The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dilapidated Sneakers (feat. Paul Virzi)

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

Paul Virzi fills in for Big Jay with guests Dave Temple and Derek Gaines. Bobby gets ripped for having old man sneakers.

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of the Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. O'Courson and Robert Kelly. Yeah, what a song.

God, just the two of us. Oh, that's a highway. Up the West Side side highway Sunday afternoon Nice day sunset Right talk shit. Hmm. Just walking Walking and driving but doing both I'm doing walking now hold over I'm walking Would you car break down my car broke down He was just down the highway you know flowing and then also you walking walking that I

Got mug I'm still humming the song Welcome everybody Dave Tappel and Derek Gaines are here to promote the Black-ass comedy show on Thursday, July 20th. Nice. Absolutely. At City Winery. That's going to be fancy. And, uh, the city, this is new, right? This came up during the pandemic, the city city winery.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? City winery is a nice winery, but it's also an amazing venue for performance. To the bench base. So, like, they always have, and every city they've got them, they've all got smaller rooms upstairs. It's winery, but it's also an amazing venue for performance. To the Vince Bay. So, like, they always have, and every city they've got them, they've all got smaller rooms upstairs, and then they've got these huge venues downstairs with big bands and everybody perform.

So, black ass is something that we've been doing for like over a year and a half. We started slowing them down in New York because we've been on the road, so we haven't done one in three months, but the last one sold out, so we needed bigger venues. So, we took it to city winery, man. Get nice and fancy on them. That's great. That but the last one sold out. So we needed bigger venues. We took it to city winery man, get nice and fancy on them. That's great. Very nice. And who's on the show? Dan Nattiman, Greg Rogelle. Absolutely. Gary Gomez. Judy Gold was coming.

Judy Gold. Yeah, that's gonna be a wild. You are understanding the vibe. Always did. we did. All we did was just take the regular comedy format and flip it on his head. You know, it's usually one black guy on every show. We just put one white guy on you. It's one black guy up at the end.

No, we used to put Big J on for the Christmas show. We used to put Big J on me. I really? He did depend on the white man's spot. Yeah. Yeah, Big J could go up Yeah on a show just he doesn't care either. I panic like you're going up last. God damn it. Yeah. I hate the excuse to do you good that's a compliment is it 30 years? Sounds like an insult. Yeah, Jim Norton gets the sweet spot every night.

It's seven o'clock. Yeah, you go home. It's know, dude. You're going up at 3 30 in the morning talk. Yeah talk about it Right, nice shift guy. Yeah, I mean, what is that? It's not a I know it's a copper. It's a compliment once in a while You know what it's a compliment. This one. It's a compliment when I'm getting paid That money, okay, like I had to headline the Dennis Larry thing, you know a couple years the Like I had to headline the Dennis Leroy thing, you know a couple years the Comics come home. Okay. It's at the Boston Garden TD Center 17,000 people flex and you got everybody name them. They're there Jimmy Fowl, right? You got John Mulaney. Okay, you got all these guys going up I mean Jim Gaffigan Billy Burr and they're like you're going up last. No

Okay, I don't make that money That's a good. That's a good thing. Say it's a compliment. Which I'm a throw something I didn't say it's a compliment, but it's it's it says something Bobby Bobby Which your I deal spot on the lineup my dude my ideal spot is a third okay How many people on the show how many people in the show? Let's say five six okay five people on the show. Yeah, third I'm gonna go up on a step on everybody's back on and whoever's after me a Cross-commitch everybody sitting down. They got just like that's like the the saddrick the entertainer sit on King the comedy Yeah, he had that dude because you know who was it?

It was Steve killed and then it was deal and then he just had that dude because you know who was it? It was Steve killed them. Then it was DL and then he just had that spot. Yeah, we just had that. What about you Paul? Where's your ideal spot? I would say two or three if it's a five or six person show. Yeah, because then because then like, because the thing is the host went up and then they saw the first comic do jokes. So now you're, you're there. But last is kind of last is kind of cool though, man. I mean, I've done, but not the not the two 30 in the morning marathon last. Not when people are tired last. Tell me you tell me. Dude, I've that's the worst shit.

When they're like, no, there's still having fun. It's still a show. You're like, no, I've done it. I think it was, it was cool a couple of times. I get it. Following Burr at comics come home. Right. And and and killing felt good yeah okay that felt like

that because burr holy shit right that's cool I like it but I don't want not for the rest of my they always say that's a compliment go sticky compliments in your asshole I'm tired I want to be home watching yeah, it was funny. I did a show that I was producing out in Westchester, Pennsylvania. I had Aaron Berg headline in the show And he just decides like hey, can I go earlier? And I'm like, well, do you want the earlier money? And he's just like, ah come on It's late. I gotta get home. It's great. Aaron Berg Come on dude, could you come on and do impressions for me on the show? When I need him? I only do Aaron Berger and Chris Rock.

That's it. All I need. That's a great. Yeah, well, dude, the money thing. I ain't looking, when I'm getting paid to be the headliner, I don't give a shit. I shut that button off. When I'm on the road, I don't care.

I'll go do it. When you're on a show and you show up, yeah dude, you're going up last. Oh, when? After 17 people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hate that. Plus living away and being up in Westchester with a family, when they're like, Hey, dude, you want to go first? I'm like, yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Okay. So I go first a lot. Yeah. Which that's another thing people are saying is a compliment. Like at the clubs where they like, no, they need to start off strong 100%

Yeah, we want you up and out of the way Get it out. We want you in and out. Do me a favor get them focus and then bring up Derek Like no, they want to start the show off strong with a bang. That's a crocker shit. Yeah, you can't piss on my face and tell me it's raining. That's an insult. I don't get like clubs. They always give some local middle guy the prime spot and they'll give that me, the check

spot. They still do check spots at clubs. It's mind bog. Why? The check spot has to stop the fucking check spot Has to stitch two thousand and twenty three man, okay? You wait 15 fucking minutes for the next show and you drop the checks you tell people get the fuck out It's not hard. It's not hard. I'm in the middle of a fucking story here and I got some fucking chicken in front row here and I got some fucking chicken in front row no no no no no no no no hold on a second hold on a second man I'm in the middle

okay these people paid to see me yeah yeah okay and I'm in the middle is something or it's a bit that I'm things are going good and you got the you got the people looking down look and it just doesn't and you know what a lot of good clubs stopped it who a lot of good good club I'm one I don't think Larry's does it anymore Cleveland you don't think or you know they don't they don't they don't Come out hot. They don't hot. You came up Do it anymore I don't sound like I just fucking

Shut your face I do good you don't cut that off I don't cut that off. I need everything I got on the show. I'm cocking off the fuck on you. No, but I get to get out of the fucking cell like that. What? Are you? Do you have headphones on?

Good, listen to me. Good, let me tell you something. One time ago, they didn't have a check spot. Back in the day, we were all good guys. We went to the show, and people laughed, and they enjoyed themselves, and they hated the end. But now, they got the check spot. We got... You never had to tell the guy. We got that again. No, it's a leave. And they enjoyed themselves and they paid at the end, but now they got the check spot You never The seller the seller doesn't do it the stand doesn't do it

Holieries doesn't do it and I believe there's one out west that stopped doing it, but it's incredible It's incredible and that's how that's what I say if the seller doesn't have to do it Well, they're a small club. No, they're not they do 15 shows a night They have a two and the village underground is a big cedar. They have a big cedar and they flip the, they do four shows there. Four shows that the village underground, they don't need to do it. You know what they do it? We're shocking.

What? The mother ship. Thank you. The mother ship has a child spot. That's what I believe they do. Whoa. And that was kind of shocking. I was like, why, why, you know, you don't need that.

But maybe, maybe it's mechanics. They're just figuring it out. We're like, why, why, you know, you don't need that. But maybe, I don't know. Maybe it's mechanics, they're just figuring it out. We're all shutting up on Joe Rogan's club, aren't we? No, no, no, no. I mean, that club can have a check spot. I mean, they do a, no, but I don't, I do a quiet check spot. I've never been, no, but you did, you did it, right? And it was a check spot, because when I did it there,

okay, I did a show case. No, there was no check spot, Bobby. You were just stinking. No, there was a check spot. They were looking at their phones. I was sucking, I always said thinking. Oh, you're stinking? Well, yeah, I'm stinking.

My stupid list. Yeah, you fucked up, because I was like, am I that good that they're thinking during my eye? Maybe I just said, I'm part of it. I'm part of it. I just get an HBO special, they're thinking.

Yeah, I don't like the cheques butt. It's stupid. Here's the thing. You're interrupting. Think of anything else that you see. Movie, theater, anything else. Music, and if they came in and interrupted you, in the last 15 minutes. Alamo Drafthouse is like, you go see a movie.

They're coming around trying to take your last orders, like last 20 minutes of the movie and they're closing out the bills, fucking annoying. First of all, you order wrong. Alamo hug draft house. I will defend to the end. I order wrong, go ahead. You come out, this is what you do. Get the piece of paper, you're right on the piece of paper,

they take the piece of paper, they bring you back your food, that's it. You left out, he assumed you order wrong, you didn't even know you ordered. Well, yeah, but where do you pay? At the end, they drop the check, you put your credit card, they take it you are well. Yeah, but where do you pay at the end? They dropped the check you put your credit card. They take it and they leave that's what saying they're doing that Yeah, 20 minutes left and a party are they just grab it and later walking through the

Which one do you go to any of them? To franchise thing they all fuck up We've gone to them in other cities. Like we've got to Alamo Draft House anywhere. I'm already in mind. I'm the Fendale of Munchraft. Those are the you know, I love Alan. Because you can if if if say people in the theater being loud and Yeah, there's a double black ass comedy show Thursday, July 20th.

It's okay to be loud there Okay, no one's gonna shiss you no one's gonna quietly call the manager and say that you're disturbing their experience No, no, no, no, no, he's gonna write up the page. They're being noisy in front of me in front of me. Hello paper pencil snitch. Oh, my face. Because you don't know where it came from. Oh, no, we know where it came. It was a guy going.

Shhh. Earlier. What time's it? What time's it? 7 30. So Nick is show about eight. No. Don't even do that.

It's a winery. No, you know. Oh, they got zero rules. Dude, I remember when I was doing, when I was doing talents room back with your talent room. Oh, yeah, yeah. Dude, talent would be on the flyer 930 start. I saw talent walking in 1015 Yeah, yeah, I would be like I was like you know I was like the one white dude on the show waiting the parking lot nervous I just come yeah, and he used to do one in like upstate New York and I was like all like excited

He's like man this dude's funny and like he put me on the flyer I'd be up there and like he would show up literally to host. I'm in show 45 minutes. I was I was in a two. Sorry, Tony Woods in a Rubah. He's closing the show and he's room. They put his room next to the show room next to it. His room is next to where the show is.

You can hear the show laughter from his room. He knocked on the door. Ray, Rayl, and Rubar Ray. And he goes, you're up in five minutes. No, 10 minutes. And he goes, I, man, let me take, let me get in the shower. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was like, I forgot love.

But I used to do black night Sundays at Boston Comedy Club, which was will in talent. Yes. Yes. Let me tell you something. I've never been more petrified. They were like, you want to do it? I was like, okay, because you had to do it. Like, your tree's did it.

Yep. Keith did it. Everybody did it. And they were like, okay, come down. And they made me wait the whole show. I had to sit in the hallway while I mean, talent. Everybody is fucking. Mer-tude.

Dude, Mer-tude. It went into your bones. Yeah. Yes. So I'm waiting and waiting and waiting. Finally, it's your up last. I'm like, what? Of course, last.

I go, all right, fuck it. I'm so nervous. And I think it was will. You fucking ended the show. And he was like, and then the town was like, no, no, you got Rob Kelly. He said, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh's saying, not ever. And he's like, one more guy, one more guy, and he goes, one more white guy. Give it up. It didn't even know me, white guy. Call me white guy. They left the lights on too, by the way. They left the fucking lights on.

I remember black girls had to put the j... This motherfucker, they had to put their coat back on. They had to take him off and stuff like that. I was like, fuck. And I mean, I went up, fuck murdered. Listen, thing is, but my heart sucked. Yeah. Because the first couple seconds were like, fuck you.

And I had to do some, and I finally got them. And then they, soon as I got them laughing, they shut the lights out and they let me do my set. Yeah. But it sucked. It sucked. It was the most terrifying I've ever been, but the most satisfying at the end.

Yeah. When I was like, I feel like I'm dead. I felt like Rudy. Like I, like when he got the letter. I'm like, I feel like I did, I felt like Rudy. Like when he got the letter. I feel like I did it. I got it. I was taking pictures after what's right. I was so front like,

hug your arm out. It was a horse in the room, I showed them, I was just hugging black girls, we were looking at it. Yeah, that is the vibe though that we created man. We made it a hard room. I don't know whether it happened that way on purpose,

but it was just the vibe that we were missing because we came up in rooms like that. And yeah, we kinda like, you know, making young comics have to test themselves to that. Like he's ridiculous towards young comics. That's how the staff are moving. That's how the staff are moving. He's made comics do rock paper scissors

to see who's gonna go up to do five minutes and bomb and then only cuz I knew it was gonna bomb. If I knew they was good I wouldn't do it. No but then if a pretty girl is like can I go up? Yeah sure. No problem. But they bomb too. Which one to go third? They bomb too. You want to go third? You want to go third? You want to go third? Yeah, but you're third. You'll get her a wine. Get her a drink. Get her a drink. Put her in the of wine. Get her a glass of wine. Put her in the free room. Make sure she got champagne and all that.

Make sure she good. Yeah, give me a few girls coming off the plane, stinkin' and get in our show right away, because they're cute. I hate it. He did the fucking Lewis Gomez thing. That was stuck with a bunch of unfunny girls walking around. LAUGHTER Fully integrated into the comedy world.

That's just fucking at the seller. They're gonna go after her. Yeah, you fucking assholes. Nice, nice severed package. You leave Louis, you get a podcast and a spot at every club in the city. That's a nice severed. Yeah, that's a very nice severed. I have a go-man severed.

When am I on the schedule, you're on after Titufo. I got shit. What? Who? What the fuck happened, Derek? Derek hooked it up. Oh, I shit.

Ashtie started the winery. Titufo? Oh shit. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, that's, can I say something though? That's good because comics, when you make these rooms, when it's, I feel like it's a, the certain crowd

is just there to support. I don't, I don't think that's good for a standup. You should go to, that's why people come to the city and they'll do a show at the seller or the stand. And it's, it's tough, but they did good where they were in a borough somewhere in front of the people that go there to support. Right.

You should like people like I don't like go I don't really do good in the city. It's because these people came to see a comedy show. Yeah. They're there to see funny shit. Yeah. They're not there to see you or support comedy. They're there to laugh. So you got to make them laugh.

And I think that we came up the Boston Comedy comic club that was a hard place to do comedy and i know it was a hard the comics was so good i mean i was on the shows it was boss patrice keith ber uh... louie right louie was on the two louie depolo uh... kichapel kev kev wasn't that funny back then, but the thing was I mean, he's famous Hey, come on big J's funny Big J comedy that come

Then plug it I'll fucking plug it. I'll get him 72 people to watch that special Fuck it everybody left this poor kid Dan fucking counts Bonfire listen Yeah, but I think that's good that it's a hard it should be a hard hang and it should be a hard Hand it has to be a hard hang I think yeah, yeah, Derek is good at making a hang hard I'm not a bully. I never learn I From York. Yeah, I was all you still kill us fuck a first I was a nice guy. No, you weren't no, you weren't you didn't like you

Nice Blue everybody else I know nice to this sexy girl Why should a marriage instead of the poll like I got from Massachusetts What I love Max She's gorgeous I want I was wrong a gold bearing girl I got I got girl with a big lobe I got I got girl with a big lobe Jesus Christ God's got fucking fat

Unattached earlobe I love my wife. I really do I've got those stretched out after the near-loat And we're in the nephatini earrings back in the 80s She got bamboo to she isn't from the bamboo to track She isn't from the bamboo to trap. It comes as far. No, but it is righteous. The hang, I think, is as important as the show. I always say to you on comics, well, how do I do? Go find the place you want to be at, the club that you vibe with, and hang out there

every night until someone doesn't show up. And you're going to get, think about it, you want to go up, and you're going to go up and make sure you do well. And I say this, too, stay out of the city until you you're a headliner or at least a slam and middleer. Don't come here and try to develop because you're gonna develop they're always gonna see you as the new guy you sucked you stink you come in we all came meet burr Patrice we all came in as like heavy middleers headliners yeah dain we and we came in in New York, we were the new guys.

We just knew, and they were like, you wanna go up, and we went on my fucking gush. Watch, Patrice just murdered, we all just murdered. These guys are fucking, yeah, because we were ready, we were ready, so you're never seen in that light. So don't come to the city era, but when you do come here, find that club, but that hang, the stand hang, and the seller hang and even new york comedy club hang pristine hangs yeah it's a it's a it's a it's a a very vital import to the

development of your comedy confidence absolutely you know what I mean I think that's important that's what gave me this that's what gave me the confidence to go on that I would have never done black night Sunday night. What was it called? Chocolate Sunday or something like that? Sure. No ladies chocolate Sunday. All right, maybe it was that you're talking about the Boston comedy Boston. What was that? Just black night was it a talent? I just looked at his talent Sunday night room at the Boston No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no First of all, when the group chat is just screaming it's shit out in the car. We were fucking texting our blackberries back then. I would send somebody a little thing to their beaper. Smoke.

I would just write accent. I can't go, forget it. I'm not really doing it. I know, the other way. Jay's gonna come back, I'm just gonna be gone. What happened to Bobby? We were doing good. No, but it was the hangout front. Yeah.

But you know the hang in that circle, our front was the tough one. What you guys accomplished in Boston though, the comics come home thing, I do want to do that for Philly. I want, like, you know, for the guy. So for what? Like, just the guys that are big

and the Philly guys are great, man. And the Philly guys are great, man. Me, Derek, like, are you garbage guys? You know what I mean? Like, every Reggie conquest, you know, everybody could be able to come home. Well, that whole thing was invented for cancer, to raise money for cancer,

for Camnely Foundation, Camnely's sister was very sick, and Larian, he came up with this show, to raise money for cancer. What would you raise money for? Chris's, Chris died, and you got a daughter. Chris got it, yeah. Dude, you got it.

Yeah, do it. Yeah, do it. What are you gonna call it? Comics come home, we're just gonna kill that shit. You can't. We're just like, in Philly tradition We're just gonna get you for that shit. I hate Philly. I hate this house. Philly sucks. He's not even thinking of a new name.

No, we got the name. No, we got the name. We just need a venue. Yeah. Comics come home. Philly. I like that. Yeah. Comics come home. Philly. Yeah, it's comics come home We're risen money for cancer. We're risen money for this one dude and then after that would take the money I may have it we have the Patrice benefit for 10 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's wild. I know, right? Yeah How long do you think your benefit would go for? With my friends. Yeah. One year. What do you do? Good hot one. What's it? What venue would it be?

And though, pussycat. Pussycat lounge. No, I mean, probably another city winery down in Philly. Yeah, they have one. Yeah, they have one. Matter of fact, I say like same. Yeah, it's all a bit. It's all a, what do you call those chains? It's a chain. But believe it or not, Chris had actually started a show there before he died. It's just pretty crazy.

Didn't get off and I did the first one for him in that January. We did a benefit and got the money, gave that to his family. And then I put the room in other people's hands and in the pandemic happens. So it never, you know, I love Chris Cotton, man. I still, I love Chris Cotton.

He was so fucking funny and such a character, and just so easy to talk to man. So, shall I tell you this? I remember when your Philly crew came down. You remember? I remember you guys all came down. We were like, oh boy. Cause we, the Boston crew came down,

but then the next thing, the next true to come was Philly crew. And you guys came, you guys came heavy. Yeah, you guys came heavy. You guys came heavy. I saw a carloads. A couple of carloads came five feet. Yeah, five feet, five feet, five feet. You guys were hungry. Yeah, you guys came heavy. Nice little car loads. Couple car loads. Yeah, hangry is shit.

Five deep, hangry. You guys are hungry. Yeah. You were hungry both. You were hungry for fame and comedy, but also food. Yeah. You guys are always starving. That's what I was saying.

When we were kids, I'm like, wow. We were a pretty mangy looking bunch. Mangy. But you guys were probably shy. You guys just showed up with your own weed cipher like in the middle of somebody else's club I'm like they're not even on the fucking show get out of the green room. What the fuck are you doing? They hit you up at the cellar You're gonna eat that

Yeah, not they didn't tip toe We got we got the names around sound Liz called us around town Everyone knew who we were before we got I used to love telling you guys to shut up. Yeah, we would shush you all the time. Yeah, because you come in and we just get loud as shit with shh. And you'd stop. It's funny because you're like, what? I'll fuck you. Right, right. Yeah. That was what I said.

You were mean and you scared me a little bit. I didn't like you. Yeah, you were going to stop trying to act like you're a part of something. That's what Bobby would always say. That is such a Bobby fucking thing. I'm trying to ask like your part of something that's what Bobby would always say Bobby fucking thing listen don't get comfortable back second be comfortable That is bold and here's the crazy thing and that was when it was fat Bobby. Yeah Only time Bobby ever showed his approval is if I hit boss like if I got a good one off on Vos.

No, no, no, that's a good one. Yeah, I don't like that you. I didn't get it. I can't stand him. Fucking lispy asshole. I hate that he's my friend. I hate that who that's who I got. That's who I got.

Oh, fucking makes me sick. BGA got fucking Berk Chrysher and all these other good people. I got Voss. I got Voss and Norton. I got one guy that lives up in a fuckin' altar like Rapunzel. Never comes down. I got this other asshole with Whiskey-Teeth and a Rolex. I need it.

And Jordan. And Jordan. He wears G65. Oh, the Jordan. He's wearing black shoes with Velcro. He wears getters. Jordan's in a fedora. Jordan in a fedora. Now do you think that the younger comics that are coming behind you guys? Are you guys? Are they are they getting hit? Are they coming up a little soft?

Um, he, if they're around us, he's going hit him. He's going hit him. He's going hit him and he's going to start it off and sometimes it's so good that you can't help but get in on it. So we hit him. I, I, I sound like I'm back and off of it because I never initiated. But I know that they need to go through. I'm always one first to say something when they come in to

the group. I was like you, I didn't, I didn't do that. Yeah, yeah. The, cause I, I'm petty, man, I hold that shit forever. Yeah, exactly. You fuck. I'm gonna say something. First of all, you do do it you fucking I want to say something first of all you do do it What you do do it? You just don't do it to them. You do it to me on the phone later

Dude this fucking kid Get my gatorade. It's my fucking gatorade. I'm sure I do this in my rider. I Coat my agent. I says I want gatorade zero Barry in my I said this kids eat my drink and my Barry zero Go to read my My peanut pretzels yes, Cox. I want the fuck out of people Yeah, I do I I watch it and then I harbor it

Yeah, and then I call my friends and I'm like who the fuck is this kid that he is You know you get a call friday of saturday night in between like between the first and second show times, which is like 9-10-15. Something happened. Paul used to call me and console me after. You ever see a beating the night before and he called you the next day, but hey bro, dude, you're funny. Don't worry. You're just hanging. You live the day.

You live the play another day. Yeah. Don't worry about it, dude. Just keep going. I was right where you are. Just keep going. You know what's starting to annoy me is when somebody that goes before me, like they know they go over, but they go over enough where you almost can't say.

They go over enough where you look like you're nuts if you say something, but they always do. It's always three, three minute, two and a half minutes. Yeah. And then they have a good time of, hey man, and then they go, thanks so much. And you just say, yeah. Yeah.

And you hold it. And you suddenly. And you know what I hate? I hate when the middle guy, the feature ends his set, like it's the end of the show. Oh. That I have one. I have one.

He's hand up, does peace on. Dude. He does it any more. Yeah, he does it. Brad Williams. Thank you good night Phoenix What it's not over. I got to do an hour What you did 15 minutes what the fuck? Hey one guy this one guy West Palm Beach improv or maybe the Miami in one of those you know, it's a huge club

It's fucking pack this guy goes up and he's kind of hang with the microphone. He's got his manager off to the side laughing, who's pretty much his cousin. It's not a manager. I've never been in the business at all. This guy's name's fucking Thomas, I'm shit. And at the end, he's doing good. All right, he's not gonna wanna go over by a couple minutes

and then goes, just goes off on this thing. End of the day day You're at work You got a minute you got a couple minutes left. You don't run around and do a bunch of work You don't want to get all your stuff done put stuff and files and sign stuff. What do you do? Just leave And he drops the mic and walks off I went I went I shot it I shot it shows After the second show I went up to his manager go if he does that tomorrow night I want to let him know I'm gonna get the I'm gonna buy a beer Stein at a German restaurant somewhere

One of his big ones and I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna homin it as fucking head I go if he does that again on this show I want you to tell him I'm gonna hum a fucking German beer stein at his head This is great, and he went okay next time I literally I had I had a mug from the club I'm waiting by this side like this Anyway, he's like, I guys and I saw him he goes good night. I was like god damn it. You're right I was gonna throw it right his fucking head How dare you you guys got the same energy as we're gonna go we were fucking we were put them on the side Yeah, yeah, yeah, I swear to comedy store in La Jolla right the fucking feature or the host or whatever, right and

He was he was like He was fine for a host fine as a host, but it was just The the promotion of Hey, very special. Come with me. And Derek, I don't know why Derek just didn't like him and he's just like, and he got the, no, because he came in the green room and changed his shoes. Yeah, he changed his shoes. I know. He was, he was good. So he had his B team joints to walk in and he'd go and change,

pull socks out in front of two grown men Oh, it's low. It's low. It's low. You didn't arrive on the bus. Yeah, you drove Wait a minute. I got stopped for a second. Am I saying it wrong? No, no I've been called out before I thought fucking dilapidated was a word. He didn't know my life. I'm 52 Everybody in the studio just turned on me and let me know if the lap is mixed together. The lapidated.

The lapidated, which doesn't make sense. It's a dated, what's dated? The lapidated. You can't be wrong, can you? No, it's a capitated. The lapidated sounds way better than the dilapidated. The lapidated sounds like something was dating something. Can you, you can't let me.

Just ain't fucking back me up. Who's supposed to be together? You were wrong, Bobby. Yes, I was wrong. That was wrong. And you were wrong like three times. I know, this girl was hot. Comfort.

I love this show. This is not. Wait a, wait a maker uncomfortable. Bring up the Jason Allen only fans. let's see which is into it. I think that's a soul. Sorry, no, sorry about that, I'm sorry. So with this guy because of the sneakers and the way he was closing it. Is that a bad thing?

So if I went through, first of all, I didn't know you're supposed to have show sneakers. You're here to show sneakers. So you have two pairs. Yeah, I didn't know that. But Derek didn't like his show sneakers have show sneak like yeah, he had show sneakers. You have two pairs Yeah, I didn't know I didn't know that but Derek didn't like his show sneakers So Derek bought sneakers the next day Yeah, I told him He's thinking that the guys gonna come back with the same show sneak

This guy was also a sneaker hit So he came in with another pair of sneakers also to which Derek had to go. Oh, oh, no come back with the same show sneak. This guy was also a sneakerhead. So he came in with another pair of sneakers also to which Derek had to go, oh, that was a dope. Yeah. There were his Saturday shoes. His Saturdays was better than Friday. But he had just dropped 400 for nothing.

Just to fucking do it, just because I hated it. And I was just like, damn, I really got to do better than him. I went over every night just be like I'm so much Oh, I'm so much better than the snakes you wear. I tell you I just And you're a sneaker head. Yes, I mean, I'm not in this game Because I have I know you have fucking This is where you and I are I got out of the game when I had to buy a weed whacker instead of the great five

Okay, yeah, thank you. Fuck you I'm just saying a hoca means you're not a speaker that are the great fives. Okay, yeah, thank you. Fuck you. Yeah. Hoka. I'm just saying, Hoka means you're not a speaker. Hoka is comfortable. Yeah, it's comfortable. This is the most comfortable shoe. And they're expensive. I mean, do you think this is an ice cream?

Do you know how many shakasem? Do you know how many old age homes those are in right now? Do you know how many old people wear Hoka's or whatever they're called? Although they have money. Okay, but they're not, I'm just saying it's not a sneaker, had shoes on.

I'm saying this, Paul. First of all, I have a comfort. I have to, I have to I've planned the fetch. Oh you do too. Yeah Sneaker has to go through the pain just Good you got ingrown toenails Other day that Korean lady took care of that shit. Yeah, and then she probably vomited Yeah, she What's This this sneaker game I I really think at a certain point your your kind of crazy, right?

Yes, no bill squire very funny commerce from Cleveland I was doing hilarious and he you know and I just lost a little weight and I was trying to easy, right? Yes, I do. Bill Squire, very funny comment from Cleveland. I was doing hilarities and I just lost a little weight and I was trying to, you feel a little better, got a little nicer jeans, whatever. And he's like, you can't go on with those shoes. I had new balance, black slip on new balances. What?

What, you got slip on? Like what a heel slip now. No laces? Yeah, you slip them all. Like a slipper. Like a kitchen shoe. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Skinny your guy and it was a transition shoes not a fat guy shoe That's that what it says on the box transition shoes It's a very Sleep on

About that I was and he said to me. He stopped me because you got to get show shoes I go what he goes you got to go and get show sneakers like a show shoe I'm like what the fuck is that he goes dude you lost a little weight you dress a little better now You got to go on get show sneakers like a show shoe. I'm like, what the fuck is that? He goes, dude, you lost a little weight. You dress a little better now. You got to go on stage. Your shoes got to pop a little bit. I was like, what do I do?

He goes, you got to go to the black mall. I'm like, what's a black mall? He goes, any mall with more than five sneakers. I was like, they have malls with more than five sneakers. They have one with 15 right down the street. And so we went to the store and he brought me to the sneaker place. And I bought these yellow Adidas with Japanese writing on them. Okay.

And I bought those, I got it. That was my first thing into the sneaker game. But here's the thing, I wore them in my foot hurt for a week and a half. Yeah. Was it in Shelto's? Huh? Were they Shelto's? No, they were, no, I don't know what the fuck I shell.

What, I don't know what the? Shelto's the one with the heart, the heart, the heart. The one that Liz always was. No, not that. It was the other one. It was the one with little stripes on the side. It was, it looked cool, but it wasn't as comfortable as a slip on re-buck. The 1280V slip on is a shoe. and the hoax. What oh my god?

I'm driving off of the farmers market. I walk around all over the hook I'm gonna get my pen and seal in my sneakers I walk around all over the whole He's like, yo, let me get my pen and seal in my sneakers I'm a market shoe, never a nice nice nice shoe Is that he found it up there? No, it's a yellow. Yeah, oh my god. That shoe. Oh What do you mean? Oh, I mean look at that what it's a 10 A. E. E. an R 12 Like a boat

Is a boat. Yeah, that's a that's a serious dad That's a fun dad shoe right there. That is a rehab shoot. Do you know what you I want? Like I was in a car accident. I have to learn how to walk again Physical therapy. He's a those the physical therapy I'm sure there's some post-stroke She's Yeah, that is a whole major Never get dirty you've had him for three years the white never gets dirty. I'll tell you this you know what the shoe

I want my what I literally had in my hands and my wife made me put them down. It's It's a new balance white just type it old man white new balance or most comfortable shoes These are shoes I wanted but my wife wouldn't let me get them yet. I hit 65 these suckers are coming home No, no, no, no, it's the other one is the other feeling it was that one like the Judah Friedlanders That's it right there Are you serious You would never on stage I will never miss a mortgage payment with that shoe You would never, I will never miss a mortgage payment with that shoe

Versa, look mark down to 49 First of all, version, you never tried it on 33% off. I've been trying on no, it's the most Let me take some you put that you want it's like walking on clouds. I Not saying it's sexy. I didn't say it's all of her. Whatever. But if you put that you on, if you want to walk around all day and not feel it, that's the shoe you get.

What about Nike Air Max? Makes some nice, comfortable shoes. First of all, Nike's like high heels for men. They have no, they're flat on the bottom. They're thin. Not all Nike's are too thin. I got a wide footer. I got a knee, I got a knee. Dude, that's a wide shoe.

That's a wide shoe, that'll do it. That'll do it. That'll accommodate. That's what I'm sorry. That shit has got a tanker support. That's an OTP. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Granddad picked me up from jail. That's the shoe you made. That's what I picked up. That's what I picked up from jail. That's what I picked up. That's what they give you. They give you. And leave out at 1 a.m.

There's an emergency happening. Yeah. Come get me from the kitchen. That was like what they give you. They give you the door and leave out at 1 a.m. There's an emergency happening. Yeah. Come get me for the circle. Now, now. Now. Since, since, I was coming with a jumpsuit and an old day jump. Jesus.

Since I got my first show shoes in Cleveland because it built a square. I got the ideas. I had read a deed as yesterday. I have some, I have, I've got show shoes that I wear, but they're not comfortable, I hate them. They're not comfortable. The shoes you wear now, they're not comfortable.

I have the Nike's, I have a buy of Puma's, the basketball shoe, I have a couple not comfortable at all. They stink and I guess they look at, yeah that's right, no back, back, back, back. Yeah that's right there. I got those, what about those? What about those? That's, that's, that's, that's, that at yeah that's right no back back yeah That's right Yeah What the fuck you mean for you?

That's like funky you the other two shoes you showed me that right there is wow that's my show show Yeah, okay, I'm sure your wife looked at you different. You came home with those right? Fly she actually thought I was having a second man She's like are you fucking guys in Cleveland? Look at my big yellow. Those are NMD underscore R1 V2 shoes. What? I ran a underscore. Yeah. That's a Y shoe too. I like that.

That look like it'll get Y. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are deep inside feet. I'll tell you this though, you guys have shoes. I actually got Sam from the Jim and Sam show was a sneaker head. And I called him up and I says, why don't you stop being a child? He's like, what?

I go stop with your shoes. Go buy a Rolex. Men wear watches. Okay. Men, no fucking around sneakers. So this is, this is when you, when you can't compete at that game you try to level up in I fucking it.

It's a ritual. That's a ritual. That's a ritual. Oh, Very good. I saw the watch. It is nice. It is fly.

It's fly. That's a skydwell of the most complicated Rolex they make right there. That's around 75,000 shoes. Yeah. Did you know what you would do? You would look at your watch and then you would look down your shoes, because if they get to fuck it up. Wanna try it on?

Wanna try it on? Yeah. It's gonna, these would go good, those who bearings. Let me tell you something. Hi, hi. You're gonna be pawning that watch when you go to bail somebody out. I gotta get down to the pawn shop.

I don't know. Dude, have you guys discussed this on this show at all? This, your pillow cube commercial on Facebook? Okay, let's break. Do we have time, right? Yeah, obviously. We should break. We should break?

We can go for 10 more minutes. 10 more minutes? No, no, no. Yeah, break. Sorry. Yeah. All right, listen, we're gonna take a break. We're gonna come back. You guys, a lot of people already know this, that, no. Yeah, break. Sorry. Yeah, all right. All right. Listen, we're going to take a break.

We're going to come back. You guys, a lot of people already know this, that I am the spokesperson for Pillow Cube, and it's not my doing. It's not my doing. I, they literally took you. They've, they've taken, we got five minutes right now. Okay. Four, 45, 45.

Okay. What's, is that the, so pull it, look, I love the people at Pillow Cube. You know what they are, right? It's a cube pillow. Is it good? Does it work? It does because I'm a side sleeper and I would have a pinch nerve

because I crinkled up a lot. Right. Especially when I was fat, when I was 350. I mean, I had like seven hams resting on my neck. So you guys understand why he's a full person, right? Like you. So, the pillow would, you know, so I actually hit him up.

I was like, hey, they were like, Hey, well send you some. So they sent me, they sent me a couple for me. They sent me a travel one. They sent one for my son Max. So I just made a little video for them for Instagram on the story. I made a video of me and Max. And I was like, cause he loved it too.

He uses it up the tiny house. They're great pillows. I love pillow. Yeah. For me, I love, I still use them. Can I see one? Yeah, bring one. Yeah, pull them up.

Christine, could you, let's bring one. Why, he's pulling it out. It's a J-Dex to Christine. I've seen the ad come up on Facebook. Yeah, it's right there. And then it'll be like, Okay, it's foam. Is it foam?

It's a cube pillow. It's a cube pillow, okay? But here's the thing. I made this little ad for them three years ago. I think it was. Okay. Maybe two years ago, I made it for them. And it was great. And they, it was me and Max on our pillows. And we said, this is a great pill. I don't even know what I said. It was just a story. That I put them in. They sent me a bunch of pillows. Very nice guy, whoever it was, a woman, whoever it was on the other end. I don't know. And they used it, and that was it. It was gone.

And then they put it in a little thing with a bunch of stuff. And I was like, okay, it's all right. Go ahead. You can do it. You sent me a bunch of stuff. I really like the product. It's a great pillow for me. So all of a sudden this year, you know, these people have quarterly, yearly ad rep.

They put everything behind this hat. And they put me, dude, I think I have Japanese fans now. Well, when I love the most about it is your original die hard fans, they're in the comments and they're just fucking around saying things like, I broke my pillow cube, dude. I broke my pillow cube, dude. And pillow cube has to respond because they're not aware to that, oh, we're so sorry to hear that. Please contact us.

Wow. And we'll see if we can... Wow. It's like a happy ending. I should be happy. Are you sure? Are you sure? You should be getting money for that.

I don't, I don't, look, you know. I'm a Paul no. Yeah. Much his name, Rupert Ray sent me a text with his lawyer. I talked to my lawyer call him He's like, but I didn't I don't I don't want to get into it. Yeah, I don't want to fuck I mean they I mean look What am I gonna do? Dude fucking everybody in Japan's running around go Bobby Oh Bobby

That won't be happening at black ass Bobby That won't be happening at black ass commas I don't know you have your shame Gillis I said I said into the accent yeah, oh You guys could go oh the fucking Don't fucking you can do that to make fun of Italians see Italians always get fucked man The fuck you know sometimes they make all the other races You can't make fun of him, but you can make fun of us all you want. Because where the guinea waps, that nobody gives you shit about.

Spiggetting meatball eatin' cock suckers, when you can't say nothin' about the Chinese, or the fucking tweez, or the blacks. Well, I tell you something, the guineas, go ahead. It's true. Back in the day, we were kings. Now we're fucking meatball eating cock suckers. This is the bonfire. You guys, Paul Verzi is going to be,

we got to take a break, right? We got to go now. We got to take a break. Paul Verzi, check him out. He's going to be at CB Live, Infini, one of the greatest clubs in the country, Arizona, July 22nd and the 23rd. Two nights only, get tickets, Paulverzi.com,

and check out Paul's new special nocturnal admissions streaming now on Netflix. And be sure to listen to me and Paul's, we got a brand new podcast. Bona Pig, we've been doing it for like a year now. What? And it, well, yeah, almost, we didn't put him out yet. We got a budget new podcast. Bona pick baby. We've been doing it for like a year now. What? And it, oh, yeah, almost. We didn't put them out yet.

We got a bunch of them. Oh, yeah, yeah. We do like 30 of them and they'll put them out. But, uh, Bona pick podcast. You were checking out wherever we're YouTube, uh, listen to it on, uh, Apple Spotify everywhere. Bona pick podcast me and Paul Versey. And, uh, and make sure you check out Derrick Gaines, Dave Temple,

uh, there on the black ass comedy show Thursday, July 20th, and make sure you check out Derrick Gaines Dave Temple. They are the Black-ass comedy show Thursday, July 20th, 730 PM at the City Winery, New York City. And be sure to listen to Derrick and Dave, no need for apologies. Available wherever you listen to podcasts. And Big J is all over the place this summer on the fully loaded tour.

And he's on the Skanks, Legion of Skanks tour, Nehampture, Boston, Connecticut, please, for tickets, go to bigjcommody.com. It's the Bonfire.