The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Every Breath You Take (feat. Pete Lee)
Episode Date: July 15, 2021Comic Pete Lee joins Jay & Dan and reminisces about a time when his nice guy demeanor went out the door. Pete shares an incredibly scary situation with a stalker that lives in his neighborhood.Stream ..."The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com@PeteLeePeteLeePeteLee www.PeteLee.net#CrackleCrackle
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I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast.
You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM.
Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer.
And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder.
Welcome back to the Bonfire.
I'm Dan Soder.
That's Big J. Ocarson.
Joining us, he's got a new Showtime Special, tall, dark, and pleasant streaming now on demand
and the Showtime app.
It's Peeley.
Hey guys, it's so good to see you again.
What's up, Peeley?
How you doing?
Yeah, I like that you guys are together on the couch.
Do you have to, like,
do you have to, like,
go on the subway in New York to get to each other?
Or do you live together now?
What's happening?
I sleep in a hideaway bed.
We live on this couch. Yeah. I'm in, I'm in house.
We watch TV when the show's over till the next show.
Yeah, we go open our clubhouse.
We tell our seatbelt. Yeah.
Yeah, there's secret time. I love that.
There's a Murphy bed involved like on the show Charles and charge.
Yeah, people who are my age.
If I'm lucky, Jay will read me a story before I get a bed. Oh hell yeah
Something from scary stories to tell in the dark. That's only if I'm feeling sassy most of the time
It's old radio wars from the 40s. Oh my god. I love that
Where is the bus?
Jay do you remember the first time that we ever met it was in an apc a conference and then we wound up getting really
stone apc a for the listeners is like what a knack a college conferences but like just not as good at all as
so it's so it's for comics to go do
sets and then get colleges to hire you to come perform at their school right yeah
but is it like second grade schools? So you get like work schools? It is. It's community college, I think is what it was almost.
Yeah, it's colleges that had like $1,500 and below.
And so so big J and I were there with Mike Vecchione.
And I want to tell two stories from that.
Number one, they basically do the show.
Like you do the show and then you do well or you don't do well.
And then afterwards they have like an auction for you where they call out your name and then the schools that want you raise their hands.
And big J and I got a couple schools.
I got one and they canceled a week later.
But the best is coming up though for sure.
Yeah, we all made the mistake because we didn't know that we shouldn't go to the auction
Like it's just it makes you oh my god. It's like going to the comments section on YouTube video
Well, we were there were you there with Ali also?
I wasn't I was there with the college agency before I was with our now guy Justin at CA but
Okay, so before I was with our now guy Justin at C.A. But I only so Ali brain so we mean me and me and Mike were there with her.
I may have told him the show actually before, but uh, but we were there with Ali brain
who's a comedian but the time she was trying out like management or stuff like a being
an agent and some sort of college agent.
So she submitted me and Mike Vekion.
I was like, sure, if you think it'll get us somewhere. And she got us this thing.
Mike Vekion had a couple of mistakes happen with him.
He did it in the early show,
didn't go to the after early show auction at all.
He went to the one that was for the show I did.
And I think Pete did also.
And so yeah, we go into this room and there are,
it's, oh god damn. I'm trying to remember like
Everything was clean, but allie just didn't know anything so when we did our sets
She goes come on we have to go in here for the thing, but it's no
It's just supposed to be the agents or whatever it's not and the school people
Is it like old school wall street where like it's all the agents and then a college being like bye?
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. So it's sort of it is the right hand raised,
but what it is, it's just like a screen
in the front of the room and they just go individually
down the acts and what me, Pete, Ed, Mike,
all had to sit through was, I mean, when they said,
Steve, I don't know, I'm even taking a dig in them.
I just don't even know them at all. And they said Steve Hofstetter, and I mean, this they said, Steve, I don't know, I'm gonna take a dig at them. I just, I don't even know them at all.
And they said, Steve Hofstetter.
And I mean, this guy probably made money for the next three years of rent in that fucking
room that day.
So just let you know where the gauge of the room is.
Steve Hofstetter made a fortune in that room.
Yeah, because they were like, you made a fortune.
And I remember I was the one that hosted our showcase.
So I brought up you and I brought up Steve Hofstetter and I remember his intro was
You've seen him and sports illustrated
That was that was the credit and I remember just like giggling when he gave it to me
I mean sport. There's nothing wrong with sports illustrator
We were already in the internet area or era post magazines
You guys might have seen this in the who's who of colleges.
And I think that you did.
Dude, that is so far.
You guys just got from a brochure for braces and your dentist's
office.
TV guide had a little blurb about him in 1997.
Yeah, I went, when I actually did those APCAs, those colleges
afterwards, he would hand out these stickers and magnets
and business cards.
And so every single school that I would go to,
like in like somewhere on campus,
I would see a Steve Hofsteader business card
just littered somewhere.
Yeah.
That's all business.
If you were trying to track him,
if you were tracking him, you would pick that card up
and you go, he was here recently.
He's moving north.
Still warm. He's moving north still warm
He's moving he's moving to the northeastern schools. He's getting the taste to kill again. Yeah, he will
He will unleash Oregon State University next weekend. He will unleash on a heckler
Watch him destroy. Oh, yeah, that was the thing right all his videos like Steve hostage are murder's heckler
And then it's just like he's posted by him
And it's just like hey, why don't you shut up? I don't come know where you work in a slap the old cocks out of your mouth
Yeah, it was always it was comedian destroys hackler
Hackler and I've actually had friends say to me they're like why don't you post comedian destroys heckler type videos and I'm like because that's like my nightmare. I never want
to hurt anybody's feelings. How about Dan?
comedian reasonably talks down audience member and gets him back into the show.
Yeah, yeah.
So the other shot glass at me like they didn't demoing that one time.
Oh really?
I've had guys try to fight me after the show.
And I'm a black belt and Taekwondo.
I'm, I'm, I actually was a kickboxing champion.
Like, I could probably hurt a dude.
And I don't want to do that.
Like, nobody wants to fight because you did stand up comedy.
No, also, you should be, you should be, you should be holding boot of beads while you say this.
I never wanted to hurt, I never want to hurt a man.
That's not what the, that's not what the Omar Shalarts are for.
Dude, the best one would be getting fucking roundhouse
to the side of the head, getting knocked out
with a Wisconsin accent, going, I told him not to punch me.
Oh my God, in college I got into a fight
and then I took the guys, Nokia, a bar phone
and I called 911 just to make sure that an ambulance came
because I kind of did some damage. But I literally, I hurt him and then I called 911 just to make sure that an ambulance came because I kind of did some damage.
But I literally I hurt him and then I called 911 for him and I stayed with him.
That's the biggest own holding the guy's hand and you're giving a report.
We've had UFC fighters on here with less of a bad S-Background story Pete.
I didn't see any of this coming at all.
Yeah, you guys are all flaring.
You're just going like, I'm going to have to go wrestling.
Then I escaped the French foreign Legion
and I started doing some underground fights for money.
You know what's really crazy?
The, when you go overseas, the Yucusa will leave you
in one out of certain areas.
If you kill three members, they will not come for revenge.
So there I am, downtown San Francisco.
I got the triads on one side.
I got the Yucusa on me, I got the Yucuzzi on me,
and they say, you know me, you know, Pete Lee, I don't want to hurt anybody.
So as I say to them in plain street Cantonese, I say in my best broken Cantonese, I shoot
a little Spanish Mandarin out, a little kitchen Mandarin, and I get him going.
That didn't I realize.
It's so bad.
And then you go, as far as the stories we go,
well what the fuck happened Pete?
You go, I'm sitting here, right?
Yeah.
You never tell the exact story goes,
I don't want to get all that, but I mean.
You don't see any story.
You don't see any story.
With that guy, with that guy when you call his phone,
I'm trying to remember flip phones.
You didn't have to, to only unlock it,
you had to hit like the star key and then one, right?
Yeah, you had to hold down the star key and then,
or I think you press star key and then you held down the one,
which I had the same phone.
So that's why I was able to do that.
But I didn't even have like, like I didn't,
it was one of the,
it was that time period in life where like,
if you had a, like my friends would be like,
why don't you have your phone on me?
And I'd be like, my jeans are tight.
I can't, like, I can't put a bar phone in the pocket
and try to pick up chicks.
Yeah, this is pre-raiser.
This is when I just slide into your pocket.
This is pre-raiser, which by the,
it's just a sidebar.
I want to, I don't know if I should apologize or be really proud of it, but Jay, when you had that
thing where that guy tackled you on stage, I remember I put in the comments that he only
was able to tackle you because you were wearing an Eagles jersey.
He's pretty tackled.
He wasn't wrong on that.
No, I think I was pulled off stage.
That's not getting pushed. That's Lewis is, uh, Lewis is running behind me jumping off stage.
To, uh, to help attack this guy who was, I think, tried to murder me.
I don't know.
We only know him now as the lawyers for bandit.
The lawyers for bandit.
Yeah.
Grab J's, he grabbed J's ankles and pulled him down to the ground.
To hell.
I wonder if he had no legal trouble.
We didn't, we didn't go to Zoom court. To hell. I wonder if he had no legal trouble.
We didn't go to Zoom court.
We forgot.
Oh, man, yeah.
So he kind of got to, he got away with it.
Hopefully.
So maybe, yeah.
Man, dude, I hope he's walking the streets.
I mean, he's like, he was giving at his card freely in Rorius for Pennsylvania as his business
card saying that he was a manager for only fans, girls.
Oh, I thought you were making a joke like he was Steve Hopstetter and he was giving away.
Oh, no, yeah, everybody went home with his sticker.
So he was giving away a business card like with his name and everything.
Is that how you caught who he was?
No, no, no, we caught who he was because we fucking trounced on top of him
and fucking stopped him from going anywhere
and then the cops eventually came.
So he got arrested that night,
but I'm sure they let him out that night,
Pennsylvania cops suck nuts.
Well, yeah, and then there's usually like $0 COVID
or $0 bailed within COVID right now.
Like that's a thing.
I have a stalker right now.
And,
Cool.
Well, if they're listening,
thanks for checking out the bonfire.
I think I have to fucking catch those hands.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, right.
Also, what a great way to get a stalker off your back
is just by telling all the dangerous shit
you've done to people.
Is it a girl?
Is it a girl?
No, I wish.
It's a dude. He's got like school shooter hair
and I have a restraining order against him and then I also have a criminal protection order.
Literally, I didn't even have to file for the criminal protection order because this guy's done
so much gnarly stuff around the LA area and he also, he went to jail for threatening to kill me.
I got released almost right away. But he, uh, the, the, the DA of Los Angeles, like the
same one that like prosecuted OJ is like, we have a larger case against this person for
all the things that he's done.
So, um, you're going to get him.
I go charges.
Yeah, I'm reek.
Yeah.
I'm going to take a ball like a poem.
You go, dude, what if I told you we didn't look at his taxes?
His taxes are follow the paper. Paper. Take a ballot and go dude. Yeah, what if I told you we didn't look at his taxes
Follow the paper Money this thing goes all the way up to City Hall
Yes, we're gonna City Hall
It's funny. We actually did go to City Hall like I had to hire a lawyer and
He hired this he used to brag about you stood in a courtroom across from this guy stood at a courtroom
I testified for an hour and a half because I had 138 pieces of video evidence because
This kid was he was such an idiot like anytime he was stalking me or her asking me that I didn't catch it on my house's
Video cameras he would post himself stalking me on his Instagram
What does he know but what here's started the beginning though. What is, what's his thing? What is he, but what does he know, but what here's started at the beginning though?
What does he know you from?
That he's like coming, that he's coming,
like that he's that that he's became like a obsessed
but just like stand up?
Well, so if you, if you just look at his court records,
he previously stalked women only.
And then I moved into his neighborhood
and he was a fan of my stand up comedy.
And then he saw me and was like, this is, this is amazing.
I'm moving on to my first man.
I'm like I have two girlfriends that are now lesbians and then now I have a stalker that
previous only stalked women and now he's transitioned to me. So I feel like I'm a good transition man.
Like I'm like I'm soft enough seeming that. Yeah, the gayness. The problem is why have you not
let any of these people why have you not unleash the fucking the demon forces of Taekwondo on these people?
You're showing your tie-er style.
Yeah, right.
Well, that's one of the problems is that in the past, the people that he's attacked in
my neighborhood, like one of their boyfriends or, you know, husband or a young, like one
of their, like he attacked an 85 year old woman and the sun came and like roughed this
kid up, but then he has legal leverage because he's like, hey, your sun came and attacked
me and now I could ruin your son's life if you don't settle with me.
So his family got them to sign these legal documents saying
that like they're basically handcuffed
and they can't do anything.
Well, his dad came to me.
He's like, I'm gonna have to come lick your family
while you eat dinner if you get to anything about it.
Guess what? I'm gonna lower.
I'm watching the law works out there
because I'm watching you sleep every night.
Yeah, every night
Very nice. We'll send a contract just don't press charges on my boy
Dude it was crazy. He would bang on my bedroom window to wake me up at like 6 a.m. Because crazy people they're mourning people like they just get they wake up and they're like time to be crazy
And they wake up like they wake up like children. up really do so much stuff to do how many times
I'm much stuff to do go into a star going into a starbucks early morning on the road for you on the press or something
And you see like man you guys up and Adam I'm up now cuz I gotta be for work
So he would bang on your window and wake you he'd bang on my window and he'd every single morning for a while
He'd go I'm gonna kill you.
Like that's how I woke up.
And so like everybody was like,
oh my god, COVID is so hard.
Like I'm bored and lonely.
And then like I was like,
I had this guy that was like,
oh, I'm gonna kill you.
And I have a joke about it in my act where I'm like,
he says that every morning he's never killed me,
like typical man making plans, not keeping them.
You know, like I've at least started a joke
about it. But yeah, I'm also like now, now I'm like a Democrat who's a gun owner because
here's what the police do when they come to your house over 30 times. They, you start
to become friends with them and they'll be like, Hey, man, so we're done here. We're
done, right? And then they'll press the little body cam button and it'll go from green to red and they're like,
dude, you got to get a gun. He's going to come in and try to kill you and you need to be able to kill him. And like this. And I'll be like, well, what?
What kind of gun should I get? I don't know about guns. And so like the police literally like wrote down the kind of gun
I should get. And so I went and I got it. And now
they just waiting to kill him.
Honestly, because he's still here because he's
on house arrest. I have a magnet mounted underneath my nightstand, a magnet mounted six hour
P226. So like, like, I, like if people watch my special, like tall, dark and pleasant,
like, I'm like, oh, I'm Pete and I hate conflict. And I do. I really hate conflict. I really
ended up in the real fast with that piece of equipment
right there. But I also have a magnet mounted 6R P226 because he said he's going to kill
me and I believe him. And so I, so maybe this is my last interview. I don't know.
Has it ramped up recently? Like has it gotten really worse recently? Or is it like, does
it like consistent? It's gotten gotten it's gotten much better because now
a judge has ordered him that he can only leave his house once a day to take out the trash.
That's in our restraining order. And so he's a little special tall dog in pleasant. I'm
still going to kill you. Yeah. And but yeah, he, it's so like he'll come by the house every once in a while, just to elude trash in his hand.
And then, you know, I just kind of, you know,
I go, okay, well, that's his one time per day.
And then, you know, if we see it,
if we catch him on the video cameras,
other than that, we call the cops,
but because the Jail's, and like the court system,
so backed up during COVID, like he's still not in jail and he's facing,
he's facing, I forget how many felony counts
for, felony counts for like stalking,
and stalking harassment and a deadly assault.
Is it a homeowner?
I am, I am a homeowner. I'm
Oh, oh, I was just gonna say like why don't you make a move?
Well, I'm thinking rental here's why you can't move with this guy because we had another neighbor that he attacked
That was a young woman and she moved to Tennessee and then he came and stalked her across state lines in Tennessee
So he should get her new address and give it to him
Yeah, right. He's still heard with a bus.
He goes, by the way, he said you wanted to see her.
All right.
She called that her number and her address and was like,
don't even call.
Just show up at Kiss Me.
Oh, yeah.
So it's like, it's like, why would I,
why would I leave the neighborhood if he's just going to find me
somewhere else?
And luckily, another one, two more of my neighbors have restraining orders against
him.
So we basically like triangulated him so that he can't like he can't you know he can't leave
the his property otherwise he's he's violating like the hundred yards all different ways.
So it's actually safer to live here than it is to you know to like somewhere else where
he could legally probably
drive in. I don't know what it's gonna do to your psyche.
I hope you kill him.
I'll tell you this.
You're always gonna get my seat at the table to sell her.
If you do,
when you walk in, dude, I will move out of the way.
I'm gonna move around like a made man.
Just,
he doesn't have his gun on him. He goes, dude,
I don't know if you're in the type one.
Don't shit on top of it.
How many guys are loose cannon? How many bodies you got on me goes dude. I don't know if you're the type one doe shit on top of it. How many guys are loose cannon?
How many bodies you got on me?
Yeah, right fucking P. Lee confirmed kill confirm kill not they were a hot audience. I'm talking about actual people will go how many do you kill goes?
Yeah, it's that I'm eating wings that drop one ago. Oh shit. So repissure
I'm eating wings that drop one ago. Oh shit.
Here's your chair. I'm terrified of guns, but I'd love to load up on an enemy coming through a door. Well, my question is where is parents? How old is he? Shoot them. Okay. So this is this is literally proof that there's that there's
Like racial injustice in our system. So
He's a rich white kid who his family is like a prominent,
like white family in California.
And he has previously attacked cops.
He kicked out a cop car and he's still alive.
Like Tommy, no figure son.
Give us the name off air.
Give us the name off air.
We'll write it.
Tell all articles.
What you don't know about Jay and I is we go deep in the
journalistic sense.
Yeah, he his family is very well connected and and they're,
you know, it's just he really is a like a living example of
white privilege and he's a trust fund kid that he lives in a
house that his trust pays for and he literally he shouldn't
even be able to allow, be
allowed to live in our neighborhood because he is, so he's not an owner. He's a renter
or he's a tenant of this. And so can you go above him to his, to his landlord and be like,
this is a problem. Well, his landlord is his father. And in his landlord, his, or his
dad has been like giving him legal
representation for every single thing that he's done wrong.
His dad has been just like bankrolling all of this because the township would rather
that guy than any black family.
Black glue.
Let's write some fucking letters, dude.
Let's get shit going over there.
I don't like where this is going.
Yeah, black glue.
I yeah, it's just it's a I mean, it really is a testament to if you're rich and white,
you can get out of anything.
And he's, but I'm the first person that hasn't, I think the first person that hasn't
signed the agreement.
But if you look at his, if you look at his history, he's been getting restraining orders
against him since the day he turned 18.
And so like this, this kid's been a problem for a long time.
And how old is he now? He's 30
Yeah, and
Doesn't he just getting told to stay away? Yeah
Why don't you booby trap the outside of your house? Yeah, home alone
I'll be honest with you you can go online you can go on line
You could booby trap your help when this guy comes you're thinking he's like walking up to your window to hit your window like
You could booby trap your hot when this guy comes you're thinking he's like walking up to your window to hit your window like
The hidden where he steps on a rake and it puts a fucking nail through his head or something. Oh, he
Watch death wish three Watch death wish three and then I'll do all that so honestly all I want is
So he has another trial coming up. I think actually tomorrow is his next court date But they he keeps going to court and because his family has money and
the judge keeps going like, okay, you've had good behavior, you haven't any police
called, you haven't any arrests in over like three months, so we're just going to keep
going with this.
And his family, they've been lying to the court saying that he's been getting psychiatric
help and he went to and they said that he went to an offsite facility and he didn't and we have confirmation that that didn't happen.
And it's just it's one of those things where the courts are just so forgiving for this
guy. But I hope that at some point he just gets charged and he has to have a consequence
for his behavior. Like I want it to happen the legal way.
Yeah.
Because as of now this kid and his friends are dominating your ass, dude.
Right now, I mean, it's fucking, it sounds like you have a special out right now,
and it seems like it's consuming your life.
Yeah, I mean, honestly, it was for a long time, and I mean, I'm talking about it now,
because I feel like we're friends and we can go deep and all that stuff.
Sure.
And also, by the way, if he's listening to this,
motherfucker, I can legally talk about all of this because I want a court case.
So if I would have lost it, I couldn't tell the details of it, but because I want it.
So they, they try to silence you every opportunity they get because they don't want
public knowledge that their son is a active problem and they are just bankrolling it.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And by the way, the dad, the dad has been coming, we have video of him coming
around the house like videotaping and photographing into our windows, which the DA of LA is looking
into the dad now because in Article 13 of our criminal defense protection, our criminal defense order is that no one can stalk you
on behalf of your stalker.
And the dad, the dad has literally like deputized himself
to like be creepy to us on behalf of his son.
It's, it's hard to tell you go out there
and ax kick that father in the clavicle.
I mean, start making some fucking,
start to let him know who they're fucking with.
Go get your karate pants on
And then just go stand in the
Train like train in a window
Trash
What the fuck it's all it's like wood and bloody knuckles would
Dude we will hire an old Asian man with long facial hair to stand in the front lawn smoking a pipe going
Excellent beta
Excellent
Enter at your own risk you crazy far. Hey look who it is. It's the shit house rat
I'm thinking about my trash. This is legal. I could take out my trash. Hey, so I can take out my trash
You have a fuck with the wrong the book
Dude, I hope I was like oh my god. I'm gonna. I was for you know one of my favorite things about the court thing
And like I can I could literally read I bought the quote so you when you go to court
You can buy a court transcript for like $700 and you have to buy it from the transcript lady
Like you do that for Jerry Springer, too you can buy a court transcript for like $700. And you have to buy it from the transcript lady. Like it's like,
You can do that for Jerry Springer too.
Isn't that weird?
You know the transcripts of Jerry Springer.
Or so crazy.
Or court weird.
So in, when the judge was handing him his, you know,
his sentence and, and his, her ruling, I guess I could say,
she goes, she goes, you're only allowed to leave the house
once a day and only to take
up the trash.
And then he whispers to his lawyer and his lawyer says to the judge, but what if he wants
to go visit his other friends that live in the neighborhood and like all of us neighbors
that were all together because we went in together on these restraining orders and they consolidated
our hearing.
And we're just like shaking our head and we go, he't have any other friends and then he doesn't have any friends in
the neighborhood and the judge goes sir you do not have any friends in that neighborhood.
So a judge told him that he didn't have any friends.
That's so fun.
If I be trying to lie he goes I got tons of fur.
He goes name three of them.
Rick, Rick, Rick, Ricky, Ricky, Gina, Gina's one of the plaintiffs.
Not that, Gina.
Yeah, this is Gina who?
Gina GF.
Yeah, it's Gina G.
Yeah, Gina G.
Yeah, she plays drums.
I do.
She goes into the school.
Yeah, it's wild.
It's wild, but, yeah.
Your neighbors, are your neighbors like,
is this like a welcome to the neighborhood kind of thing with their like
Oh, yeah, it looks like he took
What are you doing? You're on the road and like you chick so much so
So I recently I went through a breakup which I agreed with her that I wouldn't talk about her on the air and
I can say that I'm I'm now single and I have the house to myself
But did you sacrifice her to the wacko guy?
Yeah, I just shot her the leg and kicked her towards them.
I just pushed her into his driveway.
Yeah, you put on the chain connected to the thing.
I fed dinosaurs.
What are you doing?
Just hang out here for a second.
I got to go inside.
I'm going to kill you. Just hang out here for a second. I gotta go inside.
I'ma kill you.
Wow, man.
So is there, I mean, it sucks to go through a breakup,
but then there is that relief of she's no longer in the way of harm.
Yeah, I whenever I went on the road, I really worried about her.
And she worried about herself.
And a lot of times when I was gone, she would actually go stay with friends and you know
I'd be lying if I if I said that like this this creep didn't contribute to this, you know
Which all right, man, you got you got a win man if you wanted to break us up
You did but you know it made for a very not romantic environment and
You know to and I have a great house. I literally
live on the ocean in the palisades. And I got a, I like, I got a deal on how I got a
COVID deal of the century. And so it's like a dream neighborhood. And when I moved in,
nobody told me about this guy. And then all of a sudden stuff started popping off.
And then, oh, Scott? No, he's great.
Why don't you invite him over?
Sally.
Sally, do not.
You should have him combine.
You do some yard work for yourself.
Maybe making him bring by his famous patina salad.
Yeah.
They tell you at all.
They were just doing fucking with you.
Yeah, they were like,
every couple of years things get really crazy with him. And then they
they showed me all these documents from the HOA of like complaints against him. And then
you know, like he started to get creepy real fast. And then I started to look up stuff on
the, you know, LA courts dot dot. I'd wake up in the middle and I'd to go pee and he'd be sitting on my side porch,
just tapping his toes and just looking into my window. And I was like, okay,
that's not normal behavior. And the first time you saw it, did you say something?
Yeah, the first time I saw it, I was like, Hey, dude, what are you doing? Not cool.
Leave. Like that's not okay. Yeah, sorry.
Yeah, kind of. And you know, like when you told him stuff like that, it wasn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. Yeah, kind of. And, you know, like, when you told him stuff like that,
it wasn't his first time, I wasn't the first person
that told him, like, hey, you're being creepy buzz off.
Like, like, he has a whole game going, you know?
Like, like, like, he has, he has like a methodology
of how he stalks people.
Change, um, and one, looking guy.
Uh, I mean, he's, he's six foot one.
He's about a hundred and I think, I think 175 pounds, you know,
per his driver's license.
You know, he's not a small guy.
And like I said, he has that like, like, like classic school shooter haircut.
Yeah.
And you know, he, the problem with him, um, like I said, legally, I can't say what's,
like what's going on with him mentally, but you know,
it there's a predatory nature there that really drives it all because you can you can have different
you know, like you can have different psych issues going on and you can be a really great person
and live a really full life. But if you're also a predator on top of that, that's where the problem lies.
Gee, everybody, future vindicated murder repeatedly.
Yeah.
I'm so excited from the kill this guy.
I mean, this is, I can laugh at that, but I can't say it.
I literally can't say it.
I can just laugh.
You're so silly.
No, you can laugh for sure, but I'm saying, I want, I hope the first two shots don't
put them down. They drop them, but they don't put them down
So you get to lean so you get to squat over and give them one of those last things he goes
Oh, remember you were saying you wanted to get
Now you didn't know me. Oh, the biblical level. No, I would just you just do the walkover
You don't even bend down you stand you go
It's always gonna come to this
It was always going to come to this. Or you could do the first two, just drop them like maybe in their legs or the stomach
or something, and then not even casual nothing.
You finish like last bite of your plum and throw it over your shoulder and you don't even
look, you just shoot down as you walk by them.
That's pretty cool too.
All these things are above board by the way.
No matter what, after it happens, you have to sigh out and go,
it's finally over.
It's finally over.
And then get ready for him to set up.
And then you call your extra often, you go, he's gone.
It's over.
It's over.
It's done.
The ghost is clear.
It's time to come back.
I call her like John Wick wishes he could have called
his dog.
Yeah.
Welcome home. Come on, home pup. Yeah, come on, home.
Come on, home, up.
Yeah, it's, it's, I don't think he smoked cigarettes at all,
Pete, but I'll tell you what, after you kill a man,
you gotta sit outside on your front porch
and smoke a cigarette while you wait for the cops.
And just when they come, because the cigarettes
the best thing they have in your hand when you go,
back there, and there you go, check out the body.
It's, yeah, I will definitely, maybe I should go out and buy a pack
Well, no, no because even if I did that per your suggestion that would be premeditated
I'm not I'm not premeditating anything
Next time you see somebody smoke and bomb a cigarette just keep that one around you only one
Just keep it around keep it around
Doesn't matter if it's still you only need for when you hear the sirens light it up so you can get to do that
Or you see the blue in the car goes even before you can hear the sirens you see the blue and reds flickering
Yeah, strike it up. I see cherries and blueberries this guy has attacked so many people that when you call 911 and you say his name on 911
They can't show up with less than six officers that are in armored
riot gear because he's he's hurt an officer before and he's still and our HOA is still allowing him
to live here. I thought it was more like I thought you're gonna see when you called 911. They go,
if this is emergency press one, if this is about Billy Thompson
Seven Is he in your house?
I'm at a dinner right now. I'll get right back to you if he's out of your house. He's in the front yard
I can we got to wrap it up. We always got to wrap this up
Pete Lee's new special out on showtime right now tall dark and pleasant
Pete I seriously hope that this issue gets resolved legally and you're okay and you can sleep well at night.
I will check him out on the road go to visit peatley.net to see all this.
Yeah watch my special while I'm still alive.
That's what this could be my LaBamba.
Get in the ground level.
Get in the ground level.
Don't jump on fucking don't jump on, fuck it. Don't jump on the
horse afterwards. I was there when he was alive. I knew him in the flesh.
Dan Soder dot com big J comedy dot com. I'll be in spokane spokane spokane spokane.
Dan's going to be an Edison. I'll be in Dallas, Texas. I'm going to be at the
Lohoya comedy store this weekend, 16 through the 18th and follow me on Instagram at PetleyPetleyPetley Tour dates Petley.net.
Well, we love you guys coming on, dude.
Enjoy the show tomorrow and we'll catch you guys live on Monday.
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