The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Free Falling (feat. Sophie Buddle)
Episode Date: October 27, 2022Comic Sophie Buddle gets the wind knocked out of her. ...
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And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and dance odor.
I'm with you.
With you.
What a Canadian princess.
She is.
Speaking of Canadian princesses.
Princesses of the North?
Princesses of the North?
We have one with us.
Joining us for the first time on the show, the hilarious Sophie Buttle everybody.
Sophie's got a podcast, obsessed
with Sophie Buttle and her album, Little Bit of Buttle, and she'll be playing at the comedy
nest in Montreal. Nice. November 10th, 11th and 12th. We just worked together on the
nasty show and we're up there. Awesome. For the whole festival, right? Yeah, yeah, it was
great. It was for a really long time. Yeah, it was my first time really hanging out with
Sophie. It was so funny. She was so great and fun to hang out with.
Hell yeah.
I'm so excited that we just got to listen to Avril Avine. That was really exhilarating.
Was that, and that was your first concert?
You said that was your first concert?
That was my first concert. I ever bought tickets to, like, with my own money.
It's my dad's a musician. So he would take me to, like, lame stuff that you guys probably like, you know.
What was it like?
But then this was the real music.
Yeah. I want to see what she's doing. It's gonna hurt.
And my dad took me to like a nine inch nails concert
when I was really little.
And you didn't like it.
I mean, it's no Avril Lavigne.
It's funny.
It's funny.
It's funny to see anything to say.
You see her, Black Lou just giggled.
He can believe it.
He's like, that's how I feel.
And but also Avril Lavigne has Lyme disease
as does Justin Bieber.
And it's just really embarrassing for like Canadian people of interest that everyone has Lyme disease
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the ticks are getting out of here. They're all music and this is gonna beat the odds
But they couldn't beat ticks. Yeah, they go we're begging Drake to stay away from high grass
Yeah, any Canadian that can really fucking well, though like just keep them away check them every time he comes inside check
I only think you've done checking, check it.
That's when you start checking. Go again.
Because there's a tick on him. We're going to lose him.
Just when you think we're done, here he comes again.
How do you think we lost Gettie Lee?
Daryl Hall's got Lyme disease also.
Damn, dude.
All I know about Lyme's disease is it makes you slap your roommate Steven in the face
if you're ever a world Seattle.
Do the heck I have Lyme disease.
All I know is Steven slaps you remember he opened the door went
Boop no because of lime disease Irene. Yeah, she was friends with a comic
I was at about lime disease and one time at aseville. I was drunk just sitting at a bar of comedy club and I'm like half drunk and I go man
You look like Irene from Seattle real world. I am Irene from Seattle real world that I was like you slap your bopper
real world. I am Irene from Seattle. I was like, you slept. You're a bopper.
Right on your nose. You slept. I am Irene. Oh shit.
You're lucky. You're lucky. I'm going to hit with me if it's a boop on the nose.
If it's a boop, nobody knows that.
Yeah. Men get horny balls. If it's a boop, a correction.
Hey, if it's a correcting, if it's a correcting, actually, yeah, you gotta put it.
You put it. Don't just do it. You had a bad day at work.
Don't get there cheeks or there eyebrows.
You hit them right on their nose.
You can poop.
Pop, pop, poop.
But that was pretty crazy.
Her being like, yeah, that is me.
I was like, oh, hi.
Were you wearing a neck tie and a t-shirt at this concert?
Probably.
I probably went for it.
Well, I remember I saw my second concert was Hillary Duff.
And that was a big year for me.
So I was at the Avrilivian and then Hillary D Duff and I definitely did like a big, I don't
know if you guys know about the Duff Puff, but like I said, Hillary Duff.
If you hadn't had your period, that would have forced it out.
Yeah, that would have forced your period to happen.
Out of the period, run away.
Yeah, I don't know.
Hillary Duff.
It's just coming out of you.
No, mama, what's happening?
What did you expose this woman to?
Too much feminine powers.
She was all girl boss, I'm bleeding.
I didn't natural hysterectomy to Florence in the machine car.
Yeah, is that a puff?
Yeah, that's the puff that front, that front bobble.
Yeah, nice and you rock that at the.
Yeah, for years though, not just at the top.
That, the hold that, that look had on me was crazy
How did you feel about when Avril Levine? I mean this must have been
Fairytale for Canadian music when Chad Kroger started dating Avril Levine. That's the royal family
Yeah, I mean Mark and William. Yeah, I think the prophecy has been fulfilled
That was big they had to find each other through that some 41 guy who looks like he smells like boogers. Yeah
You know, to the party line camp. Yeah, he looks like he comfortably sleeps on carpet. Oh, with that. Yeah, he doesn't give a shit
There's one ever man where I pass out. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy
He carries around sprite bottles, but there's alcohol in them. You've never slept in a trunk of a car
That's all right amidst your t-shirts and then Chad Kroger stole her away and said ride with me my queen
Oh those two definitely ride white horses every morning before they have a prepared meal that involves like cereals and
Baking the cereal or bacon that's cut weird
Circle bacon
or bacon that's cut weird. Circle bacon.
Fat.
Circle bacon.
Tuh.
It's called ballooning and we don't want it.
Tuh, that's not what you put with eggs.
Tuh.
Uh, you don't put that with eggs.
Let's get this shit out of here.
Are they divorce now?
Mm, I don't know.
I mean, I think he's got to stand by her with her Lyme disease.
This is not being so heartless.
That would be because I'm leaving you and you know why it's spelled
L.
Why?
It is.
Why?
It's a nice big M.
I can't go in the woods with you.
I wonder what it makes her do is make her fucking crazy or something.
Well, you leave someone with lime disease.
What do you like?
I think you kill him.
Yeah, but I mean, like I think if it's caught, I think it's not deadly.
I think I just make you drowsy
Yeah, you're gonna sleep you person. Oh, I'd love that you don't drowsy all the time I know I think I have Lyme disease
Guys have like a girl to be have Lyme disease. We just nap all the time. Did you use biological warfare on
A lot she goes Dan what's in your hand it a tick
She goes, Dan, what's in your hand? A tick.
I threw it in from the outside.
I got a shitty burrowed into my finger.
He's like, oh no, I took this off you.
Yeah, no, I held it.
That's the new Rufi.
Yeah, hey, I was checking your hair and I found this.
Oh, are they divorced?
Yeah.
Yeah, it says, who is Avril Lavigne dating in 2021?
Look at Clean Shave and Chad Kroger, I don't trust it.
Damn, dude.
No, he needs his whole patch.
Look at him. Dude smells Kroger. I don't trust it damn dude. No, he needs a soul patch
All the point length all of his features were put on his chin. He looks like
He knows what he about him. He looks like a kid from a Disney movie that dates an adult at the end like it's okay
Like blank check where that grown woman kisses that boy and we're like it's how the movie should end
That's he's like what a bizarre looking dude go down let's see he does look like a child star that grew up yeah we like do you
know that he was from this show you like watch that all the time I know child
starts that are so cute always grow up and look like perverts yeah well they're
they're warped who she she did now? Pete Davidson?
Yes, yes.
This guy.
Who is that?
Flames Acoustic.
Who's Flames Acoustic?
Ma.
Do you know him?
That's the name of the guy.
His name's Flames Acoustic.
His name's Ma.
Ma.
Ma.
His name's Flames Acoustic.
Hi, I'm Flames Acoustic.
Acoustic is actually Estonian.
A lot of people don't know.
He's like, my name's Flames Acoustic. He goes, what can I call you? Because I'monian a lot of people know. He's like my flames acoustic goes,
what can I call you?
Because I'm not doing that the whole time.
Honestly, Jerry.
Call the Jerry.
You can call it Jim.
Mod son, M-O-D-S-U-N.
So she's jumped from Chad Kroger now.
She has to go to everyone's getting that Pete Davidson itch now.
Everybody wants their skinny tattooed.
God.
Yeah, it was a big dick.
It was a big dick who's not afraid to cry too much.
They want to, they want to, they want to say it.
They want to, they want to say it.
We were like a stop cry, somebody goes,
they want to know the stupid pain in the world.
They want to, they want to sad, but also like disengaged.
Mentally ill, just mentally ill is fine.
Yeah, Kim Kardashian was like,
we should make mentally ill boys in.
Well, she's always been drawn to mentally ill Yeah, have you guys already talked about Kanye today?
No, I'm not talking about today. No, we don't recognize it because Jay's Jewish and we don't do the hair really well
Yes, Dan we are Jewish. I don't know you're not ready for this worry
I don't like this guys hold on real quick
Dan did believe me when I told you think that you should thank us for allowing you to succeed in Hollywood Hold on real quick. I'm not gonna lie. My team of heebs have been doing very well for quite some time.
Dan's also, I got a fucking SWAT team.
Dan's also pissed me because he doesn't believe me when I gave him his adult circumcision.
I sucked the blood out.
He told me that was gay, but I was telling him it's part of the tradition.
I'm a phobic and anti-Semitic to not let him suck your dick.
It was crazy, but when he did, and then he kissed it and blessed it.
And then I felt the power of the Torah.
Oh, good.
And then I felt the power of a Jerome.
I put it up with something that's out there.
Let me suck your wiener, maschugin' it.
Did I tell you right now?
I'm not a man cut my penis to be Jewish.
I wanted to be Jewish my whole life.
And I am, by the way, for the record,
Hartford Hospital, this does it.
Yeah.
You're born, they fucking...
You have a very Jewish facial hair.
Well, thank you.
I was going with Rabbi.
You have therapist hair.
You have a therapist facial hair.
Dude, I'm single white female in Alan.
He's gonna show up to your therapist over and over and tell the doctor.
Oh, black?
He goes,
Hey, feel this, me goes,
Feel pretty good
Damn, are you doing it? Why are you doing that? I know why are you doing it? Yeah?
You ever think sometimes you're being this patient on purpose of course
You guys don't you of course me of course me of course of course, of course course course course
Yeah, holy shit. Well now she's dating a mentally ill boy that has chest tattoos.
We assume it's mentally ill.
Yeah, but if you can't grow a chest hair, you can put something on there.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, do you know where all the Tom Celix of the world?
Yeah, it is true.
You never see a chest bush anymore.
Yeah, do you know if a machine gun Kelly and Travis Barger shave at each other then and
showers every week?
No, I think they're slick like eels.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
It doesn't grow at all.
No, they're just like boy bodied
and then they just doodle on it.
I bet they have unruly dick hair though.
Wiery for sure.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, the weather like yeah.
It's like eating crawfish.
Yeah, but it's a lot of work.
It's a get to.
A lot of legs, a lot of legs.
A lot of legs who kick it up and go like, you gotta like, you gotta part of the middle and. It's a get to. A lot of legs. A lot of legs and kicking off.
You got to like, you got to, you got to part of the middle and like choose as a dog.
I'm going to do show it.
But the Kardashians are meanians, so they're used to getting through hair.
So I don't think, yeah, I don't think she fucking, yeah.
There's only enough money for one deharing in the family and it's got to be them.
She have to get this like smooth dolphin boy to move in with you.
I was wondering if you could go right on my deck
Travis is being the hair
The hair salon taken sorry
Connys mental illness is turning me on now more
Dude Kanye is got drop from Adidas. Yeah everything
I also think oh his he lost his two biggest clients on Don
the sports Aaron Donald dropped him in the player from the Celtics Jalen Brown. Oh really?
Gone left his management company. Oh, really? I guess Jalen brothers think that white lives matter. Wow
You know, it's funny as they did come out Jaylen Brown basically both athletes came out and they went show
loam. They're playing to the room.
They came out in their statements and they're like,
Hey, what do you want? He fits in all over.
I'm worried. You know, it's hard to find a good white fish in Los Angeles.
He showed up to sketchers.
And had he be removed. Is that real stories?
Is that real news stories from an hour ago?
No. Yo, man, I want to know why sketches can never be air walks, man. And had to be removed is that real story is that real news from an hour
I want to know why sketches can never be air walks man
You think you did the healy's
Dictates a healy I was zoom in around because I had it in that perfect period of like before it was banned from schools Because schools have like those like the earliest halls. Oh, so I was cracking my skull open like cause I was going so fast and falling obviously.
Wait, because no one expects
that you're putting your book back on
and as soon as it goes,
heads up, look out, coming down quick.
Here comes bottle.
I've ever wanted it to zoom around.
I bought a pair of healy's on eBay recently
because I've really been wanting to like
wear them on stage for my whole set
and then like zoom off.
And then into my set.
Do you healing too and from the microphone? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I guess just a regular girl. And are you good at healing? I'm really good. I have really flexible calves.
That's what it is.
You have to do some weird, like,
yeah, you gotta have your toes up.
Tows up and you just wheel around.
Zoom and around.
I was the fastest.
I was so fast.
I mean, New York City, you're just gonna look like magical.
Like zooming around the sidewalk.
I've last for more than a block.
Healy's in New York City.
Yeah, we're just gonna start.
No, can't do it in New York City.
It's good at a mall, it's good in a school.
You need like a little bit of a minute floors. No, yeah,'s got to be a smooth service. You can't be healing around.
I'm gonna start going to Pablin going over head. I did. Yeah, she gets tossed like one of those
skiers going downhill into the net. That's me. It's me trying to be hot for the skateboarders.
I school, but nobody's turned on by the healing This girl does her homework right after school. Yeah
Girl looks like she goes home early in a special man
It was yeah, I was giving mental mental disability
Yeah, yeah, I don't know it looks like the government gives her family money
Where you all did you you didn't go like helmet and pads?
I'm cool like I have bad taste but I'm cool. Yeah. When they were like,
I think it's why I didn't teach my daughter how to ride a bike. I think she showed up with the elbow
pads and the helmet on. I was like, oh, he just figured out, figured out someone to teach me,
because if I fell, I was going down, losing teeth or whatever. Oh, totally. You're all safetyed up.
My dad really wanted me to wear wrist guards or something
because I was really into snowboarding for a really long time.
I guess your wrists are the same because you follow a lot.
Yeah, it's the easiest thing to break.
And obviously I took them off immediately.
I'm not going to wear them.
And then I really entered my wrist because I was like,
we're on a school ski trip.
And everybody was going off of this jump.
It was on kind of the side of the hill.
And I wasn't very good at snowboarding,
but I was like, my plan was like,
I'm gonna get a lot of air
because air doesn't seem to really take skill.
It's like you just gotta really commit to speed, right?
And so I was going for it
and I was like, oh my, it's so much air.
It's gonna be so much fun.
But because I wasn't good at going straight,
I hit the jump on a curve and I went into the forest
and I hit a tree and I really injured my wrist
That must have been one of the funniest things in the world to do
It's Sophie being like look
Into a tree that's right into a tree. Yeah, she's like I'm Sophie and this is Jackass
I'm so this is sideways off a cliff
Well while I was in the air I was like this is a lot of air, I'm really good.
Really?
Yeah.
We have to remote you,
it's the most exhilarating moment.
You ever see hot movie hot rod,
it was my favorite music up in the air on the ramp
and they looked down the motorcycles
nowhere underneath them,
and he's still giving a thought to us.
There's no mower, he's like, I am nailing this.
I had the opposite problem of Sophie
where when I rollerbladedaded I was really bad at it
And the one thing all my friends were like yo you suck at rollerblading wear risk cards because you'll break
And so I was like oh yeah totally and they had that little bump in the middle, you know
It was like this bump on the little flap and I was like all right and they had a ramp in front of a yard
And everyone's going off the ramp and like doing cool tricks and I I
Rollerbladed like rollerblade down the street and go off the ramp and like doing cool tricks. And I did. Some of that. I did. Or that. Brake ramps.
Yeah, you like roll everybody down the street
and go off the ramp and then like, it dive into the yard.
The blade doesn't look cool.
Now, not really.
And I was really bad at it.
I was at my feet like out like that.
You look cool with healy zones.
I would love to have healy.
They have shown him healy's stuff.
Bells.
Tell you the fuck go up.
Superman.
They come back.
180.
I'm gonna drop in on TV,
then blow everyone blind.
Just down in a half-life.
All right, guys, and begin.
You guys want to watch me hit this McTwist
on my heels?
So I did the opposite of you.
I didn't commit.
I didn't go for the air.
I was all about, I would straight down the middle,
but then I went up and down I just went like
Vroom paint and I went right on my risk guard went right under my rib
I'm dead son and this is failing at rollerbladed
Go I'm not I had a bad wipe out skiing
I've never had a bad wipe out in the other ones because I've never given them any ice skating. I've
Going around the thing one time holding the edge the entire time and still falling four or five times doing that and then when you fall
You just go down to one knee and then you're like, yeah, and I go
By the way, it's funny is because there's an acceptance of falling. When you're afraid to do anything else at a moment and you just go,
the sort of like,
it's such a good child I had enough.
It's sad. It's sad when I can't do it.
I can't anything that where my feeders like locked into a skateboard, snowboards,
skiing, I can't do any of it.
There was one day, Lisa and I were walking.
I think it was from the nasty show in Montreal and she fell.
And it happened really slowly like that.
But not on skates or anything. We were just walking. She felt really, yeah, you could but it happened really slowly like that. But not on skates or anything, we were just walking.
And she felt really, yeah, you could see it happened really slowly.
And then she was so cute, she was so embarrassed.
She was like, oh, I fell down.
It's like the third time I fell this month.
And it was just so cute.
And the thing is that you could tell,
she fell so gracefully that you could tell
that she's fallen a lot recently.
She knows how to fall.
She's like a stunt man.
Dance and she's rolled over. Yeah. She's a to fall. She's like a stunt man. And dancing, like rolled over to the post.
She's tucked her shoulder.
First rule of being Lisa, you're gonna fall.
So what I like to do is I embrace them.
Like the end of break dancing,
where you like, you lock your legs.
Oh yeah, I do want to meet you.
Yeah.
She goes, I gave it a professional wrestler,
so I know to make my back flat.
Do you remember the first time you got the win knocked out of you?
Yeah, that was the, I mean, on the roller blades. That's what I was thinking, but I went with my cousin. I bought a Mongoose bike
I bought like a like a trick bike and I was like I'm gonna learn how to do this
And I went to my cousin's house. You do it a lot of work to not learn how to skateboard
Everything but yeah, I was like skateboarding fuck that I can't do it because I'm like you I would just like I'd get on
I am a you to cycle or though fuck that, I can't do it. Cause I'm like you, I would just like, I'd get all the way to the cycle or the other.
Yeah, I'll do everything.
Hand skates, I'll learn how to handle your hand skates,
all four, like a dog.
But we took my bike, my mom put the bike in the back of her car
and I stayed at my cousins for the,
and he was the same age, but he was live across town.
And they had all these dirt jumps.
Then I was like maybe like 10.
And I was like, dude, I'm about to show these big kids
what's up.
And I, same thing, I went down wrong,
but the center part of my bike went into my stomach.
And I was like, and I just remember making the noise
and then having to sit to the side as I was like,
and then trying to act cool again and being like,
okay, I think I'm ready to try again.
No, yeah, my story is identical.
I moved to Ohio to my dad's for that like six months,
but that all being haywire.
Oh, it's always under dad's watch
that you get the wind knocked out of you.
But it was, there was, again, these,
I came from living in a city.
So when I'm out there, they have a woods with a dirt track
they made for like you know like
Derp bikes mountain by what do you call the ones that are not not motorized though like the pedal bikes. Yeah BMX bike Yeah, and you know at a bike so like I remember going to the first day with like you know three
New friend they're new yeah, I'm living there for weeks at this point you guys are doing that like track
And you have that first data energy where it's going well with new friends
We're like what's your favorite cartoon character?
That's my favorite
That's what fucking going on in trouble
But I did the exact thing you do wrong with a ramp the opposite of what Sophie did when she was like first thing
I'm gonna do is get some air
I'm like I'm gonna get some big air and then I come down the thing you stucking up the ramp and then my instincts are completely slow down
So then you just like no get to the ramp and then my instincts are completely slowed down so you just like get to the ramp and drop the entire ramp down and just like you said
landed on the thing, I think the handbrake's my thing and you go, and then I've
never not carried home whatever I was doing after you but like I don't know why
I'm still would have been better to ride the bike home and more comfortable. I was like, oh, oh, oh,
I'm not crying by the way,
this is happening against my will.
Also acting like the bike is defective
is the main thing when you get up and you go,
I don't know what's going on.
Hey,
twisting something,
like this is something and not calibrated.
You move your handlebars and go,
this isn't turning around.
This isn't turning around.
Get out of tune.
Get out of tune.
You're starting looking like, let me say a thing I need a new line on this thing.
You guys is, is your guys just, have you ever done it where the handlebars bend forward?
Yes.
And then you have to hold the tire in between your knee, bring it back up, you go like,
all right, that's working again.
What was the first time you, okay, mine is worse, mine is lame, because I was on my own,
because I'm only child too
So all my injuries happened just on my own I tell you what as a fellow
He was the only child through 11 yet when you're and those are the fall down ages
You really learned in black. Lou was an only child. You really learned that you're just like
Oh, this is what the world is world is tough and nobody's watching
And so I was at we're at like
It was a ski place, but it was in the summertime and I was at like, it was a ski place,
but it was in the summertime.
And I was standing on the top of a really steep hill,
and then right at the bottom of the hill,
there was like a road, and then there was the building,
and it had a garden in front of it,
and the garden was just held in with like a square block of wood.
Okay, and so I'm standing on the top of the hill,
and I was like, I'm gonna run down.
And I had a...
But you were running?
Well, I was...
It's Canadian fun, dude.
Yeah.
Well, I also had like a really tight denim mini skirt on.
Like really tight, like...
So this run is gonna be like...
Yeah, but I didn't think about that.
I didn't think about that at all.
I was just like, I'm gonna run down this really steep hill.
And so for fun, instead of having friends or brothers,
you're gonna run there.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys set up my parents making another child.
All right, down this very steep hill.
And instead of the love of family,
I will run downhill.
I got this.
And so I start running and I can feel pretty quickly,
like just my knees below are the only place
there's any kind of movement.
And so I'm kind of loo, I'm keeping up with it it pretty good but I make it all the way past the road like all
the way down the road and then I trip and I fall ribs onto the wood corner part
I got a big slice all across my ribs I got the wind knockout of me and I remember
just laying there looking at the sky being like I'm gonna die because when you
the first time you lose your breath you're like well I'm gonna die I can. I can't breathe anymore. I'm dying. I'm suffocating. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're like, oh
Did you did you first time you got the win knocked out of you black glue were you alone? Yeah, I was an only child
Yeah, but I was playing pop-worn for the first time
Family on a trampoline
Pop-worn is like the name a little
I heard popcorn. I heard popcorn went that's like when you like I'll sit on the
trampoline. Oh yeah, I ran about that. Also,
dangerous.
It's dangerous also. Yeah, whatever to do to get brothers.
No, the coach kicked it and I was the first one to run and get it because I was a
fastest on the team and didn't realize they would dog pile me. Oh, and the ball
was in my stomach and they all just jumped on it. I mean, you're on me. I'm breathing, I'm breathing, I'm breathing. Can I tell you, can I tell you about my wifits gang fast yet?
No.
Oh, dude, this was a goodie.
Because D'Rosa notoriously had a shitty in front of people.
But I went there to do Ari Shafir's reading story teller show.
Yeah.
I think it was in the Sheath Lounge.
Yeah.
Have the thing.
And they took me through a back entrance that takes you on to the, if you're looking
at the stage stage right.
Mm-hmm.
But Ari had people lined up all over the stage, but there's still a backstage area.
No steps.
Very, very high.
Yeah.
Uh, and are you talking about where the bonfire was?
No. No, no, no., she's lounge was the other biggest moment
You did all the comedy the best comedy. Oh, yeah, we did this we we we're that's we're on the same show there
Yeah, that's a fun show. That was insane also by the way that movie theater
It was nice to be put on that show, but I had to follow like you crushed so hard Dan crush and then godfrey went up and
Crush and then they sent me off. Nobody's heard of me
Hey So my parents are African and then God free went up and got free. God free me. And then they sent me up. Nobody's heard of me. I'm like, hi. Hey, hey guys.
So my parents are African.
And I am heard.
But so I came on that stage and there was people
who got like lined all up along it,
a curtain in front of them, and then just like the backstage
area.
So she goes, yeah, you have to kind of go around.
We have to get to the other stage.
You can walk behind the stage. We have to get up here and she was like you know if you want a girl saying this to you
So you're like you want to look stupid and silly either but she goes I'm holding a scolding hot tea
They've just given me and a water
Water for some reason I've uncapped for some reason and this hot tea
It could have been more hell. Yeah, exactly. I was holding up somebody's knife uncapped for some reason. And this hot tea. You're very vulnerable.
It could have been more hilarious.
Yeah, exactly.
I was holding a fish aquarium I was holding
between my living and the last.
Dude, it's funny.
You fall and spill that.
That's a cup of acid.
Yeah.
Jay, thanks for coming to Skankvist.
Here's your cup of acid.
Yeah, and you're not to put a little on that.
Yeah, so and're dry ice.
This is Sunday, Sunday day.
Yeah.
So it was my first thing getting there Sunday.
And that was I said, I don't know, was Saturday.
If I could have been COVID, it could have been
any number of things, but adrenaline dumped
from the special, whatever it was, my legs and body were
just like, I felt like I was hit by a truck.
I didn't feel sick.
Just physically, my body felt like it was fucked up.
Yeah, you did a lot, there's different ways out of it.
So I was like, I'm gonna get up on this thing and this lady's like,
she's offering me the fad escape, where she's doing like the,
you can just sit on it, kind of swing your legs around,
and then you have to kind of get up and old man your way about it.
I was like, I was almost sweetheart, I'll be fine.
And I put my foot up there, it's so high,
and I feel my leg already, just like hurting so much,
and their putty is what they actually are,
they're putty.
And I go, okay, Jay, you just gotta give everything
you got with this push off this left leg,
and you're gonna get your right leg up there,
and you'll be absolutely fine.
You're gonna rise up.
Rise up.
Rise up. And gonna rise up. Rise up.
And I rise up.
Um, Dad, I go, I give all that push and I immediately put my body way ahead of my
legs. You know that move and your legs will be high. And then I'll go back
onto the panic like body's forward. I'm squeezing the hot team.
Oh, no. Squeezing. And then just through the curtain where these people are
sitting, this must be a hot team or just
Blast on this side and then I don't stop until I go cringing into the wall with a
And then I gotta be like
Then I go the other side of the stage. It's the same height on the other side
So I jump down to do you know to go hang out there and then they go
Get a 360 yeah, when I'll be. And then, and then I'll do like, okay, you got a, I have to get back up there because I think I'm like, I want next or something.
And I do the whole I sit my ass down and twirl my little lady body around. He sat your
ass down and you listened to that lady. I did. And then got up there and did that two times
Thinking I was going on soon and then realizing I was gonna go back out to then find out after the show
There was stairs on that side. Oh
There was totally stairs. And as I said, I would beach myself like a whale to get up every time on stage. It was slippery from all the water
get up every time on stage. You can see it was slippery from over the water.
You dropped it.
He was over the stage.
The other side of the stage was fucked with Jake.
I just squeezed a scolding hot.
You got to be like, it's burning.
You're like, it's fine.
You're actually, this is good.
Meanwhile, one of your friends, Justin Silver's on stage,
going, then I look over, the panther's gone.
And they go, it's in a middle of a story.
And he goes, uh, hot water.
Why is it hot water?
He's in the splash zone.
Should've worn a poncho.
Yeah, if it was a snake fest, you get doused.
If there was nothing in front of me, I probably
would have died.
Yeah.
Because my body was going to stretch out at one point.
It was a full year ahead of my legs.
And my legs weren't catching up.
I love you, Comic-Cosying, these.
Blackloo, what does this say in the article about Kanye?
He's just in a full break right now
He's in a full mental whoily. Yeah, it's sad shit
But basically he showed up to sketchers Los Angeles offices. I'm assuming trying to get a deal
Sketchers is such a funny company to go to so funny. It's so late
Like like shape up. I'm not even gonna shape. Shout out Joe Montana. Yeah.
If you're keeping it. It makes sneakers a bigger grandma's ass looking again.
Dude, what the fuck? I mean, even him going to new balance makes more sense.
Yeah, that's at least the white print, white power sneakers.
Yeah, him going to sketchers. It's like you mean affordable skates shoes?
No, because they also don't respect whatever it is he's bringing.
Like he's bringing drift to the brand that is dry.
Yeah, I got this idea for these new ones that are made of sponge.
And you know, we actually have one that senior citizens can use to drive their car.
It doesn't scare them.
Are you proposing $800 sketchers?
Yeah, because our store rent isn't that
Because we're gonna tell you right now our sweet spots between
$29.99 and $49.99
How do you feel about these Yeezy's being available in a
Payless shoe source?
Well, you see I was trying to like grasp all of the things that he said because it's like not super clear
Everyone's saying that he was to do you know, you know, you're not a real thing or whatever
Yeah, and I saw the people on
the bridge that were like Kanye's right, Jews are, Jews are
okay. It was so funny to be the fifth guy to go for that. You guys
are going to go stand over the highway and hate on Jews. Yeah, I
need some outdoor time. I got pretty, he's got a pretty light
Wednesday. Anybody got some SPF 45? I'm gonna burn out there.
Oh yeah, that's me. I found that bridge. But I was like, looking, I couldn't really see
what it was exactly that he said,
because obviously just controlled the media.
So I scrubbed the internet, okay?
I'm not gonna be able to see it.
You guys got your grubby hands all over his comments.
Yeah, but it was really cool.
We'll see you back at HQ.
But I was seeing like a list of like all of the things
that he had done.
And I guess one of the things was he was showing pornography to the Adidas executives
And he said that he said that he wanted to make them feel as uncomfortable as he felt when they ripped his off of his designs
That's so what a weird thing and then the last thing on the list that's a tiger eating a mane
They're like I don't want to watch band from TV con. Yeah
And he goes no no no this lady gets hit by a train
Because she runs in front of the other train showing them porn's pretty fine. I think so what do people go?
It's like I don't get it
Don't you me uncomfortable he goes on the lady I'm the lady with the gaping asshole
And you're the man with the giant dick fucking
Yes, I don't say anything uncomfortable. Is this my daughter? We're watching
No pure stranger. Yeah, I'm just trying to chop up before I go back to my hotel
I know it's so confused. It has no and then okay, so then the last thing on the list was also that he I guess he made fat
Full bit comments about Lizzo
And that was the final thing and then they were like so as you can see it was an airy spirit doing an impression of him
Airy spears got you from a good final iso he made for a Lizzot too
What do you say I said she knows she's bigger?
I don't know. He said she looked like the shit emoji. She was shaped like the shit emoji in public. He's of that
Damn very spiritually new for oh
I don't know. No, no airy spirit. Yes. I know it's what airy spirit. Oh, yeah
I thought you're saying Kanye West. I'm like know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, man, I'm telling you, she's got a lot of blockage. And one of her arteries,
that's the worst kind of pulls on your heart.
Now, you got to understand I've been studying heart signs.
Yeah, he's just gonna be out.
If you buy Yez super beats,
I am atop Cardiologist and I would tell you that Kanye is correct.
Lizo has a very high blood pressure.
When Lizo loses 10 pounds and announces it, the bots on Instagram, they attack her for
losing weight because the media wants to put out a perception that being overweighs the
new goal, he said, when it's action healthy, I don't know if he's not wrong about the thing
being pushed forward about like, that is a weird narrative.
What that being, like the angriest thing.
The overweight is sexy.
Well, I'm saying I'd be like me being like
Kong Bobby, like a sell out now because Bobby
like got searched for lost weight.
I was gonna die, dude.
All right, Bobby, I thought you were happy as you were, bro.
But it always said that's why I'm saying
the problem is too many people buy into the belief
when they're like, yeah, I'm morbidly obese
and I am super stoked about it.
I'm beautiful and it doesn't matter and I'm whatever.
And then they get wealthy a lot of them, not a lot,
but several and do all the process as possible
to lose weight.
Like Rebel Wilson?
Yeah, and then everyone's like,
what the fuck, I thought you were big and beautiful
because I just was too lazy to figure it out.
You know, I just didn't figure it out.
I mean, I like it.
I like, I happen, I don't feel like I've heard the narrative that it's like being as big as you can is
is great. No, that's not there's no narrative. But but I do like that if that happens because I feel like being like dangerously
unhealthy skinny was viewed as like being perfect. Girls are all
standing up because they don't have enough. Yeah, and so how about if they're passing out from eating too much to like I think that at least that's fun
Yeah, yeah
I'd rather pass out from eating too
Bill Burries to have the fucking greatest bit. It was an old bit
I don't know if I made it on special about how fat people can it's like the morbid Leo beast like crazy obese
That's actually pretty rock and roll and they can exchange stories with like slash
Where slash is like yeah woke up and there was a needle in my arms guys like
yeah well I took camp pancake batter and I filled an entire trash can and then I
just drank it and slash is like that's fucking crazy.
Yeah that's like a matter of it.
This is old burbit where he was like yeah you don't need to be fucking you know
feel bad for fat people they live incredible lives.
There's a lot of fat.
There definitely haven't been fat bits
that have made it into specials.
Oh, Bill Barr, Fatists.
Uh-oh.
But you know what, Lizzo, Lizzo's athletic.
Like, you see a Lizzo concert, she's running around.
She's like, gain a stubble field.
She's just like a big detackle.
For sure.
Because she's like, I like it.
But that show, dude, I watched a little bit
of that give it up for the big girls.
Or if it makes noise to the big girls her dancer audition show and it's pretty funny.
They do like 30 second dances and they're like, yeah, but my question is, I don't think
you're picking up a third and three on them.
No, for sure you're not.
If they're running in between the tackles, they're stopping that.
They should sell candles of whatever that room smells like.
Oh my god.
Oh my, they catch some teachers smelling it in the parking lot. It smells like this. Yeah, it smells like this
It smells like nape
Is that the new nape came in? No, you know it's funny. It's a weird thing. There's a fat person myself
It was like seeing that argument though. I always get weird. I told you a long time ago
I remember waking up in the morning seeing a doctor Phil was just on my TV mm-hmm
And episode where they had like fitness people and like morbidly obese people.
And the fitness people are always pitted to look like mean because they, by the way, they are.
They have to basically play the character of like, get it together.
Like you're a slob and that's why your life is unhealthy and you need help and blah, blah, blah.
And you know, they haven't be like, dicks about.
And at least they have Karen Feehand, do that on shows.
Yeah. I remember that.
Um, they make them like dicks about it. And stuff care and fee handy, though, and shows. Yeah. I remember that. They make them like dicks about it.
And then everyone's cheering as a fat people.
Like, so what?
Like, I don't care.
I like to eat and I don't like to exercise.
What's the big deal?
And I was like, yeah, it's like, I don't think that there's
there's definitely a gray of all this.
Yeah.
It's like, it's not awesome to be, you will die younger
if you're that kind of overweight.
And by the way, it is awesome to eat like that.
Oh my god.
The thing is, so I could merrily emotionally eat the level of 600 pound
parts. And for sure, I just know that if I eat even a maintenance weight of
what I eat now, I'm always like, what have I done? What have I done?
I've been like very skinny and I've been like really big. And I find that
both are like, the thing is, as a girl, you get attention either way,
like from men, if you're dangerous,
you're getting or dangerously overweight,
like literally you always are,
and I-
Always black.
You know?
Yeah.
Um, but there is definitely like,
I've noticed if I'm bigger,
the people that are like viscerally angry about it
are always like women between 40 and 50.
It's always like ants and older female family members.
I'm trying to figure out why.
I think it's because they were raised,
if you want attention from men, you've got to be really skinny.
I think that it's just so in them.
I think that they're angry at young women for.
I guess youth.
Oh my god, there's so many women that grew up
in the fucking 50s and 60s that had to have flat butts
when they had round butts.
Yeah. And then they're like, it's in now, it's in now.
You fucking piss.
We're setting yourself to a body and shit, it's crazy.
Yeah, but I do think that it's like,
it is usually older women that have an angry reaction
to overweight now. I don't think dudes care.
No, dudes don't care at all a lot of guys are like hey boy
either care they don't do not mean to either like their thing or it's not or
whatever like some people don't give a shit that's their thing it's their
delight right Jacob he's gone
we gotta take a break we are way overdue for a break oh balls
uh should we say goodbye to Sophie? Should we say a proper goodbye?
Yeah, let's do a proper goodbye right now,
because we're going to come back and have like eight
minute on air, maybe three commercial breaks.
But obviously, Sophie Hilarious, please come back and see us,
too.
Please come back and hang out.
Check out her podcast, obsessed with Sophie
buttle and her album, Little Bit, A Buttle, out now.
She's at the comedy nest in Montreal, November 10th.
And I said it before she came in also that she was a writer on the reboot of Beavis and
Butter, which I love. I watched since JFL and I've fucking hilarious.
I just did some pun top 4 at five. That's fucking awesome though. That's a cool
thing. That's a legendary show. Legendary. Big J's gonna be in Kansas City this Friday
and Saturday October 28th to 29th and catch him at the Miami improv November
Third through the fifth after that Salt Lake City Philly and Austin for tickets and other tour dates visit big J comedy
Dot com Daniel Soder gonna be at Zane's National November 11th and 12th after that
Michigan Houston Brooklyn, Philadelphia all coming to you real soon for tickets and all tour dates go to Dan Soder dot com
We'll be right back. Thank you again. So yeah, thanks so far. We'll be right back with
the Bonfire. Kanye, good help.
You've been listening to Sirius XM's Bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday
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