The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Awkward Cameo

Episode Date: October 7, 2022

@thebonfiresxm ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and Dan Soder. Man, there's a lot more epic songs you'd love to have playing when you're burning alive. You know? Oh my god, yeah. I mean, this band is the one that had the burning... This was the collapse of the... Was it the collapse of the stage of the rug? This is the one that had the burning this was the collapse of the was it the collapse of the stage of the rush this the fire is the fire they had pyro inside a
Starting point is 00:00:28 small bar because I thought it was 1986 it's insane yeah the bonfire yeah it's pretty wild that great white had pot they felt he had pyro how many people were there and how many people died if we can get some stats a bunch of people died Trying to get all those fucking fat white ladies with tits tattoos out of those windows There was a jam up dude old 1980 sluts old sluts can still scurry Yeah, but I'm telling you once they hit that thing dude. It's gonna be a hundred people don't milky tits still scurry. Yeah, but I'm telling you once they hit that thing dude it's gonna be a hundred people to milky tits. Yeah, the soundproofing foam went ablaze. The building was quickly engulfed in flames and a hundred people died more than 200 were injured. Damn. Just knowing that 300 people were at a great white concert. Did you just knowing that there
Starting point is 00:01:19 was a guy in the room though? It fuck because he put up that sound proofing. In the second of caught, you're like, why did I spend $5 less on the sound proofing? Yeah, it goes back even further to him at the end of the go. I mean, it'll save you a little bit. Kind of dangerous, he's like, whatever. He goes, what is some, what is some assholes gonna come do pyro in our little bar? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Oh, what is it, 1986? We're an acoustic venue. I thought this was Tesla doing a five-man acoustic jam Damn great white. Hey also if you're family member dies at a great white show It's not like if they get stomped out at the who where you're like civil court. They saw a new time Oh, yeah, when you sue great white We're gonna get a half a pack of Winston's yeah a board of guitar pedals Nobody wants you want nicky sixes phone number
Starting point is 00:02:12 I lost my Here's here's guns and roses chicken stuff Kathy Ireland's underwear. Oh, it's pretty cool Just great things from the 80s. Yeah, he goes here cool. It's just like, just great thing some yeeties. Yeah. He goes, here's a Polaroid of Sharon Stone sucking my dick. You want a slap bracelet? What the fuck, dude?
Starting point is 00:02:32 I lost a family member at your show because of a fire. I give you one of those pencil holder things where it's like rubber. Your pencil goes through it. Sorry. School store products. Sorry, chief. Best I can do is an egg-loo cooler.
Starting point is 00:02:45 I filled with a couple tall boys from the bus. I got an old stage case that says great white on it. You ain't want me to make a video for anyone that you're, you know, I could say like happy birthday. A year of free cameos. I get you six months free cameos. Hey, that's me, that guy from great white. Just take my word for it.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Man, that has to suck when you buy a cameo for someone and they don't know who it is. If they're like, who is this? And you're like, you know, that celebrity should have to be there for that moment. If you make cameos, you should also, as the celebrity have to be there, like watch the reaction to be like, fuck, fuck.
Starting point is 00:03:20 Well, a lot of those celebrities don't give a shit and notice wake up in the morning and start doing them. You see it? So like, I got asked again probably three times in the last like few months people on cameo We've got so many requests. Yeah, yeah You want to watch me be a prostitute? I'd rather walk in I'd rather walk in and fish nets and be like hey big boy. Yeah, can I just fuck one guy to go ahead? Yeah, I got a I got to slightly fuck all of these people.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Their imagination. But again, that's why I'm saying, I know who they are, is because you're getting people to do it. They do it in the morning while they're like heating up their pop tarts. You know what I mean? It's so great, they're kids,
Starting point is 00:03:59 they get them in a robe and they're like, hey, it's me that I, Debbie Mays are. I'm here as happy birthday Greg. It's Tony Danzer. I'm making my eggs and I'm not paying attention to my wife. I haven't put my face on yet. Yeah, I hear you're in a pretty bad custody battle. I hope you win, buddy.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Happy birthday for me and Angela. I'm kidding. Okay, bye. And you see, always has either big dumb hands come to push the stop button. Yeah, dude. It's like At what point are you not having any personal life? You're just paying people are just like hey here's 75 bucks Give me just a second of your time. We have so many friends to do it. I know do we who's our friends? Who's our bring up cameos of friends of ours? Oh, dude, y'all nice
Starting point is 00:04:44 Yeah, live in large on their dress like a lady. Yeah I know we brought this topic of course, but there's more but by the way, but this is like finding porn But this is like finding this is like the same moral if Nate's on here. I will fucking do wait pause I gotta see if anybody I know so far Colin mockery I've seen in things yeah Who's lying? I'm John doesn't blow my mind. Yeah Kevin McDonald's from kids in the hall keep going down Yeah, these are fine. We're up talking about stand. All right David Keckner. That's sort of saddy Already that's a bummer. David where?
Starting point is 00:05:25 Arty, oh Jesus Christ get it. That's the picture he chose to have up there. Well don't be blown away when this is what you see. Cedric the entertainer, Cedric how much money? Doug Benson will do it. Cedric come on. Ced, damn man it's so weird. 250.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Fortune themes, oh yeah I got to go see their prices too. 100, Michael. By the way last time we did this it was all like 50 75 dollars and now to the pandemic like you want to watch me jerk it You want to watch me jagged on watch me slap it around a little bit Steve rain is easy Macayle to hundo he's got to make back that fucking 9-11 lie money. He lost everything in that, you know Good at what with Pablo Francisco. Oh, he does a lot of impressions. Pablo Francisco is just a price of meth locally.
Starting point is 00:06:08 He goes, I can get out of this. $59, dude. He goes, you see. He literally was low. I was kidding. All of his cameos were him going, you think I can't get out of this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:18 Okay, I can get out of this. You're going hands with all. You're going good hands with all, Steve. Get out. Get to the chopper. Get to the, I don't know if you think I can go. This is this is this came you suck. What's that sir his cameos are just disturbing We're like this kind of bums me out man. He's gonna get help damn George went look how weird he looks Norm looks like the old man from 25 in 125 dollars
Starting point is 00:06:38 He will take time out of his day to say hello to you for what for for a for a sitcom that no one under 25 really knows existed That's not the price of dinner that's not the price of dinner for him and his chick No, it's like it's so weird you go say you want me to pay for the stick dinner hold on real quick Eric it's me no No No, he's got a yellow he's got a yellow yellow's character's name because there's no end to yellow. Like a Michaelian Black selling out hard, 85 smackers, not even a yard.
Starting point is 00:07:09 You guys wouldn't even, I mean, it does seem like a pretty easy way to make a buck. Can I tell you why? Gushin' because I'm the top loud door to my show on a cruise ship, Michaelian Black. I wouldn't be able to pop my dick out of my body after I recorded the first one. I feel like an asshole.
Starting point is 00:07:23 And I did a free, I did a commercial for a fat head for a mammoth head wear. That was easier, because this is what it is you're talking to fans that paid you money. Jay and I have talked about this. It's the fact that they gave you money to be like, be my friend, it's the toy.
Starting point is 00:07:38 It's so weird. They're like, you here, you're my friend now and you have to be like, what's up bro? I hope your day is fucking, and then like, imagine if I was shoe-horning in bonfire phrases, do I'm like crackle crackle? Oh, but I'm like, what is?
Starting point is 00:07:53 I'm like, what is wrong with you? It's like, I'm like, dickling my body, dude. I'm bleeding, I'm fucking bleeding. If I was a kid, if somebody like got me a cameo of like my favorite actress or singer saying happy birthday Like I might really like that sure and then you know grow to disrespect them. Yeah, here's what it Yes, because you find out somebody paid them 65 bucks to do it as bizarre, but here's the thing also it's
Starting point is 00:08:16 For me I'm not pretending on the one out of every 20 or so that I catch and I'm smoking a cigarette outside And I'm like, you know, hey dickhead, your girlfriend said it's your birthday. So congratulations. She got your tickets to come. You guys are coming to see me and wherever, you know what I mean? Like I just do it because I'm like, yeah, I'll fucking this. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:08:37 So that's much more I like doing that, especially it one of ones where they go. I know I see you're not on Cameo, but could you tell me how much you would cost to do it? I'm like, please don't figure out how to send me money to say hi to your boyfriend. It's weird. I've been at shows before and after the shows people have been like, dude, can you do my answering machine as macho man Randy Savage? And there's like maybe four of us around. We've smoked a joint. Not there. I'm like, give me your phone. But I'll put in your voice voice my most. That's fun. They will do that for anyone who asked I won't oh No, he won't but Jay will Starting this weekend. Stand in line dude. I'll stand in line free cameos free
Starting point is 00:09:14 If you go to Jay show that ticket buys you a cameo from Jay One cameo for for ticket. You got a party a that's a cameos display. We're not a true Dancing might be The next page because when we see a friend I want to look in at their cameos. That's what it is But I also want to clarify if this is a comic that needs money I can look the other way But if it's someone I know okay, I won't name the comics
Starting point is 00:09:44 Who there's one that already came up that I already know that I didn't want to bring up because I know he's not doing great. He's not doing terrible, but he's not doing great. So there's people where I'm like, all right, whatever, you're hoeing. What was it, my name's black? No. If you got a hoe for a little bit of money.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Vick the potato. Dude, that guy feels arena is down. Vick the bubble debt, he's 65 bucks for a cat, yeah. He watched me bomb at the old stand harder. I took two bombs specifically at the old stand that I remember. Number one, Victor Baudetto. Victor Baudetto?
Starting point is 00:10:14 Watching me take it first on an eight o'clock show. Really? I mean. 80s young kids, they don't know. Time for me to go up there. Do some spaghetti stuff. He's the way he looked to me after he was like, my God, that last guy was a man to go with his side a couple of
Starting point is 00:10:30 old. Why didn't you talk about how things used to be? And yeah, that was cool. All right, let's see who's on your Tom Arnold. You know, Dr. Glow Comfin. Well, Tom Arnold's going to have it. Yeah, to care. He's got a lot of stuff to do.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Look at that. The guy who played the rapper from it's always sunny in Philadelphia, the white rapper. Oh yeah, fuck. Okay. I mean. Joe Gatto.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Oh, he knows he's off the show, dude. Uh, let's see. Papa Ba. Roastmaster. Jeff Ross. 325 bucks. Price himself up. He does like a well shot only fans.
Starting point is 00:11:05 Come on, we're gonna find a friend here and we're gonna watch their cameos. This really is, Jeremy Piven. This really doesn't blow my mind. This really does feel like comedians. One of the comedians was the bad guy from Karate Kid Part Three.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Wait, Mike Barnes. Brad Williams. Brad Williams. He should charge more. Yeah. He's got novelty behind him get your price up Dude you're gonna go 40 bucks damn Judy Christ Almighty I would frame your cameo photo if you did that with the price in your name No, or God damn it. God. What do you do him? God the fuck are you doing? God damn it. God damn it. What do you do him? God fucker you doing? God damn it
Starting point is 00:11:47 And next time then I need to know what where money is being drained to You need to pull me aside and be like this dark thing happening. I go, oh fuck. Okay. We'll do a cameo With a zany picture of co-cadaxion Look at a zany picture taking a little whack off an old strawberry fret. He's like it's pills and it's a lot of pills I bet people ask him to do chip a lot. Yeah, I you should be Bobby Collins cost a dollar more That's so funny Yeah, you got to go on the website to see who's charging what because him under Bobby Collins for a dollar less It's pretty hilarious go down keep going
Starting point is 00:12:23 Oh, we're coming. There's friends coming. Yeah, you can feel it. Jackie the joke when he says Bobby. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby came. Yo, it's right there. Bobby and Nick. Bobby and the follow.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Oh, yeah. Play them both. Bobby, come on. More than 50 bucks. That's what that's. No, that's his cell. Me, Cupid. How you doing?
Starting point is 00:12:43 Yo, shut the fuck up. We have to call Bobby. Yo Bob yo call Bobby what can you can you text Bobby that we're gonna call him? I'm sorry. I'm asking you two things at once, but this is that is he's the answer for this he needs answer this immediately Wow feel comfortable talking on the radio about Bobby Kelly dressed as fucking For 50 bucks I can just spit in your ass hole for 50 bucks Tell Bobby we want to ask him ask Bobby tell me we want to call him and ask him all the things we could do to him for 50 Oh, I'd rather I'd rather list the things I'd rather watch him do. Yeah, can I spit in your asshole? I would rather watch I'd rather watch you cry I'd rather watch you cry
Starting point is 00:13:26 And then how much I think in the leg with a hammer yeah What do you let me do let me do to you? Let me do stuff to you Do what the hey dress up a good asshole call my mom. Yeah put on lipstick right now Yeah, put on lipstick right now Crazy 50 box what happened when Patrice died man, I don't know everybody where everybody splintered You know when think people could take governors off of golf carts Yeah, I think Patrice was the governor. She was the governor. Should we play this? Yes, if we find porn we play it Should we play this? Yes, if we find porn we play it You bitch I want I want Bobby's wife to come in with a chair like WWE
Starting point is 00:14:22 No, they should do is they should pan over and see Max staring at him disappointed like he came into the room by accident Holding a picture of Lucy. Yeah, yeah, he goes.'s why can he be my real good hey dad I was what oh what's hey dad I can't figure out this puzzle oh no oh my god dude what the fuck oh and we might tweet this out no no no we thought the Bobby first by the way you can just find it We don't have to treat it out. Yeah, if you're listening to more key strokes. You'll find you yourself Robert Kelly. It's right there. I think everyone from now on just $50.50 only and that you will only have him do it in Atoga dresses cupid dresses Cupid by the way out of season especially I
Starting point is 00:15:02 Want December I want December cupids. I don't want February cupids of January's I want to random June cupid if he tells me this is how he just Born out right just bought outright to BMW's for him and his wife. Okay, that's not what happened to me This that have vanity plates his and hers Because if that's not the case, and I don't think it is. Bobby, there better be a fucking big bow on a car outside for Don because of these. He's going to pretend he's asleep. Here's what I'm not answering, but all I said was can you call him to bonfire right now? I didn't tell him what you guys are saying.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Yeah, of course, because he knows a trap. He knows his mega important. Here's the thing about Bobby, because I know Bobby, we both know Bobby very well. He's going to be like, just'm just fucking family fucking income. Sorry, I'm not I'm fucking trillions of Legion you fucking whatever I Just want him to charge more Yeah, I don't mind you're living the life but live the life for some more I do I don't want my friend Bobby dresses up like a god damn thing for cameos for 50 bucks
Starting point is 00:16:03 You better hike up the skirt at the end of the $50 bucks dude. I want to just send him I said Jason it's mega important. I kind of just want to send him a picture of my screen right now. Yeah, yes. Do that. Jason's making it important and then a picture of him dressed like that. By the way if he's driving he just goes Oh, that's one of the things he goes what is this about? This guy's gonna bust my balls, huh?
Starting point is 00:16:28 Oh, no, it's worse than I thought Oh shit dude Oh shit dude, oh no, it's worse than I thought Oh, it's f**k dude, we gotta, oh no This is level four, he's gonna, he's gonna, he's gonna, hey don, we're at DEF CONFOR They found the cupid video He's answering Maybe we, let's put a pin in this Defcon for they found the cupid video Maybe we let's put a pin in this put this one open put it
Starting point is 00:16:53 We have to watch it. I know what you know what we're dealing on man I don't know this is like watching your dad and drag by the way on the internet is uncomfortable This is funny. I'm genuine. I genuinely I think we both feel this way I think we genuinely look at Robert Kelly's an older brother. Yeah Oh, yeah, like he has a very older brother feeling with us where does scare us but also we love him very much This is very immense immense respect immense I Call him for life stuff. Mm-hmm. No, he's exactly me and J down and yelled at us when nobody else would Mm-hmm. No, he's he's Sack from the NJ down and yelled at us when nobody else would. Yeah, he is A mention every sense of the word a phenomenal human being
Starting point is 00:17:30 This needs to be answered for Yeah, yeah, that said Christine, please. I just found a role I just found a role in Nylon's and dad soccer I'm like my dad when my dad had trained I'm just gonna say, my dad had trained for me. There's some questions that need to be sucked out. Pop, tell me something over three pack. We got the Valentine's Day. You know that all the lady bugs
Starting point is 00:17:55 and all the people in the jerk off party love you and you're the best. And if it wasn't for you, the thing wouldn't be going on as long as it is, okay? He's also giving cryptic messages. Well, they have to because they that's how they tip off to the people that they paid like Oh see he he knows about our jerk off group. So he had to know that from somebody That's so weird. Yeah, dude This is so he's gonna say the things like one bread farve got in trouble remember cuz he was like
Starting point is 00:18:22 He's like all right, so then the all the boys at the clan rally, wipe out our by, it wasn't that, but it was like he said a bunch of like racist things. He didn't know he was saying, cause he was just reading the script they give him. I genuinely want to know what is more uncomfortable watching Bobby do this or if you found video of me setting a camera up to jerk off.
Starting point is 00:18:43 And you saw me being like, you know like that face. Let me ask you, is this for money? Are you doing it for money? But like way less than you think. Like a dirty amount. I'm just saying, it is money. Yeah, like 20 bucks. That. That's like dirty money. That's harder. That's harder to deal with than this.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Now if you were doing that for, if I I was doing it for shits and gigs, I don't know that this is way worse. If I was doing it just because it's, I think it's, as I would explain to you, I think it's hot. Yeah, you think it's fucking, you think it's steaming hot actual. I would describe it as hot. Yeah, you're doing a lot of hot digital action. I do hot action
Starting point is 00:19:31 Don't check out my chat you manipulate yourself for man on the internet I that's okay. I want daddy's to tell me what to do. That's right, but no money just just kids love it again That's your love that you said pure love that doesn't bother me one eightieth as much as Bobby taking 50 dollars to dress like this And him go like this Don, where are my wings? Where the wings Don? Of course the fucking red the red ones. It's fucking idiot. Does Don know he looks like Bob and Eka Yeah, they're multiple cupid ones. Yeah, dude. I think this is I think you hit a fucking gold vein Should we move to a different person? Yeah, cuz Bobby we need on the phone for this. Yeah, because there's 11 of them
Starting point is 00:20:14 Talking to talking to Jacob in the break about cameo and it really I think he's in I think you can do it. I think there's a chance Jacob starts a cameo you should do it for $75 a video seeing dollar signs now yeah but don't let that dollar still your heart dude I'm already feeling the the shame after you want to price people out yeah make it affordable you want to be buyer friendly you have to understand Pandemic took a lot of money away from people now. I know you're thinking chisel to Donis is only $30 But I don't know who that is did on the break we called Bobby Kelly who picked up the phone Turns out he's doing an episode with Ari of his cigar podcast to two comics to car looks to cigars and I said the Bobby I said did you have you looked at your phone and he's like no like that. He goes why goes oh look right now
Starting point is 00:21:15 And then he just went oh no Oh god, oh no, oh god, we sort of laughing. Oh, he's thank god. Ari's there too Oh, no, oh god, we started laughing. Oh, you think God already's there too Bobby, have you looked at your phone? Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait We're at commercial break right now, but Bobby, have you looked at your phone? I have not. I will look at it right now. Please. Please. Oh, no. Oh, no. What's on your phone? Oh, no Bobby, we you have to call into the bonfire Bobby Kelly is in calling momentarily with a hurry. believe. Yeah, this is the bonfire by the way. Series XM Fax, talk one of three. I'm Dan Soder. That's big J.O. Chris in full crew in studio.
Starting point is 00:22:08 And one of our crew members, maybe multiple of our crew members might be on cameo. DJ, though, I think you would do good too. Smoking with smoking your eye. I don't mean to insult, but Black Lou would do the least good because he's the least ridiculous. Yeah, if you just wanted a nice family balance. Yeah, just a good answer by the guys all around just generally happy and up
Starting point is 00:22:30 eat going pretty good. A good dude with a nice life. We got a cameo for you. If you want to Jacob, the mascot of the bonfire or Lou, the resident just backbone, but he is the, he's the callous hands. You catch Lou at the right time. Who's going to give you his phone number on his camio and his column.
Starting point is 00:22:46 Let's just hang out. What are we doing here? What are we doing? Get ready for a fucking, he goes, he goes, do this is crazy. First time I've ever had a camio drop box to me. Higher me, it's 35 minutes. 35 minutes.
Starting point is 00:22:57 Hey, higher me and I'll do whatever. Hey. I actually sent Jacob drops to campers many times before. so they always want to hear him do those. Yeah famous drops. I mean do I Jacob I I'm sorry for those so I appreciate if you wouldn't do that Jacob I mean this sincerely there is a good chance that you would be the highest earner in this room on camo I would chance I don't know I don't know what the market's like but I will say that I would have to go for gin or in costumes in order to keep up with Jacob. Oh, yeah, yes, you would have to. You have to be a danger field suit with a white wig. I can't wait just put you on
Starting point is 00:23:34 cami as all of your characters. No, come on. Come on, Dan. Okay, you wake up every morning and put on your stupid costumes. I go. I go. You got to look your girlfriend in the face morning and put on your stupid costumes. I go, I go, you gotta look your girlfriend in the face while you put on a danger field wig and a mirror. I go, Katie, I would walk, myrtle. I got 14 macho man, I got five laser fields. I got two, what are you the booze? I got a couple, some of the one in the booze are weird.
Starting point is 00:24:00 And honestly, I'm asking dad, I'm asking dad. African dad, African dad father. Someone said that to me, they're like, you know, do you do a person of your dad father is an African man? I do. That's the way I look at it. You did that. Yeah. I missed you, son. I wish I was still alive to hurt you at
Starting point is 00:24:20 commercial. I have the things you have done. 75 bucks. Unfortunately, I drank myself to death in 1997 75 dollars Bank right there He's dead. Oh my god. You've just honored me again. 25 bucks Already 150 we're already sitting there one more of those we're all sitting to plan a format together I could have some fucking Brazilian steak. Oh my god, I managed your camera.
Starting point is 00:24:46 And then I'm leaving it on green. Drop more meat. Drop more meat. Chris, we should've been Brazilian steakhouse in the way home tonight. You guys should get meat sweats, you fat sluts. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. No bread though.
Starting point is 00:24:59 I'm trying to sell it. I've been packing it all. I'm gonna try it, but you're not succeeding at eating just salads. I'm getting fatter for skankfest. Everyone'm getting shaped. I'm hiding it under a beard and I'm getting big. I'm swollen up. I'm not even in a good way enough. I'm just letting all the seams out, dude. I'm gonna eat so many carbs there because that's gonna be my whole... Well, you know what? We'll go out to dinner after you know what dude on that Friday I'm looking forward to it because I think you know what dude's my last thing on Friday right I think schedule keeper I'm sure
Starting point is 00:25:32 I have seven come on Bobby come on dude we got him why well you don't have a kind of tech here? Bob oh. Hey, what's going on? I love Bobby. Can I tell you right now? We love you so much that this is an intervention. Bob, Bobby, I understand. I understand that you have a fucking tiny house in some. You know, if you say listen eight times before you start a sentence, you're still trying to think of what your excuse could possibly be.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Listen, listen, first of all, listen to me, first of all, listen. Bobby, listen, you're Bobby, listen. You have to sleep surgery. Okay, but Bobby. I'm a different person. Bobby, hold on a second. Now I'm just going gonna break things down for you and I'm glad I can hear Ari Shifir in the background. Because we need to fully confirm Jew and not like a J-Jew, like a real Jew. They really confirm this.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Ari, just to catch you up, Ari, bonfire context we uh... went on cameo to be like let's see who which one of our friends are on cameo page page number one page one we went on so we went to thirty nine other pages and found very few people we blew our load to fast because we found bobby first but we've really have found that this is like finding your friends only fans yeah this is
Starting point is 00:27:06 you'll go on there they just let anybody have it yes yes but arey here's the thing bobby does a good job bobby puts in effort effort costuming he costumes he dressed up as cute he dressed up as cute as well I gotta get a job I gotta get a job credit on the costume she made costume okay you within your wife is aware that you've done this now well rob robbera rather find out that you and don't go to eyes wide shuttard ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm not gonna hit God tonight when I get out. Bobby, we're looking at one of them. We're max walks into the picture.
Starting point is 00:27:46 What are you doing? Bobby, here's the problem. And here's the whole reason we wanted you to call in. Robert, listen to us. We have already said you are a de facto older brother to both Jay and I. We love you. We have the utmost respect for you.
Starting point is 00:28:01 The fact that you charge thirty what how much fifty fifty dollars fifty dollars bobby you are worth a hundred dollars what are you doing okay this is a problem with having a wife because I was first of all you know you should do something for like Valentine's Day I can make you an outfit and you know you could do a lot of people would and then then then then so you can go and I have this would have you moved out to the wall you moved out to the woods and she had full control over you dude yeah yeah yeah he's the one who said he said make it 50 white don't try so much you you know make it affordable for your fans and
Starting point is 00:28:44 they'll have you do stuff I was like I wanted to do 500 because that will be the only people that do it other ones that really want me to yes Bobby I'm gonna break your heart right now Aaron Berg charges a hundred and fifty Three times as much as you you. Yeah, dude. Bungie. What? What? You know, hey, happy birthday, you fucking... Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Oh, happy birthday. Birthday time. Ah, you. Yeah, you heard your having an insurrection. Bobby, I swear to God, if you need to put your price up to $150. $1,000. Bobby, $1,000. There you go. Where am I worth $1,000? If you need to put your price up to a hundred and fifty dollars There you go. Where am I worth a thousand? Bobby you put on a goddamn dress and wings. Yeah, you Want to help you? Yeah, no, no, no, mean $30 is just it's a it's a $50 is a crime
Starting point is 00:29:46 You should be a hundred dollars at least But what if I'm in an outfit should I be more for a yes? Yes, oh Bobby. Yes, so much more 200 200 for an outfit. Also, how do you I'm confused it? How you request the costume because I didn't see it in To sign up for a camera. Yeah, so the gigs up we were to buy a cameo and have you give a pep talk to the 13 hijackers of 9-11 in a full cupid gear. I love that. I'm the one who saves all meat. Dude, I know you got a lot of problems.
Starting point is 00:30:21 You're scared of the cockpit, dude, but you take that thing. You can do it. Yeah, your government buildings are easy to spot from the sky. You're against the odds, you only have box cutters. You're 70 versions of Wheton did. And... Bobbi, when you go to your cameo page,
Starting point is 00:30:42 it's three videos of you wearing a toga Honestly, I want to find a VHS of my father sucking cock to erase this memory of seeing Wakey going once not even have the wings once just a toga Lazy My wings fell off For 50 bucks Bobby I I Fogged up dance Bobby I'm telling you right now this episode right now is really gonna juice your cameo So go change it to 150. Yeah, this is gonna juice your cameo
Starting point is 00:31:22 Those are your whitest sheet Bump up the 150 get ready for the money to go down to get the sewing machine ready That's what Aaron Berg does though. He grabs his whitest sheet. Yeah Bobby, I know the holiday seasons are upon us. I'd say think about maybe dawn throwing together a turkey outfit for you No, my god. Everyone loves a skinny turkey You're the skinny turkey and Bobby I've seen pictures, but you look No, my God. Everyone loves a skinny turkey. You're the skinny turkey. And Bobby, I've seen pictures, but you look fantastic, buddy. You do. I mean, thank you, brother. That's why it's fucking so cool to see, man. Hell yeah. And to make you feel better about this, we did find Jim. Jim Norton does a really funny thing. Do Jim's got every character, every character
Starting point is 00:32:00 as its own price and own amount and their own intro video. So if you could the next time you talk to your friend James, have him pull us aside to let us know whatever dark hole that money's going into. So we can excuse it. We have actually Jim and Sam's new intern is here and he's thinking about quitting after what he's seen. We got to put him on suicide watch for 24 hours. Oh, the big black dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:24 I said, uh, what's your name called Patrice died and Jim Norton splintered into 15 different characters I'm dealt with it. I'm so in bad. I don't know I'm literally speeches right now. I'm really fucked up about this and I'm seriously angry at dawn. It's fucking talking me down the horse hit land. Bobby and make it for children. Bobby, I'm telling you right now. Seriously, go with the first thing you need to do is go home to cameo and change your price to over $125 because I guarantee you're going to get requests from this. Sure, it might be to paint yourself
Starting point is 00:33:06 like the thing from Fantastic Four. Bobby, I know you're feeling a little bit down, but here, maybe this will cheer you up. Hey Melissa, hey, Fufit, how you doing? I hope you have a happy Valentine's day. You know, like all the ladybugs and all the people in the jerks. Oh, the inside of jokes
Starting point is 00:33:26 If it wasn't for you You are so even though you make me Your father bear a jerk off on ease. Oh No, I'm not you to read that and go it's mama bear mama bear I promise everybody I'll memorize them so I'm not reading yeah, my god Bobby Crying I'm crying Nothing apologize for you have zero to apologize for there's no way there's not gonna be at least a little dust up in your house tonight though Oh god, I failed you I feel you
Starting point is 00:34:19 I mean you gave us a really easy episode of the bonfire. Oh Oh my gosh. I'm like, I'm like, stomach, dude. It's going really bad. Bobby, we love you. But Bobby, go on, Camille. Can you raise that price immediately? I'm telling you this comes up first thing.
Starting point is 00:34:37 I don't know how to change it. Yeah, just talk to Don, get your passwords, get it up. Because I'm telling you right now, Bobby, if you re- if you re- listen to us discover you on cameo you will hear we just know your worth so much more so much more fifty dollars you're putting on costumes christis definitely does cameos from fucking restaurants yeah from a mission and the last round he doesn't give a shit you're putting on costumes Chris is finishing his amuse bush and giving his mission statement
Starting point is 00:35:06 but uh... question from question for bobby it doesn't even say where to request the costum said does he just wear it naturally as he explained he only did it during valentine's day all right i'm seasonal like uh... all bobby oh my god i tell you right now if you change your price
Starting point is 00:35:26 You're you're about to make enough money to buy a place in Aruba or you can get real wings that don't fall off Oh my god, we love you so much robber Kelly Dustin Dust off the best dust off the cupid off of Bobby and by the way you're dropping all that weight buddy You're gonna be looking nice in it. Yeah, you're going to be looking sexy as fuck. In fact, the second you get home when you park and you walk into your house, I want you to look at Don and go get the band back together. We're about to get some requests. Clear your mornings. We're about to be pretty busy. Go get that sewing machine, you beautiful bitch. We're about to make
Starting point is 00:36:02 money. Oh, Bobby, we love you. Please come on the show soon with us. I love you guys. Thank you for saving me. It's okay. We just wanted you to know. We'll see you at Skankfest. We'll see it Skankfest, buddy. Bye, guys. Love you.
Starting point is 00:36:19 Love you. I'm telling you, he's the best. He's the best of all time. The hangar is the harp is awesome. Yeah. I mean, Bobby, you know, hang your harp. He's holding a hanger as a harp, like it's a harp. Oh, I see the flowers.
Starting point is 00:36:34 I didn't see the harp. It's in one of the later videos. It's the one where you can go. Oh, is this later stuff? It's when you win electric. Yeah, dude. Oh, my God. yeah Yeah, dude, oh my god of crying that was rules dude Bobby I think Bobby takes it so embarrassed yeah, he had no answer he goes I'm
Starting point is 00:36:56 That's why each guy listen listen Dead listen listen to me. Okay, listen All right listen now by the way Bobby specials coming out soon on luick.com. Oh, yeah, yeah, really soon very soon So get ready to go by that Fuck I mean get a cameo to if you got extra scratch But go get funny go get Bobby fucking Right to down floor floor right outside of Tampa outside of Tampa. So I maybe yeah, I worked with Suarez at side Supporters that we can after yeah, and he said it was killer
Starting point is 00:37:26 Oh, dude, I heard the room was beautiful I was like a kill box. It's called kill box. Yeah, and Louis directed it That's fucking it. And so it'll be available at Louisck.com Make sure you go by that Bobby Kelly's new hour special. He is one of the greats and One of our favorite people on earth. Jesus Christ, how do they wrap up? Yeah. Skankfest coming up, did you excited? I'm super excited, man.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Yeah, yeah. Oh, man, I'm expection on Saturday. We got a lot of fun stuff. We have Friday, of course. Friday, or Friday, we have a bonfire. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Six PM. A lot of fun.
Starting point is 00:37:58 Six PM bonfire. We got some fun stuff. Yeah, it's gonna be amazing. Dan Soder is on the road before that this week. I am. And Cleveland Ohio. I'm sure being the blade. uh... we got some fun stuff yeah it's gonna be amazing dan sota is on the road before that this weekend in cleveland o'hide sharpening the blade hilarities sharpening the blade for he comes to war uh... i'm so excited the whole cruise can be out there for skankfest to
Starting point is 00:38:16 it's absolutely amazing but go to dan sota dot com for tickets and all the tour deities uh... i believe nashville coming up cleveland this weekend yeah but i yeah cle's tonight, tomorrow Saturday. Yeah, and then after Skeng's you have Nashville but something else. Charlotte. Comedy zone, never done it before.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Cool room. I heard good people, good staff too, man. That's a really nice place. Yeah, you never done it before? No, they're gonna be so stoked for you. Yeah, I'm very excited. bonfiremerch.com, at the bonfire.sxm on Twitter and on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:38:44 We love you guys. I got tickets, or land on my name. He can't the city coming up, bigjacomity.com at the bonfire sxm on Twitter and on Instagram. We love you guys. I got tickets or land Big Jamie Kansas City coming up big jccomedy.com big jccomedy.com and Also don't forget Jacob a Todd on cameo. It's common. It might already be up. It's our also Bobby Kelly Robert Kelly on cameo. Yeah, Robert Kelly now going for a hundred fifty dollars go go spend that cash. We love you guys. Bye Go, go spend that cash. We love you guys. Bye! You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM! you

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