supermegashow - Prayer Doctor | supermegashow - 007

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Ryan heals Little Matthew's ailments through the power of Christ. Follow Matt: @matthwatson Follow Ryan: @elirymagee Follow the show: @supermegashow To watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/supermegashowYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/supermegashowpod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/supermegashowpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I forgot the monologue I was supposed to do to open the podcast. I'm sorry. I remember texting you about it last night, making sure you had it memorized. I did, I do, I did have it memorized. I do, 100%. You said you, and I quote, hold on, let me get your exact words. I did have it memorized.

Your exact words. I 100% have memorized this. It is so important to me and I'm so excited to show you and the audience how great this monologue is that I've been whipping up for some time. Don't worry, man, you can trust me 100%. You really are a real, I can't say that next part, but yeah.

You're a real friend. I can't say that next part, but Yeah I'll you are you're a real friend. I'll I guess put a just look don't fire Luke cut it before he reads the last part and dude. I did have it memorized I just blanked out cuz I was nervous I'm sitting next to my best friend and I get so so freaking nervous when I'm around you cuz you're so cool And just when the cameras are dude everything's different when the cameras are on it gets me nervous and crap So if I remember like give me one more chance, okay, okay? Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls welcome to super mega show

super mega show it's a 10-minute monologue and that's you you got the first 10 seconds of it how about this you you do work on the monologue and will be honest with you. I don't think honestly, I looked over the script you wrote. I don't think one, it's appropriate, or two, it's something that the audience would want to listen to for the first 10 minutes of a podcast. Why? Why didn't you tell me this sooner?

And like, I disagree. I just think now it's almost like God is blessing this podcast by making you forget it because maybe it's the best thing that it wasn't said. It would have been described as like a diatribe I think. Yeah, but it's, you know, the podcast is 50% mine, and this is something I worked really hard on, and you know, you didn't. Well then, if it's something you worked really hard on, and you really wanna do it, then maybe you'd think about,

I don't know, memorizing the monologue. I did memorize it. Well, I mean, we're, we're, we're, the beginning of this podcast can't be us arguing about whether you can do your monologue or not because I mean the fact is you can't because you didn't memorize it. No, I literally looked it in the mirror last night

and for like two hours I just read it to myself straight from my memory so it's in there. Apparently not. Okay, well maybe I can do it like next week or the week after, episode eight or nine. This is gonna be another one of those like, what about the petroleum petroleum jelly story What the hell you're telling me this whole time? It was a big joke. I forgot about the petroleum jelly story

Okay, little little little context here on super mega cast Like I I was like in on the next episode Ryan will tell the story about his mom and some petroleum jelly So Ryan will tell the story about his mom and some petroleum jelly. It was like stepdad Jim. Yeah, it was something with petroleum jelly that I was just like, he'll tell it on the next one. So get excited. But I was just making that up right then,

like that very second to set up maybe like a future joke. And then I made some bullshit story up in like the next podcast. No, way later on episode 100. Well, on episode 100 people I made up some Bullshit story that was obviously a bullshit story. Yeah, and it might have been even like the joke was that the story was Unentertaining it was interesting. I think it was like your mom put on some petroleum Because people like it became a meme where people kept talking about I can't wait to hear the petroleum jelly story

So like 30 episodes go by and finally we're like, episode 100, we'll tell the petroleum jelly story and you tell this boring thing. And dude, some people were actually legitimately pissed off. I saw long comments where it's like, are you fucking serious? You string us along like that and there's not even a real, like it's not real?

So. Well, I guess, too bad for you. And also you will not, yeah, oh, you'll definitely be getting a 10 minute monologue in the next podcast. Oh yeah, and who knows, maybe on episode 100 of SuperMegaShow

you might hear the real petroleum jelly story. That is true. Who knows? Maybe you guys have earned it now. You know, I had to shy away and use a fake one because the real one is just too Outlandish really to leave and also too embarrassing for my family that I that I you know out of respect I chose not to say it now at the new episode 100 I will 100% tell the real no bullshit petroleum jelly story

And like I think if you did tell it on the podcast the real one I think that that clip would go so viral because it's such a crazy story And you know we want to save it for for a really monumentous occasion so But uh to get the all the normies interested in this episode. Why don't you say we talk about something? Popular skibbity toilet no no we've already done this. I think we talk about something popular? Skibbity Toilet. No, no, we've already done this. I think we've run our course with Skibbity Toilet.

We still don't really exactly know what it is. It's a meme, we know that much. We know that it involves a toilet whose name appears to be Skibbity. I think so. We just lost all our Gen Z. They don't even know what Skibbity Toilet is? This is embarrassing. I'm gonna go watch Joe Rogan.

At least he knows what Skibbity Toilet is. Cut to Joe Rogan's podcast. Yo, Jamie, pull this up. I was talking about this the other week. The Skibbity Toilet thing, it's the most hilarious thing. I had to actually put it in my comedy special. Have you seen this? This is crazy.

It's a head in the toilet. Jamie, seriously, look it up. Look it up. Pull that up, Jamie. Yeah, look at that skibbity toilet. Actually I'm not finding any sources for any articles about skibbity toilet whoa whoa whoa that's bullshit Jamie come on come on you go to tick tock go to tick tock look up hashtag skibbity toilet. I would fucking love for Joe Rogan to be going through skibbity toilet TikToks on his podcast. Well he saw your boxing match. He did, he did. And he thought he- And believed that you were actually

a son fighting his father. Until Jamie, thankfully, came out and told the truth. Yeah, he was, Rogan was saddened by the video clip of me and the boxing ring. He was actually like saddened. He had a lot of sympathy for you until the moment he learned that you were not father and son. He's like oh this is what this guy shouldn't even stepped into he got what he deserved I mean granted you probably shouldn't have stepped in the ring. Hey, man. It's called balls. It's called

balls and Heart yeah, which if you flip a heart upside down looks like a pair of balls does that's it That's a really good connection. It was just like a big freaking pair of test or a big thick ass, you know Mmm, I've heard that the heart is shaped aphid like it was designed to be like a woman bending over But I feel like that's just that's like an old you know BS tail hear that from your dad. Yeah Dale drew it on a son like on a Valentine's Day when you're in middle school making like a Valentine's Day card for like your crush. Son, you know an interesting fact, you know all I gotta say is your mom's like bending

down to put something in the oven. Look at that, that right there is what a heart's based on. That was when I had my first erection. Did you get your mom bending over putting something in the oven? Yes. You have no shame my man. What the hell dude? Why are you just roasting me like this? I'm not roasting, it's not roasting. I think having no shame is you could be considered a compliment unless you want to get in a pickle with me but I know you don't want to get in a pickle with me, especially a verbal pickle.

No, I don't want to get in any freaking pickle with you. You better not buster. I was actually about to tell the story of uh, when I was direction you know, not my first direction, but you remember the first direction you ever had? No, but I remember being very young and I was in Colorado with my family and I didn't know what boners were. And but I, dude the word boner is so good. That's like what a middle schooler calls their erection. I didn't know what, I got a boner. It just kept happening and I remember asking my mom and I was like, well okay so I would get them

when I was angry. So like when I was frustrated that was when I would get boners. What? I don't know. But like it wasn't, I wasn't like turned on. Why was when I would get boners What I don't know, but like it wasn't it wasn't I wasn't like turn on calling it That's what it is, dude. Okay, but I remember asking my mom was like mom Why does it sometimes go like and I did this and she wouldn't even tell me she's like that's something

You'll have to ask your dad. I'm like you could have just told me mom You could have explained what an erection is cuz I know you know what it is And she could have I had I had a bit of a Awakening myself except it was at a Gold's gym. I was doing the I think I've said this before yeah I was like doing that machine where your legs are dangling down you have to like lift them both up like this and you're Holding on to like the bars. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah And I just remember the the tip of my Johnson was rubbing up against my gym shorts And I just I didn't know like what the fuck was going on. I was

Like I don't know. I can't remember how young I was. I was probably 17, 18 having my first boner But anyways, I was at Gold's Gym young. Thank God, you know, I was I was doing my exercise and I was like Why does it feel kind of good? And I remember sometimes I would just do the exercise, I never climaxed and I never finished and I didn't even know what I was doing. I just remember going, this kinda feels good. You know, it doesn't feel bad. Maybe I'll keep going.

I'm just imagining you there just like, with a huge boner and it's so visible through your gym shorts and everyone in the gym can see it. He's working out I guess. I really fucking hate the gym. I like going to it later today. Are you serious? I am and I went Sunday as well. I'm trying to get back to the gym a little more. No way. I've been a unhealthy piece of shit for pretty much, I mean I've had an excuse because of my back of course and the injury that came with that after the boxing stuff but after the boxing stuff I definitely took a downhill turn and just started, I became very bitter and sad about not being able to go out

because you remember me like I'd try to make it out to social gatherings and if I did I'd stay for like 20 minutes and be like, hey I gotta go home, my back hurts too much. I know dude, I feel so bad for you because it's like such a fucking pain, no pun intended, in the back for you. Because-

It's kind of a pain in the ass, it kind of goes down there a little bit. Just sucks dude, any chronic condition that involves pain? I I don't envy it It just makes me realize like man. I went on a hike with Tucker. It was like a simple Yeah, like two-hour hike, but at the end of it my hips were so tight just because like they're not used to that much Right I was like waddling like I shit my pants afterwards but thankfully Tucker broke a branch and made me a walking stick.

Nice, did he take you to his treasure? Which treasure? The one that he. Are we, wait, how about this? The living treasure or the more monetary based treasure? The monetary one, he won't show me the living one. Have you seen it? No, I haven't yeah, so yeah, I've heard whispers in the friend group, but yeah, apparently Luke was Was cool enough to see you saw it. Well, he got to spend time with it. Apparently what yeah, I don't know

Wow, okay. Well anyway, I'm proud of you for going back to the gym. I've been doing my daily 20 push-ups lately. That's what I'm talking about. And you know what's great? My diet's still shit. So even though I'm going to the gym, unless I change my diet, nothing's going to change. So it's just a big waste? No, it's not a waste. You're gaining muscle mass. It's just that I need to actually, for my back to feel better on a day to day, I do need to be losing weight,

because I've explained this before. Right. The weight of my stomach pulling forward, that's why pregnant women have so many back issues. Right. The weight of their stomach is pulling on their lower back. And they go, oh my baby. Oh my back, oh lord, I'm having to stabilize my my coccyx

It actually sounds like having being pregnant like fully pregnant right before giving birth level pregnant seems awful Having that much weight just stuck to you actually was the sacrifice women everywhere moms everywhere I get mothers Everywhere have uh have experienced. Hey, let's say it at the same time. Thank you women. Three, two, one. Thank you women. But. For having wombs. Thank you.

Remember when we used to do our daily 20 pushups at the office, at the Plex back in the day, we'd do little things where it's like, oh dude, what's in my pocket? Oh, it's 20 pushups, and then you would have to do 20 pushups right then. We should bring that back. Can you do pushups with your back? We should bring it back.

And I also need to get better core strength. Hey, the goal would be to lose weight, gain muscle, and have a rip in six pack. That would be sick. That's when I'd be my healthiest. See, I really wanna get some abs because when I gained. You essentially already have the... No, I don't.

You're halfway there. No. Oh my God, I forgot you have a tummy now. Exactly. You have a little... Dude. When I gained... What is this?

Look at that, dude. Look at that. That's thick, dude. Right. That's the thing is when I gained all that weight... Proud of you for that. When I gained all that weight, a lot of it went to my tummy. When you were on estrogen.

Magestural. It was progesterone. When I gained all that weight, a lot of it went to my tummy. When you were on estrogen. Magestural. It was progesterone. It was an artificial version of progesterone, not estrogen. But it made me get a tummy, and now I have a fucking tummy. And little titties. And little titties, but I want to turn that into muscle because before I gained the weight,

it was pretty easy for me to get abs because there was nothing there. They'd show up pretty quick. Now I actually have to work to get rid of this. And push-ups are a lot harder now, because I have an extra 30, 35 pounds. I'm like 170 now. Hey, core strength is the key to living a happy life.

It's much harder to do push-ups than it used to be, because I guess I got all that extra weight. I noticed that, because when I first started doing the push-ups the other day, I was like, holy shit, it used to not be this hard to do push-ups. I mean, you added 30 pounds to the weight that you're around 30, right? 30, 35. I started at 133 and now I'm bouncing between like 166 and 170.

But you're still like in the 160s, I'd say average like in the 160s. Yeah, my average is upper 160s. You haven't gone back down to like 150 or 140. A healthy weight for you is what, 175? No, no, no, no, I'm past the healthy weight now. What is a healthy weight? 150, I think. Okay, okay. So I'm doing good.

And I stopped taking the Magestral like two weeks ago. Because of the testosterone? Well, they said it could have been also lowering my testosterone. I stopped taking the Magestral like two weeks ago. Because of the testosterone? Well, they said it could have been also lowering my testosterone, I don't need that. But, you know, now I've just been dealing with, so I had basically no testosterone and a bunch of a girl chemical in my body, and then that goes whoo,

and then I get this boy chemical going whoo, so it's had me all on the verge of tears for a week Not now now. I know what women go through when they're on their periods Thank you women except for the cramps and the bleeding out of your genitals now There's been a little bleeding out of my genitals Imagine that bleeds having to bleed out of your genitals every month every month. It's just normal I could understand why like Someone's first period is an alarming, terrifying experience.

Especially if your parents didn't tell you about it. Almost borderline traumatic. Imagine pulling down your pants one day and you're bleeding out of your penis and you have blood all over your thighs and shit. And you're in pain and you're emotional. I'm guessing that's what happens when you're on a period. Yeah, 100%. I actually, for you're on a period. Yeah 100% I I

Actually for real like getting a period every fucking month sounds miserable I don't know how you women do it so so thank you women for for putting up with periods. That's very Noble strong it is noble us dudes. Just you know we don't have to deal with anything like that nope Let me have this bump right there. We just have to uh Chill Chillin uh until this the seed is ready to be spilled. That's right. Yeah. Yeah chillin a squirt a little rope so I Love the term rope for semen. Yeah, why?

It's just funny But thank you women, and I just gotta say it again Yeah. Why? It's just funny. It's just funny. Thank you women. I just gotta say it again. Ladies, y'all really be... Y'all really be having periods. Yeah, women be having periods. I think this is almost like the quintessential

I know I'm listening to an immature two boys podcast when they start talking about periods. And it's like, whoa whoa, dude aren't periods crazy Women have those every month What are we like in our fucking late 20s? damn Periods are something else. I imagine having a period couldn't be me imagine bleeding out of your penis. Well, seriously imagine Oh, I didn't have to imagine on September 11th last year. I was bleeding out of your penis? Well seriously, imagine. Oh, I didn't have to imagine. On September 11th last year,

I was bleeding out of my penis quite bad. No, true, you had a urinary tract infection. One that had gone to my kidneys. Yep. And did I, because- Too much brothel time for math. It's good, come on. You've learned since-

Stop, stop. It was the one Hassan showed you. I was there with Hassan. Yeah. And you know, I got a little, I didn't, I thought I was wearing with a song. Yeah, and you know I got a little I Didn't I thought I was wearing it nevermind um but I don't know if I talked about this since we've been back because this happened While we were on a little hiatus my my my UTI saga Fuck it was bad. I've never had a UTI before have you you've never had a urinary tract infection

Holy shit. Thank God dude Dude, it was like... What was it from? I don't know. Usually it can be from... actually, I think I do know what it was from. Sitting down to pee, I think sometimes doesn't get all of the pee pee out. Almost like it gets like 99% of the pee pee, but there's still a little bit left. That's how you get a UTI really bad. Is sitting down to pee? No no no but having just a little bit of pee pee left over in the system when you pee.

I never have a little pee pee left over. Well I guess just the way I was sitting. I jangle and jangle my dongle until all the drippy drops are out baby. I push upon my perineum and it allows the rest of it. And you just go mmhmm yep and I think that's what caused it or maybe it was just an infection I don't know but you know, I didn't realize I had a UTI But I noticed it was getting a little more difficult to to urinate and I was like, why is it getting hard? Became painful and then I and then I had to pee a lot more and then one morning

I actually was going to uh, it was September 11th and I was a morning like any other It was and I was going to Disneyland that day and I woke up at about 7 a.m. In Extreme pain. Did you not get to go to Disneyland? Unfortunately, not I spent the day in the hospital. Sorry. That's awful. I know. You could have been with Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Minnie, Peter Pan. Yeah, well that's who I was most excited to see. Bella, Gaston, Gaston. But I went to the bathroom, I was like, ow.

I just had this sharp pain in my lower abdomen and I was like not feeling very good. So I went to go pee and fuck it burned I was like, holy ow It felt like razor blades and then at the very end of my of my pee pee It just turned into blood and I'm not talking like a little bit of blood in my ear And I'm talking like nothing but blood. It was just love that channel. He's great It was just dripping like there was literally instantly just blood dripping out of my sounds like my colon issue

It looks like God gave us you know the the a different side of a coin You got to bleed out of your penis, and I got to bleed out of my ass. Yes exactly You know there were some times where I was shit, and it was just blood that was collected I guess in my colon that was just empty. Oh just like Just a stream of blood then I looked down it was Yep, that's when when the when the when the blood would drop into the toilet does that it does look cool It goes you know it spreads anyway. I was like oh fuck. I need to go to the emergency room I've never peed blood before and that is not ever good, so be life-threatening

I know I went downstairs to get a glass of water is not ever good. So- That'd be life threatening. I know, I went downstairs to get a glass of water and I was about to go, I was going to put some clothes on to go to the ER and I'm walking back up the stairs and first time in my life I just pass out on the stairs and I come to-

That's not good. I know. You could have hit your noggin. I know and I came to and my glass of water had rolled down, it was spilled everywhere all over the stairs and I was was like kinda laying on the stairs, and I was like, okay, I need to go to the hospital right now, and I went, and they made me do a little

pee test, a little sample of my pee pee. Woo! Just a little pee test? Yeah. Not a big pee test. A lot of blood in that bad boy. But yes, it was a UTI and I got antibiotics, and it was good, and then 10 days later,

it came back and the same thing happened again, and I spent the day in the ER again, but since then Got better antibiotics and Ryan I take cranberry extract every single day That it is a smooth urinary system now kind of pisses me off though that you're giving all this All this medicine and the doctors the credit when you know full well I was praying for you every day and I think that had more of Effect on on your healing than this Stupid fucking medicine or these dumb dumbass doctors that only went to school to learn about oh the hearts red

Oh the inside of the livers pink. I don't know you know like like who cares no, dude the minute like this this is a fight like an infection in my body And antibiotics are the only thing that treat it so one would say that God the one who created man would best know the inner workings of creating a miracle inside someone's body Thus creating a pregnancy like with Jesus, and so I'm just saying that the likelihood of God fixing your your bloody piss seems to be more likely than any doctor or medicine okay and the proof is in the pudding in fact the proof is in the Bible the proof is in the which is the most delicious pudding of all listen I I'm not going to rule it out okay I'm not gonna say that your prayers didn't

help heal my UTI a little gratitude would be nice I'm not gonna say that Your prayers didn't help heal my UTI. Just a little gratitude would be nice I'm just saying to me and the big man more likely it was the medication. The big man big God. Oh Yeah, I think it was the medication, but I won't rule it out your prayers that you said for me could have could have Influenced the healing process You just don't have faith. I do have faith. You don't have faith in your friend Ryan or his prayers. I have plenty of faith in you.

Every time something bad happens in the world, I put out my thoughts and prayers and I know God is working his magic to heal those problems. Like say a five year old accidentally stumbles off the roof of like a tall apartment building and splatters on the ground below. When I hear that news, I'm praying. And there is a chance that his parents will get through it because of that prayer. Yeah, could be, I mean God might bring the child back to life. My thoughts.

He might unsplatter that kid and it's all because of your prayers I know faith is a big thing and the the the whole like God doesn't do miracles anymore Yeah, he used he doesn't do miracles anymore because he's testing your faith Like what would be the point of him proving himself to you? You know the faith is the big part, but in my head I'm just like, you know, I'm not talking about like anything big, I'm just saying do something cool, maybe one time that's very apparent that it's you, I

don't know, maybe make the moon have a face and talk to us. Hi Ryan! Yeah, dude, I'm God! You know, I'd believe in God. If the moon grew a face and started talking to me, declaring that it was God Almighty Himself, I would 100% believe that. Yeah, you know, I actually think God has been showing me

signs of his existence because it's kind of similar, but basically every day when satellites fly right over my apartment, they basically beam images of like future disasters into my head so I think that that might be a sign of God God's will must be done and will be done it will be done on earth as it is in heaven amen give us the day or daily oh fuck this one no no we probably messed around it's fine no we said the ending of it on earth as it is in heaven on earth as it is in heaven

Is that the end of the Lord's Prayer? Let's start from the beginning just so we can figure this out our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name I will be my kingdom come I will be done on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and as for as in forgive us I was for our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever Amen and let's go to a commercial break now

now welcome back chode nevermind come on I don't want to call the audience chodes seriously we probably just lost our advertisers okay is this the first week with ads maybe except for Angie you know she's always there. Angie! Yeah, guys also I do see people online going nuts about Angie on our podcast. We don't choose those, the ads that are not done by us, we don't choose those and we don't put those in. Those are like just ads that get put on a lot of different shit.

It's not deals that we have that, you know, they're not like, the me undies and stuff. We have done reads for Angie in the past, I believe, but the Angie ads that you're hearing, as well as other ads that you might be hearing, they're not strictly our fault. We get a teensy, I think, little royalty when they play the Angie ad or whatever,

but it's like, a minor royalty of $2,000 per word Which is pretty you know could be bumped on the most youtubers. It's uh But yes guys we apologize for Angie. You know it's actually a in GI now. It's no longer Angie's list It's a in GI which is pretty cool, but Come on dude there you There you are. Hey man. Hey man But basically, uh, it's just part of our you know when you're under like a podcast network We're under a network that has much other podcasts too. So, you know everyone on the network they they they shovel the ads

Angie! Angie! They should get George Lopez to fucking read the Angie's ads They should, he was in Blue Beetle recently. A big blockbuster superhero movie by DC Comics. Oh, I didn't hear you say blue and I thought you were saying something like he played a beetle recently. No, he was in the Blue Beetle. The fuck is that? What? Is it a movie? Yeah, it's a superhero movie where a kid becomes the Blue Beetle. You know, not as cool as Spider-Man. The blue beetle, that sounds dumb as fuck.

His best role was still Mr. Electra. I think his best role was George Lopez from the George Lopez show. That was a pretty good role. You don't. Did he do anything other than the George, like, was there any other show he did before the George, or was the George Lopez show his first

Like foray into like a TV show I think I Mean he had to get his own TV show he had to have already had and he was a big comedian big Me in numbers. I mean I went to go see one of his show I can't believe you got here in LA in 2012 see him live. I did I did That's crazy, dude, I'm so jealous some of the jokes made fun of white people and Damn it. I think It was uncalled for what have we ever done? What what what has the white race ever done leave us alone already?

Let us be blessed be the name of the Lord blessed be the name blessed be the name of the Lord blessed be his glorious name great shit it is because honestly here I am to worship and here I am to bow down. Here I am. To say that. You're my God. Because we're all together lovely, all together worthy, all together wonderful. To me. Yep. And I'll never know how much it costs to see my sins upon that cross. I'll never know how much it cost to see my sins upon that cross we're just filling time folks yep episode 7 we don't know what to talk about anymore just kidding we're gonna talk about the Lord because there's

always you know stuff to talk about when it comes to the Lord like forgiveness if you have a friend who needs who needs some forgiveness I want you to close your eyes right now and say out loud and we'll say it at the same time I want you and I'll clean but I want you to say I forgive you out loud and I want you to picture their face you know. Okay ready? Three, two, one. I forgive you. See? Wasn't that nice? Isn't forgiveness cool? I feel a lot better now. It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Exactly. You know? I will say, it's a tough thing to do, but

when you're able to forgive someone who has wronged you, it does bring a sense of peace, you know? It's like, it's hard to do, like to actually get to the point where even if you're still very mad, saying like, okay, I forgive this person, but it brings a sense of peace, it lets go of some of the anger.

Because anger is dangerous. Because if there's too much of it, you could turn into the Incredible Hulk. That's very rare, but yeah. And then you'd be jumping around town, smashing cars, going, I, angry! And everyone, people would be terrified. Also think of the lawsuits that you'd wake up and there'd be so many lawsuits on. Like, physical assault, destruction of property. Trespassing, for sure.

Disturbing the peace. Disturbing the peace. Which is a federal crime. It's a felony. I think you would wake up the next morning after you're de-hulked, and I think that like You know the felonies would be a long list of stacked up felonies Yeah, lawsuits you got lawyers typing up lawsuits ready to fucking file and send Cindy even the mail These pants just aren't what's wrong comfortable. What pants are these money at least the Ryan McGee shorts. They are there's not comfortable

Really? I'd feel a lot better if I could... Yeah, they're a little uh, the cut of those is a little tight. We didn't get the chance to try them on. I mean the funny thing is it still looks like you're wearing pants. See, I'm a lot more comfortable in this. Hey, you know what's crazy? I'm wearing the exact same underwear. Really? Pretty much. Wait, what brand is that? Oh, Adidas. Adidas.

I'm not wearing Adidas. I'm wearing, I think it's Target brand, black boxer briefs. Yeah. I think it's Goodfella. Is that their brand? Sorry, hold. What? They're saying I have to put pants on.

They have to put the pants back on. It's our podcast. Let us do it how we want, okay? Apparently we... I don't remember signing that. That's a big contract. I didn't sign that either. I guess I gotta be uncomfortable.

Yeah, gotta be uncomfortable, you know. That's just how it is. But you know, that's part of growth, man, is being comfortable with uncomfortability. Which we experience every day as YouTubers. It's a hard job. I mean, streaming especially. Streaming's been fun. Yeah, dude, I've loved it. I've been streaming recently our next stream is probably gonna be more Mario

And I'm guessing I for the members only the San aquarium which people have been recommending well at this point that stream has aired and oh true been a been a memory gone But yes, I'm uh I've been loving streaming with you man. It's been fun It's something we've talked about pretty much since we started Stupid Mega, and it's like, you know, I'm glad we're actually, the Funny Brothers are doing something they said they would do.

And the streaming isn't still to like, the caliber I want it to be, because we've gone through and we've budgeted of like what we need and want for, because what we want the streams to end up being is yes, we'll have those streams, or one of us is gaming of course, or we're doing a co-op game on the same screen,

but we want to have an actual decent co-op streaming set up to where Matt has a computer, I have a computer, those are both like the sources that get put into another computer so you can easily switch from our perspectives live, whether you're playing Fortnite, Sea of Thieves, whatever, you know, Portal 2, RuneScape would be great. And that's kind of where it is, but unfortunately, believe it or not, it costs a lot of money to, we've already put a lot into this office, we're doing a lot with merch,

and of course there's a lot of talented people that we work with that also need payment for their wonderful skills and time. And it, unfortunately, it's gonna, I don't, I guess I'm saying this right now because I don't want people to be like, oh, in the next two weeks we're gonna get this awesome new livestream set up

where they're flipping back, it's gonna be a bit before that. It's something we wanna do. But that's kind of where I want the streams to be. We need to save money for a bit because the old bank account has been shedding some tears lately. It's surprisingly expensive to produce merch on your own and to basically set up a whole office and then also run a business.

Hey, spare no expense. I know. I mean, I thought that the... From Jurassic Park? Yeah, but also... Like John Ham from Jurassic Park? We did spare no expense. I forgot that, his actual name.

It's John Ham. We did spare no expense. And I thought that maybe the bust, the statue that you got made of the the way and brothers is that their names the way and brothers yeah that was there's there's multiple way and brothers but I did it of specifically I got a statue of one of them as a white chick and then the other one as the little man yes I'm chick holding the little man and I care

I'm not I'm not gonna lie. It's a fantastic statue Every time you you come into work. Don't you go? This is why I'm doing this shit. No, I Like it. I think it's funny and I think it was very well done But when you said hey, dude, can I try use company money just to get like, you know, like a little I thought I thought You were talking about like a cardboard Cutout of them why that would have been like cheap 30 bucks max We got to show people that we mean business when it comes to producing content and also decorating our office It's almost like if you have it. Why not flaunt it granted. We really

It was it was a deposit, and we didn't have the full pay and we still owe 50% The statue yeah, I've only we do 50% of it. Wait what because we didn't have enough But the other 50% I mean I kind of I also told them that we might want to get a third Wayans in there, but no no dude absolutely not dude. You can't just have two ways you found First of all when you got the statue made, like, you purposely sought out the most skilled statue crafter, sculptor, in the continental United States. You flew him out here, and you paid for his airfare and his hotel for what?

It took him three and a half weeks to make the statue? Are we not supposed to take care of the people that work hard every day to produce the things that make our lives better? Also, you paid for I sound like a fucking capitalist right no I know no no no I don't and Another thing you did hoarding all the riches you didn't let me know about any of this was was a surprise For you, what's the definition of a surprise? Something I don't know about until a certain point. And when you walked in the office, you were happy, you were laughing, you said it was funny. Yeah, I did. I said, this is crazy.

The moment the frown came in was when you touched the statue and realized that it was actually made of decent material. Which I thought would have gotten a bigger smile out of you, but no. The material, it wasn't just granite, it was granite that was specifically mined in like the Democratic Republic of Congo Talk about literally turning a frown upside down. I saw your frown It made me frown right as well and like I don't regret buying that statue in fact I'm excited that whenever guests come they get to admire it It's the highest you you you sought out the highest quality granite on the market And and you had it also flown in from Africa.

And it was heavy as fuck. From the land of my mother. Dude, I just think six figures for a fucking Wayans Brothers joke statue is, and I thought it was already paid off. I thought the number that I saw was the full amount and you're telling me that's only half seven figures Six figures was the half was the 50% mark Okay, well I will we should talk about this more off the podcast because I do have some choice choice words

more off the podcast because I do have some choice words. And you can't, just obviously no refunds because the guy already put the word in there. So you're allowed to hire a team of pygmy masseuses, but I can't get a Marlon Waynes and co-statue? The pygmy masseuses was for one afternoon, and if I remember correctly, the foot massage you got, you loved. Yeah, it's the same thing we're

So so when when I commit a sin, it's the worst thing in the world, but when you do so no yes I appreciate it at first, but then I didn't know that we weren't we weren't necessarily paying them. We were paying their supplier And and guess what I got a discount because of that We'll just let's just I think we're getting also do weeds of Company talks $63,000 for one afternoon with what how many was it 14 pygmy masseuses? I didn't count them There's a lot. They're all running around 100% Yeah, it's kind of hard to count them. They're all just kinda running around. It's like, ah, one, two, three, but you know.

Let me see what they're talking about right now. Skip ahead. It's like, you know, this period talk is pretty boring. Let me skip ahead. What the fuck are they talking about? But. I really have to believe that our podcast has to be somewhat of a fever dream for people.

I think it is, just because of the, I think our podcast is, it's different, Ryan. We put as much thought into our real conversations as our improv. And the only reason we do so much improv is because of Mark Applier. He's the one that bought us the classes, so sue him if you have a problem with our improv.

That's right, Mark's gonna actually receive a lawsuit, it's gonna be a knock at his door. He's gonna open his mansion door It's gonna be a lawyer. You've been served and he goes what? What I'm being sued and he looks at the paper and it's someone it's it's a random fan suing him for making us so funny He did a mark when we had first Like half a year after we moved out to California and you and I were working for lay markiplier He signed all three of us up for UCB improv classes and for those who don't know well, yeah, UCB is like Los Angeles like

Improv you know who came out of UCB? Pretty much every comedian ever. A lot of them. Yeah. Come on, you know the famous one that they always touted around? Wait, wait, is it Amy Schumer, Polar? Yes. Yeah.

Amy Schumer might've come out, no, Amy Schumer got, I thought, her big break from that Comedy Central, like, comedian contest show. Right? I don't know. Remember Comedy Central like comedian contest show right? I don't know. Remember Comedy Central had this show where it's like all these comedians were it was essentially American Idol for comedians. Yeah dude! Oh I forgot about that. I think she got her start on that show. Oh god oh god. What's going on? I'm resetting the animation on the- What the fuck are those other videos? Don't worry. Don't fucking- luckily the quality is not good enough to zoom in. But yeah UCB is a

trip. It's like most SNL people I think go through it. But Ryan and I with the guiding hand of Markiplier both completed the first course of UCB. We did a performance which was the final... I guess the the quote-unquote finals. Yeah, it's like a final exam and I remember a lot of dry laughter. Yes in like a dark black box room And dude I improv I'm gonna be honest doing improv on stage I mean not like this this type of improv where we're talking, but I'm gonna be honest, doing improv on stage, I mean not like this type of improv where we're talking, but I'm talking about like, create a scene, go! Like I hate that.

See I even- I like watching it, but- I go as far like even with our live shows, I'm the most comfortable when we're like doing the podcast, or doing sketch comedy, when we have a lot of control over what's going on, but like with live shows, and like let's say the live improv show we did and the reason why I could never fathom even doing stand up comedy is just cause I,

this isn't a judgment on those people that do it, this is just a judgment of me. I find it that I get too in my head and I feel too desperate when I'm, you know what I mean? Like you're very, cause you're desperate to get a laugh. You're needing to get a laugh, you have to get a laugh or else you're not doing the work or the job right. You're the guy that was not funny at the improv show.

You're the guy who said something, everyone shut up and allowed him to yes and, and then it got a lot of yikes, created an awkward silence, and then someone more talented at improv had to come and step in and save the scene. And then the laughter, that's where the laughter comes. I had one of those moments myself, in my show. I made a joke about bombing an orphanage,

and it was like shock value, and I thought that it was funny, and nobody, like it was just silent, I was like. See I think I had it worse, because in mine, I remember that it was funny and nobody like it was just silent I was like see I think I had it worse because in mine I I remember the the scene was going on and I wasn't participating and you have to participate in it so I finally built up the courage to participate in the scene and as soon as I got my line out the I guess the the teacher was like and done I remember that either that's like you know we ended on a high note or it's the teacher was just like, end gun. I was just like. I remember that. Either that's like, you know, we ended on a high note

or it's like, okay, we're stopping this. We're not going this direction. There's still 15 minutes left. He just sees you jumping. He's like, oh no, no, no. But my favorite part about doing the UCB improv comedy classes with you was not even doing them with you. Was you being in the first three weeks in my class

and then finding out that you had somehow actually been registered. I thought it was like the first day, like in the middle of class, like I wasn't on roll call. They allowed me in for a little bit. No, because you, yes, but they let you keep doing, because it's like, oh, you're signed up. So you did like three or four weeks.

A lot of this is a blur. You did like three or four weeks. And then remember, they're like, you need to, you can't be in this class anymore. You have to restart. So you had to take the same classes again. But we ended at the same time. Cause there were multiple classes going at the same time. So like, I was in another teacher's class,

which I enjoyed my improv teacher. He was really cool. And I actually, he got me to go see one of his shows. Well, he didn't get me. It was just like, I'm performing here. And I me to go see one of his shows. Well he didn't get me, it was just like, I'm performing here and I decided to go. Improv shows are sometimes, you know, I feel like I have to be drunk and with friends to enjoy it, cause I think my favorite

kind of display of improv was in the movie Ted. improv was in the movie Ted. Did you ever see the movie? Ted? Of course I saw the movie Ted, but what was improv? Where they're looking where the basically the assignment that they're giving people at this show is like, okay, audience suggestions, but Ted and Mark Wahlberg keep yelling out like, 9-11 and shit like that.

And I enjoyed that. I don't enjoy 9-11 or anything 9-11, it's not a joke. Well we do remember that one video of the guy interrupting an improv performance by having a meltdown about 9-11. I knew people who died in that shit! I forgot about that video. Everyone should go look that up. It's like, just look at like, improv 9-11 freakout. And it's this guy that just loses his shit during like,

like it actually like, looks like a fake performance art thing. And if it was, very well done, but it's real and then afterwards the guy stays after the class to like Dig on the teacher or somebody and he has like his friend film him doing it So I'm gonna be honest real quick. I just looked over to see how long we've been recording for and This might be one of the fastest feeling episodes ever. Oh shit, 50 minutes. We probably started recording more around five minutes in because the camera was already going. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But still. So we're at like 45, or maybe Luke cut out some of our funniest conversations. He likes to cut out how funny we are sometimes. It makes him feel self-conscious. Yeah, about how funny he, Luke's funny. Like no one's comparing us. Luke's funny. It looks fun a contest right?

He he tries to be made me laugh I Think like when he trips over something that's funny laugh because he's a big dude like Big boned so when he trips over something it's loud. Mm-hmm. That's not I bet Wasn't a comment on his weight. I'm just saying he He is naturally like, he's just a big hefty dude. I wanna stop this conversation real quick. What? To bring attention to the problems of the world.

Thank you, Ryan. Thank you. You have a... Like for instance, there's a specific cheese at Whole Foods that they're not, that they're always out of and it pisses me off. God damn it, what's cheese?

It's, Luke knows the exact name. I'm gonna go ask him the exact name. Okay, I'll be just chilling here with the Megheads. What's up guys? How's it, I'm looking at this camera, how's it going? I hope everyone's been having a wonderful day, wonderful week. Some of you, it might be the worst week of your life

for one reason or another, and if that's the case, I'm really sorry. But I hope that this silly, goofy podcast by the Funny Brothers can at least, you know, take your mind off of things, just for a little bit. You know, the Funny Brothers care, we're here for you, so if you had a family member die or anyways the real problems of the world it the cheese is cremant from Vermont creamery quit month you've seen

Vermont creamery treat cheese they come in the logs usually it's like softer cheese you oh it's coming like the plastic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, but uh this one is like a circle comes in like a plastic thing It's cremont and I've talked about it before I know but it is the best cheese I forgot to close the podcast door the door is open and it's shining a light straight from the outside into my eyes It's bright the Sun light there. It's bright, ah, the sunlight! There we go, nice dude. It's okay, you were so excited about cheese. From Vermont, Creamery.

It's a goat and cow hybrid, soft. It's so fucking delicious. Hey. Luke introduced it to me, it's one of the best cheeses I've ever had in my entire life. Really? Ever, top three cheeses I've ever had, 100 entire life. Really? Ever. Top three cheeses I've ever had, 100%. I was cleaning my fridge last night

and I found an unopened, one of those logs like that of goat cheese with like herbs and stuff. Did you have it all? No, I haven't opened it yet, I'm saving it. I made a mistake last night. Not a mistake, it's just I shouldn't be doing this when I'm trying to be healthier. Uh oh, did someone eat some cheese?

I was looking for a snack because I was a little hungry. I was feeling a little peckish yeah, and there was a whole like this this you know add the other half of my hand there, there's that much of like a Gouda I got don't tell me you ate that whole block of cheese I ate the whole thing with pepper jelly and crackers. Oh Okay, that's I had a bowl of cereal You know what dude? That's not that's not that bad. It's I full and crackers and afterwards I had a bowl of cereal. You know what dude, that's not that bad.

It's awful, it's bad. With crackers and pepper, it's so good. I did that recently, it's actually funny you say that because recently it was like 1 a.m. I went down into my kitchen by myself and I was hungry. I realized I had Gouda and I realized I had pepper jelly and I got out some crackers and for like 20 minutes I was just like in my underwear, hunched over my counter just like eating crackers with cheese and pepper jelly. It's so good

Pepper jelly crackers and cheese might be my that's the way to win Yes, Gouda is really good with pepper jelly, but I don't I you know what? I thought you were gonna say you were like eating the block like by taking bites out of it was like an apple smoked sriracha gouda too so that added with the pepper. It was so so many flowers. It was delicious speaking of apple I forgot I also while I you know It's almost like I made my own little charcuterie on the counter on the countertop because I also had an apple And I cut it into slices, and I ate that with the cheese and crackers and pepper jelly, but it made my lips itch I don't think I've ever had a fruit with cheese before. What? I know.

I thought on, when we used to do wine and cheese nights every now and then. I'd eat the apple separately, like as almost like how you eat ginger in between sushi. Oh, I wasn't putting it on the cracker. I was, you know, in between crackers, I would eat some apple, but. Well, it's like I'd have the cheese in the cracker and whatever

I'd eat that and then I'd have a little slice of apple. Yeah. Yeah It's a palette cuz a lot of people put the apple on the cracker. I do like doing that I like putting I like putting everything on the cracker. I like honey. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's good shit We gotta have this pepper jelly. Let's have a wine and cheese and I soon. Yeah, no not well I'll have grape juice, but I'm 100% down. I would love that you can task chew chew I Was I was mixing Luke and cheese so she didn't come up choose? But she was cut that out we can we can we can task Luke with providing a cheese a

surprise cheese Fuck dude talking about fucking fruit What's going on a surprise cheese. Fuck, dude. Talking about fucking fruit. I got that. What's going on? Where's he going? He's bolted out of the room. I hear the pitter patter of distant clamberings as he's rushing to go grab something. I don't know what it is.

But if it's cheese, I'll be happy. No, no. Oh, God. Looks like the antithesis of what I would find delicious. The antithesis is fucking raspberries, dude? Do you not like raspberry? I don't think I've ever had one. What? I don't think, no, I haven't. Dude. Should I try one?

Yes. I'll try one. It is my favorite. But if I don't like it, you can't be mad at me. Okay, so like, for audio listeners. I brought back a container of raspberry hold on I test them. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, are these good? Yeah, are they like candy? Oh, yeah love raspberries They just have like little hairs on them and these look like little like you can't pull you can't feel the air They got hairs and little pimples all over them. Don't analyze it, just enjoy the flavor. I've analyzed it too much.

Enjoy the flavor. It's gone through my head. Pop it in. Ryan's first raspberry. I love raspberries. What you think? Your face is looking like you don't enjoy it. I don't enjoy the texture.

You like the taste? But it's fine You know if I should have let these ripen maybe like two more days because they'd be a little sweeter, but uh You know I fucking raspberries are one of my favorites I can go through a whole fucking thing of raspberries at once these are good with shark you don't like it Can't fucking believe you don't like strawberries. You're not the taste. What were you saying? You know I love about these things You can just kind of tongue them just Yeah, that's like a butthole What are you doing?

I'm some of it's caught in my teeth. It does they have little seeds and stuff, but you did was it sour Did you get a sour one? Yeah, it was a little tart. Are they supposed to be a little tart? Yeah They're a little tart, but sometimes you get one that's just like Way more sour than sweet and it's... See, I don't mind berries when they're mushed up in a cobbler, you know? I hate seeing whole berries on a cake. What?! If you don't want to share a birthday cake with me, make sure that it has berries on it.

Are you fucking serious? I'm fucking serious! Berries on a cake are like one of the best things on a cake I just want icing and the cake dude all I want baby a bite of cake with a berry Like on top and you you you eat it all at once with the raspberry or the strawberry the blueberry It's so fucking good. It makes the cake like ten times better He's really going at these raspberries. Raspberries.

I haven't eaten today so. More like radberries. I made them Bradberry. That's a throwback to 2016. I hate the after, the after effects of eating a berry. What do you mean the after effects? All the seeds and stuff in your teeth. They're all little seeds.

You know what I bought recently a costco. I can tell that my my teeth aren't interlocking at the at the normal Something's stopping them What I bought recently a Costco was was guavas like little tiny guavas like a huge thing of them and Have you ever had a guava You know I haven't had most fruit. That's crazy, dude. Or vegetables probably. Amazing.

I'm very, you know, I'll have my asparagus, Brussels sprouts, I'll have a spinach. Which is funny, because those are considered like the ones that, you know, are like the grossest. Brussels sprouts are my favorite vegetable. They're so delicious. And with fruits, it's really like down to apples and bananas. I think pineapples are too mushy.

Apples and bananas, that's entry level bullshit. And those fruits are. Delicious, amazing. I love a good. Two of the worst fruits. What? Bananas are, just because bananas give you a little chestache doesn't mean that they're a bad fruit.

No, but just with the plethora of fruits that are out there, apples and bananas are boring and lame and just not there's so many different kinds of apples It's like that's true. There are good apples, but it's like delicious. It's like going no red delicious walking off Delicious those are the ones that are like like kind of taller and you get them at school They're red and they're not delicious. They are the ones you get at school? They're red. And? They're not delicious. Yes they are! Dude, the ones you would get at school, the red delicious? Juicy? No, they're not.

A lot of, get some of that apple juice in there. It's a nice fucking firm fruit. That's not all mushy and gross. I got some good ass apples at H Mart. They come in like a plastic container. No, there's really good apples. Fuji apples? They are Fuji apples.

Fuji apples are nice too. Envy apples are the best I've ever had had and I've only seen them at the store Once and any smooth they were for Granny Smith is alright. It's a you really don't like red delicious Any any other red delicious heads out there red delicious? That's what they would serve at school, too They're they're the worst apple in my worst out of all apples, they are the worst. They're my favorite apple. How many apples have you tried? Fuji, Red Delicious, the Granny Smith, another type of yellow,

because I thought it was interesting. Yeah, they're mushy. They're like mealy. I don't know what that one's called, but they're kind of mealy, you know? It's the same reason why I don't like pears too much. Pears crosses that line to being a little too mushy. I like a firm apple, firm hard apple.

Every time I ate an apple when I was a kid, my gums would bleed. Oh yeah. And I'd see the blood on them. That still happens to me sometimes. It's called gingivitis. We don't take care of our gums, baby. When I, mixing the fact that apples make my mouth

and everything already itchy, and then sometimes make my gums bleed It is a very uncomfortable feeling, but have you ever had? Dude, I can't you you haven't had most fruits man. I got it. I got to get you to on a future episode man I got to bring you I could what's that? What's that second dose of my antidote I got to take that's the last one though right yeah But it's a whole process. There's a funnel involved, the catheter, but.

Okay, I mean if you gotta do that, you gotta do that. I mean, it could be a shorter episode if we need to. Yeah, I mean we appreciate everyone who came by to listen to our ramblings. Yeah, thank you guys. Hope you had a good time. Hope that we were enough noise to distract you from whatever you were trying to be distracted from.

Absolutely, and thank you to all of our producers and executive producers who are on screen right now Thank you guys you really uh the new tiers were finally introduced to the patreon So you should be seeing your names if you have the executive producer tier or this or the sticker club tier That's right That's right And if you want to have your name up here and get stickers in the mail every month, you can go to patreon.com slash supermega. But enough about that. I do want to bring you a bunch of exotic fruits

for a future podcast. And I'll try them all. I will try them and I'll give my honest opinion. See, that's what I like. You're picky, but you'll try things. So it's like, that's all you can ask for. If you don't like something, you don't like something. You can't help it.

I don't like carrots. I agree with you on that one. Because they're pickled. Ooh, pickled stuff is fucking good. All right, but you gotta go take your antidote. I gotta go rub one off in the bathroom real quick. So, I gotta- I thought it was a seed that was still in one of my teeth.

I gotta date, so I gotta go. I gotta date with these raspberries. You gotta date with some dates. Dates are great. Right? I do like dates. Better not give me an olive don't know that I'm not gonna like olives have you never had an olive never had an

olive and I already know that I'm not gonna like them because I don't like their smell I feel like you would fucking love olives no I would I like olive I like the kind of things that you end up liking not black olives green olives they look like something that would come out of your butt see it you you create

these little scenarios that make you hate it before you even have it. Looks like something a doctor would find in your feces. Exactly, like see. What the hell? Big problem. We found an olive in your feces. Alert, alert!

All right, well thank you to everyone who tuned in. You can get this early and ad free over on our patreon as well And we love you guys. So what's the after show thing? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, if you want more of this episode There's there's a there's another chunk. There's mega show jr. Super mega jr. Super mega jr Which is an extra serving of this of this podcast So it's extra 15 to 30 minutes of this epic podcast. So go ahead and check that out if you want. And if not, thank you just for listening.

That means the world to us. You guys are epic, we love you. And is there any joke we can do to bring it full circle from like earlier in the podcast? Come on, there's gotta be something. Well, you can give your ending monologue. You said you at least remembered that one. I didn't study that one at all.

Goodbye, everyone. you