The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 51
Episode Date: August 6, 2022Kangaroo Courts, Anti-Woke Marketing, Algorithm Generated Merchandise, VR Chat  ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Let's get those super chats in!
Don't forget to super chat.
Get him in, get him in, get him in, get him in!
You want to be up front.
Yeah, you want to be at the top of the super chats
before everybody stops, you know, turns off the show.
Yeah, you want to get your hilarious joke
in before everyone says,
oh, this is the super chat part? I'm done.
I hate this part.
I fucking hate that they leave it in the podcast, too.
What a bunch of people trying to trick Vito into saying a dumb phrase
Telling him the phrases that I don't know. I don't know see some people were I saw people keep
I'm a retard. No, it's not that one. I fell for it
My own steam deck why do you get the This was sent to me by a fan.
Can you have two of them?
I don't know.
It's never been done.
There's never been a podcast.
There's never been a podcast with two Link soundboards.
That'd be pretty fun.
See, because if I bought myself a soundboard, it would be cringe.
Yeah.
But because someone else bought it for me, it's cool.
It's not cringe.
It's okay to have a soundboard On a podcast
Not if you buy it yourself
That's cringe as fuck bro
Some guys
Some guys are pretty good
They're quick with the soundboard
I think I gotta implement it
Into more
Cause I have one
And I never set it up good
What do you mean?
Cause I wanna have
Yeah I don't have enough
Like little clips
You know
Uh
Little like fun zingers
Like that?
Like this? That's a good one that's a good one
all right are we ready to start the show i think we could start the show let's do it
wow beast biggest beast theme song East's biggest problem in the universe!
Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe!
The only show that ranks every problem in the universe.
From journalist whining to incompetence driving.
I think I could have picked a better one than this.
That was by...
I didn't even write his name down.
Oh shit, he's a piece of shit. I didn't even write his name down. Oh, shit.
He's a piece of shit.
I'm your host, Nick Masterson.
Joining me as always is Vito.
There was all kinds of cat rape ones.
Why didn't I pick Vito's cat getting...
From Vito's cat getting molested...
Yeah, to driving before arrested.
I don't know.
To...
Yeah.
I don't care.
How you doing?
I feel fine.
I think it's been a good, solid week.
Pick any fights with anybody this week that I should know about?
Who was I fighting with?
Let's go.
Vito Fight Corner.
Ding, ding, ding.
Who are you fighting with on Twitter this week?
Just the same people.
Who's that?
Well, it might come up in the show.
We'll see.
What is the race of the person you're fighting with this week?
I wouldn't know.
I can't.
You know, I don't see color, Dick.
That's incredible.
I know.
It's one of my many wonderful traits.
Okay.
You ready for the winner of last week?
Yes.
It's Overly Courteous Drivers.
Wow.
You're on a roll, Dick.
I know.
I think that's four episodes.
I was trying to look back.
I think you're four episodes streak
It's a dick dynasty
It is a dynasty
Dick dynasty is in play
I'm going to hit ten
That's my prediction
It's very positive
Ten in a row
What happens if someone hits ten in a row?
That's a big
Then you're fired
Yeah then you're fired
You gotta get someone else for the show at that point
Why can't you bring in a big problem?
It's easy
All of them are pretty close
I get really close
And then at the last minute You always go on Twitter and you go,
Hey, don't forget to vote specifically for me, probably.
See?
And all your little buddies go running over.
They're not little, first of all.
Yeah, they're all huge.
We all are.
Three XLs.
That's what I sell out of.
How many?
Is that all?
Which t-shirts sell the most?
The XLs?
Three XLs.
You got a whole pile of smalls to throw out.
You know I don't sell large for for women yeah mediums and below because they don't ever i don't want my merchandise represented in
such a way they think i'm kidding too no i'm not kidding that's pretty that's pretty bad animal
abuse is second so you had the top two. Top two. Wow. You were destroyed. Game journalists.
Game journalists was winning for like a hot second.
That's a good problem.
Yeah, then all those nerds got distracted by something else.
Yeah.
About this.
Occupational stereotypes from Reverend Scott.
And then discounted food fakeouts.
Discontinued, sorry.
Yes.
Food fakeouts.
Well, I am validated, of course why is that on the discontinued food fake outs well we might find i don't know maybe i save it for a certain
segment okay uh did you happen to see that fan art by head hazed i can't put it on the show i
don't want to look at that ever again what do you mean? Please don't bring up that awful image
What is wrong with this?
There's a horrifying
Fat Italian man
That's you
Using a Q-tip on a young
Shota cat boy
Is that a lady or a man?
Why would you use a Q-tip on a
No I guess that's gotta be a lady
Cause I'm using the Q-tip
Why'd you assume it was a boy?
Cause it's got no tits!
But...
It's Lolly.
It's Lolly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, what do you think of that?
Is it okay, cause it's a joke?
Do I think what's okay?
Like, is it legal?
Sure, go nuts.
Do you think it's cool, I mean?
No, I don't think it's...
With a Lolly cat saying,
Na ma...
Na ma yate.
Vito Saba!
Ah!
Ah!
I'm gonna throw up.
Yeah, it looks disgusting.
Does the leg hair, is that accurate that you got there?
The leg hair that you got? Yeah, I'm a pretty hairy guy.
Okay.
I have no proof necessary.
Just a yes or a no.
I'll ask a follow-up.
I'm a very hairy gentleman.
I don't know if I'm that hairy.
Well, there you go.
Check out.
Oh, there's no audio?
Well, they got us.
I mean, like, good joke.
I never understand the, you know, we can't hear you, we can't see you.
They're just like as bad as swatters.
The people who sit with the audio is fucked.
They're even worse than swatters.
That is 10,000 times more annoying than getting swatted.
It is pretty annoying.
That's terrible.
Okay.
I've got some comments here.
Wayland,
the irritating villain Collins
made me spit my coffee out.
You remember him?
The niggler was calling me.
High velocity mouse.
I like the niggler.
Assassination mechanism says,
Vito gets a little too excited
at those hot cougars
in your area pop-up ads.
Yeah,
because they're cats.
Nordic Frost.
That was a good joke.
I saw that.
That was a good one. Nordic Frost says, I watched good joke. I saw that. That was a good one.
Nordic Frost says,
I watched a playthrough of that game.
Quote, I watched a playthrough of that game
as a guaranteed panty dropper.
That's what the women like to hear.
We watch gay playthroughs.
We're always trying to impress women.
We're always catering to women on the show.
You're listening to the wrong fucking show
if you think that's true.
Reveneer says,
Vito's consistency of thought on grifting and laughing at people getting killed
is getting dangerously close to a segment from a show of a similar name that I remember.
Look, if somebody...
It's not good if it happens to somebody underage.
You feel kind of bad for them, you know?
You do.
Yeah.
Someone who's 17?
17, yeah.
Okay.
I don't feel bad for him
But I'm not gonna joke about it
You know
Cause like
Cause he had his whole life
Ahead of him
Yeah kind of
It was like a split second
Decision
You know
Whereas Ashley Babbitt
Planned to destroy the capital
For years
She got two kids
So that's
That is funny
I mean
Fuck em
It's complicated If Trayvonin was white would it be funny yes okay so i don't know what's good it's funny
if he's like a month older then it's funny 18 time to look time to play ball i think i think
you can make jokes about the trayvon he's 17 Is the problem When it's When it's like Underage people It's like a little
Uncomfortable
Yeah he was a dumb kid
Feels bad
He's a dumb kid
He brutalized that man
Yeah look
And other people did
They thought I was like
Flip flopping on
Trayvon Martin
Yeah
I do believe
Trayvon Martin
Like jumped that guy
Yeah
Like yeah
I do believe that
I just
You know
I don't know exactly
What led up to it
Vito being so giddy
About Ashley Babbitt
But getting pissy
About Trayvon Martin
Is extremely Maddox
And Eon
I think they're very different
I think they're very
Different situations
And then everybody's arguing
They're like
Well how come you're not
Laughing at Sandy Hook
And I'm like
That's like toddlers
Getting
That's way different
It's even funnier
If they were storming
All the parents are so upset
Yeah
If they were storming
The Capitol Maybe I would be
suing Alex Jones so our kids will come back
to life.
That's not why they're suing him. They're suing him.
We need $100 million to pay the fucking
guy that's bringing our kids back to life.
Shouldn't you get a little bit of money out of that situation?
A little bit. Guy lies.
Like a car.
Everybody gets a car from Alex Jones.
Like Oprah, okay? Oprah doesn't come out and say everyone gets $50 million. She says you get a car. New car. Everybody gets a car from Alex Jones. Like Oprah, okay? Oprah doesn't come out and say, everyone gets $50 million.
She says, you get a car.
That's the most joy someone can get.
Is a new car.
Yeah, like listen, listen, listen.
What if I said I got you a car sitting out front?
That'd be pretty great.
Now what if I said I got you two cars?
Basically the same feeling.
Same feeling.
I just want one.
Yeah.
You got a good point, Dick.
Thank you.
Okay, go ahead
With whatever you have
Well what I've got
Is an exciting segment
That we like to call
Vote it up
I clicked off of the
Do you want to play
Your new stinger
You've got to vote
At biggestroblem.show
Hey vote it up
Again
If you don't vote There'll be no show Again! Again!
Vote it up, folks.
What?
That's a great stinger.
Go ahead.
It's perfect.
Well, vote it up.
Of course, this segment we revisit past problems,
maybe give them a different look.
Speaking of last week's problem, discontinued food fake-outs, according to CNN Business, the Choco Taco is not quite dead yet.
Oh, thank God.
As Klondike said on Twitter, we've hurt our fans,
and we're hoping to bring this favorite treat back to ice cream trucks
in the coming years. It always comes back
folks. Go vote that problem
up. And another problem to vote up
is payment processes. Yeah, hit the
stinger.
Vote it up. You've got to vote
at biggestproblem.show
Hey, vote it up.
If you don't vote
there'll be no show. You know what I need actually?
Is a bone to pick
A bone to pick stinger
Yeah
Were you aware
Last time you left
I don't know how you did this
But you rubbed your shoes
On my couch
And there was a big black
Like shoe streak
Okay
On the couch That's strange That's black Like Shoe streak Okay On the couch
That's strange
That's my bone to pick
Segment
How are my
Bone to pick
Bone to pick
With you
I don't remember
Putting my shoes on your couch
Probably your dog
Attacked me
And every time
I come over your house
That stupid dog
Jumps up
Tackles me
Drags me around the house
Yeah
Probably knocked me back
out of the couch.
I went up there like,
what the fuck is this?
What the fuck is this?
What was he walking all over?
I do not remember.
It was like Rick James' couch in here.
I don't put my feet on your couch.
I think that's,
I think,
I don't know what you're talking about.
Are you going to sue me
for $50 million?
I might.
But speaking of lawsuits
and court processes,
another past problem
with payment processors.
Well, Visa and MasterCard said on Thursday they've suspended ties with Traffic Junkie,
an adult advertising network owned by the same company who owns Pornhub,
after a lawsuit raised questions over whether the payment firms are facilitating child pornography.
This, of course, relates to that woman who is suing Visa, MasterCard, MindGeek, Pornhub,
and everybody else due to an explicit video of herself posted on the site filmed when
she was only 13 years old.
Now, the judge is not letting Visa off the hook.
They say Visa made the decision to continue to recognize MindGeek, the owners of Pornhub,
as a merchant, despite the alleged knowledge that MindGeek monetized child porn.
Well, let's just throw it all away. Let no one just take all the... As a merchant, despite the alleged knowledge that MindGeek monetized child porn. Well.
Let's just throw it all away.
Let no one's just take all the.
You do one little, you put one little child porn on there and all of a sudden.
Look, MindGeek tries.
Yeah.
Okay.
You tell them there's child porn.
They're like, we're taking care of it.
Yeah, I'm sure they're going to take it.
You know who doesn't try?
Facebook, Twitter.
You sue Twitter.
Like, you got my child porn on there.
They're like, well, you know what? No. We have no way to prove. We're not going to. We don't know. Take, Twitter. You sue Twitter. You got my child put on there.
They're like,
well, you know what?
No.
We have no way to prove. We're not going to
take it down.
We don't take down anything
unless it's the president
or Alex Jones
or a conservative
thought leader
of some kind.
I don't know why
they don't give them
an opportunity
to just be like,
well, we'll take it.
I think they do take stuff down
if you report it.
Twitter?
No, Pornhub would.
Yes, Pornhub is
very responsible.
They need it down. They know nobody likes, they, Pornhub would. Yes, Pornhub is doing a good job.
They know nobody likes, they know women don't like them. Well, they know that it's
going to get them in big trouble if they have it on
there because there's all this scrutiny
and all these lawmakers hate pornography
for some reason. That case really annoys me
because I think that the judge is just trying
to get the payment processors to
abandon Pornhub to punish them.
That's interesting is that they already got the payment processors to abandon Pornhub to punish them. that's interesting is that they already got
the payment processors
to abandon Pornhub,
but now they're going after
their MindGeek
and their advertising wing
traffic junkie.
Just anything
that makes them
any amount of money.
Visa and MasterCard
are being forced to abscond.
Well, that's voted up, folks.
Voted up.
You've got to vote.
And think it's problem. I did both parts. V it up. You've got to vote. At biggest problem
dot show.
I did both parts there.
Hey, vote it up.
I'm Hall and Oates.
If you don't vote,
there'll be no show.
You can harmonize it.
Hey, thank you.
So vote it up.
Vote it up.
Vote it up.
Vote it up.
Okay.
I did that literally
like an hour before coming in,
so.
Wow.
Nailed it. Thank God it wasn't. Those are some great stingers, I tell you what. What show before coming in So Wow Nailed it
Thank god it wasn't
Those are some great stingers
I tell you what
What show has
Thank god you do it before the show
Or it'd be longer
Well
I think
What show has produced bits
Is that what you were gonna say
No no
What show dazzles you
What show dazzles you
With shitty karaoke
Before every show
It's not exciting
Somebody was telling me
I can't believe that
Vito's song is stuck in my head
It's good
And I'm like
Well cause it's like One of the most famous songs In history That's why It's not exciting for people I can't believe that Vito song is stuck in my head It's good and I'm like well cause it's like one of the most
Famous songs in history that's why
It's not cause it's a
Wow what a great riff he came up with
No no that was the Rolling Stones you fucking idiot
Say what you want about Vito but his stinger
It really sticks with you
Cause it's happy birthday except it's
Top fucking radio hits
And just changing the words
Voted up on our side
Wow this guy What else has he written Fucking radio hits And just changing the words Voted up on our side Voted up on our side
Wow
This guy
What else has he written?
There's really something there
Okay
Here's my problem
Alright
Dark dark day
For speech
Oh is there a dark day going on?
It's a dark day
Really?
Vito
Well that may be
Maybe the worst day ever
Really? Wow Seconded only by the day that It's a dark day Really Vito Well that may be Maybe the worst day ever Really
Wow
Seconded only by the day
That Alex Jones was banned
From YouTube
Twitter
Thirded by the day
He was banned from Twitter
Yeah
One day he'll be banned
From water
Quite possibly
He'll go to get a drink of water
And the DWP guy
Will just shoot it right out
Of his apartment
Of water and power
Bam
With blue hair Flipped over She's just posting About her COVID shot and the DWP guy will just shoot it right out of his apartment of water and power. Bam!
With blue hair flipped over.
She's just posting about her COVID shot, her 20th COVID booster online.
Well, we've already gotten every episode age restricted from this COVID shit,
but why don't you go to make it an even...
Kangaroo courts!
Kangaroo courts, Tick.
Kangaroo courts.
You know what some of the characteristics of kangaroo courts are?
What are they?
They happen to someone I don't like
Gets a
Verdict against them
No that's every kangaroo court
Mostly
Mostly
Mostly
Um
It's uh
Judges can be incompetent
Or clearly
Compromised
Not unbiased
You know like a judge
Should be unbiased
It's a show trial
It's like the uh
It's like the verdict
Has already been determined.
Yeah.
And the court is...
Like Count Dankula.
Remember him?
Kangaroo court.
Kangaroo court.
They brought in a biased judge.
They brought him in out of retirement.
Yeah.
Most retarded guy they had.
Did they really bring a judge out of retirement for that guy?
Yeah.
Just to nail him?
Some guy who had like never heard of the internet before.
Yeah.
They got the oldest guy they could find.
What did he do with his dog?
He made it racist.
Oh my God.
A gross violation of procedures and legal precedents.
Not giving you a jury by your peers.
Just a judge going, you're guilty.
And then when you say it, they're like, I said liable, not guilty.
And you're like Alright well
Whatever
I guess that's what I am
Well I know kangaroo courts exist
But I can't think of any
In recent memory
How about the SEC?
Every single
Court case they have
Going after
Our friends
At Coinbase
Or whatever
Banks
Letting their friends go.
Trying to destroy crypto.
Trying to destroy crypto.
Yeah.
Propping up these fucking scams.
How about those?
How about J6?
January 6th?
No, no.
No, no.
Will that get us to my past too?
Yes!
Every time!
Because they're all guilty
and they're not going to get them enough.
There you go.
That's what I,
that's okay.
So let's do,
let's do Sarkat opposite day, right?
Sure.
Do you remember where you were when Alex Jones was making fun of that totally real school shooting?
I was in the closet listening to my wife get railed by her boyfriend.
And I thought there's never been a worse thing than a guy making fun of a mass shooting in the same country where no fake shootings have ever happened before.
And the government has never lied about anything.
God forbid that anybody go on the offense against a system that's totally rigged and totally black boxed.
Where guys are rotting away in jail for doing nothing, for selling weed to each other.
Where you can lose your whole livelihood.
Good opposite day.
It's an excellent opposite. Yeah, yeah. God forbid. doing nothing for selling weed to each other where you can lose your whole life.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
God forbid.
God forbid anyone.
Oh man.
Dick.
One of the problems we've had on the show is a fake news.
How do you feel about fake news?
Not do you like it or do you not like it? I hate it.
You hate fake news.
Yeah.
I hate it.
Do you like it or do you not like it?
I hate it.
You hate fake news.
Yeah, I hate it. So if a so-called newsman journalist had a website devoted to lying, that would maybe be bad.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's this opposite day dick I'm talking to still.
It would be so bad.
It would be the worst thing in the world if somebody had a website, fucking Alex Jones
had a website saying, oh, these guys are, this guy laughing about his kid being dead
is an actor.
It wasn't laughing.
Did you see the press conference?
He was like, he was laughing his ass off.
They were giving each other high fives.
The parents at the.
No, I don't even.
No, I can't even say it because
i'm gonna get sued for 111 billion dollars this clip but regardless uh we know we know that there
are not crisis type situation i'm playing around youtube oh don't say that oh you can't say that
no you definitely can't say that puppets crisis puppet is that well
we hate puppets on this show crisis muppets yeah crisis muppets do you see what they reduce us to
yeah dancing around like little monkeys on strings it's saying so there's no such thing
as crisis muppets oh yeah there's never been any case of crisis muppets biden doesn't have
any kind of fucking brain problems at all okay there's never been crisis muppets. Biden doesn't have any kind of fucking brain problems at all. Okay. There's never been crisis Muppets as like children and their families in the
dozens.
Okay.
Cause the,
how do you know though,
without someone investigating,
how would you orchestrate something of that scale?
It's impossible.
Tell him God wants it.
No.
Cause all that happens is one family breaks And goes to the news
And they go
Listen I've been part of
Another school shooting
Massive cover up
Oh no
You would have to pay
Those people
Like several million dollars
A year for the rest
Of their lives
Oh wow
Where's the government
Going to find
Millions of dollars a year
But there's still nothing
Stopping
What if one of those
That would be a real trick
Can you imagine being
One of those kids
You grow up
And you go
Oh my god
I've been part of
A massive conspiracy my whole life.
And I've developed basic, you know, respect for the truth and want to expose what happened when I was a child.
What about that FBI guy, though?
And his brother was like busted on all that child porn and windows.
That's one guy like that.
You can be allowed to ask about that.
Yeah, I think that you could be rightfully suspicious am i gonna get sued by the fbi for 50 million dollars because i'm
asking i'm asking questions if the questions are reasonable and you're not a news guy if you were
like if you had a news website if i was selling alpha brain supplements with my shirt off and
then the other the after one it has me slapped my body way he makes money does not make it an illegitimate
news organization
and if it is
an illegitimate
news organization,
he should label it as such.
He should label it
as satire and parody.
How?
At the top of the,
somewhere in the about tab
it says,
InfoWars is a work of parody
and every,
uh,
honestly,
honestly,
I don't think it would ruin it
because what if you,
what if he just did that
but like you knew he didn't mean it? he then get away with it i was wondering that
if alice jones just said like it's all satire every show he ended it with just kidding just
kidding yeah i think honestly it would be legal at that point because if you got in trouble you
could go to the judge you go well it's satire satire. I said just kidding. I say it on every show. I say just kidding.
What are you?
At the end of every single news story, we go, and that was a good goof.
And then we move on to the next fake story.
I was wondering that watching the trial.
He could keep doing what he's doing, yeah.
The lawyer is like, are you aware that I just caught you in a lie?
And then the judge looks at him.
I'm like, what are you looking at him for?
That's not a real question.
I think it would be very smart if you wanted to be one of these conspiracy theory guys to shield yourself from legal troubles by just go yeah just joking just joking kovid was
a hoax kovid was choking in minecraft and then you wink and you move on and you go well we're
just goofing uh i think that fits the letter of the law.
Steven Avery making a murder.
That guy was kangaroo courted big time.
You haven't even finished the documentary.
I have seen that.
I saw that like first.
Oh, I thought you meant the one we were just watching.
No.
What's that one called?
The one we were just watching?
Yeah.
The most hated man in the internet.
Yeah.
No kangaroo court there.
All the George Floyd cop trials, kangaroo court.
Well, I am very upset that the other officers, No kangaroo court there All the George Floyd cop trials Kangaroo court Well Kangaroo court
I am very upset
That the other officers
Other than Chauvin
Got
I think some of them
Got jail sentences
Which to me
Seems ridiculous
Dred Scott
Some sort of a slavery
Some sort of a slavery
Can we make that a t-shirt?
Some sort of a slavery
Kangaroo court
Kangaroo court They said Yeah Black of a slavery. Kangaroo court. Kangaroo court.
They said, yeah, black people
can be slaves. Kangaroo court?
I don't know if that is,
but actually, I think we're like getting
the terms, but isn't it kangaroo court? Like if
court's like crazy and out of control?
No, that's captain kangaroo court
that you're thinking of. Captain kangaroo court.
So, you think
that these are just
Ridiculous trials
Yeah
Put on
For spectacle
How about all the
How about all the title nine
Sexual
Harassment
Me too courts
That happen in universities
Where some bitch
Can say anything
Yeah put out
And regretted it
And then went in and said
This guy fucking raped me
I've been carrying this mattress around
on my back
for two years
there you go
that's kangaroo court
you got no
civil rights
and the judge goes
well
presumption of innocence
bitch
she wouldn't be
carrying the mattress
if she didn't get raped
so clearly
what kind of a dumb bitch
would carry a mattress around
and all the guys
are like
I'm not gonna say anything
about that
the right to hear
a full and detailed
statement of the charges
filed against the accused
How about that
Kangaroo court
We're all living
In a kangaroo court
I think there's a variety
Of kangaroo courts
I think Alex Jones
Overstepped his bounds
As a journalist
And a comedian
And fairly
Well if he was a comedian
He needs to say it
He can't just
What does he need to say
He needs to say
That this is all fabrication
That these stories Should not be taken seriously.
And that clearly.
But what about the gay frog stuff turned out to be true?
None of it.
He publishes this.
Like with that David Hogg kid.
They publish these articles where instead of calling them crisis.
That guy turned out to be fake.
Just kidding.
I hate this show sometimes.
Just kidding.
They publish these stupid articles and they go, well, we're not saying he's a crisis Muppet, Just kidding. I hate this show sometimes. Just kidding.
They publish these stupid articles and they go, well, we're not saying he's a crisis muppet,
but why was he on the news two years ago unless he was being coached by his FBI handlers?
That's a good question.
No, it isn't.
I've been on the news for all sorts of shit.
Are you not?
Like, you know, like you'll be walking down the street and they'll go, how do you feel about that Applebee's closing?
And you go, you know, that sucks or whatever. down the street and they'll go, how do you feel about that Applebee's closing?
And you go, you know, that sucks or whatever.
I guess that's not really a normal news story. I miss my kids.
Not yet.
This isn't it.
Not yet.
Okay.
I'll wait.
Anyway.
There's so many lies that come at us all the time.
It behooves us to question everything.
to question everything.
I think journalists have a responsibility to,
if they don't have the facts,
to not spread rumors and falsehoods.
Responsibility, okay.
But illegal,
getting sued for it and shit.
A little bit.
So it's a little bit of
king of the court.
How do you feel about that
Nicholas Sandman suing
all the papers that said
he was berating that
poor Native American gentleman?
I think it's funny.
That's not an answer.
You can't just always go, yeah, but it's funny.
That's your justification for everything.
It was funny.
They sued them.
Okay, so as long as it's funny, you're okay with gang records.
What do they call him, a racist, a white supremacist?
Yeah, they say he's a racist and a MAGA, you know.
What did Alex Jones say?
These people, they were crisis actors?
Pretty much.
I don't think that's, like, people, they were crisis actors? Pretty much.
I don't think that's damaging, though.
Say you're a racist. It's clearly damaging
because you can't call someone a pedophile.
That's illegal.
You get sued.
It's damaging in the emotional distress way
where they had a bunch of people
calling their houses and harassing them
and whatever else.
But that would mean Maddox could sue me.
Maddox could sue me
for all the people doing fucked up stuff. But you didn't lie about Maddox could sue me Maddox could sue me For all the people doing fucked up stuff
But you didn't lie about Maddox
That's
According to you
No one actually knows
If I've made all that shit up
He did sue you
So he can
Yes
Obviously he can sue you
I had a proper court
With the Honorable Judge Ramos
Not kangaroo court
With some liberal bitch with dyed hair
Taking COVID selfies
On Instagram
Just champing at the bit
At her horse bit
To lay into Alex Jones
That's the difference
I had a fair judge
He has a certain responsibility
If you're gonna report the news
Okay
That you can't just have people
Come on and say
Certain people are certain things
You know
What about how you said Eric July was not a good comic writer?
That's an opinion.
That's opinion based.
So is their crisis actors!
That's not an opinion!
That's literally an accusation!
He doesn't know!
He didn't hire them!
He's talking about the globalists, the interdimensional vampires and pedophiles.
The point is that you can't be reckless i can't go on
i can't go and like pick somebody yeah you know like who would be a good example like i don't
know like a justin bieber and go he's a pedophile he he rapes kids oh that's because then that's
libel or slander okay and he can sue me if for some reason what I'm saying got around.
Like, oh yeah, I know and whatever else.
How come Larry Flynn could say Jerry Falwell, the first time he had Campari,
was when he fucked his mother in his shed when he was a little boy?
Wasn't that a joke ad?
Because it was a joke.
Because it's satire.
It didn't say it.
It's a joke.
But you could tell it's a joke because why would a Christian,
why would he do a Campari ad?
It's not a real Campari ad.
Why would there be crisis actors?
The point is that anyone reading Hustler would understand that a Christian minister is not going to do an ad for liquor talking about the first time he fucks his mother.
Okay.
Satire doesn't have to explicitly label itself as satire.
I thought you were A free speech absolutist
I am a free speech absolutist
Apparently not
Free speech absolutism
Means the government
Cannot
Means you can do
Whatever you want
No that's not what it means
Okay
The Nuremberg trials
Kangaroo court
Can we just move on
What are you talking about
The Nuremberg trials
For the love of god
Where they put all the
Nazis in jail
Yeah that was a kangaroo court
No Why did they even have it They were gonna kill them either way what was the point of the court
they didn't kill all of them some of them uh got different sentences albert spear got away he was
the good nazi you know that guy the architect how about dick cheney who lied about uh weapons of
mass destruction iraq killed a million people yeah but he didn't do it as a journalist so
Weapons of Mass Destruction Iraq killed a million people.
Yeah, but he didn't do it as a journalist.
All the journalists that lied on his behalf.
Well, if they had...
If they're going off information that they have... If Alex Jones had a third-party source...
Yeah.
...that he could point at, he might have...
Then he got in trouble for not having his own videos.
A bit of a shield.
YouTube deleted him.
He's like, I don't have any ability to defend myself.
You guys fucking deleted all my shit. Oh, he doesn't have any ability to defend myself. You guys fucking deleted
all my shit.
Oh, he doesn't have
his own archives?
No.
That's crazy.
I'm surprised he didn't
start archiving that stuff
when he knew
he was in trouble.
No one knew
that this was possible.
Okay.
This is kangaroo court.
So news organizations
like CNN
should be held responsible
for that Nicholas Sandman kid
and calling him a racist.
But Alex Jones,
because it's fun and funny,
can say that the suffering parents
of dead children
are secret FBI agents.
Suffering, laughing also.
And open them up for harassment
from his family.
Open them up from harassment?
Yes, that is a thing.
Nicholas Sandman, I'm sure,
is doing the same thing,
that he got harassed
and there are emotional damages
caught up in his shit.
Shut the fuck up okay well a
lot of people think that that kid should take every news organization of the cleaners it's the
same yeah but it's an organization it's not like a guy it's an organization they have multiple
people working for them that guy makes millions of dollars a year selling alpha brain all right
it is we know some of the people who work for him It's an organization
It acts as an organization. He's got camera guys. He's got writers. Mm-hmm
It's like the muppet show though, just because it's a low-level organization doesn't mean they have that's what I hate
I hate that everyone is like I hate the mainstream media
They don't play by the rules and then alex jones goes by the way
Here's a bunch of shit. I made up and you're like that guy's a rebel. He's on the edge
What do you want?
Do you want like real, do you like fake news or not?
Make up your mind.
Because if you like fake news from Alex.
Yeah, but most of the time he's right about.
No, he's not right most of the time.
I hate that argument.
Because Alex Jones will say like a million things about Martian pedophiles.
And then like one of his things comes true.
Gay frogs was true
but he knew
that was true
because he
yes that was based
on a study
he had already read
he didn't predict
gay frogs
he read an article
about gay frogs
and then reported on it
that's a good reporting
that's fine
because yeah
that was telling the truth
I was fine
he didn't predict it though
he didn't like
come up with that
out of nowhere
I was fine with
all the lying about Iraq
like alright whatever
You guys are all liars
We gotta bomb them and get their oil anyway
Figure out an excuse
Didn't even get
That was the worst part
We didn't take the oil
But then they gotta go after my boy
Well that's not fair
Fuck you guys then
Go after them
I'm sorry that your boy
Kangaroo court
Has been subjected to this kangaroo court
Yeah
Which I think
Happens to a lot of people
Made a correct decision
Mostly men
He didn't even get fined that much
You know what they
They're basically telling him
Hey
You gotta do a little better Alex
I'm gonna buy
It's a good lesson for him
So much
50%
Just so you know
Everyone knows
10% of the proceeds of this show
Are going to Alpha Brain Supplement
No no
No no
You're out of your cut maybe
Out of both of our
No no
10% right off the top
Goes to supplements
Gross
Gross
For the studio
He's got his own
Alpha Viagra now
I forget the
I should have got the name
I don't know if I'm ready
For that type of Viagra
I know
I want to be
Last long
Like good old Alex
Well Dick
That's my problem
That's your problem
What a problem
It's a very popular problem
But it probably won't rival
Our show's
Most popular problem
It's currently sitting
On the top of the leaderboards
Is woke marketing
Wow
Still at the top
Can you believe it
That was your first problem
That you brought in.
I think it was one of my first problems
and it's still a top problem.
Well, I have a problem
that is, I think, almost as good,
if not worse.
Oh.
That problem, Dick,
is anti-woke marketing
because I finally figured it out.
You finally figured out out. Finally figured out
why you hate Eric July.
Why I'm so upset
with a certain group
of comic creators
and whatever else.
Okay.
Now I've been
hanging out on Facebook.
I've been getting these ads
for the new Gina Carano movie
Terror on the Prairie.
I'm excited for that.
A cowboy movie
starring Gina Carano.
And the Facebook ads
don't tell me
well it's a exciting cowboy fun time.
It's got great action, great stunts.
Here's what the Daily Wire tells me.
Disney fired her for not conforming to their woke standards.
We signed her on for a movie.
Gina Carano is back in Terror on the Prairie.
And there's Jeremy's Razors. are you aware of jeremy's razors
like the quartering no no it's a different oh no i saw that guy i think it's also a daily wire guy
where i think harry's razors did something jerry's woke oh jerry's has like cool like uh to keep your
politics out of my face oh well facial hair yeah stop giving your money to woke corporations that
hate you says jeremy's razors give it to me instead and they have such taglines as our
shave kit identifies as the best kit ever made yeah shave your beard ma'am
that's cool that's a cool Oh, that's a good one.
Tuck your dick in, lady.
Wah, wah.
By Jerry's Razors.
Then there's a certain comic creator who's really found a great marketing strategy.
Just gotta shave your beard before you go hang out with the kids that you're grooming.
This, yeah, what do you call it?
This beer isn't for pedophiles.
I'm sure we'll have that soon enough.
Here's a comic book creator who says,
leftist comic book fans are in full-blown meltdown over the success of my comic universe.
These people reveal who they are with every disingenuous excuse they come up with,
and they still won't stop us.
Hashtag we will win.
Here's why I'm going nuts, Dink.
Because you're jealous. No no this is woke marketing it's the exact same fucking thing it's taking a product that has no politics attached to it really
razors yeah and like a cowboy movie and fucking comic books and going yeah but if you buy it you're gonna you know play
a part in destroying woke of course it's the same as buy skittles and it'll help gay people somehow
it's the same thing and i realize that's why i'm going nuts is that everybody understands
that woke marketing is fucking stupid right yeah like when we have the pride month and everybody
goes oh we're gonna change our logo it's all but we all know that's stupid stupid but somebody goes
buy my coffee now the right to win the uh culture war buy my coffee on behalf of god emperor trump
buy this coffee if you don't like dicks up your ass yeah if you're not a complete
pussy and everybody goes, yeah!
And they start clapping and cheering, and they're like, we will win.
We're going to destroy those motherfuckers with our shit.
This is, it's the exact same shit.
I don't want products to be associated with politics.
If you have a good product, sell me a good product.
I don't drink soda because I think i'm gonna win an imaginary war in
favor of or against any particular political cause i just want a soda that tastes good i would drink
like a no like a no brand soda no fat chick soda that's there that's a little different sign me up
that's fun that's funny i was just looking for me there's a bunch of. Sign me up. That's fun. That's funny. I was just looking through. Not for me. There's a bunch of these fucking, have you ever heard of Patriot Mobile?
Even your mobile phone service, Patriot Mobile is America's only Christian conservative wireless
service provider.
You can talk directly to God.
Yeah.
I think there's one of the guys and it turned out their cell phones were all sold from China
and had a bunch of spyware on them.
Yeah.
Just sell me things.
Tell me how good the...
I don't want to know that my phone is helping Jesus.
I want to know how much coverage I get,
how much it costs.
Yeah.
And I just want consumers to also care about that,
but they don't.
They don't care about that, though.
Well, but look, if you're buying...
If you're going to buy coffee anyway,
you might as well buy it from your political side.
Or just buy Folgers, which probably doesn't...
Do they do a bunch of gay shit?
Everybody should stop doing it.
Well, it's probably all white labeled by one company.
Stop picking a side.
Don't say from your side.
There is no sides in this.
Okay?
If there was an end to Federal Reserve toothpaste, I would buy it.
That's the problem.
You're the problem.
Why is it the problem though?
I got to buy some kind of toothpaste.
I know you got to buy some,
but both sides should just stop.
Just sell toothpaste.
And you as the consumer
should reject
anybody who tries to pander
to your bullshit.
It's great when we call out
fucking Chipotle
and we go,
listen,
stop with the homosexual
burrito fun time month. Just sell
me a burrito, okay?
Knock it off. And we should do
the same to both sides.
To go, just make your thing,
sell it based on its merits.
I hate marketing in general.
Yeah, but... Oh, God. This is taking me back.
Yeah, but that doesn't
make me look good in front of my friends.
Like, if my friends come over and they see that I have in the Federal Reserve toothpaste,
they're going to be like, damn, that's hot.
What are you?
Where'd you even get this toothpaste? Black Rifle Coffee.
Do you use Truth Social and Gab?
Nice sign up for Truth.
The anti-woke social media networks.
Gab's a little too...
That guy will not shut up about the Jews.
I still get Gab emails for some reason.
He goes, I think the Jews stuff is funny. I don't think
the Christ stuff is funny.
Like, I get
it. I get why the Jews killed
Jesus. If Jesus was as like
these guys are about Jesus,
I get it. I'm like,
I would have killed that guy, too. I'm worried that the audience
is going to vote this problem down, which
would destroy my life because... Now they're definitely going to do it.
That's the thing is like,
I implore you to understand,
you know,
woke marketing is the stupidest,
most pandering moronic bullshit.
But then a guy shows up and he goes,
I'm going to sell you a fucking,
uh,
oil canister that knows how to fucking
fuck its wife and doesn't touch
gay people and whatever. And you're like, yeah,
yeah, let's do it. I'm on top of it.
Let's do it. I'm gonna sell you
fucking... This is my no gay soap. If you
try to put it on your asshole, it'll jump right...
You can't even do it. This is my kill all the
trans popcorn. You can't even beat off with this soap.
If you hate trans people, you're gonna love
this popcorn. You can't say that word. Well, it's a caricature of a gentleman.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Papa John.
Papa John.
Exactly.
There probably are.
Yeah, what pizza can I get?
If Papa John started a new fucking pizza place that was called-
Own the Libs Pizza?
No, yeah.
Own the Libs No Blacks Pizza.
A bunch of people would go-
Not no blacks.
Well, whatever.
Yeah, sure.
Own the Libs Pizza.
Not like, you know know the ones that are
right wing if it was no groomers pizza just kidding no groomers allowed yeah no groomers
pizza pie what about a dog grooming no groomers dog grooming groomers dog grooming but probably
do pretty well and that's the problem you understand that it's just a marketing trick
yeah but they like it they like it but they shouldn't like it it's the a marketing trick. Yeah, but they like it. They like it. But they shouldn't like it.
It's the same as going,
oh my God,
I can't believe that McDonald's
made me a K-Hail burger.
Oh my God.
Burger King has a new LGBT chicken patty.
What do you buy?
I buy Diet Coke.
I don't know.
They don't advertise anything.
You don't buy anything?
Some company was like,
oh, we give a lot of money
to like getting Q-tips for cats. That's our charity. That's why I buy Q Some company was like Oh we give a lot of money To like Share Like getting Q-tips for cats
That's our
Cherry
That's why I buy Q-tips
Because they're very pro
Molesting cats
What if it was like that though
Yes you're forced to buy
Products in society
And you're not always
Going to agree
I don't buy Ben and Jerry's though
I never buy Ben and Jerry's
Why
Because their marketing
Is so fucking odious to me
But I go
I can just buy ice cream
that isn't constantly pandering to
like, we're donating 10% to
LGBT albino teens.
I'm like, you know what?
It's good ice cream now. We're not going to sell in
Jerusalem anymore because we support
Palestine. I'm like, I have no
time for this. I don't care if the ice cream's good.
I mean, all ice cream's good.
Yeah, but now you're falling for the anti-woke marketing.
You're right. I am kind of woke. You're not buying it
because of the advertising. No, no, I would be falling for it if another
ice cream company came out and they said,
we're called
Destroy Palestine Ice Cream.
Yeah, that's cool. And for every pint you buy,
we're going to fund a missile for the Iron
Dome. I would buy that.
You would buy that, and that's a problem.
It needs a good name though
yeah rocky roads in palestine palestinian crunch march madness because my children were killed by
the idf i just i i see people and they just buy into these marketing campaigns. They become like fervent mint chocolate massage.
If you're one of these guys who complains about consumers consuming,
but all a guy,
all a guy has to do is tell you we're going to own the fucking libs and you
immediately start buying their razors and comic books and coffee.
Then you are the ultra consumer.
You are the thing that you claim to hate.
Yeah.
Just identify products that are quality and buy them based on their quality.
But how could you have like a quality toothpaste?
It's like just toothpaste.
Exactly.
Just coffee.
So just buy, same with Ben and Jerry's.
I just like ice cream.
I don't have to buy Ben and Jerry's ice cream.
And you know what?
If Ben and Jerry's had the tastiest ice cream,
I would buy it and ignore the politics and just be like,
they can do whatever they want to do.
Sorry.
I don't know.
Anti-woke marketing.
Anti-woke marketing.
Okay.
It's the same problem.
I'm glad that you finally found a way to defend you.
It should theoretically be problem number two,
based on how much the audience hates woke marketing.
It should be.
It's equally bad.
It's less prevalent
but it's going to keep growing
unless we reject it now and
say listen because you know what? It's fun.
It used to be like a couple companies
would do like pride month shit and we didn't
say this is stupid.
Stop quick enough.
So they kept doing it.
Some people did.
Not enough.
Everybody needs to reject this early on.
Or literally 10 years from now, it's just going to be like, get your no F slurs coffee
here.
And then across the street is going to be the gay coffee place.
And then like, they're just going to be shaking their-
Gay Starbucks. Wacking their dick around. And everyone's going gonna be shaking their starbucks yeah gay starbucks
shaking their arms across the street i don't know can we just leave tribalism out of bullshit like
razor blades why it's fun no it isn't it is fun that's what woke that's why woke marketing sucks
it's dragging tribalism into commodities and it needs to stop. Why? Because it sucks because it's annoying. Because you think the politics is like
actually important.
Like you think like actually gay rights
are important beyond their marketing. I think gay rights
are important and should not
be co-opted to sell bullshit.
Oh. I got bad news for
you. I know. They all do it.
But we want them to stop and they might stop
if we keep making fun of them. Who's we? Everybody.
The gay people don't want This shit to stop
They're selling fucking
I think Trixie the Golden Witch
Was trying to tell me
Like I'm all excited
When there's like
Trans Kit Kats and shit
And I was like
Fucking why
What does that do for you
It's cool
It's just something
On the Kit Kat
I don't get it
It's 50
What is the problem
It's 50
What is it
Extra costing you
It's not
So is Wolf Burger good
Do you like that too
I liked those burgers
The gay Burger King burgers Which was two butts and then the
two tops.
That's funny.
That was funny.
I hate all of it.
I reject all of it.
I hate it.
Sometimes the complaining about it is more annoying.
When people are like, well, in Saudi Arabia, they're not like, yeah, yeah, because Saudi
Arabia was like, kills gay people.
It's only exhausting because we have to keep, because we've been saying it for years and
they keep doing it but it's still a valid critique to be like yeah you care about gay
people but then you know yeah saudi arabia uh microsoft doesn't change to their pride flag
whatever because they only care about gay people as a marketing tactic i want kill the blank soda
in the same way that do you really think the guy selling razors is like,
this is going to destroy wokeism?
Or is he thinking,
I'm going to sell a shit ton of razors
to dumb fuck morons
who think this is a valuable volley in the culture war?
I think that you can...
I think it's a grift.
I think that you can make it like,
cool, you can make it like cool.
You can push your agenda by making it cool to be a part of it.
You know, like, look at all this fucking comics that we're doing. If you're a starting in comics, don't you want to play ball and jump on our side and talk about anti-woke shit and be part of it?
And then it grows and grows and grows from there artificially, right?
Like, I think there's merit to that.
Yeah, it's a trick.
It's a trick for soft-brained idiots who just want to be a part of a political movement
while pretending that, like, their side makes all the quality.
Do you think Terror on the Prairie is a great fucking cowboy movie?
No, it's a piece of shit.
It's a woman in the lead.
It's a lady cowboy movie.
I have zero interest in it
When I watch Alien
That bitch can't even act
Xena
Oh wait no
That's not
That's a different
Lady isn't it
That's Lucy Lawless
Gina Carano played the
Star Wars lady
Oh god
Cara Dune on the Mandalorian
Okay here's my problem
Yeah
This is
This is a documentary by HBO called We Met in Virtual Reality.
Okay.
It's about people who meet on VR chat.
Oh, that's not working.
Let's see here.
Maybe we could do that one.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I probably can't even play the sound.
No, you probably should.
It's a trailer.
They're usually good about trailers.
What gets him up out of bed in the morning?
So this is like living in VR chat filmed entirely in virtual reality.
See that?
A sign language.
A sign language.
Hand rested under elbow.
And we're going to go like this.
Look at that.
Slow.
Quick, quick. Slow. hand rested under elbow and we're gonna go like this look at that quick quick slow if i had confidence that i could teach dance as a living in vr i
feto they're like pretending to dance yeah as these retarded looking video game characters
it all looks like well are they theoretically dancing because they have the hand things and
the headset yeah but look at it how do you control the legs? It's got like a little camera.
It's like a joystick or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kind of. They're learning sign language,
Dick. Isn't that useful?
No! No! Anytime
a woman has ever said
she's learning a language, she's
thinking about fucking guys.
There's no woman has ever
learned a language, including English
her first language.
This is a strange tangent.
Because they love set- they love set- you know what, I think I'm gonna learn...
I don't learn French.
Is there more to this trailer or should we swap the camera bank?
Here.
Totally would do exactly that.
With a long distance relationship-
It's hard to be in a long distance relationship. Yeah, so we go into our, we go on our computer goggles
and we pretend to be
fucking pixels from,
we pretend to be
fucking 12 polygon pixels.
They're all beautiful
anime children.
They're not.
They look like shit.
I guarantee that guy's
like 250 pounds
in real life.
Fucking Virtua Fighter 1.
It looks like crap.
It looks like fucking crap.
Well, it has to look like crap, right?
No, it doesn't.
They should not,
this should not exist. It looks like shit. And look, they're all like, oh yeah, it has to look like crap, right? No, it doesn't! They should not... This should not exist!
It looks like shit!
And look, they're all like,
oh, yeah, and so...
Look at how fucking...
Look at how crazy we can really...
It's a game changer.
We can customize what we look like.
You look like shit!
Well, it could look like...
You look like shit!
You look like shit!
Sir, are you saying...
You look like crap!
There's fucking Kermits going around like...
That's good, though. I like that. It looks like shit! It looks like crap! There's fucking Kermits going around like That's good though, I like that
It looks like shit!
It looks like crap!
Your problem is not virtual reality, it's the specific virtual reality program that everyone's using
It all looks like this, it all looks like shit, all of it
The metaverse, VR chat looks like, look at this, looks like crap
It looks like fucking crap.
We are 5,000 miles apart.
It's for the bandwidth, you know?
But we're going to try our best.
What the fuck is this?
It's a guy with a sombrero in his head.
A devil sombrero?
That's kind of cool.
This weird bitch with pixely tits who's probably fatter than a house in real life.
Well, yeah, obviously, but her tits are hanging out.
That's cool.
No, it That's cool.
No, it's not cool.
It could just be a porno magazine you're looking at, but instead you're looking at whatever the fuck this is.
Yeah, but I can grab her virtual titties and then get banned.
No, you can't.
You can go like, boop, you can press S and it's like, boop, boop, boop.
Then your guy goes like this and then there's fucking 20,000 other guys sitting there going
like, oh, wow, what a fucking cool experience we're having in VR.
I'm excited for
Reality is virtual the poignancy
Real in VR and the VR community. It was vies from Skies of Arcadia
Look at this shit. This is exactly I'm'm talking about. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap,
crap, crap, crap, crap. A guy with a box for a fucking head and no shirt.
That guy is just an arcade machine just walking around.
A fucking pong arcade machine.
This bitch with these little fucking things.
Elton John over here.
Crap. It's all crap.
You can be whatever you want.
It's fun. You can't be
anything that you want. Nobody wants to be any of this crap.
It all looks like shit.
I don't know, man.
They're all just gliding around.
They're celebrating New Year's Eve in virtual reality.
Oh, here we go.
Countdown to the ball.
Makes me want to buy one of those headsets.
I have one.
I don't have this app, though.
I downloaded the app.
You can use the app Without the headset
But it's less
Also they apparently
Are banning all mods
So all this shit
You're seeing
Is going away
What do you mean
Going away
Like you can't make
They're getting rid of
All the ability to make
Like import your own
Models and skins
And shit
So VRChat is
Completely shutting down
It's like
As far as I understand
Shutting down their modding community
So all these things you're complaining about
Are not going to be
So what's it going to be, just garbage?
It's just going to be like default avatars
Oh great, and they'll love it
I think they were worried about, you know, because everybody just makes copyrighted characters
So it's literally just like Buzz Lightyear
Hanging out with some intellectual motherfucker
Vote it up
Vote it up That's property. Vote it up. Vote it up.
You've got to vote.
That's a good vote it up.
At biggestrobloom.show.
Hey, vote it up.
If you don't vote,
there'll be no show.
So vote it up, vote it up,
vote it up, vote it up.
Let's watch the rest of this shit.
Oh, wow, it's a fucking dinosaur Did you see that
You can be everyone you always wanted to be
A pixely piece of shit with 29 polygons
Fucking wiggling around
So if the technology was better
That's what you want
I mean it would be something
Yeah
Well I am
Confused as to why
There's not like a
Good VR porn
It seems like obvious
That there should be like a big
Virtual reality sex chat room thing
Oh you wanna see these guys bang?
Well I just think the first person to make it
Is gonna make a bunch of money
Press Q
Alright I'm gonna press
Fucking space bar
Did you ever play
Second life
No
People just go on there
To have crazy weird sex
With virtual characters
With these stick men
It's like a bunch of
Fucking stick men
It might as well be stick men
It's a little better
Than stick men
It's not
It's not any better
Than stick men
After this show
We gotta watch a VR chat
I'll go on as Mohammed
Can I be
Yeah well the VR chat Honestly the best part Of the best part of vr chat is honestly that it's
fucking funny some of the shit they put together for instance i was telling you last week it looks
like crap there's a guy who has a 3d banana costume when he goes around as a talking banana
and it's very fascinating but here's the thing
it's actually really really funny oh i believe you and i feel like other talking bananas should
take a look at the possibilities of vr chat okay there's not much more of this shit all right and
you can in a way start over we can come together and support each other, they're sign languaging to me. I really want them to know that they're loved.
Aww.
They're friends.
I've seen Kevin's IRL body.
Sounds funny.
It's a bunch of furries
hanging out with a hot dog and a gizmo
and a hot dog talking about
the last time they seen their
body. Don't the furries deserve
a safe space stick that's
not what that is what is it it's like limbo it's like the first ring of hell i think it could get
better i mean what if it gets really good if i died and woke up in that world i would think
fuck yeah i'm died and gone to limbo i fucking. Fucking knew it. You just got to hang out with furries and talk about what anime they watched that weekend.
Whatever.
Honestly, if the human experience was reduced solely
to our intellectual connectivity,
that would be, for me, the first layer of hell.
I think I'd have a good amount of time.
You know, they got a complete...
You're proving my point.
VRChat, they have a one-to-one replica of a Kmart,
and you can just walk around a virtual Kmart
and fuck around, like, drive a little car and...
Yeah, it's funny.
I see these VRChat videos, and I'm like,
shit, I kind of want to make some of this stuff
because it's hilarious.
Give it a shot.
I want to get, like, some comedians,
and we all make weird VRChat, like, avatars, and we just walk around and film it. Okay. Give it a shot. I want to get like some comedians and we all make weird VR chat
like avatars
and we just walk around
and film it.
Okay.
Can you film it in there?
Yeah, yeah.
You just like,
if we're all like
screenshotting our...
I'm going to get
shit-faced in VR.
Dude, if we just make
weird avatars
and walk around
and like make jokes
it would be fucking hilarious
I think.
I'm going to make
an avatar of you
and I'll be Vito.
There's a video...
I hate this marketing
that's going on over here.
I mean, you could make an avatar of me and it would be reallyito. There's a video. I hate this marketing that's going on over here. I mean,
you could make an avatar of me
and it would be really offensive.
And then you could keep,
anytime you see a cat girl,
you can go,
eee!
Alright, go ahead.
What's your problem?
My problem, Dick,
is algorithmic merchandise.
Okay.
Have you seen this happening?
Now,
here's my experience with this.
I was looking up
the Nintendo game,
Scoon. S-Q-O-O-N. Well, that's what I said. I had never heard of it before happening now here's my experience with this i was looking up the nintendo game scoon sq oon
well that's what i said i had never heard of it before and i saw a picture of it i'm like what's
scoon so i looked it up it's like a little submarine game and uh i was like all right well
that's kind of cool and about a week later i started getting these advertisements for t-shirts
that say hey i'm a scoon kind of guy don't talk to me before i've had my scoon yeah
and i'm like yeah what the fuck is going on here exactly and that what it turns out is that there
this is algorithmic merchandise okay where these guys just take keywords or your search history or
whatever plug it into a template and it makes stupid little t-shirts
and mugs and bullshit
that are based on your personal beliefs.
For instance, a t-shirt that says,
never underestimate a mother
who listens to Iron Maiden
and was born in August.
Jesus Christ.
And it tricks people into thinking
that they've stumbled across it by accident they go oh my god
i was iron maiden i was born in august this t-shirt was made just for me it literally was
those people don't deserve to have any money yeah they don't understand that it was generated
based on their likes or just generated at random yeah now uh there's a guy michael fowler who kind
of got a lot of this started where he realized he could just set up a bunch of word banks of like random nouns and verbs and adjectives and populate Amazon's marketplace with literally hundreds of thousands of shirts.
The only problem is when you do that, it sometimes gets out of hand.
For instance, you've seen the keep calm and carry on slogan from the British.
Yeah, it's been on a lot of t-shirts and stuff.
And there's obviously takes on that.
Well, here's what his algorithm started coming up with.
And people were mad.
We have a keep calm and rape a lot.
That's okay.
Keep calm and knife her.
Keep calm and rape them.
Keep calm and hit her.
And then people started going to Amazon.
And they're like, the point is that there's literally just hundreds of thousands of these shirts
randomly been generated they mean nothing they're pointless yeah and they're infiltrating your feed
they just look up what you like and they go i don't know he's kind of showing this fucking t-shirt
uh so this got them in a little bit of trouble.
And then there was also, I have another picture,
because it also applies to all kinds of merchandise.
Right there you see these phone cases that just randomly pull pictures off the internet. Here we have adult diaper worn by an old man with a crutch cell phone cover case.
That one actually has two reviews for some reason. Toenailutch cell phone cover case. That one actually has two reviews for some reason.
Toenail fungus cell phone cover case.
That's cool.
Why would you not want that?
You want that?
That randomly?
Yeah, the disabled boy in a medical stroller?
Oh, come on.
Happy cell phone cover case, Samsung S5.
That's hilarious.
Randomly generated merchandise byandise By algorithm and AI
Uh
Thrown up there
And uh
Why would you not like this?
Because it's ridiculous
A biracial
You didn't say
Three year old
Biracial
Disabled boy
In a medical stroller
Cause it's infiltrating
These markets
It's like
It used to be
You know
A t-shirt
Taking more of some of your money
Like you want to create
Well
Not just me
But like let's say
There's merchandise creators
Who are creating real
You know Products and whatever else And then people are just Buying ones that a Like you want to create. Not just me, but like, let's say there's merchandise creators are creating real, you know, products
and whatever else.
And then people are just buying ones that a shitty robot came up with.
And it's like robots outselling you.
I'm a bisexual disabled veteran who loves playing Mario and leave my whiskey and my,
I don't know, Care Bear collection alone.
Yeah.
I was got like a picture of Yosemite Sam on there for no reason.
That's cool.
It's not cool.
Surrealism is so much better.
Yeah.
Than realism, than satire.
See, we grew up on satire.
Yes.
So we're prejudiced toward it.
But surrealism is the way to go.
You think these t-shirts
Are these merchandise
Rubbered in surrealism
What could be more surreal
Than a robot
Creating merch
Based on nothing
Based on your
Toe fungus
Surgery
You think
An artist
And satirist
Would ever come up
With three year old
Biracial disabled boy
In a medical
Wheelchair
You're searching for
Wheelchairs
For your disabled son
Like oh maybe
You want a cell phone case With a picture of a retarded kid in a wheelchair
on it.
I do, actually.
Actually, yeah, that does.
Wouldn't you?
Cool.
And then you see people, sometimes you see people wearing those t-shirts and you go,
oh, you got caught, huh?
It's better than that.
Like, remember when, okay, so this was horrible.
Remember when everyone wanted those gas station shirts with, like, the wolves?
Like, the airbrushed wolves?
Oh, yeah, the wolf shirts.
And then those were hugely popular, and I was like, eh.
I still think that's fun.
I think it was a fun little trend.
Because you're addicted to...
You're addicted to satire.
Satire and sarcasm.
Yeah.
This...
It's cool because it's not cool.
It's cool because it's...
It doesn't even approach cool.
This is cool.
It's a random computer created this. It's fucking random and meaningless. It doesn't have to be anything. It's cool because it's it doesn't even approach cool. It's a random computer
created this.
It's just fucking random
and meaningless.
It doesn't have to be anything.
It just exists.
It doesn't need to
explain anything to you.
Keep calm and rape her, Dick.
That's an exciting t-shirt.
That's fun.
Yeah, that's funny.
Is that a robot?
You wouldn't find that
at a gas station, Grandpa.
Probably not.
I don't want to wear that
out in public.
You don't have to.
Go buy your fucking whatever.
I already told you.
Ironic jokes.
Every time I wear Mr. Girl's t-shirt that has him pointing a gun at the viewer and it
says take off your panties, I get the worst looks.
I'm like, why did you put that on the fucking shirt?
He goes, yeah, probably.
Why did you buy it?
Because I wanted to buy Mr. Girl merchandise and I didn't think about it that much.
I think he might take that off on future printings.
Regardless.
Just send him a case of
lollipops you don't need to buy his merch if you want to support him that's true i could just send
a cat girl to his cat boy cat girl yeah uh anyway the point is i think people are being tricked
into purchasing this lame ai generated merchandise based on their stuff. It's crowding up my ad feed.
I mean, it's like you with those ads for, what do you call it?
The fucking cell phone games, but they're never the right ones.
Well, if I saw an ad for a Tony Lefunga's phone.
You'd think it was funny.
And I wanted to buy it.
I would get it.
Why would you want to buy it?
It's a waste of everybody's time.
It's like these stupid t-shirts That keep popping up in my feed
Because it's funny
You take it out of your thing
And chicks will be like
What the fuck is that?
I keep getting t-shirts
That are like
I'm a comedian in California
Who rapes cats
And I'm like
I don't want this
On a hoodie
Maybe on a mug
I would get one
But come on
With this stuff
I'm a comedian in California
Who rapes cats
Who rapes cats
Does that exist?
Who sits alone And plays a Nintendo Switch Oh I'm a comedian in California Who rapes cats Who rapes cats Does that exist?
Sits alone And plays a Nintendo Switch
Oh
Too much
You play Steam Deck
I got a Steam Deck now
Anyway
Wait is that that?
No that's a stream deck
That's a stream deck
What's Steam Deck?
Steam Deck's the new
Steam handheld
So you can put all your Steam games
But play it on like a little
Handheld computer
Computer
Oh
But it's got a screen
So it looks like a Nintendo Switch Is it heavy a screen so it looks like a nintendo switch
is it heavy yes damn it that's kind of the problem yeah but it is cool anyway dick my
problem is algorithmic merchandise i think it's uh silly i think it's no shit it's silly but
is this the future of products is that everything like it's not even gonna be you're gonna go to
the store products this is the future of art.
Do you think, do you think that you need a person to develop like the office or the most deadliest catch or something?
You just put up GoPros, a computer splices together an episode.
The funniest footage of you guys hanging out in the office.
Uh, yeah.
Or like a procedurally generated show.
Well, I'm worried about that.
Generate influencers
Like a computer
Very soon
A computer will create
An influencer
Using like an anime
Yeah
YouTuber thing
And they'll just
Say what you want to hear
Be all of YouTube
Like whatever you want
Whatever
And you know what that anime
Influencer is going to say
Subscribe to me
And destroy the LGBTs
Yes And The trans community Blah Yeah it's going to be subscribe to me and destroy the LGBTs and the trans community.
Yeah, it's going to be anti-woke.
And it'll be great.
This is all terrifying.
I'm terrified of that new tool
that makes AI-generated art.
Dolly.
All these artists are like,
I'm going to be out of a job
once this thing knows
what it's doing 100%.
Yeah, good, good.
Fucking get a real job.
I'm going to be using it because right now,
whenever I make YouTube videos,
I have to Photoshop a stupid thing.
I was thinking the other day, I'm like,
I spent a lot of time Photoshopping Michael Corleone's head
onto a little baby's body.
Oh, you just go to Jolly and go.
Yeah, I just go, Michael Corleone is a baby.
That's a good thing.
It'll definitely improve my workflow.
There you go.
But will it reduce the quality?
Will it be, lack that human touch?
You're putting it together.
I guess.
Somebody had to say, somebody had to make the joke.
It's going to be weird.
Nah, it's good.
All this.
All like thumbnails are going to be like that.
Like all sorts of things.
Stock images, like right now, people are talking about. Forget thumbnails. You're not going to have to pick what you watch that. Like all sorts of things. Stock images like right now people are talking about.
Forget thumbnails.
You're not going to have to pick what you watch anymore.
The computer will pick it.
Did you see what the art thing though?
I think you posted it where it was the art thing was being biased towards showing white people.
Opposite.
Dolly would insert female.
No, they changed it.
Oh, oh, oh. It used to be when you ran dolly it would mostly
give you like white people back and yeah because it learned from processing data yeah yeah and then
they said well now we can't do so now it randomly adds the word black or woman to your query without
telling you yeah because if you put in the query man man holding a sign that says, and leave it blank, then
the sign will say woman or black woman or black man, because it has stealthily inserted
that phrase into your query without telling you.
And it puts it at the end so you finish it off.
They should just say, yeah, whatever.
We didn't want him complaining about it.
Fuck you.
It works. You know exactly why we did it. Go didn't want him complaining about it. Fuck you. It works.
You know exactly why we did it.
Go fuck yourselves.
You do it too.
Fuck you.
Oh, no, you caught us.
Oh, God.
Too many white guys.
Oh, women don't get any kind of fucking boost at all.
Wow.
We fucking making them fucking computer art.
We didn't know that.
Jesus.
I did think it was pretty clever how the guy figured out how to figure out what it's adding to the query.
It was funny.
Man, a person holding a sign that says, and all the images would come back saying, black woman.
He goes, that's funny because I didn't put black woman, which means at some point it was inserted into my query.
I don't see a lot of signs that say black woman on there.
I thought that that sign just happens to say that.
It's almost as if I had put that in my search,
but I didn't.
Okay.
Algorithmic merchandise.
Well, that's my final problem, Dick.
And what a great show it's been.
You're like stuck in the Stone Age.
You just want like an elf shirt
that's as long as it's retarded,
as long as a human came up with it.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Like Pizza Time.
I love pizza.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles like whoa it's
so crazy a computer could come up with 10 million of that was a team's mean
these turtles but it could just say like fart slammer that's pretty good yeah out of pog see i would rather a guy draw that i want a guy to draw it you know like an artist
because i want humans to create things for humans humans created the algorithm the other day i was
at a drive-thru though and i was like i kind of wish there was just a restaurant that was run
entirely by robots because these people are morons so i think a robot would robots can make your tacos can make my tacos not my art
though robots would have given you your free potato soup okay what's your other what's your
other one maybe they wouldn't merge what's the algorithmic merchandise and anti-woke marketing
that's gonna get fucking devastated i, and that's the problem.
But that should reward you
because they should be at opposite ends.
If they're at opposite ends, that means this show's
audience
has lost their minds.
I'm trusting the audience to understand
that anti-woke marketing
is just as insidious and stupid
as woke marketing.
Nah, you gotta pull it back
it's got to be one it's got there's got to be enough of it to pull it back in your biases
abandon your uh desire to dunk on poor old veto and vote with your fucking heart people oh yeah
this audience is real susceptible to we're gonna say on your hearts do what do you think this is
the sandy hook trial if this problem goes negative no more kids were killed what am i problem to bring them back to life if my problem
gets 300 up just kidding if my problem gets 300 up votes my children will crawl out of the grave
anti-woke marketing goes negative no more stingers for the rest of the show there you
okay my problems were kangaroo courts joke vote vote how you want people kangaroo courts and uh vr chat vr
chat i'm gonna make you watch this vr all those chicks are fat all those chicks are fat i think
the vr chat video i want you to watch is called hanging with the boys listen you saw the the
succubus thing don't make this a women are fat problem women are fat we know this it has nothing
to do with vr but they don't those guys don't they know they know in their heart of hearts they know no it should say right on her head you
should have to register your weight with vr chat and it should display it should have a breath
meter she's breathing like this this was the last time this bitch went for a run 2003 2003 Oh 200
Dot dot dot
Don't even tell me
Never happened
I think
You shouldn't be allowed
To just
Like a cigarette
Can't say
This is healthy for you
It says this is
Gonna kill you
You shouldn't be able
To be that
A fat woman
Going to VR chat
I don't see the comparison
Cause it's worse
It's worse than
You know when you're
Smoking a cigarette That it's not healthy for you.
But you might get tricked into talking to a fat woman in a congenial manner.
Yes.
And that's worse.
Yes.
You could develop feelings for her and short circuit the fattetry.
That would be awful.
Short circuit the biological breakwater, whatever they call
Fail safes
Maybe some fat women are fun to talk to
That would be all they are
All they are is just fun to talk to
If, if, if
Alright
I'm gonna get a fat woman AI generated
Cell phone case and then I'll
Be covering all my bases
Oh my god, that would be great You want a fat woman on the back of your cell phone case and then i'll be covering all my bases oh my god that would be
great you want a fat woman on the back of your cell phone case yeah i think you should well guys
what a great show don't forget to vote it up at biggest problem that show you don't gotta do the
stinger every time and uh we got a new biggest problem uh we'll be doing a bonus episode soon
wait a minute where the fuck are all my voicemails That I don't know
You're gonna find them
That'll be coming of course
At patreon.com
Slash biggest problem
I gotta say guys
I know payment processes are a problem
But it's real fun at the beginning of the month
To see 200 Patreons
Not
Not
Pay us
For the
Nah whatever
What were you gonna say?
Say it
I was gonna say
It's just like
We go wow
We got like you know
this many Patreons
and then
or Patreons
at the very first
August 1st
it's like you lost
500 people
I'm like no
what happened
yeah
and they slowly come back
but it makes me feel
because of laziness
it makes me feel like
I've done something wrong
that I've insulted you
so
make sure to complete you if you
love the show we appreciate your support yeah uh i don't know where the fuck my i've got a ton of
fucking voicemails yes check your download history see what no i have them in my drop box like always
what the fuck there you go episode episode 51 oh maybe I put them in my show. You might have put them in the Dick Show folder.
All right, please stand by.
Stand by.
What else can you do with your time?
Well, don't forget to go to superkiller.org.
Sign up for the mailing list for my exciting comic book.
Closing in on 1,000 sign-ups.
Very excited about that.
Also in the comments, let me know if you would like
Biggest Problem Merchandise. There in the comments, let me know if you would like biggest problem merchandise has been
an argument with me and Dick.
I think you guys would like t-shirts.
Dick says t-shirts.
Not that print on demand shit though.
I think the print on demand stuff.
This is a print on demand shirt.
I can tell.
You can't tell.
It looks fine.
I don't think the fans would care either.
They should.
We're not going to sell them at like a super premium.
Yeah, you are because that's-
To make any profit on them?
Yeah, because they come out of the gate at like 26 bucks.
No, no.
So you're like, oh, 28 bucks for this?
I think you can sell them for like 25, 30 bucks and make a profit.
What if it's like rape?
What if we do like a-
Biggest problem in the universe is I raped your mom.
Like the AI merch. i don't think people would
wear that one it's funny though i think there's a lot of fun uh you know t-shirt ideas yeah yeah
beware the niggler that would be a good one i don't think you can wear that one either but it's
a good one okay i want one that's like a nazi, but instead of the swastika, it just says World War II.
Huh.
Maybe there's a way to arrange World War.
I haven't messed around with that.
How about that head haze thing with you and the cat?
That was a good one.
I don't think that would be a good shirt either.
What if that could be a poster?
You could have Vito.
It could be me next to a cat or cat ears or something.
I think we could have a fun shirt every month.
I think people would be into it.
Every month?
Yeah.
It could be like a shirt club and then like every month on Patreon.
A whole club?
Yeah.
You would sign up for a certain tier and then every month you get a biggest problem shirt.
That'd be fun.
How many of these fucking shirts?
Or a mug or stickers or whatever.
Stickers?
Steven Crowder does that mug thing
Doesn't he give everybody a mug
Steven Crowder's also gay
Okay
Well I don't know
How that has to do with anything
But he's got like millions of
Followers
Yeah so he can do it in bulk
We only have like a thousand
Which is why we just do
Print on demand shirts
They look good
I think they're comfy
Maybe some pins
We could do pins
Let me know in the comments
If you would like merchandise
Dick is like very down
On the idea of merchandise
Yeah cause it's gotta be
We gotta do stickers
That are me pointing
That you can put on the gas tank
On the gas station
Vito voted for this
This is Vito voted for this
Now that
Now you're talking
Yeah
Vito voted for this
Vito voted for this
Biggest problem
That show stickers
Okay
Here we go
Next time you're at that crosswalk, the person stops to wave you on.
You look at them.
You stare into their eyes.
Watch them stare back at you.
Watch the sweat bead on their forehead.
Watch them panic.
Yeah.
Look into that eye.
Look into their eyes.
Stare into the abyss.
Look at your phone so they move along because you're just dangerous.
There's no brain cells in that.
There's no brain cells in that.
Yeah, I know.
I got it.
These people have zero brain cells.
Some people were trying to argue with us, though, and saying, well, you have the right of way, so we're just obeying the law. And I'm like, I know. I got it. These people have zero brain cells. Some people were trying to argue with us, though, and saying,
well, you have the right of way, so we're just obeying the law.
And I'm like, nobody cares. Just go.
Just go.
It's faster.
Start fucking around.
Yeah.
How old and white are you guys that you keep calling it scissor?
He's talking about the white part, right?
It's called scissor.
Wait, wait wait i interrupted old
and white are you guys that you keep calling it scissor up it's called scissor and no skittles
nor iced tea are part of the ingredients well that was what dick claimed i didn't think that
was true right and promethazine There you go Codeine Something like that
Okay
Something like that
Oh I'm sure
Fucking
Skittles
The fuck are you talking about
Thank you
The syrup
Scissor
That was Dick
Dick said that
You never heard the song
Sipping on some scissor
I don't listen to hip hop
Fucking three six mafia
Sipping on some scissor
Scissor
They don't fucking say that
Put on my stirrups
Listening to Sizzurup
That's the song
See he said
When we said
He had iced tea and Skittles
You were like
Put on your stirrups
Drink that Sizzurup
Skittles
Iced tea
You said
Those were the ingredients
Like Mr. T
For Sizzurup
Are you feeling me
That's the song
Or whatever the fuck
Sizzurup
And I said are they
And you confidently said
Yeah
Yeah He's gonna mix it with Robitaille You don't fucking know Yes I do or whatever the fuck. Sazerup. And I said, are they? And you confidently said, yeah.
Yeah.
He's going to mix it with Robitaille.
You don't fucking know.
Yes, I do.
And you said the Skittles were like for just funsies.
No, you mix a candy with a drink and then you dump in cough syrup.
I mean, I think you could do that, but.
I know you can do that.
It's called fucking cough syrup.
It's called fucking S syrup. It's called fucking
Sizzurup. Why do you think you got the
fucking up in it, you shitwit?
Apparently it's called Sizzurup. Wait a minute. No, no, no.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. What was the end
of that? Hold on.
36 Mafia? Yeah.
Sizzurup? Yeah.
Don't fucking say that. What the fuck
is wrong with you? Hold on. What are you talking about?
Sizzurup? Sizzur. Something like that. What the fuck is wrong with you? Hold on. What are you talking about? Sizzurup?
Sizzur.
Something like that.
It has to be a hint of that.
It's usually Jolly Ranchers, Sprite, and Promethazine.
No, it's not fucking Promethazine.
It's fucking cough syrup.
That's why it's Sizzurup, you dick brain.
Yeah, but what's in the cough syrup?
Fucking illegal shit.
Codeine, whatever they fucking-
I thought it was codeine, yeah.
Diamond tap, whatever they have in it!
Fuck you.
I don't know anything about any of this.
It's nonsense.
Ugh.
Now I want some. S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s You say it with a Some white people say Zer But black people say Zer Zer
And Italians would go
Zer
Zer
Zer
All right, man
White people go
White people go
Zer
Thank you
Thank you for that bit
Thanks for your call
I'm absolutely shocked
I agree with Vito on something
The McRib does fucking suck
Terrible
And for anybody who wants to know
What it tastes like
Because I've had it once
It just tastes like basic pork
It
Unless you absolutely love the taste of pork
Yes everyone loves
It tastes like left over
Everyone loves the taste of pork
Pour it into a mold it's terrible
Okay here's one odd one
Hello
My name is Whiskers and I am a cat.
Hi, Whiskers.
And thanks to all the brave cats that have stepped out against, spoken out against Vito
and the Meow2 movement, it's time to speak my truth.
Meow2 moment!
I get it.
I get it.
I'm going to go into a dumpster for another meal.
When in came the alley, a large man with a short beard and a Pokemon hat
then hey kitty kitty catch him all what do you mean for some milk okay what are
you ash catch him fan fiction now halfway into it I realize that you than
real woozy and starting to black out and not remember things.
I know you're thinking, I probably just had too much catnip.
Well, I've had catnip before, and it's never affected me like that.
When I came to, there he was.
There he was.
He was getting over me with a box of Q-tips.
He said he was affected by me.
He had Q-tips Between his fingers
Like Wolverine
Three at a time
He wasn't cleaning
I raped him
I understand the bit
I've raped cats
And they dropped me off
In an animal shelter
Yeah that's where you belong
You piece of shit
Just like a piece of trash
On the lady ass And you know this cat he just looked me with those dead shark eyes and said
no no just another stray put her down put her down put her with the rest of the sluts that i
locked away before he does this to another cat i'll never stop There is no stopping me
Cat rape
Cat rape veto
Oh yeah wait
Don't forget
There you go
Alright
Here's one
Yeah this is a veterinarian
And this is how I talk.
And I'm calling for Vito.
Vito, we've got a bone to pick with you here at the vet's office.
No, you don't.
I'm going to say a Q-tip to pick with you.
There is absolutely no need for you to do what you did to that poor cat.
But I did.
We sell cat pheromone collars here at the vet's office.
If you had just called any veterinarian's office and asked them what should you do with your cat being in heat,
we would be more than happy to sell you
a pheromone collar in order to
diminish your cat's behavior issues.
But no, you had to take matters into
your own hands, or I don't know what
you took into your own hands, but whatever it is,
you didn't have to do that.
Call the vet's office next time.
If no longer.
You're cool. Vito, go fuck yourself.
You just called a vet and got a fuck yourself. Who gives a shit?
You just called a vet
and got a fucking collar
that would have cured it?
I don't believe
that's a real vet.
He said that's how they talk.
I've never heard anything
about a collar
with pheromones.
Okay, let's look it up.
Cat pheromone collar
in heat.
You gotta put
the cats in the heat.
Oh, bro.
It's overwhelming.
It's a behavior call making whelming. Look at this whelming you look at that would work. That's for that's really cats. I would try it first
It's only it's only 17
I don't even think the stores are open at that point
I could have spent i could have spent 23.75 instead i used a five
cent q-tip for the exact same effect and your soul so i saved 20 stress your cat helps cat
feel 68 happy and calm while reducing unwanted behaviors tired of jacking your cat off like a
sick freak try this comfort zone two pack calming pheromone college that's what it says i think that i went
with the most direct and effective method approved by vets from around the world it is there are
you can do that it is a thing no it's whatever 30 days of calm i don't think oh my god i can't
believe a legit vet called i don't think this would work i don't believe it would. Oh my god, I can't believe a legit vet called in. I don't think this would work. I don't believe it.
Look!
No one has ever brought up the idea.
Look at the reviews!
4,000 reviews!
Okay, but does it say anything about them being in heat?
Or does it say like they-
My rescue kitten had severe-
No, no, no.
Okay, wait.
Let me look up.
Hold on.
Shit, I knew I shouldn't click that.
Using outside the litter box.
Cat on cat aggression.
Does this work on cats in heat?
No, this product is not designed to help cats in heat.
The very first answer.
I win.
Fuck you.
The very first answer.
Will this help a cat in heat?
No.
This is not designed to help cats in heat.
Yeah, but you don't know where that answer comes from.
Fuck you.
A collar does not deal with a cat's instinctual desire
to get railed, okay?
It's a fun...
All they want to do,
they're sluts
and they want to get fucked.
Oh, no.
And a little caller
is not going to stop that.
All right?
Idiots.
Just get a little...
You could have called
the vet's office.
It would have been
ineffectual and useless.
Moron. Okay, maybe... You could have called the vet's office. It would have been ineffectual and useless.
Moron.
Okay, maybe.
What about guy who supports veto?
That would be nice for once.
Okay.
I'm going to start trick naming them.
Yeah, you better.
Because I see ones that are friendly towards me.
Hi, what's up? I just wanted to call in in support of Vito.
Thank you.
And the whole cat situation.
Thank you.
I mean, I am a cat owner myself, and I love my cat.
Okay.
I mean, I really love my cat.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
No, no.
I do.
Sometimes I'll touch her just a little bit, and sometimes I'll touch her all night.
I don't feel like this is supportive of me.
I don't listen to the whole one.
And she just means the world to me.
I mean, I'm a responsible pet owner.
Okay.
Just like Vito.
Hmm.
Just like Vito.
Just because I'm her dirty daddy and she's my little...
Oh, my God.
All right.
All right.
Cut it.
Cut it.
I don't understand the prejudice. alright Cut it Cut it God damn it
Talking about prejudice
I did what needed to be done
I am a man of action
You wish
You all wish
You had my
My
My ability
To do the dirty things
That need to be done.
Okay.
That's probably enough.
What a show.
Once again, don't forget to vote at biggestproblem.show.
We got to do a bonus episode next week.
I know.
Next week we'll do a bonus episode.
Okay.
Would have done it this week, but I'm a little...
Tired.
Yeah.
Tired of riding. It's a little tired. Yeah. Tired of writing?
It's a heat wave.
I've been writing.
Yeah.
I'm waiting on feedback from some people on the latest draft of the Super Killer script.
Okay, get your Super Chats in now because we're about to start reading them.
Jared Schiff for two sends us a picture of a tiny little bird wearing a French beret.
Super sticker.
Super sticker. Super sticker.
Cara Froman.
We love Cara.
For four, it looks like a corgi eating a sandwich.
How come I can't zoom in more?
I don't know.
Oh, shit.
I fucked it all up.
They make the stickers.
We'll just go back to where the sticker was.
You actually might need to zoom out.
What a show guys
super stickers
they should tell you what they are
alright there we go
I'm trying to do a
hold on let me see this
Kara Froman
what's going on here
oh okay
Kara's a big fan
of the show
oh really
I think she supports my Patreon as well
oh I see
she's a big fan
okay
Buck Pravin with 50 euros which normally
would be hard to calculate but i now know are worth less than american dollars so it should
have been 52 it would have uh regardless uh hi dick and veto i have no problems right now but
here is some cash what's funny is i have an artist friend and a couple months ago i was like hey would
you do this job for 100 bucks he goes i do it for 100 euros i'm like oh you motherfucker because at
that point the exchange rate was in his favor yeah and now i'm like all right you ready for
that 100 euro deal and he's like you cocksucker god damn it because normally he was gonna he was
gonna make another 25 30 bucks euros tanking time to invest in american dollars surprise i didn't get a stock tip veto
there pale pen 15 for 199 says i hate the antichrist wow okay jared schiff that's what
he would want yeah he wants he's like bizarro zuberman that's basically what the antichrist is
jared schiffer 5 says there's no audio for Vito. That's a lie.
Thaddeus the Great for 10.
Vito, I'm a little late, but you are for sure at least partially culpable
in the YouTube HQ shooting.
No chance in hell you didn't either put the idea in her head
or at least embolden her to do it.
I can't believe that you knew that, girl.
I'm not sure if that's a joke or not.
Just kidding.
Yeah, just kidding as all law newsmen
should do outlaw if i was a sandy hook parent and my kid got shot i would i would play into it a
little bit like just like well at least we're having fun with it yeah i don't have a lot i
don't have anything to live for anymore or i would claim that the government had paid me. And then get Alex Jones and everybody to bring it on.
Alex Jones is on to it.
Yeah.
He's on to us.
I'm speaking out.
I'm speaking out.
And then you could be a.
The government paid me.
You could be a conspiracy theorist.
And you go charge for appearances.
You go for $5,000.
I'll come on and I'll say it was all a hoax.
Just make some, you know.
When life gives you lemons.
The thing is though, you can just sue them and get like, what?
A million bucks? So that's quicker. The thing is, though, you can just sue them and get like, what, a million bucks?
So that's quicker.
Yeah.
But then everyone hates you.
I don't hate the Sandy Hook parents.
What are you talking about?
I do.
Well, they didn't sue the school system.
Didn't sue the cops.
I'm sure they did.
They just sued Alex Jones for making fun of it.
They sued a variety of places.
I think everybody got sued.
Outlawed thoughtss for two says,
Hashtag Cat Limes Matter.
Pale Pen for two says,
Tell Justin that the screen is blurry.
I don't see any blur.
I think it's a troll.
I think so.
Rare State Cubes for five.
The ASPCA is boycotting Vito the Q-Tipper.
Better watch out, Vito. How the fuck those guys. They're always coming downito the Q-Tipper. Better watch out, Vito.
How the fuck those guys?
They're always coming down on us Q-Tip enthusiasts.
Jim Satala for a big $9.99 says,
Really love the show and the dick show,
even though Vito's takes on stuff smell like farts after eating.
I see what you're doing.
You want to read that part, Dick?
Two beef airline sandwiches and Trayvon's tea
You play stupid games
Win stupid prizes
Airline sandwiches
Very close
Two beef airline sandwiches
Very close
Petty for 20 US dollars
The January 6th commission
If I wanted to see a donkey show
I'd just go to Mexico
Yeah
Well there you go General General Zeptic for 4.99 sandy hook can you not
put sandy hook as a thing and you had to use little probably fucking not yeah you probably can't
because they'll cry the parents will come and cry all day and night he spelled it with cats and
creative we're the only ones who had kids that ever died.
My heart goes out to the Sandy Hook parents.
Holy Lord,
will you stop mocking them?
Because you got no real problems.
Sandy Hook jokes
are like the kids.
They never get old.
Oh my God.
Good show, boys.
Another shout out
to my girlfriend, Amy,
who is in fact a woman.
Beautiful.
Prove it.
Jim Satala for $4.99.
Be careful, Dick. If you say nice things about Eric's Jones, it'll report this video to YouTube, in fact a woman. Beautiful. Prove it. Jim Satala for $4.99.
Be careful, Dick.
If you say nice things about Eric Jones,
it'll report this video
to YouTube
so Mama can,
Susan can demonetize you
and strike your channel.
I have never reported
a video to YouTube.
All right.
I made a tweet.
It's different.
Fat X the Great for five.
Excited for a new NFL season.
I already know
this is a trick.
Big fan of
Place kickers
Since I played
A little in school
My favorite kicker
Would have to be
Someone named
Fair Balm
On the Texans
Fair Barn
Fair Barn
If the
If the
The comment has
Nothing to do
With anything
It's just a random tangent
You gotta ask
You're gonna run You have to ask the host's opinion.
That's the secret to getting something.
Because usually it'll get us all excited.
Like we're going to, oh, it's going to be a little conversation.
Yeah.
This is a complete tangent about playing.
I played Nier Automata and there's a character named 2B.
And yeah, I know.
I went to the fair yesterday and at the fair I saw, okay.
Captain Boomies.
I love Captain Boomies.
She came out to Road Rage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember.
You know her?
1999.
Please get rid of the disgusting cat hair on the bill if you just had it.
All right, look.
I don't always remember.
I saw it there the whole show.
Why didn't you tell me?
It's funnier.
Oh, whatever.
I have a lot of cats, all right?
And sometimes I forget.
Still there.
Still there. Okay. I have a lot of cats alright and sometimes I forget still there sometimes
still there
okay
sometimes I forget
to use
a lint roller
it was just like one
going like
I know
I had a big one
on my shirt
last episode
and I felt stupid
you can tell me
if there's a giant cat
in there on my shirt
no there won't
CG for five
only Vito
could make an unironic
case for comedy
with trigger warnings
and explicit content labels.
A fatter Chipper Gore.
I just think you'll be legally protected.
Why not?
What's the difference, though?
Like a news.
Who cares?
I think we've already legislated this issue.
Fadix the Great for five.
My name is Vito Gisualdi, and I genuinely believe the Sandy Hook shit.
You have to read it in a voice. It's clearly meant to be read in a dumb voice. My name is Vito Gisualdi, and I genuinely believe the Sandy Hook shoot. You have to read it in a voice.
It's clearly meant to be read in a dumb voice.
My name is Vito Gisualdi, and I genuinely believe the Sandy Hook shooting was staged by elites to garner support for gun control.
Oh, he's trying to take me out of context.
You're going to clip that, you motherfucker.
They do do that, though.
The government does fake stuff.
Oh, my God. They do. I know. Not everything. Not school shooting. you motherfucker they do do that though the government does fake stuff oh my god
they do
I know
not everything
not school shootings
how would you know
Peter R for 20
hey dick
did you know
Destiny plays piano too
did you guys jam
when he was at your studio
he's such an enigma
one minute
he has a based
Rittenhouse opinion.
The next minute,
he's swapping spit
in an estrogen shower
with Vito.
No, I didn't play
Piano with Destiny.
I think we should have
a dueling pianos show.
I would love to have
Destiny be on this show.
He probably would.
Spider Eternal for two.
Vito is just jealous
of Alex Jones
being a virtuoso.
Yes, that's what it is
Peter R for five
people call
playing the piano
tickling the keys
Dick can you confirm
you and Disney
tickled the keys together
late into the night
yeah yeah we did
a lot of key tickling
we tickled each other's keys
for ten dollars
and one cent
Vito how far
is that
thank you
Q-tip looking head of yours
we gotta drive it up
yeah
now that we've gotten
from 99 up now we gotta've got to keep pushing.
It has to be one.
Whoever has the biggest super chat at the end of the night should win a prize.
Ooh.
And then everybody can keep trying to outbid, outbid, outbid.
Oh, yeah.
Vito, how far is that Q-tip looking head of yours up your own cat's backside
that you can't see the biased judge in the Alex Jones case has an agenda
that simply refuses to be fair to.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I suck.
See, that was a good one.
That was a good one.
I saw that coming from a fucking mile away.
Yeah, you did.
Yeah, you did.
I fell for it. I fell did oh oh I fell for it
refuses to
I fell for it
I fell for it
I fell for it
I'm a retard
stop saying
I fell for it
I'm a retard
I fell for it
I'm a retard
I fell for it
I'm a retard
I should have a soundboard
vote it up
oh my god
you gotta vote
god damn it
I think it's problem
got you vote it up everybody vote it up you gotta vote Oh my god! God damn it!
Load it up, everybody.
You son of a bitch.
Piece of shit.
That raped Vito.
He hit Vito.
It's always the hot ass bitch.
Fucking asshole.
All right.
I'm going to kill myself.
Seth B for five.
Vito, you've done well.
Say this fast or else you love... What if Alex Jones had said that in court?
If he just looked at the judge and said,
you know what?
I'm going to kill myself.
Probably would have done well for himself.
Yeah, probably.
They would have felt bad for him.
Like, oh man, that sucks.
Vito, you've done well.
Say this fast or else you love Mrs. Babbitt.
To be hair
be true dare
boofy bear
foo
teeth
fair
Ubuntu
beef
rare
who he fared
I think you nailed it
I don't think any of those
were in there
well because I was trying to like
track it as I went along
I was treating
yeah you were cheating
I was cheating a little bit
CG for 10
I want to agree with Vito
but it was liberals that opened the woke marketing Pandora's box.
If Gillette wants to run Boys Will Be Boys ads, bring on the end of the Fed toothpaste.
No, it's always this tit for tat.
Well, they did it first, so now we should be against all of it.
That's my argument.
I think it's equally stupid and manipulative.
Okay, that, yes, but I don't think it is tit for tat.
I think it's built into marketing.
Like the first ad, the biggest advertisers are always going to be political campaigns.
So the beginning of America is just built on, like, it doesn't, it's not woke marketing.
It appears out of nowhere.
It's like it flows down from.
But why would woke marketing be a problem and anti-woke marketing is cool
and based?
Uh, because
people who donate... Because it owns
the fucking libs. Just say it.
That's what you want.
Because it's funny. Because it triggers
the libs. Yeah, it's funny. That's why it's funny.
It's not funny. But the LGBT
stuff triggers the right wing and they go, I can't believe
there's all this gay shit everywhere
Why isn't it funny
Because you can't
They're grooming our kids with the fucking Snickers
You can't make fun of anything
Like a Skittles where all the colors are gone
And it's all white
Like that's a serious
They fucked up
And it's funny
The right wing stuff to own the libs
Is also funny because The right wing stuff to own the libs Is also funny because
The right wing is deconstructionist
For a lot of things and the left wing
Has to maintain
Is Gab funny? Is Gab hilarious?
No, no, no Gab's not
Well that's part of the problem
Is that this shit, it's not funny, it's stupid
Yeah Eric
Well
I got you thinking It's not funny, it's... Well... I got you thinking.
It's not funny.
It's just lame.
It's fucking stupid.
Just make a good product.
You're right.
It's not funny.
Stop dragging your stupid politics and everything.
I can't think of one that's funny.
Thank you.
Because it's stupid.
As soon as it becomes marketing, it's not funny anymore.
Or our razors identify as the most badass razors.
That's stupid. it's fucking stupid if
there was like if there was like uh an ad for like a whiskey yeah an anti-woke marketing and it was
like guys pulling up and they're like ah shit it's ladies night we can't get in they're like
dude why don't we just chop our dicks off and they all take out
and the next scene they're all, and their pants are all, like, bloody.
Okay, that's different.
And then the woman walks up, and she's like, oh, I'm a lesbian.
What do you guys do?
And they go, we're all teachers at elementary schools.
I was like, maker's mark.
That would be funny. Funny marketing is different than woke marketing.
But the woke marketing, it's all grandstanding bullshit.
Janine Cat for 10.
This is stupid what do
they call irl gab meetups you know like vidcon mind meat or dick what's the next one youtube fair
youtube e yeah yeah the discord daddy i think the problem with anti-woke marketing is a crisis of
belonging well that's actually a poignant point there arthur tomlinson for five veto of anti-woke marketing is a crisis of belonging. Well, that's actually a poignant point there. Arthur Tomlinson for five. Veto of anti-woke marketing is just as bad.
How come Dick can't open a bank account? How come Dick can't open a bank account?
That has nothing to do with marketing. How come Dick can't open a bank account?
It has nothing to do with marketing at all. General Zeptik, $199. Marketing hit its peak
with Billy Mays and ShamWow, and that was all great, and it didn't tell me if you buy a ShamWow,
you know, we're going to kill Hillary Clinton and put her in jail, okay? It wass and ShamWow. And that was all great. And it didn't tell me if you buy a ShamWow, you know, Hillary, we're going to kill Hillary
Clinton and put her in jail.
Okay.
It was just a ShamWow.
It was a good product.
Yeah, it would be cool.
No, it wouldn't be.
Shut up.
Hi, I'm Billy Mays here.
Let's kill Hillary Clinton and put her in jail.
Let's do so with these super shammies.
If we put Hillary, I could strangle Hillary Clinton with this super shammy.
Check this out.
Bop, bop, bop.
There she goesop There she goes
There she goes
She's bluing out folks
She's bluing out
And if you act now
I'll throw in a second super shammy
I'm gonna encase Nancy Pelosi
In flex tape
Flex tape is gonna strangle that bitch
See it's funny
They aren't doing that
Funny marketing is not the problem
They aren't being funny
You're right
Disney fired Gina Carano And we put that dumb Bitch who can't act In a shitty cowboy movie marketing is not the problem they aren't being funny you're right disney fired dina carano and
we put that dumb bitch who can't act in a shitty cowboy movie support it to destroy the woke elites
stupid jule baron julius von bronk for five i have full access to dolly it's lame as balls i
tried making a pic drawing of a ugandan warlord id amen. Amin as an anime cat girl, and they restricted it.
Well, the good one is not.
That sucks.
But Dolly's not the good one.
There's another one that I think is.
Oh, there's a secret AI?
Oh, maybe I'm crazy.
Rich F for five.
Google Ralph Pouton.
It's a fat green troll in Second Life that looks like Vito.
He breaks into people's houses and starts banging.
See, that's funny
that's funny there's some good uh vr chat videos coke take for five love the show when are we
getting a biggest problem live or road rage phoenix i know it's a bit of a drive but cheaper than la
i don't know we've talked about doing a live show we'll continue talking about it someone find us a
venue if you know a venue in the los angeles area that will host us and not charge us a lot of money.
I have a credit for Peerspace.
We just need a format.
I think we got, I got some ideas.
Kara Froman for 10.
Great stream, guys.
We love you, Kara.
Fadix the Great for 2.
What's that scratch veto?
Cats started resisting.
Do I have a scratch on me?
Don't look.
It looks guilty.
I normally have cats. You look.
I love my cats.
I don't have any cat scratches on me. Ride Dog for 5. A shirt a I normally have cats. You look. I love my cats. I don't have any cats
scratches on me.
Ride dog for five.
A shirt a month is too much.
I don't need that many shirts.
Well, maybe I could alternate.
I don't need that many shirts.
All right, that joke
Why would you have a shirt a month?
Some places do a shirt a month.
It's fun.
For women?
Okay, how about alternating months?
Like you get a shirt one month
and then the next month
you get like a
I don't know.
A mug or a sticker.
How many mugs do you
need but you could make like a fun about a pair of boots what if it was a fun product every month
you know if it's like hangman like first month you get a shoe second month you get another shoe
then you get a pair of shorts okay but we get instead of doing a shirt club we could we should
at least sell t-shirts or something or mugs and uh. You have merchandise.
Literally, your whole table is dick show merchandise,
so you're happy monetizing that.
I'm telling you, it's not that much.
Ito wants to make a little Skrilla.
It's like, well, I don't know.
I don't know.
That might mean less people buy dick show merch
because they're buying Biggest Problem merch instead.
What do you want?
A shirt that says I'm the biggest problem that you have? I just want to make
some shirts. I'm going to make some shirts. Alright.
Fine. We'll try it.
We'll try it. Jim Satala
for $4.99. Vito, you
should call your comic Stupid Killer
and it would just be you
self-deleting. That would sell.
I would buy each one that has a different
ending. Thank you,
Jim, you cock sucker
and you kill yourself
in every comic
yeah that would be good
what you keep waking up
whoa
shit I'm still here
what's Eric July doing
I think I could have fun
with that
wet bandit for 10
funny to see YouTubers
rage when YouTube
claims their videos
even though they put
a disclaimer
lol YouTube doesn't care
whether or not
you consider it
you consider it You consider it.
to be what, dick?
Fair use.
Fair use.
They are still
going to strike it.
Thank you, Wet Bandit.
Good try.
Good try.
I figured out why
some of them are $4.99.
Pete Oxenham will get you
every time.
I figured out why
some of them are $4.99
and some of them are $5.
Why?
I think if you're on an iPhone,
it always defaults
to.99 payments. And if you're on an iPhone, it always defaults to.99 payments.
And if you're on Android, it rounds it up.
We've got a couple more past web bandit.
Jared Schiff for two.
Keep calm and Q-tip your cats.
Sora Lute for $2.03.
Congratulations on 250,000 subscribers.
Veto.
Hashtag Veto Nation.
Good job.
I'm almost going to beat Maddox pretty soon.
Oh, really?
I don't know if you've heard of that guy.
Really?
Yeah, he has...
Go check how many subscribers he has.
Maddox AOM YouTube, I think.
Is that what his one was?
I think it is.
Oh, my God.
That would be so funny.
I suspect it's because...
Shut up.
Let's see. Maddox has, does he have exactly 250 as well?
What?
I think right now I've slid backwards to 249.
I have like 249.99.
Oh, we gotta get, we gotta get, keep Vito above Maddox.
Keep Vito above Maddox at all costs.
Fire up your burner accounts.
Fucking subscribe to Vito.
I just need a thousand more subscribers. Subscribe to youtube.com slash C to Vito Subscribe to YouTube.com
Slash C
Slash Vito
Slash Vito
Unsubscribe to Maddox
Unsubscribe to Maddox
Right away
I also think that
Our biggest problem
YouTube
Has more subscribers
Than the Madcast
Podcasting network
YouTube
Oh yeah
That one
That thing was dog shit
I don't know how he had
No subscribers
For the amount of time
And podcasts Because his content sucks Yeah it was really He had like a bunch of Shitty LA comedians Yeah, that thing was dog shit. I don't know how he had no subscribers for the amount of time and podcasts he was doing.
Because his content sucks.
Yeah, it was really...
He had like a bunch of shitty L.A. comedians.
I tried listening to Best to Beat Bait, and I'm like, these guys have like no chemistry
or comedic timing at all.
It's weird.
No.
It's weird to hear a bunch of guys having a conversation.
I'm like, none of these guys are funny.
They're not listening to each other.
They're not being honest about anything.
Me and you have like good timing
And like fun back and forths
And it was just like guys talking over each other
And I'm like wow this is obnoxious as fuck
Is Leo where we're at?
Leo Lombazardo for two
James was right
Oh I know I know
That was a cringe of the week
John for five
Congrats on making cringe of the week on WATP
So that's where it was with the q-tip incident
why is carl coming at car biggest problem carl's coming at i know and you know i got
cringe of the week i tell you i got banned from the watb discord why because the people some
some mod in the discord was likeito's a fucking loser And banned me
And I asked Carl
I'm like hey Carl
I got banned from your discord
And instead of just
Putting me back on the discord
He went into the discord
And he was like
Hey guys
Should I let Vito come back
Like a little bitch
Because he didn't want to
Upset the mod
He didn't want to upset the mod
He didn't want to upset the mod
Oh
I was like Carl
You're in charge of the show
I'm banned
That's my cringe of the week
Yeah that's my cringe of the week
Podcast host
It's your
Cow-towing
To your fucking
Bad Janny
Voted up
Uh
Dude
It's your show
You determine who's banned
From the discord
Yeah but he does a lot of work
For free
He does a lot of work
I don't know
You know he really doesn't like Vito
Your cringe of the week Carl
Just unban me
From your fucking discord
Cringe of the week, Carl. Just unban me from your fucking Discord. Cringe of the week.
Fucking Brian Clark for $9.99.
Why the fuck don't I get to choose an exact price?
I don't know.
Anyway, great show, boys.
It's very confusing how it works.
Freddy F for five.
What does Maddox do for a living now?
Welfare.
There's no possible way he has a job.
Jared Schiff for two. Road Rage Globe. Globeelfare. There's no possible way he has a job. Jared Schiffer, too.
Road Rage Globe.
Globe, Arizona?
Oh, no.
I've been there enough
in this lifetime.
Is that actually a good place
or not a good place?
That's where my family's from.
Let's see.
And Jim Satala for $4.99.
I wasn't being mean.
Vito would be like Groundhog Day.
That movie was awesome.
Oh, a comic book
where I kill myself every week.
No, I like you.
Yeah, but you can't.
Why don't you just fucking kill yourself?
But you can't die.
What a show, guys.
What a show.
Don't forget to vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show.
Real quick, sure.
Supporters are best supporters.
We have a little graphic.
I need to update it for this month.
But we love all our dickheads and veto files over at biggestproblem.
Patreon. Patreon.com slash biggest problem
Yeah, what's it at?
Well, it was at over $1,200
But like I said, at the beginning of every month
People's payments don't go through
So I think we're actually below $1,200 now
Oh, $1,194
$1,194 and we're up to like $1,250
We gotta build
We gotta boost these numbers
You gotta go
Hit up
Big streamers
Yes
Say that we're talking about them
Whatever
We gotta be
We gotta be WATP
There's two of us
We could be Carl
He's one guy
What's Carl at?
I know Carl's making 8k a month
WATP
Patreon
I know he's making
8 K so he must have
Like 2,000 guys
On there
Who are these
Podcasts
Is that what it is
You know you can just
Google W
Oh yeah you found it
W A T P
2,000 patrons
9 grand
What the fuck
He's kicking our ass
Oh okay
I don't want to look at that
This show's been around
Longer
We got time to catch up
Hit up
Go on big streamers
Tell him to unban me
From the discord
No
What the fuck is he
Cow-towing to a fucking
Discord moderator
Like a little bitch
Yeah
And have me on the show
I was supposed to come on
I'll still come on
But what do you
Even if you agree
To come on the show
There's no telling
When you'll
If you'll go
I will make Time This was a if you agree to come on the show, there's no telling when you'll, if you'll go,
I will make time.
This was a one time thing that I missed the show.
I will make all the time in the world.
I still like WATP,
but apparently he's big friends with Chrissy Mayer and this,
what a Joe Pellegrino,
whatever that fucking guy's name is.
Who's Joe Pellegrino? Whatever Booker guy is.
Frank Pellegrino. Frank Pellegrino. Apparently they're like best friends. So maybe. That Frank guy's name is Who's Joe Pellegrino Whatever Booker guy is Frank Pellegrino
Frank Pellegrino
Apparently they're like
Best friends
So maybe
That Frank guy
It's a wet blanket
Yeah he's
Well whatever
We'll talk about it later
Let's talk about it
In VR chat
No I mean
He's
She's getting roasted
By Pat Dixon
And Frank comes in
Like nipping
And just makes her
He makes her look bad
Like
Have you watched The compilation videos Of all the times Chrissy denies
stealing Christmas presents after?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh,
you don't know about Chrissy Maris stealing people's Christmas presents.
She went to a holiday party,
whatever Anthony Cumia's network is.
Yeah.
It was like a party at a restaurant and someone left like a bag with their
Christmas presents for like their kids. Okay. And jokingly not jokingly though she's on the show
she's like so i just took them and they're like wait why and she's like because there was like
some good stuff in there like expensive stuff and now like anytime she's been on like ralph retort
or like anyone's show all the super chats are like talk about that time you stole christmas
presents and she goes yeah i don't know that she goes, yeah, I don't know.
That's just like a troll.
I don't know what they're talking about.
But she clearly admitted to going to a holiday party and stealing presents from another guest
or like a family who was in the restaurant.
It's like, that's funny.
Why wouldn't you just go to the front and go, Hey, I found Christmas presents and give
it to the lost and found.
That's not funny.
That's fucked up.
Whatever. Fuck. Fuck. If I found a bunch of Christmas presents, it could have been like
you know, some guys. You jacked off a cat!
He saved up for his kids to buy
him whatever the fuck. Fuck him.
Anyway, there's an entire compilation of
Chrissy Mayer admitting to being
a horrible thief. It's just that guy Frank.
I stole a TV, but that was from work. That doesn't count.
Inserting himself. I'm stealing from people.
Into arguments that like, Chrissy's a, she should be, people should be building her up.
I guess.
Why?
Who's he?
So who's arguing with her?
Well, Frank is like her husband.
He keeps getting in on her behalf?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like you're kind of speaking on her behalf because nobody knows you.
They know her.
Yeah.
Like why did he fight with me on Twitter in the first place?
Because I had no idea who the They know her. Yeah, like, why did he fight with me on Twitter in the first place? Because I had no idea
who the fuck he was.
Yeah.
I literally,
I tweeted at a completely
different guy
who was hosting,
like, a con,
you know how they have
those Twitter spaces?
Mm-hmm.
And he's like,
hey, we're doing a Twitter space
with, like,
all these comedians
or whatever
to talk about
how important comedy is.
And it was all, like,
right-wing guys.
It was, like,
Josh Denny, Chrissy Mayer.
Yeah.
And I was like,
well, why not have me?
I've done more for comedy
than anyone else.
It's like a joke
But I posted a picture
Of the Dave Chappelle thing
Sure
And then Frank comes in
And he's like
You're not a real
Comedian
But he's doing it on her behalf
Yeah
Like if it wasn't for her
No one would know him
Or care about him
I wasn't even shitting on her
I just said like
Hey I want to be on the panel
So
Well
She should keep him in line
She should go steal more things
Go watch that compilation video
It's really funny To watch that I don't care about that Well if she owned up them in line. She should go steal more things. Go watch that compilation video. It's really funny.
I don't care about that.
Well, if she owned up to it and she said, yeah, I stole some Christmas presents, but
it's how uncomfortable she gets whenever it comes up.
You know, she'll be on like with Tim Pool and Tim Pool's like, so what's this chat about
you stealing?
It's the exact same as what's that guy?
Who's that guy?
The alpha male who got roasted.
They called him a cuckold.
Jack Murphy
But instead of responding with incredible anger
She's like oh jeez I don't know what they're talking about
You can't dodge that shit
You have to lean into it
Tim Pool sucks so much
He absolutely does suck
I hate the modern
Millennial
And they are millennials now like political commentary guys
yes maybe i'll bring that in next time they're just they're so shamelessly they're so shameless
with their grifting and anti-politics like they any political commentator on youtube would rather
have one would rather have a dollar than your vote. They're so disingenuous.
They're so,
and the liberals,
liberals aren't like this.
Like,
Cenk Younger,
Younger,
Cenk Younger.
He legitimately cares about all that stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He tried to run for an office at one point.
Yeah.
And the,
the right wing analogs,
the right wing guys that are on YouTube,
like those guys,
are,
are,
uh,
uh,
cravenly opportunistic and soulless.
And I fucking hate them so much.
Their programs are not meaningful programs.
They're just anti-woke marketing for the dumb bullshit they're trying to sell you.
Vote it up.
Vote it up.
Come on.
All right.
Goodbye.
Have fun, guys.