The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Coming Out (feat. Colum Tyrrell)

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

Comic Colum Tyrrell calls Bobby out for pretending his weight loss was natural!

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of the Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire, with Big J. O'Coursen and Robert Kelly. Show up, Lake of the studio, you get Pearl J.M. It's a spare.

I like birthday presents to myself. Birthday Lou. Birthday Lou. Same old cure, man. This is better than the fucking cure. That's undeniably true. Thank you. Undeniably true, Lou. I'm sorry.

None of them are fat. I would. If I was going to go to a pro jam show, it would be with you, for sure. Yeah, we'll hit one one day. For sure. I'll go, I got to see him. You got to see when someone loves them. You got to go see him him like Christine loves not need to franco, but I won't go I Won't be a part of that shit. I'm gonna start a problem. I was love approaching. I'm like get off my back

Dike move back. We can't get closer to the stage That'll be my overall approach Christine's She might go see Torie Amos tomorrow, so she's gonna come home all fucking rapy and weird. Don't touch me. I'm just gonna go spend time with the dog. I don't wanna be touched right now.

You're just very toxic. I'm gonna take tomorrow off. I think I just need some time to think about what I heard tonight. Old Torie Amos too, what you look like now. Redheads age. Redheads, redheads. They age quick. Hard.

Yeah. You get, they're like dogs. Like you get a 20, 20 year old girl. If she's a redhead, she's around 56. She looks batshit. She looks great. Actually, she does look pretty good. She doesn't.

The glasses, the glasses look good. Her eyes aren't on the same, her eyes are crazy looking. No, she looks bad shit. That looks great. Actually, she does look pretty good. She doesn't. The glasses? The glasses look good. Her eyes aren't on the same plate. Her eyes are crazy looking. No, she looks nutty. You're wrong. You mean she looks great. She looks crazy.

She looks better now than she did back then. You're wrong about that. Let me see. Is that her now? Tori Amos was cute, dude. Tori Amos. You know. How many times musta been,

to being to boo? I thought on that song, Lou. That's my jam. She's addicted to nicotine patches. It's called a... Oh, see it all. I need the Franco writes the lyrics of your heart. It's true.

But you don't know really well. Jay. Spark. Spark. Jay, yeah, I fucked Wanted Tori Amos's Rodies is that true. Yeah, no way sweat a guard Christine her Rodies in boss female Rodies I waited tables at Lafamalia Jojo's okay blonde chick muscle check, okay, you know kind of With Mohawk tattoos on the side of her head came in for lunch. Okay, you know, kind of with Mohawk tattoos on the side of her head came in for lunch.

Okay. Tells me, I'm flirt weather. Tori Amos, she's there for the Tori. She's like a rodeo whatever. Tori's with Tori in town for the concert. I took her after work, she met me and I took her to a fucking carnival road roller coasters. We're here hair cup alarmed. You figure really run around like it's like a dog park for Mohawk chicks. Went back to my house, my shitty apartment in the ghetto. Y'all was a palace to her. And she had a one piece little thing. One of the yeah, took her jeans off the top like Christine you wear a one piece right? Sometimes.

I'm a fan of a presentation finding out something's a one piece. It was underneath. I love it. Took it off. She was a bodybuilder. If it snapped over your gash. Tattoo's on the side of her head. Oh.

Fuck it. We had the most amazing sex ever. Never saw her again. Really? Never. She's vanished. That was before like cell phones and shit. You fucked B.A. Baracas. I think you were my pager number. Ha ha ha.

Hey, hey, hey. Let me feel though. Sweet, I don't want it again and again. Don't, don't read it. Save the little lord it. The circus will Need it do I sound like a Beyonce right here you don't English no a little English twang dude I don't know if I put a little something I put a little schmutz on it

But a little spin on it. Yeah, I threw away a little schmutz on it. Put a little spin on it. Yeah, after wearing a little schmutz on it. Put a little T-Sip. But bring the video, yeah, when she was young. She was hot, for sure. Dude, that the photo of her with the straight hair looks all right. What, today? Yeah, the one that you're showing her. She's batshit looking now.

Oh my god. She's not batshit looking, she's just older. I mean, she's got to be like 55, 60. I don't know what she's under from her neck down I have no idea, but that photo right there. She does not look bad. She looks like 59 years old. She wow. Yeah 1963 she has grape you So she's dying her hair red. Yeah, her hair's orange red pumpkin red and then she has a gray patch. That's nuts And she's got fucking uh fuck rip Taylor glasses the bob Kelly glasses she a fucking douchebag bob glasses

she has big big glasses yeah she's got douchebag Kelly glasses on I like him that's my middle is what I like it she's got goofy glasses the whole mouth area is just that old lady she's like gonna be bitchy. You know she already hates you, you're a guy. She's so much wisdom. What? What wisdom is she having? She had a lot of wisdom.

She had a lot of wisdom. Her songs are fucking, I mean, sleep inducing. Listen to this song. No, that's just one. Whoa, fucking. Listen, this is where she's like, Angry Piano play. She's what's loose, dude.

I hate men. The man did done, to take you, smelly penis and get out of my mansion. Take your masculinity. I don't eat meat! And I don't wear fur at all. And I- I'm a buzzkill.

Seven days a week. I've had the most uninteresting conversations. You've ever been a part of. Yeah, so Christine's gonna go fucking shave her back and glue it to her armpits and go to the show tomorrow. I'm Harry Cap. Ah, that was a good man double shot. That was a two for Tuesday, Christine. You just got two for Tuesday. You weren't even in the fight except you keep saying she's hot and she's not. She's not bad.

She was hot. I said she looks good. I said she was hot. I did. That was me. Yeah, look, I don't know about you, Christine. Not always. Not always.

Jesus Christ with you. Did you lose being Quigzy secretly loves her? You like her? I don't really know her. I like I need to Frank or though she can get it She can get it. Yeah, you think she's hot, but all this music all the music is the same right? It's all about for a dig rock. I'm done a young Liz fair. She can get it All those music is the same shit right? Oh

Yeah, yeah, get your hands off of me you son of a bitch Oh, yeah, yeah, get your hands off of me, you son of a bitch. This is all the... My body, my choice, rock. Yeah, I can keep it. No way, dude. All right, I can kill it. Is that whatever song? She looks like Greg Roguel.

Oh, she's terrible. God, she's hot. Damn, not right now. I haven't seen her. Look at that. Not right now. Back in the day, I thought she was hot. You were wrong then, too, though.

Yeah, she's terrible. I like queers. Yeah, we didn't. She never wipes her ass enough. She definitely thinks that it's always clean, but it's not. Yeah. And you know, when you get out of her dirty ass jeans, now she shaved her head.

She's, after she goes to Batham, there's always like a piece of lettuce still floating after she flushes. Oh my God. She looks like Danny Elton with AIDS. She's not bad. She's not. I like that.

No, she's ugly. Tell her I said so. Tell her I said so. Spread the word into Frunkle, you're ugly. She looks like she just recovered from everything. She, I hate her. She's ruined my life for several years. Christine goes in the phases and it's, I hate it. Oh my God. You have

to listen to the shit in the house. She's made me yeah. Oh, she has to play it loud enough so I don't hear singing along like like a lunatic. I don't think Christine knows today. I heard her trying to kick up the... Don't make me close one mother. I was taking a word. I was actually turning it in the mouth. Is that Whitney? Yeah, I don't mind Whitney. No, I wasn't minding it because I just heard Christine start making. And then he said he doesn't like that song.

Jayly doesn't like anything. Jayly doesn't like anything. I love so much stuff. You did. Jay does a lot of weird music. This is one of the things that I love about him is that stuff that he did that he didn't even like. he likes. You know, you know, like this song? I do not like this song. It stinks. Good new feeling. Yeah, you have no emotions, Jay. This tour really,

I guess, the seapath. This tour is really breaking you down as a human. That's not true. Dude, you know, you got to take a break. It's opening me to a cult-like family. No, this song stinks. I'll be here. I don't hate when he used to him, but this song stinks. Ah! Who don't make me ha! You like it, Lou. I do yes

I like watching you do it Don't walk away from me Don't walk around Let's go I'm in your mouth Staying for life Here for you, yeah I'm a little boy in the bed You be there Don't walk away from me

No! I'm don't walk away from me Don't you dare walk away from me Boy I don't know who this is I know it Don't you dare! What the way from me! Boy! I don't know the song! I know it! Nothing! Don't!

I love you! Woo! Woo! This movie sucks shit and the song bites ass. Are you fucking don't like the bodyguard? Nope. You know what I like it better when it was called the last dragon. Same story, same story.

Yeah, big difference. Uh, shit, your soundtrack. Your last track has got a much better soundtrack. Just having cost was the shit. Did you bring up the glow? Take life one day at the time. You tell me this isn't a better song than that. Let me hear it.

That's the glow, right? Now go to the... What's the... You want the last dragon? Yeah, yeah, the last dragon. Dude, the bon- I mean, the bonfire. Bonfire is awesome. This song's gonna move you.

I'm saying the bodyguard Mm-hmm great movie Kevin Costner. It's not though. It's stupid shitty movie. Are you crazy? It's a bore It's a sub it's a movie that should be on straight to DVD Please great movie now this this is a better sound track Sounds like top gun Does it though wait a minute wait a, wait a minute, wait a minute. You can't, where are you doing? Jay, you're doing the, uh, you're doing the glow move.

After he figured I was just a belt buckle. It's right. And he never needed it. He never needed the master was in him the whole time. And then you're swishing your hands around. I'm doing the move. You're doing the glow. I don't know. I don't know.

Dude, this song rips. You'll never hear voices like this music again. Turn it up, Lou. I think this is better than Whitney Houston's. I think so much, whatever. I mean, it's like a kid. That's better. Wise man said to me.

Me, ya. I like it. Don't fight. I'm like a... I'm like a... I'm like a... Don't fight. But a wise man said to me Mia I like it Duh Duh I like it I like it I like it I like it

I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it

I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it

I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it but doesn't. I don't know. I don't know. That's hard for a black man to make in an Asian karate world, but he did it. Yes, the last dragon is such a better movie than the bodyguard. I would say it's a funner movie. It's better. I don't know, Whitney Houston. I don't remember the bodyguard.

There were being a scene where the bad guy was holding auditions for villains to go fight somebody. And some of them are wearing football pads and spiky helmets and some damn. Christine bring up the fight auditions and blast dragon. Damn it, he's awesome. That's movies great. It is a great movie. Did I ever show you the whole movie Christine? Yeah, we watched it. Damn it. She's trying to get her watching it tonight.

It's just something where I'm like for you know the bodyguard's like a huge part of my childhood Not that. No, it was it was a movie watchful on time. No, it's like with roadhouse with you Like it was like my mom's favorite movie she loved Kevin Costner. So it was a lady she was a pain and she watched it over and over again now a lot of people are saying And last year I'll just like never be a part of my childhood is before I killed your mom. Yeah, probably The interracial relationship it may have been she was did she run a fluid I did she dehydrate out from jilling off to Kevin Costner because that's what she was doing She doesn't give a fuck about the shitty movie concept She passed away in a reclata jillin off

She could not jill off. Oh really what happened? She was crippled. It's free. It's pretty set up. Christine you set it to jiller Thanks for set me up for that. I'm gonna run the work. You go Jill your mom. I have to get out of here. Hey, how about we're so gross. How about some bonfire context with her mom? Oh, playing music? Christine's mom's dead.

But before she died, she crippled to death. She crippled to death, yeah. Yeah, for 13 years. That was one of the hardest ever made Christine left. Cause I've seen pictures of Christine's mom. Christine looks a lot like her mom. And her mom's beautiful. But she showed me a picture.

This is my mom like a couple months before she passed away. I mean your mom died a one like a legit one. No, Jay that wasn't a couple months before she passed away. That was years before she passed away. Oh yeah, she was a one for a while. It got way worse than that. That was like a cue picture. Yeah.

And she looked like the preacher from Poltergeist too. Oh shit. Did she have the hat? Yeah. It's because honey gods in his holy town. How did she get into a wheeled here? She got multiple sclerosis and it was just how I think it had she in there. I think Christine put her in it. That's why she was a big kid. Christine was a strong child. Christine had a carrier around. He goes, honey, I need you to go pick your mom up like a log, put her in a chair. There's a lot of help in my house growing up. Jamaicans.

Christine has nice shoulders from picking her mom up. Well, if you had one person, if you cared about you, you would have known the last dragon, and it's a better movie than the bodyguard. I was born in 1985 and I'm a girl. When was last dragon popular and for who? For who? I don't know. A vanity was in it. She was a heartthrob.

You are the last dragon. You possess the power of the globe. You're the dragon. Jay thought this is going to be his way out of Philly. That's why he's a lot. What it meant to you, this means the J. This is his ticket out, learning karate as a young Jewish chubby boy.

Yo, can I say something? When I started when I signed up for Play Football and they gave me the shoulder pads, I'd never gave them. But I didn't even play a game of football. I just kept the shoulder pads, though, and I'd wear them at home like I was a last dragon guy Of the glow I never got the shoulder pads on show enough was his name show enough Yeah, I didn't make sense at all didn't make didn't make sense at all

So good, but shoulder pads were a lot Shoulder pads were a lot of the villains in this, but it's like the last dragon was a video. There she is. Is that your mom? Yeah, holy shit. 27 years old there. Why did you weigh her down with the stuffed animals? Maybe if you got those off her lap, she could walk. I want it. It was like that was my vision for the portrait. Like I wanted to put all my stuffed animals on her. You just decorated your size mom. You just took her's proctor up like you just propped her black. That is her smile, by the way.

Oh, you tell she loved it by going, who are you? Why are you putting these things on me? Who is this? Let me go. I just put a weighted blanket on her lap so she can't get up. I'm a victim. Somebody help if anyone's out to help. Their hands are duct tape to the chair arms.

Oh my God. She does this. Look, just like you. If anyone's out to help, they're hands of duct tape to the chair arms. Oh my God, she does this. Look, just like you. Jesus Christ, Bobby. What? That wasn't an attractive picture. Who says that? Not now. I mean, she looks not. Yeah. I don't know how to help you back pedal out of this one. That's crazy. That was the picture I said she died of one. Well, I mean, yeah, yeah Christine you're also a one Christine you're not a one look at me Christine you're beautiful and your mom was pretty even as a one

No, she wasn't still alright whatever Jay. I mean dude. She didn't look bad. She did I mean she looked she didn't look she looked all right. She looked happy with all that shit on her lap She wasn't happy. She was dying Alright, she looked happy with all that shit on her lap. She wasn't happy, she was dying slowly. Christine was using as a prop and she couldn't talk back. She hated it. She just kept spinning it, Christine. Oh, then a Jamaican, a fat Jamaican lady

would come in and probably yell at her for a while. Why you piss yourself again? I'm gonna eat your soup. You can't beat her lunch. That's her, your mom lost weight. Christine, go outside. Well, I eat your mom's soup. You're horny.

A little bit of a dance out here. We both turn into, we turn Jamaican into Irish. It's fine. I'm trying to show you for a good air. This isn't the voices show anymore, guys. I mean, there's gonna be voices. Blitches say it's not the accurate voices show anymore. There you go. There you go.

There you go. There you go. There's when she was trash, she liked Christine. Man, now that is a hot piece of work. Look at her hair too, huh? She's a hairdresser. Can you zoom in on that? Can I see her little bum chin?

She's a little chin too. Wow, your mom was smoking. She was really pretty. She did not look bad in the chair. She did. She looked sad. That was just not look bad in the chair. She did. She looked sad. That was just like, it really was right. It was her happiest moment.

Her baby was spending time with her and decorating her test, and the best she could muster up was, who are you? Get out of here. Well, you can double check the picture. So maybe I just didn't get the smile. There's that's what it was. Yeah, you couldn't double check.

There's no way she's smiling in that. No. Let me see the picture again with her with all that horse shit on her lap. You just waited her down. This is fucking. Is that all your stuff that did she like, like, Disneyland and Mickey Mouse and all that shit? She's not even like Christine. Well, did you get that fucking blanket? Was that her blanket? There's no blanket. That's her skirt. Holy shit. Oh really? Yeah What she a gypsy? Well, she where she had to wear skirts like that because she had a leg bag. How old is she had a what a leg bag? I don't know what that is. You want to find out you want to jump again?

Just piss falls out of her into a bag on her leg Just piss falls out of her into a bag on her leg A closet me bag no like a map up for pee so What what does it go like it goes on her leg? I have to take a jug and go empty it Oh Jay shit you You've been preparing this should I put up with growing up with you wild you've been preparing for this relationship your whole life No, she's been preparing. My parents mom.

No, Bobby. She's been preparing her whole life to be my burden the way her mother was her burden. That's what she's been preparing for. Because guess who has to decorate Christine with stuffed animals now? And Thor pissing the toilet for this guy. Oh shit, do you almost kill me on that? But I just because didn't you living room sitting on the chase

You just throw a bunch of shit on the lap making her watch the last dragon again. Oh, let me see the picture mom She look you could still see the beauty in her face. No, you can't You can't her clavicle goes all the way to her shoulders. That's a deep clav She had a her clavicle goes all the way to her shoulders. That's a deep clav. That's a deep clav. She had a deep clav. Why, you get nice clavs too. She says big traps. What?

She's a goldberg neck Christine. That's why she could take a punch. In the back. All in the neck. All in the neck. You can throw one too. So that's her dress. That's weird.

I can't see it. Let me see. Yeah. And is that your house growing up? Yeah. Where is that? Redondo Beach. Redondo Beach. No, shit. Mm-hmm. Was your mom like a big surf slush? Surf slush? Was she a surf slush? She was, well, yeah, my dad was a surfer. Oh, really? So, really? So, she went down to the beach and hooked up with surfers. They actually met when her car broke down. It was like her friend she was with new, my dad, who was a mechanic and called him to come help. And she had to pay him.

With the next socks or stuff. She had a sock as dick. And he left it in. That's a story. He wasn't smart of know how babies make him work. So, he left it in. And it the story. He wasn't smart of know how babies make him work, so he left it in. And then there's a child, she's in a chair. Christine's fat.

He worked with chemicals in the house. You got the MS. I don't know. Dude. They're doing it a long time before they had me. Really? Christine would have been a funny, someone's animated series called Little Jane Christine,

like living on the same block and just being too little fucking round kids, just like where their faces are like, like swollen shut by fat. Christine, where'd you ever? Just like my mom's saying, you're like, my dad's not even here. It's your mom's here. Yeah, your dad came to my house with a flashlight last night.

My mom's seeing someone else. I don't know who it is. My mom's seeing your dad. Really? Because your dad's been sleeping over a couple of times a week. I have to watch TV from the living room. Why is your house smell like pee? I could have been both of us. She's so cute.

No, it's my house. Very pretty. So did you serve as a kid? No, I could never get myself up onto the board. I tried to do shoulders. I think I really was a little fat-tubby girl. Oh my god. And I got so many bloody noses trying.

The last time I tried, I was 13. You fell on your face on the board? Well, no, I couldn't jump up to my feet. You have to jump right up to your feet, and I would jump up to my knees knees and then the board would slide out And it happened like having a few time enough where like I didn't get back up. Did your dad try to help you? No, he that was actually with a Friend of mine. He didn't teach me to surf. I don't know if like it was a girl thing or not

But he did teach me like he was really motivated to make me learn how to skate like he was you know when I got a ball no like he wanted me to skate board I couldn't do that I couldn't roll our skate but he did teach me to roll our blade. I can roll a blade. So you roll a blade but you couldn't surf. No. Really? Did your dad surf when you were young? It was kind of before my time I don't remember my dad like going to the beach and coming back surfing. Did he have a surfboard like the the shed? Yeah, we had two in the garage and you and your mother took that from him When your mother stole his happiness that's cool though My uncle surf to they all surf I just I actually said I'm like if I was a boy you guys would have taught me and my uncle just went yep

So it's just a girl thing. I guess so because my cousin Michael knows but like me and my cousin Melanie don't know You disappointed everybody in your life always did you have to go to the beach was like the Christine's the reason I don't surf probably Now I think about priorities. I don't surface because of Christine. I think this you guys didn't surf for the same reasons Oh, you a pop up? Pop up. I mean, I'd like to see if I could hit a pop up. You could hit a pop up right now, Bobby. I could hit a pop up.

Of course I could. What do you got? So you basically kind of warm yourself up. You do the warm almost. Your knees are on the ground right away. You're laying flat and then I don't get the motion of it fully where you like hop up onto your feet Oh DJ look can you show us?

No, I mean on the ground how to do a pop up. Oh the fuck what I know That was the joke It was pretty good. The joke was that you probably can't do the pop. I couldn't tell I was hurting my feet I was just joking if I wanted to see it done. There you go. Here's a pop up right now There's a I think it looks like a young Christine. I could do that. You could do that. Yeah, I could do that.

I feel like I just have more muscle tone down than I did when I was a kid. I'd love to try again. Do a few of your dad? I just like, you know, I love the water. I'd love to be able to surf. Maybe this will make him love you again. Is your dad still alive?

Yeah. All this you friends with him? Yeah. Why don't you friends with him? Yeah. Why don't you call him and say dad teach me to surf. He can't surf. He was in a hundred and five with COPD. See how to culture the bunch of shit on his lap too, so much. No, no, no, no, no.

Christine waited him down like a piece of paper years ago. He's like healthier now than he was in the night. He's for sure. Let's see. Boom. Yeah, off the knee, yeah. Off the knee onto a toe. This isn't a great thing. So I would get to my knees and just try to.

I can do that. I can do it right now. I feel like I can do it for sure. Let's see it, try it. Right here. Black Lou's not here to film it. I'll film it from it. I got it, I got it.

If I can hit the pop up. Yeah, let's see if Jay can hit the pop up I got film right here ready to move that chair Jay's It's a pop up a sir is it called the surfing pop up is that what it's called? All right, Jay's coming over here. I'm gonna film it Guess key my I did a big work out in Nebraska this weekend. Yeah, you're on tour guys him too. We get it Hop on the ground Okay, we're gonna talk about Jay you're gonna lie flat on the board you coming in. I was the way yeah, yeah, there you go. All right now here comes the wave

Right now pop up You did it You did it. I mean your feet were a little wide that left foot would have popped off the board Well, it's gonna kind of go in front of each other. I have it, let's try it again. Jay's on the floor. Surf out. Hey, you having a good time.

Hey, what's up buddy? How you doing? It comes away. Alright, here it comes and pop up. Okay. Oh, you got it, dude. Jay got it. I'm on.

I'm riding the wave. I hope you could do it. You just did it. Yeah, Jay just did it. I just did it. I just took a make-way. Do I go take surf'm riding the wave. I think you could do it. You just did it. Yeah, I just did it. I just took a take surf lessons together. No, I will take them alone though. I'll do it with Bob. Wait, you can't take surf. We're gonna take surf lessons here. Rock away. There's no waves over there. It was a little easier to learn anything. Those are AIDS waves. You can learn to surf with no waves, isn't that?

You have to wait for a big boat to go by. You have to get a wave. Catch a wake. A wakey? A wakey. Jacob wanted to talk to you about... Hi Jacob. How you doing Jacob?

How's Florida? Hot. One second. Sure, you're right there. We can hear you. Sure. Hi Jacob. How you doing Jacob? How's Florida? Hot. One second. Sure. You're right there. We can hear you. Yeah. I'm there. I'm good. It's good down here. You love it. I miss you all. I'll be back soon. Okay. Oh, yeah. And then you're going to be, uh, which one you said you have a torgasm piece. Do you look at the discuss with Bobby? Is our guest here? We're actually trying to figure out the similarities between the tour you're on and the tour I

Was on right very similar Yeah, but the leader of our tools. I didn't need to say things like isn't getting made up people for breaking rules of games Well, not not to you guys maybe behind the scenes no fucking J1 ride the bike today We're behind the scenes. No. J1 ride the bike today. We're behind the scenes all day long. It's all day. You have to most probably dip off for like two hours and go get ready. Every fucking thing I'm doing, you have to film it all the time.

Yeah. Yeah, when you get up like you're, I found something. I found something. I'm not seeing all the foot, like, are they doing something with it? Well, they make like smash cut like compilations of the weekends. They do a lot of it for that,

and they do individual like post, uh, you want a sneaky TV show like I was on? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. This is gonna come out on each day. It's all, I was rolling my back out at one point, like in the Nebraska college gym, at a university in Nebraska, and when I opened my eyes,

when I was not making a pleasant face while I was rolling my back out, and I opened it and they have a boom camera that's like a pen camera almost, like right over me, it's like, oh Jesus. But Bert is also like, I like it and he's right. He's not wrong in the sense of like, Bert's like, who gives a fuck,

like, show him like the good, the bad, and the ugly, but I hate showing my ugly so much. I don't feel like my good is that great. So I really like showing my ugly. So when they really just catch you like a shot where you're like, why? Why'd you get me sitting? Why didn't someone say my fucking back was out

or my ass crack or my whatever, you know, please? It's the worst. Say something. Say something, cut something. Kids, show it higher. So yeah, but it wasn't a blast. Should have a squircon with you every time you they're filming you don't want to just shitty cat just spray it Now the stuff is also fun to the we're doing which I think tour guys and was to this fun shit

It's just funny to have a responsibility during the day. Oh, yeah, we have to do so during the day too Tour guys was fun. I mean while we were doing it, but there was a certain part where I was like, what the fuck? That was electric. We're also not, yeah, also, we're not like contracted to do so much stuff, but you want to do it for Burke, because he's like bringing on this thing,

he's paying great, he's like, you know, it's awesome. Getting paid a good money. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. When you ask somebody, you get paid good money and they go go yeah, it's better than you thought It goes could it be better sure now. Now. It's great. It's very I'm saying it's very

It looks like it's so many ways and a blast it looks like a blast. I mean I Was outside those weekend like was I did one with Lewis yeah? I did with Dan So like between those two I'm like a buddy who's like that close on the doors. Yeah, it was great Like the next two will be interesting because I don't have that But that's kind of fun too because then you like Mean stavros will hang out a lot more than love star I mean, we don't really hang like that. So we'll be bullshitting all day, right and night together. So that's fun

I mean, I'm definitely jealous of it in a good way. I'm like, you know, I have, but I've done it before. Yeah, for sure. I've done it a couple of times. The O and A virus. Less common. So you also didn't have like it was only, oh yeah, the virus, I guess was like that.

Did you guys tour bus in that? No tour bus. We drove to all the things, a flutum. But it was fun. But it was like, they also one day a weekend kind of things, right? It was more of a ball busing thing. We got paid a lot of money.

It was really good money. But like I remember we were flying home once and I think Norton was in first class and then everybody got upgraded. And Billy got upgraded, Patrice got upgraded, Vos got upgraded to first class. And then they upgraded Kenny. They paid to get you use the last seat,

which would have been me. They somehow got Kenny to have it. And I was just by myself and coach. Like we were there. If you're in his Kenny's jug, I think probably needed a little bit more, maybe. But I'm still, I'm saying this, I was flying back in coach with empty seats all around me and you

could just hear them laughing at me and then they started sending stuff back to me like cookies and like some of them me it was fucking humiliating dude it was he was sad and then Kenny do you want my cookie and he would come back with it was terrible there's not that kind of evil on this no there's no evil that wasn't evil and we were stressed out on the virus thing, every single thing. You were stressed. As soon as you were done.

Yeah, they weren't good audiences. As soon as you were done, you were like, you come back like you just fought. Hi, man. And you look at the next guy, good luck, man. Good luck. Do you think, you know, this guy in the front row telling you to go fuck your mother.

That is way different. This is like, by the time you go on on this, like especially if you're on the second half, especially when you're watching people start killing and doing great, you're like, oh man, like let's go and get up there. Yeah, it looks like it's a fucking blast. So I am just.

I am just, yeah man, Bert's doing it right. But I actually, I don't mind, what I don't. I like that. I'm home a little bit of course Yeah, there's gonna be said for that. I love being a burden to both ends right now for sure Yeah, you got to be careful man Yeah, I'm like you mean you a very similar. Yeah, we'll I'll go somewhere do my thing and then I disappear and let's go hang quiet Smoke something. Yeah, no, this is like afterwards like you're hanging in an after party and it's in venue and it's pretty much like invited guests and industry is a lot of industry. No. Oh good. No not a lot of industry but like a lot of crew. You know, I mean you're back there with a lot of the crew and just

kind of hanging out and bullshit. Well, you know, they're working a lot too. But it's just like. I love crew, I love crew hangs. They're the best. I hate when the industry shows up and all of a sudden there's some douche bag. No industry now, the crew and Bert, man it's called a gift or he's lucked out or if Leanne does it for him or something,

but I mean he has a killer like cast of people, like his people, like the worker people, are amazing, his producers, all of them. Are you gonna get a little gift, you think, at the end? The gift was upfront. What was it? You got a bike, a Lamborghini? No, I'll be happy.

I wish I could bring things. It's so hard to bring it in, but I don't. Little Filipino girl, what'd you get? No, it's a bag full of what you'd love this. The swag bag they think about. Really? They put a lot of thought into it. A hammock?

What? Like a good hammock. Now, it's the really good company's hammock and on the tour, they said they're gonna have the, you know, the things for the bases for them. So you could buy the base you would home, or just, you know, you could hook it up as any kind of a hammock, but it's just a hammock.

It's not the, what are you gonna do with the hammock? I'll give it to you. I swear to you, I'm gonna promise you. I was like, I want it. I'll try, I'll try, you know. Thank you. I'll take it. A mini-theragon?

What the fuck is that? You know, this, the- Oh yeah, yeah, oh, that was great, yeah. A mini-theragon. 100% Leanne. It's all Leanne, they say that, but a Polaroid camera. That's cool. Like the new Polaroids in a nice leather case and with like a bunch of film. Good. Oh, I mean, I'm forgetting a pair of pair. Yeah, clothes for sure. A pair of slides, a pair of flip like high brand like flip flops. They're birds. Like, bird has a good deal with slides and a flip-flop thing and they're his, they're great.

Just so much, it's a very thoughtful lecture. Duffle bag, duffle bag. All comes in a duffle bag. Is it the toward duffle bag? Oh, there's also, how about this? They gave us a thing, it's for the road. You can take, it's a lot of health stuff too, because you know, birds like,

we're really in like the health stuff that you, what you call it, there, it's like a Thurmas, but the thermos is like a blender fuck off the time. Yeah, yeah We can see you can find that like thermos blender CV fail. I'm gonna do with that Give it to you I can I have it. I love it. I love thermos blenders. You can have it I like protein shake. You know my pfarts. Oh, yeah It's true. I love Jacob being in the studio

But it really makes me happy that he's in Florida so I can to see this be fart. Oh, I've been toot since I got in here I can feel you I can feel your warmth now you can't I felt it before during the other show. It was that you yeah Really you felt it? Yeah, like the cloud hit you. I was called. I was called. It was a little cold. How are you doing now? No, I didn't do anything. Did you?

I swear to God. I smell like potato chips or something. No, I don't eat chips. I don't think you're fart exactly what you ate smell. I'm, but it's a potato chip smell feels like it could be fart. No, did you have lunch? Did you eat something? No.

No, I don't. Let's introduce our guest, everybody. He just came in the studio hanging out with us. Filming is half hour special for guest digital live in New York City at the cutting room when stage of July 12th. I like that. I hate that. You can get tickets at gasdigital.com slash 30 everybody.

It's the hilarious column. Terrell everyone. Thank you. Thank you. It's up, buddy. Nice. What music do you play? It's like a just a black guy comes in.

Oh, what are you thinking? NWM. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's right. Funk. That's how old the black guy is. Yeah.

Keith Robinson, it's like a funk. Yeah, Shaft. Yeah, Shaft. He's a whole rise of Kays. Yeah. Yes. Um, what was that? Was that like a River Dance?

That's called Charished the Ladies. I don't know. I need to play for Sean Donnelly, because he's Irish. You don't know that, son? You don't know as Charished the Ladies. Come on. Dude, are you even familiar with the work of Sean O'See O'Brien? I don't know. I need to play for Sean Donnelly because he's Irish. You don't know that song? You don't know those chair still ladies Dude are you even familiar with the work of Sean, Sean, Sean, a seal Brian I like Irish music. There's a lot of Irish music that's similar to that. That's horrible But there is similar stuff that does get me when the beats are going

I like Irish music. I my Irish Catholic family for Boston Every holiday might throw on a skirt and go sword fight him other fun. Yeah, I'm not gonna get you hamped. Fucking cut off an English guy's head. Yeah, my cousin used to sing Irish music. We used to go to the bar and watch him sing. It's fucking fun.

I don't know why it hits me so hard because the scene doesn't make sense to it. But my favorite, that Irish music they play at the end of last of the Mohicans when he's running after the guy to go kill the main Indian guy they play it's a pretty great. Is it Irish? What? I mean it's very fiddly. Is that Irish music fiddly? It's not Native American stuff. Yeah. It makes sense right? Yeah why would they play Irish music it well a Mahawk was running to killing white this right here. No, that's that's frontier music That's like that's like a PlayStation games loading yeah

Yeah, that's not I was no I know it is a bit That's that's a Same instruments. Yeah, Fdles but it well I mean the movie's about a white guy who's an Indian so I mean what did everything's upside down it's moving black is white left is right right there yeah the fall your coordinates right there is it working yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh nice you're learning look at these these. Oh, noise. We were just, you missed it.

We were just shitting on Christine's dead mother. Oh good. Yeah. We had a good, we had a good time. She didn't, this is what she left to walk out. Yeah. Is your mom hot? My mom?

Yeah. For age, I think, yeah. I hold 60, a, 65. I have not yet. Because I tell you, Tor tour game is looks busted for 59 She's not holding it together and she looks pretty Irish if you know what I mean. I think she looks alright You don't though. I'm not a fan of redheads. I think she looks all right I think it's a wig though. That's not our hair. It's died for sure. It can't be her hair

She has to be wearing an orange wig her face looks bizarre. She looks like Jane Lynch To the face look now Jane Lynch looks like Dennis Leary. And Dennis Leary looks like Michael Johnnie. And Ellen looks like Kevin Bacon. Welcome back, Christine. Did you greet everyone with your perky nipples as I assume you did on purpose? What a slide. Okay, your nip time.

Yeah, she just rocks them shits. She can't help it. There's more nips these days. You know what's funny? She took it. What'd you say? There's more nips these days. Oh, it's like it's very fashionable to have your nips out.

For sure. Sometimes now in New York City. So it's weird. Yeah, Christine just like those pigs. Yeah. Yeah. Christine, you know what it was? It's a weird rebellion that's unnecessary.

She, years ago when we started dating, I would tell him like, you should throw something on over, like your nipples were like, you can see them through the shirt, like pretty. And so she started wearing, and then it was getting one of those things one day. She took that as like, a man putting his,

like, thumb over her and stealing her shine. I would just like, yeah, I just, you know, if my friends don't have to look at your nips, that'd be cool for me. And then she's like, uh, and then she, and then one day she was like, I'm not gonna like, yeah, Jayce is like, I hate wearing a bra like, dude, whatever, fuck, I didn't tell you half the, I'm just telling, I didn't know you one everyone to look at your nipples. So she does. So now she wears it rebelliously. And I'm like, every day, these fucking pencil arrays are just poking through her I never I never noticed something until you mentioned them now. I I can't not notice

Yeah, I actually I knew because I have a tan body suit and I was like, okay I can't ever do that again because obviously my nipple show through this is black I didn't think they were gonna show and they are showing but I've worn bras and shirts and my nipples still show I like I don't really know what to do. You got strong nipples. You got really strong nipples, yeah. No, you just wear paper thin bras. Well, you know, don't wear any of that. I don't give a shit.

I'm coming to a bikini shirt. I don't give a fuck. I'm just saying it is funny. And she's like, now I don't wear bras. I'm like, okay, but everyone's looking at your nipples because I am pointing it out. Well, you can tell how cold cold is in a room from Christine. For sure.

Right now the room is actually, she turned the heat up because it's warm. Oh, really? Yeah, look. Because when she went over with that water, I would say, I would say this is a three-blanket day for Jacob and here. That's because she went over to a sexy, young Irish con. That was not what that is. Yeah, and then she walked by you.

They went back down. I still call him. Call him, peel down first night of a full load of tour. There was a pullback stage and people started drunkenly jumping in. Yeah. And then it was one of them. It's funny. Burkrasch, I made like a promo and they cut me out so much.

It was like styling. So they use the enemies. And it was like any time I saw most of the shots just disappeared. Oh really? That's hilarious. That's fucking funny. That as funny. I get it. Well, they got Shane Shane bet that he can do a full length underwater of this pool. I was a losing Olympic size pool. It's a game. He's fucking five seconds away from autism. They

can hold their breath forever. Yeah. Not wrong. They called it. They called them submarines. He did it pretty easily. Oh, that's one of my favorite things about Shane. I always tell him anytime he does something, whether we played the basketball game or this or something that Shane does, that's not just drinking and being funny, they always, someone always has to go. I mean, you know, he was like a college athlete. There's so many comics he'd do that too. You know, I'd be if someone, like Pete Corrielli was a person he'd do that too because he

got to play a little college ball. Yeah, I bet Shane a hundred bucks, but that was only because like,lli was the person he stood to. He got to play a little college ball. Haha. Yeah, I bet Shane a hundred bucks. But that was not because like he was really looking for the, he was looking for someone to bat him. He wanted to do a show everyone, but he couldn't just be like, hey guys look at me. He was like, but you think I can't do that kind of like he was fishing around. So I was like, all right. All right.

And maybe so you gave him the glory. I did give him the hundred. I gave him the hundred dollars. You give him the hundred bucks? Yeah, but the fun. Maybe it's my way hundred I gave him the hundred dollars. You give him the hundred bucks Yeah, maybe it's my way back Which got damn right yeah, yeah cuz I wouldn't put them on blast So much money and I was like the last that was a fake Contra that sucks when like rich people take the money

I remember we were when we were doing the tour day in one time he was like do we got a poker I got a poker private poker table for us later. We're all gonna play time. He was like, dude, we got a poker, I got a poker, a private poker table for us later. We're all gonna play poker. And I was like, okay, and we went and it was with our money. We're gonna play with our money. And then he won. And he won. Oh man.

And he kept our money. Yeah. And I'm like, dude, you just made a quarter of a million dollars. Now I was like, remember in the last day, it's Michael Jordan's like beating, winning gambling against the door men at the arena, a 75 year old door guy. But me and Al kept waiting for him to go,

hey dude, here's your money back. And this is so fucked up, this is what he did. He went to the high end slots, where it's like, fuck, in a hundred bucks a spin Mm-hmm anyone another 3500 bucks nice with our money and we will like dude Like we both had to go to the ATM time to catch is a break though. Yeah, you're right. You need to break It is time it's time for him to catch a break Jacob I don't wish now Should we take a break and bring up

I don't know we should now should we take a break and bring up The tourgasm peace you want to bring up Jacob cuz I'd like to go through I think column will enjoy this happy to do it now If you want okay, well, we have no reads great news I wasn't gonna say it, but that's why I came to the conclusion We have no reads but nobody else did except for some other people except for mostly other shows No more reads. Yeah, it's not the games that about that anymore. Not the love of the game. It's not about advertising dollars.

It's just more about like the people wanting here we have to say. We love talking for a very specific amount of time every day. Yeah, for a certain amount of people. Advertisement, schmat advertisement. There's room for that afterwards. Yeah, like.

Loan up on Eddie Trunk ad reads. We had a couple good, we got a bunch, dude. We did a bunch of things this week. So yeah, I'm not going to tell you who, but. You're doing some good shmoues. Megusta. Yeah. T. Yeah.

Oh, was that. Oh, Adios. Oh, someone learning another language. She's in your. Really? Yeah. She's in your, really? Yeah. That's pretty impaired. Do you have the tips and tools and approachable accessible attachment

to language programs? Yes, I do. Oh my God. Yes, we'll learn more about that later in the show. Not this show. The podcast. On the podcast. Don't check out the podcast.

Podcast is also available Yes, I'm Jacob. So you know, can I will you on the show or just go hang out? I was just hanging out just checking out. Oh, I didn't even know you could do how do you do that? What? I Said can I come hang out and he said okay? Oh, maybe I should have done that was a queen. I would have loved it I know but you know, I don't want to show. I would have came to hang out, but I want to be asked. Although I will say this. Nobody asked me the tour.

And this isn't a kind of dig on the thing. That was the first day. Everyone was showing up that day pretty much getting there, figuring out what bus you're on, kind of going through it. Nothing. It wasn't a fun hang. It was different than any other hang though on the tour so far Because there was a lot of like New York comics hanging all of gas Sounds like fun to me a bunch of gas digital was there and so it was hanging out

It was a fun hang, but it wasn't like sounds like fun what the hang is back Yeah, let's go. We're gonna do a tour half loaded dude. I'm gonna get a turtle We're gonna go to Uncle Vinnie's. We'll hang out in the back by the dumpster. Fuckin' do it. I know the dumpster. I'm gonna get you. We got regular push scooters.

Not electric. Fuck that. Is it Uncle Vinnie's to play? We should do an old school fucking tour. Just need you. Is it Uncle Mike Figs or what's hating each other? Is it Uncle Vinnie's to play us where you park? Well, he fights.

Yeah. Is it the place where you park? And it to fight. Yeah, you have the place where you park, and it's, you're probably gonna scratch the shed of your car one day, if you go there. No, you have to know, it's so narrow. Yeah. And then you have to back out of it, and it's terrifying. It's like your mirrors are like in, in, in, on each side.

And like, just pull back there, it goes, is there any other option? Cause I'm not as good as the drivers. You have to be a crazy precise driver to know that you always there's always a puddle that's been there Yeah, for sure. This isn't water. It's got algae. Yeah, it's something else. It's like it never evaporates. It has a rain than weeks Yeah, it's coming from the building You know, I mean it's a place where they peg the beer at the girl Yeah, well the thing I do a fairness. It's a bring bring your own beer. You know what I mean? It's a place where they peg the beer at the girl. Yeah. Well, the thing, the fairness is to bring, bring your own beer. I know. So yeah, yeah.

And they have a nice liquor store. Two doors down. I had an instant last time I was there. But we talked about it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get the whole thing with it. You went outside like go find the guy. It was the greatest. I love when you, I love women fans, but I love that I'm dick heavy. At my fan base is dick heavy. That means they're funny.

When they, good. Cause when you watch the video, like one guy comes out and then two guys, then four, then five, then just 19 big Jersey dudes are coming out just to get involved and fucking this guy up. It was great. Yeah. Oh, what do I want just to do?

Yeah, Matt Rife, what is he going to do? A bunch of women going to come out and fucking yell at them. Mm. Yeah. Kids kill on it. Love them. Yeah, he's crushing it. Yeah, let's get him to do a tour.

Yeah. Fucking bang his extras. Just have a couch. Me and you just on our knees. I don't know if Andrew Schultz and Matt rife got together they could take down Putin Pulse take you mean Putin if you're talking about pussy. Yeah, they could take this on that Putin. Oh my god pants Putin could you imagine That those two on tour wow

Schultz is married. He's mad. Rife is single. Rife is single. He's probably not single, but they have, they have like, old-school Hollywood's like a madman ask. Well, Shultz, I think is pretty openly. Do you hear about that? He's married, but he's a beautiful girl for a long time. Well, Shultz is married.

He's married, actually, yeah. You got a beautiful wedding. Beautiful wife. We're talking about that. So, this guy just sold out. God bless him, great guy. Everybody says that, because we love him. Nobody has a problem with this gig, because he's so nice. Who? Matt right. Oh, Matt right.

But he saw what was talking about just showing up at his gig and they were giving away. Oh, Matt right off this one. No, tickets. It's not it is. No, there was if it wasn't even you not gonna say they were you were entered into a You bought a ticket to see Dan soda you were entered into a raffle to maybe get a Mike Matt what the fuck is it? One mat wife ticket Matt one day one so they went out They went out instead of buying Facebook ads for soda or whatever radio They said we'll buy one right, which is like a golden ticket and we'll raffle that off if you come and see Dan.

So what's happening on Matt Rife, I found that because I talked to, it's crazy. I think I saw the Omaha funny bone people were backstage the last night of the tour this weekend and they said, oh man, we got our Matt Rife weekend like coming up pretty soon. I'm like, I thought he's doing like a renazm

and whatever, he's still on the, but he's still just like, contractually locked to some club still. So these clubs are gonna be fucking overwhelmed and then underperforming alcohol wise. That's the problem with the- Underage kids. With those, well just like a bunch of girls, like they said, it's 100% white claws.

And it's not, they don't drink like dudes, like bring us a bucket of claws. Yeah, it's not a Jim Florentine show. Yeah, I mean that's the clubs used to complain about Dane when he would come in because it was all coach and fucking chicken fingers and then Bert would come in and Bert made more money for the bar. He would bring, remember when he first started doing clubs and killing it, he would break all the bar records at the clubs. That's why the club's fucking love it. And I was gonna say one of the reasons that I do was

we just have like Legion of Skanks and Bonfire and all of the, coming from opening for a tell of those years, my audience drinks and they love that. Yeah. They drink and they tip, but that's a, you know, cock heavy. Cock heavy man, you know, cock heavy. Cock heavy, man. You gotta be cock heavy.

But Jacob, I'm so sorry. You were gonna tell us that we're saying the tours are very similar to tour gasm. But tour gasm was only four comics, a very defined leader, which we also have on this one. Can I fuck off? What? I don't know, you're not a leader.

Well, birds like to lead. No, it was like, it was Dean Cook's tour. Okay. And birds tour. Can I just can I just stop it for a second? Am I wrong? It was supposed to be it wasn't supposed to be. When we were pitched to me and Gary were pitched the tour. It was all of us going out together. And we're all going to have our names on the bus. I told you. I know, but our names are all on the stuff for fully loaded, but it's

Burke Crisher's fully loaded. But you were a dang cook store. We were all supposed to be, no, this was supposed to be ours together. Are you out of your mind? That's what was told to us. You're crazy. That's what was told. I know.

Is it one of those things that I'm saying it out loud? I've had a lot of these moments in my life. I'm saying it loud. Do you see how crazy that sounds? I've never been more on a day inside about one thing in my life than you were on his tour, you lunatic. Look at how small I was. It was a hundred percent Dane's tour.

Literally, look at my, they tried to hide my fat body. It really bothers me. Look how big. God damn it. But here's the thing, it was Barry Catch represented, Dane, Gary, Jay and not me. So look at, look at where I'm at. Look at where I'm at and they're fucking poster. Who are you with there?

I'm behind Jay Davis. Who are you with there? Who are you managed by then? Steinberg's. I was managed by nobody. Nobody. No, so I had no manager. Matt Frost was my manager and my agent

at the same time time. That's illegal Don't say that well he well That's why he actually on this he was like I can't manage you anymore So I was without management on this whole thing. Yeah, um, that's pretty wild damn Barry kept trying to manage me and I didn't want it and I probably should have that's the bull shit in the business Where I should have just sucked it up and said guy head and I probably would have got a bunch of shit out of it Mm-hmm, but yeah, do look at my, oh, that poster. But it is.

Bert's thing is more fun, though, and it's like, hey guys, come watch me answer sex. Do it was a lot of video games, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I know, the fear's competitive. I'll tell you what, Bert, again, not to sell one over the other. What's Bert's big on though is the recovery of the day.

So there's a lot of just like things there like, I-V-G-S. Well, there's that I-V-Grip stuff, but I mean, genuinely the buses each have like, I told you those boots that go up to like your, yeah, all the way up your thigh and it's like they use the air compression stuff, you just sitting those wherever you want.

It's pretty good. That stuff that people who are in a coma have to wear. Sure, yeah, when you will, you have to drop them. That stuff didn't exist back then. Yeah, that's good. It's true. The tour is so fucked up and they're so messed up,

they have to put, they have to put coma boots on. Yeah. And get drips. Keep making sure our legs are alive still. They have a bus of nurses, traveling around. You're gonna come home after this tour, you're gonna be in a chair with a bunch of stuffed animals

on your lap. You're gonna so much bud light, I don't even like it. Yeah. Come on. You're just being an ally. Just being an ally. I'm not even gonna be here that much, but like you're just, when you're the hair,

it's like I'm just gonna crush Coke Zero's all day. Yeah. I've got a couple beers with everybody. I like now this new era of comedians are all like are on steroids getting their hair transplant yeah and the fucking belly ripped out yeah they're doing all the stuff to well just don't be roided stomach stomach surgery was yes yeah did he in the house, in his sexual reassignment surgeries, what's up? What's up? I got a veg.

I got a baby stomach. What the fuck? What's happening? Other phones? I'm getting the, for the, next week we're going up to Tonya, Tonya, I'm getting the ice bath. I'm gonna start doing it every day. It's a lot.

You did it. I've done it before, yeah. Every day? I'm gonna doing it every day. It's a lot. You did it. I've done it before, yeah. Every day? I'm gonna do it every day. You got a post. I'm gonna post. You got a post, or do I? I'm gonna post.

There's a portable one they make. I found this company and they make it and it has the thing that you don't have to post. Ice in it, it just keeps it cold. Now, it's not the same. What do you mean? They won't work. You got to shovel ice into it.

No, that's part of the thing. That's half the, half the thing. No, this thing keeps the water at 35 degrees. It's not just about the temperature. It's about the actual ice. It's like the ambience. All right, I'll put the ice in it for you guys. It's giant big scoops of ice.

I'll go for it. I'll get giant big scoops. It's gotta be outside in the snow. Show me somebody doing with that big scoops of ice. Joe Rogan. You think those are absolutely big scoops ice in his. No, mostly ice.

He's got a the top the high spot. Absolutely. Top and there's no ice in it. Scoops of ice. There's no scoop. Stuff's in scoops. Shigannix scoops of ice. Stop saying scoops.

Giant scoopers. Don't say scoopers. You're a scooper. What? What is this for? What is what for? The show, I don't know, I want to make people laugh that I'm home in the car.

I don't know. He's remote and special. High space, great for your health. It's great for your health. But no, I do the sauna, I have the sauna and I just made my sauna hotter. I figured out how to make it in the hot. Let's put a Russian guy in there.

Yeah, I put him in there, he's naked and his balls are in my face. Can I say, it's hard to trust you, Bobby, actually. Why are you pointing at me? Because I remember it something. It's your line piece of shit. Yeah, our line piece of shit. Last time we did radio together, your podcast, YKWD,

you had just, this was your big coming out. Being gay? You were off in the wilderness living in the caravan. Yeah, yeah. And you came back. It's not a caravan. It is an Ireland. It's a caravan.

You're off there bearing with the box in there. It's like, it's like a caravan better actually. And then you came back and we were like, we're so proud of you. And you were like, yeah, I just exercised in. I was eating bad, I was moving. I was. I was.

And now and a half of that. No, I was. OK, but you skipped one crucial part that I had to find out on Rogan months later. I'll tell you why about you getting half your belly I'll tell you why I'll tell you why I did that I did not tell people right away Because it is like being gay and I there's people you know now that had it that haven't come out Lucia Gomez I don't know any was the last way well. I'm saying

Lusha Gomez. She's lost. I don't know. I knew it was the last way. Well, I'm saying You're the only one Bobby. Jay. Jay. He's a refund Because they gave me Bobby's other half of his stomach they give me more room I use not can I have that? There you that's a fucking fair question, but I was an hour and a half of you to give us health advice. Well, I'm now on Rogan. I hear you get a stumbling. Can I defend myself please? Well, can you double defend yourself?

I just want to. I don't want to defend myself. I just want to co-sign this notion that we're all aware now that Bobby got half a stomach removed. And Bobby will still, once in a while, tell me in Christine to not do the easy way out. Yeah. And focus on our eating and discipline. It's all about movement.

It's all about moving your body. Move in your body. I will tell you something. I will tell you this. First of all, the day I got the surgery, I'm going to defend myself in two ways. You fit, but it's all you do. The day I got the surgery, you have to move. And it is, I had to walk that night and every, every night

since pretty much. And now I work out four or five days a week with, so I, I work out all the time and I walk and move all the time. I hit at least 10,000 steps a day, which is my thing. So back then, I was eating right, which I still do, and I move, and I work out with weights. Not crazy shit, but I do do that. So, I didn't want to tell people two reasons. I didn't know if I was gonna tell people, but then it got to the point where I was like, I have to let people know because.

You're gonna get such kudos. It's like being gay, people like you. It's such false kudos. You're gonna feel bad. If you're like, you know what, when it's time, gay people like it's such false kudos Yeah, you get to feel bad. I felt bad You know what when you went when it's time and when you want to do it. You'll do look at Bobby He wanted it enough to change his life. Oh, Jay. Jay. I No, no, no, no, no, let me say this about you. I don't give you how proud I am that you did the work Hey, Jay, wait one second. You put your head there and you did the work. I had my stomach taken out. Oh

Bobby was on his way to release in the workout video Bobby's bands Bobby's band exercises. I felt like when I came out of the closet All there guys that have got it done right? Yeah, we're like what the fuck are you doing? I got my stomach stable. I'm coming up, think, think. I want to work. Hey guys, I just want to say one thing. Okay. I love you guys.

Thank you for the support. I didn't work hard, but I got my stomach taken out. Hey bitch! Yeah! I'm coming up. Ah, I feel so much better I think at this point we if we have to go commercial at some point right we still have to take two commercial breaks no matter what So let's take it down and we come back Jacob. We'll start right away with your tour gassum questions all right

Awesome all right We're gonna call him tarot com tarot is filming half hour special for Gastigital live in New York City at the cutting room. On Wednesday, July 12th, get tickets at Gastigital.com slash 30. I'm going to all six. I'm going to all six. I'm going to all six. I mean, one of the funniest stand-ups to hit New York in a long time, so you gotta go check it out.

The whole lineup is killer night and Column's night is also Column and Boss. Boss. And it's almost sold out. Yeah, there's only a few. So you've got to go get them now. Um, it's going to be great night. Great nights. Yeah, make sure you check out Jay. He's on the tour. He's on the Skankfest tour. He's on the, uh, Berk Rysher, Trophil, he loaded all summer long. He's touring, having fun and burning the candle at both. But he's on ozampic. So it's going to be just fine. It's going to be just fine. It's gonna be just fine.

Check him out at bigjcomedy.com. Bobby Kelly's gonna be a new hamster July 27th to the 29th. After that, he's gonna be in Rutherford, Las Vegas, and Rochester, New York. A little mini tour from self. Maybe there'll be a backstage where we could all get topless. For tickets and all tour dates, of course, go to robbercalilive.com and check out Killbox.

Available at LouisCK.com. As well as the audio version, we'll be right back with Colin Terrell hits the bonfire.