supermegashow - EP 350 - My Best Friend Jesus | SuperMegaCast

Episode Date: June 3, 2023

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Sick. Well, well, well, what do we have Sick. Blazing about spending the government's dime. Sorry, the hardworking man's dime. And what are you doing right now? Listening to a YouTuber's podcast. Well, we couldn't be any more excited that you're here to listen. And we couldn't be more grateful that, you know, you chose to spend your day with the funny brothers, Matt Watson. Ryan McGee. That's right. We've got a super mega cast.

The super mega cast. Right, right. You know, it's a very special episode today. Megacast. The Super Megacast. Right, right. You know, it's a very special episode today. Ryan and I are on our primo top game next level bullshit.

Oh, yeah. We're back on that bullshit, ladies and gentlemen. We are back on that bullshit. I'll tell you something. And to prove it, take a look at this. You see this? Matt's holding up a picture. Matt, what's the picture you're holding up to display?

The picture I'm holding up, brother, it's a very special picture to me. It's Eminem's mugshot. It says Slim Shady on it. Is that a real mugshot? No, it's strictly promotional for Slim Shady. It would have been better if he... Does he have an actual mugshot out there? I'm sure he's been arrested. Should have probably used that for the promotion.

You have the ability to use your own... Sorry, I don't want to get too into the episode, because I have a surprise for you, Matt. You have a surprise for me? I do, I have a surprise for you. It's a surprise for us. You serious? But you don't know it, so it's a surprise to you.

It's not a surprise to me, I already know what it is, but it's still a good thing for both of us. Yeah, okay, lay it on me. Now, we haven't partaken in a certain experience in quite a few episodes. So, feast your eyes on this little vial of poppers. Oh. I, you know, I... I don't know, after just getting out of rehab I don't know

come on dude look look come on it's like old times watch watch watch watch come on nah man dude they just just a sticker I don't know dude they warn me about guys like you in rehab Nah, man, dude, they just... Just a sticker.

I don't know, dude. They warn me about guys like you in rehab. Dude, what? About risk takers? Come on. About people who are just better than you in general? Who have the brave... Basically what I'm saying is people like me are brave. Do you not agree?

I agree. You're brave. Brave enough to indulge in some things that make me be a little happy. Okay? It's the only way I can get through the day. And I have the courage to pick that up and snort it every time I have the courage every goddamn day to snort that shit

yeah but I mean poppers for those who are wondering what we're talking about I specifically went to poppers rehab and I was in there for like two and a half weeks and then like I mean the first episode I kept throwing rocks at your window I know and I never checked because I knew you would be outside the window

holding up the poppers bottle. It's like, I just got out this weekend. Why would you start the podcast by tempting me with poppers? Because you're back in the free world, baby. That is true. I am out of rehab, which means— Do you have the courage to take some poppers? These are questions that friends ask.

It's like, do you have the courage, even though you've had five shots, do you have the courage to drive home, to have the responsibility to drive you and your friends home, even though you drank too much? I can't do it, Ryan. I'm sorry. I popped out of that lifestyle.

I left it behind. Completely? I left the pop style behind, man. The pop life. I thought it was going to be a good opening surprise. No, it's the thought that counts, Ryan. It was a great opening surprise. It really was.

But I learned a lot in rehab, and I made a new best friend while I was in the rehab clinic for poppers. Who? His name is Jesus Christ. I don't want you to be jealous. This is made from natural supplements. This comes from a flower, someone told me. Just squeeze it out the root

my new best friend told me that you know temptations you know substances it's the devil's way of getting inside of us I feel like we're way far off track I don't want the devil inside of me

getting inside of me fine you won't do poppers I don't want you to get mad at me Getting inside of me. Fine. You won't do poppers. I don't want you to get mad at me. We don't have to go on for 20 minutes about how you don't want to do it. I just thought it would be fun for a couple of friends to have some poppers together. It's not that I wouldn't think it's fun. Make a 20 minute goddamn speech. We get it.

You don't want to do it. Talk about Jesus throwing him under the bus. Using him as your excuse. I'm not throwing him under the bus, using him as your excuse. I'm not throwing Jesus under the bus, man. He's my new best friend. I learned a lot. I learned a lot. Jesus thinks I'm cool.

You think he thinks I'm any less cool because I do poppers? No, he thinks I'm more cool. I don't know if he thinks you're more cool. Oh, well, you can only think. I know he thinks that I'm more cool. How do you know that? Have you talked to him? Yep.

What, do you talk to Jesus on the phone? Every night. I still pray. No, you don't. Every morning and every night. Yeah, and I bet? Have you talked to him? Yep. What, do you talk to Jesus on the phone? No, you don't. Every morning and every night. Yeah, and I bet you $20 he doesn't fucking, you don't hear his voice in your head saying, yeah, Ryan, you're more cool.

Granted, it's more of a feeling. You just feel like he thinks you're more cool than me? Yeah. You're trying to pin me against Jesus now. Not gonna work, brother. Not gonna work. Because Jesus last night when I was praying told me that he thinks I'm actually cooler, and he actually told me last night that you were going to do this exact same thing. He said that, you know, Ryan's going to give you poppers and you're going to turn them away. And then he's going to say that I said that I think he's more cool, but that's a lie. So just be prepared for that. So I came into this knowing that that was going to happen. Yeah, let's just say maybe you should find a new friend to trust better.

Because I guess your friend Jesus ain't too trustworthy. Towards you. He's trustworthy towards me. Not going to notice that I said I have. She's going to gloss over, talk over me like I didn't even say anything. Like you always do. Who? You.

The one who never listens. No, I said who's your friend? Who's your new friend? Oh, now you're interested. Now you're jealous. I'm not jealous. Little guy goes by the name of the Holy Spirit. Yep.

He's in my pocket too. Almost got the whole fucking family. No, you just have one. Nope. All you have is the Holy Spirit. You don't have Jesus Christ or the Father God. Jesus Christ is in my pocket just as much as the Holy Spirit. No, he's not, dude. He's not in your pocket.

He told me that. As I said, it's a feeling. And he told me you would say this shit today. As I said, it's a feeling. All right, the Holy Ghost, maybe. You know, maybe I'll give you that, okay? I'll give you the Holy Ghost. But you don't have Jesus Christ, and you don't have the Son.

You don't have the Father. I don't think you can speak for Jesus, and I think it's pretty damning. All right, how about, hold on, give me a second. How about I pray about it? Jesus Christ. Yep. He just said, he said, Matthew, you can actually speak for me on this podcast episode. Hold on, is that right, Jesus?

Yeah, he just gave me permission in my head when I prayed to him. He said, I'm allowed to be his representative on this episode of the podcast. I think you just talk to yourself. I talk to Jesus Christ. I think you're a little child who plays games plays these little improv games with yourself telling you that you can you can speak to jesus no i can't you think you're gonna garner a following because people think you're closer to jesus when in reality you're just a sad sack who has to continue to leech and and and and and use jesus as some sort of parasitic attachment you have to show that i jesus loves me more you should follow me i'm i'm awesome i'm cool i never said i'm not gonna do

poppers with my best friend ryan dude yeah ryan it's don't don't take it so personally man you're just pussy i'm not a pussy man i'm not a pussy, man. I'm not a pussy. You look like one. No, I don't. Well, you know what, Ryan? I think that a woman's private parts is a very beautiful thing. So, thank you for calling me beautiful. You think that's beautiful?

No, it looks like a fucking dog's mouth, dude. Looks like a dog's gums and lips. It's disgusting. That's what I think. Putrid. It's so gross. It's so freaking gross. That gash? Uh-uh.

None for me, thanks. Jesus never indulged in the pussy, did he? Well, the Da Vinci Code would tell you that he did, but, you know, I don't subscribe to that. Well, it didn't say strictly that it was intercourse.

That's true. It was just that he had a wife. Yeah. A, it didn't say strictly that it was intercourse. That's true. It was just that he had a wife. Yeah. A lot of people were upset about that book, The Da Vinci Code. A lot of people were upset about The Golden Compass as well, and that has a big giant polar bear in it. So people will just get mad at shit for no reason. People like getting mad at shit for no reason.

It's fun. It is. I mean, like, I still like, it's fun to collectively go at something but all i think all humans share a common trait where it's sometimes it's fun to get mad at something yeah to collectively come together you know raise yourself higher than the thing that makes you feel better it does you know i didn't i didn't do that. I didn't behead five guys last week, so I should feel better about myself. Yeah, dude, you got head from five guys last week. Thank you, man. Thank you for giving me a fist bump on that one.

It's a compliment. Even though it was framed as a diss. Why would that be a diss? Well, it's not a diss. It is a compliment. I'm actually proud of you for that. Getting head from five guys in one week is actually a pretty, you but you meant it as a diss i want to go back to that because it seems like i didn't mean it as a diss you misheard me you said no i didn't i didn't

yes you did luke replay it yeah dude you got head from five guys last week now actually luke and replay it again yeah dude you got head from five guys last week no actually, actually, Luke, don't replay it. Replay it one more time. Yeah, dude, you got head from five guys last week. You're stupid and wrong. No, I'm not. Because I got head from ten guys last week. Congratulations. And when I said

it was a diss, you know why I said it was a diss? Because you only got head from five guys last week. Oh. See? See. I got head from ten guys last week. Ten.

That meant on some days, I was doubling it up. That's sick. Thanks, man. How many days? I doubled it up on three or four days. Tell me about them in detail each day. Do you remember the blowjobs specifically? I don't need to go. I don't

owe you that. It's just a podcast. We need to fill up some air time. You're the one that brought it up in the first place. Talking about fellatio, dude? I don't think so. First you brought up that I was giving blowjobs to five guys. I said getting head. I never said giving head.

And then you said you received head. Did you give blowjobs to five guys. I said getting head. I never said giving head. I'm sorry. I was getting head. And then you said you received head. Was that a Freudian slip? Did you give blowjobs to five guys? That's for me to know and for no one to find out. But, and then you moved on to you getting 10. Yeah. What's next? 11.

Okay. You know. Are you going to say 12 next? No. If I said 11 are you gonna say 12 next no if I said 11 would you say 12 no I'd keep it at 11 if it was uh

from the you know right friend you know if the right friend ever you know just decided to well I hope he shows up

for you buddy that friend is Jesus Christ and scene what you think about that I hope he shows up for you, buddy. That friend is Jesus Christ. And scene. What do you think about that? Pretty nonsensical. No, I think it tracked perfectly. That could have been a movie from start to finish.

You know? So I started watching this episode of the podcast. And, you know, all fine and dandy. You know, they open up with maybe like a popper's bit but then it divulges into to them being friends with jesus and then the holy spirit and something about the da vinci honestly i couldn't tell you i mean it culminates in this in this this they got into a fight over who got sucked off by the most dudes in one week and then you know they brought it back to j somehow, and then that was the end? It's a good start to a podcast. It's a great story in and of itself.

What other podcast has started like this? I don't think a single podcast ever has started that way. Yeah, name four. You know what's crazy? In the grand scheme of things, there is a— we're pretty early in the podcast game. They'll be making podcasts 100 years from now. Well, Joe Rogan has like thousands.

True. Or over a thousand. I don't know if he's hit. Oh, he does. He does. I think he has over 2,000, which is ridiculous considering those are each like three hours long. He's just a man that likes having conversation, man. He likes just chilling, man. He likes vibes.

He likes good vibes. Having people on. I can't fault a man for liking good vibes. Ever. I mean, he's doing what we do. We're just, he likes bringing his friends on. Ben Shapiro. Matt Walsh. Matt Walsh. You know, Stephen Crowder.

I know people then are going to be like he also brings left people yes yes yes but in particular the groups of people that he brings on usually have a very anti

gay stance I would say that only anti trans or something which is stupid in this day and age. And yes, Joe does fight him back on that. But it's still funny. Joe knows all of this shit going in. Yeah.

Like he knows what they're going to say and he knows that he's exposing it to an audience of millions of people that go. This is interesting. Yeah. So I love it's just kind of like I love the what is a woman documentary. You know, it's just kind of like, I love the What is a Woman documentary. You know, it's just amazing how you capture these people. It's a really incredible piece of work, man. And then later on, he's like, I'm just so surprised you're homophobic. It's like he just doesn't pick up nuance on anything.

Joe. He's playing 5D chess with his guests, actually. He's literally the epitome of, like, like, some guy, like, some dude scheming in a corner and goes up, like, to him and is like, hey, um, I'm definitely not planning anything devious. Do you want to be friends? And then he's like, sure, buddy.

He had a smile on. He said he had some plans. I mean, this dude was the nicest guy. I tell you, this guy was the nicest guy to me. You know, it's actually like, I shook his hand. He had blood on his hands. And it turns out later that he had just killed somebody. And it's like, dude, I didn't see that coming.

I mean, come on. I shook his hand at the bar. He was the nicest guy to me. Like, he shook my hand. He was nice. We went out to dinner. We shared a meal. You know, just us.

You know, you might be asking, maybe they're in a good mood because it's two millionaires having a steak dinner and having the best food in the world while not having to worry about this is too much. Well, how are we getting home? Well, do I have to think about what I'm going to do to make money tomorrow it actually is insane how quickly Joe Rogan went from absolute grief and sorrow for me to just fuck this guy he had no place being in that ring

it's not a guy's son why does it lie and then instantly he's like oh yeah he sucks yeah well we both Why does it lie? And then instantly he's like, oh, yeah, he sucks. Yeah, well. We both worked good. You were great, Ryan. You were great.

No, like, thank you. But, like, you know, I lasted. But the whole point of the event wasn't to see the top prowess in boxing amongst YouTubers. It wasn't like, let's look at all the YouTubers, then let's see who's interested in boxing. Then let's see who actually has a good career, who's trained a lot, and then let's put them together. It was, let's take people who have never done this shit before, who probably haven't done most things

that require any athletic ability or skill. And let's give them a certain amount of time. For us, it was, I think i started training in december um so like you know four or five months of training yeah see what happens and you know we could we could have done better but we did what we did and we came out on top hey man we saved those children we you know we got our asses whooped and guess what it's for charity and that's why i said we came out on top hey man we saved those children we you know we got our asses whooped and guess what it's for charity and that's why i said we came out on top because ultimately you know we saved all those kids we saved a lot of children they you know if we if you and i hadn't fought in the first creator clash there'd be a lot of a lot more dead kids right now but you and i we saved a lot of children's lives pretty cool right, right? It's pretty cool.

That's a cool magic trick. Actually, do you want to see a magic trick? Sure. Pretty cool magic trick. You ready for it? I think I'm prepared. I don't know if you've ever seen a magic trick like this before. Watch this. Ready? Hocus pocus

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That's A-N-G-I dot com. Hi, can I take your order, please? Can I get a Big Mac, McRab, McFlurry, and a McDouble? Keep it rare, I need a Happy Meal, McCrispy, and 10 McNuggets. Tasty golden fries, a cold drink with extra ice. Junior chicken will be fire and a sweet hot apple pie. Is that it? Let me get a quarter pounder with cheese, a flat fish, oh please.

McGriddles, a McMuffin, and a large coffee. A hamburger, cheeseburger, hash brown, hotcakes. Vanilla cone shake and a hot bar sundae. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Welcome back, you sons of guns. And this is the continuation of this episode of the Super Mega Cast, where we are discussing... Sorry, we are discussing. I think I accidentally said disgusting. We're not disgusting. No, no, no.

We're discussing certain topics, certain things, and we're laughing along the way sometimes. If it makes you feel any better, Ryan, I personally did not hear you say disgusting. I heard you say discussing. Good, good, good, good. You know, your brain might be playing little tricks on you. My brain loves to play tricks on me.

Plays tricks on me, too. It actually is insane, you know, when your brain decides to play little tricks on you. Do you ever see, does your brain ever play tricks on you where out of the corner of your eye you see, you see movement, you see something, like a black, a black shadow, like, move? And you, like, jump and you look and there's nothing yeah you know it'll just be like a it'll be like a car passing by or something and it gets your brain to be like what was that like the blinds or something like i noticed cars passing by the blinds and like it'll get my attention right away it enacts this fight or flight response no i mean like a shadowy flash that is actually nothing do you get that ever

like it really is just your your eyes or your brain just playing a trick like nothing actually moved it's just a you know uh no because i mean usually whenever that happens it is something in your periphery like a shadow that like let's say it is like the sun changed and a branch just got in the way or something and you go, huh? You know, so you really never see shadows? No. It's probably because I do a lot of poppers. Maybe the secret antidote. may be the secret antidote. Hey, you're using your foot to push the poppers towards me. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. How did they get right here again?

I placed them on the table. And your foot was pushing them. It was all by coincidence and happenstance. You think after that crazy, confusing heart-to-heart we had in the beginning of this podcast that I would dare test you like this? Or your friendship with Jesus? No! If you want me to take it away, I'll take it away.

No, no, no, no, no, stop. Wait, wait, wait. No. What? Sorry, I'm getting a... I got Jesus on the line in my head right now. Hold on. What's he saying? Really? I'm getting a... I got Jesus on the line in my head right now. Hold on. What's he saying? Really? I just got out of rehab.

Alright, crazy turn of events. Big man upstairs just told me it's cool to do it. He actually said it would make me cooler if I sniffed the poppers. See, that's what I told you he told me. Remember when I said that in the beginning of the podcast? I said something like that. I said that in the beginning of the podcast? I said, uh, something like that. I said something similar to that. Earlier, but he told me in my head that I, not to do it. But now he's coming back saying to do it.

I think... Wait a second. What if it's the deceiver pretending to be Jesus inside my head? What, you have an open line to the deceiver at all times? I hope not. No, I don't.

That's dangerous, man. I don't have an open line. If you have an open line to Jesus and an open line to the deceiver, it gives the deceiver a link to heaven. Things weren't too good when he was in heaven last time, were they? Oh, fuck. It's the reason hell was created. Because he was such an asshole.

He was a dick. He's the ultimate hater. He's like, fine, kick me out of your little group. Guess what? I made hell, you know? Well, God created hell to throw him there. Oh, that. I think, right?

That's right. But then he became the king of it. Yeah, he's like, this is my space, baby. That would be like if we had caught Bin Laden alive and sent him to jail, and then he became the king of jail. And then it's just like, oh, God. I I mean, he runs the place and they love him. We can't do anything about it.

We just send him to the Bahamas, to a particular resort and like the locals start to love him. It's like, we can't, we can't. There would be too many civilian casualties on the line of view. You know, people that were, we have a lot of tourism that goes there. We still want to make money. It's the whole thing of, like, Napoleon, when he was exiled, they cast him away to, like, a remote island. So we catch Bin Laden, we're like, we exile him to an island

that's just, like, a really beautiful island in the Bahamas. With, like, a sandals resort. He's drinking out of coconuts. He has to come up and be like, oh, this tastes like poop! He's just chilling on a sandals resort, going on the water slides and shit. He has to come up and be like, oh, this tastes like poop. He's just chilling on a sandals resort going on the water slides and shit. He has to pretend to hate it whenever the U.S. troops show up. They show up to check in and he's like, oh, I hate it.

They leave. They make me stay out in the sun all day. Another strawberry daiquiri, Mr. Bin Laden? And all of a sudden he's looking looking like that's not what I ordered that's weird the Mai Tai you're right this wasn't yours the idea of

Bin Laden hanging out in the Bahamas just living it up as his punishment for the September 11th terrorist attacks is now that's a freaking image you know I would love to see AI create a picture of that. Bin Laden living it up.

Hey, show me the body, dude. Where is it? Where's Bin Laden's body? Why didn't I ever see it? Why pay AI to do that when you could just not pay a bunch of interns from Canada to do the work for you? That's true. And it's a project for their school. Exactly.

And then they could reference that project on applications for future jobs. But not with this company. Even though we're an animation company, so to speak, in this hypothetical abusing college students as interns. Let's say we're an animation studio. Sure. Why would, given that we are an animation studio, hire in-house animators?

That's expensive. Very. So why don't we just, you know, contract it out, baby? Or send it over to the Philippines. Okay. Have them do it. Pennies on the dollar. Huh. Pennies on the dollar. Huh?

Pennies on the dollar. You thought I said penis on the dollar, didn't you? I did, I did. I didn't say penis on the dollar, but that's... You said pennies on the dollar. Now I'm imagining a guy with a dollar bill and he's got his cock on it. He's going, hey, penis on the dollar. Dollar bills are disgusting.

They are. They're very dirty. So imagine what that would do. What diseases would ravage your penis if it... Well, you also... But you got to think that, you know, it's very hard for diseases to survive without, you know, a host or, you know, something.

Dollar's not very warm, unless you keep it wet and in your pocket. Also... You can pee on the dollar to sanitize it. Piss is sterile. Mm-hmm. Earlier, you know, I brought up AI creating that image

of Bin Laden on the the beach and you said well why have ai do it when you can pay not pay interns we're we're completely skipping over something that's right in front of us what why do either of those things when we're already paying our good friend luke to draw that picture for us here it is ladies and gentlemen thank you you're watching the video version, here's Luke's drawing of Bin Laden at a sandals resort in the Bahamas enjoying drinking out of a coconut.

It's got a little umbrella in it. Really good job, Luke. And also, I haven't seen the drawing yet, Luke, but let's be careful because you are drawing a terrorist. So let's make sure that we don't bring any negative stereotypes into your drawing. I just want to make sure we get this.

You brought it up and I want to make sure we put it out there. We are not saying that the person in your picture is a terrorist because they just so happen to be Middle Eastern. The person in your picture is Osama bin Laden, head of a terrorist syndicate or ex-head of a terrorist syndicate. He's probably the most famous terrorist of all time. Yeah, so I just want to make sure it's... Make sure it's out there. Make sure, you know, maybe you have an arrow like, this is bin Laden, so they don't just think it's a racist caricature

of a Middle Eastern man. Then we call it a terrorist. That's not the case at all. It's actually a terrorist. It's actually just a racist caricature of a terrorist. Exactly. Which makes it okay. That makes it all good then, you know?

Because it's a terrorist, we can get as racist as we want with that drawing. Yeah, why not? Luke can't. So thank you, Luke. It's fantastic. And for the audio listeners, you know, I think we described it pretty good.

So, you know, you can imagine what Luke's drawing looked like. Or even do a rendition of your own. Don't. I don't want to do that. I don't want to put that challenge out there. Well, it. YouTubers challenge fan base to draw terrorists. Harkens back to our Starbucks challenge.

Oh, back in the kids with problems days. Asking people to plant bombs in the Starbucks around the United States. Bad idea. Yeah. Oh, you're talking about the Starbucks video. But in reality, what I was referring to was when we told people to tell Starbucks to put ISIS on their coffee cups right before Merry Christmas ISIS, that little campaign we started. Which was a funny sketch in concept. Yeah. Merry Christmas, ISIS, that little campaign we started, which was a funny sketch in concept.

And then maybe the day, you know, ISIS, you know, kind of poor timing because the next after we dropped that sketch, ISIS kind of did a terrorist attack the next day in France. And we were like, all right, guys, stop with the challenge now. That's enough with the oops. Don't you don't even need to do the challenge. Merry Christmas, ISIS. Hashtag Merry Christmas ISIS hashtag Merry Christmas ISIS but you know a lot of those people probably had their own sharpies ordered a coffee wrote it on themselves and then sent the picture I don't think too many people

actually asked can you write Merry Christmas ISIS on my cup maybe though cause ISIS is a name I knew a girl named ISIS Ice Spice her name is Isis really so dude I

you're not still talking to Ice Spice are you no she has ghosted me she seems so into me too you know well the weird thing is like she was I want to see see if you can find anything in your story that is similar to mine.

See if we can piece it together. We, iSpice and I start talking. We have our own Minecraft server. We're playing every day. We're talking probably four hours a night, you know, four to, okay, three to four hours. Sometimes it's a little, it's a little light but we're talking for a good bit and one day it's like hey you know you're friends with matt watson can can you introduce me so you know remember when i brought ice spice as my date to that

wedding we went to uh-huh and you ended up not as my date we you know it wasn't a granted it wasn't like a we didn't advertise it wasn't a granted it wasn't like a we didn't advertise it wasn't a date we weren't together but like you know there was it's the way you bring a date to a wedding yes you know not it doesn't necessarily mean that you're dating and y'all got close and like a few you know a few weeks pass it starts to dissipate more in terms of the attention and the calls and she starts not showing up to the Minecraft server. What I'm saying is, did you introduce iSpice to any one of your cool, rich, handsome friends recently?

I just want to say it's all water under the bridge. I'm trying to help you out in this scenario. Fuck. that makes so much sense now I was wondering why she kind of stopped talking to me now fuck yeah we were mean her we were playing Minecraft one night I mean you guys played she plays it with a bunch of different people you know it's not like i was trying to take that from you guys but but yeah you said water under the bridge so i'm just i did i did i'm just i'm listening i'm just paying attention yeah me and isis were playing minecraft not the terrorist organization ice spice and uh i said hey you know i i got a

friend who's got a crazy server and he you know he's got some crazy stuff and hey, you know, I got a friend who's got a crazy server, and he's got some crazy stuff. And next thing you know, we're in Fort Buskus. And, yeah, Em and Toby, you know, she met Till Buskus that night on the... So, for all I know, she's probably in Fort Buskus right now. Oh, God. It's all been a long con. And who does Tilluscus know? Who we recently collaborated with, not but a few months ago or so.

Maybe it was a year. I'm bad with time. Kyle Rittenhouse. Yeah. God damn it. Ah, fuck. She planned that from the start, didn't she? She knew that.

Boom. Ryan to Matt. To Tobuscus. to Kyle Rittenhouse. Oh, she's she is. She's a clever one. God damn it. That's obvious. Granted, it was my stepdad, Jim, to Ryan. Yeah. But still, that's obvious. You know, that's that's. Hmm. How did we not see that? I feel used and abused. I do too, man. I feel like I was literally just a rung of a ladder for someone to step on.

Just to get to that glorious fucking Kyle Rittenhouse at the top. Should we warn Toby that this is coming? This is coming down the pipe? Be so happy. I don't want to take that away from him. You saw they went, he just posted recently, they went on a vacation to Iraq. They've been posting pictures every day. Yeah.

Beautiful country. Yeah, I did. Do you think maybe that was like the joke? You know, they went as like a joke thing because he's like, hey, your name's ISIS. You know where ISIS is from. What if we, you know, just as a like a joke thing because he's like, hey, your name's Isis. You know where Isis is from. What if we, you know, just as a joke? That would be weird, I guess. It is a beautiful country.

But yeah, I did see those vacation pics. And I forgot to bring my sun hat last time I went. Oh, dude, your sunburn was awful. I was complaining like a mother. You were, but you were peeling, man. We got back in the hotel room and you couldn't even get in the hot tub, because your sunburn was too bad. I got in a cold tub. Yeah, you did. But I don't know if we

should tell Toby. He seems so happy, man. Let him have this little bit of happiness before the fall. And he'll shoot the messenger. You know, he'll hate us. That is true. Yeah, you don't want to call out. Okay, well, our hands seem to be tied

in this scenario but yeah I'm glad we got to the bottom of it though it seems like we pieced together a certain toxic pattern and I've heard that from many people that Kyle Mr. Rittenhouse is a generous lover

oh really yes I have heard that who have you heard these things from well you have to be close to these people to hear for so like oh no when you're someone like kyle that he has a reputation for for what he can do with that hog with his little porky the pig he can he's got a reputation for it let's just uh let's just say that uh mr rittenhouse uh behind the scenes is known a little better for a different type of shooting ejaculating he's very uh good in the sack let's go to ads. He killed people. Was that in poor taste? He killed people. Ah, fuck. That was in poor taste, wasn't it?

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Well, Kyle has a great jawline, too. If you can't gauge, Matt and I are actually racist. Yes, very much so. That's all right. Whatever I tried to be genuine, I just wanted to make into a joke. I'm like, our views don't, you know. No, Kyle Rittenhouse is an awful human being, and we don't like Kyle the reason for that being I lent him

some stuff and he never returned it specifically I lent him Pokemon Emerald and that costs a lot of money these days that goes for like 90 bucks on eBay you even lent him your SP I did and I have yet to hear back I've literally texted Kyle like three times

Like hey man you know you've had it for two and a half months The game doesn't take that long to beat And I was wondering I didn't even ask for it back I just said hey can you give me a general idea of when I can get it back Nope So you know that's what it is And to all of the people that apparently get upset Over us quote unquote

Lying so much Like on the podcast I'm sorry that our lives are so entertaining that the only way for you to cope is to call them lies i know it pisses me off when people are like all they do on the podcast is make up these fake stories and these lies i'm like oh i'm sorry you know that sitting in in a basement in indiana eating gruel all day is is you know, that sitting in a basement in Indiana eating gruel all day is, you know, what you think everyone does. But guess what? We're out here hanging out with Kyle Rittenhouse. Or we were hanging out with him.

I mean, you know, I haven't heard from him in a while. But, you know, we're out here doing awesome shit. Yeah, maybe you should stop volunteering at a children's hospital and get a real fucking job. Like YouTuber. And maybe then you'll experience the exciting and whimsical lifestyle that we have maybe one of these days you know i just i don't know people like i i've seen it every now and there's like they just it's always these fake bits and it's like were they there yeah they weren't they there they weren't there so it seems like a he said

she said doesn't it you know what it? You know what they do? You know what they do when they say that we're liars? You know what they're doing? Crying, seething, coping. They're crying, seething, coping, pissing, shitting, not coming, and they're bearing false witness. Yep. You know who else bore false witness? Judas.

Judas. That's right. Guess how much he bore false witness for? 30 pieces of silver. Isn't that insane? Not even a slice of gold. No, 30 mere pieces of silver. No frankincense, no myrrh.

Betrayed the Christ. Even though that would have been an awful, silver is way more valuable than, betrayed him for like a little bit of frankincense. But afterwards he's like, ah, that was a bad deal. I should have gone for the myrrh. He's like, that's why he wasn't upset because he betrayed Christ and felt bad about it. It was because he's like, I could have gotten so much more. God damn it. Really? That's the deal I made? 30 pieces of frankincense? God damn it. 30 pieces of frankincense?

Fuck! God damn it. What even is- Frankincense is- What are those? Growing up, I always thought they were like- I always thought frankincense was like incense, probably because of the name. I thought it was a plant type shit. Is it not?

Is it like a metal? Oh no, is it- Here we go. What is frankincense, And does it even fucking exist? It's a liquid. It's an aromic resin used in incense. So it is incense. Oh.

I thought it was like some sort of nice smelling plantish type extract or some shit. Judas finds this out and he looks and he has a little bag of rocks and he's like, wait a fucking second. Oh my god, I'm so stupid. Now what's myrrh? Myrrh is, right? That's a metal. That's a plant? The Marine Education Research and Rehabilitation Institute. It's spelled with a Y. Well, so education can be spelled with a Y.

I'm just giving you the first thing that popped up, okay? It's a sap-like substance. It's a resin that comes out of cuts in the bark of certain trees. Okay, so that's the plant thing. Okay. Why the fuck, bro? Why are they bringing this baby that's just born in the freezing cold

incense and plants? Bring him a fucking blanket. How about that? It's probably good for a baby's digestion or something, you know? Sure, but yeah, he's fucking freezing cold, man. He was just born. He can't even eat food yet.

Feed him the frankincense. He could have some frankincense. Maybe some of the myrrh to wash it down. Give him a little sip of that frankincense. Yo, we out here doing shots in the club. We're in the club doing shots of frankincense. Now, you didn't think frankincense was incense because it sounded similar, right? That's 100% why I thought that.

Okay. But look at that. It worked out. Everything worked out. I'm fist bumping Matt. I want you at some point to, you know, lay me down in swaddling cloth and anoint me with frankincense and myrrh.

Would you do that? Yeah. Is this your water? That is my water. Would you like some? Oh, oops. I dropped something. Could you pick that up for me what is it hey dude oh my god man sorry i fell on the floor what is that it's a it's a vial of poppers man oh what looks like the lord is trying to tell you something

lord's not oh wait a second we were just talking about liquids that you sniff right that's an interesting connection right god's plan there are a lot of bad things that you wish and a wish and a wish and on me wait and we were just talking about jesus christ and then you brought up Drake. That's a connection. Yep. Drake, like the dragon. Well, it's not a dragon. It's a, well, it.

The one that Christ slayed in Bethlehem? Yeah. Is that a Mormon thing? Did Christ slay a dragon? Honestly, I believe it if that was in there. That Christ slayed a dragon? A Drake. A Drake, yeah.

Not our drake. If Christ slayed our drake, you know, I'm going atheist. A drake is in the non-mythical creature that exists even to this day. Well, drake is a little, in my mind, a little mythical. You know, he's got mythical qualities about himself. He does. qualities about himself he does he has a uh he has a uh habit of just uh no one who to befriend he knows who to he how do i put this he knows how to solidify long-lasting relationships Billie Eilish, Billy Bobby Brown. Billy Bobby Brown?

Millie Bobby Brown, Billy Bobby Brown. Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bobby Brown. Whoa. Sorry, just that's another connection. You know who loves doing poppers? Billy Bob Thornton.

Does he? That's three connections in a row, man. I think that that's the Lord trying to tell me something.. You know who loves doing poppers? Billy Bob Thornton. Does he? That's three connections in a row, man. I think that that's the Lord trying to tell me something. And you know who, you know Billy Bob Thornton, what movie he starred in, right? Passion of the Christ. No.

That wasn't him? Bad News Bears. He was in Bad News Bears. The remake of Bad News Bears. He wasn't in the Passion of the, he wasn't Christ? He was not in the Passion of the Christ. He was not in The Passion of the Christ. He has never been in a movie, I don't think, that depicted Jesus.

I mean, this is a Mandela effect for me, dude. I swear to God, Billy Bob Thornton played Jesus Christ in Passion of the Christ. He was in a movie where he had ravenous sex with Catwoman. He was in a movie where he had ravenous sex with Catwoman. People thought that they were actually having real sex when they saw the movie. I don't even know what the movie's title is. Billy Bob Thornton. Boink's a hot lady. I only remember when I was young, I was like, movie sex scenes, you know?

Billy Bob Thornton boinking Catherine Zeta-Jones. It just popped up as one of them, you know? There are a lot of classic sex scenes out there You also come to peer pressure. No no way Yeah, I'll pop off alright. Oh shit. Matt's about to pop off. You know what who needs rehab? Oh Yeah, baby, you know what I'll pop off. Fuck, I feel the devil coming inside me. Like, going and snot. Yeah.

Oh, my God. No, I'll tell you something, brother. I don't feel the devil coming inside me. I feel Jesus Christ coming inside me right now. Yeah, you do. Jesus, God, whoever you want. It's just this warmness. You can feel them coming inside of you you can feel like the warmness filling your

stomach it's nice yeah I can feel that warmth that warm love of Christ inside of me like after the release you get that rush of like ahhh after being uh after having them come inside of you is the uh does the audience get this joke?

I want to, maybe we should do a couple more iterations of it just to really make sure that they get the joke. We could do iterations or we could just explain it. No, I don't want to explain it. I say we explain it by doing the joke more obviously. It is a complex joke. It's kind of hard to explain. It's hard to get. And, you know,

these YouTube podcast listeners, they don't get this complex type of stuff. I mean, for Christ's sake, they think our life is a lie. Yeah. You know, so, they probably don't understand

this type of humor. Oh, man. I love it when Jesus comes inside of me. And just because you're breathing doesn't mean you're alive. So check us out on Facebook, Twitter,

and YouTube, our EB comes out, you know. Remember that? it's a good reference bet y'all don't know it I bet you $20 they don't get that reference bet you they don't I bet you $20 they don't get that reference

and that's a lot of money so that's a big bet to make you get it though of course I get it when you whisper like that into the microphone I can feel it tingling all over my body I know you get it. Stop, man. When you whisper like that into the microphone, I can feel it tingling all over my body. I know you fucking get it. Stop, man. Stop.

You're sending chills down the spines of everyone listening right now. Hey, editor Luke. Hey, Luke. You know Luke hates this, right? I'm talking to you right now, baby. Do you cut this or do you not? Am I going to say something naughty so you might have to cut it? I don't know.

You're just going to have to pay attention, baby. Are you going to say something naughty? So you might have to cut it. I don't know. You're just going to have to pay attention, baby. Are you going to say something naughty? I don't know. He'll just have to cut it. So Aziz Ansari is uncanceled, right? Oh, yeah. We owe him a big apology. I think we all owe Louis C.K. a big apology.

Oh, I got an update. I've been watching, um, I've now watched The Righteous Gemstones twice. All the way through. Twice in a row? You liked it that much? I did. Third season's coming out soon, huh? Next month.

Perfect time for a fellow South Carolina boy to give it a watch. You know, it's really funny. Everson's better call Saul Stop Daring. Maybe there's something the boys could start watching. Does it release on a certain day? Weekly yeah Dude you guys On Sundays?

I I don't know June 18th if that's a Sunday Start coming over Having some wings again Please please dude It's so funny You would love it

I could binge it It's 18 episodes It's only 18 I've watched it twice Is each episode 45 minutes to an hour Nope Or is it like 24 to 25 Because it's HBO

They vary Some of them are an hour And some of them are like 30 minutes. Oh, shit. Some of them are 45 minutes. It's weird. But it's really- I do love John Goodman. John Goodman is great in it.

Danny McBride is fucking phenomenal in it. I don't- And I'm not trying to start shit. I'm just not the biggest fan of- What's his name? Divine? Adam. Adam Divine.

Adam Divine. I'm not the biggest supporter of him so it's a it's a specific type of bro comedy for sure he plays the the same pastor does he play the same character that he usually does in every single movie let me let me let me put it this the he's playing the 30 year old that that that looks young and acts the way he looks, essentially. He acts like a middle schooler. A 30-year-old that acts like a middle schooler. Yeah. Not like us.

Nope. No. He plays the youth leader. Can we get a part in this show? Dude, I would love to audition because they shoot it in Charleston. I'm already tied with Danny McBride. You know that. Oh, yeah.

You're best buddies. Yeah, we're tied, man. After working on that shoot. You know? That long shoot, that grueling shoot. It was an all-day shoot. Crazy thing is it actually was an all-day shoot, even though I had just a non-speaking extra role.

But you got to stand before his grace. He was very funny. And you also got to stand before, what's that other dude? The goofy sounding name? Ryan, I re-watched, now I've watched Vice Principals. Was not Walton Goggins. So you lied. I thought that he was on set.

What happens to liars, Matt? I didn't know Walton Goggins back then. So I thought that he was on set was not him what happens to liars Matt what happens to liars I didn't know Walton Goggins back then so I thought that it was him on set and then I went back and watched cause I never actually wasn't he in Vice Principals

he is the main character Walter Goggins yeah Walton Walton don't call him Walter I thought the main character was Danny McBride

or they're both are they competing Vice Principals yeah they're competing for the role as Vice Principal and then it gets oh I thought they were like Vice Principals at different Yeah, they're competing for the role as vice principal. Oh, I thought they were vice principals at different schools. No, they're the same. So basically, but yeah, Adam Devine plays a character where he's the youth pastor that is trying to be hip.

But his character is really fucking funny. And what I say is the way he dresses. He has the gel hair and the beanie and all the necklaces and the V-neck and shit. So funny. But Walton Goggins in is undoubtedly the best character in Righteous Gemstones. I do like him. He plays this like he had some hilarious lines in Django. He did.

He had some really funny ones, didn't he? He no, dude, he he plays this like old pastor type guy guy that's, like, just real sleazy named Baby Billy. Baby Billy. Yeah, and he's, like, really red and has, like, white hair and... He got his start, like, he start, I'd say he was maybe recognized from Justified. Justified, and then he was in Sons of Anarchy. Oh, okay, he was in Sons of Anarchyarchy and then Quentin picked him up for a moot he started just showing he was in um he was in Django he was in the uh

what's the snowy cabin the crazy eight or whatever the fuck it's called hateful eight yeah hateful eight yeah he's he's crazy he's really he's a phenomenal actor but uh I will say uh Righteous Gemstones you know uh is his best work? in my opinion yes

is John Goodman good in it? John Goodman is good man he uh he's very good it's also just you know they shoot in Charleston

obviously and remember on the last episode I talked about how they shot at the restaurant across from my Chick-fil-A I did they show my Chick-fil-A

that's right in the final episode of season 2 across from my Chick-fil-A? I did. They show my Chick-fil-A. That's right. In the final episode of season two, they show my fucking Chick-fil-A. Full shot. And I went, if you thought I did the Leo thing like that last time,

holy freaking crap, Lois. I went, oh my God, there it is. You can see the drive-thru and everything. You know, I think enough time has worn off.

While these were poppers, it was also, in fact, a truth-telling serum. What? Because I have something to ask of you. What? Where were you on January 6th? I was here. Just hanging out man

I was I was here man hanging out playing some pocket pool I was in Washington D.C. yep yep i knew it i knew it yep not for the reason you think though i knew it not for the reason you think okay so let me let me tell my side of the story all right i show up with my with my protest signs and everything excited for you to be there i text you where are you and you say oh sorry i missed my flight and now thanks to this goddamn truth telling serum

i found out you were actually there ditching our a fun hangout sesh with your boy who who was so important that you had to not want not only did you have to ditch me you probably had to cautiously look out every every few minutes to make sure i wasn't in sight and my signs were awesome i spent a lot of time on those goddamn signs ryan i I didn't want you to find out this way, man. Listen, it's not that I didn't want to protest at the Capitol with you that day. It's just another friend invited me, you know, and it's another friend group. And I just don't, I didn't think that you guys would vibe, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings and, you know, flake on you. So I just, I just said, no, I'm sorry. I can't.

So I went and hung out with them. I just said, sorry, I can't. So I went and hung out with them. It's just like, there's not... Like, that's a once in a lifetime... It's like Haley's Comet, you know? It's a once in a lifetime thing. I mean, it's all over and done with now, so... Oh, man, these other friends,

I just don't know if you vibe with them that well. I fucking knew it, dude. Should've listened to Jesus. Speaking of Jesus, Ryan, I mean, you sniffed that truth serum too, didn't you? That's right. You sniffed it as well. Yeah. You just laid all your fucking cards out on the table, didn't you?

You know, you could've gone this whole time without telling me that was truth serum. But now you've told me that? You know, I still would have answered the same anyway. I would have told the truth without even realizing I had sniffed truth serum. But now look at you. Look like a damn fool, that's what you look like. So can I ask you a question, Ryan? No.

No. So, do you like my music? What the? That yowch stuff? Is that what? Do you like it? Like, is it, do I make good music or? Yes, I'm actually jealous of your musical capabilities.

Really? Really? Damn you, Matt Watson. Damn you for making me speak from the heart. Hey, Ryan, I got one more question to ask you would you like to you know maybe do the Patreon exclusive after hours

show now Patreon is that the same place with people can all you know they pay $5 to join they become a patron of SuperMega and then they not only get the after show for the podcast, but they get Uncle Sleepover, which is uncles Matt and Ryan commentating over movies, the most recent one being the Social Network. And so we do that.

We upload it. And then, you know, all the nieces and nephews get to watch it along with us. That's right. That's that new show, too. It has our new show on there, as well as, you know, for each episode of this podcast, an additional paywalled segment. Pretty cool. Pretty cool stuff

where you get to hear all the juicy gossip. Uncut mailroom episodes? Uncut mailroom episodes. Oh, whoa. And, you know, even, you know, Q&As, Q&A videos

where you can ask us questions and we'll answer them. Even, like, curated playlists and just behind- behind the scenes stuff and all sorts of fun stuff. Extended versions of popular videos, you know, whatever. Also, you know, I think something to mention before this cuts out is that, you know, since it was Truth Serum, you know, you know that we were telling the truth the whole time and there was no gaslighting or fantastical stories. That's right. We were telling the truth.

That's right, actually, because for all the loons who call us liars about the stories we tell, guess what? We were on truth serum the whole time. Yep. That's right. So how could we be liars if we both had some truth serum? Unless it's the stuff that makes us look bad then that was simply jokes no or uh anything that can be taken out of context ai yeah it was deep

fakes anyway we'll see you next week and we'll see our patrons very very soon yeah maybe uh right now maybe you're actually watching this episode early and no ads on patreon or you're watching on youtube or listening to it on a streaming service and you're gonna go you know what now i'm gonna go right now and give those fucking bozos five bucks and next thing you know i'm gonna listen to more super mega cast the secret sauce let's do it bye guys bye bye Matt and Ryan that was not funny but I love super mega Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs

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