? They're trying. A lot of Republicans are like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, we can see how they vote So it would be same sex marriage

And interracial marriage Why is that something that needs in 2022 Wait whoa whoa whoa Wait what both of them? 1945? Or is it like they're two separate bills Or both of them at the same time I keep hearing it being talked about

Was interracial marriage never codified in America? I don't think so. Oh, it's gross. Matt. I'm kidding. It's a joke. Jesus. This woke culture is fucking ruining comedy.

Sorry, we had to cut back in. Sabrina was talking about her support for Israel. And I'm going to open up this champagne. Oh, is this the expensive one? This is the fancy stuff. Ooh, time for champagne socialist time. Pronounce this, Ryan. Ooh.

Vuev Klikwat. Okay, sure. I don't know how to pronounce that. Vuev Klikwat. No, Vuev Klikwat. Vuev Klikwat. Vuev Klikwat. Who's calling me No, vive le... Vive le quoi. Vive le quoi. Vive le quoi.

Who's calling me? Who's calling you? It's a fucking random number. Hold on. Put him on the microphone. Hello? Hello? Speaker?

This is... May I speak with Matthew? This is he. Yes, hi. I was just calling to refill your CPAP supply. I don't need a refill on my CPAP supplies. This is he. I don't need a refill on my CPAP supplies. Oh, I don't need a refill on that right now. I don't have sleep apnea anymore.

I don't need anymore. Okay. Just check up whenever you need to. But right now, I don't need it. Oh, I'm sorry. What did you say you broke up there? Oh, I just said check up whenever you need to. I just don't need any refills right now. Okay.

No problem. We'll definitely follow up with you. Oh, thank you very much. I look forward to it. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. Bye.

Bye. You little shit. You made her day. You know she doesn't like her job. You made her day. He's like, all right, this person is nice to me. All right. Yeah, so no, no.

When I got diagnosed with narcolepsy, they're like, oh, you have sleep apnea too. So they made me get this expensive ass machine and I tried sleeping with it. And I'm like, this isn't, and then I realized I don't think it was sleep apnea. I think that it's because my septum was deviated. So I had the septum surgery, which I sleep fine now.

But they try to always, they're like, we want to send you more CPAP equipment. I'm like, why do I need to, what do you mean refill? Well, you're going to get another call. I don't know what refill means. It's like tubes. Oh, that's completely empty. I drank all mine. Mine's completely empty.

We need the... It looks the fucking same. Stop it. Is champagne always wrapped in foil? We're socialists on this podcast. We're socialists? Are you? Yeah.

Nice. Nice. That's fucking sick. But you know what I was going to say? I'm a libertarian. Same. I'm a member of the Green Party. Well, the Greenies are there.

They are. They're most definitely somewhere. I'm part of a what is his name? Bob Ezekian's New Communist. He's that really radical communist guy that puts his flyers all over LA. But can you register as a communist for like your political party when

you're changing your voter affiliation? No, when I registered to vote, there were two options. Republican, Democrat. There were three. Republican, Democrat, or other. No, there's way more in California. I two options. Republican, Democrat. There were three. Republican, Democrat or other. No, there's way more in California. When I did it, I did it through the DMV. In California? There's more?

Yes. But also, doesn't what you're registered as, it can affect certain things? Can't people look it up? Well, I don't think you can officially register as communist, but I think if for whatever reason, I think you can't be a public teacher in california if you ever were a communist or something like that oh okay no that's a law from like the red scare yeah they put that in place like super long time but i don't think they ever i don't think they ever fixed it and then there's american independent american independent but it's not actually independent

if you actually want to be independent you have to register as no party preference. But if you register as American independent, then you have to. Then technically, that's like a wing of the conservative side. That's right wing, basically. So if you're registered as American independent, you cannot vote for a Democratic election in the primaries. What? I was a poll worker one time. Oh, wow. What, fucking faking all the votes for Joseph Brandon?

No, not this. Not this election. In 2016, a lot of people wanted to vote for Bernie Sanders in 2016 when it came down to the primary between Bernie and Hillary, basically. And some people registered as American Independent thinking, oh, independent. I can vote for whoever I want. But California has like a semi-open primary. And so they got to the booth and they were like,

oh, I'm not allowed to vote between Bernie and Hillary. Like, is it just not on there? No. Well, you get a separate ballot. Like, you had to get a provisional ballot,

which means that at the Democratic Party's discretion, they can throw away your ballot if they want to. So that was... Which if it had Bernie on it, they probably would. No, not bad. Not very bad. Bad. Very bad. Bad. Yes. Thank to. Good. Which if it had Bernie on it, they probably would. No, not good. Not bad.

Not very bad. Bad. Very bad. Bad. Yes. Thank you. Okay. Ryan? I'm done. Let's get you some hot. But not too bad. Like, just somewhat bad, right? Yeah, Hillary was so good. Yes. This is the fancy... Tastes like a... This is the $90 champagne. Someone's gonna look

it up and be like, dude, it's like $40, and I got overcharged. Probably. Smells like some... Thank you. Good pour. Smells like some spoiled Whitey Tidies. Oh, no. See, that's the thing is, when you pour beer or champagne, you got to do it at an angle

so it doesn't foam up. Do we still have the other one? Yeah, there's some. Is this one ruined for you now? Oh, I smell it. Well, now that you've said that, Ryan, why'd you fucking say that? You know, a little bit of sweet and tanginess in there. Yeah, sure.

Sweet and sour. Cheers. Cheers to the last bit of the cast and being friends. We're already at the end? Well, not yet. We're in the last third. We're in the last stretch. All right.

The light's at the end of the tunnel. That's funky. I like that more than the other one. I think I like the other one more. I think the other one was easier to just gulp down. I think so, too. This one, I will say it's a little funky tasting. It's got a... Like an underwear taste. I wish we had

cheeses and charcuterie. I love wine and cheese nights. Wine and cheese nights are my favorite. There's never been cheese that I've tasted or had that I didn't like. Really? I tried the maggot cheese. I would. I would too for sure.

You know about the maggot cheese? No. Cheese with maggots in it. Gordon Ramsay ate it and was like, oh, fuck. We've had stinky cheese before. Not the cheese that smells bad. There's a couple cheeses I'm not a fan of. Brie is one of them.

Brie's good. That's the best one. Brie is, there's a bitterness to it and I don't like it. Are you eating the brine? There's a lot of sweet. Are you not supposed to? You need to go to a cheese monger. A cheese monger? Is that what they're called? That sounds illegal.

That sounds like some horrible slur. Fucking cheesemonger. I think that's what they're called. Hold up. A couple cheesemongers moving in the neighborhood. It just sounds bad. Fucking lazy cheesemongers. Isn't monger like a merchant? I've heard like fear monger. A't monger like a merchant? I've heard like fear monger.

A monger is just a merchant. So a cheese monger is just a cheese merchant. I feel like that's something they said in like 1200. But it just never changed. Well it's weird because to explain what a cheese monger is they say

they use the word cheese shop. But is it a cheese shop or are you going to a cheese monger? That's like a drug dealer for cheese. If you go to theesemonger is, they say they use the word cheese shop, but is it a cheese shop, or are you going to a cheesemonger? That's like a drug dealer for cheese. Like I'm going to a butcher shop. You know, that's a butcher. Is there a cheese shop around here? There's a couple, yeah. Actually?

Mm-hmm. They usually close like at five, though. Yeah, there's one called Say Cheese that's pretty good in Silver Lake. There's another one in... There's one literally called Cheesemongers in Sherman Oaks. Oh, that's awesome. There's one in Eagle Rock. That's pretty good in Silver Lake. There's another one in... There's one literally called Cheesemongers in Sherman Oaks. Oh, that's awesome. There's one in Eagle Rock.

That's far from here. Hey, man, you got to go all over the place for some good cheese. For the good cheese. I like trying really weird fun ones. I travel for my cheeses. I'm not opposed to traveling for some good cheese. When we have another wine and cheese night. Can we do that soon?

Yeah, and next time we do it, let's get some weird ones. Yes. Let's be like, what the fuck is that? Let's fucking try this one. I'm so down. With the pepper jelly

and the crackers? Pepper jelly? Pepper jelly, cheese, crackers. Can I come? It's kind of like a guy's only thing. No, no, you can come.

She wants to come. We'll have a guys only thing. No, no, you can come. She wants to come. We'll have a fake one before it. Okay. Yeah, you can come. Just show up at like 7. Like crap singles. You have to leave by around 7.30. Yeah, we only do them for like 15 minutes.

Imagine faking a hangout just because someone you don't like is coming. So you do a fake hangout. It's like, all right, it's done. And then the real one starts after. We've all been there. I'm sure we're no strangers to it. But just because we're out of high school doesn't mean people still aren't acting a little stupid and immature. There are a lot of adults who are.

I thought that when I got out of high school. The drama would end. Same with college, actually. I was like oh you know college I'll give it a pass too the petty clicky drama will stop yeah I was like when I'm an adult

like when I'm a grown ass man this will you know I won't have drama in my life anymore no it's quite the opposite I think I have more drama in my life than I I didn't have drama in high school this smells like something I should throw out

like if I smelled this in my kitchen, I'd be like, okay. The old one's still right there. Oh my God, wait. Get it. What? Is that not $90? No, but guess who it's by? Mark Wahlberg.

No. Who? Ryan, guess who this champagne's by? OJ Simpson? No, but that stuff is good. What? Hennessy. No. What? Hennessy. No.

What? Imported by Moet Hennessy USA Incorporated. And they have the Hennessy logo right there. Yeah, the other champagne is so sweet. So we're just drinking Henny again? Some form of Henny. Well, like the brand Henny, but not the... I had Dom Perignon once that was $700, and that was delightful.

What are you doing with my microphone? Who's Don? Hmm? Hmm? Ryan, you're going to make the microphone fall. No, I'm not. It's a delicate balance. We mounted it to a fucking step ladder.

I'm not doing anything. You're twisting it. On the audio, in the audio listener's universe. Stop twisting it, dude. Yeah. Twisting what? My fucking mic stand because it's already,

it's barely on there, dude. And let it all out. And scream and shout and let it all out. I was doing the Beatles one. Twist and shout. Oh, and I was thinking of Tears for Fears.

Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the things I can do without. Come on. I'm talking to you. Oh, yeah. Come on. There it is. Tees for Fears is great.

Good times. I would never cry, though. It also is great. What? Good Vibrations. Oh, by Martin Luther and the Funky Bunch. See, when someone says Good Vibrations, I don't think of the Beach Boys. I think of Mark and the Funky Bunch see when someone says good vibrations I don't think of the Beach Boys I think of Mark and the Funky Bunch

first Brian Wilson can take a backseat for this one alright Brian Wilson and Mike Love can go fuck themselves to be for copying Marky Mark give themselves some good vibrations yeah we don't need that shit no

fuck off with your beach bullshit, man. Fuck the beaches. Get some Marky Mark up in here. I remember they were saying Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch is the Jackson 5 of this generation. What are you... Are you tucking your shirt in? No, my back brace. He's doing one of those things.

He's trying to simulate what it's like to be pregnant for a week to understand the pain women go through. How is it? I have a lot of respect for women today. Oh, cool. Today. Today. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow it'll be a run out.

Yeah, I mean, tomorrow I'll be fully a man again without this. I don't want to, I don't know how many episodes it was before we got a woman on the podcast. And I don't want to know. Was Pam the last guest? Who was the last woman? No, no, we've had a handful of women. episodes it was before we got a woman on the podcast and I don't want to know was Pam who's the last yes no no we've had we've had a handful of women Pam from the office yeah no Gemini yeah Lindsay negative Gemini yeah was that the last is that a name or her no no no no Anissa we don't talk about Anissa no we like Anissa they ruined iDubbbz whoa

made him into a fucking beta cuck it's not as funny anymore I laugh because I'm going couldn't be me yeah I go oh okay buddy me an alpha a zeta no she's muscle ma'am to you

no she's not muscle ma'am to you no she's not muscle ma'am muscle ma'am she's controlling his life and stealing his life like if he chose to marry her that would be different

but she's just completely taken over it was arranged from what I heard are they married are they arranged they are married

yeah it was arranged that's how most marriages go they arrange a marriage you plan it and then you get married no this was an arranged marriage what does that mean you know what an arranged marriage is like every wedding takes like a year to plan so you gotta arrange

everything have you never had an arranged marriage um not this lifetime probably in a past lifetime you've had several i I probably have too. That's where your parents are like, oh, you're going to, you know, this man has two cows. So you're going to bestow yourself for the rest of your life to him. Right. Most of the time it works out. I wonder what her dowry was.

Anissa's? Yeah. Probably stealing his fucking ad revenue. That's a dowry? Oh, and his sense of humor. Her dowry is something that she gives or her family gives.

What would Anissa's dowry have been? I think Matt said it perfectly clear. Yeah. His sense of humor. He sure doesn't have it anymore. Dude, I'm gonna

be so sad if Ian and Anissa, like, see these clips and they're like, what the hell? I know! It's like, we had them in this school again. First Sam Hyde, now what the hell is this? You had Sam Hyde on? Yeah. Why? We're friends with him. We're

best friends. We have not had Sam Hyde on and us ragging on Anissa ruining Ian is is making fun of all those fucking bros that think that like

oh I've seen him yeah I've seen him the reddit bros Sam Hyde recently did it on a on a on the PKA podcast

PK? uh it's like a well he's doing it he's doing it ironically yeah so it's so it's really just all a joke

he's donating money to far right groups ironically. It's a joke. Because it is funny. It is pretty funny. Yeah. Because why do people care so much about things? Fuck off. You know, isn't life much better if everyone else shoulders the burden of caring about things

and I can just whimsically go through and make fun of all of it? Exactly. Exactly. You get it. That's the life of a YouTuber. I mean, are you wrong? We need that one user

Oh shit. I was not expecting that. It spooked me. Snails aren't even fast. You should have seen it coming. Well, I don't have really great reflexes, unfortunately. Due to my condition. I to my condition. Condition. I'm not injured.

Your illness. Conditioner is important. I'm strong. You're a warrior. You're a fighter, man. I'm a fucking warrior. Ryan McGee. Ryan is a warrior! You saw both of us get the shit beat out of us. Yeah, you were at Creator Clash.

I was at Creator Clash. How did you like us get the shit beat out of us. Yeah, you were at Creator Clash. I was at Creator Clash. How did you like our fight? Can you tell us your reaction? Oh. Honest, okay, go from the very beginning when I come out to when Ryan is done with his.

So like, we're the first two fights of the night. A review. Okay, I remember Matt's fight. I was so excited. It's the first fight of the night. And I'm so excited

and I'm trying to take pictures and then it was over. And I'm like, oh. I didn't understand that it was over to take pictures and then it was over. And I'm like, oh. I didn't understand that it was over for good. I thought it was just the first round. I was very confused by that. And they asked me if I was good to go and I was like, yeah, I'm good to go for another round.

And then all of a sudden they're like, it's done. And I was like, oh. Maybe there was some accidental miscommunication where they thought you said you're... I was so relieved to be honest though. I was like, well, that's I was like well that's it baby it's all over now it's in the past but no I thought that was

a good one and I think I got some photos from there and then Ryan's was yours next or was it immediately next yay that one was good that one was a blood bath and I think when I talked to Anissa she was just like we expected it to be a blood bath I'm glad they set talked to Anissa she was just like we expected it to be a blood bath. Thank you.

I'm glad they said it was brutal fight of the night. It was brutal. That was the best match. That one was hard to watch because it was just so fucking like every punch was like and it just kept going. You guys just kept fucking

socking each other and you had blood all over you. Oh I watched back and forth seeing like all blood dude. Did you see your nose? It looks badass. Uh, I can tell that it was broken I never felt it though. When did you have yours? Have we allowed to talk about this? We've all had a nose surgery We've all had a nose surgery All of us. We just can't talk about my other surgery. No, that's that's not no no no no no My vasectomy. Luke, vasectomy. No, no, no, no, no. Luke.

Vasectomy. You had one? Mm-hmm. No way. Yeah. Hell yeah. Make that two. Thank you.

I think you have about three years to reverse it if you want to. Why would I reverse it? Some people want to. I don't want to spill any little gremlins onto this planet. The super mega challenge is going to get a vasectomy. Go get a vasectomy. Be like brothers Matt and Ryan. Vasectomy time, baby. Are you both getting a vasectomy? We've both Matt and Ryan. Vasectomy time, baby. Are you both getting a vasectomy?

We both have vasectomies. Had? Together. We've had our vast difference snipped. Not at the same time. Aw. But we went together. We went together.

They did one at a time. It's like you go to the barber, you're not going to get your hair cut the same time as your friend. You know, same with your fucking, you know. We both like the same barber, so to speak. Okay. Okay. I hear that.

You know, you've been going first probably the last three times and I thought we were going to trade off who gets to go first when we go to the barber but that's a conversation for another day but yeah Creator Clash you had a good time though I'm excited to go next year and just hang out with people and watch

it feels like what people what creators want out of VidCon where you just kind of see your buddies and you just hang out. I've never seen an event that brings all these creators together. Yes. Yeah. I mean, everyone wants to see people they know get beat up. It was fun.

It was a nice experience. From the audience, I will say. It ruined the rest of my life, but. Most of us. Oh, shit. Most of us were like, obviously, we're happy to see you guys. But a lot of us like watching, we're watching, we're genuinely very afraid for our friends. We don't want to see them hurt, hurt.

That's what Justin said. I remember Justin was interviewed by someone. He was like, do you want to see them fight again? He's like, I don't know. I just don't want to see them get hit, I think. I'm stepping down from the boxing realm. I think it's time we officially announce this. You want to look into this camera?

Ryan and I of Super Mega, we would like to officially announce that we are retiring from our boxing careers. It's not an easy decision to make. You know? But this is something that we have to do for us. And I want to thank everyone for... I can't continue to act sad anymore.

Hurry it up, hurry it up. Thank you everyone for supporting all the matches we did. And we're officially retired as boxers. On our Wikipedia pages, please put retired boxer. Does that mean technically? YouTuber, retired boxer. Please, retired boxer. Does that mean technically? YouTuber, retired boxer. Please, retired boxer. They'll do it.

Also, Nathan said something in our group chat recently. Apparently, those all qualified as pro fights. Really? For some reason, yeah. Dad? Yeah. Apparently, those all qualified as pro fights. So technically, we are-

Pros don't fight with 16-ounce gloves. They fight with like 12s. He said there was something where those classified as pro fights. So technically, Ryan, we're professional boxers. I might have got the shit beat out of me, but it still doesn't get rid of that fucking title. We both did. I had more physical damage than you. You had more internal damage.

Mine was all up here. Your brain scrambled. Are my pupils big right now? They look like cute little pupils. Cute little pupils? They're big pupils. Compared to mine? I have brown eyes so it might be hard to tell. I got little blueberries.

I got delicate little blueberries. You're more sensitive to the sun. I might want to just pop it right out and eat it. From Tosh Bueno? Yep. I know exactly what you're talking about, man. Dude, we lived the same life growing up. He came to South Carolina.

I saw him live. Dude, when he came to South Carolina, my mom had tickets. He came to Columbia. He also went to Charleston. And my mom's friend had three tickets, gave them to my mom to take me. My mom didn't want me to see Daniel Tosh, didn't tell me she had the tickets until afterwards. Why? She's like, I don't want you to be into

this crass humor. Well, fucking look now, mom. Well, I got to see so I've seen Tosh.0, George Lopez and Jeffrey Dunham. I've seen the big three. Back to back in one night. Do you know George Lopez's scandal? With his wife and the kidney?

Yes! Oh, yes, I do know about that one. What that guy? He was just like, I'm dying. She gives him his kidney and then he cheats on her? Yep. That's fucked up because we don't have a lot of icons in the Latino community for Mexican actors.

George Lopez was kind of it. Maybe Jedward, Edward James almost, but George Lopez. What about Danny Trejo? Danny Trejo. He makes good donuts, makes good tacos. I volunteered with him recently.

Really? Oh, yeah, I saw that. Did you see him? Yeah, we took a photo together. He seems like a very nice person. You're the guy from Breaking Bad. Yeah. And Spy Kids. Yeah, and Machete.

Yes. And Machete Kills. But not Machete goes to space or whatever because they didn't release that but he's much better than george lopez okay no okay no no no there's a fruit fly that's flying around that salad it's just non every episode there's one fruit fly in here because we have last one we had a huge we each had a glass that had 10 beers in each and fucking the fruit flies are going crazy. Apparently you guys had shrimp or something and all you can whip out for me is like salad.

They're a really good, salads are served at very high class restaurants. Listen, so shrimp. We're trying to think of, what does she want? I said,

she'll have a salad. No, I'll take a shrimpy. She'll have a salad. Next time you come on, we'll have shrimp. Crawfish? Crawfish.

I don't like those. They're just big. They're fancier than shrimp. Crawdads? Go to Lobster. Or Crab. Where the Crawdads sit. Crab cakes?

I love crab cakes. I'll do a crab cake. You like crab cakes? I love crab cakes. And she crab soup. Yes. Sorry, I get really excited. Do you guys want to get ramen?

She crab soup is so good. Oh, that sounds good. Ramen sounds good. There's a Silver Lake Ramen that opened up near here. We used to go to Silver Lake Ramen all the time. I go to this offshoot one. I got their Saboru bowls. Yeah, that one's good. S's a Silver Lake Ramen that opened up near here. We used to go to Silver Lake Ramen all the time. I go to this offshoot one. I got their Saboru bowls. Yeah, that one's good.

Saboru is a sandwich. Not that. I know what you're talking about. Oh, no, it's pizza. There's bowls where it's like rice and egg and like protein. Yeah. And chives maybe. I don't know.

That sounds good. Those are onions, right? Chives are onions. If there's one thing. Are chives onions? Yeah. Yes. Green onions.

They're in the onion family. But scallions are also green onions. I found chives in the wild ones. So what's the difference between chives and scallions? So the... Chives are like... The chives are like the thin ones where you just kind of eat the little green parts at the end. Okay.

And then the green onions, they have like a little bit of bulb. And then the Mexican green onions, they have like a fatter bulb on the end. And then you throw those on the grill and then you eat them by themselves. What about the ones that grow on God's thumb? Can I grill it? I knew she wouldn't get the reference. Holes reference. Have you seen holes reference?

Oh. Digging up the holes. Yeah, there you go. Digging up the. Those. Have you ever bitten an onion raw? No. Yeah.

It's not good. I've had pieces of it I've never bitten it no no bitten an onion like an apple I've eaten like a piece of onion and it's brutal no no

bitten an onion like an apple getting all of it in one bite as much as your mouth can take no matter how much you brush your teeth that's not going away for like two days no you've tried no I have

it was for a true extreme one what is it like the sulfur dioxide or whatever that's in it fucking sticks in your mouth there's. You've tried. No, I have. It was for a charity stream What is it, like the sulfur dioxide or whatever that's in it? There's some sort of chemical in it, but it's the stink, but also you eat it and it's like, okay, I'm familiar with onion,

but then you feel sick. It's disgusting. Like your stomach feels sick? They lie. Yeah, like your stomach, like you're going to Maybe we'll do it on a podcast episode.

You should. It's not as easy. At the beginning of an episode, we'll both eat onions. Or maybe if we do a whole movie watch review thing, we can eat onions. That's a great idea. Onions and peaches. You have to pee? I have to pee too, but I still want to do more podcasts.

No, I know. Me too. Because I want to talk about Peter Cosell. I haven't seen the new season. Well, then we can't talk about it. But I did record something with Bob Odenkirk and Nate Odenkirk a few months ago. Really? Yeah.

Bob! I know, Bob! Bob, you watch the podcast. We know you text us about it all the time. Bob's like, great episode, guys. Better than all the

Better Call Saul's I've ever shot. And I'm like, I know, Bob. It's pretty fucking good. You know, Bob is big into the underground comedy community.

We're more major. He kind of is, though. Yeah, let's take turns peeing. I'll be right back. I just got to urinate. You know, Bob is a legend in not just the drama community, but the comedy community. Yeah. People don't know that.

People don't know that he's, like, into comedy. But he kind of is. Dude, like, Mr. Show, like, all of his early stuff. Like, all that stuff is amazing. And he's a great comedian. I mean, he produced a lot of the Tim and Eric stuff. Which, you know, was a big inspiration for me and Ryan. But he's a lot of the Tim and Eric stuff which you know was a big inspiration for me and Ryan but uh he's a huge fan of the podcast he watches it every week and goes man

Matt and Ryan you guys are so fucking funny and when I watch you guys I just get filled with such like a sense of glee and joy because like it he doesn't have many friends and he watches it and he goes you know when I listen to it it's like, you know, hanging out with some friends I never had and it just feels right. He has a parasocial relationship with you. That's the one I'll allow. Well, he gets a little pushy with it sometimes. Yeah.

He expects like free merch and stuff. And, you know, Ryan and I, it's like, it's not like we don't, it's like, you know, we can send you the free merch, you know, there's no skin off our back, but it's, you know, it's like kind of the precedent

we don't want to set with him because he just crosses, he crosses lines sometimes with us. You should become friends with his son then. Who is also breaking into comedy. He's a writer, right? Yeah, he's a writer. See, I want more writer friends

because I want to write more comedy stuff. I'd love to, my dream is to one day write an episode of either SpongeBob or Family Guy. Why? Because I know that, not to pump myself up, but I think that's

something I could do. I think I could probably write a Family Guy episode. How would you, what would you do? I don't fucking know, but like, I'm confident enough

where I, like I could sit down and write a Family Guy episode. And if there's any people that work on Family Guy watching this, come on. If anybody was working on Family Guy watching this. I don't think anyone's working on Family Guy episode. And if there's any people that work on Family Guy watching this, come on. If anybody was working on Family Guy watching this.

I don't think anyone's working on Family Guy anymore. I'm just kidding. No, Family Guy's great. If you ever need a guest writer, me and Ryan will write an episode of Family Guy, and I promise it will be fucking hilarious. That would be so good. I read a little bit of your book, and I thought, this is so funny. They should write for Family Guy.

Yeah, that's what most people think. I was just saying how one of my dreams is to write an episode for Family Guy. And you and I, I honestly believe, I'm not trying to gas this up, but I really think you and I could write a good episode of Family Guy. We could. If they gave us the fucking chance, I think we could make a funny-ass episode of Family Guy. I could see that.

Do you have to pee? A little bit I have to pee as well Rock, paper, scissors for it But on shoot Wait, wait, wait Rock, paper, scissors Rock, paper, scissors

Shoot And then on shoot Rock Wait, wait Rock, paper, scissors Shoot Nope, it's you I win

Yep Okay, I'll be right back Now I just have to Try to fill up some We can talk about Better Call Saul spoilers While she's gone That's good

Because I haven't seen The new season So go fill up some... We can talk about Better Call Saul spoilers while she's gone. That's good, because I haven't seen the new season. So go ahead. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert for Better Call Saul. Skip ahead to this time in the pot. Sorry if you're an audio listener, you can't see it, but Luke, put the time where we stop talking about when she comes back so everyone on screen can see it.

Thanks, Luke. Mike's sucking Jimmy's cock at the end of the episode. Dude. Had me... My jaw was on the floor. I literally. I did not fucking expect that shit. Bravo Vince, the last thing I fucking expected.

You know, it's like with all the recent like deaths and stuff. I'm like, where are they fucking going to take this? How's the transition going to happen? But like to just have it go from just like, it was a hard cut too. Like I was stunned by it. It went through a beautiful kind of like desert landscape that all of a sudden just... It was fucking awesome. Real talk, the time change shit was really awesome.

Cool. And I thought it was the perfect way to kind of go into the time change. No, dude. From the Jimmy era to the Saul era. That was the best episode. That is one of the best episodes of television I have ever seen in any show. Like that's kind of up there with Ozymandias from Breaking Bad for me. I still think Ozymandias is better.

No, Ozymandias, it's going to be very hard to top. Yeah. Same with Tauhajli. We still have four episodes left of Better Call Saul, though. And these are the same writers that wrote Ozymandias. Mm-hmm. So, you know, here's what I'll say, man. There's still a lot to cover.

We can talk about spoilers because we already gave everyone the warning. Yeah. Basically basically the time skip you know Better Call Saul we've you guys have listened to us talk about it for years

because we've been watching it as the season progressed since it came out yeah I watched the first episode live

when it aired on TV and I loved it and now there's only four episodes left and they finally everyone the big question

is like what's the transition from Jimmy to Saul because they're expecting it to be this moment or a lot to Saul? Because they're expecting it to be this moment. Or a lot of people are, for some reason, expecting it to be like this moment that it switches. And they do this beautiful, beautiful fucking time jump from the end of the Better Call Saul, like Jimmy era, to the Saul era from Breaking Bad. But I'm guessing it's still like apparently from what people

found about a license. It's only like a year and a half in the future. Yeah well it's like a year it's a year and a half from the actual Better Call Saul event. Right. Which Breaking Bad starts. Or from the actual Breaking Bad event. Well Breaking Bad starts in November 2008. And this is 2005. Five. So there's

still a lot of time. I do know that episode 12 of this season has Walt and Jesse. That's been leaked. Hey, what's up, dude? Hunter's coming into town soon, right? Me, Canyon? Is he? Well, he hasn't told my white ass. Yeah, he hasn't told me either.

Oh, so Justin's been talking to Hunter. Going behind our backs. Jim, while she's pissing, do you want to sit down? Oh, no, no no no Jim it's fine I like the first one The first one was way better The cheaper one is better

It's too sweet it was way too sweet You want to try this Jim this is the expensive one Jim you can chill if you want Yeah just like appear in the next frame Jim I have to piss so you can take my role for the podcast? Jim, this is the expensive one. No, I'm just going to try it. Jim, you can chill if you want. Yeah, just like appear in the next frame. Actually, Jim, I have to piss

so you can take my role on the podcast. That one's better. No, that's the cheap one or that's the expensive one? That's the expensive one. I like that one. Taste the cheap one.

Yeah, taste the cheap one. Taste the cheap one. There's maybe a drop. It's too sweet. Oh, fuck. I drank it all. See if you can get a... Thank you.

I like funky wines. See if you can get a drop out of there, Jim. If not, there's a sip in my cup. Jim trying to squeeze his cock while having sex. There's a sip of my cup. What did you just say? Nothing. If it's a drop.

Is there no... Was there no... I'm just going to sip mine now. Here, Jim. I got to go pee, so... Take Matt's place. Jim, I got a lot of funky wines I wanted to show you But now after seeing that

Maybe I can't show you I just don't really like that It's okay I'm not a big champagne guy Champagne What? Not really Champagne's so nice

We were talking about The Better Call Saul Spoilers No more spoilers The new season There's a blowjob Are they all Nice

Are they all Jimmy I gotta suck your cock. Jimmy, I don't want to do this. Jimmy, it's time for me to suck your penis. Oh, Mike. Nice. Mike, please. Mike.

Mike, I... What's this Saul voice? I don't know. I don't know. That's pretty good. Is that good? Did I get a Bob Odenkirk? That's him.

It's like a little bit Kirk. Howard's in the corner. No, you're coming back in. You're taking Matt's place. Jimmy. Yeah. Wait, wait. Howard goes.

Go piddle. Jimmy, I could suck a better cock than that. Yep. Spoilers. Spoilers. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

All right. I was telling her about how big of a fan Odenkirk is. Yeah. Jim, have you ever like officially been on the podcast? No, I've never been on the podcast. This is the first time you've visibly been on the podcast. Yeah. No, I've never been on a podcast. This is the first time you've visibly been on a podcast. You've seen my ass, I think, a couple times. A third of Jim's name and his Twitter handle. Not his Twitter handle.

Cross it out. Let's go ahead and blur it out. Yeah. Let's go ahead and, Jim, tell everyone about it. Maybe if you have a Snapchat or something. You're not supposed to be on Twitter. A Snapchat? I'm not a fucking dude. Well, Jim, you're always on K be on Twitter. A Snapchat? I'm not a fucking dude.

Well, Jim, you're always on Kik. What's your WhatsApp? I'm not on Kik. Don't say that. What's your WhatsApp? I don't have a WhatsApp either. I don't mess with all that other stuff. If you have a Snapchat at this age, you're a pervert.

I still Snapchat my friends. I mean, we used to send each other all the time snaps of us pissing. I was about to say, it was about to be a pooper piss. Well, it was mainly me committing the sin where I would, we would send each. What? Committing the sin? I see that smile. Should I not say this one?

Can I tell this one? And it wasn't just you. It was a lot of people. Dude, the more you allude to it, the worse it sounds. Just say it. Okay, well, let's hear a wild guess. What do you think it is? you it was a lot of people dude the more you allude to it the worse it sounds just say okay well let's let's hear a wild guess what do you think it is i think you would send a video of you from a certain angle shitting into a toilet yes wow but i didn't right but i but i didn't but i didn't like those are you sure no i like the peeing ones the peeing ones see i have friends

that really like the shitty ones and i don't like seeing your orifice gape open. Oh, it was from that angle, dude? Yeah, no, it was Jim. I thought it would at least be from like... No, Jim, it's like in and in. No, no. Front facing camera. I haven't done this in years.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. I have one question. I have one question. Have you shit on your phone? No. What? What? No.

Jim! He was putting it. He said he would put it like close to the hole. Jim, it's very... I've peed on your phone? No. What? What? No. Jim! He was putting it, he said he put it like close to the hole. Jim, it's very I've peed on my phone before. What? Ryan! Accidentally, it wasn't on purpose. Ryan accidentally peed on your phone! You don't do it on purpose. God damn it.

How did you pee on your phone? By, because there's a shot you can get where the stream's going over the phone. Yeah, okay, I know what you're talking about Yeah, cuz Ron and I send pictures to you when you're at the urinal where basically and in guys listening This is a fantastic picture to great angle somebody Ryan taught me this the first time I saw it I lost my shit. I didn't even think about that. I'm visualizing. Let me go. Okay ready? So you have the the phone like right here your keen you pee over the phone

So the stream is in front of the camera and then you just put your face in it, so it's just like it's just Great ain't yeah, that's funny. I hate it new dude. Oh No, no that I just put the camera there and pissed it looks like you peed all over that phone by the way But you didn't I didn't pee on the phone. I You looks like you missed you pee on Into the urinal I know I peed it was a toy you peed you pee on? Did you pee into the urinal? No, I peed in the toilet. You peed on the toilet or into the toilet? Into the toilet. Some got on the toilet, but I will say, I...

After I finished shooting that shot, I was like, okay, there's some piss. I did my due diligence, and I got a ton of toilet paper, and I wiped down the toilet seat, I wiped the floor, just to make sure. Because I'm not gonna be that guy that's gonna fucking piss on the toilet seat and bounce. Cause guys that do that, fuck you. Yeah. If you're one of those, and I know there's

at least... Wait, wait, wait. What about, do you guys wash your hands after you pee? Yes. Yeah. Most of the time.

Matt just lied. I know when Matt's lying. Matt just lied. No, he doesn't know when I'm lying. Yes, I do. Jim doesn't know me. Dude, I know you very well.

With soap. He's lying again. Yeah, with soap. Yeah, with soap. He's lying again. Yeah, with soap. Yeah, with soap. He's lying again! He's lying again! Oh, man. Hey, remember, I do remember you telling me

one thing about you taking a poop video where you missed the toilet. No, that was Ryan. And that's one of our most famous podcast moments of all time. What? I think the episode is called The Disaster. I was doing one of the angles where it was gonna be... The angles?

Like me, it would be like an empty toilet bowl and then it would go Yeah, right, Ryan. Right into the bowl. And instead of going There's two angles, ready? There's the inside the toilet bowl with the front facing camera, and then there's the like you know, have some space here, film it like this and then blast

it ryan was doing one of those but he was like standing up wait do y'all know this story dude i remember i just remember ryan said one time i missed and i think that was it's been like 200 podcast episodes in this story and it's mo it's a lot of people's favorite stories so you can i would love for you to read from your perspective it's a lot of people's favorite stories. So you can retell it. I would love for you to read. From your perspective it's a lot better. But you gotta make sure to talk into a mic. Dear God. Talk into a mic, Matt.

Because even though you're far away, the voice still, these mics want you to be close to it. Yeah, go for it. This is what it feels like to be a guest on the Super Mega Cast. Seats, yeah. Go for it. Tell your truth, Matt. Yeah, here we go. So this is what it feels like to be a guest on the Super Mega Cast. That's pretty nice, right?

It's a comfy couch. It's good. It's a comfy couch. Yeah, it's nice. It's a clown girl. She was sexy as hell. Tell you what. But basically, big comfy couch.

A clown girl. What are you talking about about go on with the story uh Ron and I used to live in this apartment complex in Glendale where we started Super Mega right

and that's the founding establishment yes and we recorded in our apartment Super Mega was erected actually at Markiplier's old place

technically at Markiplier's house where we where we created Super Mega and we recorded some of the first Let's Play there but then we moved very quickly like the next week into a place and that's where we did the first podcast, we did the first everything. So

you know, it's an apartment complex with elevators to get to the floor we're on and you have to have a fob to get up. We're out walking around Glendale and Ryan's like, fuck, I gotta take a fucking shit dude. I'm like, alright, we're on the way back. He's like, no, no and ryan's like dude fuck i gotta take a fucking shit dude and i'm like all right we're on the way back he's like no no no no i gotta take a shit and he beelines it and i and i you know i kind of follow him we get use our fob we get into the

lobby and ryan's like we weren't about to go up into it because why would i have done that in there no i remember we were leaving we were going up oh we were going upstairs oh but I was said you said no I can't wait yeah I have to go here and he ran to the uh lobby toilet lobby toilet because there's like a bathroom that's a nice bathroom it is that was a really nice or it was like it was yeah it was and right you know I I sit in the lobby to wait for him and I and I'm sitting on like the you know like the couch where people that are looking at leasing sit. I'm sitting there and I'm like, on my phone, just chilling. This is what, 2016? Yeah.

Ryan's in there for like 10, 15 minutes. And he comes out just white as a ghost. And he's got this look on his face. And he's like, let's go up to the apartment. And I'm like, what? Are you okay? And he's like, check your phone. Check your Snapchat.

And I open this Snapchat. And it's like, you know when a video starts and like the first frame there's no flash and then like you see the flash turn on it's like that it's like it's like and it's just it's the empty toilet it's the toilet bowl like the inside of the toilet bowl and you just hear this god-awful sound but you see nothing happen you see nothing happen on the toilet. No! You see nothing happen. And it's just empty. And the phone sits still for a second and it shakes and stops. And Ryan lets me know that

he was like standing up to take this video. Just overshot completely. Missed the toilet. I sent you a picture of it. I saw a picture of it. I saw a picture, dude. It's literally like, imagine like a public toilet and like someone,

I don't even know how to describe it, like took like a, like if you took like a Ziploc bag of chocolate pudding and you got like a, like an MLB, like famous pitcher to throw it as hard as they could

at the back of the toilet. That's what it looked like. And it was everywhere. I cleaned it up. He got on his knees and he spent 10 minutes cleaning and gagging. And I wish I had that fucking video. That was before you could record the iPhone screen.

And holy shit, it's now just in our memories. You do a good job of describing it, though. Oh my god. That's probably the hardest I think I've ever laughed in my entire life. I still remember laughing harder than I think I ever have. That's absolutely disgusting. I'm really glad that you cleaned it up, though. That shows you're a respectable human being.

Thank you. I clean my piss up. But you don't wash your hands. I said I wash my piss up But you don't wash your hands I did I never I said I wash my hands Jim Well Clean

That reaction I Smells hands I washed my hands When I first went to the restroom here And the soap was dry The soap was dry when I Wow

So Wait the bar of soap The bar of soap I don't Wait, the bar of soap? I don't fucking use a bar of soap. I used to fucking... The Meyers. There is a pumpy one. Every sink in this place has a pumpy thing. No, no.

I checked. There was no pumpy one or else I would have used it. Instead, I had to use a bar of soap with like a pube on it or something. It was probably facial hair. Yeah. Not pubes. Jim? No. You shower here. Jim, you actually showered here yesterday. I. Not pubes. Jim? No.

You showered here. Jim, you actually showered here yesterday. I showered here yesterday, but I used a hand towel and I dried off in the shower. Oh, God damn it. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You used a hand towel? That hand towel that I used to open all the champagne with? See it?

Yeah. Yeah, bring that hand towel up Is that the same one This is how we're all gonna get pregnant This one Jim Oh yeah that's Is that it Dude that's what I used to open the champagne

I was There was no full size towel So I had to use this I've been Rav and Lex are crashing here and they take all the towels. Yeah. Rav has this thing where he wants to be environmentally friendly so he wipes his ass with towels and then he washes it in the washing machine. It's perfectly natural and fine.

It is. It's recycling. Yes, and honestly it's saving- you know, his carbon footprint is reduced. But basically that- Yes. The towels are brown now though. When he drinks bleach it does leave that yeah residue but basically like i needed to open these and i know that like to open a champagne

bottle you need a fucking so i walked around the house the plex i walked around some mega plex i'm like i need something to open this and i went in the bathroom and i saw that and i was like oh okay cool like this is people just use their hands to wash this. It's the only towel by the shower. It's touched. That towel has touched. Jim, I think it's about time that you take that towel back to where it came from and give Matt his seat back. It's making me uncomfortable.

We all make mistakes. And I think this one's not my mistake. I think it's Matt's mistake. Okay, actually, Jim, no, it is your mistake because if you dried your cock and balls and ass off with that towel, why did you hang it back up on the fucking towel rack? Because that's where towels go! As we all use our hands to dry our hands. Yes, it's where towels go, but...

I put it on the towel rack! I put it on the hand towel rack! If you towel your asshole off, and then put it as the only towel in the bathroom, so when I wash my hands and turn around, I'm like, oh, here we go. No. That's immoral what's a guy to do in this situation he just never knew he didn't think the truth would come out no I didn't think he would use this fucking towel

and I think he should go spend some time in town okay goodbye no Jim everyone that's you know you've heard us talk about Jim a lot that's our newest employee that's Jim he know, you've heard us talk about Jim a lot. That's our newest employee at the Super Mega Flex. That's Jim. He runs the social media.

He's like our faux manager. You can take your seat back. He does the most work at Super Mega out of anyone. Or you can take Matt's seat. Oh, yeah, sure. We're going to wrap it up here in a bit, I'm sure. Sure, yeah. Jim does more work at Super Mega than anyone else combined. More than you guys?

No, not half. No. We're the hardest working humans on YouTube. I see that. People don't see that sometimes and it really pisses us off. Yeah. They say we're lazy

and we're not producing as much content as we did back when we were young and passionate. Happy lives, free time. But guess what? Yeah. Guess what? Eddie Burback drops one video every two months. And he doesn't get any fucking shit.

And no one's fucking mad about that. No, nobody's. We drop 20 videos a month and people go, not enough. Fuck. There's no winning. There's no fucking winning. There's no fucking winning with these people. That's the internet.

It is. That's showbiz, baby. That's showbiz, baby. It's Hollywood. Anyway, Sabrina. What's up? Please let everyone know where they can find you. You want to plug anything?

Are you part of a pyramid scheme you want to promote? Yeah. I'm not part of any pyramid schemes. Do you have like an Amazon wish list? I don't. I don't. I'm just Abelina. I have mine posted on.

We should both publicly post ours. Sorry, not to talk about me. Yeah, not to manplain over me. Manplain? Yeah, because there's no S in mansplain. There's no man. It's not about the letters. It's about the consonants and the sounds.

Again, they're manplaining to me. That's literally how it works. English, like the letters don't fucking matter. C, that makes multiple sounds. Cuh. No. Yeah. J, what fucking jif? Or G, multiple sounds. Cuh. No. Yeah. J, what, fucking jif?

Or G, jif? Gif. Giraffe? Goop? What are we going to do with all this salad? No, you're going to eat it and you're going to like it.

Well, you can take it home. Yeah, that's your souvenir from the office. We were going to give you a copy of our book, but we decided to give you I already read it. You didn't like it?

How does it end? It's okay. How does it end? It's like it? How does it end? It's so good. How does it end? Oh, how does it end? What political figure do we kill at the end? So, Matt and Matt kill a five-year-old, and then in the book, they have a lot going on.

You actually read the book? Mm-hmm. You've actually read the book? Yeah. That's actually surprising. Have you actually read the book? You've actually read the book? That's actually surprising. That really warms my heart. Thank you for reading the book. Not many of our friends have read it.

They're like, oh, these guys, you know. Well, Justin didn't read it until he knew there was a test for it. Yeah, and we lost the footage of that. But Sabrina. Yeah, we lost the footage. In a couple months, we'll redo that video. We'll have to write a brand new test, though. Okay. Thank you for coming on the podcast.

Do you guys want to go get ramen? I'm down to get ramen. What do you want people to get for you, though? What do you mean? Where can they find you? Oh, you can find me at abelianciabruna.com. No, abelianciabruna. Luke, you're going to have to put that on screen.

Subtitles, do something. And also go donate to invisible people. Invisible people. Donate to invisible people. Wait, is there also an organization called Invisible Children? Those are for all the invisible children who didn't make it to creation. Who got aborted. They need money to...

I'm so glad I wasn't aborted. Me too. Aren't you glad you weren't aborted? They need money too. I'm so glad I wasn't aborted. Me too. Aren't you glad you weren't aborted? No. Checkmate. Anywhere else? Got a YouTube channel? No, yeah.

YouTube.com slash Avelina Sabrina. You stream on Twitch? I stream on Twitch at twitch.tv slash Avelina Sabrina. Luke, throw it up. It's in the description. Everyone, go check out Sabrina. She's a wonderful friend of ours. And when we're all 65, we'll probably still be drinking wine and goofing off.

Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah, so I guess that's the end of this episode. Sabrina, thank you. That's all, folks. This is our longest episode in a very long time. Should I burn myself? Psych.

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