The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dan's Last Show Part 2 (feat. Andy Fiori)
Episode Date: March 3, 2023Jay has a heart-warming surprise for Dan's last Bonfire! ...
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And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocarus and Dan Soder
Pologies don't have to win our spokesman. Oh, she bought a shirt on her own. We didn't send her merch. What?
I'm a Paul I'm you know what if I were sticking around this wouldn't have happened
We need some merch. That's is why I'm leaving. Why does she not have our panties, our crotchless panties?
Our-
What about the Sibian that you built?
Our butt plugs, the bonfire Sibian, the toilet cam.
The double-sided build though, named after Jacob Atat.
The Chuck Barrier collab, the toilet cam.
You're like, I want to-
Fuck.
Yo, you like that fog.
I want you to fog.
I want you to fog. I want you that fall. I want you to fall. I'll give you a thought
Speaking of shout out to Lynn and hard Corey. They're a part of the
For a while there
Yeah, I missed them at least figure. I'll see him again down the road. Yeah, I walk by it
We walk by the smoke spot a couple days ago. Yeah, that's a group after Margaritaville
We walked to the smoke spot smoke break days ago. Yeah, it has a group. After Margaritaville, we walked to the smoke spot.
Smoke break?
Smoke break was great.
What a good piece.
Remember we were having such great content?
We had such great content.
And then when we were like, hey, we should do more of that.
They not only said no more of that.
They stopped doing it all together.
Yeah, they got a whole entire video department.
We had the lunch with Comedy Central.
And we were like, by the way, stand by this idea.
We're like, you can, you film two hours of us.
If you film four hours of us,
you can get two half hour episodes
that are very funny, the canary on Sunday nights
on your television channel.
They're like, no, I think David Spade
was a far-known microphone at the time.
They were like, we don't know what we're gonna do.
I mean, it was almost something like that.
They were like, David Spade's something.
I love David Spade.
Me too. Something to do with that, but they was like, okay, here's like a finished idea, and they were like we don't know what we're gonna be almost some luck. They're like David spades something. I love David's Spade me to something to do with that, but they was like
Okay, here's like a finished idea and they were like yeah, or no it was already done
They was that was for week nights with David spacing out with the Sunday when they said they go
They'll put the money to broadcast thing for Sunday night and you go dude
It's not even a new product. You're just taking a thing that's already made and reshaping it. It's already made play
Yeah, you got the raw materials.
We'll edit it.
Lynn would have done it.
Yeah, Lynn would have done it.
We would have done it.
We're in hardcorey.
Instead, they fired us.
They fired them for us having the idea.
Yeah.
And then it stopped showing up.
The audacity of us, apparently.
And then a virus almost killed the world.
Mm-hmm.
Is it their fault?
Was it made in Wuhan or was it made in Comedy Central's office?
Yes, I heard Hardcore was filming a lesbian porn in Wuhan.
Son of a bitch.
Called laboratory horse.
I thought it was going to call bat, I thought you were going to call batwings.
Yeah, batwings. Speaking of batwings.
Now that it's into the salacious hour of my life.
The children are gone now because you know what happened was
I made the black joke and no one left because everybody that
Merle realized how bad they want to see Rachel's all is all as pussy
But lose whole family was here. Yeah
And we were like so we couldn't possibly do it. So when I made the black joke
You guys didn't listen because everyone was just looking at Rachel's all is right. You are picturing like
Well, I wonder what it is. Well, you got this well do something Christine Fappello. It was how you do this now
Fappello.com
You could type in anyone's name and it'll show you pictures of them. It exists
There's a lot of things that go to Fappello to know
You're on Fappello? Spell Fappello
F-A-P-E-L-O Fappello Your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your naked with a guitar in front of your garage Yeah, yeah, on your guitar. I called it cock rock. Yeah, I called to this
Did I remember when we were doing the pandemic shows we first started doing the pandemic shows
You started seeing where everyone was broadcasting from like Jacob and his haunted room of dolls
I fully shaved dude. I know that that was when I got me was furious when you we saw all your acts is on the wall
Oh that one
By the way Rachel is on her
On Rachel Dole's was only fan she posted the story of the new girl who did the lying about her
Do you think she's race? She's like, ah she she biting she biting my style
Pussy
She does nude cooking I find that fun. Well, that's always fun. It's right too
Hard tattoo it's Africa. Oh this lady red ring him red Africa. Oh, this lady red-green.
So this woman was pretending to be Middle Eastern?
Yeah, this is the reason they just happened, yeah.
Damn, dude.
Yeah, she was a white girl who, again, seemed like Rachel Dolls all became like the head
of the Muslim.
It's very specific.
It was like, I wish Muslim, she's like neither.
Yeah.
Whatever the other thing was, I forget. But it's like. Why don't you hilarious ball wins. It's very specific. It was like I wish Muslim she's like neither. Yeah. On those to whenever the other thing was I forget but it's like a hilarious baldwinds.
It's so weird. What a weird.
Is that the world where people just like I'm gonna live my life as a character?
I'm gonna come pick a character like a video game and I'm just gonna be that character. It's such a weird.
I hope you guys will keep me in check when I come back with my Scottish accent.
I go Jason spent a long time since I've done a show with you.
Things that are a little different.
Far more.
Now I'm living in the
question. Your name is Danny Sheepskins.
Don McFarland.
How do you do Jason?
By the way, she was a cute white girl and a very stern looking.
Damn, look at her, dude.
Stern looking Muslim lady, because she had to put on lacquer tan.
Yeah, they look like they got her looking like Natalie Portman in the
first two stars yeah
yeah
well I didn't even notice that she got old boxer face yeah she was I was like the
news they also resigned from their job as leader of the Muslim movement
oh did they oh that was that was, they resigned?
They didn't fire her?
She was like, you know what, guys?
Now the cat's out of the bag.
I should probably sit down since I know nothing
about the Muslim faith.
You know, it's crazy.
I'm a Piscopalian.
I just really enjoy head wraps and fun scarfs.
I love eating hummus.
It's crazy.
You throw one of those on.
You're next to Farrakin in a week.
She goes, it's permanent jammy day
By the way, it's always a Rachel don't trust a Rachel dude. They're not what they say. They are
Is Rachel fine-stained even Jewish probably not stolen valor? She's some Italian
I'm gonna hit this shit now. I'm a black woman. Oh
Those voices were just indicators
They were clues damn she really does have Sean Michael eyes
Yeah, yeah, she's got a goofball live for sure. Which cute chick.
Dun dun dun dun. She has intense face like Jada Pinkett.
Like she's gonna yell everything she says.
Damn, I want to know if you have water. Not will you get it for me?
He did. Me trying to explain that to my ex girlfriend when I told
you that story, the hot actress, when she was at a dinner party
and then I was at the seller and she was like, I'll meet you at your, she was in Queens
and she's like, I'll meet you at your apartment in Queens. She's at a friend's house at a
fucking dinner party and I was like, great, I got food from the seller and I get home and
she's like, on the phone she goes, yeah, they did it. She was like being vegetarian that
week and she's like, they had steak and I was like oh shit i and then she got home was
like did you order me sushi i was like what's up
and she was like
yet told you i was hungry and i go okay
i got food from the seller but also knowing me
maybe this was on me that i'm telling it to me i'm like here's a thing by
the way
did you order me sushi sounds bat shit
Coming out of nowhere, but it but and she never said before will you order me soon? Then then I'm with you on this 100% but it is funny that even if she told you she was hungry
You may have still just come home with yeah
Yeah, but I just I came home with seller food and then she was like did you order and then she got furious
We got into a massive fight and I was like like, did you order it? And then she got furious. We got into a massive fight. And I was like, you never said to order it.
She goes, I told you I was hungry.
And I went, fucking sick.
You're an adult.
And you know I'm vegetarian this week.
So later after we made up, I was like, yeah,
that was like the scene in white man Kendra.
You make up, you go.
You wanna try this beef?
How about this sushi roll?
I'm gonna put my beef in your fish.
Yeah, I was just dead, you know.
I haven't my turf meet your surf.
My dick's looking a little weird,
they're looking like a little kiosk.
She, we made up on whatever,
and then I tried, that's what I knew
I was gonna break up with her,
because I tried explaining to her
the white man can't jump scene,
and then I showed it to her on YouTube.
I was like, that was like our fight. And she goes, I don't get it. And I was like, yeah, this is.
I will never bring you sushi if you don't ask it yet. You idiot. You should say sushi. Say the word.
You could never do good on shepherdy. You are half retarded. She's such a wild princess thing to say.
Did you bring me sushi? Did you order me sushi?
Did you order me sushi?
No, why?
I've never seen a boyfriend
so at the end of his rope of relationship
that when little bad things happen,
you kind of have one of these off the side.
Like, fuck.
When you waterboard her,
like when she, when she kind of ran off to go,
like, you know, get the salt out of her eyes or whatever
Like Dan kind of like he's kind of like it's really funny though
Like Dan knew it was very funny right away me and Christine were trying so hard not to laugh Jay Christine
And then my ex and I were swimming at the pool for where a boneroo in 2015 right is the show before the show started
Right before the show started we did boneroo and then Bonfire started. Yeah, we did the test show.
We did the test show.
Yep.
We had done the dance soda with special guests.
Big Joe, because someone had a tweet where they're like,
big J. should call it the big J.
and Oakerson show with special guests for our record.
Kelly.
Yeah.
Just do it with, do to him what they did to you.
But we just for six weeks.
Just for six.
So we went out to Bono and we were all swimming
at the hotel pool.
And then like the girl I was dating tried to swim a land of the water and I grabbed her ankles
and I pulled her back. I pulled her back towards me. But I didn't realize that water was rushing
up her nose because I was pulling her back. I was just a cute girl who's like all just about being cute. Have they go, fuck off my face.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
And she was mad.
She didn't like come out laughing, which is like,
if I did that thing.
You got to laugh and she came out like,
if I did that to, that's not real.
If I did that to Kathy, if I did that to Old Cath,
she would find that hilarious.
Katie would be like, that was very funny.
She would be like, you fucking dickhead,
but she would find it funny.
I knew that she wasn't gonna,
I knew my ex wasn't gonna find it funny.
And so she got up and was like,
dude, oh, no, no, no, no,
she had a magazine fold down conversation
about having Wendy's food.
Yeah, but she had a book.
She had a book.
You don't wear?
We kept, we had the guys,
we were gonna go some Wendy's,
she goes, Wendy's right now, he goes.
Yeah, I don't know. She lowered her sunglasses, you're going where? No, we're gonna go get some Wendy's. She goes, Wendy's right now, he goes. Yeah, I don't know.
She's got the sunglasses, you're going where?
No, we went, the thing is, we went at the end of the van,
the van was dropping us off, and Jay and I,
to the driver were like, can you get us Wendy's?
And they're like, yeah, we can take you to Wendy's.
Or is that where we can drive through this time of night?
He's like, there's a Wendy's, I was like,
it's cooking Wendy's, and my ex got out,
and she ate clean, and so she was like,
what are you doing? I was like, I'm gonna go get Wendy's, Wendy's from Wendy's, she's like, you're going to Wendy's and my ex got out and you know she ate clean. And so she was like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm gonna go get Wendy's one thing from Wendy's.
She's like, you're going to Wendy's and I was like, yeah, do you want?
We're gonna go to Wendy's and she was like, you're going to Wendy's.
And I went, yes, I'm going to Wendy's and she was like, and then stormed off.
I didn't even come home.
And then we shut the door.
We shut the door and then that's when Jane Christine were like I remember this
Dan we love you and you know we're always gonna
Right, dude, we know we're all yeah, they're like they really they started it with you know
We're always gonna love who you love know you're wrong about that. That was the phone
I called you the next day from the airport. Oh sober to be like hey dude, I know we were a little like we were all just
diving in there. You were doing it too. We weren't like you uncorked me. Yeah, you said it now
it's like it's fucking sucked. It sucked this whole week. I don't know and do the
entered so the funny part, the reason I'm telling the story is we get back from Wendy's
and I come in the hotel room and she's sitting in the bed like like with her legs under the sheets.
All the lights are off except the reading lamp.
It's a movie scene.
And she's got her book.
She's like reading her book and she goes,
so you got Wendy's and you're like,
and I sat down and took the burgers out of the bag and went,
all right, what the fuck is this?
I just remember being at the end of my rope and being like,
are you fucking kidding me?
I'm an adult coming in.
You couldn't even enjoy it.
You're gonna eat it and be like, yeah, it was. It I'm an adult. I'm an even enjoyer. Cause you're gonna eat him. Yeah, it was.
It's exactly what a that was.
Yago is still pretty good.
It's still taste good. But then, but now,
but now you know, chicken ranch, but you're not getting
through the enjoyer. You're, you're, you're eating it also
probably much quicker thinking about like, it's not even
good for me. It sucks for I shouldn't be.
Yeah. I'm so don't join my weekend.
I'm watching with can I tell you where it sucked?
I ate and then it's awkward.
So there's no choice but just to go to bed.
So I went to bed and then got hurt for it.
Be first.
Just be hit and or touch up.
But then you knew when we went to the airport the next day,
it was because she was going back to LA.
I was coming back here.
It was like that man walking.
Yeah, well the room still smells like Wendy's the next day.
When I opened the thing, I'm like, huh? But yeah, well the room still smells like Wendy's the next day
But yeah, that was that was the beginning of
The bonfire
I wonder if I still have that album
The show pony pictures that you showed with the new one. Yeah, that's the greatest. Oh, yeah, yeah. Her new I showed Jacob. She's got a hot hot new boyfriend. Don't put this out as a clip. Sons of bitches.
Uh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have never much. It doesn't matter.
I'm gonna ask you off. Was I still on a clip? I said neck like Richard Dent now.
I still want to clip it to the neck like Richard Dent now
That's hilarious. I mean just fucking jacked
What it is the jack I don't know I don't even know who to be a jack commercial break will get some names Yeah, I just showed one of my exes has a hot new boyfriend
They've been together a while and they take real gay pictures together
You gotta show me and it's it's the one where it's like, are you getting Wendy's?
And you're like, oh yeah, they don't eat Wendy's.
They farm raised everything.
Jacob also, you can't dress like a child molester
and then show us pictures of your handsome shirtless nephew.
Yeah, you do look like,
by the way, you do look like you have a kid
napped in the basement.
You groomed him to send them.
Yeah.
Hey, maybe a little pick me up door my work day. Hey, you know, if you tell anybody that I keep you down here,
we can't be friends anymore. Be a real shame if we couldn't be friends.
Dad's gonna kick both our asses. Yeah, and we can't do our special hugs.
Yeah.
And we can't do our hugs is that what you want? You don't want to take off our shirts and kiss.
You're going to be kiss buddies.
Um, so many classic moments to show and the show moments will live on.
Dude, we have a whole library and you guys have a whole
faction talk series XM, Syrifection talk to series XM 104,
which is just replays of me and Dan episode the whole
library now I'm about to jam you up and court something. Now I will tell you
murals about to have a golden collar. Oh, you know, I am. We might throw on some
soda shows. The very first test shows I think those would be fun to replay at some point.
Yeah, for sure, the old comedy central stage.
I mean, when we started getting in trouble
in the first year, where we started getting like,
about the first show, we were not,
we did about 20 minutes of show.
I realized we're not here.
You don't have that audio, right?
There's no way that you have the mic audio
of what we were saying.
I do, and I heard it.
You actually hear what we did.
Yeah, the first 20 minutes.
The lost. It really was the lost. Lost tapes. It was like and I aired it. You actually aired, we did, the first 20 minutes. The lost, it really was the-
The lost lost tapes.
It was like seven minutes you guys were off the air
and you didn't, I, no one told you.
Do you remember?
I did, but then we were off the air for-
I was more than five minutes.
We were off the air for about almost 20 minutes.
Yeah, it was, it was the first 20 minutes.
We may have talked for seven and realized
that we weren't go, we were deep in a thing.
So we were already in a conversation about things,
we get that white, where's the best white trash place in America? Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, first segment. Well, I think what I remember is we came out of a cannon because we are so
excited because we had been fucking waiting. Oh, no. We've been waiting for to start this fucking show.
I'm wrong. Our weird arguments was like put the CD in. And. Jacob's like there's no CD player. I'm just a CD player.
You know, the only thing that's serious,
I'm like, this is the headquarters, right?
I remember, I was just gonna say having me,
Jacob and I had heat with each other
because we bought that mixtape from Times Square.
Yes.
And I went, Jacob, can you play this?
And he goes, no.
And I go, what do you mean he goes,
we don't have a CD player go, this is a million dollar company.
You don't have a fucking CD player and you're like
Multimillion dollar company multi-million dollar yeah
I got about one. Yeah, and he was like
This is a one million dollar company
Right right at there, but Jacob went now cuz we're recording the show with the other CD player and I was like what but it's
That's the only technology you guys have yeah, but we figured it out
Yeah, like did we well turns out
If you hit your foot on anything below the consoles here it opens up a new wall of wires
Circuit boards there is watch didn't want to see me faulty this one over here
Hey Jay look
It did mind where there is look at all that wires, Christ knows what we don't even work here.
We're just fans. I could end this whole broadcast right now. I'll do what that hippie did to
force Gump and just pull out all the wires from the back of the thing. Hey Luke, do you think
there's a fixed the board if I pour di Dr. Pepper all over it? Hey, Heineken Zero goes
good with electricity, right? I remember Ben and, can I tell you one of the hardest
I've ever laughed on this show, thanks to the campers,
was when Ben and Deb had their show
and pre-broad casted it over our show
and campers called in and busted Ben's ass
about liking porn.
I don't know, he knows it, had a legitimate golf question, but I know that but it was just like
With people ask questions and the person doesn't get to being fucked with right away. It's such a funny pause. He goes ban
What's with orange like what what's that?
Why do you love orange? Why don't learn so much?
Fan orange I guess like do I wear a little orange and you notice it?
I thought you say you notice something is like do I wear a little orange and you notice it? That's why he said you notice something is like do I wear orange?
It's the it's the tiny members that are popping back in my head. Do you guys remember Dave who's saying?
He said the guy look like Sudama saying
You're all of your hits coming in
This thing to the only classic rock station in Baghdad
I'm not wanting to do the only classic rock station in Baghdad
Is not his fault he doesn't hate America. Oh man. Yeah, those are like the fun things Now jumpy checker we thought we said remember when you found shed hangs for the first time
That was one of the hardest laugh I've ever had in my life is realizing Tom Hanks is a rapper. Yeah, that was I will say
Easily the fit my favorite
Nemesis was John Fugel saying
The Fugel saying we're gonna say his name now because we're just guests
Yeah, he walked by us in the hallway the other day. Who was I with?
I was with Christine and Jacob and he came in and walked through here like a little late and he came in to walked by us in the hallway of the other day. Who was I with I was with Christine and Jacob and he came in and walks
We're here like a little late and he came in to walk by us and I was like
No, didn't even give me a nod. I just I kept talking to Christine
Wow
What a weener. I mean dude, but that beef was so fun
Yeah, you know what the HR is we can't say his name. Yeah, black. We're gonna see yeah
I'm gonna talk about
Black what's up? I just don't know for sure
limitations
The Dave Hussein show. Yeah, we were talking about is now called this is happening. That's on faction talk 103
Really?
Shout out Dave Hussein
This is not happening
This one goes out to the cards
We were pretty shindy to you, but I hope it gets better
Well, the way I know if this is happening is a good name for a Dave Hussein
Sure, yeah, because this is happening
Make your peace with that
Show me the random
Andy, show me, it's my last day, I don't give a fuck
No, I mean it
No, I mean
Yep
You can't because I'm with it
I know, damn it
When you got reprimanded you got reprimanded
We're a naughty boy. We talked about it. I don't think we're supposed to know no you well you can't get into specific
Still, but that was a we're very we're like six months in it was like we have a good thing going
You know, it's one of the cool. Yeah, they were gonna bag me for sure
You know, it's one of the coolest memories is when we agreed to go four days a week
And me and you got burgers with Ron Bennington and he told me how to do the week. That was fucking awesome
That was like one of my favorite moments. That was pretty awesome
Have an eradio stepdad tell us what to do with our show. It was fucking
I mean such an inspiration and
Still argue be the best that I've ever done it. Yeah with just being funny on the microphone the most entertaining
Yeah, man, I love Ron Bennington.
And I love the Bennington show.
And it's been fun being, I remember being,
you called it OP's broom closet.
And it's crazy that we've been in studios like twice now.
Like that's how long we've been around.
Other studios.
We've like, Joe and back.
We went back to, but we were in five and then now we're in
this one, which is the same way out of the company.
We started in 12, then we got moved to three others. And then we came back this one, which is the same way. When they had a band in the company, we got moved to three others.
And we came back to 12, which was rid of was a
nigga like a year.
Yeah, standing was it was what we had to we're like next to each
other. Yeah, if we did it was a test, just never forget that.
Though, I mean, the page entry and the red carpet experience
is a gig. Nikki Glazer.
Why? And by the way, and then she did a year and was like,
actually, I'm just gonna do my own podcast.
I'm out.
And for a year beyond that, her picture still
on the big board out there.
12 times the size of me and Dan's picture.
I remember, they're never gonna have a picture
of Bobby Kelly up there.
I remember specifically, Jay and I being like,
you know, kind of essential is got a lot going on.
There's not paying attention to their channels. Just that show and you're like, oh, okay., Conor Essentials got a lot going on. There's not paying attention to their channels.
Just that show and you're like,
oh, okay.
The next day, whole big board was there.
Paying attention, they're paying attention to the show
or the channel.
I mean, it was so fun.
I mean, working up in the comedy offices,
our KIPUP episode, I still remember that,
trying to do KIPUPs.
How about a, how about a slow dance party?
Tell the wet's bucket slow dance party.
One of my favorites, remember the massage or the cuddle party
We get we threw for DJ Lou. I do can the codler
You know what I love is when black Lou joined the show
He jumped now that your wife is gone. We can say this when we got the stripper remember how excited this before you were married
Black Lou was so excited when we got and he's like fuck yeah, dude
This is awesome because I think one of you guys didn't want the lap dance
He made it rain well black Lou's got classic like married guy energy when we got and he's like, fuck yeah, dude, this is awesome. Because I think one of you guys didn't want the lap dance.
He made it rain.
Well, Black Lewis got classic like married guy energy.
It's like he's not cheating.
No.
So it's like all the things where it's like, yeah,
it's like a bit, he goes, well, what am I gonna do?
Babe, we had to throw dollars to make it ladies.
Yeah.
It was work.
It was very fun watching that.
It was fun watching Black Luke get so excited
to meet Dak Prescott.
The same way it was fun watching Christine meet
Fran Drescher. Oh Christine meet Fran Drescher
Oh that was exciting
The spokesman for sleep number beds, Dak Prescott, that was pretty cool. How cool is it that we got Red Man and Method Man on?
That is awesome. Method Man during the pandemic, but Red Man was on. He was on. He was nothing we'll remember us. No. But Red Man had fun
We smoked Penn remember we're smoking Penn. Yeah, it's give you a good time with Red Man That was great. Red Man was the shit he came to the comedy office and he was like he had so much fun
I hope I thought evil Jason Miraz I mean the Miraz tapes
Going former I was forgot fire for that. Oh, yeah, calm same faces
Which is by the way my favorite term for people with that
which is by the way my favorite term for people with that I've ever heard of in my life.
It is.
Well, that was the letter.
It was the guy for saying the word retards, what it was.
Yeah, I know, but you know, it's funny.
That's definitely exactly.
I didn't almost get fired, but like a guy was,
he was trying to get like word to,
we just kept getting them,
but they were trying to get words to like the higher up,
say that I should be fired for saying retards.
I remember we were so used to being the fucking forgotten basement child of the comm
essential.
That when we would find out stuff like Rob Thomas like the bonfire.
Yeah.
Like what?
No way.
Gary Clark Jr.
Remember we're in the elevator, Gary Clark Jr. and then he's like respect and then I was
like he likes you.
He didn't know the fuck I am.
He's stupid.
Everything sucks.
Yeah man.
It's the only thing we've never done
is Stern, you know, Stern still has to have you on.
I know I'll be gone.
I'll be up in the, I'll be in Valhalla.
Why the comers of my mind?
Visty water colored memories of the way we were.
Will you leave for your Salt Lake City tomorrow?
Yeah, it's my morning.
Were you doing Monday afternoon?
Nothing.
You want to come on the show?
Were you doing Tuesday afternoon?
I don't know.
Tuesday's the one I don't know.
I really don't know what I'm going to do.
Because it's my whole day.
My whole routine is to go to therapy,
have breakfast with Mike come do to bonfires
Head home now I'm gonna have therapy Mike's in Ohio
Forever just for the week. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do damn
I'd say stay occupied next week. Oh, I'm you know the idea is like they have less
Responsibility for that right now. Yeah, I'm you know the ideas like they have less responsibility to that right now. Yeah, I
would like occupy yourself a little bit. Yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna am I just gonna start
getting into running? Dude, we'll never be in criminal fitness now. I don't know. I told you, I'm
gonna be Danny Gaines. Get ready for my new muscle podcast. Danny Gaines. Showing Gaines with Danny
Gaines. I also might start my you know my bad boy Christian
Podcast oh, I like that. Yeah called Jesus fucking Christ
What was that cuz you go Jesus Christ Jesus Christ putting on my armor my chest
Right just miss too far Jesus Christ Jesus Christ
What are your favorite memories of that we can all give our favorite memory of Dan.
Yeah.
It's all of you.
I know what it is.
Is it when Dan was in Dan Blowbanks
for Halloween that went here?
Remember, we caught a little friendly fire, Jacob.
You shot me in the thigh.
But I didn't make a thing about it.
I was thinking,
God's pus counts, too.
Even before when you guys were doing the test shows, I found that that you guys were gonna have a show together
I
Forced my way onto working on the show because I was such a big kind of both you literally I went to Jacob
I go I know Lou's gonna board up I go I'll just do whatever
But these guys were like well, you're not a cost reader. I go. I don't care. I'll just want to work on the show
Yeah, so that's how I got involved and then I loved when we did our
Jacob is the wizard yeah, yeah, we're right. I mean dude the lives. I love the live shows
This is they're just I show the campers rule the down to do whatever and then I also like pick up on
They're not like we're not like pushing the limits or anything like they're so stupid It's all about why they now just turned into like what play can we run to have Jacob for all?
I'm a jigger gonna do. It's the Jacob Fuggin school of dramatic arts
I gotta say Dan lived the most natural on a cowboy outfit though. Thanks, dude
Sorry Jay. I didn't know you wanted to be a cowboy. It's funny everybody said that that looks like something that I would just normally wear
Yeah, I should normally wear
I think they both scrubbed up nice and cowboy outfits look good with your hat
Well now you guys just got me and my cowboy outfit
You don't have Dan over there. It is perfect cowboy body for his cowboy outfit. I'm sorry
I'm sorry about it the sheriff is right
I'm doing the best I got damn cam with what god damn got Jay
Please I just ask is your friend. Please bring single mom energy for the next two
Even with Bobby you're like get used to Bobby. He makes me happy
Okay, I know about you it's about me because daddy's get lonely sometimes daddy's get lonely
And sometimes they have new dance and the new dance names is Bobby sometimes daddy's get lonely and they need some adult
time with another adult sometimes we like to wrestle in a different way I forget what you're
doing but you're doing cooked up somebody and Jay remember this when you went you went pop quiz
hot shot all we're doing was Dan said that yeah yeah is it pop quiz hot shot I try to remember
exactly what we were talking
It's something about math. Yeah, it was somebody. No, I think it was like
I'm just gonna the movie speed is why but you said that you're like pop quiz
I should that literally that that timing of that
It for something that I don't even remember what we were talking about
I know it's a line from a movie. Yeah, whatever it was a timing that you said that
Fucking kill like I would try to try to like I call
Retell it to people
Whatever it was it was the perfect time. I laughed so hard I started coughing and then I'd throw a moment
I have forever on my phone the possibly the hardest of ever laughed in my life was the ring doorbell
Adry
Where we had to bail on it because we were cry laughing.
Yeah, because it was the guy in his house and then someone's outside and they go,
crisis and you missed the line and you go, crisis a verdict.
And then crisis a verdict.
I want to know.
I want to know. I want to know. I want to know. I want to know.
I want to know.
I want to know.
Jacob fake dancing.
No.
I have that on my phone.
That's the part.
Jay outside. Because when we made Jacob go outside and do a hundred push-ups in front of Deb when she was getting ready for her show.
Yeah, she was show prepping in the hallway.
And Jacob just went out and pushed out. By the way, you went to 100.
He was the Ben was teaching her how to exercise properly.
Oh, I forgot that he used to put the moves on her by the way.
Oh, great. Look.
He was now, what's this going to work here as the side of your glutes.
Oh, right here.
Those are power right there.
Oh, now do you feel me behind you?
Do you feel the presence?
It's a little dirty bird.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were.
They were. They were. They there. We're just sitting there. Dude, I will never forget laughing at Jacob freaking out at naked
R.A. coming in and just running around like a chicken with his head.
Yeah, well the best part is like trying to like try to control a baby who's out of control
who just started out a walk fast. Yeah.
Because when it was everything would do something else like Jacob was like close one side
of the current is any big. We.
And the other side of the car is like, no, no.
Oh, stop.
Well, we know on this window like that's not damaged.
All right, please, please stop it. Yeah, I mean also all the random dumb shit that we've
bought over the years from post-aft to practice nunchucks to gilly suits.
One of the things we've been
of
Remember that guy a life-sash show enough poster.
Remember when the painting paint. No, I know. I'm gonna put it in a house one day.
It's awesome.
It's happening as Kit Katz.
A lot of cool stuff was sent by the people.
A lot of cool stuff.
That show-nuff poster will be presently really well displayed.
It's a cool fucking painting in a house one day.
I also remember this guy was like, I'm gonna listen to the bonfire from the beginning
and talk about all the topics you never got to.
And he didn't get through a year before
of shows, the way I'm out.
We were only two a year, two a week for the first six months.
And he was like, dude, I'm not fucking doing this.
Yeah, and then I mean, I'm going back to Salt Lake City
tomorrow, working wise guys.
But the last time I was there was when we finally got
the deal to come on faction talk and then they gave you COVID yeah and they
tried to kill me remember that's you talk they try to take you down I'm coming
back motherfuckers don't worry dude and now I got nothing to lose yeah just
drown yourself in German deli dude oh dude I'm so. Oh schnitzel and tasty. Yeah, how close to the hotel is it?
Around the corner. Oh bitch. Yeah. Oh, I mean, you know three minute. Oh
Should we do we should do like a story or something for you?
Long tonight, Luke. No, we can't
We're here something for you. Long tonight, Luke.
Come on.
No, we can't.
Oh, you got to replay any.
Look, it's like he's just looked, Dan's sad he's leaving, but he ain't looking,
and the vogue and do our stuff.
I'll do our stuff.
He's like, I'll run three more hours after.
I'll go till midnight, dude.
I have an STR show we get to.
Black Luke.
Can I just throw my favorite, Dan, and a moment out there?
Oh, I should assume you didn't have any.
It's actually my favorite moment with you as well, but it's not from being
on air. Okay. It was the best loss tapes that could have ever been recorded. First year
for me in Moon Tower. Yeah. It was me, Dan J. Christine, Annie Letterman, Kurt Metzger,
and we were watching it. Someone just dropped the special on Netflix. And we were pausing
and shitting all over it.
In the hotel room.
It was the best thing I'd ever fucking seen.
It was fucking amazing.
Yeah, if you watch us eat one of our own.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And for each other, you'll see.
It's all like, it's fucking gut.
It'll make you think that somebody you thought,
even if you thought they were like,
that's not my thing, but I see why they're talented.
You'll walk away being like,
they're not even talented at anything.
I'll tell you, this whole thing's a farce.
How did they get this far?
Well, I watch Katie light up when someone drops a special,
and we get Jay on the speaker phone.
If he's watched it, tap and recently twice
where she goes, all right, let's call Jay.
And yeah, we got it.
And then you call it on speaker.
And we're like, and Jay just picks up going right into it.
He's like, did you get to minute 10, 40 seconds?
And you're like, oh yeah, we did.
10, 40 dude spread around. Shout out 10, 40. 10, 40 spread and you're like, oh yeah, we did. 10, 40 dude spread around.
Shout out 10, 40.
10, 40 spread around, but no one knows what,
no one knows what it's talking about.
I'll tell you what.
But 10 minutes, 40 seconds in.
But I'll tell you what, just like the closer,
I'll tell you live.
I'll tell 100% of anyone who asked me live.
You come to Louisville and see bigjbigjcomedy.com.
I'll be in Louisville.
You come to Salt Lake City to ask them 1040 of what?
And after the show, wait politely.
Don't yell it out, don't heckle it, but.
Do not heckle it.
Do not yell it out.
But we will.
But I'll tell you.
Absolutely tell you.
I still tell everybody the worst last five minutes
of a special I've ever seen.
I typed it finally and I was like,
this is dangerous.
I said to my buddy Rod on text.
I was like, I don't even know who's in this.
Yeah.
Yeah, Rod Brooks, rules.
It's also fitting that I really was impressed with how,
it was the Eagles and the Niners and the MC Championship game.
That was crazy.
There's just all the small stuff.
I was like, we should have done it.
That'll be my one regret of the show.
I didn't try harder to get you to understand
why that would have been great.
I think it would have been great.
I think I was too sensitive about leaving.
Yeah, but the coach tried to explain it.
It wouldn't have changed any of this.
No.
Just the joke would always be the
Dan Sutter never spoke to him on a bet.
I was quite bitchish about leaving.
No, I listen.
It's a fucking change in life
and you got nothing to do on Monday or Tuesday.
Or Wednesday.
Or Wednesday.
The fact that I got, I know Wednesday I'm going to Toronto.
I'm doing shows.
Two shows in Toronto.
So come watch me.
Can I pick it up Wednesdays and try it out so lonely.
Watch me psycho babelon stage because I had backed up from Monday to Tuesday.
Hey guys, we'll go to our world start today.
You guys, there's a guy.
He's a come walker. Cory Feldman's got a new harmonica clip him bring it up
Christine yeah Christine are you there Christine? Oh, he's phantoming again. He's phantom bond firing again
We got you want to take a far final break? Yes, you were gonna say I
Was gonna say I thought we're all going around you give me our thoughts on that you want to take the break for no
No, no, let it go Jacob. I didn't mean to interrupt you
Just Dan, I mean it's
Well the first time I actually met Dan. I don't think you remember is was that the
Comedy Central half-hour tapings in Boston. Yeah, but then I didn't actually say if the other guy that was talking I wasn't the host. Yeah, I think Jason was doing interviews, which
Yeah, I know it was Jason says Mark, but the Comedy Central in the park Central Park. Oh, yeah, that was when they were gonna have me
Comedy Central asked me to open the outside show. Yeah, Malini was there. There's Malini Schumer Jeff Ross Gabriel Eglaceus
I was like bomb death that I wasn't a part of whatever that whole thing was well, dude
Here's the thing is they go we want you to open the show and I'm like
Sick can't wait and then they show up and they go no, no, no, no, you're not on the show
You're warming up the crowd and I go they told me to open the show and they go yeah, you're gonna open the show. You're warming up the crowd. And I go, they told me to open the show.
And they go, yeah, you're gonna open the show.
And then I'll always love Gabriel Iglesias for this.
He comes out, he goes, no, my buddy introduces me.
My buddy introduces me.
It's like a thing.
He's like my guy, like my fans know.
And then he brings me up, and I shit on him.
I forget what the guys are doing.
Martine.
Martine.
He was like, he's like a martine. Woof. He goes, martine's gotta bring me up and I shit on him. I forget what the guys are. Martin. Martin. He was like, he was like, he was like,
he goes, Martin's got to bring me up and I go,
oh, okay, he goes. So here's what we're going to do.
Martin is going to go out and say what's up
and then he's going to bring you up and that's all I needed
here and I was like, yes.
And he went up and did two minutes, brought me up,
I did a set and then I got off and it was like, I robbed a bank.
I was like, oh my god, could the whole drive there on the subway?
What you left side of your clap?
Dude, you're doing that shit?
On the left side, Nick Novicki was at my house with Vecchio, and the running joke was-
Was he or were you looking at yourself in a funny mirror?
I have a funny mirror.
The mirror was bent like this, and I was watching that.
But the joke you kept making was I was gonna go, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up!
Ah!
Yeah!
Shout it out to those guys, call it up.
But what were you saying, Jacob?
Well, I mean, that was my first memory of eating it,
but not my, because you were very nice to me.
And I had just really started doing small things.
Gabriel Gleysius and Martin, we had their interview them, and all they wanted to do was eat and they were not interested.
I was pretty good. You get in the way of a fluffy and his meal. Yeah, yeah, what are you doing? He's got a refill snack on every floor of a building.
I was excited. He calls it powering up. I got a power right? I get the next power pellet. Come come come come come come come come come. And we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we but it's not on the air, but I got to do stuff, you know, in prep for the live shows, which I was
appreciated you two giving me the opportunity to, because I'm not much of a talker. I realized how
I have more to contribute now because of the two of you. But, you know, one of personal memories is that I got to write within, which was a big
deal for me.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, I do those live shows, man.
There's a lot of work.
Thank you.
Enjoy riding, having riding sessions with them.
Who's gonna write them now?
Yeah.
Bobby's at home with his rider glasses on.
He goes, Jacob, I've already got you covered. I've got a next five live shows dead
I guess you started doing a Jacob voice and then had to turn to a Bobby. That was good. I caught it
It's good only you would see my shifts
Only you I mean yet you you are
Beloved and I mean this I genuinely I'll say about myself too as well as Dan
Probably a much bigger uprising and up evil if you left the show than me or Dan. Yeah
Me you are both leave. It's a bit. That's the biggest problem. Yeah, I don't know about that
I'm telling you the show can survive because it's I'm leaving your Bobby coming in and but you you guys all being this whole show
It's just about this group
It's in the room. It's always been like that. It's a group in the room
It's the group in the room and it's coming in and it's and you I hear the same thing all the Mike's wrong
Everyone's got equal say shut up black Lou
I
Always hear the same thing where people are like I moved to a new town
I didn't know anybody and I listened to the show it felt like I was hanging out with my friends
And I think that's exactly what the show is and what the show is gonna continue to be do you always walk away from your friends
Are brupply like this? I mean I gave you a year I gave a year notice interesting
I gave a puppy walk away from your friends and never look back. I want people to know this I gave a
Full farm cycle notice
Yeah, I think he changed his mind three times in between you can ever say yeah
I go July it was looking all I was looking like I was going to come back.
No.
Yeah.
This has been one of the hardest things to walk away from.
So let it guys.
Let it guys.
Do you want to do a final break and then come back and take a bite?
Well, Dan, when we come back, I have a treat for you, something I wanted to give to you
before I don't get to see you every week, every three times, you
know, three days a week for four shows.
Yeah.
That's a real relationship.
And there's been things you've got to share with me and stories and stuff in my life.
I'd like to provide a nice memory for you, a core memory, if you will, when we return.
It stands last day, everybody.
We're hanging out in Markface.
It's the to everybody. We're hanging out in Merc Face. It's the Bonfire.
And now back to the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarus in and Dan Soder.
You see, Lou, this song doesn't work though because...
Yeah.
...she's on never falling love again. I have to fall in love with Bobby.
He's already in love. Yeah.
He's already in love and they're already meeting someone.
They're married, dude. they have a contract together?
That doesn't start today starts tomorrow. Yeah as of now fuck this company
You were such a company man until you weren't man. It's it that the turn hard turn idea I'm excited to be escorted to the elevators
And they're gonna cut your badge up on the funny. Yeah, that would be great
They go no more riffing and I got it. It's plenty for you, sir.
I'm gonna go like this.
Oh, sir, that's plenty. That's just a lot of plenty for you.
Wow.
But do you have a box for you?
You have a plant in there.
Jay and I were talking about it. I'm a trophy for something.
I'm so excited for this. I wanted to bring you one last treat.
Yeah.
Because me and you've had a couple of moments here.
Mm-hmm. Our Gary's, like the difference between our two Garrys, is that life and death. Life and death. My Garry's still with us. Yeah. Despite all attempts of his heart to take him down, he's a fighter. Yeah. And but he is a lot and oftentimes when I've been doing
dad-wining. Yeah. Daddy this daddy that you've often reminded me that you have
which I know is nice you have a living father though you can like have these whether it's an argument
or a disagreement or a disappointment about your super bowl story. Whatever the fact that was
the most recent one. That was hilarious. I one that was hilarious. I said damn, dude
Well, yeah, I'll see you later So that's that all we have to catch up on
One thing I did have the opportunity to do thank you and again shed out John Carden for bringing a football
For me to go have a one catch with my father and 45 years our one catch behind hilarities in Cleveland behind
Columbus funny bone.
Bob ad. Just learn your back. Yeah,
back out. Learn your dumpsters. And we were able to have a catch.
Nice football catch. And while I can't bring your father back to life.
Yeah. I can do the next the best thing. Yeah. I dress DJ a little bit as your father. And now I'm here.
He looks...
To hear a fight.
He looks to hear a fight.
I walked out of the bathroom,
and he was there and gave me an eyebrow wiggle.
And I was like, this is...
We only have five minutes, son.
Oh my god.
Well, that's fine.
It's okay.
Here.
Make sure you have that.
And where's the little football?
Sorry, you have it.
Why don't you ask your boy to have a catch with you, Gare?
Son, would you like to have a catch with your old man?
I would love to have a catch with you, Gary.
Let's go.
Let's go get out of the way.
Don't dilly dally now.
It's not how you're talking.
Look at him go.
Gare's ordered and say dilly dally.
Oh, wow.
Oh, doesn't it feel nice? It's so nice. Nice one. yeah dance put some heat on what do you think
what do you think Gary Sotas he act like a like a like a like a little pus or is he throwing
good like a big boy
this character works that's standing
oh a lot churches and churches isn't the same without you.
Oh, I love Harry.
She misses you, bud.
What's heaven like?
Well, I want to drink it.
Everyone gets their own heaven supernatural said.
Yeah.
Well, I appreciate you coming back down and having a catch.
Hey.
Why don't you sit on your pops knee for a second?
No, we never we never did that. No, but it's time. No, it's cool. We never did that. Yeah, hardy handshake will suffice. No
Big Gary molestan. No, don't molest me. But give me a hardy handshake. Shake his hand the other hand shake his dick
Now I can finally ascend to heaven
Jay you've released me I love you son. I love you son. Now I can finally ascend to heaven. Oh!
Jay, you've released me.
Wasn't that special, guys?
That was very nice.
Thank you very much.
I'm going to go back to my microphone.
And I'll keep it in this football.
Jacob's teary.
Jacob got a little teary there.
I don't have to have that catch. I am keeping this football and that was a lovely catch.
Dan Soder, eight fucking magnificent years, dude.
I'm gonna miss this shit out of you.
You're the funniest fucking human being I know.
I love you.
You're the funniest dude I know.
It's been an honor to do this with you for all these years,
man.
And I love you always.
I know you'll keep coming back and we're gonna fucking. This is a hip-hop years, Ben. And I love you always. I know you'll keep coming back
and we're gonna fucking... this is a hip-hunter history, dude. Eight years and always live.
I want to thank the campers, I want to thank the crew, but specifically, I want to thank you
for being the funniest fucking human being I've ever met. Made this very easy
to do a lot of broadcasting and have the most fucking fun. I love you Bob fire is gonna rule
Bobby's gonna be great. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I know the two of us you can call the blob fire and that's gonna really hurt
I'm excited. I'm excited to watch the show keep going and I can't tell you
What this has meant to me. I love you guys you guys are my family. I will continue to see you
Thanks for being cool for understanding
Even I don't know I'm gonna say a lot of dumb shit. I love you guys. This was absolutely incredible
I usually guest host like two weeks. Don't
I'll get some suits you do I need you to go to big Jake big Jake comedy dot com
He's gonna be coming to Louisville and also watch his special when it comes out dogbelly
I know you'll be promoting you named it. Yeah, I love you do. I love you to dancer dot com
Salt Lake City this weekend. We love you. I love you Christine. I love you black Lou. I love you Jacob
Christine's a cousin. I'm gonna make it out of her again
Oh, it's gonna come back Christine again every one the night and just for one last time
I just want to say they can't Bruce crackle crackle. I love you guys. I'll see you around
And just for one last time, I just want to say that I can't Bruce.
Crackle Crackle.
I love you guys.
I'll see you around.