The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Don't Try To Gaslight Me (The Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics)

Episode Date: May 11, 2024

Adam reflects on the days he used to drive racecars, the fellas discuss bedwetting...yes bedwetting and they they talk about how people gaslight one another.

Welcome back to the Adam and Dr. Drew show classics. I'm your host Big Brother Jake and I got a good one for you today. First up is episode 208 titled Wedding the Bed that aired January 28th, 2015. Adam and Dr. Drew discuss bedwetting. Yes, bedwetting. And Adam was very passionate on this topic. Listen to his solution on how to solve this problem. All right. Well, maybe take a phone call. See how that goes.

I have a letter too if you guys want to... We got a letter? Give us a letter. All right. Hey, Gary. By the way, yeah, give us the letter and then I'll ask Gary questions. All right. This is from Sarah from Long Beach. And also, if you want to write into the way, yeah, give us the letter and then I'll ask Gary questions All right This is from Sarah from Long Beach and also if you want to write into the show just go to adamanddoctordrewshow.com fill out the form there Hi, my boyfriend's son's friend is a sleep peer. Hold on a second Boyfriend's son's friend a sleep peer. Yeah, I'm guessing she lives with her boyfriend. What does a sleep peer mean? Peer?

Peer. He pees in his sleep. Like urinator. Oh, peer. Okay, Jesus Christ. I heard P-E-E-R. Well, you think peers all the time. Yeah. Well, anyways, so far the kid has peed on blankets, but thank goodness they're sleeping

on the floor. But this past weekend he slept on the couch and the smell wafted at my nostrils after he left when I was sitting on the couch. What is the best way to broach this? He either has to wear diapers or his bedding has to be lined What causes it and is it weird to talk to his parents about it? He's 18 Oh, and I don't know if he should have grown out of it by now. Whoo. All right Is he drinking they wonder if he's you that drink it at night. Yeah, you can all right

Look wake him up Conversation a thousand times with the fuck a thousand people. Yeah, I'll fuck a thousand conversation a thousand times with a fucking thousand people, a fucking thousand people including my wife and my son. First off, could everyone just listen to me? I sound like a fucking huge douchebag, but look the fuck around everybody! Look around! Who do you want to listen to? I've had this, I was literally standing in my son's fucking bedroom having this fucking

retarded conversation, which is this. I used to wet the bed. I wet the bed late in life. I really don't know. I think I stopped from maybe age, you know, whatever the appropriate age was six or something And I and then I started again, you know It was a I don't know I was wedding bed when I was like 11 or 12 or something like that You did it as a teenager with your adult with the girlfriend shit drew everyone pees the bed once once a while

I fucking have a dream. But anyway, I Wet the fucking bed and My mom was though. needs therapy this is a repressed thing it's anger it's expressed in the way of urine and blah blah blah blah blah blah my grandfather's an old Jew old fucking Hungarian fucking Jew and all he knew bless his soul bless his soul all this old motherfucker knew is he didn't want me pissing on his sofa. Right, like this writer-caller.

Yeah. When we slept at my grandparents' house a lot because my family's a piece of shit. And slow down. Your family? I ran and brought that up. No. We spent a lot of nights at my grandparents' house. They lived nearby.

They cooked. He cooked. There was food and there was shelter. It was nice. nights at my grandparents house they live nearby they cooked here he cooked there was food and there was shelter it was nice he'd have the food on the table for the working goulash and a color TV two things that did not exist at the Corolla house so we happily slept on his sofa he did not want me to pee on his sofa shocking shocking so he would tell us a bedtime story as the Hungarians, they're loquacious people and they tell stories. So your sister was there too. Yeah. Tell us a bedtime story about 830, 9 o'clock at night. He'd tuck us in and then

he'd go into his den and he'd watch Johnny Carson. And then at about 1230, I know Carson was like 90 minutes or something back then, 1 o'clock, 1130 and at 1 o'clock, whatever it was, it was bedtime for grandpa. Grandpa would walk, as he was leaving the den, he would walk past me in this living room area on the sofa. He put a bucket there in advance. He would wake me up with one of his old Jew sounds. Old Jews have a bunch of sounds, you know, like for relationships. He'd shake my shoulder a little bit.

It was one Filipino version of that. There's like a joke like why the Filipino cross the road because the sprinklers were going off on the other side. Wow, interesting. So he's on to something. Shocking. Other cultures have different noises. I'd get up and I'd be asleep and he'd hand me the bucket, just a regular mop bucket and he'd go, go. I was asleep. I I went to bed at 8 30 or 9 o'clock is 1 a.m. I'd pull my little Underoos down and I would just piss into this bucket. How old are you there? 11 could be 11 could be 12 could be 9 Early adolescence, but how about an 18 year old?

We're gonna ever I just quite I just fucking fill the bucket up And then I pull the thing back and I just collapse back in bed yeah, and the next morning I'd wake up like huh you know what happened? I look in there There's a fucking bucket filled with piss like kick it over And then it was slid under the coffee table and I was my job to then go dump I'd go I don't know why I'd go dump it in the yard I'd go outside and just go to dump it in the in the bushes the corolla Yeah, the corolla way rinse it out with like a hose, you know. And that was my bucket.

So when my son was wetting the bed later than he needed to, my daughter stopped and my son continued. So I said, look, and I'm telling this to the caller or to the emailer right now, get a fucking egg timer. Get a kitchen digital timer. Okay, you can use your fucking phone. You can use whatever you want. But I'm old school. For $8 you can get a little digital timer. That digital timer just has an hour and a minute on it.

If you go to bed at 10, set it for four hours. If you go to bed at midnight, set it for Friday. Hold on. This thing. Don't even need an ectimer anymore. I know. I'll tell you why I like this device. I'll tell you why I like it. The phone has a lot of other things connected to it like okay now your phones on okay now there's texting going on or goes off it gets your attention other way I want a dedicated thing it's the size of a fucking pack it's a size of a box of matches it's a size of fucking box of matches you hit it for four hours when

it goes off you get up and you take a piss. If you get up and your bed is wet, set it for three hours. The night before or the next night. Set, find that time when you need to get up, you need to drain your bladder. Don't turn into a big emotional thing. Don't turn into anything else. You need to piss. Go fucking wake up, set it up for yourself.

Again, start with five hours, see how it works. If it's wet, go to four hours. See how it works. Get up, completely evacuate your bladder, go back to bed. It's going to be hard to piss the bed. Now, I had this conversation in my kid's bedroom with my wife, Olga probably standing there and my son and Somewhere around lap three of the but he doesn't and when it's gonna scare him and At a certain point I do what I do with everything where I just go fuck it then just go change the sheets every morning I'm gonna go get drunk in the other room. I've said wasn't there a conversation about toughening him up Isn't that? I have given...

There is a problem. By the way, Drew, do you know anyone who solves problems better than I do? I'm not trying to sound like a pompous ass right now. Who has a more... Even without making an ass. Just a more sort of approach to problems. You're a good problem solver. No one could deny that Right. Yeah

Why not just listen to the guy so I want to try it when I try the guy used to wet his bed No It was like you get the yeah, but then the thing's gonna scare him and then it it might startle him the first night But then the second night at a certain point I said just try it for a week try for a week and then it was like yeah but yeah but yeah but and then I just do what I always do fuck it then change the sheets. What a randomly bizarre thing for them to resist isn't it? Why don't you list your son? Why don't you just go around? Because when he is there and the pushback is coming, then they... No, I know, get in by himself.

Just don't get with the triangulation. Just fuck it. Just fucking change the sheet, buy a new mattress. I'll pay for it. I'll go to the other room. I'm going to the other room and get drunk. I don't... I don't...

I don't... I'm not... Why are you pushing back on me? I'm the guy who fucking built the house. I'm the guy who fucking pays for the house. I'm the guy who writes the books. Why, what's with all the pushback? Just fucking try it. I'm the guy who used to wet the bed.

I solved this problem in 1974. My grandfather solved it. Get up, piss in a bucket, go to bed. A lot of, you know, what if you get up, he gets disoriented, he doesn't know where the bucket is. Leave the night light on, turn the thing, tell him the thing. No, but then what if, okay, okay, first two nights might be a little rocky, but then that'll just be the rhythm. Get up, take a piss, shut the timer, go back to but what if but well, okay Forget it then just change your fucking sheets

It's a weird way to go through life Drew I don't I Don't know Why is this a method to actually fix the problem or is it does it just stop you from peeing the bed? Well it fixes, well what's the difference? Here's the deal, here's the treatment that... And as you get older, like do you think... Yeah, typically I'll grow up, but that guy's 18, but he's a urologist, he may have a little problem, but here's the way...

Try the bucket first. Right, here's the way they approach treatment. If he goes to get treatment, they're going to give him a hormone that you sniff up your nose called DDAVP that prevents you from making urine during the night. So it's effectively the same strategy. So as opposed to evacuating what's there, you just don't produce it. That's the treatment. Isn't that crazy? So Adam's mechanical approach is the same as the pharmacological approach, and I would dare say I'd rather use the mechanical approach.

Well, what do we know, Drew? What mechanical approach. Well what do we know Drew? You don't know. What do we know? What do we know? I'm just a guy who puts cars in houses. Welcome back to the Adam and Dr. Drew show classics. Up next is episode 550 titled,'t do it in front of the door That aired on April 3rd 2017 Adam talks about the time he drove in a 40 lap race and the feelings he gave check it out

All right, so anyway thinking about Drusky, yeah, and I was out last weekend doing a car race. That's why I was thinking about you. Yeah. I was thinking about just getting yourself out of your comfort zone and getting it into a place that's not familiar or comfortable. Is that what you were doing with the car race? That's what I was doing, yeah. But also, in environment, you've never, we're rarely, I would ask yourself to put yourself

into this position, although I don't know if you can, but one, I can skip rope for half an hour, watch TMZ, and think about jokes for my show on, tomorrow night by the way, on Spike. I can do almost everything simultaneously. Speaking of tomorrow, I think that's the one your walkthrough with me is gonna be on, right? I do believe, I do believe.

So there's nothing that I can't do while doing something else. It's what I do all day. It's what everyone does all day. But I notice with this car race, there is nothing to do but live in your moment. Right. And you're so surrounded by sound and motion and all sorts of input coming through your hands and your butt and your foot and as

the car starts to slip and slide and it starts to slide the tires get tired in the race car starts to drift out and you're trying to put in like steering input and throttle all these little micro little movements and decisions and this track I was at was so fast that every decision had to be made just split second by split second by split second. And you never, never get to go anywhere mentally. And this was a 40 lap race and it was an hour and a half long.

It's the longest I've been in the car and I never was able to think about anything. Did that make it seem like an eternity or a millisecond? It was this thing. I had a radio. I had this thing in the driver's meeting. It's the thing I always do and then the thing that never happens which is you have a drivers meeting before the race and they explain a lot of rules and what's going to happen and what happens when the safety car comes out and what happens full-course yellow

or just single yellow or double yellow for whatever whatever if you get black flagged the blah blah blah blah blah and then I do what I always do which is I raise my hand and I go it's a 40 lap. Oh, there's a picture of me napping almost at the driver's meeting. So it's a 40 lap race. And so what I do is I say, I have a question. Yes. I never have any idea where I am in these races

and it makes a difference to me. If I'm gonna pass somebody I'm gonna wait Usually I hope they're gonna make a mistake, but also I'll wait until about the end Two laps maybe three laps left and I'll make a move But I don't want to do it with a bunch of laps left But I also realized in a 40 lap lap race with cautions and yellow flags of I will not know where we're at I won't know if we're halfway. I won't know if we're halfway in. I won't know for 25 laps in. The first thing you lose is your ability to keep track of things like that. I imagine. So I will not know. So I raised my hand and I say is there any signal? Like can you give us a 10 laps to go or halfway

through or something so I can just have my mind sort of ticking and they said well we don't normally do it what we give you is the white flag white flag means one more great that's not helpful but what would be helpful is like hey we're halfway through and they said what we usually do it's not really protocol but what we usually do, it's not really protocol, but what we normally do is we'll give like a half. Like the guy will show like a half thing, you know, the starter guy, some of the corner guys will be like half, half, show you like a half move. That's cool. Yeah, it seems cool, except for then I walked down the meeting and I thought, what are the chances they're gonna do that? Right, what if they don't and then I thought I bet they're not gonna do it and then I

thought now I'll be on lap 33 and I'll go I haven't seen half yet so we're not we're not the lap 20 yet yeah do you like immediately ignored it can you do have a pit is there a pit yeah can you have your pit do it kind of thing I for the first time ever was wearing a radio ooh, but it's so loud oh yeah inside the car that you cannot hear what the guy is saying why have it? well honestly why? because during the if you get a yellow if there's an accident or somebody goes off and there's a yellow everyone will

slow down and when you slow down then you can hear the revs of the engine slow down and he can communicate and he was able to tell me 15 laps left after we on a yellow on a full course and they didn't they didn't do the half thing if we ever care to look at the tape we could look at the tape and you could see it. But anyway, I'll show you, I think Gary's got a lap of the track. I'll show you a lap of the track whenever he finds it.

We can take a call. You can find it then later. Or did you find it? All right, you can find it. Oh my God, where is it? Willow Springs. Where is that? It's in the desert.

Oh shit, I can see that. It's Palmdale, okay, got it. Oh my god. Now, you know I'm a car enthusiast, right? Yeah. And you know I like fast. Yeah. Yeah. But this is what makes a ball game.

That experience looks absolutely unpleasant to me. Oh, I like that. Like, I would not want to do that in a million years. I admire that you do it. Oh man. Fantastic. Trying to pass a guy that doesn't want to get passed. Are they supposed to, is there a protocol when you try to pass they're supposed to like, kind of... Not really.

So this is me in third. But when it goes down that back straight, you can just let it run for a second, Gary, and turn it up. But when you see, when you hear now, you can imagine trying to listen. When you go down this back straight. So it'll, right now you're going up this line over here. Right here is where it opens up. There you go, Drew. So you gotta do that for 40 laps and you can't think about anything. That's crazy.

You can't look around. You can't notice anything or do anything. That to me sounds like the most appealing part about it. The focus you have to maintain and then the intensity of the whole experience. That sounds cool. It's a lot of sweat but yeah but the sound the sweat the actual

All the prep and shit you had to go through. Oh my god. I didn't have to go through that much prep though Just learning how to do that and then suiting up and oh, yeah. Yeah, you gotta there is a thing though like Getting in and out of the car and stuff like that, where you just, you do it a few times. These guys time you to get out of the car. The official has to come time you for fires. Wow. You have to get all buckled in six ways,

and helmet, and Hans device, your head and neck restraint device, and everything window net up, door shut, everything completely buttoned up, and then they give you 20 seconds to get out of car And it's not my car. So I you're not sure where all the latches and snaps and things We mean it's just everyone gets out of the same car No, you got to get out of your car your race and whose car was this Burton Racing?

There's a there were cut trans am there. They're a trans am core Wow they're a Trans Am Corvette. Wow. Was everyone driving the same car essentially or no? I had Corvettes ahead of me but there were Mustangs and everything else. Oh I see a Viper or something. In the race, yeah. Wasn't a Viper, there was, I don't know if we'll find a picture. It looks like a Viper, it's another Corvette. There was, I don't know if we'll find a picture. It looks like a Viper. It's another Corvette. There was like a, I think there was a Lamborghini Gallardo, I think, that was in there. There's been lots of fast, fun, crazy, crazy stuff.

It was really the top of the race car food chain, or at least the road racing food chain. And it was intense. Now it did not look like a young group of pilots. No, there's a couple of younger guys in there, but they're mostly older dudes. Whatever you need to do those cars, you're better at 50 than you are at 20. Is it that? Also, you've got to work your way into that car. I was going to say, is it that or is there a high cost to all this?

It's very expensive, but the drivers aren't paying for it oftentimes. So there's that there. We'll be right back with more of the Adam and Dr. Drew show classics. Last up today, we go to episode 800 titled Music Makes Me Angry and that aired on April 6th, 2018. Adam and Dr. Drew talk about the term gaslighting and the history behind the term. They also took calls. In Latin this gentleman.

Did we talk about the term gaslighting I know what the term means that that's the one that My daughter throws around all the time and if you're in a college campus every time you argue with somebody They just go why you gaslighting me that that's their that's their go-to that is From a film from the 30s or something and it's weird that it made a comeback Well, because it's a comeback because gaslighting. It's a convenient way to throw people off because you're not really sure what they're saying. Gaslighting was a movie about someone

who was trying to make the other person feel crazy. Exactly. I guess it's called The Gaslight. Yes, it's called The Gaslight. But it must have been from the 30s or 40s. Yes, it was from the 30s, yeah. Okay. And it didn't formally exist in the 90s.

I mean, I knew it because I was an improv guy. I hung around with smart guys who watched a lot of movies. If I would say to anybody, I'm gaslighting you or you're gaslighting me, that wouldn't have made sense to anyone. Now, any argument is gaslighting. Oh, really? Yeah. There's two moves. Gaslighting,

which again confuses your opponent, makes them try to adjust as opposed to going stop, I'm not, this is an argument, here's my logic. Or... Karen Valentine is being gaslit by her? Hold on, Gary just put up a definition. What's it say? Karen Valentine. Manipulating someone by psychological means. Karen Valentine, that's me, wait, hold on. Where do you see Karen Valentine? Oh yeah, in the first episode Karen Valentine is being gaslighted by her husband. Psychological means questioning their own sanity.

But that's a TV movie from the 70s. The film is from the 30s. That's just, they just use random things as an example of how it would be used in a sentence Look at that I was using the turn of the century turn of the century that we were looking at graph of the frequency of use It must have spiked when we had the monkeys farting into the flame on the man show right? Yeah lighting of the gas. Oh, yeah Literally guess so what's going on? That there's two moves down which is your gas lighting me which is immediately sets you kind of makes you confused if you're trying to Have a discussion with somebody or the other is they they project their own aggression onto you You're being aggressive. You're being sex. Oh being sexy. Oh, that's been around for a while.

Yeah, you're this, you're that, which is actually their disavowed parts of themselves that they're putting on you. It's confusing when you're the recipient of this stuff. I, again, I blame you. Why? Because a lot of this stuff we're talking about, if you've argued with a woman enough, is kind of female behavior. It's less male and more female. I've had arguments with women. I've had arguments with men.

They argue in different ways. The quest for us to become women has caused a lot of this. And I blame Drew because Drew always looked at it as the light, the path. And I always said to him, I don't think it's the path. I think there are plenty of good qualities men have and plenty of good qualities women have and then vice and then plenty of bad qualities they both have. There is no one way that it's it's called a balance my friend no I there's a balance there is a balance that is created yeah by my mentality and

there's a balance is created by my wife's mentality and if we just ran our house and raise our kids by swinging all the way over to her side and just sort of going, hey, this is the new world order. We think like you think and that's how we run our household. That would not be good. And conversely, if we swung it over to my way, it'd be utopia. I know you thought, let's take some phone calls. I know you thought I was going a different direction. No, if we swung it over to my way, it would be better. But it wouldn't be good. What's good is the balance. That's the balance.

Now, these would be good for your kids. That's right. Now, it would be good for the neighborhood. No. The balance is what we're striving for. And if you are going to decide that there is no, everything's fluid and everything's, there is no man, there's no female,

and if you've decided like we've decided that the enlightened path and the answer is toward the female side, and we've gone hard down that road over the last few years and we're going even harder down that road and faster down that road over the last few years and we're going even harder down that road and faster down that road then you are going to get these types of discussions these types of thoughts. What types? The gaslighting? Just the discussions we're having now that I felt threatened he felt threatened nobody should ever like these sort of insane proclamations you know if this one child is ever threatened you

know you turn on the news and it's like, a child should not feel unsafe in their classroom. No child deserves to get shot at school. No parent wakes up and says, I hope my son or daughter gets shot on a school camp. Nobody wishes that for their children, and by you suggest, you know, that's like alright this is this is insane This is ramblings of an insane Purse of people right? I don't even do you understand That every one of these debates I now hear on TV and the internet has the one side going Of course I'm against school shootings. You know, of course I don't hate Hispanic people or I'm not prejudiced against.

Of course I think everyone is equal. Has like stating things that are insane, obvious. And as a matter of fact, I would like it if the people that did that would not dignify it with an answer all the time when they're being accused of whatever it is. These are non, this is not critical thinking. That's the other person gaslighting you.

They're the one actually doing the gaslighting where you have to go, wait a minute, am I racist? No, wait a minute, I'm not gas lighting where you have to go. Wait a minute. I'm not I'm not am I racist No, wait a minute. I'm not raised if then you have to address it. That's gas lighting, right? So Sorry, what do you have anything to say about that? About the gas. No. No, it was just that that that those strategies have become so commonplace now and there's so strategies Yeah, and they're not They're not discourse. They so strategies yeah and they're not they're not discourse they're not logical they're not discussive you know there's nothing happening except people acting out emotionally it's really an acting

out behavior okay you ready to do this Kyle 22 Chicago Kyle hey what's up Adam what's going on a fan forever thank you on a fan forever? Thank you. been a fan forever. I've been trying to get ahold of someone all day today. So I was listening to the serious accent. I know you're familiar with barstool. I know you had a few people on in the past. And they were talking, they recently bought this boxing league. It's called rough and rowdy. And it's, it's the funniest thing ever. There's they have just regular people that come it's it's the funniest thing ever. They have just

regular people that come. It started with just like these hillbillies in West Virginia. And they they hype up these fights and there is it's becoming huge. There were 70,000 pay per view buys the last time and they just got Bill Burr. Bill Burr saw it and it was a huge fan of it. And they just got him to announce alongside it's with the Barstow president and your name was just dropped randomly today on the XM saying that we need to get Kroll on here. He would be electric and then I don't even think they know they had a boxing background but I kind of just wanted to get your opinion on it. Bill Burr would know that wouldn't he? I would assume that they must have some idea about boxing background, otherwise my name

may not have been dropped, but look, I'm happy it was dropped. Yeah, you know, it's funny, not directly here, but I said, well, we started the show talking about how guys were turning into chicks, and I said, each time 10 guys turn into a chick, the 11th one becomes a cage fighter. The reason this stuff is on the rise is because we're stuffing, we're not letting boys be boys anymore and it's breaking out, it's going hard the other way, right? We don't let my son can't play football at his school, you know what I mean? They're taking again this notion of, hey we got a bunch of chicks and we're running the show and we don't like

football because we find it aggressive and we know There's all the things we don't like about it from a feminine standpoint So hey boys be miserable because we've doomed we've deemed this not good Right, but if there's a bunch of dudes who are at the school, then they would deem it as good It's it's unfair and it's kind of torture because these kids really want to get out and get after it. My son told me, much like you and me, that football is one of the most important life experiences going from being sort of a schlubby freshman to anchoring on an offensive line

as a senior. It's something about that is transformative. It's not just overcoming the skill, it's putting yourself in harm's way every play on behalf of your peers right? That's an experience house frowns deemed it She doesn't like she doesn't like the aggression Yeah, so she's gonna get rid of it and because they're in charge and drew because you said their path was the answer then we're all Supposed to just get in line

How can I make that up? What should I do to make penance? I need a blow job right now After the show Yeah, I'll look you got one of your lackeys you got to have one of your lackeys look up look up all this though And then you got to get in touch with them because I've listened to all the podcast you guys have very very similar humor And I think it would be incredibly you'd be exposure wise and money wise. I think it'd be worth Thanks, Kyle. You gotta at least look into it. I shall look into Ruffin Rowdy.

Well that's all for this week. Thanks for listening to the Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics. Remember to check back each week for new episodes. And while you're at it, don't forget to like, subscribe and rate us five stars wherever you get your podcasts.