supermegashow - Matt's Doctor Hugged Him | supermegashow - 008
Episode Date: April 29, 2024Matt gets closer with his physician. Follow Matt: @matthwatson Follow Ryan: @elirymagee Follow the show: @supermegashow To watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/supermegashowYT Don’t forg...et to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/supermegashowpod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/supermegashowpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Trick or treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat.
And we did, we got you something really good to eat.
It's called the Super Mega Show.
That's right, episode number eight.
And you're ingesting it, you're right now, you're gorging on it.
Maybe you've been binging it. Yeah. Maybe you're on a binge right now, you're gorging on it. You've probably, maybe you've been binging it.
Yeah.
Maybe you're on a binge right now.
Don't go purging it.
But binging is fine, you know.
Swallow yourself a couple good episodes.
And this is gonna be probably the tastiest one yet.
Number eight is always fantastic, you know?
Because if you flip it sideways, it looks like the infinity symbol.
That's right, which means that this is gonna be the best episode of the show to ever exist
I don't
That's just setting up. That's just setting us up for failure. I know the second I said it
I realized out the second I said it dude. I just
It hit me. I was like I shouldn't have said that like puts a puts a dour tone on the whole episode and unfortunately
Luke forgot how to you know cut things out, so I mean he's great. And unfortunately, Luke forgot how to cut things out.
So I mean, he's great at editing,
but he forgot how to cut clips.
So he just kind of-
You've seen the recent episodes.
Yeah.
I mean, the-
Some things I thought were private conversations
between two buds, but apparently not.
It's conversations for the world to hear.
Yeah, like the whole 10 minutes leading up
to when we actually started and
the whole 20 minutes afterwards when you and I had that, you know, very deep discussion
about, you know, relationships and finances and stuff.
But hey, I mean, Luke's a great guy, so I can't be mad at him.
But you know, but yeah, welcome to Super Mega Show, the only show by Ryan McGee and...
Forget your name?
Well, it's like, you know, I say your name
and then you say mine, type of deal.
Oh, okay, we can go again.
Sure.
Welcome to Super Mega Show, the only show by Ryan McGee.
Did you forget your name again?
No, it's like I say your name, and then you introduce me
You want one more time?
Welcome to super mega. She's bad at timing things. I'm afraid that I like okay. Well. I can point at you. Yeah go okay?
Welcome to super mega show the only show by Ryan Wow
Sorry you talking no. It's okay stumble on that one. Let's try again. Maybe we can maybe we can just cut it together
So it's like you can just say it separately
Welcome to super mega show the only podcast but that with Matt Watson and Ryan McGee. Okay, there you go
That worked right? Yeah, okay
But uh everyone you should be excited because why little Matthew over here, I'm gonna answer that.
I was talking to the audience, don't be rude and interject.
I'm sorry.
Matt has something very delicious, very wonderful
to drop onto us today, and that's a lovely little story.
He came to me yesterday and said,
Ryan, something happened to me at the doctor's office.
And then he bit his bottom lip and I was like, what?
He goes, I can't tell.
I was like, what is it, Matt?
He started playing with his hair,
twisting it around his fingers.
I'll tell you on the podcast, it's pretty cool.
So I'm interested to see what that cool story was
from the doctor's office.
Well, if you're new to SuperMega, then something you might not know is that I guess I have a history of interesting doctor's office interactions.
A doctor one time searches belly button or just stick his finger in his belly button and wriggle it around.
Yeah, long story short, there was a podcast episode of Super
MegaCast. Not this time right? That's not what happened. No no no not this time.
Basically what the doctor did was it was just a regular physical checkup. Paint
the picture. This is a story. This is a story time with with Matthew. Story time
with Matthew. Gather around children. I was... exterior. Nope interior. Okay, but day day
Hospital interior doctor's office was a hospital. It was more like a small doctor's office, but yeah, I'm sitting on the table
You know the one with the paper on it. Oh, that's I hate that shit. I hate it. Just yeah
I I don't care if I get germs. I just don't want the paper
but the doctors giving me my physical,
he examines my carriage, my bits and bobs,
he goes, go ahead and cough for me,
I go, feels my testicles, goes,
wow, these are the nicest testicles and penis
I've ever seen.
But the weird thing was, at the end of the physical,
he did one more exam where I,
I don't remember if I laid down or if I was sitting up,
but he just started, put his finger in my belly button
and just started.
This isn't this time.
No, no, no, no, this is years ago,
and this is the story that I told on our prior podcast,
Super Mega Cast.
I keep having deja vu in this room,
like that moment right there, I was like,
have you said this exact same thing wearing that?
Nevermind, it's fine.
I feel like this whole podcast room is stuck in a time portal. Yeah, there's I have not
Experienced as much deja vu as I have in this room really yeah
Maybe like there's a there's a pocket in like you're leaning forward in that one. Huh you know what deja vu is though
I'm pretty I can predict the future means I'm the chosen one means your psychic
Yeah, it means that our aliens are gonna come down and they're gonna beg for me to come help them with
Intergalactic warfare, so you're the only one please you can only one that could save our planet and our race Ryan
But back to the doctors. Sorry back to the doctors anyway long story short he
Jammed his finger deep into my navel and kind of dug his finger around,
like pushed really deep and was really uncomfortable.
I told this on the podcast thinking that this was just part
of a normal checkup and Ryan was like, what, no?
I've never had a doctor stick his finger
in my belly button before.
And then Ryan went around the office.
To just, to ask, you know, have you ever had a doctor
stick his finger inside of your belly button?
Everyone that I asked the question to around the grumps place looked at me with confusion
With each no it became more apparent to me
What why was he doing that checking for a hernia? You know, but this was years ago years ago
But now I got a new doctor now
Now your debt oh years ago but now I got a new doctor now now well clock wipe okay okay to signify
that this is passage of time yeah half a decade in the future I have a brand new
doctor one that's not gonna stick his finger in my belly button I really like
this guy he's a he's a nice doctor. We get along. We have some
good camaraderie with each other. When I go to his office for a checkup, it's very mature.
It's very like, I don't feel like a little kid at the doctor's. I feel like two grown
men having a chat about my medical conditions.
You feel like two grown men?
I feel like two grown men myself. Well, I go for split personality disorder.
Do do. Yeah. That's pretty good. But you don't. I feel like too grumblin' myself. Well, I go for split personality disorder, so.
Do-do.
Psss.
Yeah?
That's pretty good.
But you don't.
No.
I went for the whole testosterone thing.
Yeah.
But you know, I've been talking about so far on the show.
This wasn't a physical, this was something to do with just,
nothing to do with your bibs and bobs, right?
No, this was exclusively just a checkup
regarding how the first few weeks
of testosterone therapy was going.
I'm sitting down, we're kind of just talking
about health stuff and we wrap it up
and he's like, all right, well I guess we'll check back in
in a few months and I was like, all right, thank you.
And I get up, I stand up, and I don't know,
I don't know if it was something I did
that maybe made him think that this is what was happening
or if this was just his own choosing,
but the doctor just hugs me, and I hugged him.
We just ended up standing up like this,
and then it was just, we just hugged in silence
And then I said
So were you and the doctor both sitting down or was he standing up and you were standing up?
No, we were both sitting down. Okay, and the door stand up and he starts to stand up with you
We stand up at the same time. Look tell me if this is what happens
Hey, thanks.
That's hilarious!
No, just like that.
We stand up.
Me going in for it?
Giving your doctor like...
And it was silent.
Like an uncle's hug at a wedding or something.
Or a family get together.
That's what it was! It was just like an embrace.
Like a Tinder embrace. Like how you would, you know,
if you're saying goodbye to a friend,
like a close friend that you're not gonna see
for a couple weeks.
He said you do like this doctor.
Well I really like him a lot.
Maybe he sees you as a close friend.
I don't know dude.
I mean, it was just very, I don't wanna say off-putting.
It just caught me off guard.
Did he pat you or rub your back at all?
It was just.
Did you pat his or rub his back at all? It was just- Did you pat his or rub his back at all?
He called me buddy and gave me a hug.
And-
How long did the hug last?
How many Mississippis could I have counted to?
Probably two Mississippis.
Like one Mississippi, two Mississippi.
No, no kissing.
Yeah.
But-
Imagine if he kissed you on the forehead
after giving you the hug.
What would have been your reaction then?
I probably would have laughed, awkwardly.
Like I probably would have been like, alright, and then I probably would have said see you
later and left, confused.
But I did leave confused.
I walked out of the...
I was like, why did my doctor hug me?
It's exactly what I was thinking.
I was walking down the hall, like, to desk to check out and I'm walking down the
hall and I literally was just thinking, I was like, why did we just hug?
Because I didn't initiate it.
But I don't know, thinking back, was it just something where it just naturally happened?
We were just drawn together where we,
I didn't give any signals.
Was he ever like, how you doing?
You're like, ah, it's going all right.
Just going through some stuff.
No, well he asked me how I had been doing
and I said I was doing fine.
I've been good lately so I told him that.
He went just fine.
I can fix that.
And then he stood up and gave you a little hug. That sounded like a big hug.
Was it tight, did he squeeze?
No, it wasn't.
Did he just hold you?
He just held me.
Tenderly.
It wasn't like a tight hug where he like,
you know, really like,
my little patient.
It was more a.
My little patient.
It was more just two guys embracing.
But you hugged him back.
Yeah.
You didn't just stand there with my hands by my side.
I hugged him back because it was the second I realized he was going in for a hug.
I didn't know what to do so I went in for it too and I patted him on the back.
I don't know dude.
I have never even as a kid, you know, because when you're a kid you get close to your I was about to say
paleontologist for some reason. Oh that happens. But you're a what the fuck is little pediatrician
like if you're a kid you know your pediatrician is almost like a uncle you don't see too often. You know, he's still a nice dude,
but like, with any recent medical professional,
I don't think I've ever been to the point where,
like, I've gotten to the point where it's like a smile
and a goodbye, you know, maybe not really even a handshake,
but a hug.
Well, that's the thing, is like, not even a handshake,
because I feel like doctors are very sanitary
and they don't want to do
That and a hug is like the most up close because he's working in a clinic breath particles are going in each other's noses
Hope it still exists. Yeah, the flu exists, you know the mom's I could have gotten the mumps from him
But I was just thinking like is it weirder if it's if if your doctor hugs you as a kid or I?
Argue it's weird as an adult, honestly.
Yes.
Because then it's just two grown men, you know?
I'm not like a youngin', I'm 28 years young.
Maybe this is a part of the new age.
Maybe, you know, in this new world we live in
with the different ways people are growing up,
maybe this is just a part of it. Your doctors give hugs now. you know, the different ways people are growing up.
Maybe this is just a part of it. Your doctors give hugs now.
That's just it.
It's just kind of like a norm.
We're living in a new world.
I don't know, how many people in the audience,
who's like, it would be cheating if the doctor
was a close friend or a family member.
You are excommunicated from this poll.
But if you've ever hugged your doctor,
I'm curious.
I wanna know about it.
The same way you went and asked people.
Who initiated the hug?
He did.
Not as in like, I wanna know who initiated the hug.
Because like, I went over it a lot in my head
when I was leaving and driving home.
I was kinda just driving in silence
thinking about that hug.
And it's not like it made me uncomfortable
or anything necessarily.
It was nice.
Not uncomfortable in the sense where I'm like,
all right, that was downright inappropriate.
That was harassment.
You know, nothing like that.
Did it lift your spirits a little?
No, it didn't really lift my spirits.
I just thought it was weird.
And I'm wondering if maybe
Maybe when I stood up
So I was blocking the door because I was sitting closer to the door than he was watching your podcast actually
Next time I come in he's just kind of like got his like you know he's very short with me
And then you get up to leave and he's like he's just like
I'm like what? And then you get up to leave and he's like, he's just like, well, I would hug you, but apparently that's a problem.
I'm like, what are you talking about?
What are you talking about? Are you sure you're not just saying that?
Cause I was listening to Super Mega Show.
I'm like, I love the idea of going in.
He's just so, he's so short with me.
Just, that is one of my worst fears.
If any like person that like, like a doctor or like a server
or anyone you know anyone that I come across that is working their job and I'm
going in there as like a you know I'm I'm going in there to barter you know
maybe mm-hmm and trade but I it's just a big fear that they end up it's like so
this is weird but I actually watch you and it's fine it's whatever but it's just a big fear that they end up, it's like, so, this is weird, but I actually watch you.
And it's fine, it's whatever,
but it always makes me go, oh no.
It's more of so like the instant panic of,
what do they know about me that I don't know,
that I forgot that I've said.
Exactly, it's like, for me,
it's this person who is a stranger to me, it's the sudden realization that they know a lot for me. It's it's this person who is a stranger to me
It's the sudden realization that they know a lot about me intimate stuff Yeah, very intimate hug your doctor or the first time I masturbated in my grandma's bathroom on the toilet
So it's like well now you're just giving more people that information well. I've given that one out before
My mom even brought it up to me slinging some rope into your grandmother's toilet
my late grandmother's
And and there was no rope to be slung at the time. Oh, yeah, she was late at the time
And if you get if you catch my drift
It was a pregnancy never mind, but basically I was slinging no rope back then it was when uh
You know just nothing would come out yet. Which I still have that problem.
But basically.
A single tear.
A single clear tear would.
Like my penis would cry a single tear.
But basically I was wondering if maybe I,
maybe I gave him a mixed signal by accident.
Maybe it was the way I stood up.
He expected I was going in for a hug.
So maybe in his mind, right after I left he went why did why did he just hug me?
Like why did we hug me? Yeah, maybe you read it wrong?
Maybe it wasn't a hug and it was just like he was he lost his balance and like was using you for support
He's older and then you just came around and wrapped yourself around him
We were so the way we were sitting was but he went in for the hug you said he initiated the hug
Yes, or maybe you read it wrong
No, he initiated it
But I'm wondering if it's possible that the way I stood up he thought that I was initiating a hug and he didn't want
To be awkward so he went for it, and I read it as him initiating because oh wait
He wasn't it wasn't like he hugged and then you hugged him back
You both kind of at the same moment went for a hug.
It wasn't like I'm standing there and he like comes in and brings me in.
It was at the same time it just happened.
But he was the one that initiated it like the most.
Like I only hugged him back because he was hugging me and I didn't want to be awkward.
So but the way I was sitting was I'm sitting in a chair much like I am now and I have my
backpack right here because I don't like to leave it in my car in case it's LA.
It breaks into your, you know.
I don't want them getting in my hard drive.
Keep your stuff safe.
Exactly.
I have witnessed like first hand people's cars just getting broken into.
Well you and I used to break into cars a lot.
Just kidding. But I have my backpack here and he's sitting you know where you are
about that close but reversed and no no no no not facing the other way he was
flipped where it was like he's facing the wall. So Matthew tell me about how
you're feeling. No he wasn't flipped like flipped like that Matthew I was uh I was going through your for your blood work results through your records good lord
You got a lot of blood in that body
You got a lot of blood baby boy. Thank you
so what
What did you want to talk about today? Sorry, it's so hot in here.
Actually, I was coming because I'm having trouble achieving orgasm during equitis.
Excuse me?
What are you doing?
Tell me, you can talk to me.
Just I'm having a hard time.
Oh, this plant just getting in the way of my toes.
Hey, careful.
Yeah, I just, when I have sex with my toes. Hey careful yeah I've just when I'm when I
have sex with my fiance. That's okay. Well I know it's okay I'm just wondering what
can we talk. I'm here for you as your doctor. Okay well maybe. Anything else you you ever
need like a friend? Well I'd like a maybe a prescription for something that could
help me. A prescription for a friend. I don't really know no
Really forcing himself the good doctor, but basically isn't what good doctor played by Charlie from Charlie
It is it is Charlie Puck
Surgeon forgot about that
I am a surgeon! Doctor, I forgot his name.
Hon? Doctor Hon!
Doctor Hon.
Then Doctor Hon is just...
That's so Doctor Hon coded.
You know, Doctor Hon,
this is the actor who plays Doctor Hon,
is playing Ozai.
Daniel Dae Kim?
Yeah, Daniel Dae Kim.
He was on Lost. He's zaddy, dude.
Yeah, he is.
He was zaddy on Lost as well.
Was he, like, as a child, as a baby boy, did he have that head you think?
Like you think that jaw was just already chiseled? Dude, the jaw looks fake.
But it isn't. No. Could it be? You can have, you can get a jaw implant.
I want to see like Daniel Dae Kim. No I don't want to go into his like that seems a little too personal. You know what's funny? Technically you and
I, if he does who cares? Today we could send emails to begin the process of you
and I both getting Chad jaw implants at the same time and you and I could you
know maybe like a month from now podcast episode starts and something looks a
little different about us and we have those beautiful chiseled Chad jaws like we're face apt in real life
Wait real quick back the last thing I'll say about the doctor thing is I'm wondering if
Here's a possibility. I was putting my backpack on when I stood up and it was like this watch
like to get my backpack and maybe this motion just he was like I don't know he hugged me pretty confidently but after the hug was like alright yeah it just ended it was like alright
I'll see you I'll see you soon buddy and I like the silence of a hug the silence in the
room it was silent you could have heard a pen drop I like the silence in the room. It was silent.
You could have heard a pin drop, I bet.
Yeah, yeah.
You could have definitely heard a pin drop.
I want, do you think next time you could initiate the hug?
So you could get this ball rolling?
I'm wondering if-
So every time you give him a hug after seeing him?
I'm going in,
I have a follow-up appointment in a couple months, like two months
or so, and it's, I just wonder, like, when I go in, I'm going to be wondering the whole
time, is it going to end in a hug? Is this appointment also going to end in a hug? And
if it does, I will update you and everyone. There's a way to know for sure. Initiate the
hug. I'm not going to initiate the hug I'm not going
to initiate the hug I'm going to see if he does well that's how I'll know for
sure if this is standard thinks maybe he's like oh did I make him
uncomfortable and he doesn't have your number right yeah he has my number oh he
has your personal number yeah he's my doctor I text him with stuff you don't
text that you don't you don't call the doctor's office
I don't think it's like here's my number Matthew. No, I don't think it's his Wow
You're so good at your job come by my place for brunch anytime. I if I have questions
I send him a text about things, you know, cuz it well, okay
Here's the thing my my with the computer when Bing it's it's still going. It's good
My whole life. I've just been going to very casual,
you know, it's like very professional. I go to a doctor
that sees a bajillion clients. He's like, who are you again? Oh, okay, yeah, let's look at your records.
This is like the first time... The Hinge of Doctors, essentially. Exactly.
This is... Doctor visits. That was more the grinder of Doctors. You're just screwing around.
In and out. But this is more of a... a love that place this is more of the bumble you
know I'm in it for the long run here this is actually like the first time I've
had a what's the what is bumble bumble is more for relationships than hookups
tinder is is bumble the one where you like hold up, before we go any further, I have to just be honest here.
It's time to go to ads.
I don't want to go to ads.
Well, we have to.
Luke, roll the ads.
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And we're back, um
I'm gonna carry on what I was saying okay? Yeah, I think isn't it like the the girls have to like you
Okay, so that's bumble and then hinges with all the questions and then
That's those are the two big ones
What's the Raya is that the one Raya's for celebrities and you have to have a level is or have a certain number of followers or be verified I
think they probably got rid of the verification rule because doesn't mean
anything anymore yeah but uh which some would say that's a good thing everyone's
equal now well Raya you know that's how Amy Schumer met her husband really mm-hmm
well she's I
Think she's had a kid. I will say actually so I I'd happy I never had a Raya account
Basically, you have to be invited by someone that's on there already so not anyone can join
But I remember a while back I was hanging out with someone that had a Raya and she opened up the app because we were all curious
opened it up first person on there was a what's his face from hereditary Nat Wolfe.
Hey Alex Wolfe.
He's just trying to get some pun tang.
Oh no nothing wrong with it.
It's just like it actually there are actually like celebrities on there and then but most
of the people are like children of producers.
Yeah.
That are very rich.
My dad's
Not famous. He just has a lot of money though. Exactly. So can I have can I can I hook up with celebrities?
It's a bunch of you'll see a lot of like smaller celebrities like oh that person was on Disney Channel or that person
You don't think is on a Raya
Leonardo DiCaprio, maybe
No, Leo is probably on tinder. Yeah, probably on tinder
And I know Bon Jovi's on Grindr right tinder goonies when he's away in some other country filming a movie just
Mm-hmm. He could see who likes him first
No one would think it's real though if
The big oh, here's a guy using Leo's picture
but
Anyway, that's my dr. Hug story and in a couple months I'll let you guys know.
His name's Doctor Hugs?
That's the new movie he stars in.
It stars as Doctor Hugs.
It's about a doctor that
Hugs.
Has an awkward encounter with a patient where
That changes his life forever.
Where he's like, why did that patient hug me?
But then the patient's like, why did that doctor hug me?
And it creates a whole series of You know series of like four to six seasons
out of that
Well, I really am wondering if it's if he left feeling like after I left he was like that was weird
Why did he hug me and it was it's really just a big misunderstanding. He's probably dealt
He's a doctor. He's probably dealt with worse than like a patient giving him a friendly hug, you know
Yeah, I mean he's probably feel like if he thought you were...
I don't know, for me, it feels like if I ever went to go hug my doctor, his reaction would
be, what are you doing?
Like, this is professional.
What are you doing?
No, I feel like most people...
Most doctors would accept a hug?
I think just out of not making it a conflict or being uncomfortable, they would just give a hug.
No, I don't, no, it's fine.
Would you say that what he did was wildly inappropriate?
I would say what he did is...
It's not, it's unconventional, it's not standard.
It's unconventional is the right word to use,
I would say, it's definitely unconventional.
I have not heard of any, of my friends family or even I have experienced Dr. Hugs
but you have what's so unconventional about spreading the love you know what's
what we need nowadays man the world is so fucked up man that's what we need we
need a little bit of love it just it just sounds like a Larry David sketch it
yeah it sounds like something from Curb.
Like he goes to the doctor, the doctor hugs him, he's like,
what is this? You're my doctor.
You know, he's the one that has the problem with it.
Well, I could see, you know, he hugs his doctor,
and the next scene is him, you know, having like lunch with someone.
He's like, so has your doctor ever hugged you?
Because my doctor hugged me.
It's like, your doctor hugged you, my doctor hugged me.
What are you like, like a tight hug, like a friendly hug?
I mean there's a bunch of types of hugs.
Just a hug.
It was just your typical average hug.
Now did you hug back?
Well I don't know if it's like, no, did you hug back?
Because that could send him a signal for something.
Well I don't know what was going on.
He just went for the hug. Now are you you know he didn't think you were going for
the hug we could write for curbs see so easy yeah except the show just ended
yeah great show though and he's he's old dude he watches the show he knows he's
old no he's looking he's a He's looking young as hell. Looks like a chicken. Come on, dude.
He's a millionaire.
Who fucking cares?
He doesn't.
No, we're not mean to millionaires.
We're mean to billionaires, Ryan.
You're getting it confused.
Can I be mean to both?
I love the idea of like... it's actually insane.
Like people defending their favorite millionaires.
Yeah, I know.
It's like, uh, especially the billionaire thing.
Like people that, people are so quick to defend billionaires.
And the funny thing is even me just saying this right now gets people riled up.
Like, it's like, do you, people, I don't think people realize how big of a difference a million
and a billion is.
It's fucking huge.
Like a million and a billion is. It's fucking huge. A million is huge. The most recent, what are like the top, not top, but in my recollection the most recent
in terms of pop culture billionaires that have existed would be like Kim Kardashian,
Taylor Swift. Go fuck yourself.
Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk. There he is.
Daddy Musk. Love Daddy Musk. There he is. Daddy Musk
Love Daddy Musk. Not Donald Trump
Unfortunately not. No. That's the whole thing is like
There's the whole debate is like well is he really a billionaire? I don't think he is I think he probably has several hundreds of millions. That's so funny though because at that point
It's just like oh, he's actually not a billionaire, he only has $750 million.
Good luck with that, poor boy.
That's like, uh, I don't, like Drake and some other rapper were beefing recently,
and I'm not kidding, the beef literally boiled down to...
Some other Drake and some other rapper?
It's Kendrick Lamar, buddy.
No, no, not Kendrick. Drake is beefing with several rappers.
J Cole, buddy.
I don't think it was J Cole either my I think was Rick Ross actually and oh yeah
They were publicly beefing over shit where it was like each other's DMS and stuff
No, he like I remember Drake showed a picture of Rick Ross's Palm Beach mansion
that had an empty lot next to it and
It was like worth. I think 80 million or something and he was
Blasting him was like you don't even own the lot next door and that like watching
I was because rich people like to buy out. Yeah, he's like you don't even own your neighbors lot
So watching these like ultra rich millionaires go at each other. It's so funny watching millionaires fight with each other
Well, it's because because we can't conceptualize what that's like.
Oh, the other thing they were fighting about was he was dissing him for having a used private jet.
His private jet was used and it wasn't brand new and he was shooting shots at him for that.
And I'm like, bro, you're so disconnected from reality.
Your private jet only has eight seats inside, mine has 12.
It's like with anything, you know, the average wealth or even like when you're talking about
average skill in video games, there's always that large bracket where it's just, that's
where the average is.
But then you got this up here, this tiny little thing,
which is where all the rich people,
or in the other case, people who are pros at video games,
or sports and stuff.
It's weird how it's just like,
there are so few of them in terms of like,
in the grand scheme of things,
but the power that they hold, in terms of like in the grand scheme of things but I
Think you know the power that they hold right not not and I'm not just like
Of course wealth gives you
notoriety power blah blah blah blah But like I'm more talking about like the power they just have over people in general just like people as a force
Yeah, like the I'm like the barbs and the Swifties. Yeah. And the, and the Elanheads,
I don't know what they call them. The Lawnheads? Assholes. The Musketeers? The Musketeers,
that's a good one! But, the Musketeers. That has to already be a thing. I know, I definitely
didn't create that. There's definitely people on Twitter that call themselves Musketeers. Do you want to for Jeff Bezos?
Um...
The...
The Bezziers?
No, uh, the...
Hmm...
See, now this is a little hard, because Musk is...
Bezos is not a standard word for rhyming.
Bezo bots.
Bezo boys.
Bezo, okay.
Bezo...
He's like a robot, the Bezo bots?
He does look like a robot with that eye thing.
You know, it's like how one is like
permanently open too much.
Or is it one is permanently too small
so the other one looks open by comparison?
I don't know, I haven't looked at too many
high quality photos of Jeff Bezos recently
You're missing out anyway
It's just funny watching like for them to be doing that type of beef publicly just shows how disconnected they are because it's like
Do you think like a dude that is working two minimum wage jobs is gonna look at that and go oh?
He got him
It's just so fucking do that in private. You know call up Rick Ross and go
Look y'all really talking about it online and all the attention. They're getting a lot of it comes
You're right the and maybe this is just I
Don't know what this is it maybe it's like the emptiness that comes with mass wealth
But in the only thing to fill that void is to try to get attention and notoriety
Because like you can buy anything you want but like do people like you do people respect
Something with Elon like he he wants to be funny and liked so fucking bad
And I don't see why people don't see that as cringy
I know a lot of people do but like there's a huge subset that like thinks that he's badass
well, I also have to remember like
the wealth of experiences for humans you know. I guess everyone just everyone has a different
lived experience. Exactly it's kind of not you know trying to defend the
the funny boys that that think he's epic but it it's just, you know, not everyone has lived life through my scope.
Yeah.
And, you know, is gonna judge this,
that's what makes life so grand and beautiful,
but at the same time annoying.
Yeah.
Because you will have people backing a cause
that is detrimental to them as a person, and're being used and they don't see it,
but it's like, who cares, I'm owning people.
That's, I think that's the, it's the most obnoxious,
it's on the right and the left,
this obsession with like owning the right
or owning the libs, it's just,
it's very performative and cringe
It is at the end of the day all you're doing is speaking to people that already agree with you
You're not trying to move the needle anywhere. It's it all comes down to like
Self-satisfaction with oneself like an ego thing and then just a self-driven thing of like
everyone agrees with me that I'm that I'm
self-driven thing of like, everyone agrees with me that I'm shouting this out to.
It's like, I don't know, there's so many like
Elon Bad videos, for example.
It's like, the people who don't like Elon don't like him.
The people who do, do.
No one's, oh come on, I said do-do, didn't I?
Yeah, you did say do-do.
And Matt was laughing.
Matt can't help himself but laugh at some do-do.
I feel like making like an Elon Bad video, for it's like it's not like you're not like
someone that really likes Elon it's not they're not going to watch that and go
hmm you know what? That's why it comes down to I think more of so it's just
like a an ego boost. It is it is. People going yes you're right your opinion
right and then it's just my opinion right that's really just I think that just sums
it up yeah and like fucking I don't know you you you look at the Stephen Crowder's and Candace
Owens it's on both sides of the it's it's on both sides of the field of the of the coin or whatever
whichever one you want to choose it's it it's uh it's not strictly the right or the left that is only doing it to the other.
I think it's also just humans. Humanity.
Us versus them type of thing. I'm just honestly like...
Gives you something to fight for.
Over the last year or so, there has been a shift inside of my little pea-sized brain where I'm just like, I'm so tired
of online discourse and online arguing.
And it's like-
But how will you ever change things, one might ask.
I just wanna make the funnies at this point.
I don't, it's just exhausting and, to a degree,
I I don't it's just exhausting and to a degree
stressful and anxiety inducing to always be
engaging in internet
What's the word discourse yeah, and that doesn't mean like it's like all speaking out about important issues. That's so exhausting I mean just the the the
issues that's so exhausting no I mean just the the the the tiny stupid like like the stuff that I could just close my computer and go for a walk outside
and nothing would be different it's like I can be like well I didn't need to
what a privilege that is for you some people can't do that. Well arguing about Elon? No, that's more of so just a statement on
the people who will get upset with the people that are definitely politically
on the same side as them but it's because they don't have as strong a
belief or made it public or make it as like in your face about it I guess. We're just we're so we're so ready and
and able to just get mad at everyone at every fucking second or we're wanting
someone to sling shit at because it feels good because I don't know I mean
it like think about it like in this way gossiping is fun right? Yeah. Gossiping is
a hoot right? Speaking of which, I need
to tell you some stuff about Luke when we go to break, but keep going. Let's just go
to break now, I'm actually curious. Okay, it's pretty bad. Okay. Okay, yeah.
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Sorry everyone, Matt's dead. Tucker prayed and brought me back. Oh my God. The nose on
that pickle rick is so bad. Yeah, why is there a nose? I do I don't remember there ever being a nose on pickle Rick
Is there like why is there a nose on this on this pickle Rick plush? I'm holding I
Swear to God there dude. There was not a nose on pickle Rick. This is like a Mandela effect thing like look
I'm gonna push the nose in that's pickle Rick
It doesn't have the fucking nose. Ooh
He does but it's a twin the nose is a lot smaller than that. That's pickle Rick. It doesn't have the fucking nose. Oh he does but
The nose is a lot smaller than that. That's pickle Rick
Like the nose should just be a little
Yeah, this is this is too much
It's one of those things that does not translate well to 3d like the Simpsons hanging over his mouth makes him look weird
Yeah, I don't you can have them
one of you lovely viewers sent us this Pickle Rick
Thank you ladies and gentlemen, we might be doing Coachella next year
Why aren't we doing it right now?
The main stage, fuckin' you and I up there in two chairs,
two folding chairs, so that you would have it like church.
Do you think it's possible if you and I
tried our little busies off, we could headline Coachella?
What, like with Drake and shit?
No, on our own.
Yeah. If we just dropped Super Megan now, started just doing like,
the music shit. The music shit became a duo. An underground rap duo. I think the world
has enough white rappers. No, I think you're wrong on that one actually. I think that what
the world needs, especially right now, are or more white rap is another duo of white rap
Man well, I think more than anything we need some more white rapper guests on the podcast. Yes
like Ben Ben
Just I mean the Fred is Fred word word? Well, Freddy is, he's not white.
What is that, like, what genre?
You're looking at me like you're lost.
Oh no, it's rap, but Freddy's not white, so.
It doesn't count.
He's Italian.
Italian?
Italian's white.
It is though.
You're completely wrong.
No, you are.
Okay, well you're gonna get people mad with this one.
Italians are Caucasian, I'm sorry. They are. Italian people aren't white, dude. They are though. No, they're not. Yeah, they're a little tan, but they're white.
Italian people are not white people
Sorry, you're just wrong on this one. It's just a fact. It's not though. Yeah, it is it is a fact though. Okay
Why did why do they call it Italian food not white food?
Boom because it's the culture
It's a race. No one says anything and no one says white food this white food. That's like American. It's Italian. It's
Chinese Japanese. It's a
Italians they don't they don't go. Oh look that's slightly tan food. Listen Ryan. That's slightly more tan food
Are you seriously gonna sit here and say that? That Italian people aren't white?
They are white.
Dude, you're going to...
What?
You might want to cut this whole thing out dude.
What about it?
You're making some pretty strong racial statements.
I have a feeling you don't even know.
Of course Italian people are white.
Of course Italian people are white. course Italian people white had to do
I had that I had to question his intelligence for him to come out with the real with with the real business
I was testing you of course Italian people are white. They're not white
Italians are not white. It's obvious everyone knows that people exactly French people and Italians neither of them are white
Aren't there people that think Italian people aren't white Italians?
I do love, god, Italians are something else, man.
What's your favorite thing about Italians?
Probably their food for me.
And their men.
Definitely the men.
Their love language.
Yeah, Tony Soprano, for example.
All the guys in the Sopran that's that's my type of guy
You know just a big loud Italian big loud hairy balding
And the voice is so funny
It's how Tony sounds it's great
Dude Tony Tony soprano's
Yeah, I watched the show so maybe that is whatoprano sounds like he has a very very distinct
Fuck you bitch. It's like he's talking to you when he says that
Anthony, doing you I really can't do it a bust you I can't get a bust open on you. I'm gonna bust them
I'm gonna crack his head wide open
Is that what he sounds like am I doing a good job with a Tony Soprano? It's better than mine, man
I just embarrassed myself because I can't I can't do a good Tony soprano impression
But I tried without practicing and what was that sounded like a toy that went off and then a like a clunk like a laser
Be like yeah, it was like
Was that you know?
It was sound like it was over there and that I don't know it was over there for me like it was like up
above us.
Maybe it's like, remember how you said this room could be like a portal?
Like a time portal?
It's gonna be safe.
Pickle Rick?
Yeah.
Yeah, no one's gonna take him, dude.
Okay, good.
You scared of some like interdimensional being
coming through a portal?
Well, the thing is, I wouldn't even know
what to look for with an interdimensional
Being because I wouldn't be able to see it existing
You know what's freaky it would be observing me, and I would have no idea that could be right now like
It's fully plausible that there are higher dimensional beings right here fucking super mega
Podcasts have to divulge into the fourth dimension. Yes. It does. It's cool shit. It's interesting and we know nothing about it
And we will continue to not learn much about it because I don't want to go to school for years to try to understand that shit
No, we're not going to ever know
Listen while you're sitting there typing on your little keyboard, okay
Can you guys shut up about the fucking fourth dimension?
There are fucking fourth dimensional beings all around you that you can't perceive but they perceive you and they are judging you right now and
They're looking at you with their hyper intelligence. They're going wow they seem
This seems like the dumbest of the third dimensional beings
I've ever seen mm-hmm, and they're probably rubbing their little fourth dimensional nuts right on you, and you can't even tell they're laughing right now
Mm-hmm with dimensional lungs and their throats
They're making fourth dimensional sounds while they're teabagging you and you're just sitting there typing your dumb little comments and their fucking fourth dimensional nutsack is going in and out of your head.
But you can't tell. You can't feel it. You can't see it. It doesn't really even... it doesn't matter to you.
Joke's on you. Joke is on you. Sitting here in your little third dimension bullshit.
Are there people who can conceptualize a fourth dimension?
Are there special like...
No.
I wish.
Our brains aren't capable.
Well, we can understand...
It's like someone's dragging a chair, drilling something.
I think someone is drilling up under the floor, up into our podcast studio. So don't do that.
Yeah, we can understand.
Hot potato!
Ah!
Don't ever fucking do that again, dude.
How are you seeing how your reflexes were?
Not good.
Did your doctor check your reflexes?
Do the little boop.
Maybe that's what the hug was.
Maybe the hug was like,
all right, is it gonna block the hug?
Maybe it was after his checkup with your testosterone he's just like poor girl I really feel
for him like to have levels this low it's just he needs a hug maybe he was
hoping that some of his would secrete on to and you would absorb his
testosterone no I know what it was it was This was the checkup after like three testosterone shots
or something, and he just wanted to see if it's working.
So another man, if it was working,
another man hugging me, that would just,
I would go, oh hell no.
And I would push him off of me.
So he knows, and he's like, oh my god,
we're still at like level two or three.
He's going, it's not working, we gotta up this.
Because if it was working, I would have
fucking decked him in the jaw
Until you're like whoa man. I don't I don't swing like that
But but it just becomes more normal so every time I go I start getting excited for the hugs
I'm like it's so nice on my doctor hugs me. Oh, you have to call your doctor Nancy
Call them what Nancy just. Just Nancy? Yeah.
So Nancy.
Uh.
Uh.
See the thing about that is,
it's not even like, I'm not recording it,
so it's not like there's a payoff,
it's just an uncomfortable situation for me.
And for him probably.
And then my relationship with my doctor
is just now lowered.
All right.
It's like why, he knows that, you know his names of course.
Why would, even if I didn't get his name right,
why would I call him like Nancy or like Dr. Nancy?
Just Nancy.
So Nancy.
50.
Man, who's named Nancy these days?
Not enough cool guys
Hey, if you're Nancy if you're Nancy out there if you're Nancy boy good on you if you're Nancy or a Nancy boy
We support you not enough men named Nancy these days. You know isn't there a song about that mm-hmm
Where it's like this never heard it
It's a song about this guy, and I think his name is Nancy or some other some other name similar to Nancy
And it's like his dad named him that and he always gets beat up and bullied and okay now
It's like a yes, but it's like to teach him a lesson that he's like the strongest you know no
But it's not Nancy hold on Susan the boy named Susan
Yeah, it's a country song and it's like
The Boy Named Susan or The Boy Named Nancy
But
Wait what are the odds for the doctor thing
Real quick let's do that, 50
The Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash
There it is, The Boy Named Sue
By Johnny Cash? Gotta give the man credit, he doesn't get enough credit these days
By Nancy Cash
Alright, out of 50
3, 2, 1
18
I'm glad I would not have
I don't know if I would
What? Even if you lost?
Well I wouldn't lie about it
I wouldn't come in and say I did it when I didn't
I would just be honest and be like I can't do that
dude, I can't call my doctor is very nice to me
Okay how about this?
This was probably on the same awkward scale. Mm-hmm
But you don't have to insult him in any way or it doesn't come across an insult
Yeah, as long as it's as I have the plausible deniability of innocence
You need to ask him if you can listen to his heart
Just after he checks like hey could I um mind if I give it a go?
He'd probably say yes, you know I guarantee just and then it's you just
But he probably would think I want to listen to my own heart
So he'd give it to me and be like here go give it a listen him and I would go
Deep breaths Deep breath in we're not doing this sir
That no he gave you the hug
He's gonna be receptive to this shit if I that's the craziest part is if I did that
And I put it up against his chest and I asked him to do deep breaths, he would.
I guarantee he's a really nice guy
and he wouldn't wanna be confrontative
or make me feel awkward so he would go,
hear it, yeah, that's what it sounds like.
All right, he'd probably try to get it back for me
relatively quick but he would still do it.
And then you have to ask if you could try some gloves on.
Can I try some gloves on can I
try some of those on what are those I think a latex gloves those things are
the what yeah what do you call those what are those second hands what like
what when he puts them them on I'm like what and then we take some off I'm like
whoa whoa you're like a, you're shedding your skin.
What just happened?
How would he react if I legitimately,
oh, looks like we've got a little more to diagnose
than I thought, you know, maybe we should check you up
in a different type of doctor.
He doesn't work with the brain, he works with your body.
Exactly, so he might be like like I'm gonna refer you to uh
To another type of doctor don't worry Glenn Powell knows
Goes to him. He's a nice guy. What if I
Know of the same kind of vein is that?
There what else could I could I do there's the popsicle sticks. There's the cotton balls. There's q-tips. They usually have
Could I do, there's the popsicle sticks, there's the cotton balls, there's Q-tips, they usually have.
You have to go to the pediatrician's side
and just like, can I have one of those lollipops?
They ask for a lollipop.
No, no, you ask the doctor in the room,
do y'all give out lollipops at the end of this?
Do y'all still do that?
Well, we've never done that, sir.
Add an adult doctor.
Like, could I get the lollipop now no
you sit there and wait after you bait or whatever you just send there is like sir
I'm just waiting for the lollipop you got to say sucker say sucker is more of
like a true I'm just waiting for the sucker what dum-dums come on am I going
crazy here I used to get one after every doctor's visit. It made me feel nice and sweet at the end. Especially after this. And you show like the pricked finger.
Oh yeah, and she go, you know what? I feel for you.
That's one of the first curse words I learned by the way.
Prick? Really?
Because my doctor pricked my finger and then like one of my older cousins at the time, I think she like laughed or something like that. I was like what?
Those older cousins man. They're always teaching you those actually my younger cousin taught me swear words my female younger cousin who was like
Nine years younger than me was she taught me winch
And whore yeah
when she was like seven
so She had two older brothers that would call her a wench and a whore yeah when she was like seven so she had two older brothers that would
call her a wench and a whore two older brother a cousin for us was one of them
so when God cousin for us I haven't heard that name in so long yeah not
really you talked about him earlier today something about what was it about
well I miss him man I mean he was runescape but I mean I don't know you shot by the police in Miami and it just I think about it a lot and I miss him man. It was RuneScape but I mean I don't know you
were shot by the police in Miami and it just I think about it a lot and I miss
him so of course I'm gonna talk about him. RIP cousin Forrest. He meant a lot to me.
He meant a lot to a lot of people. Started my YouTube channel career with him for
Matt 24 for Forrest Matt Matthew. How's he doing these days? He's dead he got shot by the
police in Miami.
You know that, and I think you're just trying
to get a rise out of me.
And why would I try to do that?
You're one of my best friends, one of.
Well, I would hope so, but how you're acting right now,
especially the way you're talking about cousin Forrest
doesn't really.
Dude, I would never talk bad about cousin Forrest
knowing that you're one of my best friends.
One of?
Yeah, you're like a best friend.
I'm just?
I'm like a best friend?
You're like one of my best friends.
I'm like one of your best friends.
Similar to them, yeah.
Similar, so I'm not a best friend.
No, my best friend is my mom.
Do you think they're, no, I can't joke.
Yes, there are adults whose best friend is there
That's fine. That's fine. We find that's that's beautiful. I think it is
I think my mom wishes that she was my best friend 100 and she's she's actually listening to this in it her heart is breaking
Or it's beating out of her chest going. Oh my god. Is he about to actually say that it's true friend
She's actively trying to make that a reality
And it's very sweet funny cuz like when you're a kid your parents really are like your best friends
And you want them to always be your best friend. Mm-hmm
It's like when I'm when I'm when I'm 40 like my mom's gonna be my best friend and some people you know
That is a reality and you know what if you're happy
Then God bless, you know keep it in the family, baby. Exactly, I think more people should keep it in the family.
You know?
Why dilly dally around with other people's jeans
when you have perfectly good jeans right here?
Are you not proud of your jeans?
Exactly, why mix them up with some completely random
set of jeans?
Why not take the jeans that you already have within your you know family unit? It's in the Bible
It's more the Bible says that you should you should have sex with your mothers and aunts and sisters
And yes brothers and uncles and all you should all be
Intermingling together and supporting each other the Bible says you should have sex with your uncle
You know nephew The Bible says you should have sex with your uncles. You know nephew, the Bible says. Really? Yep. Have sex with thine uncle. Leviticus 39 12 says, for thou to be allowed into thine kingdom of heaven you
must have sex with your uncle you must have sex with your uncle it's just
what's got to happen if you want to enter the kingdom of the Lord they're
pretty clear about that it's verbatim you know okay if that if for real if the
Bible was exactly the same if the Bible was the exact same as it is right now, except...
There are people who don't have uncles though.
Then they're going to hell.
Damn.
Think about this.
If the Bible was the exact same as it is right now, everything, except in one book, there is just one scripture, one passage that says that, you know, to enter the kingdom of heaven, you have to have sex with your uncle.
What would be different?
Would we all just ignore that?
Would Christians just go, oh, you know, Old Testament stuff?
They already forget the shellfish thing.
Exactly.
And the Sheldon thing that predicted the Big Bang Theory,
like almost exactly, but.
But that, I mean, that was part of the Old Testament,
so maybe they're like, eh, weee.
The Old Testament God is, you know,
different from New Testament God. Old Testament so maybe they're like the Old Testament God is you know different from New Testament
God Old Testament God was was
Angry and in in bitter making fathers cut off their sons penis tips
The computers made some sound right when you said that that's the Lord speaking to us going yeah
I keep making fun of you guys and the podcaster
I will smite you he says or some reason cut the tip of your penis off or cut the which I don't I don't
Want the tip of my penis to be cut off. You know what's crazy to think about what it has been cut off technically
Yeah, so it's yours
Well, it's crazy to think that you and I are literally missing part of our penises because of some dude with schizophrenia like 3,000 years ago
And now in in 2024 you and I are missing some skin off of both of our penises. Can we get some surgery to...
Maybe there's people who die when they give their organs up or whatever, like you're an
organ donor.
They cut off their foreskins and they can give them to someone else that I'd use.
It's a long wait list.
The penis transplant wait list, I mean the the foreskin transplant wait list
It's it's longer than like kidneys, but you don't need to do any blood type shit for it. Oh, yeah
It's one of the most complex
procedures in medical, you know history
sex apparently is
Better with with a foreskin. I wouldn't know cuz I've never had a foreskin
Well, I did have one at one point we both did and then uh, you know some some wise-ass doctors when he doesn't need this
Ripped it straight off
It's like a piece of it's like opening like a bag of
Skittles of skittles. Yeah, just sour skittles sour sure sour skittles
Sour skittle gummies, which by the way, do you notice that they change the packaging of like M&Ms and stuff?
It's like paper now. Do you notice that there's always been different forms of the
Because there have been like peanut M&Ms have that like more paperish. Okay, it was peanut M&Ms
I bought a bag the other day and I was like, why does this feel like it's made out of like craft?
I just been standing there. He's sitting there for a while. I
Swear they used to be like a shiny glossy like plastic some shiny glossy. I think it's just
Sometimes they're different the gas station M&Ms. They'd be hitting different
It was from a gas station
Yeah
That I that I bought these peanut M&Ms from I procured them from some fucking minis and you'll make a you'll make a grown man
Cry with a smile on his face. Yeah tears of joy. Those little M&M minis. I used to
get those with my uh, I specifically remember going to see Spy Kids 3D Game Over and I got
the box that has like the little thing with the popcorn, the place for the drink and then
the candy and I got the M&M minis along with the little bit of popcorn. Remember the cardboard
boxes that would come with all that? Of course, but I more so remember the sound of opening up the M&M.
Oh, yeah.
Then you close it back up.
Oh, God.
I actually, uh-
Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh.
Oh my gosh.
Shake those suckers around.
I'm a five-year-old.
That's just-
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee.
You know?
No, and you had the candy
But um you know
This is why people listen to us because they they love I don't know at this point they want it sometimes I really don't understand
Yeah, because it's like it's because we're so awesome. Yeah, that's what it is and cool
This is great podcast in they you know they make this they talk about
having sex
with their uncles, and then they make the sound
of Minnie and the Nims being shaken around
inside of the container.
And also when you pop it open, which I remember that
when that happened, and I liked it too.
And then they did impressions of a viewer
relaying this exact information to someone
who was unfamiliar with the show.
It's great.
It's my favorite podcast.
This is podcast-ception. Called the Silly Bros. The Silly Bros. The Silly Siblings.
But uh, we we of course. We we. First you said doodoo earlier in the episode, now you said we we.
Matt Watson's always gonna catch that. Hey, it's never slipping past me, brother. It's also French, too.
It is. We we. But thank you everyone for watching. It's hopefully you've you've finished your homework you've
finished that some project hopefully you've
Done your taxes whatever the task was that you used us
To keep you motivated and and non and not bored right?
We're just a lesson. I hope you completed it and it was a success.
We're just a vessel for you guys to make it through the day with whatever tasks, whether
that's going to sleep, whether that's doing homework or studying, which I don't understand
how people listen to us and study unless you're really smart because that's like two different
tracks completely.
I think, right, like, don't, can't,
can't women multitask, like, better than men
or something like that?
Like, men are good at focusing on one thing at a time
and women are better at multitasking.
Hey, well, Ryan, boobs are proof that men can focus
on two things at the same time.
Amen, brother, good night!
Good night! can focus on two things at the same time. Amen brother, goodnight!