The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Happy Birthday Jay!!!
Episode Date: December 8, 2022It's Big Jay's birthday and we get an important note from the boss! ...
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On Big J. O'Cerson, I'm Dan Soder.
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And now the bonfire with Big J. Okerson and Dan Soder.
Happy birthday, happy birthday!
Hey!
It's a day that will live in the infamy of fun
is Big J's birthday.
Happy birthday, Big J.
Pearl Harbor J.
Pearl Harbor J. Welcome to the Bond Fire Series XM,
Facts Talk 103.
I'm Dan Soder, that birthday boy.
It's Big J. O'Coursen and we lost.
And J.E.S. with 45.
45, dude, the big four-five.
Wild.
Loving it.
It's crazy.
J.E.S.
So old.
And look at you guys, you're in the Hollywood Hills
Did you think you'd be turning 45 just up in the hills with a chola?
Just hanging out
Christine and her
Oh, did you ever think you'd be turning 40 Christine Sad Girl Evans? Yeah
Did you ever think you'd be turning 45 with little sleepy up in the hills?
Fulls J's up there with little stinker.
Yeah.
What are you doing with her, man?
Uh, we're in studio in New York City where it's still cloudy and still
thick with tourists trying to look at a tree
that they can get.
Yeah.
Lewis was trying to drive out of the city today, so it took a little extra hour.
I was fucking the worst time.
I couldn't get the traffic was so bad I missed my doctors appointment
Yeah, it's really my next week. I'm doing stress factory next weekend and you just got to remember there's the Thursday
Friday and maybe even Saturday because of that stuff getting out of the city's gonna fucking suck you I don't know you Yuck
Yucky who poops has a birthday going so far
You yuck Yucky, you poops. How's your birthday going so far?
It's good. I woke up. I'm the stress of the
Burke-Kreyshire roast is behind
Any idea when that's coming out? I
Don't okay
It was it was fun though fun to be out here like you know seeing everybody and stuff was great
Yeah, it was a good times. Yeah, when that stress is over, man, what a dump, especially when you're not last on the
roast, I was like in the end of the middle.
Okay.
Of it.
And like, you know, you still, so you still get to kind of sit there and be like, wow,
I've done what I'm going to do has been done.
Yeah.
Like, so that's that.
And now I was just going to sit in here and drinking canned tequila drinks
What were those like good bad?
They just taste like the celtzer stuff. It's all the same white cloth all the they all tastes like high noon
They're all the same thing. Yeah
People say like you know like white claws is like the girl you won, but like okay, Lou
Sorry, you just want to see you as you give me the finger behind
that. He put his hand over the camera and then flipped you off.
And then he like, he pushed it towards his hand, you know,
it's aggressively birthday. He's like, this is enough with your
birthday already.
You look face.
He went, I love high noons.
No, he's rule. So watermelon ones are good. It's my favorite.
One of my favorite drops. Really good. I want watermelon ones are good. It's my favorite one of my favorite drops.
I want to go to the good.
Thank you for my birthday treat.
You to laugh to me to Legion of Skanks pre-record today
before this and they were like doing like a,
let's do things J-Likes for his birthday
that Lewis doesn't like.
It was like, all right, so we found some world star hip hop videos
to trail our for a documentary.
Thanks, dude. You guys did the bonfire on Legion of Skanks? All right, so we found some world-star hip hop videos. We love to trail our fur documentary. Nice to do it.
You guys did the bonfire on Legion's Kings?
They did a pedophile hunt that were the guy.
I didn't even know this must be brand new.
In England, they get to the guy.
And the guy just, it's the fear I had of why I decided not
to do one even for like funny.
Yeah.
Like with the Philly people, remember we were going to do that? This guy fucking, this guy slices for like funny. Yeah, like with the Philly people remember we're gonna do that
Yeah, this guy fucking this guy slices his own throat. Oh
Shit, it's pretty naughty. Yeah
It's pretty naughty. Jesus. And there's a really funny thing too of
They're also British so what like when it was done with it like well, well, that's that I guess
So so what's funny is the guy has the knife and he slices us through a little bit.
He's bleeding.
He survived this whole thing.
Oh, okay.
But he slices through it.
And then he's like kind of, you know, he's bleeding.
He's bleeding pretty good.
And he's doing the garbled bloody talk that you know what I'm doing. He's like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat.
I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat.
I'm trying to talk to you, I'm trying to talk to you.
I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat.
I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat.
I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat.
I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat.
I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat.
I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat.
I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat.
I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat.
I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat. I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat. I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat. I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat. I'm trying to talk to you, it's living your own throat. you when he butterfly knife that fucking razor open and start sitting up on the thing you're like man you are just a
Crazy mind-losing decision from ending it dude if his mommy ever makes a mad dude and he comes in there
He might be off with us. I mean they bet I've seen by the way we both had that before
I've seen him argue with the other barbers. Yeah, it's pretty aggressively while he's holding a sharp
Want to do something then man? Why don't you do something you're like hey, all right? I wish you would mother
Fuck he's made you doing he's doing shoulder checks. Well, he's got the razor blade to my throat holding it there
Oh, you're looking at a light line up this white boy. You think I won't do it motherfucker
Yeah, he's straight up he's trying to talk and shit to one of the other dudes in the barbershop once you know like okay
So how we looking now we look like if shit down, I can leave and not look like an asshole.
Well, the one time I got him upset, I told him I go, yeah, whoever answers the phone here has to be better with customer service.
But I was asking if you were here and the guy borderline hung up on me.
Yeah.
And he was like, I know the motherfucker who did it, do I know the fuck who did it.
And then it was just like, I mean, glaring him down the whole time while he was like half looking at me and shaving my throat
Yeah, what do you fucking want? Hey, you know a subject. We've never brought up on the show
I don't think but I keep seeing stuff about it now to remind me
We've never brought up on the show. I don't think but I keep seeing stuff about it now to remind me
We should start following the the goings on of I guess is a rapper or a personality on social media blue face
Yeah, we've watched him. He thought his girlfriend
But it turns out he never stops fighting his girlfriend Like yeah, they know they live together like two like two terminators in love with each other
So I always used to compare Vecchio and fuck styles like a terminator fighting
The fight in commando work goes through the wall. That's how that's how old Vec likes to bang and I think that's
I think that's how these people bang
If you're super in shape, I feel like you're you're you're hard hitting like I'm soft
I feel like you're you're you're hard hitting like I'm soft. So I'm like Sephiram that who confirmed that was that Lewis Lewis was next to Vecchio on like a
Oh, ship years ago. Yeah, practical joker's fucked on yeah, you fucked on that cruise and he's like man
It sounds like something crazy. He's going on that. It's really it's the first time the joke makes sense
From Adam Sandler's like are these people working out? We're having sex
Again, are these people working out? We're having sex. Again, are these people working out? We're having sex.
Oh my god.
We're all fucking.
Oh my god.
I'm going to come in here.
This guy is with pectoral race.
Yeah, those men were doing pectoral flies.
Pretty casual workout.
Yeah, dude, Becky, I remember me in handsome Pete,
we used to play FIFA.
We were playing FIFA in the living room,
and we just heard him fucking.
It was more like,
and we were like,
because handsome Pete would fuck,
and it would be like the,
you just hear that,
and you hear the girl being like,
meow, meow,
and then Vekchio is banging this.
That's fitness fucking.
Vecchio and his power lift fucking.
Vecchio and his power bombing them, naked.
And the dude, choke's me, shit.
He looks like he was just naked and he's like,
take your bitch, shit.
Yeah, Pete's sex was sweaty, Mike's is vaney.
Yeah, come get a taste.
They burn protein, they burn a lot of protein off
fucking. Then he just eats a lot of me. But yeah, you say about the blue face in his girl. I don't
know who she is. I saw something that was like she was on her way to being like a D1 athlete
like star. Yeah, she's like a CrossFit star, isn't she? I think she's a CrossFit star. But they
just hang out and hit each other on camera. Dude, I was someone posted a video of how it was going on a rest.
And I saw a commercial video or a poster for Rolling Loud,
wherever it's going next, that three day rap festival.
And like, he's like the third person listed.
There's a video him on with a streamer and like a popular video game streamer.
Scroofer just picks up a chair and fucking throws it
in the guy's house and he's like,
hey, you just broke that and she's like,
huh?
And then she's like,
she's like, yeah, she sits down in blue faces
just like, I don't know, dude,
this is just like, just let it go.
It's not a thing.
Is it she's crazy enough in her behavior
that people aren't feeling bad for her?
Because like, I feel like this
I feel like there's video. I don't know if I remember it even but there's video of this guy slugging her
I think it is one of those things where they're just so both
They're both so crazy that everyone's just like it just stay away from them
It's not worth a little wind barms, but no one's staying away from them. She has his face there. She has his face tattooed on a tooth that she wears on her neck.
She has his face tattooed on her neck.
Okay, so I do remember this.
I think we watch them fight, but this is their most toxic most.
There he is, pinning her on the ground.
I mean, if he hit her, she's hitting him.
If you love MMA, you know, it's, they to be a little fun like this is a kind of girl
Lewis should be with where she can just attack him and maybe
Lewis goes oh, I said what you're gonna there. All right, you're gonna do a single-leg shoot
All right, it's like was that Kato on the green hornet or was why you always gonna be on guard your girlfriend might just come out of the
Refter's fight. Yeah
You gotta go on babe Girl from like just come out of the rafters fight. Yeah. Yeah. You just got to go. I'm babe.
Yeah, these guys, where are you?
It looks like these two watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith
and they're like, let's live that.
Let's actually live that life.
Yeah.
We're both.
You just see, you just see them emerge from a bathtub.
Yeah.
I have to fucking roll something down the hallway
to get one of Katie's traps to go.
You got to.
You got to. Before we walk down the hallway out of the oven here, I got to fog the hallway. to get one of Katie's traps to go. You gotta...
Hey, before we walk down the hallway out of the elevator,
I gotta fog the hallway.
It's all the way to the freezer bar.
Hey, do you got any bubble gum?
I gotta put this fucking mirror on my knife.
You sure you shouldn't fucking pop off all of it?
It's just...
It's just...
It's gonna be...
It's like a chewing gum. You put them having a regular conversation with you.
I go, honestly, rock party with the Niners?
Could be pretty good.
I just stick it down to the fucking knife and put the mirror on.
Okay, we're looking good.
I'm going to work with it.
Looks like we're pretty clear.
That looks like our six o'clock is clear.
I'm going to work you in that, dude.
I think there are a couple that each have a piece of tape where they've pulled the other ones thumb print off of so they can
use their thumb print for things. How do you get access to his clear? How are you going
to board? I don't worry about that. Right here. They have one of those things like in spy
movies where they put it over their thumb and then they take it off and you're like,
oh, brilliant. Yeah, it's their thumb print on they take it off and you're like, oh, brilliant.
Yeah, it's their thumbprint on the pizza tape.
That is a go back to their most toxic moments. Yes, that was the first one.
I can't even be.
They're in the streets fighting and that's not their worst.
I don't mean to speak for all the men in the studio right now,
but as far as the New York chapter of Bonfire, I think this girl would give all of us a run
for our money in a fight.
Yeah, you think it's a fair one one you think they're shooting a fair one
i think she's super in shape i think she's like a crossfit champion isn't she
she's a run track
i think they fight each other
i think i would like now granted i fucking you know i get i get a handle
that button in the lights are coming up
like ronda rousey of like wrong around the time but I'm just don't just credit yourself I'm telling you
something this straight up right now fuck this check up I'm just saying she
might step into a right cross you know I'm pivoting on my hips but also she
could slip the jab slip across get in there and do a lot of damage on me I'm
all-length she catches if she catches you sucker punch, she'll hurt your jaw.
Yeah.
And then, you know, me and my wanting to be liked, I'll just keep asking, why did you
do that 20 times instead of doing anything?
Stop! Ow!
Now just go, why'd you do that?
Oh, god.
So if I would love to find out in five years that Katie's been abusing you.
She just rains down on me from behind.
You just know, you were being, you're being a good soldier and keeping your mouth shut.
She grabs me by my mouth and she goes,
you're not gonna fuck this up.
Are you gonna go, you don't wanna hurt the brand?
Damn, damn, tell me.
Do those ankles look 45?
And then you're gonna,
and then one day I just snap and everyone's like,
oh, blah, blah.
Let me leave your kid napping me.
Cut it here.
That's gotta be,
this relationship looks like it's that times a thousand.
Why I heard it again because it was like they come to watch them call.
They come to the comedy store, I guess, and they've had fights there.
Play this again.
You just have it going in the background while we discuss it.
I think the most dangerous.
Is it playing and I'm not saying?
I'm not playing over here.
Yeah, we can't see it.
Yeah, we can't see it.
It would be one of those things where if you're a girl
that fucks blue face that isn't her
and then you find out about it,
is gotta be one of the most terrifying experiences.
Yeah, you move.
Yeah, you're like, oh no, what did I do?
Well, I say something we all missed.
By the way, we all missed this when it happened
and we just let it go, which is good friendship
on all of our ends.
Christine clearly was seeing the video moving
and none of us were.
So we were talking at one point to what we thought was a pause screen and Christine
I don't know where this goes. Wow, they just like fight everywhere and started laughing
And we all went like did she get it way late?
You're seeing the video moving we weren't
She was watching an awesome fight scene and we're like yeah, we're just breaking down what they did do
I think uh, I was wondering about that.
No, why should I do that?
Yeah.
I'm gonna come, I'm gonna leave and come back in and go on with me.
I'll tell you what, funny because exposing the people.
Kristina.
What can I say?
It shows her as a track athlete and she
She's hot. Yeah, she was supposed to be a D1 like athlete or something. She was gonna be a big deal And then she got wrapped up in this guy's version. I guess of like Isabella was telling me about a little bit
She got wrapped up in a bad like a he had a version of his own bad girls club
and
She was on that and like they just became an item. You know, I'll tell you what the thing about
is the girl stuff and people just trying to expose
everybody right now and what, how lucky,
you know, you have to be to be in a relationship
in this business because Miles Sanders
is running back for the Eagles.
Did you see this at all?
No, she's here.
How's it going?
Did you have the idea about this?
We've seen this slide about this, apparently.
Just let it go.
Back to with the name. There's a video I saw today. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, uh, he's like, yeah, I don't know. You want to give me like head before the game or something and she's like, yeah, I could
do that.
And he's like, Hey, you want to hook up before I leave town for my flight?
And she's like, yeah, I'm down.
And then it just shows like a pretty girl who he's like, uh, you know, who I guess he
fucked.
And it's just like a weird like expose.
I have like, I don't know what that you're exposing here.
Is is Miles Anderson?
But if he's married, I guess it looks bad in that regard, but I just don't know what that you're exposing here is is my standard single But if he's married, I guess it looks bad in that regard
But I just don't know what you're gonna show people it's gonna make them go well then to hell with this guy
I don't want him taking the rock on third and five. Yeah, it's exactly it's like an athlete who I have no relationship to other than that
Is not being a good person to his girl?
Okay, I don't know.
That's sort of her problem.
It's also I'm more upset.
I don't mean to be faithful.
I need him to be good.
I would be more upset if I was a fan of the team
and he was getting sucked off before the game.
Because you're like, hey, you better save that.
You might need that.
Yeah, you really are like that.
That's the thing.
I'm almost like, you want to give me head before the game.
I'm like, I don't know, dude.
You should probably like just stay focused on the game. I'm almost like you want to give me head before the game like I don't know, dude You should probably like just stay focused on the game miles. I think you mean
Astor you need head after the game. That was my problem with it exactly. I'm like, dude
Should you be doing that before the game? I was thinking about it from a standpoint of that
Yeah, dude a fan of the athlete. I'm like, dude. Don't get your dick sucked by some strange before the game
What are you doing? I mean, I know you're an athlete and you got extra testosterone. But don't go give away your secret sauce right before you need it to run the
powerful machine that is you. Oh, the Vita Locca's back everyone. Hey, they've been lovely. Yeah.
What's up? What's up, AC? Vita Locca. Christine goes to Cali and she goes, she goes blood in blood out.
The second she touches down in California.
You know, not to jump subjects here so much.
Jacob, you did watch the KC Anthony thing all the way through?
No, I haven't seen it.
I only watch one of them.
Lou, you did.
I shared it.
I will say in rethink him at this, it just came to me now.
As much as I am
Buying into the idea the case Anthony at least didn't act alone and her father probably has something very much to do with this
In the 31 days that the child was gone and she was like they show her partying
She also got a tattoo on her back that says beautiful life and that's an episode one
Yeah, you're really like that is pretty fucking weird.
Yeah.
There's whatever the explanation for that.
It's not going to be a good one.
Isn't it like Bella Vita or something?
Yeah. La Bella Vita.
It's it's on her.
And then she got it covered up because life wasn't good.
Turns out.
And also when your kids missing, it's a weird thing to be like.
Yes, it's very weird.
Exactly.
It's a beautiful life.
Be like if Katie went away for a week and I was like best week of my life.
And you're like, what's up?
And you're like, what did you say?
What are you talking about?
You go ahead.
Yeah, you can't like your daughter's missing.
And she's like, sleep in in rules.
It's like something like that on her back.
We're like, you can't give a benefit of my kid.
Listen, can you put extra cash on the inside of my arm?
Cause I got all this extra cash. Can you, Christine, you find that the most toxic moments thing again? I have it. I'm not sure if it will work, but let's give it a shot.
Would you guys be down with looking at a bunch of cool low riders? How about instead I show you guys a bunch of sick ass low-rise research history tabs are all like hydraulics
Just drawings of clowns, you're like, I don't know what that is
Hey little puppet tell me coming up on it tonight
Says are said that we can fucking go down to the beach bro. Yeah, my cousin. He's loses up there
He's gonna needs some backup tonight.
You fucking whateaus need to show your fucking mouth while I've pulled up this video.
But, Christina plays, even works.
Her name's Chris, yeah.
I hate Chris, yeah.
Chris, yeah.
Never sounded wider in my life.
Her name is Chris, what is it?
I'm sorry.
Chris, yeah. Chris, yeah. name is krashan what is it i'm sorry krashan krashan rock blue face
she related to the rocks is this downstairs it's gankfest
rock stay getting hit rock you know rock yeah
rocks just catch hands you're the rock family stay getting hit you
even the rock
doesn't that was one of the funniest dude that when when Tony rock was on stage
the first fight me he's a gill come step up. I love me. I love Tony rock just being like oh fuck it
I'll fight you right now. I got nothing like if you think it is it's not I'm gonna try now
It is now yes
What's up dude your your name's big peepers now your big beepers man people people Christine's bringing bro
Oh, dude, you know, can I say something about blue faces girlfriend? She punched him right in the face solid rights straight right
I mean twice just knows the difference knows how to turn her hips. She got popping to it
With those and I quote Mike Fenolia nerf knuckles. She's so funny
Also, is he rocking a Vince young Titans Jersey
Oh, no, he really is
Oh, dude
She just leads with it. She just leads with punching
But they just I'm surprised so publicly so that's her getting arrested after that looks like
Now they're in a house
I think we're going to have a dozen. Now they're in a house.
This is, they're in blue faces apartment.
Wack 100 is his producer.
And they're trying to get her to leave, but she will not leave.
She's vaping.
She's been acting a little while during this video.
She's just holding a phone, like when a dog picks one up in their mouth and they're running.
And you're like, oh, look at that. Look at him go.
That's how to do it.
Can you describe every clip to us because I really enjoyed that.
Like you're giving a backstory while we're watching it unfold.
Yeah.
So this is her just walking through his house, his apartment.
I believe it's his.
It's you know, when you know when they show those videos though, or like a
one of baby, when you see a baby pick up a phone and it just shows the baby's
nose and its eyes and it's like, and it's walking around.
That's how this feels, but like a dangerous baby.
He goes, how about don't film it or film it well?
Yeah, this is making me sicker than when I saw
a Blair Witch project in the theater.
Yeah, yeah.
He's making me nauseous like the paranormal activity five.
Yeah, I'm like, you guys see Chloe Field in the theaters?
So that's a tattoo of him on her neck?
That's pretty cool.
Absolutely.
That's got to feel silly when you're walking out of a house
with a black eye from the person on you,
he goes, can you describe the guy who did that?
He goes, yeah, right here, just look up.
Yeah, here, I'll look at the sky
and you take down a sketch.
You're taking a picture of this.
You see, what is this?
Is this some of a bit you did it?
Black Luke, can you give us one of your
smooth explanations for this video? This one, I've been following these guys for a while. I, what is this? Is this some of a bitch you did it? Black Luke, can you give us one of your smooth explanations
for this video?
This one, I've been following these guys for a while.
I haven't seen this one yet though.
Is this him and her in a parking garage?
Him and her in a parking garage looks like they're
getting into an office.
He's filming her.
Yeah, let's see if we can hear it at all
because I bet this is him trying to like, again,
it's always the person we talk with,
it's a lot the person who's filming.
Yeah.
Where they always get like real cool real quick,
it goes, why are you behaving?
Tell the camera, why are you behaving?
And then they just write something
that just insane happened, where you just took a hockey stick
to everyone who knows how to do that.
Why did you do that?
I just watched you punch my father unconscious in the house
and then grab my mother's tit.
You go, why are you behaving?
Why are you behaving like a psychopath?
Why are you behaving like a psycho?
I just want other people to see how you're behaving.
Yeah, I always sit here and speaking this calm, weird voice.
I always talk, you always behave like a lunatic.
I always talk like this.
I always talk like this.
This is how I conduct myself.
You are a ratchet hobitch. Do you wanna let everyone know why you're just such a crazy little slut?
Do you want to tell everyone why?
Do you want to tell everyone?
Because I believe you had sex with a lot of my friends.
You because you are a prostitute.
Because you love dickin in a healthy way.
Do you want to tell people why?
Go to everybody about that and the way you've been.
That's the funniest one.
And by the way, she really walks with like the
A child is face like I don't want to.
She's like, say for the camera what a dumb bitch you are.
Is there a scene?
Is there audio on this?
Yes, I just turned it up here.
I'm out of room again.
What's you taking a two-stop board?
What's this is in a lot of bulls of bull she's like I'm in a parking garage
You don't love you don't love running it
Wow this this there I would love to sit down and watch them do a game of chess
Just play chess guys. Let's go. I want to see you play chess because he's just trying you know
He's just being like you don't love me
Show me your tips. You like me because I'm real
Which oftentimes I've heard is the problem with you and Christine J is that she doesn't love you because you're too real
That is the problem. I keep it ways real and I'm always just like you know J's real and you got a
Christina whack 100
You know, and I think that's what pushed
Christine towards the Latin Kings. I really think that's what it is
I think that's what how she made her bones on the street. Oh, yeah, dude
Her his concert should be just like his encore should be her walk out and he just decks her in the face
And stuff the song just but she comes out and hands up a mouthpiece and he goes all right
Watch this go down cuz ding ding
It's like major hit
He goes he goes there she's like last time I remember you one
Yeah, keep doing that fight we've brown this a blue face. I'm still standing
Brown is a blue face I was to stand in
Grishon you want to ring the bell? ding
ding
It's the painting of blue fish
Grishon punching each other
Dude somebody should make the painting of her and blue face as the ending painting of Rocky 3 exchanging
That's so great
Keep playing keep letting's play in the back. I just want's so great. Keep playing.
Keep letting's play in the back.
I just want to get to the next thing.
Yeah, the audio is pretty fucking awesome.
Oh, his friends are there laughing at her too.
Cool.
That's awesome.
Hey, guys, can you guys do some real villainous shit
and just circle around her and ask why she doesn't show her
titties to a real one?
Yeah.
Hey, also, can you guys tomorrow not be weird when me and her just back
together. And this is not a thing anymore.
We're giving kissy kisses and snuggies snuggies on the couch.
Can you guys just act cool in the kitchen?
Would you guys mind hiding your confusion and our relationship when you hang out with us?
Is this a bruise or a tattoo?
Let's see.
Uh, let's see.
It's a tattoo of a bruise.
She started getting all her bruises tattooed.
You can see them. Let's see. Let's see. To tattoo of a bruise. She started getting all of her bruises tattooed.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them.
You can see them. You can see them. You can see them. You can see them. You can see them. You can see them. after about two seconds, which is a very aggressive move to do to anybody. What it seems like in the video is that she, uh, see in the back of a black woman's hair,
head, uh, the hair is called the kitchen.
Yeah. Right.
And it's basically hers is not being kept up correctly.
And I think he's busting her balls about it.
Oh, about how her hair is gross.
You see, he was picking her hair in the very beginning of the clip.
Yeah. Oh, and then he's calling her gross.
Yeah, much. If I could's calling her gross. Yeah.
Very much.
If I could, she didn't show her blue stuff.
I'm going to go back.
You don't go back.
Yeah, play from here.
This is cat.
Fuck the boss.
I see the rampage.
Oh, go on.
Let's go.
Let me take him.
Oh, you did.
Come on.
It's weird.
It's weird.
I think, hold on.
Guys, I think they are setting up a fight.
I think they are going to fight. I think they're doing a thing where they are setting up a fight. I think they're going to fight.
I think they're doing a thing where they're like,
shall we go in the other room and throw each other
into walls?
Yeah.
Hey, meet me in the smash room.
Yeah.
You ready to go?
You ready to go in the dome?
Let's go down with the dome.
You feel like they're walking into the room
and then a gritty comes out and starts getting the crowd
pumped up?
Yeah.
Instead of like, you know, on 50 shades of gray,
how that guy has like a sex room,
where he's like, can I show you my room?
So like, when you go over to Blue Face this house,
he's like, do you guys wanna see our fight room?
It's pretty fun.
It's pretty wanna see Thunderdome.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
We got a bunch of old medieval weapons in there.
The three bedroom finish basements,
got a Thunderdome out back.
Yeah, it's pretty nuts.
There's a fire pit
that you can get kicked into, but it'll only burn you. One and send you right here. Where
you say we also have a we also have a hole you can kick someone down with violent dogs at
the bottom. If you want, I got a Bengal tiger that we could release call a seamstile. Just
have you fucking rip up if you want it. I got you guys get to choose a shield and one weapon
of your choice. You win. You
will get your freedom. You lose the emperor picks out it goes. So welcome. Also,
you guys, what do you guys like to snack on? Jacob, you were going to say something? I saw
a part of that. What's it? 50 shades of gray? You saw all three movies. No, just the first
one. You sat down and washed them all in the row. Unbearable. You no just the first you sat down and wash them all in the road unbearable. He's blessed the first one three times
Yeah, I mean those movies the guys ridiculous. Yeah, he's a sex room and
It's just a hot guy. He's a hot guy can get away with it
That's it. He's a hot guy wants to choke you during sex and all of every American woman was like what's up?
I'll do that. Yeah
I'll go. Yeah, I'll get down with it. Yeah, it's a rich guy that wants to beat you up a little bit as he fucks you.
And every, every, every woman in America was like, yeah, you got me.
I'm a little swampy. What's going on?
But if you're, if you're a five and you work at a, in a garage, I guess,
this is not going to fly. Yeah, you're going to be an episode of 2020.
Well, remember the girl that was the thing with, Odele Beckham, Jr., right?
Oh, yeah, where he wanted to eat poop, so.
And the girl, yeah, the girl was like,
well, he said, like, he'd fly me out
and like, do whatever, like, take me to wherever
some week at L.A.
And she was like, what do you want to go,
he goes, this is my fun, I want me to shit on camera.
And they were like, ew, and they were like,
so what happened?
She's like, I'm shooting the camera and I went to LA!
She was so lucky.
I had a blast. Have you had the fish tacos and Malibu? They're exquisite.
So you showed him a dumper and then we went to San Diego.
So girl, I took a shit!
Yes! Didn't even wipe! I was not able to watch them fucking get naturally close up.
I wonder what level of horrid things I would have done in my life had I'd stayed single,
like just as far as like you get weird offers.
You guys, have you been taking them up on them?
Okay, just like, oh, okay, I'll do that for money.
Yeah, Christine, Christine, like, collecting a trap or like, I don't know.
Christine took a video of herself taking a shit so she can get into Caroline's to see such a show.
Yeah.
She went, Chris Hardwick is there.
Can you watch me poop?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like Chris Hardwick watch me poop
and you let me sit in the middle of Caroline's.
Ah, midnight's really got legs.
Can I watch her pooping?
Yeah.
They, uh, yeah, dude, that's got to be a fucking wild world to find out which what guys, you know what I mean?
Like guys like that where you find out you're like, oh this super famous guy wants me to fucking
Spritz piss on myself
What a fool.
I'm tempted to go so viral right now and just go in the room where Christine isn't just Jor just rocker in the face
You're like whoa, I don't think you share the same demo as Blue Face. I think
Bonfire fans are like, what the fuck? You'll know that. I was once told him
can I to get my audience was light because Wiz Khalifa wasn't town. So I don't
think you know my audience, damn. Well don't act like you know mine because one
time I was in Rochester in the Lilac Festival, Climb Line and half. That's if I
the one Blue Face song I know start the first line of it. He says, Blue Face
baby, I'm every woman's fantasy
Oh, yeah, I mean here's the thing about blue face. Here's the thing about these two I
Can tell you for a fact that their sex is out of this world
Sure, you don't fight like this unless the fucking component is like insane
He's got a monster hog without a doubt and they just have sex and that that's when they apologize is when he's in her
Yeah, I mean I bet they like fight not on purpose, but I think it just becomes like because then she ends up going like she's like you ride move
I'm a dumb bitch
They do a lot of like face-to-face like
He's a fucking owner. They do a lot of like face to face like shut the fuck up. You fucking kill him
You hear nasty bitch. You put that dick in my mouth. You fucking you oh, you oh, I hate you motherfucker. He's like
Go back to those toxic golins
There's an actual fight coming
All of it. I mean there. I mean their toxic, but they're not like it's hilarious
That's hilarious like that's to give us a sight to in Christine's relationship. Christine's like this seems like a Tuesday. Yeah,
yeah, show you a show your tits. Welcome to the parking garage. That happens.
Every time I go to Christine, if you want to be with a real dude, why don't you show your titties right now? Show me your titties.
Dude, that's why we got to talk about I don't know what we gotta talk about it,
but we gotta talk about the Teddy Heart documentary,
Dangerous Brumble.
Well, you gotta show note also.
Oh my God, the show note we got, Jay.
Might be the best show note.
It's the funniest show note we've ever gotten on the show.
From Big Jim, dude.
Big Jim?
Oh my God.
The show note is, it made me laugh so hard when we were, Jacob walked with me to get coffee. it made me laugh so hard when we were
Jacob walks with me to get coffee it made me laugh so hard when I heard the
note that we were both like oh yeah we got to talk about it on the show and now
back to the bonfire with big J.O. Chris in and Dan Soder
man he really is the happiest fat person yeah dude it's like she's always
just tasting something on her finger.
Yeah, she's so happy.
Her emotions constantly hurt me.
Mm.
Yeah.
Is this woman never danced in front of a mirror in her life?
It's balkers.
It's balkers how happy she is with it.
It's just like, mm.
Ever she jumped once and destroyed the screen under her feet?
That was the video stage. That would make you walk into the ocean.
I saw the entire band of Genesis not break a screen like that together.
Yeah, instruments. Yeah, well, I mean, they're also you sitting down and not a lot of movement.
True that. Yeah, Elizabeth came out and did one jump in the air, fucking blank today. You know, it's my birthday? Christine, bring up that video. It's my favorite thing in the world ever.
Her blanking this thing.
Uh, you know, she just jumped and broke the video floor. It's just, I said it's one of those
things right.
Yeah, I'm gonna get my owner, I'm gonna get it.
Where I feel it, it hits me.
It's like, I feel her pain. It's like, uh, I don't know if it's a spoiler alert, but
I was gonna say for your special. I saw another thing today
By the way, do you remember we used to look at that guy?
EDP
445 was that the thing he's the guy he's the big fat black dude who's an Eagles fan
He would like to scream about the Eagles all the time and protein through the wall. Did he get caught a sacrifice?
No, he got caught from on a pedophile sting from the guy who I went out with crazy world's lighting
It was that guy and then I saw a thing on the internet today
He got nailed again like doing this was like what he thought was a young young girl
Exactly
It's funny because he's such a big screaming loud like presence of a guy on the internet
But when like because he's like a big screaming loud presence of a guy on the internet, but when he's like a big fatso, insecurity, I'm sure, like myself, that he, when he's talking, so not the
character on YouTube.
He's like, if I live there, I would smother you with hugs and flowers.
I would just want to love you.
Yeah, Tim trying to be super sweet to a young girl because he just has no idea how to
connect on that other than screaming at his mom's house about the Eagles.
Let's go!
Darius Slay, you gotta make that coverage meanwhile he's DMing a fucking 12 year old.
Hey!
I think he's up. I don't think does he even do Eagles videos anymore? Does he have a YouTube? Has he been canceled anyway?
I don't know.
I have not seen his YouTube with videos in a very long time,
but I want to search for that.
You look it up and you look it up once and all?
Oh yeah, because I want to see what the Eagle fans are saying.
Jay, are fucking this note that we got.
Oh yeah, from Big Jim.
Big Jim.
Is it gonna break my heart?
No, it's probably a perfect summation of this show, in fact.
Okay.
I'd probably say it's the, it's, would you say that?
About you, your, your, your psychosis, your both of you. Yeah, it's would you say that about you your your your psychosis?
You're both of you yeah, it really is a look inside our brains
Almost damn near the perfect note for the show Jim said that we need to
We need to stop being insecure about getting guests and
Shitting on them before they come on the show
As we do it right before they right before they
walk in and the joke that Jim uses is an example was that Brett Michaels came on and then I
said there's no way he's already gone. He's probably back at his hotel taking off his
hair like Vader's helmet. And that's right. And Jacob. I also said, I also said right away I go, he's in their waxing
prophetic like a rock dildo with each runk. Yeah. Yeah. And we've did it with Paris Hilton. There
was notes. There was Johnny Depp. They said we were shitting on him as we looked at him down the hall.
On stop. I mean, you really went to work on Johnny Depp. But we always assume they're not listening to
the show on their way into the studio. So we're fine. So as soon as they say that you want to come on the show, their reps turn the show on.
So Brett Michael, Brett Michael's manager heard all that at the beginning of this, I think,
like, get on.
What do you say, though?
Well, look, look, look, look, you're not going to be having a catch on the fucking
Al.
I know it.
I know it.
It was a good, good, like, broadcasting.
I don't think, I don't think Bonfire, you know what I good luck broadcasting. I don't think I don't think bonfire you know what I mean
I mean, well I don't know we're not gonna be a party girl 2023
Don't you dare did he was the sweetest I love them so much. He turned the room around isn't that the story?
I think they still came on yeah, they still he still came on so what a sweet
He got shit on and then showed up anyway
Yeah, it's a good job. I didn't want to solve over.
But if we take it all back, he didn't hear that you guys
shit on him. I'm sure he wouldn't like it. I bet he would.
Fuck. Did I heard that I heard that pencil Vainian his voice.
I bet he would have came after me.
We were just kidding. He pro. He sleeps in his helmet hair.
Yeah. He doesn't even put on like Darth Vader.
I can have I can give him a number where I can give him a space wig.
Yeah. Yeah. They're in the hair game together dog. We're
Birds of the feather flock together, dude
Yeah, Jacob's absolutely right though. We we make fun of the girl before she can turn us down
Yeah, that is yeah, that's how I conduct my life
We do this every time they put a pretty girl up on the screen
I tell you why I wouldn't fuck her. Yeah, Jay really can't break them down like project runway fast
So clearly I am so big Jay is so big Jay so fast to break down a hot girl that he should be a gay guy holding a chihuahua
Like that's how fast
Multi-billionaire. I know. And then you'd have some mussely boy lover.
That's like 19 and like Ecuadorian.
Oh my God, yeah.
You would just make him swim naked while I watch.
Yeah, while you paint, while you paint him swimming.
We hold your hands behind your back.
Oh my God, dude.
You'd be into some wild shit if you were an old gay rich man.
Oh my God, I would be a gazillionaire though.
I bet you just walk through poppers.
I wear a lot of ruby jewelry.
Oh my God, the amount of jewelry.
I'm really.
The amount of jewelry that you would wear
as an old gay rich man would be blinding.
Oh my God, the amount of medallions
that would be squeezed between my titties.
Oh my God. Just insane. And then the sun that you adopted from Laos would come over with
his girl with his new girlfriend and you'd be like, her ankles are disgusting. No, he
wasn't gay when he got here, but he's gay now. Yeah. I made him gay as his father. This is my lay ocean son, Rick.
He lives in Sacramento.
Doesn't visit his daddy much, does he?
When people make that argument, is there any evidence of that happening gay
couple adopting a boy and then him just being gay because he's raised by two
gay guys and he probably seems normal?
You probably see how easy life is and you're like, well, just take the easy route.
Yeah.
He goes, well, I hear my parents fucking up there and it sounds like it only hurts one of them
a night. So I don't know.
I feel like those are pretty decent odds.
Yeah.
So you know, four days a week, four days a week, I go fucking balls to the mat.
And the other couple days he goes to it and you should always have a salad with a meal.
You know what I mean?
It's just a little bit of upkeep. That's all it is
Well, you know, it's hacking you at this point
But I mean take out the gay sex of it and like the the downtime's got to be phenomenal
Yeah, but that's not where you would thrive you would thrive being a fashion icon
Yeah, just being fashion icon fashion icon you just live in Miami with a bunch of boys with banana hammocks around you.
And then you're just like, that skirt is disgusting.
Why are your eyes so close to your ears?
They don't even call me fat, they call me warm.
Yeah, he's so warm.
And it's what's crazy about Jay is he's gotten several models to jump off buildings.
I have a question.
If you, uh, if you have a body like a bird, why don't you have any wings?
And then she's like, I'm gonna fucking kill myself.
Bye, bird.
Bye.
Bye, Bikin' Erie, bird.
I would definitely smoke with a cigarette holder.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
With that a doubt.
Oh my God, the amount of hair product in your hair.
It would always be like a thing.
Your hair would be like perfect. Now tell you what, gay, not gay, whatever it
was. If I had bottomless money, Dan, I'll tell you where I'm going to go for my diamond
study earrings. Where? South Africa. Oh my lord, I hate Stephen's
singer. And Stephen's giving every other jeweler out there another reason to hate him, Jay.
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Jay, perfect.
Stop him alone, dude.
I know.
Alton Malone.
I know it's your birthday, but you're just handing out presents.
Um.
So yeah, so the note is there.
So we do.
I say big Jim, uh, we need more practice with big names and aren't just our friends. Yeah, so we got to get him in here
So if we know we're interviewing them instead of trying the people to go out of the hallway
Yeah, we wouldn't assume we're not gonna get them and then shit all over them because we like to hurt first
So we don't feel hurt exactly
The great defense is a good offense, I think. Thank you.
Thank you so much for saying that then much appreciated. Thank you. It's coming from a good place.
I promise you we're trying to make funny radio assuming that we will never get this person in
studio, but I can't see my. Johnny Depp or not. Johnny Depp wasn't coming in either way.
Hmm Johnny Deb wasn't coming in either way
Brett Michaels, I can understand fumbling on that
Okay, you can just thought there was a chance we can get Brett Michaels in
But we didn't and then we did and then we ran our stupid mouths and now fucking Lou never gets to throw a baseball in city field the way So close to you're so close to having a catch with Justin Verlander. I
Want us to find out if you heard about it
and doesn't like it through Lou reaching out
like he told them to.
Hey, it's me.
What if you're ready for that catch?
He goes, I don't have catches with people who are mean,
which traitorous monsters.
I think my number.
General.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, I think that day I'm putting on my Darth Vader helmet
of hair.
And then I would go, and then I would show up and I go join me on the dog side
Good job. I need to the dog side will be
Brett cut the back of your head off and put it on the top join the dog side
Is yeah, we never we were so out of sorts in that situation
We don't know how to like I want to ask him if he fucked Daisy De La Jolla or if he did, but it's like, we get it
when he's like, he's coming in, we're writing them right away.
Like, I don't know, he's gonna hate us.
The interviews are so natural and fluid. I actually think they
love doing your interviews more than any other interview they do
here, but you're just so terrified of being rejected by them.
Up until they walk in the door, it's just trash fest.
That's why I mean, imagine if Cory Feldman came on the show, the love he would get in the room.
I think we'd heal him.
I think we'd heal him.
Unless he, until he starts being like, dickish with us, if I had the first shot, it's something to say,
to Corey Fellmer, something like that,
I'd be like, dude, it's so cool of you to come here, man,
and be here, it's so neat.
I bet the first, I would absolutely say that in real life.
The first thing I would say, the second he walked
through that door is I'd be like, we can't tie
how much we appreciate this.
Yeah, I would almost tell him this is the biggest moment
in the history of the show, because it would be.
I would tell him it's gonna be so fun for him, even though I know it's not gonna be the biggest moment in the history of the show because it would be I would tell him
It's gonna be so fun for him even though I know it's not gonna be I mean it
I mean actually have a lot of fun with this. I mean
I can't happen dude. You're gonna absolutely have so much fun with this and felt like this
I haven't felt like this since I thought Gary was gonna call that true man. I go, but if he did it would be so incredible
That's true man.
Michael, but if he did, it would be so incredible.
Oh, imagine if we pulled Marcus King out of the hallway, this, we would have shit all over him, but we knew he was coming in.
So we'd love him.
Yeah, we are.
Yeah.
Anybody Marcus King rules anyone that we're friends with that reached the
carry car junior rules.
If you're a fan of ours, we find out about it.
We are way on board.
If you are one of the biggest celebrities in the world and you're talking to a
Rando channel on serious, we'll probably shit on to both of you.
Probably going to take a hot shit if we see any trunks caught a lot of
strays because of the show.
Listen up celebrities that are listening right now.
When you do anything in the fishbowl between the hours of our show, you're
going to get it on the air.
Just know that just know while one station is sucking your dick,
there's another one just ramming it up your ass.
I specifically want your people to know that five to seven
is a no fly zone, it's serious.
Yeah, you better put curtains up in that fish bowl, dude.
Are we or coming at you?
Hey, come on in.
Joe Osteen, it doesn't end.
Anyway, Joe Osteen, those are fucking
members of Earth Wind and Fire.
Mel and Biv, no devote. Tony Danza, Kevin Sorbo, come on in here. Go, those teams, those are fucking- Those are fucking- Those are fucking- Those are fucking- Those are fucking- Those are fucking- Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking- Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking-
Those are fucking- Those are fucking- Those are fucking- Those are fucking- Those are fucking- Those are fucking- It's really you're gonna hear some real thoughts you get the real thoughts Johnny Depp I could turn Johnny Depp's life around if you would listen to the gun who I didn't realize that these NFTs are so fucking goofy
I
Thought just by opening our studio door and me wearing Savage would have made him float into the room like peppy
LePu
He's like what it was crazy about the guitar
He just floats out of the room with his nose leading up.
Hold on, I'm getting the scent of wolf.
And guitar sounds like Shesert Wolf Rock.
Oh no, you guys.
That's it wolf rock.
Do you guys hear those six solos in the middle of nowhere?
And it smells like freedom.
Guys, hold on, I'm getting buried necklace on the nose. Johnny
Depp's gonna do he should do his next sovage commercial should be like it's just
say three years later and show him go back and the wolf still remember him. You
know those videos where they hug where the animals come up with it. Yeah they
remember the smell. They know my musk they know I've been around humans getting
all the pussy possible.
And they go, what's that? You want to hear me do wild thing?
Okay.
Do you mind if I tune?
Do you mind if I tune real quick?
Okay, I'm tuning.
It's a good note, Jim.
I did.
And and taken taken to heart. Yeah, we
will get better that that is true. We
have to find out they're definitely not
coming. But I will say then open sees.
Of course. Then we go nuts. Yeah, you get
us some big names. We're going to shut
our mouths. You don't get us some big
names. We're laying anyone that walks
in that lobby. It's fair game in there.
Yeah. I'm just going to shoot in fit.
It's going to be like shooting fish in a fish bowl.
It could be mud easy.
It could be mud.
It could be mother Teresa back from the dead.
We're gonna fucking mower down.
I'm going to take you down if you not get her on our show.
Jim, good note.
Thanks for listening.
Don't forget that the bonfires are radio show.
A full show.
We got a studio and everything. You can listen to us on Sirius XM or on the SXM app. Thanks for listening. Don't forget that the Bond Fires are a radio show, a full show.
We got a studio and everything.
You can listen to us on SiriusXM or on the SXM app.
It's basically the same thing.
Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bond Fires for a special offer.