supermegashow - EP 326 - Clothed On Camera (ft. Zackass)
Episode Date: December 15, 2022Zackass joins the pod to help us find a Cicis Pizza. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/supermega and get on your way to b...eing your best self. So start your credit journey with Chime. Sign up takes only two minutes and doesn’t affect your credit score. Get started at https://chime.com/super Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well.
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I think my assistance is requested out here.
I apologize.
It's okay.
I think, from what I remember, they're wanting to somehow tase Matt in the episode for some reason.
Sorry, that was, you know, we do the monthly penis inspections.
Oh, okay.
Justin fell short a little this month, unfortunately.
Which makes me think he might have been semi-chubbed last time we did it, which you know the rule.
None of that, so I think he's been trying to lie.
But sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
No, it's fine.
It's all good.
But yeah, ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special guest today.
We have the one, the only, Zachass.
What's up, guys?
There you go.
That is the Zachass.
You might know him from his goofy videos where he's hurting himself,
or you might know him from the new Jackass movie, Jackass Forever.
So welcome to the podcast.
Thanks for having me.
Absolutely.
We won't prank you or hurt you or anything.
Nice.
That's great.
But I would like to, after the podcast, I would like to see you hit yourself in the nuts or, you know, something like that for my own enjoyment.
But, yeah, welcome.
You're guests we've wanted for quite some time.
Yeah.
And I think that maybe. Now's the perfect time to have you on because, I mean,
we're all probably as famous as we'll ever be at this point in our lives.
Matt and I are successful YouTubers.
One of the most.
Very successful.
And you're a successful film movie star.
What would you classify yourself as?
Stuntman?
I mean, technically that's what I would be classified as right now.
I don't know, but I'm doing stand-up now.
I'm starting to act.
I write, too.
Oh, nice.
Trying to do everything.
You're writing for TV shows or sketches?
I wrote for some TV stuff and like I just wrote a movie
and like I'm just working on different shit.
We tend to, whenever we're like,
we're going to write a script down for something,
we'll like write like a very vague kind of sentence on what happens
and most of it leads to just us just bullshitting our way through the shoot.
Yeah, we always, like we're not much of script writers.
We kind of just write bullshit sentences
and then just,
just go off of that.
Every time we try
to write an actual script,
we don't really follow it.
We don't really ever
try to write actual scripts.
That's always fun, though.
Just like,
yeah.
We usually don't write scripts.
Like,
when we do sketch comedy,
we're just like,
all right,
this is the idea.
Let's sit down and shoot it.
Because I think with a script,
you have, like,
the idea, like, in your head, this, yeah, sure, this You have like the idea like in your head this yeah sure this will sound great
But then in practice it like will feel like stilted or awkward. Yeah, and it doesn't feel natural
Hmm, maybe that's just us as writers. We're not we might just not be good
No, we wrote a book. Yeah writers. Yeah, you write a book. You're you're automatically like very talented. Yeah Once your name is on a book with good writers? Yeah. You write a book, you're automatically like very talented. Yeah, definitely.
Once your name is on a book.
Are you gonna write a memoir
when you're old about all the times you've hurt yourself?
Probably.
I could see me doing that at some point.
So I've followed you
since
2018
or 2019.
Yeah.
I loved your videos
because after Jackass 3,
I was like,
I don't think they're going to make any more.
So I had to get my fix of watching people
be dumb and hurt themselves on Instagram.
And I followed you and a couple other guys
and I was like,
man, this guy is awesome.
Really hurts himself.
I mean, I was thrilled when I saw
that you were tapped into the new Jackass movie.
That's how I found out, because of your excitement.
Yeah.
And I think the first video you showed me was like the cactus video.
Yeah.
Yeah, that shit was gnarly.
Yeah, so before it started, we were talking about the cactus video.
the cactus video.
The one I'm thinking of is when you're on the bike and you go off the little ramp
directly falling flat into the cacti.
Yeah.
I don't know if we're allowed to show the clip
without copyright.
I don't know if it really matters.
Well...
I mean, it's on Steve-O's thing,
so it might copyright it.
Luke, you could throw it in.
We could test it to see if not.
You could just show it and censor it to see if not but you just
show it and censor it put a mosaic blur over it exactly yeah just stretch it a lot mirror it um
but yeah that like how I I'm always shocked when I watch that stunt because you you come out of it
so so happy yeah I was just happy to be out honestly you're like it's a beautiful day yeah it was like
well it took forever
for Steve to actually get me out
it makes it seem like I just got right out
but I was in there for like a while
and he had to pull me out with a rope
and like what felt cause it was just on a random
like we're just like up in the hills
like in this like near this random
in this random location
where there's a giant cactus patch
and where i was laying it started like cracking or i would have like fallen like farther down
oh they would have needed like i would need assistance from like someone like an airlift
yeah pull you out of the cacti yeah it would have sucked but uh yeah you just got up or i'm guessing
it was very very very painful uh yeah but but you afterwards you're just like that
was awesome yeah and and honestly uh we were talking before the podcast he was saying um
a lot of the he went to the doctor and uh they were all like fully in a lot of the needles so
you couldn't even get them out yeah we took out all the ones that we could we're coming up with
like we were trying to figure out different ways like get them out like we're using like there was like a duct tape
method where you just put the duct tape on rip it off yeah you can get like do like body waxing
which was a horrible idea because i had to sunburn from being like up in the like up there like doing
the sun so it took like two hours like set up and then uh you know so we did the body waxing that
fucking sucked and didn't get any of them out
at all just made me hairless that's like a double torture because you have the needles you have
sunburn and you have hair on you so it's like yeah and then like we but we pulled all the ones
out we could and i went to the doctor and went to a random urgent care and they were just like
yeah this is fucked up like you have sun poisoning um they were more like, yeah, this is fucked up. Like, you have sun poisoning.
They were more concerned about my sunburn.
Really?
Yeah, they were so concerned about that.
Like, yeah, you have a couple thousand cacti needles,
but the sunburn's looking pretty bad.
Yeah, you have a horrible sunburn.
Like, they put me on, like, steroids for the fucking thing.
And then, like, yeah.
And they're like, yeah, you also look like you have a staph infection and
i was like getting dizzy just like doing random stuff and i was like dude i had like a fever and
shit like i was it was bad they gave me antibiotics and then uh everything like everything just got
better but the the needle they said it was like they couldn't get the needles out they're like
we can't do that they're gonna they'll reject naturally with the antibiotics and just over time.
Your body just pushes them out.
Yeah, but it was more
like, they came out a little
bit, but it took
a good week and then I was used to having
needles in me. I could feel them
when I put my clothes on. Anytime
I moved, anytime I would lay down, it was
fucking horrible. How long did it take for them all
to just get out?
It was like three and a half months to get all the needles out.
Jesus.
You're not still...
No, I don't have any that I know of.
I think I might have one on my knee, but that's about it.
It's like a souvenir from that stunt, right?
It's like you can take that with you.
Yeah, eventually it'll come out maybe.
Jesus Christ.
I didn't know about the sunburn thing.
Yeah.
That's like a triple whammy.
That sucks.
That was horrible. So you got st the sunburn thing. Yeah. That's like a triple whammy. That sucks. That was horrible.
So you got staph infection from that.
Yeah.
You had the full of needles and you had sun poison.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
That's like a torture in Dante's Inferno.
Like having the severe sunburn and a back full of needles.
Was it just your back or was it like-
It was my back, my stomach.
I had them in my hands.
I had them everywhere.
When I was a kid,
there was like a prickly pear
and I just grabbed it off a cactus
and I got a shit ton of tiny ones in my hand.
But I can't even imagine that even...
How big were the needles?
Some of them were like...
Some of them were small,
but some of them were like that big.
Like, you know, they were huge.
And like, there's like...
In the video,
Steve-O pulls one out of my arm
and it looks like it's just barely in there. But it comes like all the way out. Like, it know, they're huge. And, like, there's, like, in the video, Steve-O pulls one out of my arm, and it looks like it's just barely in there.
But it comes, like, all the way out.
Like, it was, like, deep.
It was, like, an inch or two in.
Like, it was fucked.
Do you have, like, just, like, a high pain tolerance?
You've got to have a high pain tolerance.
I do, but, like, it still hurts, you know?
Yeah.
I'm guessing when you do a stunt like that,
the adrenaline...
Is there a lot of adrenaline?
I mean, yeah. I mean, it was... adrenaline Is there a lot of adrenaline? I mean yeah, I mean it was there's definitely a lot of adrenaline before doing it Do you do all the stunts like sober? Yeah? Yeah? I mean I do
I mean there's been times where I haven't done some sober, but might not hurt as bad
Yeah, it's like it's not the same
And it's yeah like it's just funnier if you can if you could do a stunt like that fully sober you are yeah
I think you're a lot more badass.
Yeah, like, I did, like, all the, like, jackass sober.
Right.
That was good, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, those guys are, like, that's been a cool journey to watch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I imagine that stunts are fun, but not as sustainable, like, as older yeah no it isn't and like it's crazy
that steve has been able to do it for so long yeah but he's like really healthy you know yeah
yeah yeah and like i am not like it's not really like and it just sucks like getting hurt all the
time yeah it doesn't seem fun yeah i feel like there's like a limit right yeah it's like fun
in the moment like doing the movie and everything seem fun. I feel like there's like a limit, right? Yeah, it's like fun in the moment.
Like doing the movie
and everything with them
was amazing.
And like doing stupid shit
with the right people
is always really fun.
You like remember
that shit forever.
But like I just don't
want to do it.
I don't want to do that
forever.
Ryan, you had a series
you filmed growing up.
Oh, yeah.
It was based off of Jackass when i was like really
young called jack butt where we would just like put each other in porta potties and like
shake them and tip them over or send someone into like a house under construction and
hunt them down with airsoft guns i tried to do stuff like that but i i was just the cameraman
i didn't want to i didn't want to i
didn't want to get hurt so i had friends that like to hurt themselves so i would just film them do it
and uh that's sort of how i started out like doing like stuff like that like i would film my friends
doing stupid shit but then eventually it was like it's so funny watching me do it and then like or
like i would come up with something and they wouldn't want to do it, so I would do it. But yeah, I was making tons of stupid videos when I was a kid, too.
And then into high school, and now.
That's how, yeah.
I mean, same thing for us.
We started making stupid videos in 2007, 2008, and still going strong.
Yeah.
So we should, after this, maybe we should do a stunt.
We could roll you off the roof.
We got a bunch of trash here.
Got like glass bottles and stuff.
That would be fine. Just line it up with glass.
We can get tax.
We do have a lot of tax here.
Get a lot of tax.
It would be a nice soft landing.
I'm sure you're asked this a lot,
but what is the most painful
stunt or not stunt? What's the like, the, I'm sure you're asked this a lot, but what is the most painful, like, what's the, stunt or not stunt?
What's the most painful thing that you've ever been through?
Non-emotional pain.
Non-emotional.
Physical pain.
Okay, physical pain.
I have a long list for both.
Yeah.
So, like, stunt-wise, okay, like, the worst nut shot that I've ever done, like, just was I put a skateboard out on the spine ramp and I run and jump on it.
And, like, knowing that, like, with my weight it's going to break in, I'm going to nut shot on the ramp.
Oh, my God.
And that was the worst nut shot I've ever done in my life.
That fucking sucked.
It was, like, one of the worst pains.
life that fucking sucked um it was like one of the worst pains um were like other than that like the cactus thing sucked but then getting burned sucks way more i think burns the for me personally
burns are the worst yeah burns are definitely the worst and not like something that i usually want
to do but it's it's happened an accident like many times for me um probably when i did the suicide vest which is just like i took like firecrackers and like
i'm familiar yeah that one i didn't really think about tape how i was taping the fuse to my body
and it just like went all around i had like second and third degree burns like all over my body
that fucking sucked oh Oh, my God.
There's a video where I try to, like,
I was, like, trying to shoot myself in the nuts with, like, a 12-gauge flare gun,
and I wore a bunch of, like, layers of pants and stuff,
so, like, it wouldn't actually, like, burn my nuts.
And then I shoot it, like, just point blank, like, at my crotch.
It goes in my, it goes right through the pants and gets stuck and it takes like a little bit for it to like fully ignite so it just fully ignites
stuck in the back of my pant leg like it goes in and goes all the way down my pant leg and i'm and
it just burns the shit out of my calf like i had a third degree burn from that it was fucked
oh my fucking God.
I've lit myself on fire a bunch of times, too.
And that, like, I mean, I got... Wait, like, with, like, precaution?
Like, with, like, a fire suit or just straight light yourself on fire?
Well, I mean, I've done fire suit before, too, on, like, this MTV thing.
And that was cool.
But usually you don't have the luxury of, like, having all that, like, stunt gear and, like, the gel and all the different stuff that you would use.
But I just did it, like, another way.
But I'm not going to, like, say how.
But, yeah.
I just don't want people to try to do that.
Magician never reveals his tricks.
Yeah.
So I ended up just lighting myself on fire a couple different ways.
The first time I did, I was, like, it was, like, my first, first like real viral video when i was like i was like 16 or something and it was like fat kid lights himself on fire
or like a couple places like shared it as like fat kids burns calories
and uh that like i was like really engulfed in flames it was not really um i didn't really get
too burned but then like the next time like
one time i did this other thing where i was like i light my it keeps i can't even put it online
because it gets deleted um but i'm like fully like on fire and i jump off this ladder and nut shot on
this thing and try to land in a kiddie pool completely miss the kiddie pool because i'm
so on fire and it burns and i couldn't even even get into it. So I'm just rolling around, like, freaking the fuck out.
And then someone puts me out of the fire extinguisher.
Jesus fucking Christ.
And that burned my face, actually.
But it wasn't, like, you know, long-lasting, like, injury, I guess.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
The closest I can do is I just, you know, you'd, like, spray it.
You'd, like, either, like, hand sanitizer.
You'd spray Axol over your hand and light it on fire.
Oh, yeah.
You have, like, with the hand sanitizer, you, you have like three seconds before it actually burns.
Watch this.
Yeah.
It's nowhere near as cool as lighting yourself fully on fire and then doing a nut shot.
Yeah.
I think like I just could never psych myself up to do that shit.
Like there's a point where just like I stop myself.
Like for you, you're just like, like, you just break through that
wall easily?
Not easily.
Sometimes it takes a little bit, but I do it.
Yeah, it just depends, really.
It's got to prepare to be, like, a good stuntman if you're acting in something, too.
You can do your own stunts.
Yeah.
No, that would be really cool.
I think the only other thing that really was
like injury wise i was like i was sponsored by this like skate company xyz and uh i was like
actually filming a bunch of skate like actual skate videos and stuff too but i wasn't like
really that good people were just like interested in seeing like a bigger person try to skate
and like sometimes i would just fucking eat shit all the time and so it's pretty fun I was getting funny content out of it and then um I was able to like drop in and stuff
and my friends like oh you should do this roll and grind and it's just like I would just ride down
and then I'm already on the on the fucking ledge to grind on but I didn't really know how to ollie
off like I couldn't do it so I just kept falling weird. And then I fell back in a weird way.
And all my weight went onto my leg.
My leg just snaps in half.
And it was fucked.
That was probably the worst.
It was like...
As soon as it happened, it felt like in Mortal Kombat
when they show their bones breaking.
I literally saw it in my head.
I'm like, okay, I just broke my leg. I know I did. i literally saw it like in my head i'm like okay
i just broke my leg like i know i did like i saw it break just like in my head and then uh
and then i looked down and like my legs just all flopping around and shit um yeah that was horrible
um i started like i almost started crying and then i just get completely calm and i'm like
call 9-1-1 please that's good because if you were crying you would have looked like a pussy
People still said that regardless like it was it was like dude you were crying
Like dude, you're such a pussy for that. I broke my leg like in half. I would also cry
Yeah, I think anyone would it's so funny like the comment like people were wishing me the worst
They're like, oh, you don't get better.
We hope you get your leg amputated.
You know when you break a bone, like, immediately.
It's like, okay, that's broken.
I broke my foot in high school.
And I remember I, like, stood up and I took, like, two steps and was like, that is broken.
You've never broken a bone?
Mm-mm.
The worst thing that, like, the worst injury I've ever had was in the boxing match
when they fucked up my nose and I had to get surgery to fix it.
Dude, your nose was just like this.
It was huge.
I was stubborn, though.
For two straight months, I was like, oh, it's just swollen.
You couldn't breathe.
No, I couldn't breathe at all.
I finally go to the doctor.
He's like, no, it's fucked.
It's broken into pieces.
Your septum was like that afterwards.
Oh, my God.
I'm shocked I didn't break my nose with how hard I got punched in the face.
But I guess I got more straight-on punches.
You got the side punches.
You broken your nose?
No, I hope I never do.
That sounds horrible.
How many bones have you broken? Just my leg and so it's tip fib so it's cool I heard
that's the most not heard femurs the most painful yeah femur would suck I
just feel like kill me now please send me um yeah just like that I broke my
pinky once like trying to karate chop a bee
you broke your pinky on the bee?
no I missed if I would have hit the bee
it would have been bad either way
I thought you meant you hit the bee so hard you snapped your pinky
no I like it was on like a wooden chair
and I thought I was
trying to impress somebody
I don't know why
bees are dying at an alarming rate
check this out
so I was like I don't know why. Bees are dying at an alarming rate. It's like, yo, check this out.
So I was like, and I just broke my pinky on the chair.
You just try to play it off in the moment.
Yeah, I was just like, that was horrible.
Trying to impress someone by killing a species that we die without.
It wasn't endangered then.
I promise.
Humans would cease to exist without.
It's like, I'm going to impress this person.
And then you break your ping.
You got to play it cool.
Yeah.
It's not missed.
Whoops.
Yeah, it's fine, guys.
I'm good.
Fuck.
Fuck.
We're going to go to ad breaks.
But when we're back, Zach is going to say his favorite slur.
We've been very excited for this moment.
Been waiting.
It was your idea.
No, it was not. It was your idea. Oh, come on. moment. Been waiting. It was your idea. No, it was not.
It was your idea. Oh, come on. Were you shy now?
It was your idea.
I mean, you told Matt and I separately and together that...
I'm not going to say anything.
The only reason I'm going to do the podcast
is so you can say your favorite slur.
Okay.
Well, if you don't want to
do that segment anymore, that's cool.
But I was excited for it.
I was a little off-put by it, but...
Alright.
We'll go to ad breaks. Especially since he chose
to choose several instead of just one.
I thought it was just going to be one, but yeah. I think it's eight.
I think it's eight different slurs.
Maybe one after the ad breaks.
Yeah, maybe just one.
Yeah, no, all eight then okay angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs
projects done well i absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard
to maintain it's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a
small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality,
it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find
a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years
of home service experience,
and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process.
Bring them your project online or with the Angie app,
answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.
Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly.
Which means you can take care of just about any home project
in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home,
you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com.
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Welcome back.
Welcome back.
Looks like Zach won't be doing the segment anymore.
Privately he did.
Yes, in between the breaks.
And I will say, Zach, I don't even think they said some of those in the 20s.
Some of those hadn't been used since then.
That was impressive.
But I was noticing this earlier.
You got a lot of ink.
Yeah, I do.
How many tattoos do you have?
I have no clue.
That's how I know someone has a lot of tattoos.
I have friends, like, if you ask, like, Luke or Jim, they'll be like, I have no idea. I forget how I know someone has a lot of tattoos. I have friends, like, if you ask, like, Luke or Jim,
they'll be like, I have no idea.
I forget how many I have.
It's six.
For me, it's three.
Wait.
So, you know, I guess, like...
No, I have six, yeah.
About to be seven.
Zach, you want to decide my next tattoo for me?
Um...
I kind of have a theme going.
Sure.
With like retro technological shit.
That says mama's boy. That's from my mom.
Okay.
Uh, and then I got the 7-Eleven. Actually that's inspired by Knoxville.
Cause Knoxville has the Wawa logo on his arm.
That's dope.
And I was like, I want the 7-Eleven logo.
What is your mic doing?
I don't, I don't, I'm trying my best.
That's a mic. How is your mic doing? I'm trying my best.
How is it set? This mic, I think it was set like that
before. Do I just need to sit up higher?
It's trying to get you back to posture.
I mean, I can do that.
I guess that works. These mic arms
kind of suck. Yeah.
We could go back to the stands.
We could hold them.
We could. A lot of podcasts do that. Just hold the mic. We could get custom mics made. I don't mind to the stands. You know? We could hold them. We could. A lot of podcasts do that.
Just hold the mic.
We could get custom mics made.
I don't mind holding the mic.
I mean, wait.
You do stand-up.
Yeah.
That's one thing that I think, like, I would rather do a stunt and be hurt than to go up
on stage and, like like just try out something.
That seems like the most nerve wracking thing.
Stand up does seem,
I've always wanted to do it,
but I'm too scared.
Yeah.
I'm like pretty new to it.
Um,
but,
uh,
but yeah,
no,
it is like sort of like,
I definitely get probably sometimes more anxious than when I would do a stunt like before.
Um,
and it's like,
like everyone bombs sometimes, you know, I think that's like you like everyone bombs sometimes you know i think that's
like you have to you have to like learn and everything too has it happened yet have you
bombed yet oh yeah a couple times it's been bad i think we've we haven't we don't do stand-up but
we've done like live comedy we've done four tours we've we've definitely bombed before i wouldn't i
don't know about like straight bombing, but we definitely-
It's more of jokes would not land in secession.
Yeah, and it's like, oh.
Because a lot of it's the audience energy.
Or you get confident and try something out and then doesn't really work. You're like, okay, nevermind.
Yeah.
Like you think one thing's gonna be hilarious and no one fucking cares at all.
I hate that. It's my least favorite.
I'm like, this is gonna get them.
I say it and two people laugh.
I'm like, why?
It's funny.
Why?
Why'd no one laugh?
I'm sorry.
I'm still fucking with you.
It's okay.
It's trying to remind you of your posture.
Do your whole set.
Oh my god, no.
We'll judge it.
We'll save our laughter for the end.
Oh my god.
How long is your typical stand-up set?
I mean, right now, I mean, I have, like, a solid, like, 10 right now.
But, like, I started, I added some more stuff to it.
It's, like, around 15.
It's been, like, writing a lot more shit.
So, just trying new stuff out, seeing what works, what doesn't.
Because you're going on tour with Steve-O, right?
Yeah.
And just opening with stand-up?
Yeah, I opened for him once before,
and that was really cool.
But I think it was just maybe like 10 minutes or whatever,
and I'm going to probably do that.
I'll probably do 10-minute sets again when I go.
It's like, ah, thanks, Zach.
Yeah, pretty much. Did great. I love Steve-O's voice. It's Ed's again. Here we go. It's like, ah, thanks, Ed. Yeah, pretty much.
Did great.
I love Steve-O's voice.
It's a fantastic voice.
It's great.
There's only one like it.
There's only one like it. Yeah.
And it's Steve-O.
Did you edit the Game Grumps episode
when he came on?
I can't remember.
Because we used to work
for a YouTube channel
called Game Grumps
that he was a fan of
and he did an episode
or two with them
and I didn't edit that one.
Maybe.
Maybe that was before we even started working
there. Because I don't remember
meeting him.
He's come on more than once.
Didn't he go on like twice?
We've never officially met him but we've been in the
same room as him. Remember at the
Hollywood
Improv? Nick Swartzen?
That too. Same night.
But Steve-O was upstairs and he was shooting those promos.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like, holy shit, that's Steve-O.
This was fun.
Real fun.
But we ask all our podcast guests
this. Ron, you can
ask him if you want.
Okay.
So, if you had to choose between how the world is now and there being what some refer to a white ethno state which side it's not
the question you it's not the one i was talking about huh it's not the one i was talking about
that's what i was we nixed that question from the roster.
Luke just...
Alright.
Israel or Palestine?
Oh my god.
I don't even know anything about
this. About Israel or
Palestine? No.
Well,
that's a pretty good response, honestly.
Ryan's Palestinian, so.
I literally don't know.
I mean, that's that, yeah.
I mean, that's what I should do
in any situation. I don't know if it could work
for certain situations, like
the Holocaust or something. I don't know what that is.
Yeah, that one doesn't work.
Israel-Palestine is very complicated.
It is. So it's like, I don't really know enough about the subject to speak on.
It's about history and land and people.
God's chosen.
It's a story.
It's a human story.
Did you grow up Christian?
Yeah, I did.
Super Christian.
Same.
Yeah.
Because we're from the south.
Yeah.
We grew up real Christian.
Yeah.
Did you grow up like what type of Christian?
Well, like my uncle was a pastor. Yeah. Did you, did you grow up like, what type of Christian? Well, like,
my uncle was a pastor. Nice. So, it was like, it, yeah, like, super Christian. I wasn't allowed to,
like, like, I couldn't, I definitely wasn't allowed to watch Jackass when I was a kid. I'd,
like, sneak to watch it. Same. Um, like, I wasn't allowed to listen to, like, certain music. I
wasn't allowed to, like, do a lot of stuff. You weren't Catholic, were you? No. Okay. It was just,
like, like, Protestant, you know. Did you go to youth group? Uh, stuff. You weren't Catholic, were you? No. Okay. I was just Protestant.
Did you go to youth group?
Yes.
Okay.
Did you have worship songs?
Did you get saved?
Yeah, dude, I did.
Like, multiple times.
Me too.
I got baptized about three times.
I got baptized, too, a couple times.
Rededicated my life.
Definitely didn't
definitely didn't dedicate
myself to that
you're serving God's higher purpose
with what you do yeah yeah that's what I
think
fucking yeah no
I was in church a lot
same okay so do you but do you remember
any of these songs like
God is an awesome God
he reigns from heaven above with wisdom,
power, and love.
Our God is an awesome God.
There we go.
So great.
I'm always hoping the people that grew up Christian
remember those bangers.
Yeah, some of them were bangers.
Dude, there was even like this poster
in the youth group room
where it said like,
if you like this band,
you should listen to this Christian band
because it's sort of similar.
Oh, they would find the popular bands
and be like,
well, here's the Christian alternative.
Yeah, they did that a lot.
Dude, my family even had this,
not in my house,
thank God,
because it's ruined movies,
but my aunt and uncle had it.
It was called The Guardian.
It was a DVD player
that would cut the bad stuff out of movies and like whoa, dude. It was insane the car
Do you have a thing how does that work? I don't know I think it finds the closed captioning
Yeah for the movie like the time and it probably just it wouldn't be able to cut everything
You know but like it would it would try to well they there was a device
It was it was pretty rare, but there I saw this on Twitter recently there was a device. It was pretty rare, but I saw this on Twitter recently.
There was a device back in the, I think, 90s where you could plug it into your TV,
and it would bleep out swear words on TV because it would use the closed captioning to find them and then beep.
Yeah.
So that's awesome.
The Guardian?
Yeah.
We got to get one of those.
Dude, it's so ridiculous.
I think there is a streaming version of it
like for streaming services and shit
cause they're still in business I looked it up
the same company? yeah same company
and they changed with the times
which is more than we can say
about a lot of companies that
kinda just stuck in
stuck in the past
of course everyone mentions like Blockbuster and all that shit
were you a big Blockbuster kid everyone mentions, like, Blockbuster and all that shit.
Were you a big Blockbuster kid?
Oh, yeah, I love Blockbuster.
There was, like, this other place, like, it was, like, box office video.
There's family video was one, like, later on.
Yeah, I think the family video is still a thing in the town where I grew up.
Like, which is sort of crazy, but it's just, just like DVDs and Blu-rays and shit now.
Okay.
They still make them. You can still buy them.
TV Guardian, the foul language filter.
Yeah.
That is awesome.
I need one of those for my own viewing pleasure.
I think there's too much sex and cussing and violence on TV these days.
Definitely need one of those.
We were talking when the podcast started.
I want to go back to this.
We were talking about CeCe's Pizza.
Yeah, CeCe's is great.
And I don't think we gave it enough love.
No, not enough.
No, you can't give it enough love.
Keep them in business.
We need everyone watching this
to go out and eat at CeCe's Pizza
because I think they're going bankrupt.
Yeah, are they always one?
They might have already declared bankruptcy.
Yeah, I watched a video about CeCe's not long ago. I think it're going bankrupt. Yeah. I think they already... The oldest one... They might have already declared bankruptcy. Yeah, it...
I watched a video
about CeCe's not long ago.
I think it was Company Man
or whatever.
Is there anyone...
Does Los Angeles have...
They don't.
CeCe's Pizza...
I tried, dude.
I tried to find one.
There's not one there.
Wasn't there one in Arizona?
No.
I'm thinking a Waffle House.
It's in a different state.
The closest real...
Like, CeCe's Pizza.
It says they quickly emerged from bankruptcy with new owners, so...
Damn it.
Oh, wait, that was...
No, no, no, there's one in Westlake.
There is?
Wait, what?
No, no, is that, like, a CeCe's Pizza?
Because, like, there's a place that's called CeCe's.
Oh, no, it's just like a brunch place called CeCe's.
Yeah, that's the place I thought thought it was and I was gonna go.
It's not real. That's fucking
bullshit. Then there's Chi-Chi's Pizza.
Which... I need
Cece's.
This type of cup,
I need one of those dirty trays.
I need my
macaroni pizza. The little arcade room
some of them had. The closest
ones of the Ceces are all permanently closed.
Like the CC CCs.
Okay, I gotta look up if they've actually gone under.
Like this whole row of just...
Yeah.
So are they fucking done?
I hope not.
If they did, I'm gonna be upset.
There's one back in...
If anyone...
If I decide to remember to look at the comments,
if anyone remembers a CCs on St. Andrews Road in Irmo, South Carolina,
please let me know if it's still there.
Because now I feel like it's a race to get my last CC's meal in.
Yeah.
CC's is undergoing a rebrand design to take the company to the next level,
despite the pandemic.
Despite it, dude.
I didn't really, that didn't come into my mind for some reason that we had like, yeah,
a global pandemic.
Yeah, yeah.
Of course, buffets.
So not a lot of people would be going to CC's Pizza.
Yeah.
People are like weirded out by buffets now.
I guess people think they're gross.
Yeah.
And there are gross buffets.
Yeah, there definitely are.
But CC's is not in that category.
It's just pizza.
You grab a slice.
If I died and went to heaven and there was like a CC's pizza up there.
Oh my God.
The smell of CC's is amazing.
You walk in.
And remember they had that like thing for like to donate pennies to charity where it's
like that big like thing you put the penny in and it would like roll around.
They had one of those at a Fuddruckers.
All those, all that type of like, all those types of restaurants have that kind of shit.
Which Fuddruckers didn't make it, unfortunately.
They would always say CC you later, like when I would leave.
Genius.
See, I just remember, welcome to CC's.
Fuddruckers didn't make it?
No, Fuddruckers is gone.
What?
Fuddruckers is gone.
Remember the one in Burbank?
Yeah.
That one's closed, and I think all of Fuddruckers is...
People don't like Fuddruckers? I loved Fuddruckers is gone Remember the one in Burbank Yeah That one's closed And I think all of Fuddruckers is People don't like Fuddruckers?
I loved Fuddruckers
I loved it
Because you could just
Pile on like a bowl of cheese
Yeah
It was just a sauce essentially
Just a cheese sauce
Just pour that on my french fries
Dude I'm gonna be honest man
That
Like pump cheese
I'm not a fan of
What?
Like the type of like
I'm a fan of
The nacho shit The You'd be hard pressed to find a
cheese that i don't like unless it's the ones with like the maggots in it like not like i don't think
you can classify that shit as cheese flavored it's cheese flavored yeah i still love craft singles
that's even though you know that's the same arguable is that cheese yeah hey i mean it's
it's got a level of cheese in it.
It's more like fake shit, but it's more like oils and shit.
I mean, Kraft Singles are delicious,
and I will still eat them just straight out of the wrapper.
But the Pump Cheese, it's just cheese-flavored goop.
A lot of the stuff you put on wheat thins.
Definitely not cheese either.
It says 100% real cheese on it.
I'm not saying it's cheese or not but do you like it
I do yeah cheese whiz
me and my dad would always fuck it
there'd be like 3 cans of that in our pantry
like when I was growing up
that tastes like dog food
that actually tastes like dog treats
it tastes just like dog treats
it was in like the movie UHF
with Weird Al
he takes a hot dog
I think he called it a Twinkie Wiener sandwich which was like UHF with Weird Al, where they, like, he takes a hot dog.
I think he called it a Twinkie Wiener Sandwich, which was, like,
you put a hot dog in a Twinkie, like, you cut the Twinkie,
and then you put Cheez Whiz on it.
What is that from?
UHF.
It's a movie from, like, the 80s with Weird Al.
I saw it back when I was a kid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can't remember most of that.
I know, like, there's the new Weird Al movie.
It's so funny.
I remember seeing, on, like, Al TV, that show. I can't remember most of that. I know there's the new Weird Al movie. It's so funny.
I remember seeing on Al TV, that show, he would talk about a Twinkie Wiener sandwich.
Yeah, I think that was a common thing for him. Might be good.
Yeah, I tried it once.
How was it?
It was okay.
On a Zach review.
The Cheez Whiz part sucked more than like, just the hot dog Twinkie combo wasn't that
bad. Yeah that sounds like that would be at least somewhat
pleasant. Cheese Whiz was overkill.
And you keep the cream inside the Twinkie still? Yeah you keep
it in. And like it was it's
not like what you normally eat but
you know. Twinkies hurt my throat.
What? Yeah. I guess I should
chew them before I swallow them. And so like I guess
like it's even funnier cause like
I think they said, like, hot
dogs take, like, five minutes off your life or something.
I've read that, like, every hot dog you eat.
Yeah.
So, like, that's, like, if you eat a bunch of those.
I'm sure Twinkies take more than five.
I feel myself.
I'm not a fucking dude.
Yeah, you could just have a Twinkie Wiener sandwich every day.
That's got to take at least a day off your life.
Two days off your life.
I remember seeing this news article of this woman that was like,
this woman's eating a Twinkie every day
since she was like 12 and now she's 85.
I'm like, that's cool.
This person only drinks Pepsi. They don't drink
water or anything.
That's not my grandma.
She drinks Diet Pepsi
all the time. That woman that only drinks
Dr. Pepper Mountain Dew.
There's a lot of old women that just love their sugary soda beverages.
My grandma had a lot of Pepsi.
And then I'd come over and my grandma would recycle yogurt cups as cups.
So she'd just give me a yogurt cup full of Pepsi.
I was like, okay.
I mean, there are glasses, but she'd wash out a yogurt cup and then just like put it up in the cupboard.
And then I come over and I get a nice yogurt cup full of Pepsi.
It was delicious.
Very interesting.
But we're going to go to another ad break.
Hopefully after this one, Zach will finally reveal his favorite slurs on camera.
But yeah.
I don't have favorite slurs.
You like them all equally then?
No, I don't like slurs.
Which ones don't you like specifically?
Oh my God.
I hate it here.
All right.
We're going to ads.
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Running around naked, slapping each other's ass as a prank.
Just pranking each other.
That happens never at an Airbnb, of course, or anything like that.
But we'll rent out studio spaces to do photo shoots and stuff.
And there'll be times where we're changing and we'll do a photo shoot naked just for a bit or something.
And then we'll look up and there had been a camera there the whole time.
Oh my God.
Like a red light on.
Yeah, we went,
we shot this video that didn't come out
and because we want to reshoot it at this point,
but we were doing like a green screen template video
where it's us doing a bunch of shit on a green screen
and then we put it online
and then people can do whatever they want with it.
But we shot a lot like butt ass naked on the green screen. screen yeah and then afterwards we're leaving and we see there's a camera and i'm like
oh no the whole time they could have just like tuned in and yeah maybe we just shouldn't get
naked in places we we don't know yeah one of the videos the other time was we were in a fucking
elevator in our own apartment complex And like I'm not thinking
Of like oh there's not
A camera in the elevator
I don't know why I think that
And then we check
And there is a camera
In the elevator
Oh it was for
It was for that video
We uh
The guys go grocery shopping
I tried to be
Be quick about it too
We get in the elevator
He gets blood ass naked
As fast as
Just so we get a shot of him
Just standing in our
Apartment's elevator
Fully nude
And then you did it quick
Cause we're on the third floor so it was like
bing! You get in really fast
put it in. Didn't I have to throw the pants
over to the side real quick so like with the hand down
you couldn't see them around my ankles?
Dude you're literally just fully butt ass naked
in the elevator and I
rewatched that video recently and I was like
holy I can't believe
we did that.
How many of the
jackass guys penises have you seen now?
Well, we've seen them too, I guess.
Like everyone, I think.
Awesome.
Yeah.
Everybody.
That's sick.
That's pretty cool.
You've seen, yeah.
You've seen some penises.
Do you have like a favorite?
Not really.
Okay.
All equal?
All the penises are equal?
Yeah. No, I know for a fact that's not true. Okay, all equal? All the penises are equal? Yeah.
No, I know for a fact that's not true.
I've seen them all.
Hmm.
What was being on set like for Jackass?
Was it a lot of shenanigans or was it pretty professional?
Yeah, I mean, it was like you're always on edge,
like thinking that something's going to happen to you, you know?
That's how I feel at this office.
Yeah, like no matter what, you think it's a prank.
So, like, it's, like, I don't know.
Yeah, it was definitely, that was difficult.
But if you get past that, you can still have fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would definitely be on edge and high alert.
I feel like it would be exhausting.
Like, I feel like being one of the main guys
of the crew, after shooting for
two months, I'd be like, I'm exhausted.
Please just don't prank me today.
Just let me relax.
Let me just fucking chill for a day.
That's where the best content comes out of is the
frustration.
What's going to be a prank and what's not.
It's funny though.
I don't know.
I welcome it.
Yeah.
I love pranks.
Yeah.
Pranks are great.
I love a good prank.
I'm a big prank man myself.
Yeah.
Love a classic prank or two.
Sticking.
No, it was someone else who would stick, like, pro, like, no, anti-abortion bumper stickers on my car.
Classic prank.
Great prank.
Well, I did.
I remember I got a bumper sticker once, and it said it was like, straight white Republican.
How else can I offend you today?
I put it on the back of his car, and we drove all the way to Vegas with it on his car.
Oh, my God.
And we were in the parking garage of our hotel, and he sees it, and he's like, well, that didn't make it't make it very far i just put it on and i was like i'm actually shocked you didn't see it because we
stopped in in we stopped at barstow for del taco the first del taco we stopped there for lunch
and you went and stood by your car and you were standing right next to it and i was like how is
he how is he not probably having a cigarette looking at my phone or some shit i thought that
i was like there's no way he didn't, and you must have seen it.
Thought it was funny and going along with it?
Or you're like, I'm not going to give him the satisfaction.
So I'm just going to take it off quietly later.
I'm going to take it off quietly later.
I wouldn't take it off just to, like, I'm that stubborn about it.
Well, I thought it was like, oh, I see it, but I'm not going to give him the satisfaction.
And then I'll take it off silently. I'm not going to give them the satisfaction and then I'll take it off silently.
I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of him knowing that I see it.
He'll never know he got me.
And then still drive with the sticker on the car.
To prank me back.
I mean, I just drove 4,000 miles
across America. There's a lot of bumper stickers like that.
Yeah.
I would guess so. I saw some good ones.
I saw some pretty good bumper stickers on tour.
There's a truck kitted out that drives around just L.A. in general.
It's like a pickup truck, and it just is littered with stickers of anti-immigration and shit like that.
Or it's like Trump.
That stuff is always on pickup trucks.
Yes.
I never see it not on a pickup truck.
It's the shittiest thing.
He has his windows rolled down
so I always feel like he's just like
wanting, hoping someone is pissed off.
I saw a bumper sticker in downtown LA the other day
that was a straight up call for
violence?
Civil war.
What was it?
It was like the American flag with like guns.
Yeah.
And I don't remember exactly what it said,
but it basically said something about like,
uh,
it was like rising up.
And,
uh,
it was like the most,
it was definitely the most out there.
Like sticker I've seen in terms of like,
yeah.
Cause you see like the don't tread on me stuff.
That was the most,
that one like straight up was like calling for like,
we have to go to civil war.
And I was like,
well, cause like, and I passed the dudes driving it and like, Shred was like calling for like, we have to go to civil war. And I was like, well,
cause like,
and I passed the dudes driving it
and they just looked like
the most like basic dumb dudes.
Well,
cause like the narratives
are always like,
they're coming after
your way of life.
They're coming after
your children.
When like,
nothing's like happening
at all.
Well,
besides them taking away
other people's rights.
Yeah.
That's happening.
Not mine,
not ours.
Well,
the Supreme Court, thank ours. The Supreme Court did
pull a pretty good prank on women earlier this year.
They're big pranksters.
Am I right? As a prankster, Zach,
that was a good prank. Come on.
Good prank.
It's hilarious.
I'm still laughing at night.
Before I go to bed, I look at the news articles
and now I'm thinking,
those pranksters on the Supreme Court.
See, you're laughing.
You think it's a good prank.
Look how much appreciation he has for it.
Have you guys seen truck nuts on a truck recently?
Yes.
In the last year I did, on the five, I saw a pair of truck nuts.
I haven't seen them in a while.
What happened to this country? Where's the truck nuts anymore?, on the five, I saw a pair of truck nuts. I haven't seen them in a while. What happened to this country?
Where's the truck nuts anymore?
Where are the truck nuts, dude?
We need more truck nuts.
I encourage everyone watching to get a pair.
Whenever I see them, it's when I go visit South Carolina again.
One of the first times I saw them was just in, like, a bunch of kids would have them in high school
on their big trucks that they'd get from, like, their dads or something.
I laugh without fail every time I see a pair of truck nuts.
I think it's really funny when they're
trying to be more realistic
too.
They'll have the folds
and the veins almost.
You'll see metallic
ones and shit.
Oh, the brass ones. But then you'll see
like, dude, that's literally
just from a sex shop.
I just remembered.
We knew some guys that I used to drive this old used Honda Civic.
And they put a pair of truck nuts on the back of my Civic with a padlock and threw away the key.
So I could not remove them.
So I drove around for a while in this little gray Honda Civic with a pair of truck nuts on the back.
And I'm pretty sure one of the neighbors around here went and cut them off.
Because one day I came and they were just cut off.
That's awesome.
But the thing about those truck nuts was they were like metal.
They just put them on their car.
And they're like, I want this for me.
When I'd go over like a bump, you'd hear them fucking hit the road. And it'd be like, I want this for me. I, uh... When I'd go over, like, a bump,
you'd hear them fucking hit the road.
And it'd be like...
The loudest fucking...
Probably, like, blew sparks up and shit.
I want a pair of truck nuts
that's, like, made out of, like, flint or something.
So when it hits the road,
it just blasts sparks everywhere.
That'd be fucking awesome.
That'd be so sick.
We gotta put truck nuts on someone's car around here.
Like Jim or Leighton or one of our employees.
I'm just saying, you always want to do the prank to the person who would appreciate it the least.
Justin.
And I feel like Justin would appreciate that prank.
He takes his car very seriously.
You have to lock it too.
You have to.
You gotta put it with the padlock and throw the key away.
Okay, wait.
I'm gonna go on Amazon real quick and see how much fuck nuts are.
That's a business expense.
Or if there's a way to do it more permanently.
You could weld it to the car.
Yeah, welding it.
Justin comes out and we've welded them
to the back of his car.
Yeah, they do it.
They have them.
I don't see any skin colored ones.
They're not very good.
They're all made out of metal.
Golden ones.
I want...
What specifically are you looking for?
A realistic pair of nuts.
Oh.
You could probably spray-paint them skin-colored
and then add the hair to yourself.
It could be like a hobby.
I sell realistic truck nuts on Etsy.
They're all like this.
Wait, color. Titanium.
Mouse pads.
Nope.
Black.
Those look like kind of like,
you remember how mouses used to be like goofy
when they were figuring them out for like the first time?
The Logitech ones that had like the red ball.
The ball that you'd like spin around for the cursor.
I do like those.
They're really frustrating to use.
Or like laptops had the little red dot in the keyboard thing where you'd like
you could use that as the cursor.
No fun. You know what's less fun?
A trackpad. I hate trackpads.
Yeah. Try editing with a
trackpad. I love a Zach pad though.
Yeah, that's right.
That should be a thing. A Zach pad?
I don't know what that would be.
It would be marketed for women.
It's got your face on it.
On the inside.
Yeah.
With a big old smile.
And then people post the pictures of how much they've stained you.
No.
They can mail them to your P.O. box.
No.
Okay.
What's your favorite tattoo you got?
My favorite tattoo
This is super simple
It just says head
You have one on your back that says
I love
I heart fat cock
That's what I thought
I don't
It's permanently on your body.
What's the story behind that?
No, I was filming a YouTube video.
Oh, it wasn't even a YouTube video.
I think it was just on TikTok or something.
Who even cares?
But it's my friend's, it's from my friend's social media.
And we were doing like, because I was on the show, How Far Is Tattoo Far?
On MTV before.
And I got, I pranked him.
Like, the thing was like, like you know that show you pick like
a fucked up tattoo to give your friend or enemy or whatever and he gave me this fucking rainbow
dick whoa that's fucking awesome and then he has a tramp stamp like a realistic portrait of me
and uh it says and it says to your number one fan and I signed it you know um and then we did like a similar thing
but just for his tiktok and it i gave him yeah i literally thought it was just like oh he's not
gonna do that crazy and i just tattooed like fuck the police and like drew a penis on his leg like
i did the actual tattoo and then he did that on my back and i was just like oh my god it's pretty big
yeah too big actually it's very big if i want to cover it up like i can't even just cover up
something there i'd have to get like a whole back piece you know to like work around the i love fat
cock yeah do you ever go to the beach and yeah i know it's uh you don't want to you can't go to
like a community pool oh no i I cannot. It was so funny.
I was visiting my family, and they were all going to go to this pool in the area where they were living.
In the community they live in, there's a pool or whatever.
Yeah, you can't go.
You're forbidden.
Great, thank you.
With the I love fat cock and the little rainbow penis.
Yeah.
Are those the worst ones you have?
Yeah, I mean, I don't have anything else it's like super fucked or anything um like i have an r.i.p harambe tattoo right there
like the a-cab one yeah you got the little devil i've always wanted a little devil yeah those are
dope there's a name for it i forgot though i'm not sure i love those little baby devils, though. The Triforce from The Legend of Zelda. A gamer, I see.
Yeah.
It says, born to die on my stomach.
There's the Jackass logo.
Did you get that before or after Jackass?
Right after we did the pre-shoot for the movie.
I did it, like, right after.
Yeah.
It just seemed right.
It's the right time.
Yeah. We want to get matching
it doesn't have to be matching but we both want to go get great alien tattoo
yeah we're just obsessed with just a lot of aesthetic of like UFO the I was about
to say corn maze for some reason I set up corn mazes for us or maybe I'll get
it on my chest right over my heart. Like right here on my pec. Like the gray alien head.
Cool.
Right around your nipple.
That would be sick.
That's just like the mouth.
Yeah.
Or that's the UFO.
And it's a crop circle.
It's like an overhead shot of a crop circle.
What about a UFO beaming up my nipple?
Like it's shiny.
I feel like I know someone that has that exact tattoo.
Where it's like a UFO like beaming onto their nipple
Or it's something with their nipple like a fisherman like catching it or something
There's a lot of like there's a lot you can do with nipples with tattoos a lot like you can get very creative
You know yeah, I saw a guy had really small nipples, and he went and got them tattooed to be bigger
He just got this in of his areolas?
They got the exact color?
Because his nipples were super tiny.
There's like a before, a during,
and then like after.
He's like, I just need them to look bigger.
It's embarrassing if you have really small nipples.
You know who has really small nipples?
Chet Hanks.
I've never seen him with a shirt on.
I've noticed. He's very small nipples.
Is he still doing his patois accent?
Yeah, he is.
Great.
He's doing well.
He just bought a Lamborghini, so he is.
I want Tom to do the same thing.
I want him to connect with Chet
by starting to do patois as well.
I wish that Chet had played one of the pirates
in Captain Phillips.
Like Tom got his son in the movie. He becomes
the main pirate.
To his dad, like doing the whole accent
and everything. I love Chet Hanks.
Look at me, mon. That's what Chet would say.
Great. He is very
entertaining. He's an entertaining guy.
He's mean.
He's a little bit mean. He's bullied
Matt through the DMs. Said Matt's not healthy. He's a little bit mean. He's bullied Matt through the DMs.
Oh, yeah?
Said Matt's not healthy.
Call me a pussy.
Yeah.
But, I mean, he's trying to scam you into something.
He's trying to scam you into, like, a workout plan.
It's not a scam.
He wants you to work out with him?
Yes.
Oh, dude.
You should do that.
I don't think I physically would be able to. I think that would be... If you're allowed Oh, dude. You should do that. I don't think I physically
would be able to.
I think that would be...
If you're allowed to film it,
you should do it.
I'd like to do
a workout tape with him.
Like, if you're allowed
to film it,
you should 100%.
Ryan, you and I should go
do a workout session with him
and film a workout tape.
Can we...
Can we do...
Dude, I will come too
if you...
I'm not even joking.
Like, I will be there.
That would be fucking awesome.
What's the reason you never doubled down on it and did it?
Because Chet was begging Matt.
I would love to get advice from him, dude.
He's given me a lot of advice.
Did you ask for any girl advice?
No, I haven't.
I think I should.
Oh, dude.
He has a kid. Getting some dating
advice. I need all of that.
From Chet specifically.
No, I
pay for his workout
plan.
And I've never once joined
a Zoom call or
he does weekly Zoom calls and I haven't
joined it ever.
And I'm supposed to upload progress pictures
and
you should photoshop yourself
just getting back
I remember
I'll just re-upload
well I uploaded the first one
just
just seeing this
getting more frustrated
and photoshop like more hair out every time something like that happens.
You're like, you're picking your skin now.
It's not working.
You're literally just, like, on meth.
My teeth are deteriorating.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't know what's going on.
No, but I had uploaded my...
I took beginning progress pictures and I uploaded them and I then
hadn't uploaded any more progress pictures and I just posted a picture of myself on Instagram one
day and then he commented and was like upload your pictures pussy you're slacking
do you still pay for the plan yeah I forgot to cancel it and it renewed me.
Join one of the calls.
That seems like the perfect thing for you to do.
You like fucking around and having good, decent conversations, of course, too.
Well, it's like a life coach plus a working out thing.
Is everyone else muted and he's just kind of like encouraging you all?
I think a good amount, but the people take it seriously.
Oh, yeah?
Because he posts pictures of himself working out with some of these people
and their before and after stuff.
Here's the thing, I have no doubt that
I'm signing up for this shit, dude.
If I took it fully seriously,
I do think I could get jacked if I took it fully seriously,
but it's like I don't
I don't
want to commit your life to getting jacked?
To Chad Hanks?
Well, because like...
He told me that the only way...
He's like, I've been in your place, like me.
He's like, I've been just as bad as you.
I was smoking, I was drinking.
But the only way to do this shit is you gotta wake up early,
gotta lift a shit ton of weights,
you gotta eat a shit ton of protein.
You know me, I'm just like you.
I'm the son of Tom Hanks.
I'm in your
exact position.
I know exactly how it feels to be a
nobody.
Yeah, he's good.
He seems like a very entertaining
bloke. He's an entertaining bloke, and I thought
it's not a character. No, there's bloke. He's an entertaining bloke, and I thought it was... It's not a character.
No, it's... No.
There's no way.
He's too...
I sent him a video.
He's too genuine in all of what he says.
I sent him a video of myself one night.
It was like...
It was dark, and I was like...
I was listening to Marvin's Room by Drake, and I was just like...
And he replied and was like,
Such a good fucking song.
Dude, his episodes in Curb were hilarious.
Have you seen that?
In Curb, You're an Enthusiast?
He was in Curb?
Yeah, he's playing like a...
He's currently in it.
No, well, he was playing like this character.
I think it's like reoccurring.
I think he's been in it like twice, maybe?
But he was like a...
He's a veteran.
And then they go and do a civil war reenactment and he starts having ptsd during it like freaking out dude no he played in that he
was in a uh uh showtime series i watched and he played a fentanyl dealer uh with brian cranston
where like there was a scene with him brian cranston he was good yeah no he's really he's
actually really good he's really funny in that show. He's in Atlanta.
With the accent. He does the accent.
It says he's from Trinidad.
It's pretty funny.
I would love to shoot
a three of us could do a workout tape with
Chad Hanks. I would love that.
He could probably fix my back.
He probably knows the secret. He knows the secret.
He will literally know how. Just follow me.
Just pay me how much?
How much is the workout plan?
I just, I need to cancel it. How much is the workout
plan?
How much? You don't want to say it.
Is it that much that you don't want
to say it? Yes.
Bleep it out, Luke.
You know, well, I paid
initially. Okay.
I was gearing up for like no no I paid
month yeah I paid for the first
month or the first like three months
because I think I there was a discount and then
I forgot about it and then it auto renewed for
I think dollars and I
was like oh my god
dude hey if it just renewed now's the time
to cancel I mean no now's the time to
take it if I already paid the money I should take advantage
of it.
Get fucking jacked. With Chet.
With Chet.
Go work out with him.
He asked me to come work out with him.
You,
you went into this.
I'm scared of him.
Well,
you went into this,
you instigated this whole interaction.
I know,
I started it,
but I,
and now he's begging you to hang out and work out with him.
And you're just,
you're too busy for Chet Hanks.
Look at you.
I remember there was one day where it was right before a Zoom call.
He called me, like, my phone number, like, four times in a row, and I didn't answer it.
What?
I was scared.
I was like, why is he calling me?
Did he use your number when you signed up?
I gave him my number on Instagram.
He asked for it.
Oh, yeah.
I was just like, oh.
So, yeah.
Why are you so scared of him?
He's not going to, like, kill you.
No, I know he's not.
He's the son of Dom Hanks.
He's not going to kill me, but he's going to verbally degrade me to the lowest point possible.
But that's funny.
It is funny.
It'll be really funny.
He's already done that through the DMs pretty good yeah it'll be hilarious i remember my he was like asking like when i was talking
about doing the program he's like listen do you want to be like you or do you want to be like me
and i was like you can be like me and i was like okay i want to be like you and then uh he sent me
forms to fill out and i was watching a movie it was like late at night night and I was like, alright, I'm watching a movie with my friends
but as soon as I'm done I'll fill these out and he's like
go right now, look in the mirror and call yourself
a pussy three times. If watching
a movie with your pussy ass friends is more important
than changing your fucking life, I can't help you.
Oh my god.
So I went and I filmed myself calling myself a pussy
three times. Did you really?
Did you send it to him? I think so.
I'm a pussy. I'm a pussy. No, no, no.
I didn't send it to him, but I filmed it because I
wanted to document my workout process
and I just didn't start. I do want to do it.
I need to get in shape. You just paid for it. You just paid
$700 for it. Maybe this is how
I finally get in shape. Dude,
this is awesome.
Yeah, we gotta all go work out with him.
I want to. But we don't have a membership.
Could you put in a word for us?
I don't know.
Maybe he'll just let us do it.
He probably won't.
We're gonna have to pay him.
He doesn't just let anybody do the shit.
Wait, what?
You're gonna have to for...
It's the Hank's Fit program.
Maybe it's just like...
With an X.
What's it called?
Hank's Fit.
Maybe we'll do a one-time thing to test it out.
If we ask.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I really want to shoot this workout tape, though.
Yeah, no, I'm, like, down.
I'm down to be in it.
That would be sick.
My lungs aren't at a very good...
I mean, I'm just not a healthy guy, really.
Yeah.
I'm, like...
I have been working out.
Like, I've lost, like, 100 pounds since I did Jackass.
Damn.
But, like...
Congrats.
Yeah, but...
Yeah, I need to...
I haven't been working out at all, like, the last, like...
I went last night, but the last three weeks,
just because I've been filming.
I'd like to get healthy come the new year.
I mean, that's everyone's right thing.
Yeah, everyone wants to get healthy, yeah.
I have the stuff at home to work out.
I just...
Doing it's the hardest part.
You've been working out a lot.
Yeah, I've kept the trainer I had for the boxing stuff.
And so like,
I just go like four times a week,
but like I still counteract it with like,
I love cakes and late night treats and shit.
So treats and sweets.
I order the worst shit.
Just I'll,
I'll be up late and instantly I'll be like,
I want a McDonald's warm cinnamon roll and I'll get out.
Those are pretty good.
I've never had one of those.
They're pretty good.
Yeah.
They ask you if you want a fork.
No.
No.
You just shovel.
Cinnamon rolls are amazing.
Yes.
In general.
That's why they're my favorite thing at the CC shit.
Oh my God, dude.
CC.
Remember the bread with like the like, I don't know if it was butterscotch or what on top.
Yeah.
Do you remember that shit?
I think so.
Maybe that was just.
I just had the cinnamon rolls
and like,
I think they had like a...
The dessert pizza.
I don't know if it was a brownie.
The dessert pizza was good too.
Yes.
The dessert pizza was.
All their pizza.
It was just CC's.
I had the barbecue pizza the most.
Yeah.
There was one that was like,
it wasn't like,
it had crust like on the top
and bottom,
like it was like a stuffed pizza.
And I remember it had like
a nacho cheese thing in it too. And it was just like stuffed pizza and i remember it had like a nacho
cheese thing in it too and it was just like pepperoni at cc's yeah it's easy now i want to
because i don't think i ever had that one it was okay the last like few times i went to cc's i've
not seen it since i went to wait when was the last time you went to cc's um it was probably in
2018 okay so i'd if it was sooner, I'd be like, okay.
Because I'm still like, I don't know if there's ones that are open.
I'm actually going to check the one back home.
Wasn't it $5 too for a whole buffet?
Yeah, it was like maybe $5.99.
That's why they take Little League there and stuff.
That's where I'd go after Little League games and shit like that when I was a kid.
Okay, I really can't find any nearby.
This is really upsetting to me.
CeCe's Pizza Las Vegas?
No, they're really nowhere.
I'm looking up CeCe's Pizza Irmo South.
Yes!
They're open until 10 p.m.
Still open?
Yep.
Damn, Ryan, when I come home for the holidays...
Back home at the one that I used to go to.
Where's the nearest one to California, though?
Everyone that I checked, it was, like, permanently closed.
I'm going to check again.
I mean, I know there's probably not one in California, but what state is the closest that has one?
Wait, let me go on the actual CC's Pizza website.
Yeah.
Go to locations.
Oh, they have rebranded it a little bit.
Oh, man, it's this new logo.
Every company is, like, it's, like, it's like now logos have to be super simplified.
Yeah.
It's just boring now.
It's like a trend where logos are really cool
and then they're really simplified
and then they go back to being cool.
I'm viciously searching.
Oh, CC's Pizza in New Mexico?
That's pretty fun.
There are none in California.
Here we go.
I found the list of states. South Carolina has 10 right now.
Good. Keep it that way. None in Arizona. There's one in New Mexico.
Where in New Mexico? Let's see.
Probably Albuquerque. I'm gonna be there.
You're gonna be there soon? I was just there. It's in Albuquerque. Yeah. No way.
There's a CeCe's Pizza in Albuquerque. I was just in Albuquerque.
You gotta go by the Breaking Bad house.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to do that.
The lady might scream at you, but
that's why I went at night.
Throw a pizza up there, leave.
From CeCe's. Yeah, from CeCe's. Exactly.
Yeah, two birds, one stone.
I'm trying to figure out the closest state.
There's no Nevada, no Arizona.
Nope.
New Mexico might be the closest state
Utah, no
You were in Albuquerque and you missed it
I was just in Albuquerque like a couple weeks ago
You had no idea there was a CC's present
Fuck me man
I was just where the closest CC's is
And I didn't go
I'm actually mad about this
We're going home, is there one around Charleston?
There was.
Let me look at... Because if you come to the Irmo Columbia
area, you and I should get CC's
together. I know where it is.
I could pick you up. Nope. They closed the one
down. There is one in North Charleston though.
Oh, still. Here, I'd like to make a
call to our viewers to raise awareness of
CC's Pizza to bring CC's Pizza to California.
Please. I'll franchise
it. Ryan and I can own the
first one in California. We'll put the money in.
What? It's just a...
The three
of us. We'll put the money in.
Some of us more than others. Yeah, yeah.
No, we're not all movie stars.
Yeah. Zach will
front most of the money.
We're not Hollywood movie stars like you, man.
We're just internet people.
What do we know about money?
Mr. Hollywood over here certainly knows a lot.
Can I borrow a couple hundred grand, by the way?
Okay, well, very friendly of you, Zach.
Thank you.
You're welcome, dude.
Maybe when we open our CCs, he won't be allowed in.
Have his face up on the door.
Do not allow him.
Been banned from CCs before?
Yeah, it was because of my friend.
What did your friend do?
He fought somebody in the CCs.
How do you get in a fight with someone at a CCs?
Who pissed who off? If you don't a fight with someone at a CC's like who pissed who off
I don't need dude if you don't want to get into
it's fine but I almost got into a fight
at a CC's once cause I actually turned the
like the light off in the bathroom
and some guy
he was like
I'm not getting my pizza
I didn't think anything of it
and he was like
you turned the fucking light off I was thinking of shit and he was like freaking the fuck out I love know he was in there. And he was like, you turned the fucking light off.
I was thinking of shit.
And he was like freaking the fuck out.
I love that he was like.
He's sitting there in the dark fuming. It was in my face like so much.
And I was like, dude, I wanted to throw my tray at him so bad.
It took everything in me not to like do anything about that.
I was just mad eating my Cece's pizza.
For me, it's no fun. It's like it comes across like you scared the shit out of him by turning the lights up.
I couldn't even wipe! Couldn't find my asshole.
I love him in the dark trying to like, like fuming mad trying to like wipe and like he can't see.
Honestly, no wait wait, that does suck though because when you wipe, you have to look at the toilet paper to see how much more there is.
I couldn't tell if I'm done or not.
I still don't know.
Go back in there, dude.
Because like he could have wiped like six times and he's like, I don't know if there's any brown on there.
Like I might be good or I might not because there's times.
He's not even throwing it into the toilet. He's just throwing it on the side.
Slips on the toilet paper.
Stops sticking to his hands and clothes he doesn't know.
Comes out, he's covered in shit.
I'm covered in shit.
How am I supposed to enjoy my CCP now?
He couldn't even wash his hands or anything.
It's just like all over.
You could ruin his life.
Dude, he could have slipped on the toilet paper and cracked his head and died.
That's his villain story arc, dude.
He's never been the same since then.
He's like a serial killer now.
I only hope.
I love that you were sitting there angry eating your pizza because like sitting at a CC's
pizza, were you by yourself?
No, I was with friends.
Okay, good. They're like, dude, it's okay.
It doesn't matter. And I'm like, yes it does.
That's like when someone flips me off in traffic
or like flashes their brights at me. I get so
irrationally angry that for like the next 10,
15 minutes of driving, I'm just like,
I'm like, it doesn't matter. He had like a McDonald's
cup of Coke and just threw it at
my window. He tried to get me to
roll down my window first and then I wouldn't and that's when he threw it in my window. He tried to get me to roll down my window first, and then I wouldn't, and that's
when he threw it in. So you can
see what he was trying to do.
One time when I was a kid,
my friends and I were like, well, I was
like a teenager, I guess, but we were driving around
and my friend's like, I should throw this
drink out of the car right now. That would be hilarious.
I was like, sure, whatever, dude.
He fucking throws it, and
this person comes by on a bike, like right out of the corner,
hits him right in the face.
Oh, no.
And I was like, oh, my God, what have we done?
Dude, no.
That's like the timing on that.
You can't convince them it wasn't on purpose, though.
They're upset.
We just floored it.
I'd be furious.
You just ran.
You can't really even apologize in that situation because they're going to be so mad.
Well, you can.
Well, yeah, you can, but it's not going to go far.
One time I threw a jar of pickles out of a car to see if it would break, and it bounced.
It didn't break?
I thought it would break immediately.
That's a testament to the strength of that glass.
That's the only reason I did it, because I knew it would break instantly.
Bounce, hit another car.
Oh, no.
I'd be furious if a jar of pickles hit my car.
I'd be like, what's the why?
Why?
I wanted to see if it would break.
Yeah.
Why would, like, I'd be like, why did that happen?
What, why?
He told you why it happened.
Well, yeah.
He's like, oh, I wanted to see if it would break.
I'd be like, well, fair.
If you thought it was going to break, you know, fair.
I was walking down the sidewalk and someone threw a bottle at me.
Yeah.
They called me a bad word.
No.
A plastic bottle or a glass bottle?
No, I'm sorry.
It wasn't a bottle.
It was a fucking drink.
Like a, they called me a bad word.
One I can't. One Zach kept saying
in between the breaks.
No!
I can't.
I can't say the word.
Yeah.
It's a bad word though.
Very bad.
You should stop using that one.
So much said.
Oh my God.
But, I mean,
not that it offends
us in this room.
Oh my God.
It doesn't apply to us.
But if you're in the wrong setting,
my friend,
around the wrong people...
The wrong people?
What's wrong with you?
What the fuck is going on, dude?
The wrong people.
You just gotta be careful, man.
Especially with this Hollywood career, man.
We don't want another Mel Gibson thing happening.
Oh, my God, dude.
Anyway, Zach, where can people find you?
You got something to promote?
I have some stuff coming out that I can't really talk about,
but I'm going to be on Tura Sevo.
That's going to be cool.
When is that?
Good question.
This podcast comes out soon, but I think week after next?
Yeah.
Or maybe next week.
This one actually might come out next week.
Okay.
I'll be on tour.
I'll be Arlington, Texas, December 13th.
It's my dad's birthday, man.
I'll be, I think it's Baymount, Texas, December 14th.
Albuquerque, December 16th.
Nice.
Yeah.
Well, go see Steve-O and Zach if you're in those areas.
Yeah.
Other than that, you can find me on Instagram, Zachass.
Yeah.
You can find me.
Cool.
Go find Zach.
Go find his address.
Have you ever been tased before?
Zach.
What, dude?
I have been tased by that exact taser.
Are you sure?
Yes.
I brought this.
Is that...
You brought that?
Yeah.
Because we have one just like it.
Does this even work?
Hold on, let me see.
It's not.
Man, there goes the bit
Dude, I hate being shocked
Did you see me jump up when you pulled that out?
No, no, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, you don't need to show how it works
Okay
Wait
Is it dead?
I think it's dead
The thing is, the light's on
Might not be enough voltage for this app
Oh man
Damn
Dude, my hands are so sweaty right now.
Oh, my God.
We're going to have to fire someone over this.
That would have been a great bit.
It would have.
Who didn't charge it?
Justin, Leighton.
Dude, if that was the moment, I decided that.
See?
Oh, my God. I've been shocked by this.
It leaves a mark.
We were all like, let's just all try it.
We were all just like, it puts a fucking in wonder.
Yeah.
Puts a pep in your step for sure.
But yeah, thank you for coming on and go check out Zach's stuff.
Didn't get me this time, Zach.
Thanks for having me.
Maybe next time.
Of course. And we love Zach. Thanks for having me. Maybe next time. Of course.
And we love you.
Love you guys too. You guys can also go to our Patreon
to check out our After Hours show,
which is a little extended version of us
talking with Zach, which
you'll get. And we're going to talk about
all the things, the crazy things
that you wish we talked about
in the episode. All the words
Zach failed to mention on this episode,
he promised he'll mention them in the after hours.
So yeah, thank you guys so much for the support.
Love you.
Mwah.
Matt and Ryan, that was not funny.
But I love Super Mega.
Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard
to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well whether
it's an everyday maintenance and repairs
or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need
to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need.
Angie has over 20 years of home service experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify
the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and
Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros
and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few
taps because when it comes to getting the most out of your home,
you can do this when you Angie that.
Download the free Angie mobile app today
or visit Angie.com.
That's A-N-G-I.com.